Liv and Maddie (2013) s02e07 Episode Script

Oh! Hey everybody! Welcome back to Johnny Nim Bus-ta-move's, dancing new year's eve.
We are here live from the cultural mecca of Steven's point, Clancy's dairy farm.
Oh, and our famous sparkly onion is on the rise cause we're a mere four hours away from midnight! And with me is hometown celebrity Liv Rooney! Well, thank you, Johnny.
You just watched the top five cat interviews that Johnny did this year.
Meow-za.
All gems.
Hey, and speaking of cool cats, let's welcome our favorite novelty dancer, the clogmaster! Clog on, clogmaster.
Oh.
Look at you.
You should be down at Clancy's whooping it up with your sister.
By the way, I can drive you if you want.
Nice try, mom, but I know Liv banned you from going.
Oh, no no.
She was just teasing.
As if I'd jump up on stage and start playing the flute.
By the way, have you seen my flute? Did she hide it? Mom, no one hid your flute.
I totally hid her flute And tied it like a pretzel.
So you're sure you're fine just staying in on new year's? Yeah.
Just, you know.
Getting my clog on.
I'm not even a little bit upset at the fact that I finally have a boyfriend, that it's new year's eve, and he's a million Miles away in the icy wasteland that is tundrabania instead of here hanging out with me.
And why did he go, mom? Why, why, why did he go? Yeah, you don't seem upset at all, honey.
Hey, Maddie! Got a special delivery all the way from tundrabania! It's Diggie! I told him that I really, really wanted to be together on new year's eve, and now he's here to surprise me! He's here.
It's Diggie! You're not Diggie.
No.
I'm just the guy who lugged this heavy box all the way up the stairs just for you.
You're welcome.
I sent Maddie everything she needs to celebrate a traditional tundrabanian new year's eve.
We're gonna facegab at midnight.
Internet's hard to come by in tundrabania, but I bought time By selling my pet walrus.
You know what? Doesn't even matter.
Because Diggie is so romantic that I'm sure whatever's in this box is gonna be really cool.
So ah! Or Frozen solid.
You just heard the sick beats of t-t-t-Terry the clown! Two turntables and a rainbow wig.
You spin those wheels of steel, Terry! I love it.
Give me some of that.
All right.
And stay tuned folks, because just after midnight I will be debuting my brand new single "you and me, and the beat.
" Oh, I can't wait.
Hey, the word around the hayloft is you're here to talk about an exciting new gizmo.
That's right, Johnny.
This is actually the very first time that I have ever endorsed a product.
Oh! This is exciting! It's the dry by Liv hair dryer.
Wanna be flyer? Buy this dryer.
In an attempt to support our young celebrity entrepreneur, we let her use our credit card to order her initial shipment of 100.
Yeah, except there was a sticky zero key, and I accidentally ordered 10,000.
Isn't that hilarious? The dry by Liv is the most powerful hair dryer in the world.
So to demonstrate, Terry the clown is gonna help me show just how powerful it really is.
Okay.
And that, folks, was on the low setting.
Okay.
All right, Steven's point! Now it is time for Johnny versus dairy farm Dave in a high-stakes new year's eve milk-off.
Sleeves up, Dave.
You're about to get pasteurized.
Come on.
We're missing the milk off.
I can't believe you and your stupid flute got us banned.
Oh, and I'm sure your funky fresh dance moves had nothing to do with it.
Boys, stop.
Why are you dragging a dirty gutter inside the house? 'Cause it's too cold to clean it outside.
And it's on our new year's chore list.
No time to talk.
We've gotta get it done before midnight.
Mom and dad said that if we finish this crazy long list of chores by the end of this year, they would buy us anything we wanted.
We picked a two-man swan paddle boat.
How cool is that? Would you look at the joy on these people's faces? The list! They weren't supposed to finish.
You said they'd do a few chores in January, forget it by spring, and we'd owe them nothing.
Relax.
They never finish anything.
Parker doesn't even flush when he's done.
Flushed and polished.
So clean you could serve soup in it.
