Mork and Mindy (1978) s02e07 Episode Script
Mork Gets Mindy-itis
MORK: Nanu, nanu.
( upbeat theme playing ) ( upbeat theme playing ) Mindy.
Mindy, Mindy, Mindy, Mindy, Mindy.
Whoa.
Ho-ho! Have I got a present for you.
Oh.
Here, go ahead, open it.
Open, open.
Mork, you bought me a present.
Oh, too slow.
I'll open it for you.
( muttering ) ( imitates fanfare ) That's so nice.
Heh, a mask.
Hi-yo, Silver.
Yeah.
Huh, big black boots, heh-heh! Big ones.
And, uh Oh, my, yes.
Other things, huh? Headphones.
Ah! Gee, Mork, uh, why'd you buy me these things? I heard you say you were having an affair and you didn't have anything to wear.
So I met this wonderful cabdriver named Aloo and he took me shopping.
Uh, Mork.
See, I'm having a political affair tomorrow.
Uh, these things really aren't quite appropriate.
Are you kidding? Lumpy said his best customers are politicians.
He even sold a pair of tight shoes to Earl Butz.
Mork, you don't understand.
It's a It's a different kind of affair.
It's for Nelson, my cousin, remember? He's running for city council.
Oh.
I thought I'd have a little reception so he could meet some local business leaders.
Well, I've never been to a political affair before.
Neither have I.
That's why I'm having such a hard time making all the arrangements.
Can I help you maybe? Can I help, huh? Je t'assiste? Ha-ha! Gee, Mork, I'm sorry, but I don't know how you could help.
I helped before.
Remember that surprise party for Remo when I invited everyone? Except Remo.
Yeah.
Boy, is he gonna be surprised when he finds out.
Yeah.
Since it's a political affair, maybe I could possibly plan the menu.
Since they're politicians, we could have ham stuffed with bologna.
And then have junkets for everybody.
Oh, I guess I'm not being very helpful, am I? Oh, Mork, well, you At least you always give it a good shot.
And I'll tell you, I don't know what I'd do without you.
Me neither.
( Laughs ) You know, you really are about the best friend I have in the whole world.
You are.
( Laughs ) So what's so funny about that? Nothing.
( Laughs ) Then why are you laughing? I'm not laughing, I I'm sneezing.
That's what happens when I have a cold.
Remember when I had a cold and I took a pill and it made me real small? Oh, yeah, you laughed then too.
Yeah, but I don't have a cold now.
I must be having an allergic reaction to something.
Huh.
Well, whenever we have an allergic reaction, we sneeze, like, you know, like "Ah-choo!" Well, that's what happens when we eat burritos.
I must be allergic to something in the room then.
( doorbell rings ) Huh.
Maybe there's something funny in the air.
Hopefully.
Hello, Mindy.
Oh, hi, Nelson.
Nice to see you.
There's my main man.
Nanu, nanu.
( slowly ): "Nanu, nanu.
" Nanu, nanu.
Of course, he's Italian.
( Italian accent): Nanu, nanu.
Great people, Italians.
Ah, so, uh, Nelson, what brings you by? Well, if I wanna fulfill my dream of becoming Walter Mondale, I've gotta run a good race.
So I've been out in the neighborhood, uh, looking for support.
People should never run without their supporters.
I want the common man to know the real Nelson Flavor.
I want the common man to know that Nelson Flavor cares.
( laughs ) Did I say something humorous? No.
No.
Sorry.
( both laugh ) Mork.
I think if we have something funny to say, we should share it with everyone.
Heh-heh! No, no, uh, see, Mork's laughing because Mork's happy and And he's happy because you're running for city council.
Aren't you, Mork? No.
( both laugh ) Mork, why don't you go into the kitchen and get us something to drink, okay? ( laughing ) Yeah, that boy is backing a winner, Mindy.
I haven't lost a contest since I beat Sister out as Mom's favorite.
Hey, let me show you this slogan I've been working on.
It's been noodling my gray cells for five days now.
Listen to this.
( chuckles ) Are we ready? "Nelson Flavor.
I'll do it your way.
" ( laughs loudly ) Are you, uh, making sport of me? ( chuckles ) He's making fun of me.
I did not come here to be insulted.
Nelson, now, please I have better things to do with my time.
Now, I'll be seeing you tomorrow night and I hope I won't be seeing Mr.
Hyena-puss.
Mork.
This could be terrible.
We've gotta do something about those allergies or it'll be embarrassing.
Well, you know something, Mindy? I just realized something.
( laughs ) The closer I get to you, the more I sneeze.
Really? Yeah.
See? Ha! Whoa.
