Faking It (2014) s02e07 Episode Script

Previously on "Faking It" Shrimp girl? I feel lucky every day I'm with you.
I feel like I'm the lucky one.
I'm not out yet, so I have to keep things discrete.
- Right.
- Can I get your number? I think we should go out.
You can't kiss me the way that you did and then mix signals.
Why can't you admit that you like me? Fine.
I like you.
- I kind of met someone.
- Tell me everything.
I feel like I haven't seen you in 20 years.
Can we do a girls' night on Saturday? I can't.
Reagan and I are going to Communal, that super trendy new restaurant where you share everything.
But you hate sharing.
I know, and yet I'm weirdly looking forward to it.
'Cause you're going with Reagan, your new girlfriend.
Shut up.
She's not my girlfriend.
Right.
Well, when do I get to meet this non-girlfriend? Ooh, let's make Communal a double date.
As fun as that sounds, it's it's only been two weeks.
We're not at that stage of meeting the friends yet, and it's it's definitely too soon for a double date.
Okay, I get it.
I just miss you.
Can we do dinner tonight? Let me guess, plans with Reagan? - We're going bowling, I'm sorry.
- Don't be sorry for me.
You're the one who has to wear rented shoes.
But you've at least told her all about me, right? Are you serious? I've told her tons about you.
I'm always like, "Karma this, Karma that.
" She can't wait to meet you, and she will as soon as I decide I really like her.
- I really like you.
- I really like you too.
Shh.
I don't think my mom heard us.
Would it be so terrible if she did? Uh, she would put bars on the windows, no more sneaking in.
Well, we can't have that, can we? Uh - To be continued.
- Okay.
My friends can't stop texting me, saying how much they loved meeting you tonight and not just because you're a shockingly good bowler.
I won't lie, I have thought about getting my own ball.
Do it.
But you set the bar too high.
When I meet your friends, I'm really gonna have to bring my a-game.
You do have friends, right? You haven't mentioned any.
Did you kill them all? Just want to ask that up front.
Of course I have friends.
They're busy studying.
Midterms.
Besides, I want you all to myself.
S02E07 Date Expectations Uncle! Uncle, Uncle.
Role play, I like it.
Okay, "a," if you knew my Uncle, you'd know that's gross.
And, "b," I gotta run.
I have meditation first period, and my teacher's a real bitch if you're late.
Can't you just skip class? Tempting, but I need the sunlight.
I've spent so much time in your closet, my vitamin D levels are dangerously low.
Look, Shane, I really like you, but We can't be seen together in public, I know.
I really like you too.
I just wish we could spend time together out in the real world.
I want to introduce you to my friends.
And I want to meet them too, but I can't risk anyone knowing I'm gay.
What if we have a group hang? We'll tell everyone you're my trainer.
They won't suspect a thing.
I don't know.
That sounds risky.
So risky, it'll be hot.
Yeah, we'll have to sneak off to the bathroom for a quick training sesh.
Hmm? - Let's do it.
- Yeah? I'll set it up for Saturday night.
Please hang out with me and my trainer Saturday, please? Why do you want me to hang out with your trainer so badly? Because if we all hang out and he sees how cool you are, he might train me in front of other people more often.
You're not trying to drag him out of the closet, are you? No, I don't do that anymore.
But if my trainer just pops out once he has dinner with my cool, open-minded friends, would that be so terrible? Even if I did support this, I can't do Saturday.
Amy has a date with Reagan, so I have a date with Karma.
Can't we smush all these dates together? I promised Duke a group hang.
As fun as that sounds, apparently Reagan is off-limits.
- Karma hasn't even met her.
- Hey, guys.
- You haven't met Reagan yet? - Amy says it's too soon.
She's asked me to give her space in her dating life, and I'm totally fine with it.
Really? Well, sure, the longer I don't meet Reagan, the more I worry she's gonna harvest Amy's organs.
But I'm mostly sure she isn't.
So I'm just gonna give Amy space until she's ready to introduce us.
All right, I gotta run to the studio.
Let me know where you wanna go on Saturday, okay? Okay.
