Foursome (2016) s02e07 Episode Script

1 Previously on Foursome.
Emotions were in the air.
I wanna go on a date again.
Dating yourself is the tits.
The tits.
Imogen and Dakota almost killed each other over a teacher of the month competition.
Slap, slap, slap, slap.
And I had a threesome with my brother.
Ew, not what you think.
He crashed a date with Kent and me, but thankfully, I handled it like a rockstar.
Thank god for second chances.
Maybe we should try hanging out again.
This is a date, right? Abso-bloody-lutely.
No, seriously, sweetheart, it's more than peach fuzz, okay? I got a girl.
I'll put you guys in touch.
Love you, okay.
- Hi - Hey.
How are you? Oh, this pit stain on poms, Girsten, refuses to bleach her beard.
Whatever, it's fine, I'll just bench her till she caves.
Yeah.
It's a good idea, totally.
So later, I was thinking we could go all Ricky Martin, drip hot candle wax on my bod.
What? Ugh, whatever, fine, you're so white bread.
We can just 96.
Yeah, sure.
So I got gym class, so.
Okay.
Got to go, bye.
Take care.
Take care? Andie Fixler.
We need a change of flavor.
Come to an Escape Room with me tonight.
I have been so nice lately, and I really wanna see some bitches panic.
Plus moms gave me a coupon.
Like I'm gonna let some strange men lock me in a themed room.
I get enough of that at Uncle George's house.
What was that? They let you out after an hour.
Courtney, you in? Huh? I got another sting on Honey Bee.
If you're not gonna listen, I'm going to inspect.
Hey! Andie, look at this.
Oh.
Courtney, every single guy you honeycomb with looks exactly like Alec.
Oh, it's Clone High.
Nuh-uh, not one of these guys has long enough hair to flip.
Let me see.
No, no.
Ooh, what about this guy? He's got a rat.
Not really my type.
Your type was a walking fist.
Yeah.
I really miss that fist.
You need to date the opposite of Alec.
Hey, what are you doing? No one knows opposite day more than homeschooled.
Imogen, you are now officially in charge of Courtney's Honey Bee account.
Ooh! Ooh, a podiatrist, score.
I hate feet! Trust.
So what do you say? Escape Room? What's up, whores? Hopefully, I'm not interrupting anything important.
Nah, you know.
You're a fun sidekick.
Pass these out.
Move your face.
Grier's slumber slut fest? It's a sleepover, twats.
My house, tonight.
Why? Well, Josh and I are bang buddies, so I figured I should get to know his friends a little bit better.
He sees fun things in you guys, so I obviously can't wait to figure out what they are.
Oh, we'd opposite of love to, but none of us wants to get the clap from sitting on your sofa.
So, so sorry about it.
Besides, we're doing the Escape Room tonight.
Ooh, bust-o, Dakota, you must have fast forwarded.
The invite says girls only.
Ooh, a bully who adheres to gender norms, how 2004 of you.
I'm in.
I've never been invited to a friend's house before.
Well, except for Andie's.
And no offense, Andie, but Alec makes your house smell specific.
She means balls.
Imogen, you traitor! She's in charge of my Honey Bee.
If she goes, I go.
Courtney! Actually, I'm in too.
Andie.
Aces.
GPS the tits outta my address, and I'll see you hookers after school.
Oh, don't forget to gander at the back of that invite, okay? Outtie, five thousie, mwah.
Come PB&J it, pretty baller jammies.
God, she's so stupid.
Just tell us to wear pajamas.
She's stupid? You dumdums ditched me for her? Don't be grouchy.
Do I look like I live inside of a trashcan? I'm peeved, betrayed maybe.
But grouchy, that's some cartoon bullshit.
Dakota, I just need an excuse to hang out with Kent tonight.
New Andie is gonna demand a redo date, and Alec is totally gonna buy a slumber party.
He's buying and you're selling, selling out.
Grier's only hot because she's the devil.
She's really pretty.
That's the only thing you took away from that sentence? Okay, I know her better than you.
Ooh, I wonder if she has a sink.
That would be so good.
She's picking the person I get to have sex with? Now I'm grouchy.
No, Courtney, no! Good one, guys.
