Blunt Talk (2015) s02e07 Episode Script
I Can't Believe I Made Love to a Sociopath
1 Previously on Blunt Talk Leave me alone or I'll jump.
Just tell me who sent you and why.
I work for a private dick name Arbogast.
He tells me where to go and what to do, but not what for.
This is Dr.
Rudy Kamper.
Off the record, what's your stance on anal sex? What is the latest with Jimelia? ROSALIE: They're not speaking.
Jim was mistaken for a prostitute and had a brief affair.
MARTIN: I'm going to ask Rosalie number 2 if we can be open.
She's not a normal girl.
She might go for it.
That's good.
Honesty is always the best.
- [gunshot.]
- [all scream.]
Sorry, everyone.
Gosh, I guess it was loaded.
The logbook, sir.
Why would she take it? They must want something on me.
What in the logbook is incriminating or humiliating? - Everything, sir.
- Fuck.
Blunt Talk Say these words after me.
I despair of my sins.
I despair of my sins.
Oh, God of all goodness Oh, God How could I ever have offended Thee? Of all goodness.
[choking.]
[sighs.]
[toilet flushes.]
GIRL: Mom, please.
I'm thirsty.
ANNOUNCER: Is this what you want for your children? Water from your neighbor's toilet? Yuck.
Vote against Proposition 68.
Paid for by People for Clean Water.
All right.
Are you ready for round 2.
5, babe? Okay.
[TV turns off.]
Do you always wear a towel around your head after a shower? Of course.
All men do.
Why? Nothing.
Hey, did you ask that because you think I shower too much? I don't think I do.
I I don't know, maybe I do.
- Dr.
Rudy, I - I'm gonna be frank with you.
You should know who I am right from the start.
I need to keep my anus very clean.
It's a neurosis brought on by my job.
But please don't judge me.
I'm just really, really into you.
Oh, thank you.
[sighs.]
Celia, where are you? I've been texting all night.
I don't I don't like you being alone with a gun and not knowing how to use it.
Or maybe there's an ammonia gas leak.
Lots of people die like that and never realize it.
Anyway, it's like you're sending me telepathic cries for help.
So I'm gonna come over.
'Cause I'm worried.
And I know you're upset about Evelyn, but I I can't stop loving you.
[moans.]
Oh, this feels so good, Harry.
Oh, I just remembered.
I had another disturbing Orson Welles dream.
Oh, I liked it better, sir, when your subconscious played Burt Lancaster films.
I agree.
In this dream, Orson was young and he was a murderer.
Maybe maybe I'm feeling anxious about going to see this private detective, Harry.
There's also Vivian and Moby's rehearsal dinner tonight, sir.
Perhaps that's troubling you.
Oh, shit, I forgot.
Why didn't you remind me? I just did, sir.
RAFE: Hello.
Hello? Rafe? Rafe, my boy! What the hell is this? I'm giving your father a witch hazel treatment.
It's good for circulation and joie de vivre.
- And it works.
- Oh.
It's good to see you, son.
But what are you doing here? You got a fight? Why didn't you call? No, no, no, no, no.
I'm down for Vivian's wedding.
I figured you knew I was coming.
Oh, nobody tells me anything around here.
Vivian invited you? Yeah, of course she did.
Of all my stepmoms, she's my favorite.
- Right.
- More witch hazel, sir? Or shall we get you dressed? It's 8:00 A.
M.
and Arbogast opens at 9:00.
Oh, let's get dressed, Harry.
What's an Arbogast? A private dick who's trying to sully your father's reputation on behalf of a treacherous water conglomerate.
That is an excellent definition of an Arbogast, Harry.
Now, we have your mid-'80s Dan Rather look or your late-'70s Serge Gainsbourg.
Oh, Gainsbourg, definitely, Harry.
Bien sûr, Major.
Please let me come in? Please.
Why? If you want to be with other women, that means that you don't want to be with me.
We've been over this.
I do want to be with you.
I just don't know if I'm capable of monogamy.
Nobody is, but you have to try.
I have tried, but maybe I'm too much like a bumblebee and I just need to dip my stinger in all the beautiful flowers.
Oh, God.
You make me want to hurt myself.
There's a lot of Motrin in here and a rusty lady's Bic.
What? No, no, don't hurt yourself, please.
I-I'm sorry I said anything.
I'm sorry I hurt you.
I'm an idiot and should be shot immediately.
I've come to an executive decision.
If you want to be with other women, then I need to be involved.
I don't want to lose you.
Involved? It's good to see the top of your head, son.
Thank you, Walter.
Yeah, I can hardly believe it, but I've missed you.
How are your relations with those fight fixers? Have you worked things out? Oh, yeah, I squared things.
I threw a fight in Sacramento.
