Helluva Boss (2019) s02e07 Episode Script
Mammon's Magnificent Musical Mid-Season Special
1
ANNOUNCER: Alright, folks! Give it up
for the king of all things greeeen!
Hell's number one clown!
The money-maker himself!
The sin you all looove most:
Mammon, King of Greeeed!
- Heya, implings!
How're you little [HONK] doing tonight?
I hope you're ready
for the best fucking show
you will ever see
in your shit lives!
[Chanting]
Mammon, Mammon, Mammon!
Right.
I got tons of really fuckin' cool shit
for you 'ere tonight, but first,
How many of you worthless bitches
wanna be big clowns like me someday?
FIZZAROLLI: I do, I do!
BLITZO: Me, me, me, me, me!
- Well, I'm happy to announce that
I will be starting up a new, yearly
clown pageant!
CROWD: YEEEAAAHH!!
MAMMON: You know-
Like one 'a them fucked up
beauty contests
But for clowns,
so it's better!
Just for all you aspiring,
clown kids out there!
A new chance to work with me, Mammon!
MAMMON: And be the new face
of my clown-ish brand!
I can't wait to see all the new talent
I can exploi- u-um- fuck.
Wait, I mean enjoy [nervous laughter]
uh, watching me grow my empire!
Also, if you're a chick,
maybe give up on your dreams now.
Cause I'm not gonna lie:
women just ain't funny.
ANYWAY!
My plan is to find the
new face of my brand, YEAH!
So they gotta bring the good shit!
The winner will get to be like
the son I never had,
and I'll be like the stepdad
that will love you when it's convenient!
- Wow!
- You might be a lunchbox, an action
figure, Saturday morning cartoon.
Hell, I might even make a sex robot of ya!
I don't know!
I mean, if we'll make money, sure.
But it's not weird.
You're weird, you sick fuck!
And if you say it's explolitation, fuck you!
It's not exploitation!
If you think that then you're a dickhead.
Anyway, CLOWNS!!
CROWD: ALRIGHT LET'S GO, YEEAAA-
BLITZO: Alright, I'm gonna say it
That was too many clowns.
- I have to win that pageant someday.
Can you imagine how amazing it would be
to get to work with <i>him</i>?
- What's the point? Isn't being the star
of our imp circus enough?
Plenty of people already know who you are, Fizz.
You don't need to go work for Mammon like some
creepy mascot.
- It's not about that!
It's getting to work with my idol.
I just love that he's giving someone new
the chance to be in the spotlight!
He's an inspiration.
- Well he's- definitely something alright.
I mean I dunno, was it worth all our savings
just to have him put on an over-hyped commercial,
and then bitch about taxes, and then assault us
with clowns, vomit, and pass out on stage?
- [Laughs] So worth it!
[Sighs] Blitzo, do you think I
could win if I worked really hard?
- I think
I think if anyone's gonna be the new
clown face on <i>everything</i>-
[laughs] it'll be you, Fizz.
FAN: Holy shit, you're Fizzarolli!
Oh MAN! Your stuff is great!!
- [Nervously] Oh- hey there.
Thank you, I appreciate that.
Woah- oh- okay.
- After seeing your shows,
I wanted to get into clown performing, too!
I'm really good!!
- [Awkward chuckling]
- Hey aren't you that creep who's always
trying to sniff around our dressing rooms?
- I have the best idea for a duo performance
between us, that should spice up your act.
Picture this:
We start it like a romantic,
ballroom dance or a-
BLITZO: Dude, weird fuckin' pitch. Fuck off!
- I was talking to the clown, asshole!
I'm sorry Fizzie, I'm not normally
so aggressive, I promise.
I've just waited my whole life
for an opportunity like this!
With your fame, and my raw,
undiscovered talent, I know we can-
- Hey shit-dick, beat it now
or I'll make ya swallow your fangs!
Fizz! You don't want me to leave, right?
Tell him you don't want me to go!
FIZZAROLLI: I- uhm-
We have to go now. Thanks though!
- Eugh! Fiiizz!
FIZZAROLLIIII!
FAN: Fine! Fuck you!
You think you're better
than me you elitist prick?
Your act's fucking trash anyways!
- [interrupting] Cheeeese and hot sauce Fizz,
your fans are something else.
- What if my acts <i>are</i> trash?
What if I'm never good enough?
- Hey, hey don't let one asshole
get to you, 'kay?
You're- you are plenty good enough.
- But I have to be perfect.
[Blitzo groans] Do you?
- I'll just have to keep practicing,
and someday, maybe,
I'll be good enough for M-
- It's me, Mammon!
And I'm here to announce
the amazing new brand:
Fizzie!!
We got a Fizzie for every occasion!
We got fluffy, toy Fizzie,
fireman Fizzie,
therapist Fizzie,
wait in line for you Fizzie,
doctor Fizzie: beeps every time
it senses cancer!
Fat Fizzie, skinny Fizzie,
so many Fizzies!
And if you wanna fuck 'em, you can!
We got Fizzies for the kids,
Fizzies for the teens,
and Fizzies for you sick,
fucking degenerate adults!
We got 'em all!
All based on my new face, Fizzieee!
- That's me! [Uncomfortable laughter]
- Buy yours now! Do it!
- Oh <i>fuck</i>, Mammon is gonna notice that.
Ozzie! Where did my foundation go?!
- This is the 10th year in a row you've
done this supid pageant, Froggie.
And you win everytime!
How come you're always so dead set on this?
- I wanna make Mammon proud, okay?
He's- really passionate about
the craft of clown.
He expects perfection,
so I- I gotta be perfect.
- Fizz, you ain't perfect! Nobody is!
How abooout, you sit this one out,
and let someone else take the spotlight?
You deserve a break.
Or a vacation, where you don't have to
fend off creeps the entire time.
- [Scoffs] I had to fend of creeps <i>
before</i> the robots,
I just have thirstier ones, now.
Besides, I just-
have to do this!
- Lemme rephrase:
I don't like how many creeps you have
now, thanks to Mammon.
And <i>I</i> don't like designing
sex toys with your likeness for him!
Pretty sure <i>you</i> feel the same.
- I just don't think about it,
a toy is a toy!
Look, Ozz, I'm fine.
Working for Mammon is a big deal to me.
He's been my idol since I was five,
I can't just- not compete!
I'd be letting him down!
Th-the fans down!
- Mammon can eat my ass.
In a bad way.
Fizz, I've known that guy since the
start of Hell, and
He. Fucking. Sucks. Always has!
He doesn't even do clown shit anymore.
[Sighs]
I just don't want you doing
all this for someone's approval.
Sometimes heroes let you down.
