Good Girls (2018) s02e07 Episode Script
The Dubby
1 - Previously on "Good Girls": - He said there's someone else.
[KNOCKING.]
- Yes.
- They were out of cinnamon, - so - I'm the dick who slept with your dad.
I'm a complete idiot.
I'm lonely.
Nancy's lonely, too.
You were awesome this week.
I mean, you moved more cars than our top guy.
I've been working on your calendar.
- Where are you going to be? - Here, at work.
We can't both steer the ship.
[MOANING.]
You didn't tell him yet? - Tell me what? - We're partners now.
You can go to hell! You can have whatever you want, just stop! He said you were former Mossad? That's the rumor, right? [LAUGHS.]
Did you ever, like, kill a dude? - You are hilarious.
- But have you? You got a good one in there.
It'll be worse for him.
Whatever you need to know, but he has to stay out of it.
- What do you want? - Her.
- How can I help you? - Yeah, I got some cars - coming in today.
- What did you put in the cars? Yeah, you don't gotta worry about all that stuff.
I am going to need you to deliver me one more, yeah? Why don't you just tell me what you're looking for.
50-50.
You look good behind that desk.
Do we have a deal or not? Mm-hmm.
Great.
[ALARM BLARING.]
[POLO AND PAN'S "DOROTHY" PLAYS.]
Scarecrow, Tin-Man, Dorothy Lion is afraid of me Lion is afraid of me Lion is afraid of me, la-la-la-la-la-la-la La-la-la-la-la-la-la La-la-la-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la-la-la-la Escape from reality Where I go you follow me Where I go, you follow me Where I go, you follow me La-la-la-la-la-la-la La-la-la-la-la-la-la La-la-la-la-la-la-la La-la-la-la-la-la-la [ALARM BLARING.]
["DOROTHY" CONTINUES.]
Tornado swallowing my house Get higher It looks like it's spinning around It looks like it's spinning around I'm lost, I'm lost, in a shiny new world Follow, follow, follow - - The yellow brick road Walking ahead in a brand new style Flower shower flowers raining on me [ALARM BLARING.]
[ALARM BLARING.]
[CLOCK CLATTERS, ALARM STOPS.]
It looks like You wanna be a fly girl, bust a move You wanna be a fly girl, show me proof You wanna be a fly girl, say it loud All the fly girls break it down You wanna be a fly girl, bust a move You wanna be a fly girl, show me proof You wanna be a fly girl, say it loud All the fly girls break it down Break it down Break it down Break it down [CLEARS THROAT.]
Break it down What did I miss? That kid puked during tap.
Was that "Singin' In the Rain"? Singin' somethin'.
[PHONE BUZZING.]
No cheap fakes and don't be late Fly girls love to keep it classy Never trashy, always sassy One, two, three, I got a fly girl degree - [WHISTLES AND APPLAUSE.]
- You wanna be a fly girl Bust a move, you wanna be a fly girl Show me proof, you wanna be a fly girl Say it loud I'll be right back.
You wanna be a fly girl, bust a move [WHISPERING.]
Excuse me.
I'm so sorry.
You wanna be a fly girl, say it loud All the fly girls break it down Break it down, break it down Break it down, break it down Break it down, break it down [MUFFLED MUSIC CONTINUES.]
What's 50-50 mean to you? If this is about the drop-off, - I'm doing it in the morning.
- 50-50 means I'm paying you so damn much I don't have to come and track you down anymore.
At your recitals and swim and the orthodontist and Why do I feel like we keep having this conversation? You tell me.
Well, then let's stop.
[AUDIENCE CHEERING.]
See, problem is, our customers, they want their drop tonight.
See, me and you, we're like FedEx now, right? They sleep, we deliver, 'cause if we don't, we're gonna hear about it.
Well, I'm with my family.
Why don't you do it? [FOOTSTEPS APPROACH.]
- Sure.
- Thank you.
I'll take the 100%.
- What? - I'll do your job for you, you take all the personal days you want.
I'll drop the car off tonight.
Cool.
[MUFFLED CHEERS AND APPLAUSE.]
Thanks, partner.
[APPLAUSE WINDING DOWN.]
Yay! Come here you little pumpkin.
You were amazing! Ah! What was your favorite part? - The spinning.
- What was your favorite part? When she did the big leap.
The big what was your favorite part? Uh when she stood! [CHUCKLES.]
Mommy, you missed it.
I bet you were great.
Oh, hey, you're gonna take a picture with everyone up on stage.
Go get 'em.
Queen Thunder Clam.
- Ew! - [LAUGHTER.]
- Hey, I'm just following the rules.
- What's mine? Okay, you are Magnificent Glitter Beaver.
- [LAUGHTER.]
- I'll take it! What are you? I'm Madame Whisker Waffles.
[LAUGHTER.]
Who makes this stuff up? - Wait, there's one for guys.
- Oh, my God, do Deansie.
Okay, Deansie is the Dainty Ham Tickler.
[LAUGHTER.]
What is this? Amy found this name generator for your, um, for a woman's It takes all the letters of your name No, I got it.
Did you want to hear about the lice problem in fifth grade or the geranium sale at the nursery? 'Cause it's all on there.
Nope, I'm good.
I recorded her for three days.
I get it.
It's not like we sit around talking about crime.
Of course not.
I got what I could.
Hey, thanks for trying.
Well, Stan will be home with the kids soon, so Just one last question.
Do Sara and Harry have grandparents? Stan's side.
Relatively healthy? - I guess so.
- Names? [PEN CLICKS.]
George and Charisse? You spell that with two S's? Why? Well, you're solid folk.
I wanna make sure your kids are taken care of.
What do you mean? When you and your husband go away.
[SAD MUSIC PLAYS.]
I did every single thing you asked.
- And still got nothing.
- I don't know what you want! Pictures, people, names, dates.
Something I can use.
All right you guys, it's bedtime.
PJs, brush your teeth.
Jane, you need a bath.
- I'm clean! - You are the opposite.
