Never Have I Ever (2020) s02e07 Episode Script

Like me with the
Australian Open of 1990,
Devi was asked to leave her school,
and Nalini was making sure
that a week off of school
did not feel like a holiday.
No friends, no phone, no
video games, no internet.
The only thing Devi was allowed to do
was help out her grandmother, Nirmala.
In some ways, it was a window
into how people lived in the past,
- in a slower-paced, technology-free world.
- Watch it, okay?
Oh! Who am I kidding?
This was boring as hell.
Yes.
Now, put it all back.
Ow! Ow!
Honestly, between you and me,
I might just call in sick this week.
I'm not sure how much
more of this I can take.
Kamala, are you feeling okay?
It's just boring work politics.
It's not worth getting into.
Yes, it is. Please, I'm
desperate for any sort of gossip.
I spent three hours sorting
Pati's blood pressure pills today.
Give me something!
Fine. My boss didn't credit
me on our lab's paper,
even though that nimrod
used all my research for it.
Welcome to the workforce.
There's always gonna be men
who take credit for your work,
and undermine you, and
choose the exact moment
when you're making a meaningful
point to completely interrupt
Devi! Let me in!
Ben?
How could you start
that rumor about Aneesa?
I didn't mean to. It was an accident!
Of course you didn't.
You don't mean to ruin
lives, but you keep doing it!
Benjamin, what is the meaning
of this dinnertime hubbub?
I'm sorry to barge in
like this, Dr. Vishwakumar,
but it's an emergency.
Wow! Dinner smells amazing by the way.
Thank you, child. Now, was that so hard?
This ten-year-old boy was
able to give me a compliment.
Not now, Pati.
Aneesa's changing schools again.
She is?
Because of what Devi did?
Her college transcript's
gonna be a mess.
You've sentenced her to a mid-tier
Division III liberal arts school.
Uh, I don't know. She could spin
that into a pretty good essay.
Devi, you need to make things right.
How am I supposed to fix it?
I'm suspended, and she hates me!
If you don't figure it out,
she's gone by the end of the week.
So figure it out.
Madam Vishwakumar, Elder Madam
Vishwakumar, Cousin Kamala,
I am sorry for
interrupting your evening.
So then, he just burst into my house
and bitched me out in
front of my entire family,
including my old-ass grandma!
Well, what you did was pretty messed up.
What? You're gonna dunk on me too?
You're supposed to be on my side, Doc!
I am on your side!
But that means being honest with you
and dunking on you
when it's appropriate.
So, Ben's still mad at you, huh?
Big mad. He's angry about
so much at this point,
I don't think I'll ever
be able to win him back.
And it sucks because I know
he's right about all of it too.
Do you feel guilty about
what you did to Aneesa?
No doy. I feel like shit.
Aneesa's dope, and I basically
curb-stomped our friendship.
Even if I could go to school, I
bet she wouldn't wanna talk to me.
And if I don't get her
to stay at Sherman Oaks,
Ben will hate me forever too.
Devi, I think, for your own good,
you should find a way
to apologize to Aneesa.
It's the right thing to do.
And it'll give you what
you most desperately want.
What's that? Ben?
What? No!
Peace!
Inner peace and moral clarity!
But also Ben, right?
If I get Aneesa to stay at Sherman Oaks,
that will prove to Ben I'm a good
person, and he'll like me again!
No, no, no!
Devi, we don't apologize
to get something in return.
For sure. For sure. I
am obviously apologizing
because I feel horrible
about what I did to Aneesa,
and I want her to be my friend again.
But
if I also got Ben, that
wouldn't be so bad, right?
And our time here is up,
and I have failed once again.
Hey, real quick. Can I check your phone?
I just want to watch three TikToks, max.
Bye-bye.
Chris, we got your
mail accidentally again.
All right, yes.
Derm magazine! I've been
waiting on this issue.
I'm listed as one of
the best doctors in LA.