Well, maybe it's just something you're wearing, maybe your perfume.
No, I'm not wearing perfume.
Or your hair spray? No, I don't wear that.
Well, that That pink stuff on your lips.
Hypoallergenic.
No, this is terrible.
I must be ( chuckles ) allergic ( laughs ) to you.
( laughs ) Oh, no.
Oh.
Oh ( melancholy theme playing ) Hey, Mork.
Something wrong? I have an allergy.
Oh.
Well, maybe you should go get some allergy shots.
What are those? Well, a doctor injects small amounts of whatever you're allergic to into your arm, and then gradually he increases the dose.
Where I'm from, we have a little man that drills inside your nose with sandpaper and a hose.
( laughs ) You know what? I bet that you'll find that allergy shots work much better.
You mean I can be cured? Well, there's a real good chance.
Oh, thanks, doctor, mmmmm.
You're welcome.
Hey, hey, hey.
That's enough of that.
I'm gonna get a shot of Mindy with a water back, boy.
Oh, wait, wait, wait.
A what? I I'm allergic to Mindy.
That's why I need a shot of her.
Oh, wait a minute.
That sorta changes things.
I mean, I did read once about this couple who had been happily married for ten years and then, bam, all of a sudden the husband was allergic to his own wife.
Then the doctor cured him, right? They were forced to split up.
They never saw each other again.
EXIDOR: Step aside.
Don't push.
There's plenty of food in here for everybody.
Exidor.
Mork.
Is that you? Ah.
Strange place for a swamp.
You're looking well.
Like to join us for lunch? Yeah.
Friend of yours, Mork? Yes, we're bosom buddies till the day our friendship sags.
May I help you? EXIDOR: Yes.
Table for 12.
Twelve? Mork, myself, and them.
Uh, I don't see anybody.
I run into this all the time.
Restaurants won't seat them just because of their color.
Well, come along, my friends, pay no attention to the bigot.
We'll just have to double up.
Mork, I'm a changed man.
Oh, you just got back from Denmark.
That's old business.
I owe the change to a complete new lifestyle.
I have just moved into a boss pad.
I want you to come visit me.
Uh, may I take your order? Yes.
How's the wildebeest today? Ooh! I'm sorry, we don't have wildebeest.
Fine, fine.
Bring the cricket lips.
Yeah, uh, I gotta tell you, this isn't a health food store.
No cricket lips.
No cricket lips? No wonder this place is empty.
Why don't you have a hot dog? Mork, I'm not into exotic foods.
I want you to come visit me.
My address.
"1283 Quaking Aspen Drive.
" I'm in 5 C.
Well, I guess I'll look for the apartment with no number on it.
Aha! Oh.
What?! I should have brought my frog scraper.
( playful theme playing ) Okay, so you're sure that's enough to feed all those people? Okay, okay, you're the caterer.
Well, I guess we're all set then.
I'll see you tomorrow night.
Okay, good, thanks a lot.
Mm-hm, bye-bye.
Mork.
Mork, what's all that? It's a cure for my allergy.
( laughs ) I've been worried about you ever since you left.
Things'll be just like they were before I was sick.
( laughs ) Yeah hmmm.
You sound like a phone call I had last night.
Listen, Mork, nobody wants you to live here more than I do, but you just can't spend your life in a scuba outfit.
Yes, I can, if I only talk for three seconds.
That's ridiculous.
We gotta find another way.
All right.
Well, I could always hold my breath.
Oh, now, that's ridiculous.
Oh, come on, Mork, come on.
You You're gonna hurt yourself.
Look, we'll find some way to cure you.
It might take time, but we'll find Mork.
Hey, Mork, come on.
That is being You're being ridiculous.
Whoa! ( laughing ) Oh, Mork, I hate to see you suffer like this.
( laughs hysterically ) Me too.
Ha-ha-ha-ha! Oh, oh.
Come on.
Oh.
Oh.
Min ( laughs ) Mindy, I've gotta get out of here.
It's too late.
But where are you gonna go? Well, maybe I can go stay with Exidor.
Oh.
Well, I guess that's the only thing to do until we find out how to fix things.
Oh, boy, am I gonna miss you.
( laughs ) ( laughing ): I'm gonna miss you too.
Well? Oh, here.
Ha-ha-ha-ha! Here.
Send my things to here.
Uh, take care of yourself huh? ( laughing ) Call me.
( upbeat theme playing ) ( upbeat theme playing ) What is? Mork.
What are you doing here? Well, you said I could come visit you.
Yes, I said that, but, uh, now is, uh Well, it's not a good time if you know what I mean.
Oh, you've got water in your ear, huh? I'm not alone.
