October Road (2007) s02e07 Episode Script

- Previously on October Road - Every girl I've been with, I knew why we were gonna break up two weeks before we started dating.
With Janet, I don't know.
You have a wicked blind spot when it comes to the men in your life.
Right now you can't see what a slimeball Big Cat can be.
Didn't you just get your very first boyfriend? - I think I should go.
- I think you should, too.
I don't wanna be your friend.
Gavin Goddard-- that is Sam's father's name.
Nick Garrett, this is Gavin Goddard.
You didn't tell him, did ya? Nick.
Eddie Nick deserves to know, Hannah, that you and-- No.
I think I drank 112 beers last night.
Seriously.
The smell of your cinnamon raisin toast makes me almost wanna puke my guts out.
You got the sports? Oh, morning.
- Oh, whose toast? - You can have it.
Thanks.
Hey, you got the sports? Here.
- Hey, you got the business? - I am serious.
It's just the greatest thing ever.
Owen, tell him about the spelling bee.
It's just the greatest thing ever.
Made even greater this year by the fact that Knights Ridge's own James Kornduffer is a dark horse favorite in the "Ten and under.
" - Who? - "Jimmy Crack" Kornduffer, as they call him on the streets.
Jimmy Crack Kornduffer, and I do care.
- Movie section? - Hey, you know what? We should have a viewing party for the semifinals on wednesday, - with margaritas.
- And guacamole! - Yes! - Yes! What do you say, Mr.
Garrett? A viewing party for a spelling bee? - It seems a little lame.
- You mean fantastic.
Last year, Jimmy Crack Kornduffer came so close.
- Phlegm.
- What about phlegm? - He forgot the "G" in "phlegm.
" - There's a "G" in "phlegm"? Are you reading the front page, Robert? Excuse me.
Tell 'em about the party.
I think a viewing party is a great idea.
This is a pretty big deal for Knights Ridge.
I'm not really interested in watching a spelling bee.
No, no, it's just, this is a bad time.
I can't.
Not now.
Of course I do.
Yes.
Okay.
I love you.
Down sleeping bag, check flashlight, check lantern, check hand sanitizer Yes, Doodie, it's antibacterial.
Come get it when you want.
Big, germ-free sleepover in the works? Nah, I'm lending Doodie my stuff for our class' father-son camping trip.
And, you're not going? Nah, I'm kinda missing the one key ingredient for a father-son camping trip.
A tent.
I have a tent if you're interested in going.
- You mean, you'd take me? - Yeah, if you want.
Come on.
It'll be fun.
And I have been told that my s'mores are the standard by which all other s'mores are measured.
- Call me later.
- I will.
- We gotta talk, Brophus.
- What is it? That phone call that Aubrey got at breakfast.
I overheard something.
Nick? How much longer you figure Owen will be bunking here? I love the kid.
I feel his pain, but he has been living here for months.
It is starting to get crowded.
- We can't just kick him out.
- I know that.
Whoever Aubrey was talking to, she was acting all secretive.
- All, "I can't talk right now.
" - Maybe you should suggest that he find himself a place.
They got those apartments in town-- - the ones above the apothecary.
- His marriage just broke up, dad.
She said, "I love you.
" She said, "I love you"? - To who? - I don't know.
But after the whole Hannah thing you're fragile.
I just don't wanna see you get hurt again.
I will talk to Owen, and I will talk to Aubrey, too, okay, Ronnie? Dad? Adelaide's owners were amazed by the resolve of their beloved pet and tearfully thanked Pandora's bach, the Boston-based heavy metal band, for bringing Adelaide home.
And in other news, tomorrow night kicks off the northeast regional spelling bee.
Knight's Ridge native James Kornduffer will be representing western Massachusetts.
- Little Jimmy Crack Kornduffer? - Cromlech.
C-R-O-M-L-E-C-H Oh, that kid lives around the block from me.
I used to babysit for his brother Allen, who, by the way, is dumber than a box of rocks.
in search of a win.
And horseshoes in the olympics? We'll meet a duxbury man You want some? that he'd like to see part of the 2012 summer olympic games.