Still got the scarlet loaves to prove it.
Scarlet loaves of bread? I believe he's referring to blood in his stool, sir.
Like matzo made with the blood of gentiles.
That sounds serious.
Have you been to a doctor? No, I hate doctors.
You know that.
- What if I came with you? - What, and hold my hand? Recently we had a very good doctor on the show.
Yeah, a little internal bleeding never bothered me.
Mmm, that was great.
But sorry it was so fast.
No, it was lovely.
Don't worry.
You know, whenever I make love, i.
e.
, have premature ejaculation, I like to think of that speech from Blade Runner that Tyrell gives to Rutger Hauer.
- What speech? - Oh.
"The light that burns twice as bright "burns half as long, "and you have burned so very, very brightly, Roy.
" - Oh.
- So that's how I make love.
Doesn't last long, but burns bright.
JIM: Celia, I knew it.
- Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
- I smell ammonia.
Don't fall asleep.
Dr.
Rudy? Jim, what are you doing here? How did you get in? I still have my keys and the doorbell doesn't work and I've been texting you all night.
[sniffing.]
Oh, wait a second.
That's not ammonia gas I smell, it's spunk.
You bastard.
Jim, it's not what you think, okay? Yes, we had sex two and a half times, but it didn't mean anything.
I'm a married man.
What? You're married? I can't believe you didn't tell me.
You booty called me at 2:00 in the morning.
I figured you knew.
How dare you lie to my Celia.
I'm gonna kill you.
Jim.
[grunts.]
Jim, I'm your proctologist.
I know how to choke you out.
Don't hurt him! Don't hurt him! [grunting.]
Jim, if I let you go, you promise to be reasonable? Fuck you.
- [men grunting.]
- Oh, Jim.
He's been inside both of us, but I still love you.
And he's out.
Rafe, maybe you should wait here.
I don't want to get you mixed up in this.
Oh, come on, I'm used to these lowlifes.
It'll do you good to go in with some muscle.
You mean additional muscle.
All right, Rafe.
It'll be like when you used to come to work with me when you were a boy.
What are you talking about? I never came to work with you.
You didn't? Never too late.
What I want to do is flip this man, Rafe.
Make him our Deep Throat.
- Flip? - Yeah, bring him on our side.
Make him a source.
Prove that Rudolph Global have been trying to silence me.
Why do they want to shut you up? Because I'm on to them.
[glass clinks, liquid pouring.]
You got an appointment? Oh! [grunts.]
I know you.
I got a common face.
I certainly recognize you, Mr.
Blunt.
Oi, watch where you're going, sir.
Sorry, I'm nearsighted.
You were at Echo Park Lake.
I've been a lot of places.
Yankee Stadium, outdoor pissoirs in Amsterdam, Three Mile Island before it closed.
Did you beat up Cornelia White? I'm not hired for the rough stuff.
I got carpal tunnel.
I only do surveillance and blackmail.
Then who hired you to follow me? I am willing to pay for this information.
We were told by Barry that you're the middleman for the middleman for the middleman.
Now spill.
I used to be the middleman for the middleman for the middleman, but I got a promotion.
How much you looking to spend? So she wants you to come over tonight for dinner and Scrabble and see how the chemistry feels.
- Tonight? - Mm-hmm.
I'm glad I shaved.
Also, um, I wanted to let you know I've put together a segment on a new resort being built in Chernobyl.
It's for tragedy tourists.
Oh, good.
Walter's been looking for a hopeful angle on Chernobyl for years.
He could have injured my brain choking me out like that.
Let let's just forget about it.
The past is dead.
The the present is dead and so's the future.
Why'd you have sex with him? Because that's what I do when I'm in pain.
- You hoard, I sleep around.
- Oh, my God! Look, just look at it this way now we're even.
You slept with Evelyn, I slept with Dr.
Rudy.
Okay, if we're even, does that mean we're back together? Because I can't take much more of this.
I thought we were gonna be s-sweet friends forever.
Look, I know.
Why don't we just not have sex with anyone else - until I'm not confused anymore? - Okay.
And then we can spend time together as as friends and do things like play chess.
That all s-sounds really good to me.
Hi, guys.
Jim, I brought you this for your office.
What is it? It's all my recycling.
Wha Shelly [sighs.]
this is so sweet.
Oh.
I'm gonna go arrange it in my office right now.
Okay.
[door shuts.]
He's a big boy, sir.
He knows his own body.
No, I'm worried, Harry.
When we leave here, call Dr.
Rudy.
Rafe won't go and see him, but ask the doctor if he will come to my office.
- He owes me.
- Yes, sir.
Oh, shit! We have to pick up a present for Vivian and Moby for tonight.
Hey, uh, Blunt.
It's taking your son a lot of time to get the cash.