But, um
I don't see you anywhere.
Whoa, hey, I I'm sorry,
I was just kidding around.
Are you okay?
If it makes you feel any better, my
picture is by an ad for foot cream.
Look.
I'm not crying 'cause
of your silly magazine.
I'm crying because
I'm a terrible mother!
I work all the time. I haven't
raised my daughter properly.
Hey. Come on, have a seat.
Want a jade roller for puffiness?
No, those are the stupidest
things Okay, just give me one.
So talk to me. What's going on?
My daughter is acting out all
the time, and it's getting worse,
and she bullied a
girl so badly in school
that that girl is now leaving school,
and I do not know what to do because
I truly do not understand her.
I get it.
My son is not speaking to me
because I offered to send him
and his friends to
Vegas for his birthday.
What? That sounds very nice.
Not to him.
He says he became a
socialist in college,
and Vegas steals from the working poor.
I just wanted him to get
drunk and see Penn & Teller.
My husband would've
known exactly what to do.
Those two were two peas in a pod,
and I was Mommy, the workaholic.
Here's my advice.
Sometimes I come home dead
tired from a long day at work,
and my son asks me for something
I can't even wrap my mind around.
And I just say yes.
If your child needs
you, you just say yes.
Okay, so I thought we could look
through my pictures of our family,
and I'll tell you who's dead.
Sounds fun! But, Pati, do you feel well?
You look very, very pale.
I think I've been running myself
ragged cleaning up after everyone.
Mm-hmm.
- Have you tried a Gravity Blanket before?
- No.
They're like a regular blanket
except it's very, very heavy.
Oh, it is heavy and comforting.
- It's like being held!
- Uh-huh.
I haven't been held in
And she's out.
With Devi's new mission
to win over Aneesa,
and thereby, win back Ben,
she needed a jailbreak
from her suspension prison.
She had to get over to the school,
but that meant creating
an elaborate scheme
to ensure that her grandmother
would never know she was missing.
If everything went according to plan,
Nirmala would be occupied for
the next six or seven hours,
and Devi would be free to
make some apology magic.
Let me just finish this one email,
and then we can go and eat outside.
I've been dreaming of those
bean chalupas all morning!
I know. I got a trio of salsas for us.
Damn it.
Should I have just gotten one salsa?
Guess that would've been
more decisive and confident.
No! I'm mad because
Evan's submitting the paper
to the journal tomorrow,
and my name's not on it.
Really? He left you off?
I followed your advice
about playing the game,
but he still doesn't respect me.
The only thing I've
gotten out of this rotation
is a subscription to a
Dungeons & Dragons newsletter.
I'm so sorry. That sounds awful.
I tried talking to Dr. Peters about it,
but he didn't wanna get involved.
Wait, you complained to Dr. Peters?
Yeah, I thought that
maybe he would help.
Why? Was that wrong?
No, but you don't want to burn
bridges this early in your career.
I didn't burn a bridge. I
just asked for what I deserved.
Of course, but you also don't want
someone like Dr. Peters to think
you're difficult to work with.
So you don't think that I
should do anything about this?
I'm just saying that you're
almost done with this rotation.
If I were you, I'd put my
head down and get through it!
Keep your chin up.
So just to be clear. Put my
head down, but keep my chin up?
Exactly. Should we go eat our chalupas?
Yeah.
- He doesn't fart.
- No.
- He doesn't! Never in his life!
- Who doesn't fart?
Get away from me, pedophile!
It's me! Your friend. Devi? From school?
Wow, you really look like a pervert.
Anyway, I need your help.
I need to figure out a
way to apologize to Aneesa
so she doesn't move away.
My dad always said,
"If you mess up big, you have
to apologize even bigger."
And you messed up
huge! Like, crazy huge.
I'm just saying you need
to make a serious overture.
Ooh, I love an overture.
I'm thinking upbeat apology
with a pinch of school spirit,
a splash of pageantry.
