Future Man (2017) s02e07 Episode Script

1 [electricity buzzes.]
LUGNUT: Previously on "Future Man" PUMP: Supreme Overlord Vice is dead.
Long live Supreme Overlord Torque.
CHISEL: You're smasher now.
Smash everything in this pile before the sun hits the third hole.
TIGER: I'm not gonna go play house - while Josh is still in danger.
- [grunting.]
I've got to get to Athena and get that TTD back, otherwise we're stuck in this shit timeline forever.
Where is my TTD, you fucking dick scab.
You need to move up the launch.
Yeah, yeah, you're right.
I need access to all your security footage.
Athena was operating this whole time right under your nose.
Would this be helpful? [tense music.]
[door opens and closes.]
SHIVA: This is the most fuel I could find on such short notice.
[sighs.]
How much did you get? Everything I could scrounge.
For the next test, I'll double the plutonium.
- Triple it.
- But my ovaries.
Damn your ovaries.
We need to attack Stu now.
This is our last chance.
Without J1, this time machine is the only way we're getting another Joosh.
I'm a neuroscientist, not a nuclear physicist.
Oh, well, I would've asked one of our other scientists, but they're all dead in a cave.
Just saying, if they find you, you might want a backup plan.
Don't worry, I have one.
[suspenseful jazz music.]
[dramatic musical flourish.]
[sweeping orchestral music.]
[sighs.]
- What do you got? - A break.
Using facial recognition, I pinpointed a location where all the Pointed Circle members intersected before dropping off my grid.
There's not a lot out there.
Mostly storage units, and two klicks further you're in cannibal country.
Ah, you guys have cannibals in this timeline too.
Desperate people will eat each other.
- Yeah [chuckles.]
.
- [laughs.]
- Yeah, they really will.
- [laughter.]
Ah, you should talk to Jeff Breakfast, he runs the storage facilities out there.
- Okay, copy that.
- Yeah.
Jeffy Breaks.
WOMAN: [distant.]
Got a few more for sale out there.
MAN: [distant.]
Gonna go quick.
Keep it tight, Shears.
This is for the official portrait.
[militaristic music.]
[sighs.]
Yeah.
Now they have to respect me.
Mm.
Wolf, Wolf, Wolf.
Oh, God.
You got to help me, okay? The the they're coming for the they're after me.
They're after me.
The Pointed Circle is inside the NAG.
Rogue smasher.
- Here you are.
- Oh, God.
- [groans.]
- [panting.]
My apologies, Your Eminence.
- Eminence? - Yeah.
But this one still owes a debt in the smash pits.
No, no, no, Wolf, I can't go back there.
- It's not safe.
- [sighs.]
Smash pit is a publicly held entity, requiring a an open forum and 2/3 majority to commute your service.
Or failing that, a stampede of yellow ants followed by a carrot-colored wind.
Wolf, you're reading from a bean husk.
An airtight bean husk.
My hands are tied here.
I can't amend this thing until the next blood moon, so, you know.
Okay.
Wolf, I can't go back there, okay? If I go back there, they will kill me.
They already attacked me one time.
I am a sitting duck.
It's not safe.
- [sighs.]
- Please, please.
Look, Your Honorable Pit Boss, maybe you and I can come to an understanding.
[pleasant music.]
[dramatic musical flourish.]
- [sighs.]
- [breathing heavily.]
Uh, oh.
No, don't know her.
All right, so you haven't seen anyone coming or going? No, no one ever comes here.
They store their priceless possessions and then just kind of forgot about them.
- Mm.
- Kind of like me.
You know, I I don't have another person that I Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, okay.
I get it, you're sad.
So, I'm gonna go check things out.
Um, you want you need some company? No.
I know where most everything No.
Still no.
[suspenseful music.]
[tumbling.]
[moaning, grunting.]
Wha Son of a [thumping, rattling.]
There goes the element of surprise, you dumb slunt.