Now, you're not, uh, stalling, are you? Don't worry, he'll be back.
You've got my Queen Elizabeth mug.
No, I saw it when I was in your office and so, uh, I got my own.
You were in my office? I've been lots of places.
Wrigley Field, men's room at the Louvre, Mount Fuji.
- Oh, Rafe.
- Got it.
Great.
All right, here it is.
$10,000.
I want you to go on-air tonight and tell the truth.
That Rudolph Global hired you to shut me up about recycled water.
And you're going to hide my face and my voice like they do for whistle-blowers and pervs? - Of course.
- Okay.
Ah, you get the money after the broadcast.
Come with us now to the office.
No, I-I can't do that.
I'm seeing my cardiologist in an hour.
Oh, don't be ridiculous.
No, it's not ridiculous.
It's impossible to see this guy.
He's tops in LA.
By the time I get another appointment, I'd be dead.
Fine.
Be at UBS at 4:00 P.
M.
I'll be there.
And, uh, I'll be ready for my close-up.
Are you sure, Walter? I think it's risky.
Yes, I'm sure.
All I want is to influence the vote on Proposition 68.
And putting Arbogast on the show will help achieve that.
- Huh.
- CELIA: Rafe? Celia, my love! [laughs.]
Oh.
Hey, Rafe, put her down.
Put her down.
- Jim, my brother! - Oh, God! Walter, there's something very important I'd like to show you.
- Excuse me, you look attractive.
- Dr.
Rudy? Oh, hey, babe.
I'm gonna kill you.
- Hey, Jim, Dr.
Rudy.
- [grunting.]
CELIA: Not again.
Jim.
- Hi, Dr.
Rudy.
- Hi.
Help me.
Help me.
- [grunting.]
- [stammering.]
Help help me.
Both of you stop it right now.
All right, all right, all right.
That's enough, that's enough.
Break it up.
Break it up.
Oi, who is this clown? - He's a doctor I'd like you to see.
- Oi! I can't believe I've slept with all of you.
I'm a whore! No, Celia, you're not the whore.
I am, remember? I'll go calm them down.
Should take four to six minutes.
Good.
We'll all meet in the conference room as soon as they're pacified.
- Yes, Walter.
- Doctor, this is my son Rafe.
I'd like you to examine him.
Oh, well, it's very nice to meet you.
Yeah.
The mother must have been a very large woman.
Am I wrong about that? ANNOUNCER: This is what cats do, not people.
Vote against Proposition 68.
Paid for by People for Clean Water.
God, that cat looks a lot like Beth.
Yes, and what I've discovered, Walter, is that the super PAC is funded by a subsidiary, three times removed, of the Rudolph water bottling concern.
Classic shell corporation.
Which is proposing to build a desalinization plant right here in LA.
Excellent work, both of you.
Thank you, Walter.
It pleases me so much that you should think so.
I had the most awful erotic dream where you were standing - Can we try and stay on task? - Absolutely.
What Celia found plus Arbogast should give us a strong one-two punch for tonight's broadcast.
And we can keep the pressure on the Rudolphs until Proposition 68 reopens the plant.
Exactly, Jim.
Do you think the council's gonna skip Proposition 69 and go right to Proposition 70 so as to not offend anyone who doesn't like oral sex? Who doesn't like oral sex? [groans.]
Mm-mmm.
- [phone rings.]
- Oh, it's Arbogast.
Yes, Mr.
Arbogast? I can't make it tonight.
I'm sorry.
We'll reschedule.
Well, this is not acceptable.
You're not still at the cardiologist? No, there's something big that I I have to deal with.
Come to my office after your show.
I have some new information for you.
What kind of information? The names of the men who beat up Cornelia White.
[hangs up.]
Damn it! [slams table.]
We just lost our smoking gun.
Arbogast can't make it.
So we'll go with our regular broadcast? Yes, buggeration.
What do you have ready that we can fill in? Pompeii, Auschwitz, Ground Zero for a long time, the travel industry has been catering to what is known darkly as tragedy tourism.
Now you can add Chernobyl to the list of places to go for those drawn to the ghoulish and the disturbing.
Look, Doctor, is this gonna be over soon? I have a rehearsal dinner to go to.
Oh, don't worry.
I'm very fast with my insertions.
Have you ever seen the movie Blade Runner? Where's Rafe, Harry? He'll meet us at Arbogast's, sir.
And then we'll go to the rehearsal dinner together.
I told Rafe that Arbogast had information about Cornelia's assailants.
- Excellent.
- You know, Harry, it disturbs me when I think how much Margaret Rudolph is wrapped up in all this.
Yes, sir.
I can't believe that I made love to a sociopath.
Wouldn't be the first time, sir.
If I had the logbook, I could show you.
Genital.