Will you make sure that she wipes the makeup off her face? 'Cause that's gonna get on the sheets.
- Where are you going? - I have a thing.
- Are you kidding me right now? - It's for work.
- No.
- No? I got a thing.
What? Book club.
Okay, very funny.
You take off her makeup.
Dean, I can't leave them here alone.
- You tuck 'em in.
- Dean? Book.
Club.
[DOOR SLAMS.]
[DOG BARKS DISTANTLY.]
Where are we? We are on a secret mission.
Can we get ice cream now? Yeah, we just have to wait for Auntie Annie - to come pick us up.
- I want to go home.
Why does Auntie Annie have to pick us up? [DISTANT SIREN WAILING.]
Because we have to leave this car here.
- Why? - Because it's a grown-up reason.
Why? Who wants to listen to the kid's station? [THE KINNARDLYS "UNTIL YOU SMILE" PLAYS.]
Out of the pan and into the fire Nothing stops me, over the moon And under the radar, there I'll be Into the blue and out of my dare to steal I don't care, up on the clouds Well.
This takes family night to a whole new level.
Okay, you guys.
Let's go.
Hurry up, guys.
Auntie's running on fumes.
- [SONG CONTINUES.]
- Are you serious? - [ENGINE STOPS RUNNING.]
- Anything, hey, hey - [ENGINE STARTS.]
- Huh.
No.
Ha-ha.
Hey, hey, I'll walk through the fire Whatever it takes, hey, hey All right, pack it up.
Mommy! Mommy! - Okay, we're gonna find it.
- [CRYING.]
I need my dubby! Well, it's gotta be here.
I can't ever sleep again.
God, please don't say that.
Have you looked under the bed? Did you check in these covers? - It's not anywhere! - Okay, did you have it - this morning? - Yes.
Okay, and did you have it when I tucked you in tonight? No When was the last time you remember having it? In the creepy car.
[LAUGHS.]
Tuck your chin.
Put your shoulders on my chest.
[GRUNTING.]
Find your point.
Come on, Princess.
Come on.
Stop worrying about your manicure.
Ah! [HEAVY BREATHING.]
Okay, what if it was a knife? Straight shot to the berries.
Okay, and a gun? Run as fast as you can.
- [LAUGHING.]
- I'm serious.
This guy is real bad news, huh? I need him to go away.
That's not a good road for you.
Yeah, he shot me.
That's not all he did, right? Let's say I have a friend.
He takes care of your problem.
So you go back to your good life with a wife who shtups bad people.
And one day my friend gets picked up for selling e-cigarettes imported from Ukraine.
But they don't want my friend.
They want his boss.
He's not gonna roll over on him because then my friend's dead and so are his children, his pets.
So my friend mentions you.
And the rest ends with you in jail for murder.
So what am I supposed to do? Just let this dick ruin my life? Go home.
Take a long shower.
Yeah.
Wash all that noise down the drain.
Be fresh as a daisy.
And call the divorce lawyer.
Stupid thing is I can't live without her.
What's that? My friend.
Hey, morning.
Excuse me, what about breakfast? I'm not hungry.
Well, don't you need a ride to school? Sarah's mom's picking me up.
Sarah L or Sarah W? Sarah with an H.
Does that mean she spells her first name with an H or the first letter of her last name - Does it matter? - Yeah, actually, it does.
I would like to know who's driving you to school.
Oh, right.
Because you're Parent Mom.
It's just hard to keep track these days.
There's Parent Mom, Cool Mom, Sketchy Mom, Cheating Mom.
Okay, just plain old Mom will suffice.
I'm not gonna be home tonight.
Why's that? I'm going to the movies with Jordan.
Girl Jordan or boy Jordan? Okay, well, I hope you have a really great time at the movies! [SIGHS.]
[PHONE RINGING.]
Oy, yoy, yoy.
What happened? I need your help.
Yay.
Wait, why is everybody on the floor? I just found her that way.
I'll be right there.
Of all the places to leave a dubby.
Well, maybe they're parents too and they'll get it.
Are you sure you don't want to make her go cold turkey? I mean, I don't either.
[CAMERA SHUTTER SNAPPING.]
What are you doing? Well, you know, we're thinking about updating our place With a half a washing machine on the front lawn? Or an oil-stained mattress? It's it's got a cute porch.
That is not oil, but you must know that, right? Let's just do this.
Hi, I made a delivery here last night.
- Uh-huh.
- And it's the funniest thing, but I think I left my daughter's baby blanket in the car.
She calls it her dubby.
Uh-huh? Probably right in the backseat.
Uh-huh.
You know, it was really dark.
Yeah, you sure this is the right house? Do you mind if I just sorta [CLICKS TONGUE.]
Like, take a peek in the car? Mm.
[ELECTRO-HIP-HOP PLAYS.]
So tell us about this, uh dubby.
It's just a blanket, hand-knit.
You come across any, uh, hand-knit dubbys? Maybe if you were a little more specific.
Sure it's, um, worsted merino wool - with a drop-stitch pattern.
- Uh-huh.
- Color? - Pink.
Uh-huh.
You know, it's really not that big of a deal.
Yeah, we got people waiting who are going to be worried.
Oh, no, no, no, no.
I got your dubby.
- Oh.
- Yeah.
It's just, uh, [AHEM.]
it's in the basement.
[WHISPERS.]
Oh, sweet Jesus.
Well, go get it, man.
Go get the dubby.
Oh, and, uh, you.
Go help him.
But he can get it himself, right? Well, yeah, he could, but that's no fun.
- I'll go with you.
- No.
You go next.
No one's going anywhere.
Just keep the dubby, okay? Why don't you sit down? Sit down! Oh.
You think 'cause you all have guns that you're in charge.
That's adorable.
This guy's hilarious, huh? [LAUGHING.]
[LIGHTLY EDGY MUSIC.]
Do you know who I am? Hm.
Prettiest little mommy I've ever seen.
Well, thank you very much.
But, no.
I'm the reason you exist.