I'm with a W-O-M-A-N.
Oh.
There's more to life than just preaching, you know.
Oh-ho-ho! Why don't you go home to your fox? I can't live with Mindy.
She threw you out? I'll put a hex on her in the morning, as soon as they deliver the dead coyotes.
Tonight you stay here.
Well, what about Touch her and you'll suck seaweed.
Come in, my friend.
Oh, this is wonderful.
Sears meets Rococo.
Mork, this is heaven.
And I owe my salvation to Gretchen.
Say hello to Mork, de Would you go put on some clothes? Naughty, naughty, naughty.
I love 'em zaftig.
Now you can see why I'm such a changed man, Mork.
It sure beats living alone, huh? Yes.
Sit down.
Make yourself at home.
Care for some iguana jerky? No, the little tiny claws get caught between my teeth.
You know, before I met Gretchen, it was all work, work, work.
But no more.
Sit right here, Angel Breath.
I'm so happy you wore the pink.
It's very nice.
I saw what you were staring at.
Oh, it's all right, Mork.
I understand, you're lonesome.
I was lonesome too until Gretchie asked me to move in with her.
This is her place.
How she can afford it, I'll never know.
But when you got a good thing going, don't ask a lot of questions.
Well, Mindy and I had a good thing going, but because of my allergy, no more.
Allergy? Well, I Every time I get near her, I start laughing.
Oh, relax.
It may be nothing more than mental illness.
Well I'd give anything to be normal again.
Maybe I can help you.
I developed a revolutionary allergy treatment years ago when I was a doctor.
This may be too tough for you, darling.
I injected the hair of a yak in the arm of an orangutan.
Did the cure work? Do you ever hear any sneezing in jungle movies? Well, do you think maybe if I put some of Mindy's hair and inject it in my arm, it'll cure me? ( laughs ) Stop, stop that tickling, now.
We can't do that now.
Ha-ha! It's getting a little late, isn't it? Late? It's only7:00.
Well, that is late.
Mork, we'll get back to your problem in the morning.
Come along, Gretchen darling.
If you need me, I'll be in there.
Oh, excuse me.
Where do I sleep? Why, on the couch, of course with Lola.
Lola? Gretchen's twin sister.
Oh, they They do look a lot alike.
( both chuckle ) ( upbeat theme playing ) Oh, Mork.
Oh, it's so good to see you again.
( muffled speech ) Oh.
Boy, it just hasn't been the same without you around here.
( muffled speech ) Oh, Mork, if only we could be close again.
Uh, ha-ha! I can't hear a word you're saying with that gag on your mouth.
( Grunts ) Oh, boy.
( nasal voice ): Well, I think I finally found a cure.
I think it might work, Mindy.
Really? I'll try anything.
Anything.
Well What is it? Well ( muffled ) I have to get a Mindy injection.
You're gonna what? I have to get a Mindy injection.
Boy, that That sounds weird.
Well, it's worth a try.
What I have to do is take a couple of hairs out of your head and inject them into my arm.
Oh, I don't know, Mork It's worth a shot.
Oh, I'll find some scissors.
Ow! Those aren't potato chips, buddy.
You can just take one.
Gee.
I have to take a massive dose so there's no problem.
Eeeeeeeee! ( doorbell rings ) Oh, no, my guests are here.
Will you wait? ( Laughs ) Mork, will you wait in the bedroom until you're cured? Shhh.
Please, please, please.
( doorbell ringing ) Just wait in here.
You're not as cute with that little bald spot up there, you know.
( Mork laughs, doorbell rings ) ( chattering ) Great party, Mindy.
All of Boulder's biggies are here.
Yeah, everybody seems to be having a good time, don't they? Party hearty.
( both chuckle ) Mindy, when I get elected, you'll have the satisfaction of knowing me when I was your cousin.
Well, you can count on my vote, Flavor.
It's refreshing to meet someone who has such compassion for the rich.
I look at it this way.
Who are the rich, but poor people with yachts? Excuse me.
Before I run off, uh, can I get you anything? Impossible.
I have everything.
You know, Nelson, you really amaze me.
You really know how to say what people wanna hear.
Well, there's two sides to every issue.
And I always agree with both.
( falsetto ): Coochie-coochie-coochie, Mr.
Prendergast.
Ha-ha-ha! Hello, hello.
Oh, Mr.
O'Keefe, what a lovely tie.
I guess they couldn't guess your weight, eh? Rabbi, is it true that Sammy Davis eats kosher chicken wings? Ha-ha! I feel like such a "mishugette.
" Look, a Frisbee.
Wham-o! Oh-ho-ho! May I take your hat? Sears had a sale, how wonderful.