The old throw away the teacher's wallet.
A perfectly good apple? Mmm.
You like to think you're so, so, so Buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, big diamond Hey, Saydak.
Ooh, I'm not sure if I pulled that off.
Kent.
Fixler, Andie's friends.
Moral support.
It's okay, guys, I got this.
So I was thinking maybe we try this date thing again, this time with only one Fixler.
You mean just me and Alec, right? You keep making jokes like that, maybe.
I was actually going to ask you the same question at lunchtime.
You snooze, you lose.
Anyway, I'm gonna go to Grier's for like an hour as a cover for Alec.
We can meet up after, okay? Yeah, more than okay.
Since you have some time to kill, come to an Escape Room with me tonight.
Karma.
Yeah, yeah, I'd love to.
I love Escape Rooms.
Okay, see you later.
WTF, D? Relax, we're doing each other a favor.
You'll know where he'll be, and I'll be locked in a room with that hunk of man meat.
Agreed if you make sure that Alec knows I'm sleeping at Grier's tonight.
Why would I do that? Because you're a good friend.
Fine, Alec has gym this period, so he's in the locker room with a bunch of naked dudes.
Wait, make sure you hit these points.
Hmm, you were right, man.
This lavender body butter really makes my skin feel plush.
Yeah, I told you, boss.
Treat yourself after you beat yourself.
Dakota, what are those? What? It's called a dong pouch.
You know how kangaroos keep their baby inside their stomachs? It's like that.
Are you buying one right now? No.
Extra small dong pouch shipped.
Andie is going to a sleepover tonight.
It's at Grier's, only girls, no boys allowed.
Andie's going to Grier's? Yeah, she is, all night.
She'll be at Grier's with only girls, all night.
Sounds like a cluck fest.
Hey, Dakota, I was wondering, should I drive tonight? Because I don't wanna leave you stranded when I I'll drive.
Drive? Where? Are you guys hanging out tonight or what? Us? No, we're just going to an Escape Room.
I'm in, bro.
No, no, you can't.
I mean I only have a coupon for two, so y'all bitches are gonna have to pay your own way.
Yeah, and it's really expensive.
So expensive.
Hey, why would Andie go and sleep at Grier's? You know, girls being girls, pillow fights, lip gloss.
Lip gloss.
French fries.
French fries.
You know, women.
Hey, well, you know what? Count me in for the Escape Room because I'm pretty good at figuring things out.
Hey, real quick, what is an Escape Room? You know what? Doesn't matter, I've escaped every room I've ever been in.
Watch this.
Yeah, that stuff gonna scare off a lot of freshmen.
Ew.
- Ooh.
- Whoa.
Hey, hey, hey, put that down.
What are you doing? Whose house are you at? Here.
Thank you.
We appreciate this.
Okay, so where's my weed? Marijuana, we're sober now.
Then why did I just hand you money? Because you're a nice person.
No, I brought you here because you always have the drugs.
Check your rectums.
You keister bitches always hide your stash.
I'm worried that you might have a drug problem.
No, back up.
My only problem is that you swamp lips don't have any weed for me to drug my guests with.
Now I'm gonna have to shove wine coolers down their GD swallow sticks and trick them into admitting they're whores who have been hooking up with my boyfriend.
I'm sorry, have you smoked weed before? Because that's not what happens.
I hate your personalities.
You guys are the worst, and I understand why you have to do drugs.
Consider that cash your employment fee.
Now sit the frick down.
Sit the frick down.
Sit the frick down and help me crack this.
You're all sane people accused of being mental runaway patients.
You have one hour to escape before Dr.
Slivonky Amagavich, he return, he perform lobotomy, pull your brain through your nostrils.
Do not move the furniture.
Yes, do not break anything, okay? Good luck.
Ain't no doctor eating my brains out.
Dude, may I remind you that we're actually not in any danger whatsoever.
You know what? Why don't you go and check and see if some of those tools are clues.
Clues.
There's no reception.
Don't worry, it's only an hour.
Ow! Yo, some of these are real, bruh.
- Ooh.
- Oh, my god.
Damn.
Okay, Dakota.
Already on it.
Ow.
I'll be right here watching bitches panic.