What are your thoughts
on the marching band?
Honestly, I really like them.
I do too!
No doy! They're the coolest.
Okay, something is percolating.
Let's go to the costume room
and look for inspiration.
The girls hadn't quite landed
on the perfect apology yet,
but luckily, they had plenty of time,
because back at home,
Nirmala had slowly puttered
straight into the elaborate web
that Devi had spun for her.
Devi!
Aw.
Mm.
I wonder what this next one is.
They're all cookies,
Nirmala! But take your time.
Devi?
Oh, Nalini. I suppose
Nirmala has to fix everything.
Devi?
And please bless my grandmother.
She's my inspiration and the only reason
this house hasn't fallen apart yet.
And if you could give her the idea
to make some of her famous
neer dosas for dinner tonight
I know they take her hours to prepare,
but they would really bring this
family some much-needed cheer.
Whoo!
Ready? Okay!
S-O-R-R-Y,
she ain't got no alibi! She's sorry!
- Hey, hey! She's sorry!
- Whoo!
Aneesa, don't go to
another school because
you know you're a Cricket in your heart!
Is this your way of apologizing to me?
Yeah, did you not see the sign?
Wait, why are you sorry, Crazy Devi?
It's 'cause she told
everybody that she's anorexic.
I forgot all about that!
But now I remember.
Thanks for the apology, Devi.
You've now ensured my final week here
is about how much of a freak I am.
Great work.
In what world was that a good apology?
I thought she would like it, and
I worked really hard on the dance.
David, use your brain.
Oh, wow! Vishwakumar,
this is really impressive,
but I am gonna need to see you
in my classroom like, right now.
Hi, excuse me. I'm here to pick up Devi.
You're Devi's mother?
No. I'm her cousin, Kamala.
Kamala, it's nice to meet
you. I'm Mr. Kulkarni. Manish!
- So, uh, your cousin's a nerd.
- Rude.
She couldn't stay away from
school for more than ten minutes,
- so she's now officially a trespasser.
- Yeah, that sounds like her.
So if you could, I don't
know, lock her in a closet
and make sure she never comes
back, we'd really appreciate it.
We have an old spooky
shed. Will that work?
Spookier the better.
'Cause you know what?
It's actually a bad look for our people
to have an Indian kid be this
obsessed with being at school.
Yeah, it's also not a great
look for our people
to have an Indian kid
dress up like a giant insect
and do a mediocre dance routine.
Can I not be roasted by India's
Last Comic Standing, please?
Okay, let's go, you little maniac.
It's nice to meet you, Manish.
You too, Kamala.
Mister K, you did me dirty,
and I will not forget.
How did you get out of the house?
I sort of Ferris-Bueller'd it.
You never take no for an answer, do you?
You never let anyone get
in the way of what you want.
Hmm, I guess not.
Let me ask you a question.
You know how I was left
off my research paper?
What would you do if you were me?
Hmm, I don't know, but maybe we could
run a simulation and
gauge my rage level.
Okay. Imagine you made the discovery
that the whole paper was based on.
That's messed up.
You had to work late every night,
missing dinners with
your handsome boyfriend.
Blood's starting to boil.
You're the only girl in the lab,
and you have to work
for a rude, sexist jerk,
and that jerk has made you
play the kidnapped daughter
of the maharaja in many
different LARPing quests.
Damn! I'm pissed!
Huh.
Kamala, you've been wronged, and
it's okay to demand it be righted.
Everyone thinks Asian women
will take all kinds of crap,
like bow or hand them a cup of tea
or some shit. You can't let them.
Wow, Devi.
I'm impressed that you've been
able to take your rage problem
and attach it to systemic
racism and sexism.
- Hmm.
- But I'm more impressed that you're right.
Later that night,
Devi couldn't stop thinking
about what she'd done to Aneesa.
She knew how shitty it felt
to be labeled the school freak.
As she looked at her dad's picture,
she realized she might've misunderstood
his advice about apologies.
