Felicity s02e07 Episode Script
Getting Lucky
Previously on "Felicity" - Let's go away for the weekend.
- Ben, I can't.
What, is it work? Maggie.
Your husband's on line one.
- What's up with new guy? - David? I'm calling him "new guy.
" I'm actually really confused about things with new guy.
I probably should have told you, too that Noel and I well, we used to go out.
My big concern has been that I'm just not ready to trust someone again.
Dear Sally So, I've met someone someone who's had a real effect on my life.
He's mysterious.
I dont know where he's from or what his name is.
But I'm calling him Lucky.
The whole thing started with David.
Since our first kiss, tings between us have been great.
I'll see you later? Definitely.
Anyway.
That morning I was on my way back from David's when I saw him.
He was absolutely the saddest thing I' d ever seen.
But he was friendly and sweet.
And he didn't have a collar.
So I took him.
I didn't know what else to do.
What the hell is that? I was walking back from David's, and I found him.
- Isn't he so cute? - Cute for a what? - Can we come in? - I don't know.
What kind of diseases are you gonna track in here? - I'm sure he doesn't have any diseases.
- Not him, you.
I told you, it wasn't mono.
I had the flu.
Youre not gonna catch anything.
And what do you mean, walking back from David's? Are you spending the night there? Last night, first time.
Look, he feels at home here.
He likes it.
OK.
I already know what youre thinking and let me preempt your plan.
There's not a chance in the world that I am adopting a retarded dog.
- Get down from there! - Wait.
Here.
I'll get him.
Come here, Lucky.
Get down, you sweetie.
So, did you score? No, I didn't score.
We're just I don't know.
We're not in a hurry.
Like tonight, he just wants to stay home and rent a movie.
- Oh, that's it.
- That's what? - Sex! - You think? Its code.
Universal code.
I mean.
You go out for a while, a dinner, a movie, and then the rental.
Hey.
Oh, my God! Felicity claims it's a dog.
I just found him today and he's got the sweetest disposition.
I mean, he just needs a little love.
Oh, it's amazing.
He looks just like Woofie, my neighbor's dog in Boston.
I loved Woofie.
I mean, I was allergic as hell.
Two minutes with Woofie, and My eyes would puff up.
My face would break out.
My windpipe would just, like, shut down.
Oh.
I guess he wants the tour.
I love this.
You know, they say you outgrow your allergies and I have.
I finally get to play with Woofie.
Come here, Woofie.
Come on.
Oh, you like Look, I'm going to put up a few signs make sure no one's looking for him but could he stay here until I find a place for him to live? He can't stay at the dorm.
How come your good deed turns into my good deed? It'll just be for a few days.
It's up to Noel.
Noel, is it OK if the dog stays here for a few days? I' m not sure.
You know, I think I still might be a little allergic.
*** OK, Lucky, this is your doctor, and she's gonna clean you up.
Come on, fella.
Let's go.
So, you excited? No.
I'm nervous.
I don't know what to do with him.
Well, you can always get another sex book.
- I was talking about the dog.
- So was I.
No, I'm just kidding.
Tonight's the night.
Youre gonna score.
Why is it that all you ever think about is my sex life? Because I don't have one and because it's your first time.
Excuse me second time.
Yeah, but it's your first time with a guy you actually know.
So.
That was the plan.
I guess.
David and I were going to rent a movie and you know, score.
The one thing standing in the way I had to find a place for Lucky.
Elena's was out.
The dorm was out, but I had an idea.
Javier was great.
He said yes with one catch.
Lucky had to meet Mami.
- So, does she - Shh! Mami's mulling it over.
She needs time to adjust.
Hey! What are you doing here? I went over to Tower and rented us some movies.
Shh! Keep your voices down.
Mami's concentrating.
So.
How's this going? Is he going to take him? The verdict's still out.
Oh.
Good luck.
- I'm gonna get some work done.
- OK.
- See you later.
All right.
No.
Look at Mami.
She's upset with me.
What? She's insulted that I would even consider this.
- She doesn't look insulted.
- She's pissed now! Look! So you don't want Lucky.
I do, but Mami doesn't, OK? Look at me when you talk to me.
All right.
What am I gonna do with you, Lucky? Hey! Oh.
Wow.
He's a stray, and he needs a place to stay for a couple of days.
Would you take him? Yeah, sure, I'll take him.
- Seriously? - Yeah! - Because it's only for a couple of days.
- Oh, yeah, why not? I haven't had a dog since I was 10.
Hokey, a cockapoo.
Oh, man, that was a dog.
Unbelievable.
It was a great little dog.
Hey.
Oh.
Lucky.
Dont do that.
Put that down.
Lucky.
No, uh OK, I don't think this is going to work.
Got it.
I feel so guilty.
She's so mad with me.
She'll be fine.
Felicity doesn't hold grudges.
No, not her.
Mami.
- Mami? - Yes! She hates me now.
I'm very psychical with animals, Ben.
Really? - I know what they're feeling sometimes.
You know? - Yeah.
I can't go to the zoo.
You know, it's horrible.
Like that Dr.
Eliza Doolittle.
No, that's "My Fair Lady.
" I love that.
* Just you Wait.