Oh, missy.
Oh, what a lovely map of Utah.
Oh! Oh, those are veins.
I'm sorry.
Oh, welcome.
Hello.
Hey, hi.
He must have taken an overdose of me.
Who's she? Uh, you don't wanna know.
Another Wang, Mr.
Egg Roll? Excuse me, can I speak to you for a moment? Oh, sure.
Ta-ta.
Mork, what are you doing? I'm not Mork, I'm Mindy.
I'm Mindy.
( Clucking ) Mork Mork.
Mork.
Mindy.
Mindy.
Mork.
Now, you listen Nelson, I think we have a party crasher who's drunk.
Why don't you throw her out and I'll go powder my nose? Wait a minute.
Mork, when does this wear off? Let go.
You're hurting me.
PRENDERGAST: Who are you? I'm Mindy, Nelson's cousin, but let's not talk about that.
Let's dance till we don't know who we are.
Come.
( sings melody ) I think it's time to leave.
( disappointed chattering ) Nelson, our guests are leaving us.
Say goodbye.
Ciao.
Arrivederci.
La-la-la.
Take care.
Whoops, and a gift for you.
Oops! Something to remember us by.
Oh! Oh, what a night.
Fasten your seat belts, it's going to be a bumpy night.
( upbeat theme playing ) I took off all of your clothes.
Ha-ha-ha! There's still something I need unhooked if you get the chance.
I've got some good news for you.
The Mindy injection wore off and I'm almost back to abnormal.
( chuckles ) Yeah.
You're still mad, aren't you? Well, Mork, I'm not mad because you blew my party and I'm not mad because Nelson cried on my shoulder till my dress shrank.
But what I am upset about is that you just can't be you.
Ha! Well, no, I I've tried everything and nothing works.
I've been thinking, you didn't get sick until after I held you close and told you how much you meant to me.
So? So I think maybe you're not allergic to me at all.
I think maybe you're just afraid of getting too close to someone.
No, no, I I think now you're being real silly.
No, really.
( Laughs ) You're being kind of silly there.
No, I think it scares you.
No.
After all, it still It still is a new emotion.
Come here.
What're you gonna do? I'm gonna help you take the worry out of being close.
Oh, no.
Ha! Oh, no.
You keep away from me, boy.
Uh-uh.
Nuh-uh.
There's nothing in the air that you're allergic to.
That's why none of those things worked.
You tried air hoses, nose plugs, allergy shots.
And now you're gonna try a little of me.
No.
Ha-ha! No, no.
( southern accent ): I'm gonna hug you till your eyes pop out.
No way! ( laughing uncontrollably ) ( normal voice ): It's all right.
( laughter subsiding ) There.
Yeah.
Ohhh.
You stopped laughing.
Yeah.
I think your allergy is cured.
Sure beats the heck out of going to a doctor, huh? Yeah.
Oh, thanks, you You helped me be more human.
Well, what's an earthling for, after all, right? Yeah.
You know what? What? Your underwear is kinda comfortable.
Let me show you ( upbeat theme playing ) ( mystical theme playing ) MORK: Mork calling Orson.
Come in, Orson.
Mork calling Orson.
Come in, Orson.
Mork calling Orson.
Come in, Orson.
( imitates zooming, imitates buzzing ) ORSON: What did you learn this week? Oh, beaucoup de choses, Your Lordship.
But mainly I learned a lot about politics.
What's politics? It's the art of fooling most of the people most of the time, as often as possible.
Politics sounds very strange.
Oh, it is, sir.
A politician will do anything to get in office.
He'll kiss babies, mules.
When he finally gets into office and you call him, they say, "He's not in the office at this time.
Beep!" Don't Earthlings have any leaders they admire? Oh, yes, sir, they do.
But they're all dead.
The most famous is one called George Washington.
He's the one that's on the dollar bill that's only worth 45 cents.
What did he do? Well, he slept here, he slept here, he slept there.
I guess that's why most politicians honor him by doing the same thing.
It looks like you've learned a lot, Mork.
Oh, more than you know, sir.
( chuckles ) I even learned that an allergy is nothing to sneeze at.
Argh! You mean you were sick? Well, sir, I wouldn't call it that, but I I did develop an extreme reaction to being too close to Mindy.
You're playing with fire, Mork.
I know, sir.
According to the Orkan General, closeness is the leading cause of disease.
Oh, sir, I I used to believe that old voodoo.
But if closeness is so wrong, why are we born with arms, huh? Isn't that kind of Zen-like? Think about that till next week, sir.
It'll probably take you an hour or so.
Catch you later.
Until then ( chanting ): Ommm, ommm on the range.