That's seven letters, um, so that's 50 points right there.
And it's on a triple word and the G is doubled.
So that's 87 points.
- Oh! - Damn it! I hope you don't mind I used a sort of dirty word.
Oh, not at all.
I love the word genital.
I guess it's been on my mind since Martin told me he's in the oral stage of development, but still has the genital and anal stages to go through.
I know, it's a lot of work for him, but it will be worth it when he graduates.
I agree.
Do you think his hair looks better free-range the way it is now - or with a center part? - Free-range.
His face is so beautiful, it needs no adornment.
Again, I agree with you.
We are very like-minded.
Guys, can we please keep playing? I have really good letters.
[stammers.]
No looking.
Where's Rafe? Hey, what is it, Harry? Oh, I'm just thinking about Sylvia, Major.
I've stitched up my heart, but the wound is infected with regret and self-accusation and longing Oh, here's Rafe now.
- What did the doctor say? - I'm fine.
I've been on a beet juice cleanse to drop weight.
That's why my stool was red.
I never made the connection.
That's good news, Rafe.
So how is Dr.
Rudy? Well, he's a little odd.
He claims to be a great womanizer.
Really? Mmm, yeah.
[moaning.]
[exhales.]
Oh, wow.
Right? - Wow? - Oh.
That that's it? We got a hotel room for a tryst and you lasted one minute.
How long did you last with Celia? Have you ever seen the movie Blade Runner? WALTER: Mr.
Arbogast? Oh, shit.
Oh, my God.
- Good lord.
- What happened to him? Looks like his head's been bashed in.
Oh, something like this could have done it.
No, Harry, put that down! [screams.]
[shrieks.]
Oh, he seemed so alive and and strange just a few hours ago.
Oh, my God, sir.
The logbook.
He died clutching the logbook.
They'll think I killed him.
- We must call the police.
- What? No, no, we can't.
We've been framed.
My my prints are all over the murder weapon.
Oh, will these hands ne'er be clean? Harry, pull yourself together.
You're not Lady Macbeth.
The police will sort this out.
The LAPD? Are you kidding? - I'm an illegal alien.
- You are? Yes! They'll have me on the gallows in no time.
We've got to get out of here! Harry! Harry! Harry! Harry! Harry, stop! I'm calling the police.
- Stop, police! - [screams.]
I don't understand.
I haven't even dialed.
Someone must have tipped them off.
[elevator door opens.]
Oh, shit! Gentlemen, I'm very happy that you're here.
We received a call, Mr.
Blunt.
Yes, I was about to call you myself.
No, no, we're gonna have to bring you in for questioning.
He's dead, all right.
Cuff both of them.
No, that won't be necessary.
[groans.]
I can explain everything.
Ah! You won't cage me! [grunting.]
- Harry! [groans.]
- Hey, easy with the old man.
Don't put your hands on me.
- [grunts.]
- Rafe! [sighs.]
- Celia? - Yes, Jim? Today you said you were still too confused to get back together, but you don't have to be confused about me.
Yeah, I know, Jim.
What exactly are you confused about? [sighs.]
Everything.
Who I am.
What I want.
Where I'm going.
Why I'm here.
- Mmm.
- Sex.
Love.
Babies.
Death.
Ooh! Checkmate.
Oh, damn it.
I like being friends.
Yeah, it's great.
[exhales.]
[moaning.]
Try counterclockwise.
Oh, okay, yeah.
[moaning.]
Shelly, I'm sorry, my wrist is killing me.
- Okay.
- It's been, like, 45 minutes.
Just a little longer.
[moaning.]
I have surgery tomorrow and I really need this hand.
If I'm paying for half of this hotel room, I want to come.
You came.
I'll pay for the whole room.
[huffs.]
[both grunt.]
I cannot believe that Walter blew off our rehearsal dinner.
Ah! Ah! He probably is just having a hard time letting you go, honey.
I I couldn't let you go.
- [huffs.]
Maybe you're right.
- Ah! But I'm still pissed at him! [stammering.]
Ah! I love it when you're mad at Walter.
I'm Walter! I'm Walter! - How much do you love it? - I love you! - Tell me.
- I'm Walter! Ah! Good night, Rosalie.
Good night, Rosalie.
Good night, Rosalie.
Good night, Rosalie.
I feel like my heart can hold both of you, but am I going to be punished for being so happy? Yes, Martin, we're all gonna be punished.
It's a cycle of life.
So let's just enjoy this while it lasts.
You're very wise.
[sighs.]
[camera clicking.]
Cupid must be angry That's all I can say How else to explain Why he's gone away I've been praying He'll come back So fervently But Cupid Must be angry With me I know I've had it comin' Cause I've blown his every plan He must have said, I've had it With this foolish man And Cupid, don't be angry With me Cupid, must be angry Angry, angry with me Whoa, whoa, whoa
Just tell me who sent you and why.