That's that's not how you use that word.
What're you doing here? Um, well, you said that you were gonna leave after this, and then I thought, Maybe this could be our chance to bond, you know, like we non-verbally talked about.
Oh, right, yeah, when you tried to kill me? - Yeah.
- Yeah.
That was a nice moment.
Okay, sure.
You wanna help? All right.
Why don't you, uh, - check out this area over here.
- Okay.
- Do I get a cheddar blade? - Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I got your cheddar blade right here.
[thumps.]
Yeah, that did it.
Ah.
[tense music.]
[sizzling.]
[grunting, groaning.]
[gasps.]
[electricity humming.]
- Ugh.
- Ah.
You're too late.
The trail ends here.
Oh, Eunice, why did you have to go and do that? 'Cause you were gonna torture me for my secrets, and I didn't want you to.
Yeah, well, you got me there.
[gulps.]
God damn it.
Tell me where my TTD is.
- What? - Time travel device.
Well, that's a dumb name.
Really, that's what you wanna waste your last breath on? Yeah.
[grunts.]
TIGER: Yeah, I remember my first dead body.
I was four.
Half a person just fell from the sky during a drone-ado.
I know what you're thinking.
Was it the top or the bottom half? But it was neither.
It was just right down the middle, vertical slice.
She was the closest thing I had to a mother.
You'll get used to it.
You know, by the time I was six, we even built training grounds out of the dead.
[chuckles.]
The Obstacle Corpse.
- This is a full-on hideout.
- Yeah.
And there were a ton of footprints by the exit.
So are you sure you didn't see anyone coming or going? No, I've been here all day.
I didn't see anything.
- No, you're bad at your job.
- Okay, I I just This job is all I have.
I don't wanna die.
So now that the one thing you were looking for is dead, does that mean that you're leaving? Okay.
You see this finger? This is my "stop talking" finger, - so when you see this finger - Uh? You stop talking.
The art of investigation [whispering.]
is in the silent observations.
[in normal voice.]
All right? There's more than one set of footprints here.
Hmm, there's a white powder over here.
[ominous music.]
Sedimentary.
A little limestone.
Very old.
Question is, Why would someone walk in ancient stone dust? Ooh, ooh, I know.
Tell me.
Mm.
[sighs.]
Ugh.
Fine.
You can come with me.
Strays are wild and dangerous and unpredictable outsiders.
How could you even think of letting someone like that - near our Lugnut? - Okay, okay.
I'm I'm hearing your concerns, but this stray is special.
I know him.
In prison, he was my friend.
He gave me a rock hammer and I used it to dig a hole, bit by bit every night, to make my escape.
How did they not see the hole? Oh, well, that was the great part.
He also gave me a sexy poster to hang on the wall to cover the hole.
They let you have a poster? That seems implausible.
Well, I helped them out with their taxes.
But [stammers.]
, that's not important.
Look, what is important is that stray outside.
[stirring music.]
He was my redemption.
Just give him a chance.
He's good stray.
[exhales deeply.]
You won't even know he's here.
Wolf, Wolf, Wolf.
Drones dropping pamphlets from the sky.
We have two days to stop the attack.
We're all gonna die.
[whimpering, vocalizing.]
Ah, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Is this really necessary? You brought this on yourself.
I was this close to getting you a mat on the floor behind the cum bucket.
You blew it, buddy.
Per usual, I have so many questions, but I'm only gonna ask the one that matters.
What are we planning to do about the Pointed Circle attacking me last night? Who you think attacked you last night.
The de-bat got everyone all worked up.
Someone probably just saw you talking to me.
Old loyalties die hard.
They tried to murder you.
- That's democracy in action.
- Mm.
I was almost on the business end of an assassin's arrow.
From who? No idea.
- You see me freaking out? No.
- You should be.
How can you even think that we're safe here right now.
Are you kidding me? Okay, okay.