- I know, Ozz. But this- i-is for me.
I don't wanna lose.
[Eating sounds]
- [Mouth full] Yello?
- Is this- Fizz's former bestie,
then lifelong enemy,
then recent hero, now newly
rekindled sort of friend, Blitzø?
- Ehn, that is a weird way to put it,
but eeyup, that's me.
- This is Asmodeus.
- Oh shit, the big Ozz himself!
Heh, is there a reason you're
calling me on the weekend
Your sin- sinness? Sinfulness? Sin-
[stammering] Royal, big man?
- You've lived rent free in
Fizz's head for years,
so I can't help feel he values
your take on things.
- Yeah I was the one who usually
had the stronger opinions. Yeah like,
like one time, he tried convincing
me that juggling was cool,
but it's only a little cool at best.
- Look, he's deadset on re-entering
Greed's yearly clown pageant.
- [Sarcastically] Wow,
big fucking surprise there.
I was hoping to have some-
backup in convincing him that
this thing is a waste of time.
- What? why?
Doesn't he always win?
- 'Cause Mammon is a selfish,
manipulative, piece of shit!
And Fizz doesn't listen to me
when I try to tell him that.
- Well my special skills are killing
things without giving fucks-
and pointing out people's flaaaws
Alright, count me in!
- Hup- hup- Hey!
[Crowd cheering]
BLITZØ: <i>Fuck!</i>
CROWD: We love you Fizz!
Yeah, baby, yeah!!
BLITZØ: Wow, I have not been
to a crowd event in years.
- Can you remind me why you're here, again?
ASMODEUS: I uuuh- invited him.
To help you, with extra security.
You know your fans.
Since <i>I</i> can't be with you,
I felt he'd be the next best thing.
- <i>He'd</i> be the next best thing?
- Well he kept you safe
when I wasn't able to,
so I trust that.
[High-pitched laugh]
Ha- hmm.
- [Grumbling]
Mmm-hmm. L'il sus, babe.
CROWD: You're doing an
awesome job, Fizzarolli!
BLITZØ: Come on, it's
just like old times.
I'll make sure no one gives you shit, today.
- You mean besides you?
- Aaay, there he is!
Now how's my bright, shiny,
brand baby doing?
Ready to reclaim your
win another year? Yeah?
- [Muffled] You know it, Mammon sir.
- Goooood, cause, you know,
I saw your competition,
and it's pretty stiff, right?
You are gonna have to try
extra hard like- fixin' that posture.
Not gonna lie, you're looking
a bit chungo, yeah?
Maybe lose a few so we don't gotta
make any more adjustments to the Fizzies.
People like 'em skinny as FUCK.
- Oh- right, sir. Of course!
I'll work on that.
- What?!
- Oh. And who's this dumpster-diver
ya got here with ya?
BLITZØ: Hi, yes, nice to meet you,
I'm the one who saw through your
fake-ass bullshit from the day
I had to spend all my savings on the shit
covered, dick show you called a performance.
Thanks for that, by the way.
- Haha- ha- ignore him, sir. He's uh-
he's like this all the time.
He thinks he's funny.
- Offended.
- Riiight, yeah.
You can shut your [HONK] ass mouth, boy.
I'll see you on stage!
And don't forget to
fuckin' smile Fizzarolli.
The smile is the face people like to
seeee froooom you!
BLITZØ: Wow that guy sucks so hard.
- Look Blitzø,
I don't know why Ozz brought you here,
but can you at <i>least</i>
not talk back to my boss?!
I need this gig!
- Why? Don't you have the
world's best sugar daddy?
- I just need it, okay?!
[Sighs]
Smile inside and out.
CROWD: We love you, Fizz!
CROWD: Ready for another win, Fizz?
- Oh, pfft- well,
I don't wanna assume,
but as always I have an act that's
without a doubt gonna-
GLITZ: Fucking lose.
GLAM: Fucking lose.
[Gasps]
- Oooh, fun.
You gals gonna be competing as well?
That's really nice.
- You can shut up now you fugly imp.
- Yeah, see we didn't come to chat.
We came to win.
- Wow, what <i>attractive</i> attitudes you got.
- Like we care what your opinion is Fizza- ah-
- rotty!
- Shut up, I was thinking of one!
- Should've been faster.
- Whore!
- Slow-ass, bitch.
BLITZØ: You know it's pretty telling
that you snatches can't even
keep your stupid mirror schtick together.
It ain't cute.
- We don't need to.
- We put our energy towards our performance.
- And winning Mammon's favor.
- Oh, well. I look forward to seeing what
you do, and may the best clown w-
GLAM: We plan to.
GLITZ: We plan to. [laughs]
- Win.
[Music starts]
- Aw man, I didn't a rat's ass about this competition,
but Christ on a stick Fizz,
pile drive those sluts.
ANNOUNCER: We've certainly got some
quality up here tonight, folks.
Will Mr. 10 years running come out on top?
Or is it time for fresh meat?
Juggling, it's objectively cool ♪
Our returning champ is nobody's fool ♪
But what's this? ♪
The twins bring it up to the wire ♪
Also, they're on fire ♪
Points for style
(Points for style) ♪
The crowd goes wild
(Crowd goes wild) ♪
It's the pie gag
and the twins want a taste, ♪
but what's this? ♪
It's Fizz in the face ♪
He takes the cake and he eats it, too ♪
He's hungry to win,
and he's covered in goo ♪
That's point for cream
the crowd screams ♪
Ba-ba-ballons he's pumping them out ♪
From where I'm sittin'
you can hear the crowd ♪
Not give a shit cause
the twins are here ♪
They're full of sin
and they're here to win ♪
Holy moly, things are not looking good
for Fizz-a-rolli ♪♪
MAMMON: And now you [HONK],
we are down to our clowny finalists.
My very own pride and joy,
the marketable son I never had,
Fizzarolli!
[Crowd cheering]
And the surprisingly funny women act that
made me reflect on my earlier statements:
The Glam Sisters!
Now we're gonna have a quick
meet 'n greet with our finalists,
so fork it over kitties!
You know it's worth it!
[Manaical laugh]
FIZZAROLLI: Hey Mammon, uh-
I may not be uh-
i-in the right headspace to
interact with the fans right now.
Is it okay if I maybe
skip the whole thing?
- Psh, of course not.
- I just really don't think that I'm really
[muffled speaking sounds]
- Aaaw, come on Fizzie my boy.
Don't you wanna do this for your fans?
Listen to them,
[Rabid crowd noises]
they're dying to meet you!
Dying to see your little Fizzie face!
You gotta make a good impression, mate.