I work for a private dick name Arbogast.
He tells me where to go and what to do, but not what for.
This is Dr.
Rudy Kamper.
Off the record, what's your stance on anal sex? What is the latest with Jimelia? ROSALIE: They're not speaking.
Jim was mistaken for a prostitute and had a brief affair.
MARTIN: I'm going to ask Rosalie number 2 if we can be open.
She's not a normal girl.
She might go for it.
That's good.
Honesty is always the best.
- [gunshot.]
- [all scream.]
Sorry, everyone.
Gosh, I guess it was loaded.
The logbook, sir.
Why would she take it? They must want something on me.
What in the logbook is incriminating or humiliating? - Everything, sir.
- Fuck.
Blunt Talk Say these words after me.
I despair of my sins.
I despair of my sins.
Oh, God of all goodness Oh, God How could I ever have offended Thee? Of all goodness.
[choking.]
[sighs.]
[toilet flushes.]
GIRL: Mom, please.
I'm thirsty.
ANNOUNCER: Is this what you want for your children? Water from your neighbor's toilet? Yuck.
Vote against Proposition 68.
Paid for by People for Clean Water.
All right.
Are you ready for round 2.
5, babe? Okay.
[TV turns off.]
Do you always wear a towel around your head after a shower? Of course.
All men do.
Why? Nothing.
Hey, did you ask that because you think I shower too much? I don't think I do.
I I don't know, maybe I do.
- Dr.
Rudy, I - I'm gonna be frank with you.
You should know who I am right from the start.
I need to keep my anus very clean.
It's a neurosis brought on by my job.
But please don't judge me.
I'm just really, really into you.
Oh, thank you.
[sighs.]
Celia, where are you? I've been texting all night.
I don't I don't like you being alone with a gun and not knowing how to use it.
Or maybe there's an ammonia gas leak.
Lots of people die like that and never realize it.
Anyway, it's like you're sending me telepathic cries for help.
So I'm gonna come over.
'Cause I'm worried.
And I know you're upset about Evelyn, but I I can't stop loving you.
[moans.]
Oh, this feels so good, Harry.
Oh, I just remembered.
I had another disturbing Orson Welles dream.
Oh, I liked it better, sir, when your subconscious played Burt Lancaster films.
I agree.
In this dream, Orson was young and he was a murderer.
Maybe maybe I'm feeling anxious about going to see this private detective, Harry.
There's also Vivian and Moby's rehearsal dinner tonight, sir.
Perhaps that's troubling you.
Oh, shit, I forgot.
Why didn't you remind me? I just did, sir.
RAFE: Hello.
Hello? Rafe? Rafe, my boy! What the hell is this? I'm giving your father a witch hazel treatment.
It's good for circulation and joie de vivre.
- And it works.
- Oh.
It's good to see you, son.
But what are you doing here? You got a fight? Why didn't you call? No, no, no, no, no.
I'm down for Vivian's wedding.
I figured you knew I was coming.
Oh, nobody tells me anything around here.
Vivian invited you? Yeah, of course she did.
Of all my stepmoms, she's my favorite.
- Right.
- More witch hazel, sir? Or shall we get you dressed? It's 8:00 A.
M.
and Arbogast opens at 9:00.
Oh, let's get dressed, Harry.
What's an Arbogast? A private dick who's trying to sully your father's reputation on behalf of a treacherous water conglomerate.
That is an excellent definition of an Arbogast, Harry.
Now, we have your mid-'80s Dan Rather look or your late-'70s Serge Gainsbourg.
Oh, Gainsbourg, definitely, Harry.
Bien sûr, Major.
Please let me come in? Please.
Why? If you want to be with other women, that means that you don't want to be with me.
We've been over this.
I do want to be with you.
I just don't know if I'm capable of monogamy.
Nobody is, but you have to try.
I have tried, but maybe I'm too much like a bumblebee and I just need to dip my stinger in all the beautiful flowers.
Oh, God.
You make me want to hurt myself.
There's a lot of Motrin in here and a rusty lady's Bic.
What? No, no, don't hurt yourself, please.
I-I'm sorry I said anything.
I'm sorry I hurt you.
I'm an idiot and should be shot immediately.
I've come to an executive decision.
If you want to be with other women, then I need to be involved.
I don't want to lose you.
Involved? It's good to see the top of your head, son.
Thank you, Walter.
Yeah, I can hardly believe it, but I've missed you.
How are your relations with those fight fixers? Have you worked things out? Oh, yeah, I squared things.
I threw a fight in Sacramento.
Still got the scarlet loaves to prove it.
Scarlet loaves of bread? I believe he's referring to blood in his stool, sir.