- I can see this is important.
- Yes.
And I am committed to being responsive to all my constituents of this burgeoning modern city-state.
You're writing with a human bone pen.
Investigate claims of possible - Definite.
- Internal terrorist activity.
There you go.
You you don't even have all the information.
I have leads.
Red hair, resistance tattoo.
I find your concern disingenuous.
[blows raspberries.]
[dramatic musical flourish.]
[classical music.]
[chuckles.]
Let's fuck up some art.
- Ooh [laughs.]
.
- [laughs.]
Right down the middle.
Come on, fat baby head.
Get a hole in one.
Ah, you being way too easy on that Raphael.
[canvass ripping.]
TY-ANNE: See? Ancient stone dust.
Okay, these palookas couldn't plop their way out of a circle wank.
- Well, the evidence leads here.
- Told you.
Ladies, what brings you to Chez McGurgs? Okay, I got this.
Get these chuckle fucks out of here.
Thad, Greg, come with me.
We're gonna make a slip 'n slide out of the Dead Sea Scrolls.
Come on.
- All right.
- Famous Tiger.
You know, a lot of people are wondering what you're doing here, where you come from, how you exist.
I'm a time traveler from an alternate reality.
Okay.
[chuckles.]
Fly and coy.
Listen, as somebody who's been in the public eye practically my whole life, I know what it's like to be talked about.
Don't.
I just wanna know how long you've been smashing this stuff.
As soon as Stu moved up the launch.
Can't take this stuff with us, might as well have some fun.
I don't know if this is too forward, but, uh, would you like to take a dump on the Constitution? - I got it in the bathroom.
- Hard pass.
So, who's been in and out of here? Uh, the inner circle.
Centurion deck and above.
I'm Alpha Deck on the Camillo One, obviously.
Hey, Jimmy, you guys still going? Brought my hammer.
[grunts.]
You're getting a scorpion up your snatch.
Shoe-Neck.
[tense music.]
TIGER: Seems like old times, huh, Jer Bear? Why don't you just tell me where the TTD is and maybe this time I'll let you keep your head.
Who's Jeri? I'm Geraldine.
And I don't even know what a TTD is.
It's a time travel device.
Don't say it's a dumb name.
I won't.
It's not in my nature.
- Where's Jimmy? - Jimmy can't help you now.
He's scroll slippin' with the ding dongs.
[sighs.]
I'm gonna hurt you, Jeri.
'Cause I know that no matter the timeline, you're a murderer and a liar, and you got a real slunty face.
That's not how the word is used.
Oh, I'm sorry, I don't speak Bio-Tech.
Aren't you one too? - [grunts.]
- [breathing heavily.]
Look, all right, it seems like you're you're going through something right now, and you're using me to work out your issues.
[snickers.]
Don't sympathize with me.
Okay, what, are you a therapist now? A therapist, yes, that is that is my vocation.
[tense music.]
Why don't you stop stalling and tell me where the TTD is? Stop.
Tiger.
Geraldine had nothing to do with this.
[scoffs.]
I'm getting answers, okay? And everyone knows that torture is the most effective way to get the truth out of people.
Mm.
[sighs.]
This has been about your stupid time machine.
You never cared about Stu or getting to know me.
No, not particularly.
See, see? Now that's hurtful, Tiger.
You know, first, I wanted to be more like you.
But now, I think you might be the worst version of me.
Hah, no.
You're the worst version of me.
Worse versions ask better versions for help.
That's the the rule of versions.
Mm-mm, you were getting something out of it too.
I was trying to fix you, but you're a lost cause.
This whole place is a lost cause, which is why I'm bailing on this timeline and I'm gonna find a new one.
We all wanna hit the reset button, but life doesn't give us a machine to go back and fix all of our problems.
Yep, it does.
- And I'm trying to find mine.
- Mm.
No, you that's my finger.
You can't use my finger at me.
