Bewitched (1964) s02e07 Episode Script

Wake up.
Wake up, Samantha.
This is the day.
Mother, what? It's 5:00 in the morning.
Well, I wanted to give you time to pack your bags.
What are you talking about? I've let you have your own way a good deal since you were married but this is the one time you'll do as I say.
- Oh, Mother.
- You owe it to your past.
I'll be back in four hours, and then we'll start on our journey.
Would you mind telling me what this is all about? This is the black day for us, Samantha.
This is Halloween.
What's the matter, honey? Did you have a bad dream? No.
I'm just starting one.
Why aren't you ready to leave? I am not going to the sacred volcano with you, Mother.
I'm not going to have you stay and be hurt by all those children dressed like old crones.
I'm not going to leave Darrin.
Besides, we're having company.
You're having a party on Halloween? It isn't a party.
We're having the Tates and a client and his wife for dinner.
You're actually taking part in their barbaric customs.
Mother, when I married Darrin, it was for better or for worse.
Halloween is part of the worse.
I never thought I'd see a daughter of mine condoning bigotry.
I don't condone it.
Anyway, Darrin is not bigoted.
He understands my problem perfectly.
Excuse me.
Parcel for Mrs.
Stephens.
Sign here, please.
- Thank you.
- Thank you.
You see.
I told you Darrin understood.
He knew I was upset, and he sent me a gift.
Oh, Mother, I wish you'd believe me.
Darrin is really a sweet, sensitive man.
What will we turn him into? A tadpole or an iguana? Darrin wouldn't do this.
He just wouldn't.
There must be some explanation.
Maybe we should turn him into a centipede and have him trip and break all his legs.
Wouldn't that be marvellous? Well, that wouldn't solve anything.
The reason our marriage is a success is because we don't give in to illogical emotion.
We discuss our problems calmly and rationally and solve them like two mature adults who realize Darrin, how could you do this? Honey, I don't know a thing about witches' hats.
- Darrin? - Wait a minute, honey.
- What? - I sent them.
What? It's a line of party favours that Jack Rogers' company makes.
Since he's coming to your house tonight - Larry, how could you do that? - What? What are you trying to do, ruin my marriage, tear down everything? How can a few little witches' hats do that? They're obscene.
We wouldn't have them in the house.
- Witches' hats? - Yes, witches' hats! Besides, Sam doesn't like them.
They don't go in with her decorating scheme.
Honey? Try not to be upset.
Well, don't pay any attention to them.
I'll talk to you later, okay? Okay, sweetheart.
Bye.
Well? We're going to talk about it later.
Well, the time for talk is over.
Mother.
Good.
I stopped all your calls for a few minutes.
What do you want? I want Samantha to come with me to the sacred volcano.
Samantha is not going to be taking any trips in her condition, so - The sacred what? - Volcano.
We go there on Halloween.
Endora, if you think I'm gonna let Sam participate in some weird rites! We do not have any weird rites.
Well, Sam and I have worked things out for ourselves.
We're doing very nicely.
Thank you.
I'm sure you are.
- You've corrupted my daughter.
- Oh, for Pete's sake.
If you'll excuse me, I have some things to do, Endora.
All right.
That does it.
Get out.
All right.
You may not have anything to do, but I have a meeting.
- You're not going anywhere.
- I'm not going anywhere? I'm not going anywhere.
Will you stop that? Look, all I want you to do is to tell Samantha she can go with me.
And I won't play the game according to your rules.
- Now, let me go.
- Let Samantha go.
- Absolutely not.
- All right.
I've tried to be nice to you.
Have a good time tonight, Darwin.
You have a good time too.
I hope the volcano erupts.
I hope they're on time.
If they can get pass those trick-or-treaters they'll be here any minute.
Well, the kids should be going to bed pretty soon.
Sweetheart, I'm a little worried about Mother.
From what you told me, you were pretty firm with her this afternoon.
Relax.
It's the only way to handle her.
You have to stand your ground.
There they Sorry, honey.
Trick or treat.
There you are.
One for you and for you.
- Thank you very much.
- Thank you very much.
Hey, look, I got some pretzels.
- Trick or treat.
