Big City Greens (2018) s02e07 Episode Script

[theme song plays]
One, two
One, two, three, four ♪
[vocalizing]
[chicken clucks]
[OFFICER KEYS]
Citizens of Big City!
There is a severe heat warning
in effect!
For your safety,
please remain indoors.
Unless, of course, you are required
to patrol the streets
while your colleagues all go
on a group trip to the beach.
Ha ha! How unlucky for me!
[moans] I'm so sticky!
Yeah, and I'm not feeling
any air from this fan.
Heh-heh. Nancy, you'll have to pry
my breezy body off this thing.
I certainly would, but
heat.
Eh. Tilly, how come you're not dying
like the rest of us?
It's quite simple, brother.
I think of cold stuff.
Just imagine some ice
on your head.
And in your heart.
And in your bones.
Until your soul itself
becomes a frozen wasteland.
[shudders] Brr!
Bill, got an ETA on the new AC?
Almost ready!
This top-of-the-line unit
was on clearance
for some reason.
How lucky for us!
Hello, Green family! Remy's here!
Oh, hey, Remy,
didn't hear you over the TV.
Cricket, you ready
for a little game of HORSE?
[neighs]
Uh, I'm not sure if it's a good idea
for you boys
to play out in the heat.
But, Mr. Green!
-We have a rivalry to uphold!
-Rivalry?
We compete just like the two
famous basketball players,
Ricky Stork and Wizard Williams.
Their fierce on-court rivalry
was the stuff of legends.
But no matter who won or lost,
they were always the best of friends.
[both laughing]
Come on, little buddy.
Actually, bud, I'm siding
with the big guy on this one.
It's just too hot to play today.
Well, with you forfeiting,
I guess that means
-I win!
-Huh?
I said, if you forfeit
I win. Hm.
[chuckles]
Oh, Remy! Remy.
I've beaten you
47 times in a row.
And no amount of heat
will ever stop that streak.
Besides, how hot can it really be?
[chickens clucking]
Oh, my gravy.
Ah, the ol' Green family hoop.
The "Rusted Lady" herself.
[groans] It's so hot!
Ha ha, yeah, well, it's a dry heat. Hup!
You're up, Cricket!
[grunts] Holy toot,
I'm getting broiled out here!
[grunting]
[CRICKET] How is Remy
getting through this heat?
I mean, he's wearing
a cashmere sweater!
Gotta be twice as hot as me.
I just gotta outlast him.
He'll wilt like a flower.
He'll melt like an ice cube.
He'll--
Hey, you gonna keep wilting
like a flower,
or are you
gonna step up and play HORSE?
I wanna play HORSE!
[grunting]
OK. Ah, gol dang it
[weakly]
Sa-wish!
Heh! Oh, that's an "H" for you.
Go, Remy!
I don't get it!
I'm over here dying
and you're not even
breaking a sweat!
-How?
-Who knows?
Maybe it's not as hot
as you think it is!
Huh?
[grunting]
[groans]
OK, the manual suggests
starting this thing at "room temperature."
No! Room temperature
is for airports and toilet water!
Crank it!
Yeesh, OK!
Heh heh, touchscreen.
[beeps]
OK, that's as cold as she goes.
[ALL] Ahh
Ah, that's the stuff.
Very refreshin'.
I hate to say this,
but maybe
it's a little too cold?
Yeah! Make it hotter!
[sighs] Okie-doke. Um
Uh-oh, my finger's too cold.
Hey, Tilly, could you maybe try--
Ooh that can't be good.
-[groaning]
-Hup! Swish, baby!
My win streak's goin' bust!
This is the end of an era.
Everything dies eventually, right?
Hmm. Hey, Remy,
why is this ball so sticky?
Sticky? Hee!
Hey, pal,
come here for a second!
Oh, uh,
maybe we should go back to--
Sure, sure, in a minute.