Henry Higgins.
Just you Wait * Would you excuse me for a second, Javier? Tsk.
Benjamin.
What's going on? - Can I get you anything? - No.
I wanted to see you.
Well, I'm working so if you want a coffee or something What if I told you I was still interested? I don't I don't understand.
Yes, you do.
Maggie, come on.
Ben, if youre not interested, just tell me to go away.
Benjamin.
Coming.
Have you seen my pink shirt? I swear I put it in the wash.
- It's not a cheap shirt, either.
- Oh, my God.
The dog ate it.
What? You've lived here this long, never knew we had a dog? - What? - I'm kidding.
Felicity brought over a stray dog and he was just really attracted to your shirt.
It was weird.
I haven't even worn this yet.
Got a special occasion tonight? I have a date a guy named Seven.
Seven? Seven's his name? Yeah, I know.
What is he, a Borg? He's cute.
I don't know.
I met him at the Cafe Habana.
He's a poet.
Oh, well, have fun.
I'm gonna have sex, Jack.
What? Me and my friend used to say that.
It's from a movie.
Somebody says, "Have fun," and somebody else says "I'm gonna have sex, Jack.
" Oh, yeah.
What movie is Wait, wait.
- Oh, God, it's familiar.
- Oh, God.
Yeah, it's Ohh, "I'm gonna have sex, Jack.
" - Wait, you know it.
- Yeah, it's, um - Oh, come on.
- OK, wait a second.
Wait a second.
- "I'm gonna have sex, Jack.
" - "I'm gonna have sex, Jack.
" This is gonna drive me crazy.
So things were looking desperate.
Lucky was homeless.
And it was already dark out but then someone came to the rescue the man I was about to score with.
He can stay here.
Really? Sure.
Until you find a permanent place for him.
That is so amazing of you.
Finally, I'm getting Lucky.
- Is that the only reason youre taking him? - So I can make that bad joke? Yes.
I ordered dinner from Boulez.
And we can watch whichever movie you want.
* Follow you here * * whisper sweet in my ear * * I'm falling in love * * with those stars above * I have a condom.
Wait, wait.
* If you don't take me home tonight * I'm sorry.
we hadn't talked about this.
Is it too soon? No, no, no.
It's It's Lucky.
- To have a condom? - Lucky, the dog.
He's He's staring at us.
And it's just freaking me out.
Really? Yeah.
I'm sorry.
I just can't have sex with him watching us.
Done.
What are you going to do? OK, just stay.
Good.
There.
You cant just leave him in there.
It's comfortable, like his own little condo.
He'll be fine.
- OK? - Mm-hmm.
* Let songs of love begin * * who will hold me when I cry? * * Love this way.
And I * Do you hear that? That whining? No.
* Take me home tonight * Yeah, that really sounds like he needs to go out for a walk.
Just a minute.
- Do you want to come with me? - Sure.
Some air would be nice.
So we didnt have sex that night, because well.
Because of the dog, which was actually OK with me.
And that night all of us slept really soundly.
You didnt have sex because of the dog? He was, uh, he was watching us.
He's a dog.
Then put him somewhere where he can't see.
He was whining.
Look, there are a zillion dog owners in this country and they all manage-- To score.
I know, I know.
Can we just not talk about this? You don't want to have sex with him, do you? No.
Of course I do.
And youre using this mutt as an excuse to avoid it.
No, I'm not.
It makes perfect sense given your issues with sex.
Oh, my God.
- I do not have issues with sex.
- OK.
I don't! Then why didn't you ever do it with Noel? You dated him for almost a year.
- Because I wasn't ready.
- Interesting.
And what about Ben? And with Ben, I didn't have sex because I also - wasn't fully prepared.
- Exactly.
Sean? Turkey.
What? What? "48 Hrs.
" - What? - "Have fun.
" And then Eddie Murphy says, "I'm gonna have sex, Jack.
" Oh, yeah, "48 Hrs.
" I just remembered that in my dream.
Has that ever happened to you? So is your date here? No! Oh, my God.
So, it was Your date, it wasn't good? No, it was good.
It was OK.
Oh, good.
- Hey.
- Hey.
What are you doing up so early? I just went for a run.
You got a second? Yeah.
Do you mind giving us a couple minutes? No.
I'm going to go back to bed.
Turns out Maggie Maggie's married.
Which is crazy.
I mean, what am I gonna do, break up a marriage? You know, but she must be really unhappy, though so part of me feels like, who cares, right? And then I can't believe I'm thinking like that.
You know? Hey, Sean.
Sean! Sean I need some advice here.
Oh, dude, I'm sorry.
I'm a little I'm like I'm preoccupied right now.
- What's going on? - No, I'm just distracted.
Can we talk about this when I'm not when I'm OK? - Sean, I'm just freaking out here.
- OK, we'll talk about it.
- OK.
- All right.
I'm sorry.
How I became an R.
A.
who breaks the rules she's supposed to be enforcing.
I dont know.
OK.
I'm going to set you down right there, all right? OK.
Hey, that is a pathetic-Iooking dog.
Listen, I have a favor to ask you.
Me, too.
You go first.
I have a date tonight with David.
It's very important to me and it absolutely can't be interrupted by this dog and there's nowhere else for him to stay.