Like matzo made with the blood of gentiles.
That sounds serious.
Have you been to a doctor? No, I hate doctors.
You know that.
- What if I came with you? - What, and hold my hand? Recently we had a very good doctor on the show.
Yeah, a little internal bleeding never bothered me.
Mmm, that was great.
But sorry it was so fast.
No, it was lovely.
Don't worry.
You know, whenever I make love, i.
e.
, have premature ejaculation, I like to think of that speech from Blade Runner that Tyrell gives to Rutger Hauer.
- What speech? - Oh.
"The light that burns twice as bright "burns half as long, "and you have burned so very, very brightly, Roy.
" - Oh.
- So that's how I make love.
Doesn't last long, but burns bright.
JIM: Celia, I knew it.
- Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
- I smell ammonia.
Don't fall asleep.
Dr.
Rudy? Jim, what are you doing here? How did you get in? I still have my keys and the doorbell doesn't work and I've been texting you all night.
[sniffing.]
Oh, wait a second.
That's not ammonia gas I smell, it's spunk.
You bastard.
Jim, it's not what you think, okay? Yes, we had sex two and a half times, but it didn't mean anything.
I'm a married man.
What? You're married? I can't believe you didn't tell me.
You booty called me at 2:00 in the morning.
I figured you knew.
How dare you lie to my Celia.
I'm gonna kill you.
Jim.
[grunts.]
Jim, I'm your proctologist.
I know how to choke you out.
Don't hurt him! Don't hurt him! [grunting.]
Jim, if I let you go, you promise to be reasonable? Fuck you.
- [men grunting.]
- Oh, Jim.
He's been inside both of us, but I still love you.
And he's out.
Rafe, maybe you should wait here.
I don't want to get you mixed up in this.
Oh, come on, I'm used to these lowlifes.
It'll do you good to go in with some muscle.
You mean additional muscle.
All right, Rafe.
It'll be like when you used to come to work with me when you were a boy.
What are you talking about? I never came to work with you.
You didn't? Never too late.
What I want to do is flip this man, Rafe.
Make him our Deep Throat.
- Flip? - Yeah, bring him on our side.
Make him a source.
Prove that Rudolph Global have been trying to silence me.
Why do they want to shut you up? Because I'm on to them.
[glass clinks, liquid pouring.]
You got an appointment? Oh! [grunts.]
I know you.
I got a common face.
I certainly recognize you, Mr.
Blunt.
Oi, watch where you're going, sir.
Sorry, I'm nearsighted.
You were at Echo Park Lake.
I've been a lot of places.
Yankee Stadium, outdoor pissoirs in Amsterdam, Three Mile Island before it closed.
Did you beat up Cornelia White? I'm not hired for the rough stuff.
I got carpal tunnel.
I only do surveillance and blackmail.
Then who hired you to follow me? I am willing to pay for this information.
We were told by Barry that you're the middleman for the middleman for the middleman.
Now spill.
I used to be the middleman for the middleman for the middleman, but I got a promotion.
How much you looking to spend? So she wants you to come over tonight for dinner and Scrabble and see how the chemistry feels.
- Tonight? - Mm-hmm.
I'm glad I shaved.
Also, um, I wanted to let you know I've put together a segment on a new resort being built in Chernobyl.
It's for tragedy tourists.
Oh, good.
Walter's been looking for a hopeful angle on Chernobyl for years.
He could have injured my brain choking me out like that.
Let let's just forget about it.
The past is dead.
The the present is dead and so's the future.
Why'd you have sex with him? Because that's what I do when I'm in pain.
- You hoard, I sleep around.
- Oh, my God! Look, just look at it this way now we're even.
You slept with Evelyn, I slept with Dr.
Rudy.
Okay, if we're even, does that mean we're back together? Because I can't take much more of this.
I thought we were gonna be s-sweet friends forever.
Look, I know.
Why don't we just not have sex with anyone else - until I'm not confused anymore? - Okay.
And then we can spend time together as as friends and do things like play chess.
That all s-sounds really good to me.
Hi, guys.
Jim, I brought you this for your office.
What is it? It's all my recycling.
Wha Shelly [sighs.]
this is so sweet.
Oh.
I'm gonna go arrange it in my office right now.
Okay.
[door shuts.]
He's a big boy, sir.
He knows his own body.
No, I'm worried, Harry.
When we leave here, call Dr.
Rudy.
Rafe won't go and see him, but ask the doctor if he will come to my office.
- He owes me.
- Yes, sir.
Oh, shit! We have to pick up a present for Vivian and Moby for tonight.
Hey, uh, Blunt.
It's taking your son a lot of time to get the cash.
Now, you're not, uh, stalling, are you? Don't worry, he'll be back.