-Uh, Cricket-- [grunts]
-[grunts]
It's OK, easy now,
I just wanna see somethin'!
[grunts]
I knew it! Popsicle vest!
That's how you've been staying cool.
All this time you've been a boy-sicle!
Well, I, uh--
A boy-sicle!
No, I--
A boy-sicle!
It's just
Cricket, I've lost every game
of HORSE we've ever played!
Heh-heh!
Yeah, you love losing!
What? No! No one likes losing!
I don't like losing so much that
I covered myself in popsicles!
OK, OK,
just settle yourself.
I'll tell you what, you take off
the ice cream and we'll play for real.
Mm, what if I just wear the part around
my middle, like a cummerbund?
Uh, now what,
may I ask, is a cummerbund?
[REMY] It's like a sash
that you tie around your waist
when you're wearing
a dinner jacket or a tuxedo.
Its origins are Persian, actually!
Oh, well, that is interesting,
but I will say--
Oh, wow,
who turned up the oven?
Ohh! Oh! Jeepers creepers!
Oh, raspberries!
This complicates things!
How 'bout it, Cricket?
Forfeit now and we can
get out of this heat.
No! Never! We'll adapt!
We'll just have to play
Street HORSE.
Son. Hey, son! Son!
Aw, nuts.
Brr!
[all shivering]
OK, bad news,
I couldn't get the boys' attention,
and all the windows
and doors are frozen shut.
[blows] So, how's everyone doing
with this refreshing cool air?
Yeah, not great, Bill.
What's the plan here?
Well, we used
all the blankets and coats.
We could light a fire
in the fireplace, but we've got no wood.
Uh, what about your carvings?
They're wood.
What? I don't think
things are that desperate.
Seriously?
We're freezing our faces off!
Gotta stop the cold thoughts.
Only hot thoughts.
I'm visualizing fire,
electric blankets, mercury a'risin'
Oh, no, what's that over there,
a snowman? On an ice floe?
No, I don't want to join you!
No! No!
You keep warm, sweetheart.
Hey, Alice, you look
-[shivering]
-cold.
I gave all the coats to Tilly,
but do you want to share
the bathrobe with me?
[shivering] What's the catch?
Since you're asking, I want you to
apologize for hoggin' the fan earlier.
I'd rather freeze.
Alice, that's macabre,
you're going to scare Tilly.
[GRAMMA] She can't hear nothin',
she's lost in her brain.
[zipper unzips]
[TILLY] No, Mr. Penguin,
I'm too young for iced coffee!
[uneasy groan]
[panting]
[grunts]
That's like the eighth pigeon
I've seen faint.
You nervous?
No way, man, you were cheatin'!
That's put the fire
of competition in my belly!
Oh, gosh, don't say fire.
Remy, the rules are simple.
In Street HORSE,
the whole city is our basket!
[LLOYD] Shut up!
OK. Doin' a kick shot
off the hydrant
over the traffic light
into that open manhole!
Ow! Come on, it's too hot!
[grunts] OK.
Kick shot over the, uh
Guys!
Aah! Hot pavement,
hot pavement! Hyah!
Uh, "Croblins 4." [grunts]
Gonna, gonna throw it
gonna throw it
into the horseman's lap.
Give me your little shoes, man,
my foot pads are broilin'.
No.
Why won't you give me your shoes!
-No.
-[crying]
OK! Backswopp the hoop
and in the hole. [grunts]
[grunts]
[sighs]
You about ready to had enough?
You better not believe it.
[incoherent babbling]
[both groaning]
Remy, this might be it for me.
I-- huh?
Oh, my sweet flamin' banjo
[REMY] Ricky Stork and
[CRICKET] Wizard Williams!
[BOTH]
What?
Please, children, calm yourselves.
We've come to share with you
an important lesson.
Is it about
over-competitiveness?
And the value of friendship?
No. We just came to tell you
to get out of the sun.
It's too hot!