You guys have been a really good help so far.
I'm just gonna be over here making sure that your boy doesn't bleed out.
So Andie sleeping at Grier's.
They hate each other.
Spill it.
I don't know what you're talking about.
Look, Grier can be really rough, man.
I care about Andie.
Oh, you do? You show it like a bitch.
Okay, you know what? It's complicated.
Come on, tell me.
I'll call Grier.
Do you want me to do that? Grier isn't using Andie.
Andie's using Grier as a cover.
Cover for what? Hey, hey, I found a clue.
I don't say nothing, so I got no reason not to enjoy this.
Are you remodeling? My sister wanted a bigger closet.
She used my room to expand.
Sad info.
Thank you guys so much for being here.
I've planned some phat activities that are sure to be hella enlightening.
Chug, chug, chug.
Up first, spirit board.
What was wrong with him? His shirt says, "Party like it's sherbert day," and there's an image of sherbert.
That's Alec.
That's sexy.
We are going to chug every time the spirit answers us.
I'll go first.
Andie, why don't we go together seeing as we have so much in common? Okay.
Is someone trying to steal something from me? A N D - I - Okay, clearly, you're moving it.
No, I'm not, the spirit is.
Don't be scared, hon, just take another sip.
Sip, sip, sip, sip, sip, sip.
Okay, I'm gonna let somebody else play.
Oh! Am I gonna break my sobriety tonight? Yes.
Still no reception.
Is this a clue? It's just drywall, Alec.
I'll keep looking then.
Hang on, there's some writing on this prescription pad.
Oh, you seem like you're kind of in a rush to get outta here.
I didn't catch where you and Dakota were gonna go after this.
Oh, this shit's better than a movie! No, I don't think we're gonna be doing anything.
I think we're just gonna go our separate ways after we bust outta here.
Yeah, no, that makes sense.
You've probably had your fair share of your real dates this week.
Guys, I'm stuck.
I don't know what you're talking about.
About Alec joining you and Andie on your date.
Yeah, he told me his version of the story.
It was pretty easy to connect the dots after that.
Don't worry, man, I'm not Alec.
I'm not gonna narc on you.
You should be careful, because he's pretty involved in her business, and he's eventually gonna find out.
I did.
Well, thanks for the heads up, man, appreciate it.
I'm free.
It's time for telephone, which is a completely normal thing for a 17-year-old to suggest.
Telephone, that's what I used to play instead of using actual cellphones because radiation.
No one could get a hold of me.
To keep this game fresh and fly, my rule is if you get the message wrong, you drink.
Andie, why don't you start at the end of the line? I feel like backdoor whispers are kind of your thing.
I'll start.
Andie Fixler is a boyfriend stealer.
Andie Fixler is a boyfriend Candy Mixer is a toy land squealer.
Jesus, are you guys fucking deaf? I mean, you lose.
Drink.
Ooh, he has suspenders.
That says everything.
It says, "I still live with my mom.
" Oh, he's perfect.
Oh, what's this? I didn't realize Grier had friends, but seeing what snitches and twats you all are, it makes sense.
Guys, meet my little sister, Quinn.
Things are finally starting to make sense for me.
I'm just gonna step aside and make a phone call really quick.
Oh, no, no, don't forget to take your coolers.
You still have to down two of those, remember? No, thanks.
My sister said chug it, whore.
Hey, it's Kent Saydak.
Just leave a message.
They're my boyfriend's friends.
Your boyfriend sounds like a fruit.
Five minutes left, which means it's time for a nude scene.
Take off them shirts.
If you're not gonna panic, you're gonna get pantsless.
Let's do this! Yeah.
Oh.
What? It shut him up, didn't it, right? Hey, Josh, why don't you put the code from the prescription pad into the safe? Yeah.
I got a key.
That's my boy, ha-ha.
I solved it, Brah.
You and your sister have a knack for busting doors.
Great, now we're stuck.
Real life Escape Room! Down, down, down.
Ooh, I have a stomachache.
Then stop losing.
Yeah, I think I'm done with the wine coolers.
It's like no alcohol and all sugar, plus I have wine mouth.
Perfect, well, then it's time for our final game, never have I ever.