Maybe it wasn't that the apology needed
to be physically
bigger than the mistake,
but be bigger in heart.
And then she remembered the greatest
apology her father ever gave.
How could you not show up?
When we first came to this country,
I thought I was going
to do something great.
Now here I am, unemployed,
while my wife is receiving
professional awards.
- Mohan
- But
I should've been there for you, Nalu.
I was acting petty and selfish.
I should've been able
to look at your success
without seeing my own failure.
My success is your
success. You're my husband.
I know that, and I will
never make that mistake again.
From now on, I will
always show up, I promise.
Devi knew what she had to do.
Psst! Aneesa.
Bro, what are you doing back here?
Can I talk to you in private?
Oh, you want to apologize again?
Please, go off. Publicly
humiliate me again.
Well, this is probably gonna
be worse for both you and me.
But you call the shots, so All right.
No one told you to get on a chair.
Well, I'm already up here, so here goes.
Hi!
Devi Vishwakumar here,
from school.
Many of you know, I have wronged Aneesa.
Multiple times.
Yes, multiple times.
And it's only because, well
When Aneesa came here,
I felt threatened by her.
I was like, "What the hell?"
"Another Indian girl
who's prettier, cooler,
and has figured out her eyebrow shape."
But, Aneesa,
I really don't want you to leave.
I want us to be friends.
I think you're awesome,
and if you stay
I promise to be a really
great friend to you.
Well, do you forgive her, Crazy Aneesa?
Uh, nah-uh! There's no "Crazy Aneesa."
I'm the only crazy one. Remember
that time I fought a coyote?
Hey, that was my house!
Yeah! And how about the time
I almost killed the
captain of the swim team
because I was cheating on
him with this little dude?
Hi.
Wow, you are crazy!
Right?
Devi, what the hell? What
are you doing back here?
Get off the couch!
- Come on!
- Yeah. Yeah. Sorry.
Why are you dressed like a white nerd?
There is a moderate
risk of severe storms
Hmm, a chance of T-storms
across the plains.
Do we know anyone there
that we should warn?
and then exit the
area as this whole
Hi.
I don't know whether to be
scared or excited to see you.
Relax.
Yeah.
I just wanted to say that I
appreciated what you said today.
You're kind of a pain, but I think
your heart's in the right place.
I swear it is.
I'm aware that I sometimes
have a problematic personality,
but I'm trying to be better.
I'd love it if I didn't have to
spend most of my day apologizing.
Yeah, you could add
another extracurricular.
Maybe, uh, entomology club?
Hey, I'm not that big of a dork.
Are we good?
We're good.
- So you'll stay at our school?
- No.
- Excuse?
- We're good,
but the ship sailed of me
staying at Sherman Oaks.
My mom's mind is made up,
and there's no changing it.
But there's got to be
something we can do.
I'm a pro at manipulating my
parents, and they're not budging.
Thanks for trying.
I'm glad we at least cleared
the air before I left.
Devi felt hopeless.
Aneesa said her mom wouldn't
budge on transferring her,
and who could possibly convince a
hard-hearted, stubborn Indian woman
to change her mind?
Hello, I'm home!
Mom, help me. Convince Aneesa's
mom to let her stay at our school.
Devi, that's their family business.
I don't want to meddle in it.
Do you want me to have
an Indian friend or not?
Please, I need you.
And just then, Nalini remembered
what Dr. Jackson had said.
Not about how we should
destigmatize BOTOX for men,
but about how, when your
children say they need you,
you just say yes.
Okay.
Good, because they're already here.
What?
- Go.
- Devi! I'm not ready!
Hello! I'm Devi's mother,
Nalini. Please come on in.
- Hello, I'm Noor.
- Hi.
Um
Can I get you something
to drink or anything?
No, we won't be here long.
Mom, relax.
Noor, I understand why you're so angry.
I mean, Devi was way out of line.