The better the impression,
the more they'll want a piece of
you they can take home and fuck!
Don't you want that, Fizzie?
To be fucked?!
- Uhhh, I mean, [stammering]
no, not really actually.
- Fizzie, I-I'm not gonna lie,
I want that.
So come on, just do this
one thing for <i>me</i>.
- [Muffled] Okay, sir.
- Aw, you're a bloody legend, Fizzie!
They're gonna wanna fuck you,
like you're fucking my heart
with joooy right now!
Now get out there and make me proud,
you stupid, little, [HONK].
[Fizzarolli coughing]
BLITZØ: Wow Fizz,
you let him talk to you like that?
You got some kinda secret kink I
should know about or something?
- It's just how he is.
- I mean shit, if he talked to <i>me</i> that way,
- [Groans] Ugh, it's fine.
Heya folks, where ya from?
Oh Lust, love it there, obviously.
Wet dreamsville, hah!
Best pharmacies in Hell!
Ragesburg well,
[Southern accent]
Nice to meet cha, partner.
Ha ha, I don't do accents. Fun!
Ah, nice to meet you, too!
Thank you so much for coming to the show.
[Crowd chanting]
Fizz! Fizz! Fizz! Fizz!
- I hope you're excited for the biiig finale!
FAN: Boo! Boo! Sellout piece of shit!
- Uh- wh- c-come again?
FAN: Ughh, you're act is such
fucking trash; always has been.
Except now,
I have to see your smug face
plastered on everything, everywhere!
And, you can't read all
about it on my review blog:
fuck-Fizz-but-not-in-a-sexy-way
dot-compainer, dot-com, dot-org, dot-gov.
- Hah, well, anyway folks heh.
- You're not even a clown anymore.
All you do is work at that
overpriced, sleaze joint,
and then every year you
come back here to put us
through the same tired, old routine.
Is there a single original
idea in that head?
- I uh- uh- uuuh- [shaky laugh]
- You fucking suck, and so do your products.
Your sex-bots can't even
get me off right, you know-
[Blitzø grunts]
What? Still think you're
too good to even talk to me?
Still gotta get this chump
to stand in for you?
You're fucking pathetic.
To think, what we could've
been together if
<i>you</i> hadn't been too up
your own ass to listen! Ugh!
- Yeah, one more word out of you twat stan
Imma blow your head clean open
in front of all these fucking kids.
FIZZAROLLI: [Hyperventilating]
- [Manaical laughter]
You're not done with me, Fizzarolli.
FIZZAROLLI: [Hyperventilating]
- Hey, hey- woah woah, you good?
- [Startled scream]
- Yeah, mate? You alright Fizzie?
- Yeah- yeah, yeah I'm fine.
I'm- I'm fine, yeah, heh.
- Tell you what,
I'll let the hotties go on before ya,
give ya some time to get your shit together.
Get your shit together, Fizzie.
You're a bloody legend.
You're a bloody legend, ya bitch!
BLITZØ: Oh shit, that guy
got to you, didn't he?
You know you don't have to-
- I do Blitzø, I do.
- Fucking hell, Fizz this is stupid.
That clown shit is not this important.
- This job is!
Without it I'll lose-
GLAM: Everything.
GLITZ: Everything! [Evil laughter]
- Seriously that guy is a fucking dick,
and he's using you for everything
cause you're likable, and
he's a fucking trash fire.
- No, he's not! He's just trying
to make me good enough.
- Good enough for what?
[Pop music starts]
- Get ready for the new look ♪
New rhythym and a new hook ♪
Not here to cuddle ♪
more like leave you in a puddle ♪
Little double trouble got ya boy shook ♪
- Ha, ha, here's the sitch' ♪
[Rapping]
Feed sin with ya taxes ♪
[Rapping]
Greedy greed wins where the cash is ♪
Wanna sell my funny, slutty
body to the masses ♪
[Together]
Feelin' lonely on a Saturday night ♪
Well money can't buy happiness ♪
But it can rent you paradise ♪
Give in to temptation ♪
Take your time I'll be patient ♪
Be my little piggy let me ♪
scratch your dirty itch ♪
I'm a klown, bitch ♪
Fix up your frown, bitch ♪
Gimme the crown, bitch ♪
You hear that sound ♪
You're goin' down ♪
Cause I'm a klown, bitch ♪
- Get ready for a- ♪♪
[Heavy breathing]
- O-Okay, Fizz. You can do this.
You can do this. You can do this.
It's okay, it's fine. You have
a show to do soon, it's fine.
[Gasps] Oh- oh no, oh- no, no, no, no.
[Strained] No, no-
[Hyperventilating]
It's okay, you're fine. You need to be fine.
ASMODEUS: Fizz! Are you okay?
- Why does everyone keep asking me that??
You shouldn't be here, Asmodeus.
I'm fine, please!
- [Struggling grunts]
[Mumbling] Come on.
Froggie.
- I'm fine! I'm fine!
Just needed a minute!
- You aren't okay, you're shaking.
- Ozz, I'm about to go on for the finale,
I need some time to mentally prepare.
- Fizz, come on!
I'm trying to talk to you,
You can't force yourself to-
- [Interrupting] Ozz,
I have to do this.
This could be my last chance to
prove that I'm still good at this.
That it's not over!
That I'm still good enough!
It's not just Mammon.
I'm fine.
I just- need to be better.
- You think you need to be this
perfect, model performer,
but that's because Mammon is
always forcing that image onto you!
- But everything I have is because of Mammon.
I have this life. I have security. I have you.
Without Mammon I wouldn't be-
I wouldn't have-
I just- I have to win this.
- Fizzie.
- I don't want to lose.
Because I feel like if I lose this,
I lose you.
- [Scoffs] How would you lose me?
Come on, Froggie.
- You're with me because
of who I am at my best!
I'm barely worthy of
working with a King of Sin
cause <i>THIS</i> is who I am.
Without all this, I'm just nothing,
and Mammon made me this.
I owe it all to him.
- Fizz, Mammon didn't do shit.
You already were this.
You'd be this no matter what!
You are the most inspiring
demon I have ever known,
and meeting you was the best
thing that ever happened to me.
I adore your inventiveness,
your attitude,
your resilience.
And-
you're just the cutest little thing alive.
[Fizzarolli laughs]
Also,
you are a waaaay better performer
than Mammon ever was,
and thaaat's just facts.
- It's- It's hard, you know?
To t-trust that.
I- I just-
I love you so much, Ozzie.
- And I love you too, Fizzarolli.
And I would whether you
win this bullshit or not.
- Well, I kinda spent my whole warmup
[Music starts]
having a panic attack, haha.