( upbeat theme playing ) ( upbeat theme playing )
( upbeat theme playing ) ( upbeat theme playing ) Mindy.
Mindy, Mindy, Mindy, Mindy, Mindy.
Whoa.
Ho-ho! Have I got a present for you.
Oh.
Here, go ahead, open it.
Open, open.
Mork, you bought me a present.
Oh, too slow.
I'll open it for you.
( muttering ) ( imitates fanfare ) That's so nice.
Heh, a mask.
Hi-yo, Silver.
Yeah.
Huh, big black boots, heh-heh! Big ones.
And, uh Oh, my, yes.
Other things, huh? Headphones.
Ah! Gee, Mork, uh, why'd you buy me these things? I heard you say you were having an affair and you didn't have anything to wear.
So I met this wonderful cabdriver named Aloo and he took me shopping.
Uh, Mork.
See, I'm having a political affair tomorrow.
Uh, these things really aren't quite appropriate.
Are you kidding? Lumpy said his best customers are politicians.
He even sold a pair of tight shoes to Earl Butz.
Mork, you don't understand.
It's a It's a different kind of affair.
It's for Nelson, my cousin, remember? He's running for city council.
Oh.
I thought I'd have a little reception so he could meet some local business leaders.
Well, I've never been to a political affair before.
Neither have I.
That's why I'm having such a hard time making all the arrangements.
Can I help you maybe? Can I help, huh? Je t'assiste? Ha-ha! Gee, Mork, I'm sorry, but I don't know how you could help.
I helped before.
Remember that surprise party for Remo when I invited everyone? Except Remo.
Yeah.
Boy, is he gonna be surprised when he finds out.
Yeah.
Since it's a political affair, maybe I could possibly plan the menu.
Since they're politicians, we could have ham stuffed with bologna.
And then have junkets for everybody.
Oh, I guess I'm not being very helpful, am I? Oh, Mork, well, you At least you always give it a good shot.
And I'll tell you, I don't know what I'd do without you.
Me neither.
( Laughs ) You know, you really are about the best friend I have in the whole world.
You are.
( Laughs ) So what's so funny about that? Nothing.
( Laughs ) Then why are you laughing? I'm not laughing, I I'm sneezing.
That's what happens when I have a cold.
Remember when I had a cold and I took a pill and it made me real small? Oh, yeah, you laughed then too.
Yeah, but I don't have a cold now.
I must be having an allergic reaction to something.
Huh.
Well, whenever we have an allergic reaction, we sneeze, like, you know, like "Ah-choo!" Well, that's what happens when we eat burritos.
I must be allergic to something in the room then.
( doorbell rings ) Huh.
Maybe there's something funny in the air.
Hopefully.
Hello, Mindy.
Oh, hi, Nelson.
Nice to see you.
There's my main man.
Nanu, nanu.
( slowly ): "Nanu, nanu.
" Nanu, nanu.
Of course, he's Italian.
( Italian accent): Nanu, nanu.
Great people, Italians.
Ah, so, uh, Nelson, what brings you by? Well, if I wanna fulfill my dream of becoming Walter Mondale, I've gotta run a good race.
So I've been out in the neighborhood, uh, looking for support.
People should never run without their supporters.
I want the common man to know the real Nelson Flavor.
I want the common man to know that Nelson Flavor cares.
( laughs ) Did I say something humorous? No.
No.
Sorry.
( both laugh ) Mork.
I think if we have something funny to say, we should share it with everyone.
Heh-heh! No, no, uh, see, Mork's laughing because Mork's happy and And he's happy because you're running for city council.
Aren't you, Mork? No.
( both laugh ) Mork, why don't you go into the kitchen and get us something to drink, okay? ( laughing ) Yeah, that boy is backing a winner, Mindy.
I haven't lost a contest since I beat Sister out as Mom's favorite.
Hey, let me show you this slogan I've been working on.
It's been noodling my gray cells for five days now.
Listen to this.
( chuckles ) Are we ready? "Nelson Flavor.
I'll do it your way.
" ( laughs loudly ) Are you, uh, making sport of me? ( chuckles ) He's making fun of me.
I did not come here to be insulted.
Nelson, now, please I have better things to do with my time.
Now, I'll be seeing you tomorrow night and I hope I won't be seeing Mr.
Hyena-puss.
Mork.
This could be terrible.
We've gotta do something about those allergies or it'll be embarrassing.
Well, you know something, Mindy? I just realized something.
( laughs ) The closer I get to you, the more I sneeze.
Really? Yeah.
See? Ha! Whoa.
Well, maybe it's just something you're wearing, maybe your perfume.