Have to say, not so sure if this whole "giving Amy space" plan is the right move.
What do you mean? I mean that while you're off giving her space, Reagan could be burrowing herself deeper into Amy's love nest.
Lesbians move fast, and they are viciously territorial.
Amy would never date anyone like that.
Are you messing with me? Fine, if you think being a former fake lesbian makes you an expert on the gay community, go ahead, take your chances.
Or you could coincidentally show up on their date Saturday and show Reagan that when it comes to Amy, you are the free gift with purchase.
I don't know.
Amy says it's too soon for double dates.
I tell you what.
My trainer and I will come along too.
Then it's a group hang.
Amy didn't say anything about group hangs, did she? Technically, no.
I'm trying.
I'm trying.
I need more time.
I gotta go.
Lauren, hi.
What are we doing? Excuse me? We kissed.
Then you rescued me from my accidental ecstasy overdose.
Now we have lunch semi-regularly, and you send me texts with playful emojis.
What are we doing? - Um, I well, I - Today, please.
Look, I like you, Lauren, but I'm not looking for anything serious.
Well, who said I'm looking for anything serious? Especially with you.
I don't even know if you're boyfriend material.
So to figure that out, you're taking me to dinner Saturday to someplace nice.
You lose points if it's a chain restaurant.
Namaste.
Welcome to Communal.
Here's this evening's prix fixe menu.
All dishes are communal, just like your table.
So how does this work? You bring me a dish, and I eat it all myself? No, here at Communal, we encourage a communal dining experience.
Oh.
Okay.
So we get this table all to ourselves? No, it's communal dining.
Communal? What is this place called again? Oh, this is great.
Food and making fun of people are my favorite things.
Hey, hey, hey.
What is up? Shane, what are you doing here? Just a night out with Duke, my personal trainer.
Funny, I almost brought my dentist.
Shane and I usually just hang out at the gym, you know, as trainer and client.
But he invited me to this group hang.
- Group hang? - Oh, my God, Amy.
- What a coincidence.
- Let me guess.
- Group hang? - So fun.
I was just telling Amy I wanted to meet her friends.
You were? She did the whole meet and greet with my friends.
Seems only fair.
Sorry, I didn't catch your name.
Oh.
I'm Karma.
Nice to meet you, Carmen.
Karma.
Karma.
Here you are, last two seats in the house.
You get an "A" for location and an "F" for clientele.
Amy? Can I see you in the bathroom? I don't really need to go.
Amy, she has no idea who I am.
I feel like an idiot.
You weren't supposed to be here.
You were supposed to give me space.
You lied to me.
She has no clue I exist.
I didn't know how to tell her.
We're best friends, we're insanely close, and, oh, yeah, oh, I was in love with you.
Was? I-it's great we're getting past that.
I know, and it's because of Reagan.
I really like her, and I didn't want to scare her away.
I was gonna tell her eventually, like around when we would get a joint checking account.
We've always said our friendship comes first.
Can we start over? I think you two would really like each other.
If you really like her, I'm sure I'll like her too.
Where do I know you from? Yeah, I know, I was thinking that as well.
Do you go to Hester? No.
Do you go to lesbian karaoke? That's a thing? It's like normal karaoke, only everyone sings Pink.
Hmm.
Prix fixe menu.
Perfect.
I'm giving you a B-plus.
This is at least an A-minus menu.
Not that I care, because I'm not trying to be your boyfriend.
Time for the questions round.
Please answer the following questions about your family's medical history.
- Any heart disease? - No.
High blood pressure? Now, when they bring out the dishes, start with the leans and greens to achieve your fitness goals.
Isn't this a fun group hang? Aren't my friends great? Yeah, they seem really nice.
They are nice and open-minded and accepting.
You want me to come out to your friends.
That's why we're here, isn't it? Don't be ridiculous.
I'm your trainer tonight.
That's it.
Stop picking at that bread.
Now I remember.
That's it! You're son of Skwerkel.
I catered that engagement party! Uh Hey! - Hey, Karma's back.
- I'm back.