Could you please, and I would owe you enormously watch him for a half-hour now so I can go get him some food and then dog-sit him tonight? I'm begging you.
- Sure.
- What? Really? Yeah, no problem.
Seriously? Wait.
What's your favor? Can I borrow your computer? - Uh, apparently.
- Thanks.
I've got, uh "homework.
" OK, Lucky, I'm going to go but Meghan is going to take care of you, OK? And I'll be right back.
You just relax.
- His name's Lucky.
- I don't care.
OK.
Bye.
Hey.
Hi.
If my being here gives you the impression of stalking, I apologize.
I just want to cut to the chase, if possible.
Don't want to play games.
Don't feel like going back to high school.
I just want to be clear about this.
What do you mean? I, um I want to have an affair with you.
I'm an adult.
I understand and accept the implications of that.
The real risk is mine.
I won't bore you or involve you with the details of my marriage.
I promise you that.
Youre giving me a credit card? No.
That's the key to Room 1125 at Dakota Hotel.
And if I don't see you tonight, I will never ask you out again.
But, uh I do hope to see you.
Where's Lucky? I don't know.
- I think he went for a walk or something.
- He went for a walk? - I think he had to go pee.
- What is he supposed to do, pee in the hallway? He's not peeing in here.
Lucky? Lucky? Lucky? What are you guys doing? We're feeding it beer.
What? You can't give a dog beer! Do you know how sick he'll get? - Come here.
- No.
I like your butterfly tattoo.
What? It's not my only one.
So I couldnt find a place for Lucky which I figured was an omen I wasnt supposed to have sex.
Of course, Elena thought I was avoiding so she insisted on keeping the dog for the night with one condition that I actually have sex.
Hey, he's back! Elena! What? What? - Look what he's doing! - Lucky! Lucky.
So we agreed to watch this dog, why? Uh, Felicity had to go to the library.
Oh, great.
She's going out.
Does she have a short-term memory problem? Look, have you ever heard of dander? My trachea is in the process of closing.
Oh, my God! Get away from there! Did you want that house to have a pool? This condom has an alarm on it.
That's my beeper.
- Do you really need to look at it? - I'm sorry.
It's just for emergencies.
It's Elena.
The thing is, she has Lucky.
Do you mind if I use your phone? - Sorry.
It'll just be a second.
- No.
Please take your time.
Hello.
Hi! Yeah, I hate to bother you, but your dog just bit me! Lucky bit you? Oh.
Great.
I would really appreciate it if you could come take away this potentially rabies-infected freak of nature.
I'll be I'll be right over.
Youre not at the library, are you? Um no.
Youre at David's? Yeah, but I'll be right over.
No, no, um forget it.
No, no, no.
I'll come get him.
No, no, no.
Just stay, OK? - He bit your finger.
- It's fine.
It's Look, it's just a little flesh wound.
Noel, I' m coming over.
No.
Look, I don't want you to.
Look, just give me All right.
He wants me to come get the dog.
Right now? Yeah.
I guess the bite's pretty bad.
OK.
I'm sorry.
Cujo here? - He's at David's.
- Good.
You know, it's so nice to come home to your own house, and not be attacked by a dog.
- Ask Noel.
- Ask Noel what? I'm not talking to him about this.
Why? He's got firsthand experience with it.
Felicity's sex issues.
Don't say "oh" like you understand.
- Oh, I understand.
- No, you don't.
I'll leave you two alone.
I'm not talking to you about this.
Elena's, you know, making a much bigger deal of it than it really is.
Is this about last night? It's complicated.
So you and.
Uh.
Ahem.
David havent.
You know Have you and Ruby? So my advisee's healthier than I am.
Youre not unhealthy.
Youre a romantic, you know, which is what I love most about you.
Look, you want sex to mean something, and it should.
Yeah.
Something.
I put so much importance on it that it never ends up happening as you know.
Look, I'm actually I'm actually glad that it never happened between us.
What? Well, for example, Ruby.
Um, I like her a lot, but and I don't want to go into detail, but it was nice.
But afterwards I knew.
Knew what? What it was like to be with her.
Not that I like her any less.
It's just that I don't know.
The mystery's gone.
But with You and me Hello? Hold on a second.
It's David.
Hey.
what's up? He is? Oh, my God.
No.
I' II come get him right now.
Lucky's sick.
- Really? - Yeah, he's not eating anything.
For how many people? Yes, we're definitely available.
I do everything flowers, food, rentals, bar.
Do you have our price sheet in front of you? How much do you want to spend per plate? That's nice.
It's really nice.
The pepper seared ahi tuna with crispy baby spinach.
Yes, that's fantastic.
All right.
Uh.
In a ponzu sauce.
OK, thanks.
You like being with him.
Right? Yeah.
Of course.
David he's great.
Well, then just be with him.
Don't put so much pressure on yourself.
I can't help it.
I mean especially now that I know I'm secretly avoiding sex.
- Well, it's all my fault.
- No, it's not.
I'm the one who pointed it out in the first place.
OK, youre right.
It is your fault but only partly.
I'm still the one with the problem.
Lucky! How is he? I'm afraid I have some bad news.