I wasn't sure if you were bivouacking in the living room or planning on coming to bed.
No, this camping trip just got me thinking about Sam? Are you sure you're okay going on it? You know, 'cause it's a father-son thing? I'm more than okay.
I'm really looking forward to it.
Good, 'cause I think Sam is, too.
And just being here as much as I am, I'm really getting to know Sam care about him.
That's great.
Which is why, after we're married, I want to adopt Sam.
- Wow, that's - A lot.
I know.
I'm not trying to take anything away from Gavin Goddard.
Gavin lives in New York and sees Sam once or twice a year.
I'm here.
I'm a part of Sam's life in the Ridge every day.
I know, but that's gonna be the case whether you adopt him or not.
True, but the boy needs a real father.
He does.
I'm not looking for you to give me an answer tonight.
I'm just asking you to think about it.
Okay.
I will.
Thanks.
What? Who was that call from? That call? What call? Yesterday morning at breakfast.
You got a phone call.
- Oh, the phone call.
- Yeah.
That was from my computer guy.
- Your computer guy? - My computer guy.
Zed.
- Yeah.
- Zed? Why do you love Zed? What? Ronnie overheard your conversation.
You said "I love you.
" Why? Zed recovered some 200 pages of short fiction from my hard drive that I thought I'd lost.
So I told him I loved him, as in "I love you, Zed, for recovering some 200 pages of short fiction from my hard drive that I thought I'd lost.
" Right.
That's my thing.
I say "I love you" when I'm pleased with someone.
Why, just an hour ago, I told Murph that I loved him for having the havarti cheese that is on this very sandwich that we are about to share.
I got you.
Sorry.
You should be.
We've been hanging out for, what, six weeks? I'm not seeing anyone else.
And if you are, now would be a good time to tell me.
I'm not.
Good.
Havarti.
I love you, too, Murph.
Sully and his crew didn't just miss the bull's-eye last night-- they missed the entire wall, which takes a certain amount of skill in and of itself.
Yeah, that tap's been finicky for a while now.
All right, what's going on? Talk to Rooster.
Girl stuff.
You know, the kind of thing I'd go to Hannah with if we were talking, but we are not.
Well, I'm here for ya.
I have a feminine side.
I use a ridiculous amount of hair care products, and I've been known to enjoy many a Drew Barrymore film.
Okay.
It's about Eddie about our sex life or lack thereof.
Have you at least rounded any significant bases? Lots of infield singles, but that's about it.
If one of us doesn't swing for the fences soon, we're gonna end up friends.
Yeah, that would suck.
I don't know what to do.
What you need to do is have sex with him.
- It's not that easy.
- Why not? Because I'm scared.
I'm scared of getting naked in front of him.
I know it's stupid, but look at me.
I'm not exactly Kate Moss.
One hawaiian, extra cheese? - How much do I owe you? - It's $14.
25.
- So this is the Kornduffer house, right? - Yeah.
As in Jimmy Crack Kornduffer? Yep.
This is where the great man lives.
- Are you related to him? - I am.
I am his brother-- his older brother, the one who can't spell and who obviously can't count either.
Sorry.
So how come you're not at the reege-bee, cheering him on? I leave that to my parents and grandparents and aunts, uncles, teachers, the parish priest, the doctor who delivered him and the guy who installed our cable-- he went, too.
- Resentment.
- Yeah.
I can't spell it, but I feel it.
Okay.
Enjoy your pie.
Later.
Jimmy Kornduffer's road to the regional began here at his elementary school How's the new TV? Just too yummy for words.
- Phlegm.
- I'm sorry.
You came home early last night.
What goes on with you and Janet? Oh, it's all good, just taking it slow.
How slow? Standing still.
Please don't tell me it's because you still subscribe to Hugh Hefner's adolescent narrow definition of beauty.
His magazine I still subscribe to.
His definition of beauty-- not so much.
I think Janet's beautiful.
So why the vow of celibacy? Well, you know me, Phys.
When I sleep with a girl, the first thing I wanna do is bail.
I try to get out of the house and out of the relationship as soon as possible, and I really like Janet a lot and I I just don't wanna risk it.
