Lost In Space (1965) s02e07 Episode Script

[ Man Narrating .]
Last week, as you recall, we left Dr.
Smith peacefully dozing while on a field trip with Will, Penny and the Robot.
All were unaware that nearby lay a machine capable of producing incredible metallic creatures from another world.
I'm innocent.
The plants on this planet do not follow the Earth method of transpiration-- utilizing carbon dioxide and releasing oxygen.
This plant, for instance, is similar to the cactus of Earth.
However, it needs absolutely no moisture at all.
And where did you acquire this useless information, you tiresome thesaurus? The instructor is not to be interrupted during lectures.
Instructor indeed.
How you could have been selected to educate young minds when I am available is beyond me.
He's right, Dr.
Smith.
You're not supposed to talk while he's teaching.
Very well.
Then I shall occupy my mind with more gainful pursuits.
But remember, when you grow up in absolute ignorance, don't blame me.
Remember! [ Electronic Warbling .]
- Where'd Dr.
Smith go? - Search me.
I'll go find him.
[ Electronic Warbling .]
Well.
What are you doing, Dr.
Smith? Experimenting, my dear.
[ Electronic Warbling .]
This machine appears to be an instant painting device, a galactic art form.
- That's weird.
- Quite so.
But I can remedy that.
[ Electronic Warbling .]
What happens when you get it like you want it? When the picture is complete, you press a button and it prints it for you.
- This must be the one.
- [ Robot .]
Warning! Warning! Alien transpositive generating machine.
Do not touch it! It is dangerous! - Do not-- - Silence, you gregarious gremlin! This must be the one.
Now, here we go.
- [ Electronic Warbling .]
- [ Thunder .]
Warning! [ Thunder Continues .]
What is it? [ Dr.
Smith .]
I don't know.
Yes, of course.
I.
- Well, what is it? Report.
- It does not compute.
What do you mean it doesn't compute, you ninny? It is an android manufactured with electrical circuits.
But there is an element which does not compute.
She isn't going to hurt us, Dr.
Smith.
Does it open? Open? Well, I don't know.
[ Gasps .]
Oh! Uh, we are the Robinsons.
I'm Penny.
Do you have a name? Uh, can you talk? Yes, I can talk.
My name is Verda.
Where did you come from? I was ordered.
What do you mean? Who ordered you? Dr.
Smith.
Indeed I did not! And how do you know my name? You ordered me from the machine.
I am tuned to your psychic frequency.
- I am yours.
- Certainly not! I did not order you, you unearthly creature! Go back where you came from! You have ordered me.
I cannot go back.
I am yours forever.
Oh, the pain.
The pain.
No! Stay away from me, madam.
Stay away from me! [ Whirring .]
- He said an android? - Yes.
Dr.
Smith ordered it from the alien transfer machine by mistake.
You have to see it! - He was told never to touch alien equipment.
- Yeah, well, you know Smith.
We'll take care of him later.
What else? Yes.
Mother wants to know if you'd like to have dinner brought up here-- that is if you'll be working late.
No.
I think we've mined our quota of deutronium for the day.
Oh, yes.
There is one thing.
I don't want anyone else coming up here.
- Oh? Why? - Come with me.
I'll show you.
Have you ever seen anything like that before? - Hmm.
It lives in there? - We think so.
We haven't seen it, but, uh, my guess is that it's nocturnal.
We just haven't had a chance to hunt it down.
And as long as it doesn't bother us, we're not gonna bother it.
Now, remember, tell everybody this place is strictly off limits.
- We'll put up some signs as a reminder.
- I'll tell them.
Well, how much have we got so far? About three canisters, but the vein's beginning to run out.
Let's hope it gives us five before it decides to quit.
- That'll give us enough fuel for a blastoff.
- That old magic number 5 again.
Listen, set that drill on automatic, give me a hand with these signs.
- You worried about the android? - Well, I think I better take a look at her.
Okay.
I was manufactured by unit 12, R.
D.
S.
remote unit.
- What does that mean? - I don't know.
- What civilization invented you? - The Andromedan.
- And for what purpose? - To serve my master the one who ordered me.
- Dr.