I bring you the pills.
Without me, none of you would be here.
None of this would be there.
This lovely home.
With its old world charm and what was it that you liked? - Uh, uh, just the porch.
- Yeah, the porch.
See, all this goes away the second you disrespect me.
And you know what I really don't like? The idea that any one of us would want to go to your basement.
Nowadays, that is really not cool.
I mean was it ever? No, it wasn't.
So what do you want to do here? You wanna make it personal or you wanna keep it professional? Wallets, phones.
Seems fair.
- I didn't think it would - Mm-mm.
- At first he didn't seem so - No.
Hey, where have you been? I got held up.
The Feds, our buddy, he opened up a thing.
- What's a thing, Stan? - An IA deal, or whatever.
I literally have no idea what you're saying.
Internal Affairs, okay? They investigate dirty cops.
- For what? - The pen cap, Ruby.
What is wrong with you? I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I tried to call you.
- I was trying to text you.
- I lost my phone.
This is bad, right? How many guys are they looking at? I don't know, I guess everybody who worked inside - the evidence room.
- Right.
I mean, you think it's protocol or you think - he knows something now? - I don't know.
I-I just don't know how tweaked I need to be.
You know, I mean, this could mean serious jail time, Ruby, if they know it's me.
You know? But how could they, you know? There was no one else in the evidence room.
I made sure of that.
And I wore gloves.
[SOUND OF VOICE FADING.]
Stan.
It's gonna be okay.
[PHONE BUZZING.]
It's Dean.
[MUZAK PLAYS.]
Oh, hey, is that the Princess Pink? Oh, yeah, it's the last one.
Sorry.
No, it's okay.
You know what? Can I just have it? I I'm having an emergency.
You have a yarn emergency? I lost my daughter's favorite blankie that she sleeps with every single night, and I can't get it back, so I need to knit a whole new one that looks just like the old one in that exact color.
Well, I would love to help you.
Thank you so much.
But, I promised Kevin I would knit him a new scarf.
- Is Kevin your son? - My cat.
Ah.
- Didn't know cats wore scarves.
- Kevin does.
Huh.
Do you think Kevin would consider wearing a scarf in a different color? This is his favorite.
Ah.
I don't mean to be disrespectful, it's just it's my child, you know? Oh, I get it.
I mean, Kevin is like my child.
No, no, no, no.
That is not no.
He is not a child, he is not a person, he is a cat, Who would probably eat your face off if he didn't have food for, like, five minutes.
[CLUB MUSIC PLAYS.]
Hey! What are you doing here? My taxes.
What does it look like? No, I you just never come for B-day drinks.
- It's someone's birthday? - Megan's 40th.
Who? Frozen foods? Megan? We got her this hilarious card, it says, um, "You're not getting older.
You're just increasing your value!" - That's incredible.
- You want to sign it? Uh, excuse me, excuse me.
Hi, yeah, um, can I get a margarita? Um, hold the lime juice and, uh, the triple sec.
And the sour mix.
- So just tequila? - Yeah, and could you, uh, put it in a shot glass and throw it on the birthday girl's tab? Thanks.
[SLOW TEMPO MUSIC PLAYS.]
What? Nothing.
I'm not going to have sex with you.
Huh.
Yeah, I know for some reason all this seems to scream that I'm real down to party, but I'm actually just a regular person who's trying to get real drunk.
I've had a week.
I'm Noah.
Hey, Noah.
I'm Ariana Grande.
I just started at Fine and Frugal.
[SNORTS.]
- Why would you do that? - Well, I needed a job.
What, and the coal mine wasn't hiring? - [LAUGHS.]
- Because I'm telling you, there is literally nothing worse.
Like, minimum wage, minimum benefits.
Won't even let you drop a deuce on company time.
I can't go in public anyway.
Well, it's good news for you because they make you clock out.
[SCOFFS.]
Place is run by fascists.
Excuse me.
- What about the managers? - [BITTER LAUGH.]
Pfff.
[BELCHES.]
Noah, sweet Noah.
Noah! - It's that bad, huh? - Mm.
Just imagine, if you will, rounding up the saddest little losers on the entire planet perverts, knuckle-draggers, and rapists.
That is who they hire, every time, without fail.
Well, I'm really looking forward to it.
I think it's gonna be fun.
That's sad.
So what are you? No, no, don't tell me.
Let me guess.
Mm.
Produce? You've really got a whole, "I've thrown away everything in my life," vibe.
I'm the new manager.
[MUTTERS.]
We do use real crab in the crab salad.
I love crab.
Me too.
Are you Annie? Mm-mm.
Is there an Annie Marks here? Oh, she's right here! - Hey, Annie.
- You have a call.
Thanks.
- Excuse me.
- Yeah.
Hello.
[POLICE RADIO CHATTER.]
[SOMBER MUSIC.]
Dean! - I tried to call you.
- What happened? - You didn't answer your phone.
- What's going on? We can't find Jane.
- Okay, where were you? - Okay, I was, uh, I was making dinner.
- And you didn't see anything - No, the kids were all - Or hear anything? - They were running around.
- Well, the news was on.
- And you were watching them? - Yes! - Or were you watching TV? I really hate the way you're speaking to me right now.
- Did you look everywhere? - Kids get lost, Beth.
No, parents lose them! - You're putting this on me? - No - You weren't even here, as always.
- I know.
Why don't you ask Mr.
Neck Tats? - What are you talking about? - Huh? Maybe he has an idea - where your daughter is.
- Are you suggesting that he took our child? Oh, I'm so stupid! He shot me in my own living room.
You gotta draw the line somewhere, right? How has it never occurred to you that what you're doing is going to come back and bite us in the ass.
[DOOR OPENS, SLAMS.]
- Where're you going? - I'm coming with you.
- They took our wallets, right? - Uh-uh, don't.
So they know everything.
They know who we are, - they know where we live.
- Don't go there.
- She could be anywhere.
- It hasn't been that long.
I have so many pictures of those kids on my phone.