Hey, sweetie.
You already packing up food supplies for the trip? Ray says the key to a successful camping experience are the three P's-- preparation, packing and pasta.
Pasta? I think he just threw it in there 'cause he wanted three, and it started with "P.
" You know, Sam, I wish you'd have told me all these years about the father-son camping trips.
I could've called Gavin.
He'd have taken you.
Gavin once told me the thing about camping that nobody realizes is that you don't have to do it.
Yeah, that sounds like Gavin.
I'm glad I'm going with Ray.
He's the guy everybody goes to if they can't get their tent up or start the campfire or open their can of beans.
Yeah, he is that guy.
- Eddie Latekka, huh? - Yep.
I coached him in peewee football.
Always clever in the pocket.
When I was laid up, after I broke my ankle that winter? Eddie come around.
He'd bring me magazines and doughnuts.
That sounds like him, taking care of the man who pours his drinks.
He's a good friend.
He'll be a good friend to you-- a very good friend.
Okay.
Remember how on our second date, we talked about seeing "On the waterfront"? - I guess.
- You said you'd never seen it.
I said you must.
Brando as Terry Malloy.
All-time genius.
Anyway, we've been dating for a while now.
A while.
And we still haven't seen it-- "On the waterfront.
" So I was thinking, we should hang out at my place tomorrow night, and we should most definitely watch "On the waterfront.
" Because if we don't watch "On the waterfront," we may run the risk of never watching it ever.
Okay? Okay.
"On the waterfront.
" Tomorrow night.
Got it.
Good.
So.
Ray wants to adopt Sam after you're married? That's right.
Oh, by the way, congratulations on your engagement.
Thank you.
So basically, once we're married, we just file some papers and that's it? Basically, yeah.
Once Sam's biological father officially forgoes his rights.
But there's no father listed on the birth certificate.
I see.
But assuming that you do know who the father is Yeah, I just-- I haven't had the chance to put his name on it yet.
He lives in New York.
Is that a problem? No, not at all.
But he would have to travel to Massachusetts for the paternity test.
We have to do a paternity test? Yes, yes, to legally establish that, uh, what's his name? Gavin Goddard.
To legally verify that Mr.
Goddard is Sam's biological father, that's it, and then, as long as Mr.
Goddard is willing to give up his rights, Ray can adopt Sam.
So you see, it's pretty straightforward.
Well? Well, what? Well, did you ask Aubrey about the "I love you"? I did, if it's any of your business.
Are you ready for this? It was her computer guy.
- Her computer guy? - Yeah.
He recovered some lost data, so she was happy, said, "I love you.
" - It's her thing.
- Her thing? Yeah, her thing.
Oh, I heard Jimmy Crack Kornduffer speaks fluent french.
Yeah.
How do you say "who cares" in french? Who wants little piggies snuggling in their puff pastry blankies? Oh, man, I love you! - It's me again.
- Hello.
So has your brother been up yet? He made it through the first two rounds.
"Supercilious" and "narcissism.
" Perfect words for him, methinks.
I have a question for you.
Are you rooting for him to win? I've been living in the shadow of my 9-year-old brother since he was 4 and I was 12, and he recited Cassius's speech from Shakespeare's "Julius Caesar" at the Godfrey's annual 4th of july picnic.
So, no, lady, not only am I not rooting for him to win, I'm rooting for him to wipe out colossally, in front of all of Massachusetts, our family and the ghost of William Shakespeare.
Yikes.
My folks even gave him a handle that lends itself to a marquee nickname-- "Jimmy Crack" Kornduffer while I'm just Allen.
Well, "Allen" is a nice name.
Yeah, try hanging a nickname on it.
I just don't understand why he has to be so good at everything.
James is from Knights Ridge, Massachusetts - Good guacamole.
- Wait, he's next, you guys.
James your word is "susurrate.
" Susurrate.
S-U-S - U-R-R - U-R-R - A-T-E.
Susurrate.
- Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Can you spell Jimmy Crack Kornduffer is a P-I-M-P? We're going to the finals! Yes! High five! Knights Ridge! High five! High five! Thanks, buddy.