- Don't push me, little boy.
Aren't you gonna give us anything? More than you bargained for if you don't run along, little fellow.
- We're gonna have to trick you.
- I'm ready if you are.
Abracadabra, you're a tree.
Let's get out of here! That should hold them.
Well, don't we look pretty.
Cut the small talk.
What do you got? It looks like junk to me, mister.
I'm sorry, but it's the bag or nothing.
No dice.
I'm going to have to trick you.
Go ahead, trick me.
You're tricked.
You'd better watch out.
I'm not worried.
I've been tricked by experts.
Well, honey, that should be the last of them.
- Everything's ready.
- Good.
I think I'll go and check the roast.
By the way, did you chill the? - Darrin? - What is it, honey? Your face.
What about my face? Well, it's all kind of It's all kind of? Sam, what's happening? - Darrin, is this some kind of joke? - No! - Well, what did you do? - What did l? I didn't do anything.
I went to the door.
There was a little girl there.
L - Well, what did she do? - She didn't do anything.
She pointed her finger at me, and then she mumbled a few words.
"Picket, ficket" or some What is it? - What was she wearing? - She was wearing a gypsy outfit.
What? Mother.
And then she turned into a tree.
That's the silliest thing I ever heard.
- Mother.
- Oh, hello, Samantha.
You come into the house right away and take that spell off Darrin.
What if I don't want to? You're coming with me this instant, or I'll You'll what? - I'll spank you! - You can't talk to your mother like that.
What costumes they have.
The little one was the mother.
Why did you do this to me? I think he looks charming with a beard.
Sam.
You Somebody do something.
Take this thing off of me.
If Mother put the curse on, I can't take it off.
Mother, I demand you remove that curse.
Curse? What curse? Oh, nothing much.
You're going to be a werewolf.
- Lf this is your idea of a joke - Hardly.
Now, look, Endora, if you My hands.
Oh, good.
Company.
Just a minute.
I can't let anybody see me like this.
I'll go in the den and concentrate.
- Maybe it will come to me.
- It had better.
Good evening.
Samantha, Phyllis and Jack Rogers.
- How do you do? - It's nice to meet you.
- It's nice to meet you.
- Well, where's Darrin? Oh, he'll be right down.
He's upstairs changing.
Into what? Who knows? How are you feeling, Samantha? Marvellous, marvellous.
I remember when we had our first child.
Yes.
Jack Jr.
The miracle of birth.
That inspired our line of diaper cards.
Jack is so pleased with the way your husband's handled his account.
The Halloween sales were fantastic.
Decorations up 10 percent, party favours up 17 percent and Bag O'Bones costume, up 28 percent.
Hi, everybody.
- Hello.
- Hi, darling.
- You all right? - Oh, I'm fine, sweetheart.
Don't worry.
They must be very much in love.
He was only upstairs.
Well Louise, Larry and Jack.
- Hi, Darrin.
This is my wife, Phyllis.
How are you, Phyllis? - What happened to your hand? - Cut myself shaving.
Larry, will you fix another round of drinks? I have something to do in the den.
I'll go help.
Excuse me.
Wouldn't leave his side for a minute.
Oh, that's love.
- Did you remember it yet? - It's not easy.
You know, there are over 7000 combinations of magic words.
Well, try them all.
The hair's growing back.
That might be dangerous.
I did one a minute ago.
A horse, right on the sofa.
If everything else fails, get the horse back.
I may have to leave in a hurry.
- Mother, please concentrate.
- I'll try, dear.
Jack, what was that marvellous costume you had a couple of years ago? - You must mean the elephant.
- I think she means the family package.
Oh, yes.
The "Togetherness" outfit.
- What was that? - Well, it was a skyscraper.
Parents on the bottom, the kids on the top.
I just can't understand why it didn't sell.
Brilliant concept.
Excu Excuse me.
Look.
Look what's happening.
I'm still trying to remember.
Well, keep trying! What happens after the nails? Let me see your teeth.
My teeth? - Good.
No fangs yet.
- Fangs? You're doing fine.
Your ears aren't even pointed yet.
Just your head.
- Lf you think this is funny - Darrin, I feel terrible.