- Crooked horn, crooked grin. ♪
You're a crooked, horny, ♪
freaky, little joker. ♪
- You're a deadly sin. ♪
- And I don't wanna hear
another goddamn word about ♪
Win, win, win. ♪
Oh, oh, oh, I think you're messy, ♪
but I'm messy, too. ♪
[Guitar strumming]
No, no, no, I wouldn't clean a thing ♪
when I ended up with you. ♪
[Guitar strumming]
- I don't know you waste your time on me ♪
[Spoken]
- Baby, all I got is time. ♪
- When there's so much I'll never be. ♪
- [Laughs]
Holy shit, babe. ♪
There's so much you can't see. ♪
- What can't I see? ♪
[Together]
Oh, oh, ♪
ASMODEUS: you're a broken record, ♪
don't you ever shut your
crooked little lips ♪
- [Spoken] What do you want me
to do with my lips? Heh-heh. ♪
[Together] Oh, oh, oh
you sure are lucky ♪
[Together] You make my crooked heart do ♪
[Together] freaky, little flips. ♪
- You make my crooked heart do ♪
"Froggie" little flips. ♪♪
- Ribbit. [Laughs]
[Sighs happily]
[Kissing sounds]
FAN: You're gonna listen to me now, BITCH.
- Oh so you two <i>are</i> an item?
Well congratulations
you fucking hypocrites.
MAMMON: Uuuh- D-Don't worry folks.
I-I'm sure Fizzarolli will be out soon
with a grand fucking performance.
[Explosion]
[Applause and cheers]
[Dramatic music starts]
I have wasted time. ♪
I have seen my use. ♪
I have packaged and
sold every part of me! ♪
Suffered a lifetime of abuse. ♪
I have lost myself. ♪
I have worshipped at your feet. ♪
And here I am standing
on top of the world ♪
with some bitches to defeat. ♪
I've played the game, I've won it all. ♪
They've screamed my name, ♪
they bought the doll. ♪
I've seized the day, ♪
now I've got one thing left to say-ay-ay, ♪
Fuck you! ♪
Here's my two-minutes notice, fuck you! ♪
Time to quit and smell the roses. ♪
Say goodbye, ♪
While I look you the in eye
and say, Fuck you! ♪
MAMMON: [Spoken] Interesting song.
I wonder what fuckin' this is about.
FIZZ: Fuckity, fuckity, fuckity fuckity you! ♪
ASMODEUS: [Spoken] It's about you.
MAMMON: [Spoken] Wait, what?
FIZZ: Fuck you! ♪
I have taken shit. ♪
Been crushed under your heel. ♪
I have suffered for profit ♪
and suckered for fame, ♪
made a fortune you could steal. ♪
I've had enough, I've hit the wall. ♪
I'm tired of taking your calls. ♪
It ends today, ♪
Now there's just one last thing to say-ay-ay, ♪
Fuck you! ♪
I wish I'd said it sooner, fuck you! ♪
Cut you off, just like a tumor! ♪
Hope you die, ♪
Kiss my ass goodbye, you cuck, fuck you! ♪
Eeugh-
[Circusy music]
Have you ever felt sick and tired ♪
of doing the same shit everyday
with your anger brewin' ♪
Eatin' shit for a boss that
you're sick of obeyin' ♪
If you ever felt the same
let me hear ya say it! ♪
[With ensemble]
Did you really think I was gonna stay? ♪
Spending life bent over
with your fist in my "a". ♪
Slander me, say I'll never
work in this town, ♪
If I stick around I'll be six more feet
under the ground! ♪
ENSEMBLE: (Fuck you!) ♪
FIZZ: Wo-oh-oh! ♪
- (Here's my two minute's notice, fuck you!) ♪
- Suck it, greedy bastard! ♪
- You're a fucking, ass clown! ♪
- (Time to quit and smell the roses!) ♪
[With ensemble]
Say goodbye, ♪
too late to apologize! ♪
So this is it, ♪
Mammon you sad sack of shit, ♪
Fuck yooou! ♪
- You bitch! ♪
Yeah!! ♪♪
Thank you all so much.
You know,
it's always been one of the greatest
thrills of my life performing.
And I'm so glad to bring
you all one, last show.
Cause now,
I quit!
- Pffbth! WHAT?!
QUIT?! You miserable piece of shit!
What do you mean quit?
- I meaaan, I quit. I'm done,
[Australian accent] G'day, mate!
- [Growling]
[Fizzarolli gasps]
ASMODEUS: Oh that, motherfucker.
MAMMON: [Growls] You fucking
ungrateful little shit!
[Growls intensify and
turn into a scream.]
I gave you everything!!
You are practically in my image!
I raised you like the son I didn't want!
ASMODEUS: [Growls] You'd better
back the fuck up, Mam.
- Ho-ly shit! I say, I say.
- Ha-ha, hooo.
Look who's acting like a big fuckin' hero.
Careful what you say, Ozzie.
Wouldn't want your little secret getting out,
would we?
- I don't care anymore!
- Ozz?
- Because if you let him quit,
I could tell everyone hereee that you-
- What? That I love him? Well I do!
CROWD: [Fangirling] I knew it, I knew it!
- Oh- uh. Shit. Ah- you dirty bitch.
You are gonna regret revealing that, Ozz.
[Sinister laugh]
[Fizzarolli growls]
[Laughing continues]
[Screaming]
[Sighs happily]
- So does that mean we win?
ACK!!
[Lovey-dovey giggling]
BLITZØ: So um,
who tops?
[Fizzarolli groans]
I'm a klown, bitch ♪
Fix up your frown, bitch ♪
Gimme the crown, bitch ♪
You hear that sound ♪
You're goin' down ♪
Cause I'm a klown, bitch ♪
GLAM: Special occasions splurge on the
urge to go make a mistake ♪
GLITZ: Give you a birthday reward
if you can afford all this cake ♪
GLAM: Dollar-by-dollar you got me
romance and lovin' is fake ♪
GLITZ: Max out your expense account ♪
GLITZ: You're paying for a- ♪
Klown, bitch ♪
GLITZ: (I'm a klown, bitch Imma klown bitch, yeah) ♪
Fix up your frown, bitch ♪
GLITZ: (Fix up ya frown bitch, fix ya frown, bitch) ♪
Gimme the crown, bitch ♪
GLITZ: (Gimme the crown, bitch, gimme that) ♪
You hear that sound
(uh) ♪
You're going down
(Yeah) ♪
Cause I'm a klown, bitch ♪
GLITZ: [Laughter] (Oh) ♪
Gimme the crown, bitch ♪
GLITZ: (Ooh) ♪
GLITZ: [Laughter]
Cause I'm a klown, bitch! ♪♪
ANNOUNCER: Alright, folks! Give it up
for the king of all things greeeen!