Hey, Nicky, I made an appointment to see one of those apartments above the apothecary.
Will you come with me? Yeah, sure.
Hey, Nick? I have to go.
- What? - I do.
I'm sorry.
I'll call you later? Okay.
Our next speller will be Lynn Kreshpane.
Lynn, your word is "rendezvous.
" - Hey, Janet.
- Hi, Alison.
Alison? Can I ask you a question? So I told him we're watching "On the waterfront," which I'm pretty sure he understood was code for sex.
But what if he didn't? You can probably make it pretty clear during the movie.
Well, that's the problem.
I'm not sure I can.
Sorry about dumping this on you.
It's just that Hannah and I are in a bit of a tiff, - and I'm in a bit of a crisis.
- That's okay.
It's nice talking to someone who isn't in elementary school.
So what do I do? I always tell my kids when they're nervous about a school play or recital, to visualize how they want it to go.
Rehearse it in their head.
That's it.
That's it! I need a dress rehearsal.
- Well, not literally.
- No, it's exactly what I need.
I mean, I can run my moves over and over in my head, but what I really need to do is practice.
- I don't think that's a good idea.
- It's perfect! A dry run! I need a dry run! Now I just gotta figure out with who.
Hey, Janet, how we doing on mustard refills? Hello, Rooster.
Give me the definition again.
To issue soft noises, to speak softly or indistinctly.
Yes, our own James Kornduffer earned himself a spot in the northeast spelling finals.
No, I got him.
I got him.
Come here, pal.
Okay, this is where I put my hand on his knee.
That wasn't so bad.
So then I'll casually rest my head on his shoulder.
So far so good.
So now I'll say something witty and insightful about the movie.
It reminds me of "A streetcar named desire" only without the rape.
Yeah, that's romantic.
Fine, no insight.
We'll just go straight to making out.
What--what is this music? Don't make fun.
It's the Bay City Rollers.
It's my fantasy to be with someone I really like to this song.
Okay.
Okay.
I'm good with that.
Thank you.
And after a few minutes of kissing, I gently push him away, look deeply into his eyes and get ready to lead us to the bedroom.
I say "this still doesn't feel real, us being here like this.
I have waited so long.
" Me, too.
Rooster! What? Hey, listen, what? Jeez.
Oh--oh, God, Rooster.
- I'm sorry.
- I gotta go.
A lease on the apartment? Don't sign anything, Owen, until I check it out for the night noises first.
Look, trust me on this one, okay? All right, cool.
Bye.
Hey, Nick.
Hannah.
Hi.
- How are you? - Good.
Good.
Wow, this place-- it looks amazing.
We have accounts now.
A few accounts.
Actually, it's just one account.
We're doing the elementary school.
Wow.
You're really doing it.
Yeah.
No, I mean, like, staying here in the Ridge.
I am.
I'm sure Ronnie and your dad must be really happy to have you back.
Yeah, I suppose.
I mean, who could tell with those two? Between the burping and the farting it's a little hard to hear the "I love yous.
" I heard you got back together with your student.
Aubrey.
Yeah.
Yeah, although she's not my student anymore because I got fired.
Yeah, I heard that, too.
Just trying to keep things lively here in the Ridge.
You are succeeding, young man.
How's Big Cat? He's good.
He's great.
It's It's an adjustment.
It is an adjustment.
I ran into Sam the other day.
He said he was going on a school camping trip.
Yeah, it's an annual thing.
I remember.
The commander and I used to go on those.
- Is Eddie around? - Eddie? He I don't know where he is, actually.
But he should be back soon.
Okay.
Take it easy, Nick.
Did you want me to tell Eddie that you stopped by? No, I'll see him when I see him.
- Bye.
- Bye.
- Hey, Aubs.
- Hi.
I can call you "Aubs," yeah? - Yeah, sure.
- Well, I like it.
It's got a warm familiarity.
Maybe I'll call you Mr.
G.
Yeah.
Why not? Aubs and Mr.
G.
Mr.
G.
and Aubs, huh? We could solve mysteries in merry old England.
Whenever Scotland Yard is stumped, they call for Mr.
G.
and Aub.