I really do.
Do you think I want my daughter married to a werewolf? Well, you keep trying.
I gonna go shave again.
No.
I better do it down here.
More coffee anybody? I'll have some, Samantha.
Where is he? - Who? - Darrin.
- Darrin? - Your husband.
What is it, Sam? You're acting funny.
Well, I have a lot on my mind.
Rogers is an important account.
This is no time to act funny.
Will you please get Darrin in here? Tell him to shape up.
Larry, I'm sorry.
Endora? Endora? Endora, where are you? Endora! Endora, this is no time to play hide-and-seek! Endora! Darrin, you can't keep running in and out like this.
Well, what am I supposed to do? Look at this.
And now your mother's gone.
Make some excuse for me.
I've gotta find her before it's too late.
Darrin, wait! Oh, my stars.
I'll be honest with you, Larry.
I don't understand Darrin tonight.
Yeah.
He does seem a little edgy.
I don't believe he wanted us over here.
Hey, you! Hi, Larry.
- It sounds like a marvellous recipe.
- It certainly does.
But what do you do with the marshmallows, Samantha? Bring them to a boil and add the radishes.
What? Samantha, is anything the matter? No, no.
Look what we found in the back yard.
Hi, everybody.
Surprise.
- Darrin? - Sure, it's Darrin.
Phyllis, will you look at that costume? I wish I could make one like that.
Darrin, why are you wearing that? You know what this crazy, wonderful guy did? Well, the kids next door like me to dress up on Halloween.
I can't believe it.
Will you look at that? That hair almost looks real.
What was that? Oh, that? A little noise maker inside my mouth.
It comes with the costume.
That's my favourite part.
Do it again, darling.
Oh, that's ingenious.
I think it's stuck.
That's the best part.
The kids are crazy about it.
Oh, I wish he'd come and show that to Jack Jr.
Some time.
Oh, that would be a pleasure.
Darrin, Darrin, I think you'd better change.
Now.
Boy, that's great! Get away from me, Sam.
I don't know what I'm gonna do next.
- Oh, my stars.
- The closet.
Lock me in the closet.
Lock me in.
Now, you hold on, dear.
I'll go see if I can find Mother.
If I get any worse, call the police.
Oh, I couldn't do that.
Then call the zoo.
Mother, why did you do this? For a very good reason.
Perhaps, next year Darrin won't treat Halloween so lightly.
You mean, you knew the spell all along? Take it off this minute.
Give me one good reason why I should.
He's my husband, and I love him.
Well, that's not good enough.
Not this time.
Not until this mortal has really learned his lesson.
His lesson? You're just as bad as they are.
At least they have an excuse, but I thought you knew better.
- What do you? - For years you've complained about how they make fun of witches.
"We're not like that," you said.
- "We're nice, civilized people.
" - But we are.
But now you're acting just like those ignorant people think a witch acts.
You're behaving exactly like their stereotype witch.
And you're doing it to the one person willing to believe we were different.
Well I'll say it once and only once.
I was wrong, Samantha.
I'm sorry.
What's going on out there? Oh, Darrin.
Sweetheart.
Endora, you remembered the words.
I never forgot them.
She never for You never forgot them? You mean, this whole thing was a joke? The hair, the fangs, the claws? How could you do that? Simple.
Well, I'm sorry you couldn't come earlier, Endora.
- It's certainly been nice meeting you.
- Well, thank you very much.
- Yeah, she's loads of fun.
- Oh, yeah.
Darrin, next Halloween I want you to wear that costume to our house.
Well, we'll have to see about that.
Now don't worry, Larry.
He'll probably be there.
That was a marvellous costume.
Yours too, Endora.
- I beg your pardon? - That bizarre outfit you're wearing.
And that hairdo.
Jack, your car's waiting.
You were saying, Mr.
Rogers? That's a great outfit you're wearing.
You must have won first prize.
Mother, why don't you help me with the dishes.
Costume, eh? - Oh, yeah, yeah.
- Mother.
- Good night, Jack.
- Good night, Darrin.
- Good night.
- Good night.
Happy Halloween.
Oh, yes.
Ta-ta, darlings.
See you both soon.