Hell's number one clown!
The money-maker himself!
The sin you all looove most:
Mammon, King of Greeeed!
- Heya, implings!
How're you little [HONK] doing tonight?
I hope you're ready
for the best fucking show
you will ever see
in your shit lives!
[Chanting]
Mammon, Mammon, Mammon!
Right.
I got tons of really fuckin' cool shit
for you 'ere tonight, but first,
How many of you worthless bitches
wanna be big clowns like me someday?
FIZZAROLLI: I do, I do!
BLITZO: Me, me, me, me, me!
- Well, I'm happy to announce that
I will be starting up a new, yearly
clown pageant!
CROWD: YEEEAAAHH!!
MAMMON: You know-
Like one 'a them fucked up
beauty contests
But for clowns,
so it's better!
Just for all you aspiring,
clown kids out there!
A new chance to work with me, Mammon!
MAMMON: And be the new face
of my clown-ish brand!
I can't wait to see all the new talent
I can exploi- u-um- fuck.
Wait, I mean enjoy [nervous laughter]
uh, watching me grow my empire!
Also, if you're a chick,
maybe give up on your dreams now.
Cause I'm not gonna lie:
women just ain't funny.
ANYWAY!
My plan is to find the
new face of my brand, YEAH!
So they gotta bring the good shit!
The winner will get to be like
the son I never had,
and I'll be like the stepdad
that will love you when it's convenient!
- Wow!
- You might be a lunchbox, an action
figure, Saturday morning cartoon.
Hell, I might even make a sex robot of ya!
I don't know!
I mean, if we'll make money, sure.
But it's not weird.
You're weird, you sick fuck!
And if you say it's explolitation, fuck you!
It's not exploitation!
If you think that then you're a dickhead.
Anyway, CLOWNS!!
CROWD: ALRIGHT LET'S GO, YEEAAA-
BLITZO: Alright, I'm gonna say it
That was too many clowns.
- I have to win that pageant someday.
Can you imagine how amazing it would be
to get to work with <i>him</i>?
- What's the point? Isn't being the star
of our imp circus enough?
Plenty of people already know who you are, Fizz.
You don't need to go work for Mammon like some
creepy mascot.
- It's not about that!
It's getting to work with my idol.
I just love that he's giving someone new
the chance to be in the spotlight!
He's an inspiration.
- Well he's- definitely something alright.
I mean I dunno, was it worth all our savings
just to have him put on an over-hyped commercial,
and then bitch about taxes, and then assault us
with clowns, vomit, and pass out on stage?
- [Laughs] So worth it!
[Sighs] Blitzo, do you think I
could win if I worked really hard?
- I think
I think if anyone's gonna be the new
clown face on <i>everything</i>-
[laughs] it'll be you, Fizz.
FAN: Holy shit, you're Fizzarolli!
Oh MAN! Your stuff is great!!
- [Nervously] Oh- hey there.
Thank you, I appreciate that.
Woah- oh- okay.
- After seeing your shows,
I wanted to get into clown performing, too!
I'm really good!!
- [Awkward chuckling]
- Hey aren't you that creep who's always
trying to sniff around our dressing rooms?
- I have the best idea for a duo performance
between us, that should spice up your act.
Picture this:
We start it like a romantic,
ballroom dance or a-
BLITZO: Dude, weird fuckin' pitch. Fuck off!
- I was talking to the clown, asshole!
I'm sorry Fizzie, I'm not normally
so aggressive, I promise.
I've just waited my whole life
for an opportunity like this!
With your fame, and my raw,
undiscovered talent, I know we can-
- Hey shit-dick, beat it now
or I'll make ya swallow your fangs!
Fizz! You don't want me to leave, right?
Tell him you don't want me to go!
FIZZAROLLI: I- uhm-
We have to go now. Thanks though!
- Eugh! Fiiizz!
FIZZAROLLIIII!
FAN: Fine! Fuck you!
You think you're better
than me you elitist prick?
Your act's fucking trash anyways!
- [interrupting] Cheeeese and hot sauce Fizz,
your fans are something else.
- What if my acts <i>are</i> trash?
What if I'm never good enough?
- Hey, hey don't let one asshole
get to you, 'kay?
You're- you are plenty good enough.
- But I have to be perfect.
[Blitzo groans] Do you?
- I'll just have to keep practicing,
and someday, maybe,
I'll be good enough for M-
- It's me, Mammon!
And I'm here to announce
the amazing new brand:
Fizzie!!
We got a Fizzie for every occasion!
We got fluffy, toy Fizzie,
fireman Fizzie,
therapist Fizzie,
wait in line for you Fizzie,
doctor Fizzie: beeps every time
it senses cancer!
Fat Fizzie, skinny Fizzie,
so many Fizzies!
And if you wanna fuck 'em, you can!
We got Fizzies for the kids,
Fizzies for the teens,
and Fizzies for you sick,
fucking degenerate adults!
We got 'em all!
All based on my new face, Fizzieee!
- That's me! [Uncomfortable laughter]
- Buy yours now! Do it!
- Oh <i>fuck</i>, Mammon is gonna notice that.
Ozzie! Where did my foundation go?!
- This is the 10th year in a row you've
done this supid pageant, Froggie.
And you win everytime!
How come you're always so dead set on this?
- I wanna make Mammon proud, okay?
He's- really passionate about
the craft of clown.
He expects perfection,
so I- I gotta be perfect.
- Fizz, you ain't perfect! Nobody is!
How abooout, you sit this one out,
and let someone else take the spotlight?
You deserve a break.
Or a vacation, where you don't have to
fend off creeps the entire time.
- [Scoffs] I had to fend of creeps <i>
before</i> the robots,
I just have thirstier ones, now.
Besides, I just-
have to do this!
- Lemme rephrase:
I don't like how many creeps you have
now, thanks to Mammon.
And <i>I</i> don't like designing
sex toys with your likeness for him!
Pretty sure <i>you</i> feel the same.
- I just don't think about it,
a toy is a toy!
Look, Ozz, I'm fine.
Working for Mammon is a big deal to me.
He's been my idol since I was five,
I can't just- not compete!
I'd be letting him down!
Th-the fans down!
- Mammon can eat my ass.
In a bad way.
Fizz, I've known that guy since the
start of Hell, and
He. Fucking. Sucks. Always has!
He doesn't even do clown shit anymore.
[Sighs]
I just don't want you doing
all this for someone's approval.
Sometimes heroes let you down.
- I know, Ozz. But this- i-is for me.