Your dog has distemper.
- What? - It's a viral infection of the brain.
Uh, how expensive is the treatment? Unfortunately, there is none.
It just continues to worsen.
Your choices are either to let the disease run its course which is very painful for the animal or to put him down.
Oh, my God.
I'm sorry.
OK, close your eyes.
Close your eyes.
OK.
All right.
Just a little more.
OK, look.
That's the largest one they had.
It's big enough for 10 Luckys, so he'll be extra comfortable.
And more importantly, so will we.
That's great.
What's wrong? I'm just, uh, not in the best mood.
- OK.
- Forget about it, though.
Am I doing something wrong? - No.
- Because I'm getting the distinct feeling you don't want to be here.
David, it's not No, I do.
I just - Uh, Lucky You know, first, it's that he watches us.
Then he makes too much noise.
Then he bites your ex-boyfriend's finger.
Felicity, how many more times are you going to turn me down because of this dog? If it's that you don't want to be here then just say it, because this excuse is getting old.
- It's not an excuse.
- It sure feels like it.
What do you want me to do, put a dog back out on the street? I offered to keep it here.
I feed it.
I take it on walks.
I spent 90 bucks on that crate.
- So, what, I owe you? - No.
My point is that I am making every effort to make this work, and youre not.
You know what? Youre right.
I'm not.
I obviously shouldn't be here.
Good morning.
Good morning.
Thanks for letting me stay here last night.
No problem.
I'm getting used to it.
How's he doing? He was in pain all last night.
He wouldn't even play with Mister Gorilla.
So I think I'm gonna do it.
I'll go with you if you want.
That'd be good.
I'll get everything ready and give you some time alone with him.
Thank you.
Youre such a good boy, Lucky a good, good boy.
He wasn't that good.
He must have had a tough life being alone nobody to love you.
May I come in? Yeah.
Hey.
- David.
Hey.
- Hi, Noel.
I'm gonna go.
My respiratory system's about to shut down, so I'll call you later.
Thanks for everything.
I spoke with Elena, and she told me you were here.
Yeah, unfortunately.
I wish you had told me about this last night.
Are you ready? I guess so.
Youre a good boy.
Good, good boy.
Good boy.
Good boy.
Good boy.
That poor dog.
I'm going to cry.
Javier, come on.
Please, don't cry, OK? I' m sorry.
You know.
I'm very emotional.
I'm not like you.
I'm not this brute, you know.
- I have emotions.
- Right.
Youre an animal psychic.
I forgot about that.
It's, you know, Mami didn't like him, but he was a sweetie pie, you know? Yeah, I could tell that from our first meeting.
I knew it.
I knew, but Mami, "No, I don't like him.
" It's OK.
Excuse me? Guys.
I'd like to order a cake.
Yeah.
Javier? Javier, I'm going to go to the back.
No, no, I'm going to the back, compose myself a little bit - splash some water or something.
- Javier, why don't you take care of this customer, all right? It'll take your mind off things, OK? No, I can't deal with people now, OK? I mean, look at me.
I'm all flushing.
I'm all emotional.
I'm crimson.
So, what is it you wanted? A cake.
A cake? Well, what kind of cake? Well, my wife, Maggie Sherwood, she's a caterer.
- She uses you guys all the time.
- Yeah.
- She says you make an amazing berry cake.
- Yes.
Yeah.
I figure since it's for our anniversary she should have some say in it, right? - It's your anniversary? - Yeah, and can you decorate it for me? You want me to decorate it? well, someone because I'd like to have a butterfly put on it you know, in frosting.
- A butterfly.
- Yeah.
Yeah.
She loves them.
OK, sure.
We can do that.
All right, terrific.
It's so quiet.
Yeah.
Kind of Ionely.
You were right.
I was using the dog as an excuse.
I've slept with, uh one other person before, and it was only one time.
I mean, I barely even knew him.
I've never done it with someone I cared about.
So anyway it would have been my first time if we would have.
Before I met you I didn't even want to get involved with anyone and now I'm spending time with someone I really care about.
I don't know how this is going to go between us.
Neither of us does.
But right now, we have a very good thing and I don't want to screw that up.
Neither do I.
So if youre not ready, then we shouldn't do it.
- Really? - Really.
Thank you.
This is better.
we can just - enjoy ourselves.
- Yeah.
* Do you hear me * - Just without all the pressure.
we can just let things happen when they happen.
That sounds good.
* Could you see it coming * * Like an avalanche * * I only felt the need * What about now? * when somebody turns you on * Now? * It's like a light in the dark * * Goes on * - Yeah.
Now.
* Its like youve waited for rain * * Waited so long * * Till somebody turns you on * Like I said Lucky had a profound effect on me and on my relationship with David.
Here you go.
So how'd it go last night? I mean, aside from the dog.
You mean, me and David? - It was good.
- Good.
Is it gone? What? The mystery.
Noel, come on.
What? what's that smile? Nothing.
Uh It's It's just that now you and I have something that you and David don't.
* I know this is real * * I know, 'cause I know, 'cause I feel * * Your eyes go straight to my soul * * And I know this is good * * It goes deep like I know it should.
Yeah * * we've just got to let love grow.