Smith? - Yes.
May I be excused now? I promised to prepare a footbath for Dr.
Smith.
Yes.
You know, she's really quite pleasant to have around.
She has sort of a strange appearance, but-- - Oh, a little makeup ought to take care of that.
- Probably.
You know, John, she's really awfully good with the children.
That's all well and good, but she keeps using that word "ordered.
" "Dr.
Smith ordered me.
" That might imply that someone's gonna come around here demanding payment.
- Well, maybe it's just her way of speaking.
- Well, possibly.
For the time being, I suppose she can stay here.
I don't think she's dangerous.
[ Humming .]
Ohhh! You've made it too cold.
Oh, that is easily adjusted.
My left hand functions as a heating element.
My right hand is a freezing coil.
Spare me the scientific lectures, madam.
Just warm it up.
[ Electrical Hum .]
Mm.
Mm.
Mmm.
That's lovely.
Mmm.
That's lovely.
Ohhh! Stop it at once, you ridiculous creature! You're scalding me! [ Huffs .]
Ooh.
There.
That's better.
- What is that object? - It's a flower, you silly thing.
Now you can remove your hand, it's quite cool enough.
A flower? We have no such object on our planet.
Will you kindly remove your freezing element? I'm not an Eskimo, you know! It has great beauty of structure.
I order you to stop this at once, do you hear? Stop! Ohhh, dear.
Madam, you don't know your right hand from your left.
Away from me, madam.
Away! Will you stay away from me, you albatross? And so, financed by Queen Isabella of Spain Columbus set sail across the uncharted ocean and in the year 1492, landed on a small island and thereby America was discovered.
- Yes? - At last I've caught you in an error you pedagogical pip-squeak.
You finally slipped a cog, have you? America was discovered in 1493, not 1492.
- Dr.
Smith, he's-- - You stay out of this, my dear child.
It's time your young mind was protected from the misinformation spewed by this ignominious ignoramus.
Check your recall circuits.
Verify.
- My information is correct.
- Indeed.
After a blunder like that, I'm afraid I shall have to rewire you.
- Dr.
Smith-- - Don't try to protect him, Will.
- It must be done.
- Rewiring is unnecessary.
My information is correct.
Nonsense! "In 1493, Columbus sailed the deep blue sea!" Remember? That is an incorrect quotation.
"In 1492, Columbus sailed the ocean blue.
" [ Dr.
Smith .]
You dare to contradict me? You are wrong.
I propose checking the information.
- I propose a wager.
- A wager? Affirmative.
If you are right, you may rewire me.
If I am right, you will sit in the class and keep quiet.
It will be a pleasure, you jangling junk heap.
And whom do you propose as arbiter? The android.
Very well.
Does your programming include Earth history, my dear? My programming includes all history.
Splendid.
Now, before I put the question to you I must establish your position.
Who ordered you from the machine? That's not fair, Dr.
Smith.
It's merely clarification, my dear boy.
Sit down.
- Who ordered you? - You did.
Yes.
Remember that.
Now then when did Christopher Columbus discover America? Fourteen hundred and ninety-two.
Would you repeat that? October 12, 1492.
Perfidious creature.
You forget who brought you here? I am programmed to serve you.
I am not programmed to lie.
Bah! Proceed.
You are a very interesting mechanism.
Thank you.
You are equipped with a Model 56 Tauron computer, are you not? My computer is the best on Earth, analog and digital.
That's too bad.
But at least you're programmed for intergalactic history, are you not? Well, no, but-- Andromedan geometry? The calculus of Orion? The antigravity theory of Gimus? I can lift very heavy things.
I'm sure you can.
And I think you do quite well for one so primitive.
But don't you think a teacher of children should have a more well-rounded education? Huh! We shall begin by the exploration of the universe-- the first creature to leave his home and explore the uncharted skies.
An adventure that parallels the voyage of your Columbus but instead of ocean, he was faced with this: His name was Formale which in the language of his own small planet means "explorer.
" And he lived here, on the fifth planet of Orion.
In the 6,000th year of his planet's history he developed a spacecraft which everyone said would never escape the pull of his own small planet that he would be eaten by the monsters in space and surely die.