I lose.
Never have I ever No one cares, Betty Ford.
I'll go.
Never have I ever hooked up with my sibling's best friend.
Fine, I hooked up with Girsten, okay? I'm sorry.
What? Girsten, she slept over and she went to get a drink of water late at night, and it just happened.
I didn't plan for this, okay? No one plans for these things.
Courtney, I got you a date.
He goes to SUC, and he's a science major.
He's gonna meet you in the quad in an hour.
Maybe I should do this professionally.
Court, do you think you could give me a ride home? Kent never texted me.
Of course, blood sis, I got you.
No, no, but you guys can't leave.
We still have to play tell me what you're lying about.
I'm gonna go get it with Girsten.
I feel so good that it's out in the open now.
But Yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo.
Just chill, just chill out.
No, man, gotta smash.
Okay, you are free, but you must pay American dollars for repairs.
Hey, we're free.
Nice, bro! Dinner time! Oh, shit.
What's up? Andie's been trying to message me this whole time, man.
I have to go to her house and explain everything.
Look, I hear what you were talking about before, and I totally get it.
I'm just not the kind of guy to let an older brother get in the way.
Kent, dinner? Why don't you come over for dinner at my house, man? My mom's cooking.
French fries? Yeah.
Thanks, Josh.
Yup.
Why don't we not tell Andie about that? I wasn't gonna.
I'm gonna get in enough trouble already for delivering her man meat late.
But you know what? I still have a soft spot for you.
Thank you, Dakota.
Thanks for having us.
Ew, whatever, get out.
Do you wanna talk about it? No.
Okay.
Sit.
Okay.
- Okay, seriously? - Whoa.
That's a really squishy bed.
Seriously, stop.
I think Josh is cheating on me with your dumb friend.
With Andie? Come on, I know you're part of her little group, so don't bother.
She's a sophomore slut and she's Grier, Andie's into Kent.
They've been talking all night.
Saydak? Yes.
I thought that was a rumor started by the freshman class because they felt bad for her.
Andie is my best friend, and I don't think you're giving her a fair chance.
Just like maybe she's not giving you one.
Why do I like you? My mom asks me that same question all the time.
Andie knows that Josh only sees her as Alec's little sister.
But does he though? Because I'm not convinced.
I've never seen him treat her any other way.
Hey, Grier? Mm-hmm.
I'm gonna really miss you, because I know you're not gonna be tutoring me anymore.
Okay, don't beg.
You know we're friends.
I know.
I just wanted to hear you say it.
It's too much.
Yeah, that's what I thought.
Yup.
Ugh, wine coolers.
Hey.
How did you get in my house? What, aren't you happy to see me? Conflicted 'cause I like seeing you alive, but you're not gonna be if Alex sees you here.
Or maybe you're already dead since you've been ignoring me all night.
Your brother broke the Escape Room.
I didn't have any service.
See, he ruins everything.
I don't care if Alec sees me.
I'm not afraid of him.
You're worth dealing with him.
You're worth everything.
You taste like berries.
I like it.
Courtney, spill the tea.
Yeah, how'd your date go last night? It was actually hella fun.
The opposite of Alec is super grateful someone like me would date them.
So I felt fancy.
Oh, Imogen, how did you get home last night? I stayed the night at Grier's.
Ew, why? I know that you guys only see one side of her, but you're missing out.
She's Deranged.
Evil.
A softie.
I think we're friends.
Imogen.
We'll take it like the time Courtney stopped shaving her pits.
Ignore it.
So Andie, Kent busted out of that asylum pretty fast.
Is busting fast his thing? Dakota! I didn't go all the way, but we did do everything else.
And you guys, all of your lessons finally clicked.
And I'm not talking about the on switch on my toothbrush.
Ooh, get it, girl.
So what's next for Andie "Everything But" Fixler? I'm thinking I'm ready for the but.
Wait, just to clarify, I wasn't talking about my actual butt.
We know! But you should try it.
Thank you so much.
Oh, my god, thank you, thank you.
Oh, why am I so thankful? Is it Thanksgiving? Right, gobble, gobble.
I don't know.
Oh, man, thank you though.
You're welcome.
So fancy.