And, Reagan, I'm so excited to get to know you.
- Tell me everything.
- Maybe not everything.
It's so funny.
I just realized I met Liam Oh, at this table! Uh, yeah, yes.
Great times.
I can't wait for more.
- No, Amy.
Remember the party? - What party? Uh, Reagan mentioned she was from San Antonio.
Uh, Karma and I went on a field trip to San Antonio in fourth grade.
I don't think Reagan wants to hear about that.
Oh, but we had such a good time in San Antonio.
Remember? Remember the Alamo? I'm guessing you went to the Alamo.
Uh, no.
Seaworld.
Yeah, but the bus forgot Sam Alamo.
Which taught us an important lesson.
Remember the Alamo.
It seems like you guys go pretty far back.
Can't believe you never mentioned her once, Shrimp girl.
Um, that's that's my nickname.
She calls me that because I-I love shrimp.
Yeah.
I know you love shrimp.
And we do go back.
Way, way back.
To kindergarten.
If you thought that Sam Alamo story was good, you should hear about the time we dyed our hair with kool-aid.
My mother couldn't handle raising me alone, so she left me on the steps of her church in a basket with a note "Please take care of my baby boy.
" And that's how I became - the son of a preacher man.
- Really? No, not really.
You are not taking this seriously.
You're not respecting my boundaries.
Everyone, it's time for the communal experience.
Now, when deciding what to eat, I want you to think lean - And green.
Yeah, I know.
- That's adorable.
My ex and I used to finish each other's sentences.
Oh, we're not together.
I'm his trainer.
Yep, I'm just working on my fitness.
What do you think, Victor? Is he good at his job? I think he's quite skilled.
What? If this is just business, we can flirt with whoever we want, right? We sure can.
Excuse me, I'm sorry.
I heard what's going on here, and I just wanted to say, if I were lucky enough to be on a date with you, I would tell you anything you wanted to know.
Why, thank you.
It's so nice to finally be appreciated, especially by someone so rugged.
And then it took three years to grow back.
I'm sorry.
I've been hogging the mic.
Reagan, tell me how you two met.
- Well, Amy and I - Um, Karma, look.
- Mushrooms! - Let me guess.
You guys have some special thing about mushrooms.
Not exactly a special thing, but it's just, I hate mushrooms, and Amy loves them.
Why don't you try some of this kale, Amy? Oh, no.
Amy hates kale.
Luckily, she has all these mushrooms.
It's funny.
Amy's never mentioned mushrooms before, so how much could she really love them? Trust me.
Amy loves mushrooms.
- Kale could never compare.
- Experiment with both.
I just think everyone should eat what's in front of them - and not share anything.
- He's right.
Everyone should leave other people's dishes alone.
There's nothing wrong with changing your mind once you've already ordered.
We should all try the kale.
It's full of antioxidants.
Yum.
Mmm, so good.
- I'm glad I tried this.
- I knew you'd like it.
- Kale's a fad food.
- Uh, excuse me? I can't hear you over all the kale chewing.
This must have been cooked in peanut oil, and Amy's allergic.
Oh, God.
I had no idea! - I'll call 911.
- I don't think she can breathe.
- Oh, I bet Duke can handle this.
- I can handle it.
There.
All better.
Do you want some mushrooms? Reagan, where are you going? Where am I going? Amy, yesterday I had no idea you had any friends at all.
But apparently, you have this best friend, Karma, who you share tons of history with and who carries your epipen! So to answer your question, I'm going home.
I'm sorry.
I didn't know how to tell you.
There's no need to get territorial.
- Amy can have a best friend.
- I'm territorial? I'm surprised you haven't peed on her yet.
You act more like a jealous ex than a best friend.
Well, she kind of is.
Did you not tell her? W I cannot keep track of who knows what anymore.
You two were a couple? No! Sort of.
We were faking being lesbians to be popular.
- Good save.
- You were a fake lesbian? No, no, no.
Karma was faking it.
I-I, um You're in love with her.
That's it.
I'm leaving.
It's okay.
If she can't handle our relationship, then maybe it's not meant to be.