Remy, they're saying
we got so caught up
in the heat of competing,
we forgot that our competition
was built on
a beautiful friendship.
No, you're not listening.
I forfeit the game!
Here you go, buddy.
My win streak is over.
[whispers]
This victory is yours.
Thanks, Cricket.
But I refuse your forfeit!
I can win this
on my own merit!
Whoa.
[grunting]
Come on, you
[grunting]
[screams]
He's doin' it.
[screams]
Yes!
[grunts]
Yeah! That's my friend!
-[cheering]
-Huh?
[cheering continues]
Thank you, Ricky Stork.
Thank you, Wizard Williams.
You saved our friendship!
Uh-oh!
[tires screech]
[shivering]
Huh?
Ahh
[shivering]
Oh, good, you're back.
Your dad's getting the fire going.
Papa, your wood carvings!
You're the only
little carving I need.
[shivering]
[sighs]
All right, I give in.
Get in here, you lil ice block.
Ahh. Sorry for hoggin' the fan.
Well, well, well.
I cannot believe that
-Alice Green just apolog--
-Shh, shh. Snuggle time.
[shivering] Doesn't look
like the fire is catchin'.
[NANCY]
Got any more carvings, Bill?
Just one.
[kiss]
[whispers]
Part of me dies with you.
[all shivering]
[tires screech]
Hot, hot, hot!
No time for the doorknob!
Officer Keys' secret technique,
Unwarranted Hero Kick!
Whoa!
[both]
Ahh
[all]
Ahh
Mr. Fish! [blowing]
Oh! Thank goodness.
Wowie! The temperature in here
is just perfect!
OK, old garage, what wonders
do you have for me
to discover today?
Hey, "Ralphie Rodent's
Birthday Bash"?
But Dad and Tilly said this
got run over by the lawnmower!
Happy happy birthday birthday!
Happy happy birthday birthday! ♪
Ugh! OK, actually
that is pretty annoying.
[gasps] Gramma's old-person
mobility scooter?
Hoo-boy,
I could have some fun with this!
Wait, what would Dad say about
such a new, fun,
and exciting idea?
Hmm
No! No fun ever! I hate fun!
No!
[gasps] That sounds just like him!
If I'm gonna ride that thing
without Dad knowin',
I gotta be real careful.
[humming]
[chuckles] That's what
I'm talkin' about.
OK, now what's the button
that makes this thing go--
[screams]
[groans]
[laughs]
I must've gotten like ten feet
of lift off that thi--
Whoa! Oh, my gosh!
Dad's garden!
Oh, what have I done?
Well, at least
everyone's asleep, right?
[BILL]
What the heck was that?
Oh, no, no, no, no, no!
I don't know what could've
made all that racket--
[all gasp]
No. No! No!
All right, Cricket, if you wanna
survive the wrath of Dad's anger
this is gonna have to be
your best performance ever.
My crops!
Who would do such a thing?
[panting]
Oh, my gosh! What happened?
Cricket! What did you do?
Me? Oh, yeah,
it's always Cricket!
You're givin' me a complex.
Because it is always you!
This time it isn't! I swear!
This is far too big a mess
for a little guy like me!
No, no, no, no, no, no,
this was something much bigger!
There are mysteries in this world
our little minds just can't understand!
Who knows what's out there?
Like aliens?
Yes.
It was aliens!
-Aliens.
-Aliens.
Aliens?
This must be one of those
[gasps]
crop circle thingies.
[BOTH]
Crop circle thingies.
OK, that is enough!
Aliens aren't real.
You know how susceptible
these two are to suggestion.
I believe the boy.
Aliens are literally the only
explanation that makes sense.
Dad, Dad,
the truth is not down here.
The truth is out there.
OK. Everyone back inside.
Cricket, I don't know
how you ruined the garden.
But I'm gonna figure it out.
[gulps]
All right, Cricket.
Tonight was a small victory,
but a victory nonetheless.
