Cow and Chicken (1997) s02e07 Episode Script
Sumo Cow
1
Mama had a chicken. ♪
Mama had a cow. ♪
Dad was proud, he didn't care how. ♪
Cow! ♪
Chicken! ♪
Cow and Chicken! ♪
Cow? Chicken?
Why are you eating like pigs?
We gotta get big and strong
by today's sumo wrestlin' tryouts!
Our star wrestler, Dick,
sprained his thingie.
Oh, my sucker!
I broke my spleen!
Which of you is next?
I am, Mister!
Why you gotta be here, Cow?
Wrestlin' ain't for little girls.
You are next!
Today is a big match between
our school and our arch enemies.
One of you
is gonna be our next star Sumo Wrestler.
Let's see what ya got!
Flem here is modeling a pair
of powder blue perkies.
Walk, walk, turn.
Cut for comfort and styled
for maneuverability.
This is the happiest moment of my life.
I don't want to be a Sumo Wrestler.
What are ya?
A bunch of panty wastes?
Put some muscle into it!
Cow!
Get out there and show 'em how it's done!
Cow!
You are our new star wrestler!
Hey, why does she get to be the wrestler?
Chicken, your sister's perfect for wrestlin'.
She's so big and fat!
I couldn't swing Cow around like this.
I couldn't slam Cow around like this.
And I certainly couldn't turn Cow
inside out, like this.
She's too big and fat.
All right, you know the rules!
The first fat guy to knock the other
fat guy out of the circle - wins!
And the winner is Cow!
Come on, blast you!
You you Cow!
Why won't you
Yay!
Yay!
Sorry.
We're gonna be big,
fat and immobile, Cow!
Dang, we lost!
We got beat by a girl!
You wrestlers bite big-winged.
Oh, yeah?
I won a trophy!
Run, or she'll stand near you
and make bad things happen!
Did you see
what Suzie was wearin' in math?
Yeah. Talk about bisecting angles.
Hey, girls?
It's about time you coughed up
the dough you's owed me.
Is that a fact?
You and what army?
That's right, hand it over!
Hello, Flem and Earl.
Run for your life! It's killer Cow!
Hey, there, Sugar?
This seat taken?
Hey! That's my chick, and that's my seat!
And that's my sister!
Like I was sayin', she's Chicken's chick.
I don't want to mess with no cow.
Give me the freakin' money, loser!
Hello, loser.
Back off!
Geez. Give me some room to extort here!
Go on! I'll call ya's if I need ya's.
Oh, how precious! A baby!
Do what you want to me,
but leave my Mamie alone!
I'm a freak! A freak!
Random specimen testing!
All wrestlers need to squirt a sample
in the cup!
If you win, Cow,
no one will ever beat me up again!
They'll be too scared of you's.
That is what I am afraid of.
There's BGH in this!
Bovine Growth Hormone!
You are disqualified!
Banned from wrestling.
Now and retroactively,
you cannot wrestle today,
yesterday or three years ago!
I can never wrestle again!
I can never wrestle again!
No more, no more, wrestling fairy princess!
Hey, Ed?
Oh, Cow?
Could you, please beat the ugly
out of these two guys for me?
Oh, no can do, Big Brother!
I can never beat the ugly
out of nobody ever again!
How's your beak doing, Big Brother?
It'll heal.
Stupid Bovine Growth Hormone!
What is the big deal?
I have been eating this stuff for months
and it hasn't affected me.
Why did I have to open my big pie hole?
Mama had a chicken. ♪
Mama had a cow. ♪
Dad was proud, he didn't care how. ♪
Cow! ♪
Chicken! ♪
Cow and Chicken! ♪
Cow? Chicken?
Why are you eating like pigs?
We gotta get big and strong
by today's sumo wrestlin' tryouts!
Our star wrestler, Dick,
sprained his thingie.
Oh, my sucker!
I broke my spleen!
Which of you is next?
I am, Mister!
Why you gotta be here, Cow?
Wrestlin' ain't for little girls.
You are next!
Today is a big match between
our school and our arch enemies.
One of you
is gonna be our next star Sumo Wrestler.
Let's see what ya got!
Flem here is modeling a pair
of powder blue perkies.
Walk, walk, turn.
Cut for comfort and styled
for maneuverability.
This is the happiest moment of my life.
I don't want to be a Sumo Wrestler.
What are ya?
A bunch of panty wastes?
Put some muscle into it!
Cow!
Get out there and show 'em how it's done!
Cow!
You are our new star wrestler!
Hey, why does she get to be the wrestler?
Chicken, your sister's perfect for wrestlin'.
She's so big and fat!
I couldn't swing Cow around like this.
I couldn't slam Cow around like this.
And I certainly couldn't turn Cow
inside out, like this.
She's too big and fat.
All right, you know the rules!
The first fat guy to knock the other
fat guy out of the circle - wins!
And the winner is Cow!
Come on, blast you!
You you Cow!
Why won't you
Yay!
Yay!
Sorry.
We're gonna be big,
fat and immobile, Cow!
Dang, we lost!
We got beat by a girl!
You wrestlers bite big-winged.
Oh, yeah?
I won a trophy!
Run, or she'll stand near you
and make bad things happen!
Did you see
what Suzie was wearin' in math?
Yeah. Talk about bisecting angles.
Hey, girls?
It's about time you coughed up
the dough you's owed me.
Is that a fact?
You and what army?
That's right, hand it over!
Hello, Flem and Earl.
Run for your life! It's killer Cow!
Hey, there, Sugar?
This seat taken?
Hey! That's my chick, and that's my seat!
And that's my sister!
Like I was sayin', she's Chicken's chick.
I don't want to mess with no cow.
Give me the freakin' money, loser!
Hello, loser.
Back off!
Geez. Give me some room to extort here!
Go on! I'll call ya's if I need ya's.
Oh, how precious! A baby!
Do what you want to me,
but leave my Mamie alone!
I'm a freak! A freak!
Random specimen testing!
All wrestlers need to squirt a sample
in the cup!
If you win, Cow,
no one will ever beat me up again!
They'll be too scared of you's.
That is what I am afraid of.
There's BGH in this!
Bovine Growth Hormone!
You are disqualified!
Banned from wrestling.
Now and retroactively,
you cannot wrestle today,
yesterday or three years ago!
I can never wrestle again!
I can never wrestle again!
No more, no more, wrestling fairy princess!
Hey, Ed?
Oh, Cow?
Could you, please beat the ugly
out of these two guys for me?
Oh, no can do, Big Brother!
I can never beat the ugly
out of nobody ever again!
How's your beak doing, Big Brother?
It'll heal.
Stupid Bovine Growth Hormone!
What is the big deal?
I have been eating this stuff for months
and it hasn't affected me.
Why did I have to open my big pie hole?