But in Formale's heart, he knew they were wrong and in the autumn of their year he activated his craft and took off.
In setting out on his giant adventure he was not as fortunate as your Columbus.
Mother.
Yes, dear? [ No Audible Dialogue .]
- What's she doing? - She's teaching them the history of the universe.
Oh, yes.
Don't you think they should learn about the Earth first? No, Judy.
I think perhaps she's right.
The Earth is a small place and very far away.
This is the world in which the children are growing up.
Perhaps they should learn about this place first.
New World indeed.
The presumption of the creature not only to question my judgment but to usurp a position which does not belong to her.
She embarrassed me.
She took my pointer.
Indeed she did.
For once, my bosom companion, I find that we can agree on something.
I can hardly wait until we have enough fuel to take off from here and leave that mechanized maid-servant behind.
My computers indicate the probability that they will refuse to leave her behind.
- They wouldn't! - They might.
They would.
And that will take more fuel.
There's no question about it.
We must dispose of the creature.
- What is your plan? - It's quite elementary.
This machine brought her here.
It can also take her back.
Give me a reading of its circuits.
- The circuits do not scan.
- What do you mean they don't scan? Its circuits are beyond my technical capabilities.
Oh, you are a silly goose.
I see that I shall have to take care of this myself.
Warning! To touch the red button, you will materialize the creature.
Go quickly! Turn the machine off.
Ohhh! That was indeed a close call.
Ohhh! That was indeed a close call.
I see that we shall have to make a deeper study of this machine before we try that again.
However, it does give me an idea.
What kind of idea? Silence, you bellicose bumpkin! Come along and I'll show you.
Warning! Warning! That sign says "Danger Area.
" Pay no attention to that sign, you nervous ninny.
You don't suppose they'd be mining in this area if there was any real danger, do you? Of course not.
They're merely grandstanding.
Using the presence of what is probably an oversized groundhog to emphasize their bravery indeed.
- What are you doing? - I'm looking for unusual plants.
Ah! Here we are.
One, two and three.
Lovely.
I recommend waiting until full daylight.
Don't try my patience, you cackling cuckoo.
Now, let me see.
I think I shall place the first one here.
Yes.
And the second here, closer to the cave entrance.
Why are you moving the plants around? If you had any perception at all, you would realize that the android is obviously not going to leave us voluntarily.
We must show her that she has not come to a paradise.
In other words, we must frighten her.
- Frighten her? - Yes, indeed.
Now, let me see.
I'm sure she will take the children on a nature walk.
She will find the first plant and then see this pretty thing, the second.
And I shall place the third in the cave entrance itself.
There.
A classic approach to the problem if I do say so myself.
She will see this lovely flower and knowing that the children are not permitted into the cave-- Danger! Danger! - Danger! Danger! Danger! - [ Growling .]
Aaah! Danger! Danger! Danger! - [ Growling .]
- Danger! Danger! Danger! [ Gasps .]
Ohhh.
Did you kill him? The creature might return at any minute.
- Oh, it was horrible.
Horrible.
- Yes.
It's a good thing I had the presence of mind to freeze otherwise that dreadful creature would certainly have devoured me on the spot.
- Are you all right? - Of course I'm all right.
Help me up.
- Ohhh.
- Can you walk? Spare me the insulting innuendoes, you floundering flunky.
My recuperative powers are extraordinary.
After a good night's sleep, I shall be as fit as a fiddle.
If you can walk, I suggest we do so.
The creature might return at any minute.
Of course I can walk.
Ohhh.
You pushed me.
- Would either one of you care for some more mushrooms? - Mm-mmm.
Thank you.
No, we've gotta get back to the drill site.
- Say, where are the children? - They're gonna be a little late.
They're, uh, preparing a surprise.
Only surprise I'm interested in is the one Smith's gonna get when he finds out he missed breakfast.
- Did I hear my name being bandied about idly? - That you did, Smith.
Ohhh.
Why, Dr.
Smith, do you feel all right this morning? You look a little pale.
Bless you for your concern, dear lady.
You see, I had a very restless night.