No, I'm not wearing perfume.
Or your hair spray? No, I don't wear that.
Well, that That pink stuff on your lips.
Hypoallergenic.
No, this is terrible.
I must be ( chuckles ) allergic ( laughs ) to you.
( laughs ) Oh, no.
Oh.
Oh ( melancholy theme playing ) Hey, Mork.
Something wrong? I have an allergy.
Oh.
Well, maybe you should go get some allergy shots.
What are those? Well, a doctor injects small amounts of whatever you're allergic to into your arm, and then gradually he increases the dose.
Where I'm from, we have a little man that drills inside your nose with sandpaper and a hose.
( laughs ) You know what? I bet that you'll find that allergy shots work much better.
You mean I can be cured? Well, there's a real good chance.
Oh, thanks, doctor, mmmmm.
You're welcome.
Hey, hey, hey.
That's enough of that.
I'm gonna get a shot of Mindy with a water back, boy.
Oh, wait, wait, wait.
A what? I I'm allergic to Mindy.
That's why I need a shot of her.
Oh, wait a minute.
That sorta changes things.
I mean, I did read once about this couple who had been happily married for ten years and then, bam, all of a sudden the husband was allergic to his own wife.
Then the doctor cured him, right? They were forced to split up.
They never saw each other again.
EXIDOR: Step aside.
Don't push.
There's plenty of food in here for everybody.
Exidor.
Mork.
Is that you? Ah.
Strange place for a swamp.
You're looking well.
Like to join us for lunch? Yeah.
Friend of yours, Mork? Yes, we're bosom buddies till the day our friendship sags.
May I help you? EXIDOR: Yes.
Table for 12.
Twelve? Mork, myself, and them.
Uh, I don't see anybody.
I run into this all the time.
Restaurants won't seat them just because of their color.
Well, come along, my friends, pay no attention to the bigot.
We'll just have to double up.
Mork, I'm a changed man.
Oh, you just got back from Denmark.
That's old business.
I owe the change to a complete new lifestyle.
I have just moved into a boss pad.
I want you to come visit me.
Uh, may I take your order? Yes.
How's the wildebeest today? Ooh! I'm sorry, we don't have wildebeest.
Fine, fine.
Bring the cricket lips.
Yeah, uh, I gotta tell you, this isn't a health food store.
No cricket lips.
No cricket lips? No wonder this place is empty.
Why don't you have a hot dog? Mork, I'm not into exotic foods.
I want you to come visit me.
My address.
"1283 Quaking Aspen Drive.
" I'm in 5 C.
Well, I guess I'll look for the apartment with no number on it.
Aha! Oh.
What?! I should have brought my frog scraper.
( playful theme playing ) Okay, so you're sure that's enough to feed all those people? Okay, okay, you're the caterer.
Well, I guess we're all set then.
I'll see you tomorrow night.
Okay, good, thanks a lot.
Mm-hm, bye-bye.
Mork.
Mork, what's all that? It's a cure for my allergy.
( laughs ) I've been worried about you ever since you left.
Things'll be just like they were before I was sick.
( laughs ) Yeah hmmm.
You sound like a phone call I had last night.
Listen, Mork, nobody wants you to live here more than I do, but you just can't spend your life in a scuba outfit.
Yes, I can, if I only talk for three seconds.
That's ridiculous.
We gotta find another way.
All right.
Well, I could always hold my breath.
Oh, now, that's ridiculous.
Oh, come on, Mork, come on.
You You're gonna hurt yourself.
Look, we'll find some way to cure you.
It might take time, but we'll find Mork.
Hey, Mork, come on.
That is being You're being ridiculous.
Whoa! ( laughing ) Oh, Mork, I hate to see you suffer like this.
( laughs hysterically ) Me too.
Ha-ha-ha-ha! Oh, oh.
Come on.
Oh.
Oh.
Min ( laughs ) Mindy, I've gotta get out of here.
It's too late.
But where are you gonna go? Well, maybe I can go stay with Exidor.
Oh.
Well, I guess that's the only thing to do until we find out how to fix things.
Oh, boy, am I gonna miss you.
( laughs ) ( laughing ): I'm gonna miss you too.
Well? Oh, here.
Ha-ha-ha-ha! Here.
Send my things to here.
Uh, take care of yourself huh? ( laughing ) Call me.
( upbeat theme playing ) ( upbeat theme playing ) What is? Mork.
What are you doing here? Well, you said I could come visit you.
Yes, I said that, but, uh, now is, uh Well, it's not a good time if you know what I mean.
Oh, you've got water in your ear, huh? I'm not alone.
I'm with a W-O-M-A-N.
Oh.