Beth, we're gonna find her.
Son of a bitch, where are my keys? Honey, they're in your hand.
Okay, you guys stay here just in case she comes back.
Janey! Janey! I just cannot believe this is happening.
- Jane! - We're gonna find her, man.
Like, I am freaking out right now, man.
Janey! - Jane! - Janey! Jane! We gotta stop this guy.
[SYNTH-POP PLAYS.]
Do you know what I'm talking about? Yeah.
[DRAMATIC VOCALIZING.]
Got to go over there, okay? Right now.
They've got Jane.
- What are you talking about? - They took my kid! - Who took your kid? - The guys with the drugs in the house.
- Your colleagues.
- Our colleagues.
- Okay, whatever.
- Why would they do that? I don't know! I pissed them off! You went in the house.
So? So what, Dean? I can't just arrest the guy.
That's not what I'm saying.
Okay, what are you saying? What do you think this is, huh? Some kind of hobby? You make a little extra cash selling Herbalife while you still drive carpool and play dance mom? My daughter needed something in the car.
- Who cares? - I do! - I'm a mother! - You're a drug dealer! You move pills and you wash cash.
That's what you do.
That's who you are, and if you mess up at that you go to jail or you die.
Get your head straight.
They didn't take your daughter.
How do you know? There no money in that.
Me and a couple of your cop buddies.
We end this guy.
Hey, she couldn't have gone too far, okay? Let's look over by the swings.
Janey! [VOCALIZING.]
Sadie's not answering her phone.
You tried her friend? She said they never had plans.
Why don't you go? What about Beth? I'll stay.
- Go.
You should go.
- Okay.
- Go! - Okay, okay.
Just just call me later, okay? [ALICE PHOEBE LOU'S "SHE" PLAYS.]
She She She didn't want to lose her desire She She She She She looked out to the horizon She said I wanna go to Mars [CLATTERING.]
And this This planet ain't ours She said I want to go to Mars And this, this planet ain't ours Hi.
Hi.
Look at that suitcase.
Your traveling game is on point.
I mean, You got your friends, gummy bears.
What more do you need? So where you headed? Big Apple? Vegas? Hogwarts? I'm not allowed to cross the street.
Well, then the closet is a smart choice.
Your mom's busy with work, huh? Well, we have been friends for a long ass time.
Before you even got here.
Before your brothers, your sister.
Before iPads? Before iPads.
Way back.
The thing about your mom that you should know whenever you need her, no matter what's going on, She's just you know she's just there.
[DOOR OPENS, CLOSES.]
- Jane! - Jane? - In here.
- [RUNNING FOOTSTEPS.]
- Thank you.
- Come to Dad.
Come here.
Come here, baby.
[DOOR OPENING.]
- Oh, my God.
- Here we go.
Where have you been? Told you I went to the movies.
That's funny, because I tweeted at Roxie who Facebooked Mia who DM'd Paul who said that he was having mango boba with both Girl Jordan and Boy Jordan at Noodle World, so I know that's total bull! - Oh, so now I'm the liar? - Yes, correct! I went with Nancy.
Thought you'd say no.
I don't care, but I have to know that you're safe.
Okay.
Guess I'm that mom.
Okay.
Don't ever do that again.
Hey, Sadie? Do you have, like, maybe an ETA? On what? When you'll be my kid again? I'm really trying to give you your space but, um, gotta be honest, it's kinda killing me.
I don't know.
Okay.
Good night.
[CLOONEY'S "EVERYBODY LOVES A DREAM" PLAYS.]
There is one for you I know Everybody loves a dream, crazy as that dream may seem I like snacks, so I feel like that's how people look at this.
I like fruit with my treats, so like I'm totally down with this blueberry.
I do like that there's a large assortment of bite-size - Good morning.
- Hi.
Hi.
Did you pre-deuce? Because, you know, company time.
Look, um, I think I should save you some trouble and just quit right now.
No I was tot I'm kidding.
I mean, you can deuce whenever you want on company time.
Will you stop saying that? Yeah, you started that, though.
Okay, um, here's the thing.
I had, like, a really terrible relationship with the last manager here.
Okay.
Was he a pervert, rapist, or knuckle-dragger? Depended on the day.
- Wow.
- Yeah.
- Okay.
- Um, so if you're gonna just torture me for the next six months, I really think it's better for both of us if I just cut my losses and move on.
I don't think you should leave.
- Why not? - Well, for one you've got a great attitude, and I feel like we could really use that kind of school spirit around here.
- Funny.
- Yeah.
Okay, you know what? Um, you seem super smart, you're funny as hell, and I just feel like I would have a lot less fun if you weren't here.
I don't want to clock in anymore.
So don't.
I trust you.
I don't want to pay for my daily donut.
I'm not counting 'em.
I don't want to bag.
I'm a cashier.
Right, that's why we have baggers.
Why are you being so cool? Because you deserve better than this place.
Am I wrong? I I do have, um, I have one question, though.
What do you want? [BOTH GRUNTING, MOANING.]
Oh, my God.
This violates so many codes.
Shut up! - HR, health, morality.
- Shut up! - And just common decency.
- Shut up! [BOTH LAUGHING.]
[CHILDREN LAUGHING.]
All right, Emma.
Here it comes.
Is someone moving this one? - Here's one - Annie's shoes! - Annie's school! - [LAUGHING.]
All right, Jane, it's your turn.
- [TIMBER TIMBRE'S "RUN FROM ME" PLAYS.]
- Run from me, darling - Oh! - Run, my good wife Anything good? Run from me, darling For you, Elizabeth.
You better run for your life Run from me, baby Run, my good wife Run from me, darling - Bye, Daddy.
- Bye.
Hey, baby.
Have a good day.
For your life Run, run [WHISPERING.]
They're giving us lie detectors.
Run Run Run Run [VOCALIZING.]
Run Run Run Run Run Run Run Run Run Run Can you meet me right now? [SLOW COUNTRY MUSIC PLAYS.]