My mind was so filled with how I could better serve my fellow castaways that I couldn't sleep.
In that case, you better skip breakfast and catch up on your sleep.
I have never been the one to shirk when duty calls.
Oh, mushrooms.
Lovely.
Would you pass the eggs, please? - Well, we'll see you later.
- Bye-bye.
- Have a good day.
- Mm-hmm.
Now, then, uh, where is my creation this morning? - Your creation? - Verda.
Oh.
She's inside.
The children are attempting to put her through a transformation.
Mm.
Transformation indeed.
She can only go from dismal to disaster.
- How does it look? - Fine.
Just fine.
It is unwise to alter my specifications.
We're not altering your specifications we're just dressing them up a little.
Will my master be appreciative? - Your master? - Dr.
Smith.
Oh, I'm not sure he'll ever be appreciative of anyone but I think you look nice.
- Look nice? - Haven't you ever seen yourself? The appearance is not important.
It is the programming which counts.
This is a mirror.
You can see the reflection of yourself in it-- that way you know how you look.
That is my exterior? [ Chuckles .]
That's a nice way of putting it.
Yes, that's how you look.
If it were not known that I am an android I might be taken for one of you.
You are one of us, Verda.
In appearance only.
I was manufactured by unit 12, R.
D.
S.
remote unit.
My value is 100 thalastros.
- Uh, let's go show the others.
- Do you mind? I have been created to be useful.
Splendid repast, madam.
Bravo! And now you must excuse me.
My hydraulic experiment awaits.
- Good morning.
- Good morning.
Why, Verda, how nice you look.
It is not my function to look nice.
Of course it isn't your function.
You are an android, after all.
Oh, Dr.
Smith, please.
Verda, won't you sit down and have some breakfast with us? Androids do not eat, my dear lady.
They merely take on fuel.
Now, Verda, I wish to have a little talk with you concerning your future.
That way, my dear.
You know, she doesn't look any different at all to me.
Well, we tried, Mother.
Get thee hence, you ponderous plumber.
Give it here.
I thought we should have this little discussion, my dear considering the fact that I feel responsible for your welfare.
What are you doing? I'm designing an incredible new hydraulic system whereby pure water can be extracted from solid rock.
Uh, but you needn't concern yourself with that.
I wish to discuss your future with you.
- My future? - Yes.
Unfortunately, Verda, you have come onto a hostile planet a very threatening atmosphere, to be precise.
For your own safety, I must insist that you make arrangements to return from whence you came.
You, uh, are programmed to feel fear, are you not? I have a self-preservation circuit, if that's what you mean.
Apparently, that circuit isn't functioning properly.
Now, since you've taken over the duties of teacher in our little community you will undoubtedly be taking the children on a nature walk, will you not? - To acquaint them with the flora and the fauna of this planet? - Yes.
Then you will surely encounter one of the many loathsome creatures which abound here.
And I'm afraid, my dear, that you're simply not equipped to cope with them.
No.
I must insist that you go back to wherever it is you came from.
I have the solution for your water problem, Dr.
Smith.
You do? [ Beeping .]
You've done it again, madam.
[ Robot Laughing .]
Come along, you ninny! Hmm.
Hmm.
I wonder what would happen if I pressed two buttons at once.
I do not know.
Nothing ventured, nothing gained, I always say.
We've struck gold.
Indeed we have.
Have you found a way to return the android? That can wait, you foolish fop.
I've just realized that this is a galactic mail-order machine.
By pressing the proper combination of buttons - I can have anything I want in the universe.
- Without payment? I'll think about that later.
For the nonce, I shall contemplate a new wardrobe.
Sartorial elegance has always been one of my strong points.
This is interesting.
It's very interesting.
Oh, how beautiful.
Uh, we don't see anything, Miss Verda.
I forget your eyes do not have the power to magnify.
[ Electrical Hum .]
That's great.
Are you a magician? No.
- [ Will Chuckles .]
- What is your face doing? He's laughing.
Laughing? Now I must put it back as it was.
[ Electrical Hum .]
To keep the beauty of nature, one must never change it.
Do all humans laugh? At one time or another.
- Why do they laugh? - Because they think something's funny.