- Oh, I'm using it.
- [groans.]
[foreboding music.]
TY-ANNE: How did those get here? The storage guy brought them in this morning.
You know, the sad guy with access to his social anxiety disorder.
Jeff Breakfast said he never left his post today.
Jeff Breakfast lied.
Looks like someone just cracked the case.
- Come on, let's go.
- No, thanks.
After today, the last thing I want is to be more like you.
[door whirs open and shut.]
Relationships are hard.
- Mm.
- [grunts.]
Mm.
[exhales sharply.]
[door knocks.]
[tense music.]
Oh.
[breathing heavily.]
I've never met a stray before.
Can I see your gills.
My what now? Are you gonna steal my hair to make a nest? No, that's that's not I'm just from out of town.
I heard you only have two parents.
Yeah.
Yeah, that part's true.
Is that why you have a horn growing out of your butt? Um So do you know anyone who looks like that? Any anybody at all? Yeah, there are only five ladies in NAG with hair like blood.
- I know all of them.
- You do? I know everybody here.
It's the face of the dad I pushed from my mind.
Cool.
Cool.
Uh, well, the one I'm looking for, she, uh, cut her leg just about here, so all I need you to do is is see if any of those blood-haired ladies are walking kind of funny or something.
Oh, well, if she's walking, it's definitely not Trowel.
- She has no legs.
- So we're down to four.
You think you could, uh, check 'em out for me? Sneak a peek? Our little secret? Yeah.
Yeah, I could do that.
That's great.
Thank you.
[chain rattles.]
I'll be here.
[dramatic musical flourish.]
[ominous music.]
[sighs.]
All right, it's breakfast time.
Mm.
[gun cocks, whirs.]
[playful music.]
Hi, Sweet Bean, what you doin'? - Just practicing.
- For what? I can't tell you.
It's a secret I have with the horny man out back.
Hatchet.
Mm.
[ominous music.]
Looks like the shoe is in the other neck.
I knew it.
Your time machine has a battery.
It's missing.
You're gonna tell me where it is.
No.
I'm a warrior.
- I don't do the science stuff.
- Don't sell yourself short.
I think you got a very good skill set.
The subtle art of deception isn't one of them.
What're you gonna do with my glow worm blood? Just fondly remember my pet glow worm? Blood you keep in a vial that fits perfectly - inside your time machine? - Hey.
Times were tough where I came from.
- There was only one vial size.
- Right.
I'll see you around, Tiger.
What's gonna happen when I put this in the time machine, hmm? Oh, nothing.
- You know, if you do it right.
- Nice try.
But we've used the machine before.
There's an initiation sequence to reactivate the fuel once it's been removed.
You get that wrong, the only place you're time traveling to is hell.
Hmm.
You're lying.
Now there's no outsmarting you, Jer Bear.
Reverse psychology won't work.
You've already told me everything.
Yeah, yeah, you nailed it.
Reverse-reverse psychology won't work either.
- Isn't that just psychology? - I don't know.
I'm not a psychologist.
My PhD is in rolling the dice.
Yahtzee.
- [neck cracks.]
- Mm.
- [grunting.]
- [objects crashing.]
[grunting.]
[zapping.]
- Oh.
- Ow.
[groans, grunts.]
[grunts, groans.]
[chimes clinking.]
[suspenseful music.]
Chimes up, Jer Bear.
Don't do it.
A plutonium-based power source has a fraction of the joules necessary to generate a field stable enough to breach - the inter-dimensional plane.
- No science stuff, huh? I guess we're both liars.
That's the first true thing you've said.
I'll take my chances.
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, okay.
We can both walk away from this with something we want.
You with your head attached.
Me with my TTD.
If you say it won't work, that means it's going to.
What if you're wrong? Then I'll die knowing I took away the one thing you want most.
No! [medieval music.]
[indistinct murmuring.]
How? [slurps.]
Lord Torque.