Each time I see you I contemplate What I love most of all Your swinging gait
[KNOCKING.]
- Yes.
- They were out of cinnamon, - so - I'm the dick who slept with your dad.
I'm a complete idiot.
I'm lonely.
Nancy's lonely, too.
You were awesome this week.
I mean, you moved more cars than our top guy.
I've been working on your calendar.
- Where are you going to be? - Here, at work.
We can't both steer the ship.
[MOANING.]
You didn't tell him yet? - Tell me what? - We're partners now.
You can go to hell! You can have whatever you want, just stop! He said you were former Mossad? That's the rumor, right? [LAUGHS.]
Did you ever, like, kill a dude? - You are hilarious.
- But have you? You got a good one in there.
It'll be worse for him.
Whatever you need to know, but he has to stay out of it.
- What do you want? - Her.
- How can I help you? - Yeah, I got some cars - coming in today.
- What did you put in the cars? Yeah, you don't gotta worry about all that stuff.
I am going to need you to deliver me one more, yeah? Why don't you just tell me what you're looking for.
50-50.
You look good behind that desk.
Do we have a deal or not? Mm-hmm.
Great.
[ALARM BLARING.]
[POLO AND PAN'S "DOROTHY" PLAYS.]
Scarecrow, Tin-Man, Dorothy Lion is afraid of me Lion is afraid of me Lion is afraid of me, la-la-la-la-la-la-la La-la-la-la-la-la-la La-la-la-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la-la-la-la Escape from reality Where I go you follow me Where I go, you follow me Where I go, you follow me La-la-la-la-la-la-la La-la-la-la-la-la-la La-la-la-la-la-la-la La-la-la-la-la-la-la [ALARM BLARING.]
["DOROTHY" CONTINUES.]
Tornado swallowing my house Get higher It looks like it's spinning around It looks like it's spinning around I'm lost, I'm lost, in a shiny new world Follow, follow, follow - - The yellow brick road Walking ahead in a brand new style Flower shower flowers raining on me [ALARM BLARING.]
[ALARM BLARING.]
[CLOCK CLATTERS, ALARM STOPS.]
It looks like You wanna be a fly girl, bust a move You wanna be a fly girl, show me proof You wanna be a fly girl, say it loud All the fly girls break it down You wanna be a fly girl, bust a move You wanna be a fly girl, show me proof You wanna be a fly girl, say it loud All the fly girls break it down Break it down Break it down Break it down [CLEARS THROAT.]
Break it down What did I miss? That kid puked during tap.
Was that "Singin' In the Rain"? Singin' somethin'.
[PHONE BUZZING.]
No cheap fakes and don't be late Fly girls love to keep it classy Never trashy, always sassy One, two, three, I got a fly girl degree - [WHISTLES AND APPLAUSE.]
- You wanna be a fly girl Bust a move, you wanna be a fly girl Show me proof, you wanna be a fly girl Say it loud I'll be right back.
You wanna be a fly girl, bust a move [WHISPERING.]
Excuse me.
I'm so sorry.
You wanna be a fly girl, say it loud All the fly girls break it down Break it down, break it down Break it down, break it down Break it down, break it down [MUFFLED MUSIC CONTINUES.]
What's 50-50 mean to you? If this is about the drop-off, - I'm doing it in the morning.
- 50-50 means I'm paying you so damn much I don't have to come and track you down anymore.
At your recitals and swim and the orthodontist and Why do I feel like we keep having this conversation? You tell me.
Well, then let's stop.
[AUDIENCE CHEERING.]
See, problem is, our customers, they want their drop tonight.
See, me and you, we're like FedEx now, right? They sleep, we deliver, 'cause if we don't, we're gonna hear about it.
Well, I'm with my family.
Why don't you do it? [FOOTSTEPS APPROACH.]
- Sure.
- Thank you.
I'll take the 100%.
- What? - I'll do your job for you, you take all the personal days you want.
I'll drop the car off tonight.
Cool.
[MUFFLED CHEERS AND APPLAUSE.]
Thanks, partner.
[APPLAUSE WINDING DOWN.]
Yay! Come here you little pumpkin.
You were amazing! Ah! What was your favorite part? - The spinning.
- What was your favorite part? When she did the big leap.
The big what was your favorite part? Uh when she stood! [CHUCKLES.]
Mommy, you missed it.
I bet you were great.
Oh, hey, you're gonna take a picture with everyone up on stage.
Go get 'em.
Queen Thunder Clam.
- Ew! - [LAUGHTER.]
- Hey, I'm just following the rules.
- What's mine? Okay, you are Magnificent Glitter Beaver.
- [LAUGHTER.]
- I'll take it! What are you? I'm Madame Whisker Waffles.
[LAUGHTER.]
Who makes this stuff up? - Wait, there's one for guys.
- Oh, my God, do Deansie.
Okay, Deansie is the Dainty Ham Tickler.
[LAUGHTER.]
What is this? Amy found this name generator for your, um, for a woman's It takes all the letters of your name No, I got it.
Did you want to hear about the lice problem in fifth grade or the geranium sale at the nursery? 'Cause it's all on there.
Nope, I'm good.
I recorded her for three days.
I get it.
It's not like we sit around talking about crime.
Of course not.
I got what I could.
Hey, thanks for trying.
Well, Stan will be home with the kids soon, so Just one last question.
Do Sara and Harry have grandparents? Stan's side.
Relatively healthy? - I guess so.
- Names? [PEN CLICKS.]
George and Charisse? You spell that with two S's? Why? Well, you're solid folk.
I wanna make sure your kids are taken care of.
What do you mean? When you and your husband go away.
[SAD MUSIC PLAYS.]
I did every single thing you asked.
- And still got nothing.
- I don't know what you want! Pictures, people, names, dates.
Something I can use.
All right you guys, it's bedtime.
PJs, brush your teeth.
Jane, you need a bath.
- I'm clean! - You are the opposite.
Will you make sure that she wipes the makeup off her face? 'Cause that's gonna get on the sheets.