Or for no reason at all.
Just because they're happy.
- Happy? - [ Will .]
You mean you don't know what that means? No.
It's the way you feel inside when you like yourself and the world around you.
Or when you're with someone you like very much.
Then I am happy.
Which muscles do you move in order to laugh? - Gosh.
I don't know.
- It just pops out.
Pull, you ninny! Pull! Put your back into it! It is impossible.
The hat cannot be removed.
- [ Sighs .]
- [ Laughter .]
Will you stop that laughing this instant? - [ Laughing .]
- [ Laughing .]
Will you stop laughing? Are you going to a masquerade party, Dr.
Smith? Certainly not, missy.
- You, madam, can you operate this machine? - No.
Can you tell me how to get my clothes back? I know nothing of the machine.
Ohhh, fiddle-di-fie.
Uh, Verda, I suggest you get on with your nature walk and take that path over there.
But that's off-limits to us, Dr.
Smith.
Nonsense, my boy.
You have a governess after all an android with apparently unlimited powers in most areas.
And you'll find some lovely flowers on that path.
- Are you sure it's all right? - Yes, it's all right.
Have a nice walk! - But Dr.
Smith-- - Shh.
They will be in extreme danger.
I will go with them.
- You will do nothing of the sort.
- But-- But me no buts, Simple Simon.
That's an order.
What a ridiculous position to be in.
I need you to help me work this machine.
I cannot and I will not spend the rest of my existence clad in this ridiculous rigamarole! [ Grunting .]
[ Yelps .]
Ohhh! Feel the petals.
I've made a study of these things that they call flowers.
They feel like velvet.
They need no food or water.
They live on air alone.
I think we'd better get back, Miss Verda.
Soon.
We're safe here.
Dad says there's a creature that lives in that cave.
Come.
There's one last flower we must see.
[ Penny .]
Please don't go any closer, Miss Verda.
[ Growling .]
[ Growling Continues .]
Run, children.
Run! Daddy! Don! The monster's got Miss Verda, Dad.
Let's go.
[ Growling .]
Verda, get back! - Verda, are you all right? - Yes.
I thought the monster had us for sure.
But she put herself in front of him and drew his attention.
You tried to save the children.
I don't understand.
I'm programmed for practical functions only.
Programmed to save my mechanism in case of emergency, but-- Why was I willing to sacrifice myself? I don't know, but I'm grateful for what you did.
Didn't you know this place was off-limits? Dr.
Smith said it'd be all right.
Are you really all right? None of my circuits are damaged.
My power pack is functioning properly.
I-- Yes, I'm all right.
Thank you very much.
[ Blowing .]
Well, have you found anything yet, you defective detective or am I to remain in this molting costume forever? From scanning known components, a sequestrial theory emerges.
If two buttons provide merchandise perhaps by pressing three buttons at the same time merchandise may be removed.
It might be worth a try.
Obviously, I have nothing to lose.
[ Robotic Voice .]
Your complaint has been received.
Stand by.
Stand by.
[ Whimpers .]
- [ Engines Whirring .]
- What have you gotten me into now? Warning! Alien spacecraft approaching! - What? Aaah! - [ Thunder .]
Warning! Alien spacecraft landing.
Shh.
I know, I know.
Use the code.
It gets better results.
- [ Pop Pop .]
- [ Pop Pop .]
- Zumdish is the name.
- Zumdish? What an odd name.
[ Chuckles .]
- [ Chuckles .]
- [ Clears Throat .]
[ Clears Throat .]
Complaint manager for the Celestial Department Stores, Area 17.
You called for me? This mechanical meddler did it.
He insisted upon touching the machine.
I warned him not to.
Is that the material in question? Well, I see nothing wrong with it.
You made a wise choice, if I must say so myself.
The fit is perfect.
The, uh, eternal fabric will last forever.
You call this attractive? I think it's in execrable taste, far from stylish! We stand behind our merchandise 100%, sir.
- If you're displeased-- - I am.
I would prefer to have my own clothes back, please.
Very well.
This is one of the older vending machines.
Definitely outmoded.
But it should do the trick.
Oh.