You've got my Queen Elizabeth mug.
No, I saw it when I was in your office and so, uh, I got my own.
You were in my office? I've been lots of places.
Wrigley Field, men's room at the Louvre, Mount Fuji.
- Oh, Rafe.
- Got it.
Great.
All right, here it is.
$10,000.
I want you to go on-air tonight and tell the truth.
That Rudolph Global hired you to shut me up about recycled water.
And you're going to hide my face and my voice like they do for whistle-blowers and pervs? - Of course.
- Okay.
Ah, you get the money after the broadcast.
Come with us now to the office.
No, I-I can't do that.
I'm seeing my cardiologist in an hour.
Oh, don't be ridiculous.
No, it's not ridiculous.
It's impossible to see this guy.
He's tops in LA.
By the time I get another appointment, I'd be dead.
Fine.
Be at UBS at 4:00 P.
M.
I'll be there.
And, uh, I'll be ready for my close-up.
Are you sure, Walter? I think it's risky.
Yes, I'm sure.
All I want is to influence the vote on Proposition 68.
And putting Arbogast on the show will help achieve that.
- Huh.
- CELIA: Rafe? Celia, my love! [laughs.]
Oh.
Hey, Rafe, put her down.
Put her down.
- Jim, my brother! - Oh, God! Walter, there's something very important I'd like to show you.
- Excuse me, you look attractive.
- Dr.
Rudy? Oh, hey, babe.
I'm gonna kill you.
- Hey, Jim, Dr.
Rudy.
- [grunting.]
CELIA: Not again.
Jim.
- Hi, Dr.
Rudy.
- Hi.
Help me.
Help me.
- [grunting.]
- [stammering.]
Help help me.
Both of you stop it right now.
All right, all right, all right.
That's enough, that's enough.
Break it up.
Break it up.
Oi, who is this clown? - He's a doctor I'd like you to see.
- Oi! I can't believe I've slept with all of you.
I'm a whore! No, Celia, you're not the whore.
I am, remember? I'll go calm them down.
Should take four to six minutes.
Good.
We'll all meet in the conference room as soon as they're pacified.
- Yes, Walter.
- Doctor, this is my son Rafe.
I'd like you to examine him.
Oh, well, it's very nice to meet you.
Yeah.
The mother must have been a very large woman.
Am I wrong about that? ANNOUNCER: This is what cats do, not people.
Vote against Proposition 68.
Paid for by People for Clean Water.
God, that cat looks a lot like Beth.
Yes, and what I've discovered, Walter, is that the super PAC is funded by a subsidiary, three times removed, of the Rudolph water bottling concern.
Classic shell corporation.
Which is proposing to build a desalinization plant right here in LA.
Excellent work, both of you.
Thank you, Walter.
It pleases me so much that you should think so.
I had the most awful erotic dream where you were standing - Can we try and stay on task? - Absolutely.
What Celia found plus Arbogast should give us a strong one-two punch for tonight's broadcast.
And we can keep the pressure on the Rudolphs until Proposition 68 reopens the plant.
Exactly, Jim.
Do you think the council's gonna skip Proposition 69 and go right to Proposition 70 so as to not offend anyone who doesn't like oral sex? Who doesn't like oral sex? [groans.]
Mm-mmm.
- [phone rings.]
- Oh, it's Arbogast.
Yes, Mr.
Arbogast? I can't make it tonight.
I'm sorry.
We'll reschedule.
Well, this is not acceptable.
You're not still at the cardiologist? No, there's something big that I I have to deal with.
Come to my office after your show.
I have some new information for you.
What kind of information? The names of the men who beat up Cornelia White.
[hangs up.]
Damn it! [slams table.]
We just lost our smoking gun.
Arbogast can't make it.
So we'll go with our regular broadcast? Yes, buggeration.
What do you have ready that we can fill in? Pompeii, Auschwitz, Ground Zero for a long time, the travel industry has been catering to what is known darkly as tragedy tourism.
Now you can add Chernobyl to the list of places to go for those drawn to the ghoulish and the disturbing.
Look, Doctor, is this gonna be over soon? I have a rehearsal dinner to go to.
Oh, don't worry.
I'm very fast with my insertions.
Have you ever seen the movie Blade Runner? Where's Rafe, Harry? He'll meet us at Arbogast's, sir.
And then we'll go to the rehearsal dinner together.
I told Rafe that Arbogast had information about Cornelia's assailants.
- Excellent.
- You know, Harry, it disturbs me when I think how much Margaret Rudolph is wrapped up in all this.
Yes, sir.
I can't believe that I made love to a sociopath.
Wouldn't be the first time, sir.
If I had the logbook, I could show you.
Genital.
That's seven letters, um, so that's 50 points right there.
And it's on a triple word and the G is doubled.