I don't wanna lose.
[Eating sounds]
- [Mouth full] Yello?
- Is this- Fizz's former bestie,
then lifelong enemy,
then recent hero, now newly
rekindled sort of friend, Blitzø?
- Ehn, that is a weird way to put it,
but eeyup, that's me.
- This is Asmodeus.
- Oh shit, the big Ozz himself!
Heh, is there a reason you're
calling me on the weekend
Your sin- sinness? Sinfulness? Sin-
[stammering] Royal, big man?
- You've lived rent free in
Fizz's head for years,
so I can't help feel he values
your take on things.
- Yeah I was the one who usually
had the stronger opinions. Yeah like,
like one time, he tried convincing
me that juggling was cool,
but it's only a little cool at best.
- Look, he's deadset on re-entering
Greed's yearly clown pageant.
- [Sarcastically] Wow,
big fucking surprise there.
I was hoping to have some-
backup in convincing him that
this thing is a waste of time.
- What? why?
Doesn't he always win?
- 'Cause Mammon is a selfish,
manipulative, piece of shit!
And Fizz doesn't listen to me
when I try to tell him that.
- Well my special skills are killing
things without giving fucks-
and pointing out people's flaaaws
Alright, count me in!
- Hup- hup- Hey!
[Crowd cheering]
BLITZØ: <i>Fuck!</i>
CROWD: We love you Fizz!
Yeah, baby, yeah!!
BLITZØ: Wow, I have not been
to a crowd event in years.
- Can you remind me why you're here, again?
ASMODEUS: I uuuh- invited him.
To help you, with extra security.
You know your fans.
Since <i>I</i> can't be with you,
I felt he'd be the next best thing.
- <i>He'd</i> be the next best thing?
- Well he kept you safe
when I wasn't able to,
so I trust that.
[High-pitched laugh]
Ha- hmm.
- [Grumbling]
Mmm-hmm. L'il sus, babe.
CROWD: You're doing an
awesome job, Fizzarolli!
BLITZØ: Come on, it's
just like old times.
I'll make sure no one gives you shit, today.
- You mean besides you?
- Aaay, there he is!
Now how's my bright, shiny,
brand baby doing?
Ready to reclaim your
win another year? Yeah?
- [Muffled] You know it, Mammon sir.
- Goooood, cause, you know,
I saw your competition,
and it's pretty stiff, right?
You are gonna have to try
extra hard like- fixin' that posture.
Not gonna lie, you're looking
a bit chungo, yeah?
Maybe lose a few so we don't gotta
make any more adjustments to the Fizzies.
People like 'em skinny as FUCK.
- Oh- right, sir. Of course!
I'll work on that.
- What?!
- Oh. And who's this dumpster-diver
ya got here with ya?
BLITZØ: Hi, yes, nice to meet you,
I'm the one who saw through your
fake-ass bullshit from the day
I had to spend all my savings on the shit
covered, dick show you called a performance.
Thanks for that, by the way.
- Haha- ha- ignore him, sir. He's uh-
he's like this all the time.
He thinks he's funny.
- Offended.
- Riiight, yeah.
You can shut your [HONK] ass mouth, boy.
I'll see you on stage!
And don't forget to
fuckin' smile Fizzarolli.
The smile is the face people like to
seeee froooom you!
BLITZØ: Wow that guy sucks so hard.
- Look Blitzø,
I don't know why Ozz brought you here,
but can you at <i>least</i>
not talk back to my boss?!
I need this gig!
- Why? Don't you have the
world's best sugar daddy?
- I just need it, okay?!
[Sighs]
Smile inside and out.
CROWD: We love you, Fizz!
CROWD: Ready for another win, Fizz?
- Oh, pfft- well,
I don't wanna assume,
but as always I have an act that's
without a doubt gonna-
GLITZ: Fucking lose.
GLAM: Fucking lose.
[Gasps]
- Oooh, fun.
You gals gonna be competing as well?
That's really nice.
- You can shut up now you fugly imp.
- Yeah, see we didn't come to chat.
We came to win.
- Wow, what <i>attractive</i> attitudes you got.
- Like we care what your opinion is Fizza- ah-
- rotty!
- Shut up, I was thinking of one!
- Should've been faster.
- Whore!
- Slow-ass, bitch.
BLITZØ: You know it's pretty telling
that you snatches can't even
keep your stupid mirror schtick together.
It ain't cute.
- We don't need to.
- We put our energy towards our performance.
- And winning Mammon's favor.
- Oh, well. I look forward to seeing what
you do, and may the best clown w-
GLAM: We plan to.
GLITZ: We plan to. [laughs]
- Win.
[Music starts]
- Aw man, I didn't a rat's ass about this competition,
but Christ on a stick Fizz,
pile drive those sluts.
ANNOUNCER: We've certainly got some
quality up here tonight, folks.
Will Mr. 10 years running come out on top?
Or is it time for fresh meat?
Juggling, it's objectively cool ♪
Our returning champ is nobody's fool ♪
But what's this? ♪
The twins bring it up to the wire ♪
Also, they're on fire ♪
Points for style
(Points for style) ♪
The crowd goes wild
(Crowd goes wild) ♪
It's the pie gag
and the twins want a taste, ♪
but what's this? ♪
It's Fizz in the face ♪
He takes the cake and he eats it, too ♪
He's hungry to win,
and he's covered in goo ♪
That's point for cream
the crowd screams ♪
Ba-ba-ballons he's pumping them out ♪
From where I'm sittin'
you can hear the crowd ♪
Not give a shit cause
the twins are here ♪
They're full of sin
and they're here to win ♪
Holy moly, things are not looking good
for Fizz-a-rolli ♪♪
MAMMON: And now you [HONK],
we are down to our clowny finalists.
My very own pride and joy,
the marketable son I never had,
Fizzarolli!
[Crowd cheering]
And the surprisingly funny women act that
made me reflect on my earlier statements:
The Glam Sisters!
Now we're gonna have a quick
meet 'n greet with our finalists,
so fork it over kitties!
You know it's worth it!
[Manaical laugh]
FIZZAROLLI: Hey Mammon, uh-
I may not be uh-
i-in the right headspace to
interact with the fans right now.
Is it okay if I maybe
skip the whole thing?
- Psh, of course not.
- I just really don't think that I'm really
[muffled speaking sounds]
- Aaaw, come on Fizzie my boy.
Don't you wanna do this for your fans?
Listen to them,
[Rabid crowd noises]
they're dying to meet you!
Dying to see your little Fizzie face!
You gotta make a good impression, mate.
The better the impression,
the more they'll want a piece of
you they can take home and fuck!