- Where are you going? - I have a thing.
- Are you kidding me right now? - It's for work.
- No.
- No? I got a thing.
What? Book club.
Okay, very funny.
You take off her makeup.
Dean, I can't leave them here alone.
- You tuck 'em in.
- Dean? Book.
Club.
[DOOR SLAMS.]
[DOG BARKS DISTANTLY.]
Where are we? We are on a secret mission.
Can we get ice cream now? Yeah, we just have to wait for Auntie Annie - to come pick us up.
- I want to go home.
Why does Auntie Annie have to pick us up? [DISTANT SIREN WAILING.]
Because we have to leave this car here.
- Why? - Because it's a grown-up reason.
Why? Who wants to listen to the kid's station? [THE KINNARDLYS "UNTIL YOU SMILE" PLAYS.]
Out of the pan and into the fire Nothing stops me, over the moon And under the radar, there I'll be Into the blue and out of my dare to steal I don't care, up on the clouds Well.
This takes family night to a whole new level.
Okay, you guys.
Let's go.
Hurry up, guys.
Auntie's running on fumes.
- [SONG CONTINUES.]
- Are you serious? - [ENGINE STOPS RUNNING.]
- Anything, hey, hey - [ENGINE STARTS.]
- Huh.
No.
Ha-ha.
Hey, hey, I'll walk through the fire Whatever it takes, hey, hey All right, pack it up.
Mommy! Mommy! - Okay, we're gonna find it.
- [CRYING.]
I need my dubby! Well, it's gotta be here.
I can't ever sleep again.
God, please don't say that.
Have you looked under the bed? Did you check in these covers? - It's not anywhere! - Okay, did you have it - this morning? - Yes.
Okay, and did you have it when I tucked you in tonight? No When was the last time you remember having it? In the creepy car.
[LAUGHS.]
Tuck your chin.
Put your shoulders on my chest.
[GRUNTING.]
Find your point.
Come on, Princess.
Come on.
Stop worrying about your manicure.
Ah! [HEAVY BREATHING.]
Okay, what if it was a knife? Straight shot to the berries.
Okay, and a gun? Run as fast as you can.
- [LAUGHING.]
- I'm serious.
This guy is real bad news, huh? I need him to go away.
That's not a good road for you.
Yeah, he shot me.
That's not all he did, right? Let's say I have a friend.
He takes care of your problem.
So you go back to your good life with a wife who shtups bad people.
And one day my friend gets picked up for selling e-cigarettes imported from Ukraine.
But they don't want my friend.
They want his boss.
He's not gonna roll over on him because then my friend's dead and so are his children, his pets.
So my friend mentions you.
And the rest ends with you in jail for murder.
So what am I supposed to do? Just let this dick ruin my life? Go home.
Take a long shower.
Yeah.
Wash all that noise down the drain.
Be fresh as a daisy.
And call the divorce lawyer.
Stupid thing is I can't live without her.
What's that? My friend.
Hey, morning.
Excuse me, what about breakfast? I'm not hungry.
Well, don't you need a ride to school? Sarah's mom's picking me up.
Sarah L or Sarah W? Sarah with an H.
Does that mean she spells her first name with an H or the first letter of her last name - Does it matter? - Yeah, actually, it does.
I would like to know who's driving you to school.
Oh, right.
Because you're Parent Mom.
It's just hard to keep track these days.
There's Parent Mom, Cool Mom, Sketchy Mom, Cheating Mom.
Okay, just plain old Mom will suffice.
I'm not gonna be home tonight.
Why's that? I'm going to the movies with Jordan.
Girl Jordan or boy Jordan? Okay, well, I hope you have a really great time at the movies! [SIGHS.]
[PHONE RINGING.]
Oy, yoy, yoy.
What happened? I need your help.
Yay.
Wait, why is everybody on the floor? I just found her that way.
I'll be right there.
Of all the places to leave a dubby.
Well, maybe they're parents too and they'll get it.
Are you sure you don't want to make her go cold turkey? I mean, I don't either.
[CAMERA SHUTTER SNAPPING.]
What are you doing? Well, you know, we're thinking about updating our place With a half a washing machine on the front lawn? Or an oil-stained mattress? It's it's got a cute porch.
That is not oil, but you must know that, right? Let's just do this.
Hi, I made a delivery here last night.
- Uh-huh.
- And it's the funniest thing, but I think I left my daughter's baby blanket in the car.
She calls it her dubby.
Uh-huh? Probably right in the backseat.
Uh-huh.
You know, it was really dark.
Yeah, you sure this is the right house? Do you mind if I just sorta [CLICKS TONGUE.]
Like, take a peek in the car? Mm.
[ELECTRO-HIP-HOP PLAYS.]
So tell us about this, uh dubby.
It's just a blanket, hand-knit.
You come across any, uh, hand-knit dubbys? Maybe if you were a little more specific.
Sure it's, um, worsted merino wool - with a drop-stitch pattern.
- Uh-huh.
- Color? - Pink.
Uh-huh.
You know, it's really not that big of a deal.
Yeah, we got people waiting who are going to be worried.
Oh, no, no, no, no.
I got your dubby.
- Oh.
- Yeah.
It's just, uh, [AHEM.]
it's in the basement.
[WHISPERS.]
Oh, sweet Jesus.
Well, go get it, man.
Go get the dubby.
Oh, and, uh, you.
Go help him.
But he can get it himself, right? Well, yeah, he could, but that's no fun.
- I'll go with you.
- No.
You go next.
No one's going anywhere.
Just keep the dubby, okay? Why don't you sit down? Sit down! Oh.
You think 'cause you all have guns that you're in charge.
That's adorable.
This guy's hilarious, huh? [LAUGHING.]
[LIGHTLY EDGY MUSIC.]
Do you know who I am? Hm.
Prettiest little mommy I've ever seen.
Well, thank you very much.
But, no.
I'm the reason you exist.
I bring you the pills.
Without me, none of you would be here.