Ooh * * If somebody turns you on * * Its like a light in the dark * ***
- Ben, I can't.
What, is it work? Maggie.
Your husband's on line one.
- What's up with new guy? - David? I'm calling him "new guy.
" I'm actually really confused about things with new guy.
I probably should have told you, too that Noel and I well, we used to go out.
My big concern has been that I'm just not ready to trust someone again.
Dear Sally So, I've met someone someone who's had a real effect on my life.
He's mysterious.
I dont know where he's from or what his name is.
But I'm calling him Lucky.
The whole thing started with David.
Since our first kiss, tings between us have been great.
I'll see you later? Definitely.
Anyway.
That morning I was on my way back from David's when I saw him.
He was absolutely the saddest thing I' d ever seen.
But he was friendly and sweet.
And he didn't have a collar.
So I took him.
I didn't know what else to do.
What the hell is that? I was walking back from David's, and I found him.
- Isn't he so cute? - Cute for a what? - Can we come in? - I don't know.
What kind of diseases are you gonna track in here? - I'm sure he doesn't have any diseases.
- Not him, you.
I told you, it wasn't mono.
I had the flu.
Youre not gonna catch anything.
And what do you mean, walking back from David's? Are you spending the night there? Last night, first time.
Look, he feels at home here.
He likes it.
OK.
I already know what youre thinking and let me preempt your plan.
There's not a chance in the world that I am adopting a retarded dog.
- Get down from there! - Wait.
Here.
I'll get him.
Come here, Lucky.
Get down, you sweetie.
So, did you score? No, I didn't score.
We're just I don't know.
We're not in a hurry.
Like tonight, he just wants to stay home and rent a movie.
- Oh, that's it.
- That's what? - Sex! - You think? Its code.
Universal code.
I mean.
You go out for a while, a dinner, a movie, and then the rental.
Hey.
Oh, my God! Felicity claims it's a dog.
I just found him today and he's got the sweetest disposition.
I mean, he just needs a little love.
Oh, it's amazing.
He looks just like Woofie, my neighbor's dog in Boston.
I loved Woofie.
I mean, I was allergic as hell.
Two minutes with Woofie, and My eyes would puff up.
My face would break out.
My windpipe would just, like, shut down.
Oh.
I guess he wants the tour.
I love this.
You know, they say you outgrow your allergies and I have.
I finally get to play with Woofie.
Come here, Woofie.
Come on.
Oh, you like Look, I'm going to put up a few signs make sure no one's looking for him but could he stay here until I find a place for him to live? He can't stay at the dorm.
How come your good deed turns into my good deed? It'll just be for a few days.
It's up to Noel.
Noel, is it OK if the dog stays here for a few days? I' m not sure.
You know, I think I still might be a little allergic.
*** OK, Lucky, this is your doctor, and she's gonna clean you up.
Come on, fella.
Let's go.
So, you excited? No.
I'm nervous.
I don't know what to do with him.
Well, you can always get another sex book.
- I was talking about the dog.
- So was I.
No, I'm just kidding.
Tonight's the night.
Youre gonna score.
Why is it that all you ever think about is my sex life? Because I don't have one and because it's your first time.
Excuse me second time.
Yeah, but it's your first time with a guy you actually know.
So.
That was the plan.
I guess.
David and I were going to rent a movie and you know, score.
The one thing standing in the way I had to find a place for Lucky.
Elena's was out.
The dorm was out, but I had an idea.
Javier was great.
He said yes with one catch.
Lucky had to meet Mami.
- So, does she - Shh! Mami's mulling it over.
She needs time to adjust.
Hey! What are you doing here? I went over to Tower and rented us some movies.
Shh! Keep your voices down.
Mami's concentrating.
So.
How's this going? Is he going to take him? The verdict's still out.
Oh.
Good luck.
- I'm gonna get some work done.
- OK.
- See you later.
All right.
No.
Look at Mami.
She's upset with me.
What? She's insulted that I would even consider this.
- She doesn't look insulted.
- She's pissed now! Look! So you don't want Lucky.
I do, but Mami doesn't, OK? Look at me when you talk to me.
All right.
What am I gonna do with you, Lucky? Hey! Oh.
Wow.
He's a stray, and he needs a place to stay for a couple of days.
Would you take him? Yeah, sure, I'll take him.
- Seriously? - Yeah! - Because it's only for a couple of days.
- Oh, yeah, why not? I haven't had a dog since I was 10.
Hokey, a cockapoo.
Oh, man, that was a dog.
Unbelievable.
It was a great little dog.
Hey.
Oh.
Lucky.
Dont do that.
Put that down.
Lucky.
No, uh OK, I don't think this is going to work.
Got it.
I feel so guilty.
She's so mad with me.
She'll be fine.
Felicity doesn't hold grudges.
No, not her.
Mami.
- Mami? - Yes! She hates me now.
I'm very psychical with animals, Ben.
Really? - I know what they're feeling sometimes.
You know? - Yeah.
I can't go to the zoo.
You know, it's horrible.
Like that Dr.
Eliza Doolittle.
No, that's "My Fair Lady.
" I love that.
* Just you Wait.
Henry Higgins.
Just you Wait * Would you excuse me for a second, Javier? Tsk.