Don't you want that, Fizzie?
To be fucked?!
- Uhhh, I mean, [stammering]
no, not really actually.
- Fizzie, I-I'm not gonna lie,
I want that.
So come on, just do this
one thing for <i>me</i>.
- [Muffled] Okay, sir.
- Aw, you're a bloody legend, Fizzie!
They're gonna wanna fuck you,
like you're fucking my heart
with joooy right now!
Now get out there and make me proud,
you stupid, little, [HONK].
[Fizzarolli coughing]
BLITZØ: Wow Fizz,
you let him talk to you like that?
You got some kinda secret kink I
should know about or something?
- It's just how he is.
- I mean shit, if he talked to <i>me</i> that way,
- [Groans] Ugh, it's fine.
Heya folks, where ya from?
Oh Lust, love it there, obviously.
Wet dreamsville, hah!
Best pharmacies in Hell!
Ragesburg well,
[Southern accent]
Nice to meet cha, partner.
Ha ha, I don't do accents. Fun!
Ah, nice to meet you, too!
Thank you so much for coming to the show.
[Crowd chanting]
Fizz! Fizz! Fizz! Fizz!
- I hope you're excited for the biiig finale!
FAN: Boo! Boo! Sellout piece of shit!
- Uh- wh- c-come again?
FAN: Ughh, you're act is such
fucking trash; always has been.
Except now,
I have to see your smug face
plastered on everything, everywhere!
And, you can't read all
about it on my review blog:
fuck-Fizz-but-not-in-a-sexy-way
dot-compainer, dot-com, dot-org, dot-gov.
- Hah, well, anyway folks heh.
- You're not even a clown anymore.
All you do is work at that
overpriced, sleaze joint,
and then every year you
come back here to put us
through the same tired, old routine.
Is there a single original
idea in that head?
- I uh- uh- uuuh- [shaky laugh]
- You fucking suck, and so do your products.
Your sex-bots can't even
get me off right, you know-
[Blitzø grunts]
What? Still think you're
too good to even talk to me?
Still gotta get this chump
to stand in for you?
You're fucking pathetic.
To think, what we could've
been together if
<i>you</i> hadn't been too up
your own ass to listen! Ugh!
- Yeah, one more word out of you twat stan
Imma blow your head clean open
in front of all these fucking kids.
FIZZAROLLI: [Hyperventilating]
- [Manaical laughter]
You're not done with me, Fizzarolli.
FIZZAROLLI: [Hyperventilating]
- Hey, hey- woah woah, you good?
- [Startled scream]
- Yeah, mate? You alright Fizzie?
- Yeah- yeah, yeah I'm fine.
I'm- I'm fine, yeah, heh.
- Tell you what,
I'll let the hotties go on before ya,
give ya some time to get your shit together.
Get your shit together, Fizzie.
You're a bloody legend.
You're a bloody legend, ya bitch!
BLITZØ: Oh shit, that guy
got to you, didn't he?
You know you don't have to-
- I do Blitzø, I do.
- Fucking hell, Fizz this is stupid.
That clown shit is not this important.
- This job is!
Without it I'll lose-
GLAM: Everything.
GLITZ: Everything! [Evil laughter]
- Seriously that guy is a fucking dick,
and he's using you for everything
cause you're likable, and
he's a fucking trash fire.
- No, he's not! He's just trying
to make me good enough.
- Good enough for what?
[Pop music starts]
- Get ready for the new look ♪
New rhythym and a new hook ♪
Not here to cuddle ♪
more like leave you in a puddle ♪
Little double trouble got ya boy shook ♪
- Ha, ha, here's the sitch' ♪
[Rapping]
Feed sin with ya taxes ♪
[Rapping]
Greedy greed wins where the cash is ♪
Wanna sell my funny, slutty
body to the masses ♪
[Together]
Feelin' lonely on a Saturday night ♪
Well money can't buy happiness ♪
But it can rent you paradise ♪
Give in to temptation ♪
Take your time I'll be patient ♪
Be my little piggy let me ♪
scratch your dirty itch ♪
I'm a klown, bitch ♪
Fix up your frown, bitch ♪
Gimme the crown, bitch ♪
You hear that sound ♪
You're goin' down ♪
Cause I'm a klown, bitch ♪
- Get ready for a- ♪♪
[Heavy breathing]
- O-Okay, Fizz. You can do this.
You can do this. You can do this.
It's okay, it's fine. You have
a show to do soon, it's fine.
[Gasps] Oh- oh no, oh- no, no, no, no.
[Strained] No, no-
[Hyperventilating]
It's okay, you're fine. You need to be fine.
ASMODEUS: Fizz! Are you okay?
- Why does everyone keep asking me that??
You shouldn't be here, Asmodeus.
I'm fine, please!
- [Struggling grunts]
[Mumbling] Come on.
Froggie.
- I'm fine! I'm fine!
Just needed a minute!
- You aren't okay, you're shaking.
- Ozz, I'm about to go on for the finale,
I need some time to mentally prepare.
- Fizz, come on!
I'm trying to talk to you,
You can't force yourself to-
- [Interrupting] Ozz,
I have to do this.
This could be my last chance to
prove that I'm still good at this.
That it's not over!
That I'm still good enough!
It's not just Mammon.
I'm fine.
I just- need to be better.
- You think you need to be this
perfect, model performer,
but that's because Mammon is
always forcing that image onto you!
- But everything I have is because of Mammon.
I have this life. I have security. I have you.
Without Mammon I wouldn't be-
I wouldn't have-
I just- I have to win this.
- Fizzie.
- I don't want to lose.
Because I feel like if I lose this,
I lose you.
- [Scoffs] How would you lose me?
Come on, Froggie.
- You're with me because
of who I am at my best!
I'm barely worthy of
working with a King of Sin
cause <i>THIS</i> is who I am.
Without all this, I'm just nothing,
and Mammon made me this.
I owe it all to him.
- Fizz, Mammon didn't do shit.
You already were this.
You'd be this no matter what!
You are the most inspiring
demon I have ever known,
and meeting you was the best
thing that ever happened to me.
I adore your inventiveness,
your attitude,
your resilience.
And-
you're just the cutest little thing alive.
[Fizzarolli laughs]
Also,
you are a waaaay better performer
than Mammon ever was,
and thaaat's just facts.
- It's- It's hard, you know?
To t-trust that.
I- I just-
I love you so much, Ozzie.
- And I love you too, Fizzarolli.
And I would whether you
win this bullshit or not.
- Well, I kinda spent my whole warmup
[Music starts]
having a panic attack, haha.