Do you want some dessert? They have homemade doughnuts.
She doesn't want doughnuts.
She wants Reagan.
- Amy loves doughnuts.
- Karma, we get it.
You know all of Amy's favorite foods, but can't you see that she's really into Reagan? You can fix this, but you've gotta go and stop her.
You're right.
No, Karma.
Karma, this isn't about you.
- You need to give them space.
- You don't understand.
Check, please.
Butterscotch budino, on the house.
Well, that's so nice of you.
I'm gonna have to give you a big tip.
- You want to get out of here? - I thought you'd never ask.
No way.
I brought her here.
I'm taking her home.
You know I'm a black belt in four martial arts, right? I'm a black belt too, in ass whupping.
Aw! You passed the test.
- You can totally be my boyfriend.
- What about Duke? Oh, he's obviously gay and on a date with Shane.
- I think you hit a nerve.
- Mm, it's what I do.
Group hang, awesome.
- Reagan, don't go.
- Sorry, Shrimp girl.
Life's too short to chase someone who's chasing someone else.
I'm not in love with Karma anymore.
Then why didn't you tell me about her? And why did you freak out when I tried to tell her about us? I'm sorry, I can't do this if Karma's gonna be lingering in the background.
She won't be, I promise.
Look behind you! What are you doing here? I just wanted to explain.
Look, Reagan, we've been best friends since Karma, I've got this.
I'm just trying to help.
Well, you're not.
You're making things worse.
Please leave.
I should have told you about Karma.
My feelings for her are complicated, we have a past, but but I want a future with you.
But she's right, she's always gonna be a part of my life, and you've gotta be okay with that if you're gonna be my girlfriend.
I mean if you if you wanna be.
Well, you did almost die for me, and It'd be rude to turn you down.
You didn't have any of that kale, did you? No.
Please tell me you're not picturing my head as you do that.
Look, I'm sorry, okay? Yeah, I pushed too far.
I told you from the beginning I'm not coming out.
Why can't you accept that? Why can't you accept that you're gay and it's okay? - There's no shame.
- I'm not ashamed of being gay! Yes, you are.
You're just in denial about it.
See, this is why I don't date closet cases.
Because it's an emotional minefield.
- Shane.
- Look.
I'm willing to make an exception and help you through this, but you have to let me.
Shane, I'd love to kiss you in the middle of Times Square, but I can't! It's not about being ashamed.
I've known I was gay since I was 11.
But I've known I've wanted to be a pro MMA fighter since I was in preschool.
It's weird, I know that too.
A little.
But I believe it's what I was put on this earth to do.
And I'm so close, I can taste it.
I just have to land some sponsorships.
And then you'll come out? I can't promise you that.
This is my dream come true.
I can't risk throwing it away.
Though for you, I-I almost want to.
I don't want to lose this.
But if you can't deal, I understand.
I'm sorry again.
I just wanted to help Amy move on.
Yeah, well, maybe she's not the one who needs to.
- What does that mean? - You seriously don't get it.
Okay, so maybe I got a little carried away with the whole kale thing.
It's just that Shane told me how territorial lesbians can be, and I was worried that Reagan was trying to push me out.
Shane manipulated you, so we'd go on a group hang with his - Trainer.
- Oh.
You just can't stand the thought that one day, Amy might love someone as much as she loves you.
I want Amy to be happy, just like I'm happy with you.
You sure about that? 'Cause sometimes I wonder if I'm the one you want to be with.
What? Of course you are.
You let your parents think that you're still with Amy.
I have to drop you off down the street.
I mean, I thought this was supposed to be our fresh start.
It was.
It it is! Then why does it still feel like Amy is your girlfriend and I'm second best? That isn't fair.
Maybe not, but it's true.
Good night, Karma.
Do you really want to be with me? I need to show him how much he means to me.
I decided to come out to my parents and tell them Liam's my boyfriend.
Look who's back from saving African children! Zen.
I've always dreamed of having a daughter I could share the pageant experience with.
I'm gonna show my mom that I can win that crown.
All these private sessions are starting to pay off.
Oh!