Thank you, sir.
Mr.
Zumdish, now that you're here I should like to register another complaint a matter I would like handled immediately.
And what is that? Sometime ago, I ordered an android.
A most peculiar creature appeared with silver skin.
Oh, yes, yes, yes.
The Verda Model, 10165-A.
You know about her? Of course.
As a matter of fact when the credit department heard I was coming here they asked me to bring the bill along.
Payment is due, you know? And collections are rather difficult from this planet.
- Did you say a bill? - I have it right here.
No.
So many errands.
Wrong planet.
Here it is.
Ordinarily, this model sells for 100 thalastros but this week only, she has been reduced to 89.
95.
Now, if you prefer, you can pay one third down and the rest in-- I do not propose to pay for her at all.
You must be aware, sir sales merchandise cannot be returned.
We like to be liberal with our customers, but, uh-- I have no intention of paying you one red cent or whatever your currency happens to be.
That is very unfortunate, sir.
Very unfortunate indeed.
[ Pop .]
[ Gasps .]
[ Gasps .]
- What are you doing? - Arresting you.
Ordering without intending to pay.
Ohhh.
Shame on you.
Shame on you.
That is worse than shoplifting.
Tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk.
Mr.
Zumdish, I leave it to you.
She's definitely defective.
You see, I ordered her to my specifications and then she deserted me for the children.
- She took my pointer.
- Uh, she took his pointer.
Primitive.
Well, if she is defective, that could make a difference.
- Where is she now? - I'll take you to her.
You'll see that I'm right.
I do hope that I'm not going to have to be harsh with you.
It upsets my whole day, having to be harsh.
- I wouldn't dream of upsetting your day.
- Thank you.
- This way, sir.
- After you.
- No, sir, after you.
- Thank you.
Pointer indeed! Come along, you clod.
- And that's four.
- And you only need one more.
That's right.
One more and we're on our way to Alpha Centauri.
- I better get back to the drill site.
- All right.
Well, tell Judy and Will to get home before dark, would you? [ Pop Pop Pop .]
Tell Penny and Verda to stay in the ship.
What are you up to now, Smith? These gentlemen have come for Verda.
- Who are you? - My name is Zumdish.
I want no trouble with you, sir but I represent the firm which created the android and I must insist on inspecting her.
Will you bring her out here, please? No.
If you wish to see Verda, you'll have to go inside.
The guard will remain where he is.
In a show of force, sir, you certainly would be the loser.
[ Pop .]
Your lasers would be quite ineffective against my security guards and as for your robot-- [ Chuckles .]
We melted down all our robots similar to him over a century ago.
Nevertheless, my terms stand.
You see her alone or you don't see her at all.
Very well.
[ Pop Pop Pop .]
[ Pop .]
Melted down.
Indeed! Stand still! Ffft! - [ Scoffs .]
- [ Dr.
Smith .]
You see? She's definitely inferior merchandise.
Absolutely worthless.
- All right, Smith.
Wait outside.
- Just examine her carefully, my dear sir.
You'll see that I'm right.
I'm afraid he's right.
Shoddy.
Shoddy, shoddy.
I want to apologize to Dr.
Smith.
We will definitely take her back.
What will you do with her? She will be sent to the salvage department, I imagine.
Perhaps some of her circuits might be useful in the new models.
No, you can't take her! I won't let you! Penny, go to your cabin.
Oh, please don't let them take her.
- Please.
- Penny.
Go ahead, dear.
There is no use prolonging this.
I'll take her now.
No.
You leave her here.
And we'll talk this over and let you know what we decide to do.
You are in no position to dictate any terms.
With one wave of my hand I can have this ship disintegrated.
You might, but, uh, we're still going to discuss it.
Tsk.
Very well.
I'll give you five minutes-- not one second more.
At the end of that time, you will deliver the android to me or be destroyed.
Destroyed.
[ Chuckling .]
- Mm.
- John, do you really believe that he can destroy the spaceship? - Well, it's quite possible.
- Then what are you going to do? I don't know.
I honestly don't know.
[ Sighs .]
So, that's basically the situation.
If Verda goes back with him, she'll be destroyed.