None of this would be there.
This lovely home.
With its old world charm and what was it that you liked? - Uh, uh, just the porch.
- Yeah, the porch.
See, all this goes away the second you disrespect me.
And you know what I really don't like? The idea that any one of us would want to go to your basement.
Nowadays, that is really not cool.
I mean was it ever? No, it wasn't.
So what do you want to do here? You wanna make it personal or you wanna keep it professional? Wallets, phones.
Seems fair.
- I didn't think it would - Mm-mm.
- At first he didn't seem so - No.
Hey, where have you been? I got held up.
The Feds, our buddy, he opened up a thing.
- What's a thing, Stan? - An IA deal, or whatever.
I literally have no idea what you're saying.
Internal Affairs, okay? They investigate dirty cops.
- For what? - The pen cap, Ruby.
What is wrong with you? I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I tried to call you.
- I was trying to text you.
- I lost my phone.
This is bad, right? How many guys are they looking at? I don't know, I guess everybody who worked inside - the evidence room.
- Right.
I mean, you think it's protocol or you think - he knows something now? - I don't know.
I-I just don't know how tweaked I need to be.
You know, I mean, this could mean serious jail time, Ruby, if they know it's me.
You know? But how could they, you know? There was no one else in the evidence room.
I made sure of that.
And I wore gloves.
[SOUND OF VOICE FADING.]
Stan.
It's gonna be okay.
[PHONE BUZZING.]
It's Dean.
[MUZAK PLAYS.]
Oh, hey, is that the Princess Pink? Oh, yeah, it's the last one.
Sorry.
No, it's okay.
You know what? Can I just have it? I I'm having an emergency.
You have a yarn emergency? I lost my daughter's favorite blankie that she sleeps with every single night, and I can't get it back, so I need to knit a whole new one that looks just like the old one in that exact color.
Well, I would love to help you.
Thank you so much.
But, I promised Kevin I would knit him a new scarf.
- Is Kevin your son? - My cat.
Ah.
- Didn't know cats wore scarves.
- Kevin does.
Huh.
Do you think Kevin would consider wearing a scarf in a different color? This is his favorite.
Ah.
I don't mean to be disrespectful, it's just it's my child, you know? Oh, I get it.
I mean, Kevin is like my child.
No, no, no, no.
That is not no.
He is not a child, he is not a person, he is a cat, Who would probably eat your face off if he didn't have food for, like, five minutes.
[CLUB MUSIC PLAYS.]
Hey! What are you doing here? My taxes.
What does it look like? No, I you just never come for B-day drinks.
- It's someone's birthday? - Megan's 40th.
Who? Frozen foods? Megan? We got her this hilarious card, it says, um, "You're not getting older.
You're just increasing your value!" - That's incredible.
- You want to sign it? Uh, excuse me, excuse me.
Hi, yeah, um, can I get a margarita? Um, hold the lime juice and, uh, the triple sec.
And the sour mix.
- So just tequila? - Yeah, and could you, uh, put it in a shot glass and throw it on the birthday girl's tab? Thanks.
[SLOW TEMPO MUSIC PLAYS.]
What? Nothing.
I'm not going to have sex with you.
Huh.
Yeah, I know for some reason all this seems to scream that I'm real down to party, but I'm actually just a regular person who's trying to get real drunk.
I've had a week.
I'm Noah.
Hey, Noah.
I'm Ariana Grande.
I just started at Fine and Frugal.
[SNORTS.]
- Why would you do that? - Well, I needed a job.
What, and the coal mine wasn't hiring? - [LAUGHS.]
- Because I'm telling you, there is literally nothing worse.
Like, minimum wage, minimum benefits.
Won't even let you drop a deuce on company time.
I can't go in public anyway.
Well, it's good news for you because they make you clock out.
[SCOFFS.]
Place is run by fascists.
Excuse me.
- What about the managers? - [BITTER LAUGH.]
Pfff.
[BELCHES.]
Noah, sweet Noah.
Noah! - It's that bad, huh? - Mm.
Just imagine, if you will, rounding up the saddest little losers on the entire planet perverts, knuckle-draggers, and rapists.
That is who they hire, every time, without fail.
Well, I'm really looking forward to it.
I think it's gonna be fun.
That's sad.
So what are you? No, no, don't tell me.
Let me guess.
Mm.
Produce? You've really got a whole, "I've thrown away everything in my life," vibe.
I'm the new manager.
[MUTTERS.]
We do use real crab in the crab salad.
I love crab.
Me too.
Are you Annie? Mm-mm.
Is there an Annie Marks here? Oh, she's right here! - Hey, Annie.
- You have a call.
Thanks.
- Excuse me.
- Yeah.
Hello.
[POLICE RADIO CHATTER.]
[SOMBER MUSIC.]
Dean! - I tried to call you.
- What happened? - You didn't answer your phone.
- What's going on? We can't find Jane.
- Okay, where were you? - Okay, I was, uh, I was making dinner.
- And you didn't see anything - No, the kids were all - Or hear anything? - They were running around.
- Well, the news was on.
- And you were watching them? - Yes! - Or were you watching TV? I really hate the way you're speaking to me right now.
- Did you look everywhere? - Kids get lost, Beth.
No, parents lose them! - You're putting this on me? - No - You weren't even here, as always.
- I know.
Why don't you ask Mr.
Neck Tats? - What are you talking about? - Huh? Maybe he has an idea - where your daughter is.
- Are you suggesting that he took our child? Oh, I'm so stupid! He shot me in my own living room.
You gotta draw the line somewhere, right? How has it never occurred to you that what you're doing is going to come back and bite us in the ass.
[DOOR OPENS, SLAMS.]
- Where're you going? - I'm coming with you.
- They took our wallets, right? - Uh-uh, don't.
So they know everything.
They know who we are, - they know where we live.
- Don't go there.
- She could be anywhere.
- It hasn't been that long.
I have so many pictures of those kids on my phone.
Beth, we're gonna find her.