So that's 87 points.
- Oh! - Damn it! I hope you don't mind I used a sort of dirty word.
Oh, not at all.
I love the word genital.
I guess it's been on my mind since Martin told me he's in the oral stage of development, but still has the genital and anal stages to go through.
I know, it's a lot of work for him, but it will be worth it when he graduates.
I agree.
Do you think his hair looks better free-range the way it is now - or with a center part? - Free-range.
His face is so beautiful, it needs no adornment.
Again, I agree with you.
We are very like-minded.
Guys, can we please keep playing? I have really good letters.
[stammers.]
No looking.
Where's Rafe? Hey, what is it, Harry? Oh, I'm just thinking about Sylvia, Major.
I've stitched up my heart, but the wound is infected with regret and self-accusation and longing Oh, here's Rafe now.
- What did the doctor say? - I'm fine.
I've been on a beet juice cleanse to drop weight.
That's why my stool was red.
I never made the connection.
That's good news, Rafe.
So how is Dr.
Rudy? Well, he's a little odd.
He claims to be a great womanizer.
Really? Mmm, yeah.
[moaning.]
[exhales.]
Oh, wow.
Right? - Wow? - Oh.
That that's it? We got a hotel room for a tryst and you lasted one minute.
How long did you last with Celia? Have you ever seen the movie Blade Runner? WALTER: Mr.
Arbogast? Oh, shit.
Oh, my God.
- Good lord.
- What happened to him? Looks like his head's been bashed in.
Oh, something like this could have done it.
No, Harry, put that down! [screams.]
[shrieks.]
Oh, he seemed so alive and and strange just a few hours ago.
Oh, my God, sir.
The logbook.
He died clutching the logbook.
They'll think I killed him.
- We must call the police.
- What? No, no, we can't.
We've been framed.
My my prints are all over the murder weapon.
Oh, will these hands ne'er be clean? Harry, pull yourself together.
You're not Lady Macbeth.
The police will sort this out.
The LAPD? Are you kidding? - I'm an illegal alien.
- You are? Yes! They'll have me on the gallows in no time.
We've got to get out of here! Harry! Harry! Harry! Harry! Harry, stop! I'm calling the police.
- Stop, police! - [screams.]
I don't understand.
I haven't even dialed.
Someone must have tipped them off.
[elevator door opens.]
Oh, shit! Gentlemen, I'm very happy that you're here.
We received a call, Mr.
Blunt.
Yes, I was about to call you myself.
No, no, we're gonna have to bring you in for questioning.
He's dead, all right.
Cuff both of them.
No, that won't be necessary.
[groans.]
I can explain everything.
Ah! You won't cage me! [grunting.]
- Harry! [groans.]
- Hey, easy with the old man.
Don't put your hands on me.
- [grunts.]
- Rafe! [sighs.]
- Celia? - Yes, Jim? Today you said you were still too confused to get back together, but you don't have to be confused about me.
Yeah, I know, Jim.
What exactly are you confused about? [sighs.]
Everything.
Who I am.
What I want.
Where I'm going.
Why I'm here.
- Mmm.
- Sex.
Love.
Babies.
Death.
Ooh! Checkmate.
Oh, damn it.
I like being friends.
Yeah, it's great.
[exhales.]
[moaning.]
Try counterclockwise.
Oh, okay, yeah.
[moaning.]
Shelly, I'm sorry, my wrist is killing me.
- Okay.
- It's been, like, 45 minutes.
Just a little longer.
[moaning.]
I have surgery tomorrow and I really need this hand.
If I'm paying for half of this hotel room, I want to come.
You came.
I'll pay for the whole room.
[huffs.]
[both grunt.]
I cannot believe that Walter blew off our rehearsal dinner.
Ah! Ah! He probably is just having a hard time letting you go, honey.
I I couldn't let you go.
- [huffs.]
Maybe you're right.
- Ah! But I'm still pissed at him! [stammering.]
Ah! I love it when you're mad at Walter.
I'm Walter! I'm Walter! - How much do you love it? - I love you! - Tell me.
- I'm Walter! Ah! Good night, Rosalie.
Good night, Rosalie.
Good night, Rosalie.
Good night, Rosalie.
I feel like my heart can hold both of you, but am I going to be punished for being so happy? Yes, Martin, we're all gonna be punished.
It's a cycle of life.
So let's just enjoy this while it lasts.
You're very wise.
[sighs.]
[camera clicking.]
Cupid must be angry That's all I can say How else to explain Why he's gone away I've been praying He'll come back So fervently But Cupid Must be angry With me I know I've had it comin' Cause I've blown his every plan He must have said, I've had it With this foolish man And Cupid, don't be angry With me Cupid, must be angry Angry, angry with me Whoa, whoa, whoa