Mmm.
Man, this soup is delicious.
Why do you hate romance, you stupid block of ice! Use the dry by Liv.
It's not just for hair.
This thing does everything.
I just reheated a pork chop.
Whoa.
Amazing.
Yeah.
It's one heck of a dryer.
Now tell your friends, cause we need to move 10,000 of those.
Oh, yes! Diggie left me a note.
"Hey, Rooney.
" That's me.
"Enclosed is everything you'll need for our tundrabanian new year's eve celebration.
" So you guys are gonna facegab at midnight? Sounds fun.
"We'll make the cry of a pregnant narwhal, drink yak milk from a chalice, and do a traditional tundrabanian tribal dance in fake fur.
" Sounds more weird than fun now.
Oh, yeah? When was the last time dad brought you yak milk? You're not actually gonna wear that, are you? Would it kill you to send me yak milk just once?! All right, Steven's point.
It looks like it is just about two hours until midnight, so buy your dry by Liv now.
Okay.
Really, though, please buy.
Two hours left on the clock, and out of the 10,000 I have sold six.
Hey, kids, are mom and dad asleep? Do you know where their credit card is? Buy one for yourself.
Hey! Buy two.
You know what? Hey, if you call right now, I will come to your house and dry your hair for you.
All righty, tarp is up.
Let's check the next chore off our swan paddle boat list.
"Clean chimney.
" Then we can move onto "clear family of squirrels from attic.
" Prepare blowers.
Blowers on.
Whoa.
Okay.
Well, if we do not get our swan paddle boat, we can strap these to the back of our innertubes and zip across the lake.
We're getting the paddle boat.
To the chimney! Blowers on! They're almost finished.
We're toast.
Mama's got it handled.
What are you doing? I'm adding something to their list.
Something so disgusting, so demeaning, so soul crushing, they will never do it.
You're bad.
I know.
My new year's resolution is to be a better person.
Luckily, that doesn't start till tomorrow.
All right.
Let's hear it for ranger Mike from Steven's point caverns and his pet bat, thaddeus.
All right.
Bye-bye, little g Oh! Okay.
All right.
Liv Rooney, you have had an amazing year.
And "space werewolves" was a box-office smash.
A-whoo space! Oh, stop it, Johnny.
You're making me blush.
And of course, there's my personal favorite, your "froyo yolo" video.
Let's take a look, huh? "Froyo.
" Classic.
Aw, who could forget that.
I was hoping everyone.
But hey, Liv.
We've got a little surprise for you.
We're gonna give Steven's point a chance to ask live questions of their very own international superstar.
So folks at home, if you've got a question for Liv, just chirp it on out at thejohnnynimbus.
Weatherfreak.
Okay, and oh! Our first chirp is in.
And it's from Clay.
Hey, Clay.
He asks, "Liv Rooney, do you like being a movie star?" Way to dig deep there, Clay.
No, Johnny, I actually think that is a great question.
And Clay, I have a question for you.
Do you have a hair dryer? Would you like a new one? Okay, come on now, people.
I have parents to pay.
Let's go.
Let's move these things.
Thank you.
Oh hey, there's another chirp, and this one's from my nephew, larrabee nimbus.
Hey, lar.
He asks, "Liv Rooney, is it true that while shooting the 'froyo yolo' video, that you kissed your sister's boyfriend Diggie?" Oh, wow.
That was just such a long time ago, Johnny.
- I can't even - Oh, no no.
I'm sure you would remember that.
I've seen that guy.
He's a tall drink of hot water.
I mean, I take it your answer is no.
Yes, Johnny.
I totally kissed my sister's boyfriend.
Of course my answer is no.
Did she just do sarcastic jazz hands? Okay, when Liv gets sarcastic and she makes jazz hands, it means that she is hiding something.
Like the truth doesn't matter if you have enough pizzazz.
She kissed him.
My sister kissed my boyfriend.
Larrabee, it's garbage like that that keeps you from getting invited to Thanksgiving.
I'm sorry, Liv.
Nephew by marriage.