- Crooked horn, crooked grin. ♪
You're a crooked, horny, ♪
freaky, little joker. ♪
- You're a deadly sin. ♪
- And I don't wanna hear
another goddamn word about ♪
Win, win, win. ♪
Oh, oh, oh, I think you're messy, ♪
but I'm messy, too. ♪
[Guitar strumming]
No, no, no, I wouldn't clean a thing ♪
when I ended up with you. ♪
[Guitar strumming]
- I don't know you waste your time on me ♪
[Spoken]
- Baby, all I got is time. ♪
- When there's so much I'll never be. ♪
- [Laughs]
Holy shit, babe. ♪
There's so much you can't see. ♪
- What can't I see? ♪
[Together]
Oh, oh, ♪
ASMODEUS: you're a broken record, ♪
don't you ever shut your
crooked little lips ♪
- [Spoken] What do you want me
to do with my lips? Heh-heh. ♪
[Together] Oh, oh, oh
you sure are lucky ♪
[Together] You make my crooked heart do ♪
[Together] freaky, little flips. ♪
- You make my crooked heart do ♪
"Froggie" little flips. ♪♪
- Ribbit. [Laughs]
[Sighs happily]
[Kissing sounds]
FAN: You're gonna listen to me now, BITCH.
- Oh so you two <i>are</i> an item?
Well congratulations
you fucking hypocrites.
MAMMON: Uuuh- D-Don't worry folks.
I-I'm sure Fizzarolli will be out soon
with a grand fucking performance.
[Explosion]
[Applause and cheers]
[Dramatic music starts]
I have wasted time. ♪
I have seen my use. ♪
I have packaged and
sold every part of me! ♪
Suffered a lifetime of abuse. ♪
I have lost myself. ♪
I have worshipped at your feet. ♪
And here I am standing
on top of the world ♪
with some bitches to defeat. ♪
I've played the game, I've won it all. ♪
They've screamed my name, ♪
they bought the doll. ♪
I've seized the day, ♪
now I've got one thing left to say-ay-ay, ♪
Fuck you! ♪
Here's my two-minutes notice, fuck you! ♪
Time to quit and smell the roses. ♪
Say goodbye, ♪
While I look you the in eye
and say, Fuck you! ♪
MAMMON: [Spoken] Interesting song.
I wonder what fuckin' this is about.
FIZZ: Fuckity, fuckity, fuckity fuckity you! ♪
ASMODEUS: [Spoken] It's about you.
MAMMON: [Spoken] Wait, what?
FIZZ: Fuck you! ♪
I have taken shit. ♪
Been crushed under your heel. ♪
I have suffered for profit ♪
and suckered for fame, ♪
made a fortune you could steal. ♪
I've had enough, I've hit the wall. ♪
I'm tired of taking your calls. ♪
It ends today, ♪
Now there's just one last thing to say-ay-ay, ♪
Fuck you! ♪
I wish I'd said it sooner, fuck you! ♪
Cut you off, just like a tumor! ♪
Hope you die, ♪
Kiss my ass goodbye, you cuck, fuck you! ♪
Eeugh-
[Circusy music]
Have you ever felt sick and tired ♪
of doing the same shit everyday
with your anger brewin' ♪
Eatin' shit for a boss that
you're sick of obeyin' ♪
If you ever felt the same
let me hear ya say it! ♪
[With ensemble]
Did you really think I was gonna stay? ♪
Spending life bent over
with your fist in my "a". ♪
Slander me, say I'll never
work in this town, ♪
If I stick around I'll be six more feet
under the ground! ♪
ENSEMBLE: (Fuck you!) ♪
FIZZ: Wo-oh-oh! ♪
- (Here's my two minute's notice, fuck you!) ♪
- Suck it, greedy bastard! ♪
- You're a fucking, ass clown! ♪
- (Time to quit and smell the roses!) ♪
[With ensemble]
Say goodbye, ♪
too late to apologize! ♪
So this is it, ♪
Mammon you sad sack of shit, ♪
Fuck yooou! ♪
- You bitch! ♪
Yeah!! ♪♪
Thank you all so much.
You know,
it's always been one of the greatest
thrills of my life performing.
And I'm so glad to bring
you all one, last show.
Cause now,
I quit!
- Pffbth! WHAT?!
QUIT?! You miserable piece of shit!
What do you mean quit?
- I meaaan, I quit. I'm done,
[Australian accent] G'day, mate!
- [Growling]
[Fizzarolli gasps]
ASMODEUS: Oh that, motherfucker.
MAMMON: [Growls] You fucking
ungrateful little shit!
[Growls intensify and
turn into a scream.]
I gave you everything!!
You are practically in my image!
I raised you like the son I didn't want!
ASMODEUS: [Growls] You'd better
back the fuck up, Mam.
- Ho-ly shit! I say, I say.
- Ha-ha, hooo.
Look who's acting like a big fuckin' hero.
Careful what you say, Ozzie.
Wouldn't want your little secret getting out,
would we?
- I don't care anymore!
- Ozz?
- Because if you let him quit,
I could tell everyone hereee that you-
- What? That I love him? Well I do!
CROWD: [Fangirling] I knew it, I knew it!
- Oh- uh. Shit. Ah- you dirty bitch.
You are gonna regret revealing that, Ozz.
[Sinister laugh]
[Fizzarolli growls]
[Laughing continues]
[Screaming]
[Sighs happily]
- So does that mean we win?
ACK!!
[Lovey-dovey giggling]
BLITZØ: So um,
who tops?
[Fizzarolli groans]
I'm a klown, bitch ♪
Fix up your frown, bitch ♪
Gimme the crown, bitch ♪
You hear that sound ♪
You're goin' down ♪
Cause I'm a klown, bitch ♪
GLAM: Special occasions splurge on the
urge to go make a mistake ♪
GLITZ: Give you a birthday reward
if you can afford all this cake ♪
GLAM: Dollar-by-dollar you got me
romance and lovin' is fake ♪
GLITZ: Max out your expense account ♪
GLITZ: You're paying for a- ♪
Klown, bitch ♪
GLITZ: (I'm a klown, bitch Imma klown bitch, yeah) ♪
Fix up your frown, bitch ♪
GLITZ: (Fix up ya frown bitch, fix ya frown, bitch) ♪
Gimme the crown, bitch ♪
GLITZ: (Gimme the crown, bitch, gimme that) ♪
You hear that sound
(uh) ♪
You're going down
(Yeah) ♪
Cause I'm a klown, bitch ♪
GLITZ: [Laughter] (Oh) ♪
Gimme the crown, bitch ♪
GLITZ: (Ooh) ♪
GLITZ: [Laughter]
Cause I'm a klown, bitch! ♪♪