Benjamin.
What's going on? - Can I get you anything? - No.
I wanted to see you.
Well, I'm working so if you want a coffee or something What if I told you I was still interested? I don't I don't understand.
Yes, you do.
Maggie, come on.
Ben, if youre not interested, just tell me to go away.
Benjamin.
Coming.
Have you seen my pink shirt? I swear I put it in the wash.
- It's not a cheap shirt, either.
- Oh, my God.
The dog ate it.
What? You've lived here this long, never knew we had a dog? - What? - I'm kidding.
Felicity brought over a stray dog and he was just really attracted to your shirt.
It was weird.
I haven't even worn this yet.
Got a special occasion tonight? I have a date a guy named Seven.
Seven? Seven's his name? Yeah, I know.
What is he, a Borg? He's cute.
I don't know.
I met him at the Cafe Habana.
He's a poet.
Oh, well, have fun.
I'm gonna have sex, Jack.
What? Me and my friend used to say that.
It's from a movie.
Somebody says, "Have fun," and somebody else says "I'm gonna have sex, Jack.
" Oh, yeah.
What movie is Wait, wait.
- Oh, God, it's familiar.
- Oh, God.
Yeah, it's Ohh, "I'm gonna have sex, Jack.
" - Wait, you know it.
- Yeah, it's, um - Oh, come on.
- OK, wait a second.
Wait a second.
- "I'm gonna have sex, Jack.
" - "I'm gonna have sex, Jack.
" This is gonna drive me crazy.
So things were looking desperate.
Lucky was homeless.
And it was already dark out but then someone came to the rescue the man I was about to score with.
He can stay here.
Really? Sure.
Until you find a permanent place for him.
That is so amazing of you.
Finally, I'm getting Lucky.
- Is that the only reason youre taking him? - So I can make that bad joke? Yes.
I ordered dinner from Boulez.
And we can watch whichever movie you want.
* Follow you here * * whisper sweet in my ear * * I'm falling in love * * with those stars above * I have a condom.
Wait, wait.
* If you don't take me home tonight * I'm sorry.
we hadn't talked about this.
Is it too soon? No, no, no.
It's It's Lucky.
- To have a condom? - Lucky, the dog.
He's He's staring at us.
And it's just freaking me out.
Really? Yeah.
I'm sorry.
I just can't have sex with him watching us.
Done.
What are you going to do? OK, just stay.
Good.
There.
You cant just leave him in there.
It's comfortable, like his own little condo.
He'll be fine.
- OK? - Mm-hmm.
* Let songs of love begin * * who will hold me when I cry? * * Love this way.
And I * Do you hear that? That whining? No.
* Take me home tonight * Yeah, that really sounds like he needs to go out for a walk.
Just a minute.
- Do you want to come with me? - Sure.
Some air would be nice.
So we didnt have sex that night, because well.
Because of the dog, which was actually OK with me.
And that night all of us slept really soundly.
You didnt have sex because of the dog? He was, uh, he was watching us.
He's a dog.
Then put him somewhere where he can't see.
He was whining.
Look, there are a zillion dog owners in this country and they all manage-- To score.
I know, I know.
Can we just not talk about this? You don't want to have sex with him, do you? No.
Of course I do.
And youre using this mutt as an excuse to avoid it.
No, I'm not.
It makes perfect sense given your issues with sex.
Oh, my God.
- I do not have issues with sex.
- OK.
I don't! Then why didn't you ever do it with Noel? You dated him for almost a year.
- Because I wasn't ready.
- Interesting.
And what about Ben? And with Ben, I didn't have sex because I also - wasn't fully prepared.
- Exactly.
Sean? Turkey.
What? What? "48 Hrs.
" - What? - "Have fun.
" And then Eddie Murphy says, "I'm gonna have sex, Jack.
" Oh, yeah, "48 Hrs.
" I just remembered that in my dream.
Has that ever happened to you? So is your date here? No! Oh, my God.
So, it was Your date, it wasn't good? No, it was good.
It was OK.
Oh, good.
- Hey.
- Hey.
What are you doing up so early? I just went for a run.
You got a second? Yeah.
Do you mind giving us a couple minutes? No.
I'm going to go back to bed.
Turns out Maggie Maggie's married.
Which is crazy.
I mean, what am I gonna do, break up a marriage? You know, but she must be really unhappy, though so part of me feels like, who cares, right? And then I can't believe I'm thinking like that.
You know? Hey, Sean.
Sean! Sean I need some advice here.
Oh, dude, I'm sorry.
I'm a little I'm like I'm preoccupied right now.
- What's going on? - No, I'm just distracted.
Can we talk about this when I'm not when I'm OK? - Sean, I'm just freaking out here.
- OK, we'll talk about it.
- OK.
- All right.
I'm sorry.
How I became an R.
A.
who breaks the rules she's supposed to be enforcing.
I dont know.
OK.
I'm going to set you down right there, all right? OK.
Hey, that is a pathetic-Iooking dog.
Listen, I have a favor to ask you.
Me, too.
You go first.
I have a date tonight with David.
It's very important to me and it absolutely can't be interrupted by this dog and there's nowhere else for him to stay.