So out of line.
Like, the line was here, and
I was freaking way over there.
Devi, sweetheart, why don't
you take Aneesa up to your room?
Mm.
Goodbye.
I am so, so sorry for the situation.
This was supposed to
be Aneesa's fresh start.
I never expected her to
be stabbed in the back
by the only other Indian girl in school.
It's excruciating to see
your child go through that.
I completely understand,
and I I have to believe
that the reason Devi did that
is because she herself is so hurt.
Um, I don't know if you know,
but she lost her father
suddenly, not long ago,
and we've struggled a bit with it. Um
I'm very sorry to hear that.
And that's not an excuse, Noor,
but I promise you we are a good family.
We've just gone through a hard time.
I understand.
Please, give the school another chance.
We'd be so lucky to have
you in our community.
Holy crap, you did it!
That was like the WWE
Smackdown of Indian moms,
and you pile-drived her ass!
That's not what happened, Devi.
We actually had a very civilized
conversation about motherhood.
Hmm. Well,
whatever it was, thank you so much.
You are the best mom ever.
Okay, okay! Your suspension
isn't over, young lady.
You still have to clean out
your grandmother's CPAP machine.
Come on! Come on.
Hey, everybody!
I did a little java run
for my fave bro-dogs.
Evan, I got you your
usual pumpkin spice latte
- with oat milk in the shape of a heart.
- Aw!
What a masculine drink.
I agree. Thank you, Kamala!
How long does it usually take for it
Oh, okay! I got I'm gonna
make a quick phone call.
Cow's milk runs right through him.
You might as well just pour
it straight into the toilet.
You have 20 minutes, give or take.
I forgot my magazine!
Uh, for the, uh,
back-end of my phone call.
What are you doing?
I put my name on the paper and
submitted it to the journal.
You did what? That's fraud.
No, it's not.
I have a stack of papers
with my research over there,
and if you take my
name off it, I will
How would Devi put it?
I will go ham on your ass!
I will file a complaint
with the administration.
I will mobilize the
Association of Women in Science.
I will write a scathing article
in Jezebel, and I will
Kamala had gotten so fired up,
that she had accidentally made a list
of four things without
knowing what the fourth was.
- So she went witchy.
- I will put a curse on you!
Oh..
Whatever.
You can have your name on the paper
but you are out of my lab today.
Who cares?
I start my new rotation next
week anyway, with Dr. Logan,
who's a woman, and not
a bitter, untalented man
who steals ideas of
those who work under him.
Wow, all right. You
know what? Just for that,
you're no longer invited to my
Settlers of Catan tournament.
Evan, let me be clear.
I would rather barf to
death than go to that.
Wow. It felt pretty invigorating
to be Devi for a moment.
That's why we hotheads do it, guys.
It's fun to freak out.
No, no!
Stop cheering. Stop cheering.
Devi returned to school the
next week an exonerated woman.
Finally, all that messiness
with Aneesa was solved,
and she could go back to obsessing
about other things, like
Well, well, well.
Heard what you pulled
off with Aneesa's mom.
Pretty excellent. I guess you're
not such a jerk after all, David.
I'm a goddamn sweetie-pie!
Mm. I wouldn't go that far.
- You definitely have an undiagnosed mood disorder.
- Uh.
And even though she made up with Aneesa
for the right reasons,
Devi still hoped it might
bring her closer to Ben.
No, I'm I'm serious.
You did good.
And now, who knows? Maybe we can date.
- You and me?
- What?
No, me and Aneesa.
Now that she's staying,
I'm gonna ask her out.
Later, loser.
Chris! It worked! I took your advice.
I said yes to my daughter,
and now she thinks I'm a hero!
I I cannot believe I'm saying
this, but you, my friend, are a genius.
I know! I'm also handsome,
so feel free to compliment
me in that area as well.
Seriously, though, thank you so much.
You made me feel so
I don't know.
Were you going in for a hug?
I was.