And we've got just five minutes to come up with an alternate solution.
- I say let them have her.
- One more word outta you, Smith.
- One more word-- - No, Don.
Let him finish.
As I see it, we don't have any choice.
After all, they do own her, and we don't have the money they require for her purchase.
Let them take her back.
I know we don't have the money, but, well, maybe we could trade something for her.
Well, it's a possibility.
You have something in mind? Well, deutronium's a universal currency I think.
I mean, everybody uses it.
You would trade away our fuel? Oh, give them the deutronium, Daddy.
Please! - Yes.
We must.
- We don't even know if they'll take it.
You know, I think before we decide on this, we'd better understand what we're doing.
Now, we're within one canister of having enough to blast off this planet.
If Zumdish accepts our fuel, we may never leave here.
Have you all taken leave of your senses? Shall we be deprived of the one thing which has kept us alive just for the sake of a machine? That's all she is, you know-- just a machine, not a human being.
I'm not so sure about that.
Look.
- Why don't we take a vote? - All those in favor of trading our fuel for Verda raise their hands.
Bah! You traitor! Madness! Absolute madness! Penny, take Verda to your cabin.
Come, Verda.
I want to thank you.
I want to thank you all.
Well, it may be premature.
Zumdish may not want to trade.
Your time is up.
Mr.
Zumdish, we've decided to keep her.
Now, we don't have any money, but, uh, maybe we could effect a trade.
A trade for inferior merchandise like that? Ah, we like her as she is.
Very well.
What did you have in mind? - Deutronium.
You do use it on your planet don't you? - Yes.
All right.
I'll trade you one canister for her.
Your refining methods are very crude.
This would have to be refined 100 times before we could even use it.
All right.
Two canisters.
Perhaps something could be worked out.
- Deal? - Deal.
John, Penny and Verda are gone.
- Gone? - Yes.
They must've gone out the escape hatch.
Penny was so afraid that they'd take Verda away.
- Are you trying to trick me? - No tricks.
If we don't find them before dark, I don't know what'll happen to them.
- Don! - [ Pop .]
My security guard is designed to track androids.
[ Pop Pop .]
Take the deutronium inside and close the hatch.
- Any sign of them? - No, not a track.
Never fear.
My man will send up a signal when he finds her.
Better not harm Penny or Verda, Zumdish.
My guard's not programmed to fight unless he's attacked.
We'll hide here.
Why are you doing this for me? I wasn't sure Daddy could trade for you, and I won't let them take you.
- The security guard will find me.
- Maybe not.
But if he does, we'll run again.
Are all humans like you and your family? Yes, I'd say so.
Just about.
Then I think it would be very nice to be human.
[ Breathing Heavily .]
- You must not attack them.
- I won't let them take you.
[ Wheezing .]
Can't you do something? My prime directive as a machine is not programmed for aggressive action.
But you're not just a machine! You're not! - Stay here.
- Where are you going? Stay here.
I'm going to try.
Stop! - She attacked my man.
- Penny, where are you? Here, Daddy.
I'm all right.
You won't let them take her, will you? [ John .]
No.
It's gonna be all right, honey.
You were programmed never to attack a security guard.
I do many things now I was never programmed for.
And you're not going to take their fuel for me, do you hear? You will take me back with you.
I don't want to stay any longer.
A bargain's a bargain, Zumdish.
Can't you see what she's doing? I can see what she's doing, all right.
She's lying.
Willing to sacrifice herself.
It does not seem possible.
Not at all.
This model was never programmed for self-sacrifice.
Nevertheless, we have a bargain.
There is no bargain made.
No, no, no, no.
There simply could not be.
I don't know how it happened.
What I thought is a Model 101 is not the 101 at all.
Zumdish, what are you talking about? A miraculous transformation has taken place.
This is a-- The Special Deluxe Android Model 77-B.
Oh, there's not enough of value on this planet to trade for her! - Then you're not gonna take her to the scrap heap? - Oh, my goodness, no.
She's close to human now, with qualities that are much in demand in this universe.
She was willing to sacrifice herself in the name of love and that's a rare thing indeed.