Could you please, and I would owe you enormously watch him for a half-hour now so I can go get him some food and then dog-sit him tonight? I'm begging you.
- Sure.
- What? Really? Yeah, no problem.
Seriously? Wait.
What's your favor? Can I borrow your computer? - Uh, apparently.
- Thanks.
I've got, uh "homework.
" OK, Lucky, I'm going to go but Meghan is going to take care of you, OK? And I'll be right back.
You just relax.
- His name's Lucky.
- I don't care.
OK.
Bye.
Hey.
Hi.
If my being here gives you the impression of stalking, I apologize.
I just want to cut to the chase, if possible.
Don't want to play games.
Don't feel like going back to high school.
I just want to be clear about this.
What do you mean? I, um I want to have an affair with you.
I'm an adult.
I understand and accept the implications of that.
The real risk is mine.
I won't bore you or involve you with the details of my marriage.
I promise you that.
Youre giving me a credit card? No.
That's the key to Room 1125 at Dakota Hotel.
And if I don't see you tonight, I will never ask you out again.
But, uh I do hope to see you.
Where's Lucky? I don't know.
- I think he went for a walk or something.
- He went for a walk? - I think he had to go pee.
- What is he supposed to do, pee in the hallway? He's not peeing in here.
Lucky? Lucky? Lucky? What are you guys doing? We're feeding it beer.
What? You can't give a dog beer! Do you know how sick he'll get? - Come here.
- No.
I like your butterfly tattoo.
What? It's not my only one.
So I couldnt find a place for Lucky which I figured was an omen I wasnt supposed to have sex.
Of course, Elena thought I was avoiding so she insisted on keeping the dog for the night with one condition that I actually have sex.
Hey, he's back! Elena! What? What? - Look what he's doing! - Lucky! Lucky.
So we agreed to watch this dog, why? Uh, Felicity had to go to the library.
Oh, great.
She's going out.
Does she have a short-term memory problem? Look, have you ever heard of dander? My trachea is in the process of closing.
Oh, my God! Get away from there! Did you want that house to have a pool? This condom has an alarm on it.
That's my beeper.
- Do you really need to look at it? - I'm sorry.
It's just for emergencies.
It's Elena.
The thing is, she has Lucky.
Do you mind if I use your phone? - Sorry.
It'll just be a second.
- No.
Please take your time.
Hello.
Hi! Yeah, I hate to bother you, but your dog just bit me! Lucky bit you? Oh.
Great.
I would really appreciate it if you could come take away this potentially rabies-infected freak of nature.
I'll be I'll be right over.
Youre not at the library, are you? Um no.
Youre at David's? Yeah, but I'll be right over.
No, no, um forget it.
No, no, no.
I'll come get him.
No, no, no.
Just stay, OK? - He bit your finger.
- It's fine.
It's Look, it's just a little flesh wound.
Noel, I' m coming over.
No.
Look, I don't want you to.
Look, just give me All right.
He wants me to come get the dog.
Right now? Yeah.
I guess the bite's pretty bad.
OK.
I'm sorry.
Cujo here? - He's at David's.
- Good.
You know, it's so nice to come home to your own house, and not be attacked by a dog.
- Ask Noel.
- Ask Noel what? I'm not talking to him about this.
Why? He's got firsthand experience with it.
Felicity's sex issues.
Don't say "oh" like you understand.
- Oh, I understand.
- No, you don't.
I'll leave you two alone.
I'm not talking to you about this.
Elena's, you know, making a much bigger deal of it than it really is.
Is this about last night? It's complicated.
So you and.
Uh.
Ahem.
David havent.
You know Have you and Ruby? So my advisee's healthier than I am.
Youre not unhealthy.
Youre a romantic, you know, which is what I love most about you.
Look, you want sex to mean something, and it should.
Yeah.
Something.
I put so much importance on it that it never ends up happening as you know.
Look, I'm actually I'm actually glad that it never happened between us.
What? Well, for example, Ruby.
Um, I like her a lot, but and I don't want to go into detail, but it was nice.
But afterwards I knew.
Knew what? What it was like to be with her.
Not that I like her any less.
It's just that I don't know.
The mystery's gone.
But with You and me Hello? Hold on a second.
It's David.
Hey.
what's up? He is? Oh, my God.
No.
I' II come get him right now.
Lucky's sick.
- Really? - Yeah, he's not eating anything.
For how many people? Yes, we're definitely available.
I do everything flowers, food, rentals, bar.
Do you have our price sheet in front of you? How much do you want to spend per plate? That's nice.
It's really nice.
The pepper seared ahi tuna with crispy baby spinach.
Yes, that's fantastic.
All right.
Uh.
In a ponzu sauce.
OK, thanks.
You like being with him.
Right? Yeah.
Of course.
David he's great.
Well, then just be with him.
Don't put so much pressure on yourself.
I can't help it.
I mean especially now that I know I'm secretly avoiding sex.
- Well, it's all my fault.
- No, it's not.
I'm the one who pointed it out in the first place.
OK, youre right.
It is your fault but only partly.
I'm still the one with the problem.
Lucky! How is he? I'm afraid I have some bad news.
Your dog has distemper.
- What? - It's a viral infection of the brain.