There's more to life than just preaching, you know.
Oh-ho-ho! Why don't you go home to your fox? I can't live with Mindy.
She threw you out? I'll put a hex on her in the morning, as soon as they deliver the dead coyotes.
Tonight you stay here.
Well, what about Touch her and you'll suck seaweed.
Come in, my friend.
Oh, this is wonderful.
Sears meets Rococo.
Mork, this is heaven.
And I owe my salvation to Gretchen.
Say hello to Mork, de Would you go put on some clothes? Naughty, naughty, naughty.
I love 'em zaftig.
Now you can see why I'm such a changed man, Mork.
It sure beats living alone, huh? Yes.
Sit down.
Make yourself at home.
Care for some iguana jerky? No, the little tiny claws get caught between my teeth.
You know, before I met Gretchen, it was all work, work, work.
But no more.
Sit right here, Angel Breath.
I'm so happy you wore the pink.
It's very nice.
I saw what you were staring at.
Oh, it's all right, Mork.
I understand, you're lonesome.
I was lonesome too until Gretchie asked me to move in with her.
This is her place.
How she can afford it, I'll never know.
But when you got a good thing going, don't ask a lot of questions.
Well, Mindy and I had a good thing going, but because of my allergy, no more.
Allergy? Well, I Every time I get near her, I start laughing.
Oh, relax.
It may be nothing more than mental illness.
Well I'd give anything to be normal again.
Maybe I can help you.
I developed a revolutionary allergy treatment years ago when I was a doctor.
This may be too tough for you, darling.
I injected the hair of a yak in the arm of an orangutan.
Did the cure work? Do you ever hear any sneezing in jungle movies? Well, do you think maybe if I put some of Mindy's hair and inject it in my arm, it'll cure me? ( laughs ) Stop, stop that tickling, now.
We can't do that now.
Ha-ha! It's getting a little late, isn't it? Late? It's only7:00.
Well, that is late.
Mork, we'll get back to your problem in the morning.
Come along, Gretchen darling.
If you need me, I'll be in there.
Oh, excuse me.
Where do I sleep? Why, on the couch, of course with Lola.
Lola? Gretchen's twin sister.
Oh, they They do look a lot alike.
( both chuckle ) ( upbeat theme playing ) Oh, Mork.
Oh, it's so good to see you again.
( muffled speech ) Oh.
Boy, it just hasn't been the same without you around here.
( muffled speech ) Oh, Mork, if only we could be close again.
Uh, ha-ha! I can't hear a word you're saying with that gag on your mouth.
( Grunts ) Oh, boy.
( nasal voice ): Well, I think I finally found a cure.
I think it might work, Mindy.
Really? I'll try anything.
Anything.
Well What is it? Well ( muffled ) I have to get a Mindy injection.
You're gonna what? I have to get a Mindy injection.
Boy, that That sounds weird.
Well, it's worth a try.
What I have to do is take a couple of hairs out of your head and inject them into my arm.
Oh, I don't know, Mork It's worth a shot.
Oh, I'll find some scissors.
Ow! Those aren't potato chips, buddy.
You can just take one.
Gee.
I have to take a massive dose so there's no problem.
Eeeeeeeee! ( doorbell rings ) Oh, no, my guests are here.
Will you wait? ( Laughs ) Mork, will you wait in the bedroom until you're cured? Shhh.
Please, please, please.
( doorbell ringing ) Just wait in here.
You're not as cute with that little bald spot up there, you know.
( Mork laughs, doorbell rings ) ( chattering ) Great party, Mindy.
All of Boulder's biggies are here.
Yeah, everybody seems to be having a good time, don't they? Party hearty.
( both chuckle ) Mindy, when I get elected, you'll have the satisfaction of knowing me when I was your cousin.
Well, you can count on my vote, Flavor.
It's refreshing to meet someone who has such compassion for the rich.
I look at it this way.
Who are the rich, but poor people with yachts? Excuse me.
Before I run off, uh, can I get you anything? Impossible.
I have everything.
You know, Nelson, you really amaze me.
You really know how to say what people wanna hear.
Well, there's two sides to every issue.
And I always agree with both.
( falsetto ): Coochie-coochie-coochie, Mr.
Prendergast.
Ha-ha-ha! Hello, hello.
Oh, Mr.
O'Keefe, what a lovely tie.
I guess they couldn't guess your weight, eh? Rabbi, is it true that Sammy Davis eats kosher chicken wings? Ha-ha! I feel like such a "mishugette.
" Look, a Frisbee.
Wham-o! Oh-ho-ho! May I take your hat? Sears had a sale, how wonderful.
Oh, missy.
Oh, what a lovely map of Utah.