Verda, do you wanna go with him? I'd love to be able to stay with you but you're going to be leaving soon anyway.
There are many places where I'm needed more.
- Must you go? - I'm afraid I must.
But we'll still have time together before I leave.
[ Sighs .]
Why so glum? Verda's gonna be all right, and we've got our fuel.
- Ah, it's not that.
- What is it? Well, I can't decide whether to have Smith drawn-and-quartered or simply boiled in oil.
[ Chuckles .]
You know, I think it'd be interesting either way.
[ Chuckles .]
That it might.
Come along.
Pull, pull.
Put some spirit into it.
Ohhh.
I'm completely done in.
Energy cell exhausted.
I can pull no more.
Calm yourself.
This will do nicely.
It's a veritable gold mine, my dear boy.
Fortune is ours.
You must take it back.
It does not belong to you.
Never fear, Smith is here.
I'm only borrowing it, and Mr.
Zumdish should be delighted.
- I intend to make him a very rich man.
- How? By ordering some more Verdas, of course.
Training them as I did the first one.
Giving them polish, so to speak.
Now let me see.
If they're worth a hundred when they arrive here and I can increase their value to a thousand-- yes, that's a reasonable price-- that would represent a profit of 900 on each.
Splendid.
I should like to see Mr.
Zumdish's face when he learns of my plans.
Oh, isn't it lovely? The first time I've ever lost one of my machines.
It was Smith again.
I'll bet money on it.
Don't worry, Mr.
Zumdish.
We'll get your machine back for you.
Oh, I'm not worried about getting it back.
It's just that I have never had one stolen before.
Look! It's Dr.
Smith.
Is he all right? Yes, indeed.
You have but to push any of the buttons to free him.
If you want to keep him, I would suggest that you do it right away there's always a chance that he might be ordered from a different planet where I have a machine like this.
Now, we must be getting back.
I must be at the store before closing time.
Come on.
Cheer up.
You can come and visit me one day.
I'll be doing the most important work a machine can do.
But I'll never forget you.
I love you both.
Love.
Ha! Good-bye, Verda.
Verda.
Good-bye.
[ Claps Hands .]
Ffft! If you would care to leave Dr.
Smith in the machine I think I can get you a fair price for him.
[ Zumdish Chuckles .]
[ Chuckles, Pops .]
You know, for two cents, I'd take Zumdish's advice.
But then again I'd never have the pleasure of watching you try to get out of work again, would I, Doctor? Oh, well.
Oh! Hello.
I must've dozed off for a moment.
I had the strangest dream.
I dreamt I was a piece of merchandise in some galactic department store.
Oh, sure, Smith.
In the bargain basement.
Fiddle-di-fie, Major.
Your barbs will never harm me! Indeed! [ Laughing .]
- Here are the other tools, Dr.
Smith.
- Ah, splendid.
Cutters.
Cutters.
[ Grunts .]
There! Finished.
William, our operation is a smashing success.
The operation is a success but, unfortunately, the patient is dead.
Nonsense, ninny.
This weather station is completely operational.
You failed to secure the wires of the sensitizer.
Maybe you'd better check the wiring again, Dr.
Smith.
Just in case.
Nonsense, my boy.
It's in absolutely perfect order! Now, pick up the tools.
- Hello, Son.
- Oh, hi, Dad.
Well, how's it going, Smith? Do you wish to answer the question, Dr.
Smith, or shall I? Hold your tongue, sir.
Ah, Professor.
Finished.
A push of the switch is all that is necessary.
Very good.
Then you shall have the honor of connecting the relay station to Jupiter 2.
Splendid! Observe.
Aaah! [ Whimpers .]
Obviously a faulty relay.
Attention! Attention! Alien approaching! He's a veritable giant.
He doesn't seem hostile.
Let's find out what he's doing here.
We've had experience with these strange space creatures before, you know.
I'm John Robinson from the planet Earth.
He probably doesn't understand us.
I'll offer him my hand.
That's a universally understood gesture.
Oh, it's an excellent idea.
- Friend.
- Yes.
I'm a friend too.
Dad! - Dad, look out! - [ Dr.
Smith Yelps .]