Uh, how expensive is the treatment? Unfortunately, there is none.
It just continues to worsen.
Your choices are either to let the disease run its course which is very painful for the animal or to put him down.
Oh, my God.
I'm sorry.
OK, close your eyes.
Close your eyes.
OK.
All right.
Just a little more.
OK, look.
That's the largest one they had.
It's big enough for 10 Luckys, so he'll be extra comfortable.
And more importantly, so will we.
That's great.
What's wrong? I'm just, uh, not in the best mood.
- OK.
- Forget about it, though.
Am I doing something wrong? - No.
- Because I'm getting the distinct feeling you don't want to be here.
David, it's not No, I do.
I just - Uh, Lucky You know, first, it's that he watches us.
Then he makes too much noise.
Then he bites your ex-boyfriend's finger.
Felicity, how many more times are you going to turn me down because of this dog? If it's that you don't want to be here then just say it, because this excuse is getting old.
- It's not an excuse.
- It sure feels like it.
What do you want me to do, put a dog back out on the street? I offered to keep it here.
I feed it.
I take it on walks.
I spent 90 bucks on that crate.
- So, what, I owe you? - No.
My point is that I am making every effort to make this work, and youre not.
You know what? Youre right.
I'm not.
I obviously shouldn't be here.
Good morning.
Good morning.
Thanks for letting me stay here last night.
No problem.
I'm getting used to it.
How's he doing? He was in pain all last night.
He wouldn't even play with Mister Gorilla.
So I think I'm gonna do it.
I'll go with you if you want.
That'd be good.
I'll get everything ready and give you some time alone with him.
Thank you.
Youre such a good boy, Lucky a good, good boy.
He wasn't that good.
He must have had a tough life being alone nobody to love you.
May I come in? Yeah.
Hey.
- David.
Hey.
- Hi, Noel.
I'm gonna go.
My respiratory system's about to shut down, so I'll call you later.
Thanks for everything.
I spoke with Elena, and she told me you were here.
Yeah, unfortunately.
I wish you had told me about this last night.
Are you ready? I guess so.
Youre a good boy.
Good, good boy.
Good boy.
Good boy.
Good boy.
That poor dog.
I'm going to cry.
Javier, come on.
Please, don't cry, OK? I' m sorry.
You know.
I'm very emotional.
I'm not like you.
I'm not this brute, you know.
- I have emotions.
- Right.
Youre an animal psychic.
I forgot about that.
It's, you know, Mami didn't like him, but he was a sweetie pie, you know? Yeah, I could tell that from our first meeting.
I knew it.
I knew, but Mami, "No, I don't like him.
" It's OK.
Excuse me? Guys.
I'd like to order a cake.
Yeah.
Javier? Javier, I'm going to go to the back.
No, no, I'm going to the back, compose myself a little bit - splash some water or something.
- Javier, why don't you take care of this customer, all right? It'll take your mind off things, OK? No, I can't deal with people now, OK? I mean, look at me.
I'm all flushing.
I'm all emotional.
I'm crimson.
So, what is it you wanted? A cake.
A cake? Well, what kind of cake? Well, my wife, Maggie Sherwood, she's a caterer.
- She uses you guys all the time.
- Yeah.
- She says you make an amazing berry cake.
- Yes.
Yeah.
I figure since it's for our anniversary she should have some say in it, right? - It's your anniversary? - Yeah, and can you decorate it for me? You want me to decorate it? well, someone because I'd like to have a butterfly put on it you know, in frosting.
- A butterfly.
- Yeah.
Yeah.
She loves them.
OK, sure.
We can do that.
All right, terrific.
It's so quiet.
Yeah.
Kind of Ionely.
You were right.
I was using the dog as an excuse.
I've slept with, uh one other person before, and it was only one time.
I mean, I barely even knew him.
I've never done it with someone I cared about.
So anyway it would have been my first time if we would have.
Before I met you I didn't even want to get involved with anyone and now I'm spending time with someone I really care about.
I don't know how this is going to go between us.
Neither of us does.
But right now, we have a very good thing and I don't want to screw that up.
Neither do I.
So if youre not ready, then we shouldn't do it.
- Really? - Really.
Thank you.
This is better.
we can just - enjoy ourselves.
- Yeah.
* Do you hear me * - Just without all the pressure.
we can just let things happen when they happen.
That sounds good.
* Could you see it coming * * Like an avalanche * * I only felt the need * What about now? * when somebody turns you on * Now? * It's like a light in the dark * * Goes on * - Yeah.
Now.
* Its like youve waited for rain * * Waited so long * * Till somebody turns you on * Like I said Lucky had a profound effect on me and on my relationship with David.
Here you go.
So how'd it go last night? I mean, aside from the dog.
You mean, me and David? - It was good.
- Good.
Is it gone? What? The mystery.
Noel, come on.
What? what's that smile? Nothing.
Uh It's It's just that now you and I have something that you and David don't.
* I know this is real * * I know, 'cause I know, 'cause I feel * * Your eyes go straight to my soul * * And I know this is good * * It goes deep like I know it should.
Yeah * * we've just got to let love grow.
Ooh * * If somebody turns you on * * Its like a light in the dark * ***