Just gotta stay the course
and double down on my lie.
[rooster crows]
[TILLY] Hopefully these
will reach their spaceship.
I wanna be on their good side.
If you can't beat 'em, join 'em.
Guys! You do realize
it's Cricket, right?
The aliens eat
the nonbelievers first.
Ugh.
I know it was Cricket.
I just gotta prove it.
There must be something
I'm missing. Hmm
What you're missing is the truth.
And it's aliens. [munching]
Who are you
and why are you here?
Dad, this is Andromeda!
Oh, yeah, Tilly's friend.
And alien expert!
Andromeda! Did you see that
aliens visited our house?
I did, and it's awesome!
OK, great.
So, Andromeda,
what's your read
on this whole situation?
Hold my cheese poofs.
[robotic voice]
Alien scan initiating!
Beep! Beep!
Zwoop! Zwoop! Zwibbity zwalien!
Show me the alien!
-Hmm
-So, what does it say?
The aliens were here and they
want to lay their egg sacs in your garden.
[gasps]
We're gonna be daddies!
Cricket, I am giving you to the count
of ten to come clean and confess!
OK! Thank you, Andromeda!
Time to go home!
OK, Dad's not believin' it.
Don't worry.
The government will be here soon.
Hmm government, you say?
[Billy groans]
Poor little ear of corn.
You never had a chance.
You gonna cry?
Hmm
[nibbles]
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
-[whispering]
-Hmm?
-[whispering]
-Uh, excuse me
Excuse me. Hello?
Where were you at exactly
11:00 PM last night?
What?
What kind of a question is--
Did you see any suspicious activity?
Any lights?
Any bright, bright lights at night?
-I-- I--
-Any giant glassy eyeballs?
Perhaps compound, like a bug's?
Well, it's possible
I missed something, but I
I mean, no! Of course I didn't
see anything like that!
That's right,
you didn't see anything.
What? Aah!
Now you can't just--
What the?
-He just disappeared.
-[panting]
Oh, man, great job!
Thank you, Master Cricket.
That was some pretty convincing acting,
Vasquez. How'd you do it?
I'm taking a class
in dramatic theater
at my community college.
-Ooh!
-Very nice!
Well, let's see
if my big Billy fish is bitin'.
I'm tellin' ya
it was real strange!
The man was snoopin' around,
takin' photos,
and then he just
vanished into thin air!
This whole thing
is like somethin'
Somethin'
from another world?
Yes, Papa, it's aliens.
Yes! I mean, no!
Look, I'm tryin' to say
I'm startin' to think
the damage wasn't caused
by Cricket!
[gasps] Oh, he's buyin' it!
[growling]
Oh, whatcha got there, girl?
Oh, no!
Oh. What a shame.
Tilly, where is your brother?
Oh, he said he was real tired
and just went runnin' and runnin' away.
He ran to bed!
[GRAMMA]
Must've been pretty tired.
It's only 4:00 PM.
Mm-hmm.
Hello, son.
Going to bed early, I see.
Nothing's more important
than a full eight hours.
[whimpering]
Rest up. You're gonna need it
for tomorrow.
[whispers]
Good night, son.
[kiss]
[exhales]
Oh, man, come mornin',
I'm gonna be in
a royal heap of trouble!
If I'm gonna have
any chance of survival,
I need to get Dad
to believe in aliens.
Tonight!
Huh?
What the
Hello?
Hello? Who's out there?
Bill.
Oh, my gosh! It can't be!
It is!
I'm a real live alien!
Now that you see that I'm real,
there's no need
to punish your son!
I destroyed your garden!
But-- But I thought
Cricket rode the scooter.
I rode the scooter!
Tell me this ain't real!
Tell me I'm dreamin'!
If I wasn't real, could I do this?
Ah! It is real! Aliens are real!
Yes, but the important part
is that your son
did not do anything wrong!
Well, it's been nice chatting,
but the mothership awaits!