Lord Torque, come quick.
[breathing heavily.]
ALL: [chanting.]
Burn the stray! Burn the stray! Burn the stray! [whimpering.]
Ah.
Damn.
Not a good move.
You mess with the cluster, you're gonna find yourself on the business end of a bonfire.
Do you even hear yourself right now? Those people just tried to burn me alive.
Well, you shouldn't have brought Lugnut into this.
I told you I was gonna look into your Pointed Circle allegations, and I have never broken a promise in my political career.
- Political career? - Mm-hmm.
All you did was let an old man die and then you stole his jacket.
That's it.
And how are you making this haircut work? What Hey, a little gratitude, okay? You were about to be burned alive back there.
You promised me that if I came to your time, you would take care of me.
Well, looky here, you've got a roof over your head, three walls around you, and mushy bean leavings twice a day, so, you know, I'd say you're living pretty large.
Now, hold still while I put this muzzle on.
No, no, no, no, no, no, you're - Yeah, come here.
- Look, you can't muzzle me.
You're not gonna muzzle J1.
You can't.
Yes, I can.
I will.
[gasps.]
Shh, shh.
I just did.
[indistinct muffled speech.]
You know, you brought this on yourself.
- [indistinct muffled speech.]
- Shh.
Psst-shh.
No.
[beeper beeping.]
If it's not one thing, it's something else.
Oh, boobs, yeah, of course.
- [indistinct muffled speech.]
- No, no.
You need to stay.
Stay.
Stay.
Good boy.
[foreboding music.]
[muffled screaming.]
[exhales sharply.]
That's, um, wow.
Yeah, it's awesome, right? - Where's Josh? - He's tied up.
All right, well, we need to get him 'cause Jeri blew up again, and she took the TTD with her.
Her again? Head explode? No, head intact.
Actually, the rest of her is, - you know, that's not so much.
- Whoa.
We're officially trapped in this time, so if we wanna survive, we need to be on a spaceship to Mars in two days.
A space wagon to a sky sparkle? [blows raspberries, snickers.]
All right, take this.
- It's a key to Stu's compound.
- Ugh.
Just it'll get you through no matter what.
Wolf, this is serious.
- Torque.
- Your name is Wolf.
No, my name was Wolf.
Then it was Corey Wolf-Hart.
Then briefly Wolf again.
And now Torque.
Or if we're being formal, you can address me as "His Eminence, the Supreme Overlord Wheelmaker, "First of His Name.
" - Okay, Supreme Overlord.
- Yes? The planet's about to be uninhabitable.
Don't try and peddle your climate change lies on me, okay? Everyone knows scientists just made that stuff up because the the I have no idea why they made that up, but they have a reason and I hate them for it.
M'kay, so you've become an idiot.
Look, you wanted to find the TTD, okay? You found it.
It's destroyed.
That sucks.
But look around you.
This can be our new home.
Come back with me to the NAG.
- Yeah, I can't go to the NAG.
- Why not? Why? Why do you keep fighting this? [solemn music.]
[sighs.]
[ominous music.]
[coughing, gasping.]
Help.
[coughing.]
[coughing.]
Bio-Techs are not the same as Biotics.
Big difference.
[coughing.]
Holy shit.
You're one of them.
I'm I'm still me.
You're a Biotic.
You After everything we've been through.
[stirring music.]
Why didn't you tell me? 'Cause it wasn't supposed to matter.
We were supposed to come back to a time where this this didn't matter.
But we come from a time when it does.
I guess I just couldn't take you looking at me the the way you're looking at me right now.
You're a liar.
[snickers.]
I'm a liar? Torque, your whole life is built on a lie.
You lie every day to another man's family and an orphan child.
Don't you dare bring my daughter into this.
She's not your daughter.
And no matter how much you smile or charm them, you know deep down that their love is for someone else.
Hmm.
Well, at least I have someone else.
Who do you have?