Oh! Oh, those are veins.
I'm sorry.
Oh, welcome.
Hello.
Hey, hi.
He must have taken an overdose of me.
Who's she? Uh, you don't wanna know.
Another Wang, Mr.
Egg Roll? Excuse me, can I speak to you for a moment? Oh, sure.
Ta-ta.
Mork, what are you doing? I'm not Mork, I'm Mindy.
I'm Mindy.
( Clucking ) Mork Mork.
Mork.
Mindy.
Mindy.
Mork.
Now, you listen Nelson, I think we have a party crasher who's drunk.
Why don't you throw her out and I'll go powder my nose? Wait a minute.
Mork, when does this wear off? Let go.
You're hurting me.
PRENDERGAST: Who are you? I'm Mindy, Nelson's cousin, but let's not talk about that.
Let's dance till we don't know who we are.
Come.
( sings melody ) I think it's time to leave.
( disappointed chattering ) Nelson, our guests are leaving us.
Say goodbye.
Ciao.
Arrivederci.
La-la-la.
Take care.
Whoops, and a gift for you.
Oops! Something to remember us by.
Oh! Oh, what a night.
Fasten your seat belts, it's going to be a bumpy night.
( upbeat theme playing ) I took off all of your clothes.
Ha-ha-ha! There's still something I need unhooked if you get the chance.
I've got some good news for you.
The Mindy injection wore off and I'm almost back to abnormal.
( chuckles ) Yeah.
You're still mad, aren't you? Well, Mork, I'm not mad because you blew my party and I'm not mad because Nelson cried on my shoulder till my dress shrank.
But what I am upset about is that you just can't be you.
Ha! Well, no, I I've tried everything and nothing works.
I've been thinking, you didn't get sick until after I held you close and told you how much you meant to me.
So? So I think maybe you're not allergic to me at all.
I think maybe you're just afraid of getting too close to someone.
No, no, I I think now you're being real silly.
No, really.
( Laughs ) You're being kind of silly there.
No, I think it scares you.
No.
After all, it still It still is a new emotion.
Come here.
What're you gonna do? I'm gonna help you take the worry out of being close.
Oh, no.
Ha! Oh, no.
You keep away from me, boy.
Uh-uh.
Nuh-uh.
There's nothing in the air that you're allergic to.
That's why none of those things worked.
You tried air hoses, nose plugs, allergy shots.
And now you're gonna try a little of me.
No.
Ha-ha! No, no.
( southern accent ): I'm gonna hug you till your eyes pop out.
No way! ( laughing uncontrollably ) ( normal voice ): It's all right.
( laughter subsiding ) There.
Yeah.
Ohhh.
You stopped laughing.
Yeah.
I think your allergy is cured.
Sure beats the heck out of going to a doctor, huh? Yeah.
Oh, thanks, you You helped me be more human.
Well, what's an earthling for, after all, right? Yeah.
You know what? What? Your underwear is kinda comfortable.
Let me show you ( upbeat theme playing ) ( mystical theme playing ) MORK: Mork calling Orson.
Come in, Orson.
Mork calling Orson.
Come in, Orson.
Mork calling Orson.
Come in, Orson.
( imitates zooming, imitates buzzing ) ORSON: What did you learn this week? Oh, beaucoup de choses, Your Lordship.
But mainly I learned a lot about politics.
What's politics? It's the art of fooling most of the people most of the time, as often as possible.
Politics sounds very strange.
Oh, it is, sir.
A politician will do anything to get in office.
He'll kiss babies, mules.
When he finally gets into office and you call him, they say, "He's not in the office at this time.
Beep!" Don't Earthlings have any leaders they admire? Oh, yes, sir, they do.
But they're all dead.
The most famous is one called George Washington.
He's the one that's on the dollar bill that's only worth 45 cents.
What did he do? Well, he slept here, he slept here, he slept there.
I guess that's why most politicians honor him by doing the same thing.
It looks like you've learned a lot, Mork.
Oh, more than you know, sir.
( chuckles ) I even learned that an allergy is nothing to sneeze at.
Argh! You mean you were sick? Well, sir, I wouldn't call it that, but I I did develop an extreme reaction to being too close to Mindy.
You're playing with fire, Mork.
I know, sir.
According to the Orkan General, closeness is the leading cause of disease.
Oh, sir, I I used to believe that old voodoo.
But if closeness is so wrong, why are we born with arms, huh? Isn't that kind of Zen-like? Think about that till next week, sir.
It'll probably take you an hour or so.
Catch you later.
Until then ( chanting ): Ommm, ommm on the range.
( upbeat theme playing ) ( upbeat theme playing )