Son of a bitch, where are my keys? Honey, they're in your hand.
Okay, you guys stay here just in case she comes back.
Janey! Janey! I just cannot believe this is happening.
- Jane! - We're gonna find her, man.
Like, I am freaking out right now, man.
Janey! - Jane! - Janey! Jane! We gotta stop this guy.
[SYNTH-POP PLAYS.]
Do you know what I'm talking about? Yeah.
[DRAMATIC VOCALIZING.]
Got to go over there, okay? Right now.
They've got Jane.
- What are you talking about? - They took my kid! - Who took your kid? - The guys with the drugs in the house.
- Your colleagues.
- Our colleagues.
- Okay, whatever.
- Why would they do that? I don't know! I pissed them off! You went in the house.
So? So what, Dean? I can't just arrest the guy.
That's not what I'm saying.
Okay, what are you saying? What do you think this is, huh? Some kind of hobby? You make a little extra cash selling Herbalife while you still drive carpool and play dance mom? My daughter needed something in the car.
- Who cares? - I do! - I'm a mother! - You're a drug dealer! You move pills and you wash cash.
That's what you do.
That's who you are, and if you mess up at that you go to jail or you die.
Get your head straight.
They didn't take your daughter.
How do you know? There no money in that.
Me and a couple of your cop buddies.
We end this guy.
Hey, she couldn't have gone too far, okay? Let's look over by the swings.
Janey! [VOCALIZING.]
Sadie's not answering her phone.
You tried her friend? She said they never had plans.
Why don't you go? What about Beth? I'll stay.
- Go.
You should go.
- Okay.
- Go! - Okay, okay.
Just just call me later, okay? [ALICE PHOEBE LOU'S "SHE" PLAYS.]
She She She didn't want to lose her desire She She She She She looked out to the horizon She said I wanna go to Mars [CLATTERING.]
And this This planet ain't ours She said I want to go to Mars And this, this planet ain't ours Hi.
Hi.
Look at that suitcase.
Your traveling game is on point.
I mean, You got your friends, gummy bears.
What more do you need? So where you headed? Big Apple? Vegas? Hogwarts? I'm not allowed to cross the street.
Well, then the closet is a smart choice.
Your mom's busy with work, huh? Well, we have been friends for a long ass time.
Before you even got here.
Before your brothers, your sister.
Before iPads? Before iPads.
Way back.
The thing about your mom that you should know whenever you need her, no matter what's going on, She's just you know she's just there.
[DOOR OPENS, CLOSES.]
- Jane! - Jane? - In here.
- [RUNNING FOOTSTEPS.]
- Thank you.
- Come to Dad.
Come here.
Come here, baby.
[DOOR OPENING.]
- Oh, my God.
- Here we go.
Where have you been? Told you I went to the movies.
That's funny, because I tweeted at Roxie who Facebooked Mia who DM'd Paul who said that he was having mango boba with both Girl Jordan and Boy Jordan at Noodle World, so I know that's total bull! - Oh, so now I'm the liar? - Yes, correct! I went with Nancy.
Thought you'd say no.
I don't care, but I have to know that you're safe.
Okay.
Guess I'm that mom.
Okay.
Don't ever do that again.
Hey, Sadie? Do you have, like, maybe an ETA? On what? When you'll be my kid again? I'm really trying to give you your space but, um, gotta be honest, it's kinda killing me.
I don't know.
Okay.
Good night.
[CLOONEY'S "EVERYBODY LOVES A DREAM" PLAYS.]
There is one for you I know Everybody loves a dream, crazy as that dream may seem I like snacks, so I feel like that's how people look at this.
I like fruit with my treats, so like I'm totally down with this blueberry.
I do like that there's a large assortment of bite-size - Good morning.
- Hi.
Hi.
Did you pre-deuce? Because, you know, company time.
Look, um, I think I should save you some trouble and just quit right now.
No I was tot I'm kidding.
I mean, you can deuce whenever you want on company time.
Will you stop saying that? Yeah, you started that, though.
Okay, um, here's the thing.
I had, like, a really terrible relationship with the last manager here.
Okay.
Was he a pervert, rapist, or knuckle-dragger? Depended on the day.
- Wow.
- Yeah.
- Okay.
- Um, so if you're gonna just torture me for the next six months, I really think it's better for both of us if I just cut my losses and move on.
I don't think you should leave.
- Why not? - Well, for one you've got a great attitude, and I feel like we could really use that kind of school spirit around here.
- Funny.
- Yeah.
Okay, you know what? Um, you seem super smart, you're funny as hell, and I just feel like I would have a lot less fun if you weren't here.
I don't want to clock in anymore.
So don't.
I trust you.
I don't want to pay for my daily donut.
I'm not counting 'em.
I don't want to bag.
I'm a cashier.
Right, that's why we have baggers.
Why are you being so cool? Because you deserve better than this place.
Am I wrong? I I do have, um, I have one question, though.
What do you want? [BOTH GRUNTING, MOANING.]
Oh, my God.
This violates so many codes.
Shut up! - HR, health, morality.
- Shut up! - And just common decency.
- Shut up! [BOTH LAUGHING.]
[CHILDREN LAUGHING.]
All right, Emma.
Here it comes.
Is someone moving this one? - Here's one - Annie's shoes! - Annie's school! - [LAUGHING.]
All right, Jane, it's your turn.
- [TIMBER TIMBRE'S "RUN FROM ME" PLAYS.]
- Run from me, darling - Oh! - Run, my good wife Anything good? Run from me, darling For you, Elizabeth.
You better run for your life Run from me, baby Run, my good wife Run from me, darling - Bye, Daddy.
- Bye.
Hey, baby.
Have a good day.
For your life Run, run [WHISPERING.]
They're giving us lie detectors.
Run Run Run Run [VOCALIZING.]
Run Run Run Run Run Run Run Run Run Run Can you meet me right now? [SLOW COUNTRY MUSIC PLAYS.]
Each time I see you I contemplate What I love most of all Your swinging gait