Oh, my gosh!
We're not alone!
[rooster crows]
Now to see if my plan worked
Ahh, what a wonderful night
of sleep!
And how's my fine family
doin' on this fine mornin'?
Hey, did anyone see
those crazy lights last night?
Weird, huh?
Hello, son.
Come eat your mashed potatoes.
[slurps] Mashed potatoes
for breakfast? OK
It's all become
so clear to me now.
This is the alien
I saw last night.
And this is me having
every illusion I've ever held shattered.
Well, I'm glad all that
is resolved now.
And we can all
just go back to normal.
Yes. Normal.
Huh. I like what you're sayin'.
Not so much
how you're sayin' it
Son, you've really opened my eyes.
If you say so.
-[gasps]
-Did ya hear the news?
Your dad believes
in aliens now!
He had some kind of awakenin'
in his sleep!
He finally came to the light.
Yes. Yes, it's real good.
Uh, but let's go back
to talkin' about normal stuff.
Just bein' real normal.
Uh, Tilly,
what's ol' Saxon up to?
Saxon is ready for the arrival,
Cricket. Are you?
Now put your brain shield on.
-Uh
-[panting]
Was that Dad?
Oh, no!
Everyone! We are not alone
in the universe!
Aliens are real!
Oh, no, I broke Dad's brain!
[gasps] Christmas!
[screams]
Everyday is Christmas
when the aliens are here!
You're not Santa!
Spread the good news!
-Ma'am! Aliens!
-[screams]
Come on, folks! Where ya goin'?
No one's listenin' to me.
I'll just have to scream louder!
Uh, Dad, let's just keep the aliens
to ourselves for a little while.
Oh, no, not the roof!
[panting] Gramma, help!
Oh, why are you in your underwear?
It's less resistance
for the tractor beam!
Hey, attaboy, Billy boy!
Spread the good word!
You guys aren't helping!
The aliens
are my overlords now.
And I am hereby revoking
my life of a humble farmer
to be a servant
for our alien masters!
Who is with me?
-What?
-[people laughing]
Look at this guy! What a fool!
I gotta help him. [panting]
[grunts]
Now I don't know what
the bathroom situation
is on Mars, so
[inhales]
try to go before we leave!
Bill. You're freaking out
everyone that loves you!
You came back!
The others won't believe me!
You can eat them first.
Everyone!
The alien's returned!
I was tellin' the truth!
This just keeps getting better!
[all laughing]
Uh
Now if everyone could please
strip down for the tractor beam!
-Good-bye, Earth.
-Dad! Dad, listen!
Ah, he's too far gone!
[grunts] What the?
Dad, there was no alien!
It was me!
I lied about the whole thing!
[all gasp]
I rode the scooter!
I destroyed your garden!
I put on stilts
and an alien costume
and I lied!
I lied, I lied, I lied!
I'm so sorry! I just didn't
wanna get in trouble!
Oh, please say something!
Anything!
I flip-flappin' knew it.
W-- What?
Gotcha! Woo-hoo!
You look so ridiculous right now!
Ma, catch our little alien.
I gotta say,
I did not see this comin'.
Son, isn't it so much easier
to tell the truth?
It would've saved us both a whole lotta
trouble if you'd just admitted it.
[stammering]
Oh, you got me good, Dad.
You're such
a great actor, Papa!
You knew aliens didn't exist
the whole time?
Heh, yep
the whole time.
All right,
let's all just get inside.
Wow. That's it?
Well, that was a weird ending.
I've got sweat in my eyes ♪
Lost a bet and got bit
By a hundred flies ♪
I fell out a big ol' tree ♪
Hit every branch
And scraped up both my knees ♪
I got chased by a dog ♪
Bit by a frog ♪
Got a rash on my legs ♪
Dropped a dozen eggs ♪
I got splinters
In seven and ten ♪
And tomorrow
I'll do it all again ♪