Well Oh, we've got another chirp, and this one's from Maddie Rooney.
She asks, "hey, what's with the sarcastic jazz hands? Are you hiding something?" Yeah.
I'm trying to cover up the fact that I totally kissed her boyfriend.
You really did kiss him! Those jazz hands are a window to your dark, lying soul! I can't Oh, we've got another chirp from Maddie.
Oh, this one's not a question, though.
It just says, "I'm destroying your shoes.
" Wait! Maddie, just let me explain.
Hold on there, Liv.
I notice that it's 10 minutes till midnight.
And we all know what that means! It's time for my beat box battle with Terry the clown.
Drop the beat, clown.
Get ready, Steven's point.
That sparkly onion says there's just seven minutes left till midnight.
And Maddie, f you're watching this at home, lease answer one of my calls.
Yeah, that's not gonna happen.
Ah! Here he is.
Ready to do this, Rooney? Did you kiss my sister? What? Yeah, I totally kissed your sister.
I knew it! Okay, well then, you know what, Diggie? I can't be with someone who I don't trust, so you and I are done.
Bam, dumped! What do you have to say about that? Hmm? Okay, well don't just sit there with that stupid look on your face.
Oh, no! The stupid tundrabanian Internet is frozen.
Tell the penguins on the treadmills to run faster! Five minutes till midnight, boys.
Whoo! Bathroom grout, cleaned.
Hallway baseboards, painted.
And hair removed from every drain.
Man, the women in this house are disgusting.
Yo, let's order that paddle boat.
We're gonna be floating in style.
Swan style! - Man, we're cool.
- So cool.
Okay, well back your paddle boat up, because you missed something on the list.
What? Not possible.
Check the back.
She's right.
We missed one.
The worst one.
"Clip your father's toenails.
" Yeah, and I've been a little lax with the foot grooming this year.
Game over, man! No way.
Those claws are going down.
You might want to leave, mother.
This is No place for a lady.
Unfreeze so I can break up with you! And stop being so cute.
Maddie.
Maddie, are you there? I have to explain.
No, there's nothing that you can explain.
You can't just talk your way out of this, you beady eyed Sister kisser! Liv, stop texting me.
"Look at the TV.
" Maddie, the kiss with Diggie is not what you think.
Johnny, if you could just play the "froyo yolo" video for me.
Diggie was in the robot costume, and the director told me to kiss the robot mask.
And we just didn't tell you, because I don't know, we didn't want it to turn into a big deal Sort of like it is now.
Wait, you kissed him when he was the robot? That's what this is about? Oh Diggie.
So it seems as if I might have overreacted a little.
Just a little.
So about my beady eyes Wait, but then if you weren't feeling guilty, why did you do the sarcastic jazz hand thing? I was being sarcastic because it wasn't really a kiss.
And I wasn't doing jazz hands.
I was trying to keep my fingers from falling off, because it's so cold here.
Oh, sorry.
Maddie, there's only one girl in the world that I want my first kiss to be with And that's you.
Hi.
Hi.
Time to raise that sparkly onion, folks.
10, nine You know, midnight on new year's is as good a time as any for a first kiss.
I thought you'd never ask.
two, one Happy new year! Happy new year, Diggie.
Happy new year.
Um Diggie, are your lips frozen to the screen? Nah, I'm totally fine.
Well, now that we've raised our sparkly onion, we get to ring in the new year by listening to our own Liv Rooney sing her new song "you and me, and the beat.
" Drop the needle, Terry.
First rule of sales, nothing makes you want to buy a hair dryer like a hit song, so I created a deal that no one could pass up: Buy a dry by Liv, get a free download.
We sold out in literally seven minutes.
Happy new year, everyone! Another chore list? Are you crazy? We cheated, and they still beat us.
Well, I have a feeling the boys won't be quite as motivated now that their dream came true.
Oh, man.
I can't feel my feet.
I think they're frozen to the pedals.
But as soon as the lake unfreezes, we'll be the coolest guys on the water.
This is this is cool, right? Oh, man.
I was really following your lead on this one.