- Hey, everything okay? - Yeah.
Everything's fine.
Well, I'll see ya, Mr.
G.
Okay.
And in other news, Knights Ridge's own James Kornduffer I'm nervous about tomorrow night's finals! I'm actually nervous for Jimmy Crack Kornduffer.
- Did I tell you I met his brother? - You did-- Allen.
- You said he was a jerk.
- I didn't say he was a jerk.
- I said he was bitter.
- Oh.
Sorry.
But why would he be bitter? His brother's a rock star.
He'll be facing Lynn Kreshpane You're home, finally.
Come here.
- Now what is it? - Tell the man.
Tell the man what you saw.
Ronnie.
Tell the man, dad.
He must know.
The man must know.
What must I know? I saw Aubs.
I was in town.
She was crying.
- Who's Aubs? - Aubrey.
Since when is she Aubs? It's our new warm familiarity.
This so isn't the point.
What is the point, Ronnie? She's crying in town.
She got out of a car-- a car with a man in it.
She got out of a car with a man in it.
It was a blue Thunderbird.
- Nice car.
- So what? So I'm saying, first the "I love you," then the sudden exit from the viewing party and now this? Nick, do you know who drives blue Thunderbirds? - No.
Who, Ronnie? - Secret lovers.
Secret lovers drive blue Thunderbirds.
So how often do you get in here? Get Ooh, I haven't been here since last Christmas.
We were going to have a Thanksgiving party.
That's nice.
What do you do up there? You just--what, study? - I wanna be a teacher.
- Teacher? That's very good.
You know, I-- personally, I admire brains.
My brother Charley is a very brainy guy.
He had a couple of years of college You know, this movie reminds me of "A streetcar named desire," only without the Never mind.
You know I seen you a lot of times before? Remember, parochial school on pulaski street? Seven, eight years ago, your hair-- you had your hair Braids.
It looked like a hunk of rope.
You had wires on your teeth and glasses, everything.
You was really a mess.
Shall we? I can't do this.
What's wrong? What the hell is this music? It's the Bay City Rollers.
- I've always wanted to-- - I can't.
I'm sorry.
Oh, God.
- Really? - It's their greatest hits.
Now that is what I'm talking about.
Eddie, hello! Come on.
Oh, my God.
You wouldn't believe how bad I have to pee.
Sorry.
I didn't mean to wake you.
Oh, no, that's okay.
I just can't believe you're already up and at 'em.
Well, I figured you probably want to get an early start, and I didn't want to slow you down.
I know you've been busy at work and all.
Yeah, yeah, we put the windows in the school next week, so But you know what? I don't have to go in on sunday.
The spelling bee finals are today.
We could We could watch 'em together Well, at least till you have to go in to work tonight.
I think I could manage that.
Yeah? - Better? - Much.
Just now, when you were in the bathroom Yes? I almost went through your purse.
Okay.
How come? To look for things.
Clues? Clues to what? Clues to whether or not you're - Seeing someone else? - Yes.
Nick, I thought we covered this.
We did, but the way you left the viewing party, and then there was the whole blue Thunderbird incident What? The commander saw you getting out of one driven by a man.
You were upset.
I don't owe you any explanations, Nick.
- I know you don't.
- But if I did, I'd tell you that I left the viewing party because Taylor called in a state.
She and her boyfriend had a monster fight, threw all of his stuff into the quad, and then needed me to help put it back before he came home.
Oh, and then, when I tried to broker a peace between Taylor and her blue-Thunderbird-driving boyfriend, he told me to go to hell and to take Taylor with me.
So that's what I'd say if I did owe you an explanation.
Oh, and, I'd also say that I'd appreciate it if the members of your family would stop spying on me.
I'm sorry, Aubrey on behalf of all the Garrett men, myself most of all.
We're almost good, Nick.
We just we gotta get out some kinks-- a few trust issues.
Hey, you wanna watch the reege-bee finals tonight? I'm gonna go meet Owen at Sully's.
I can't.
I am going to Boston to see the Foo Fighters.
- With who? - My lover.
He just flew in from Paris.
- Oh, really? - Yeah.
- I'm kidding.
- I know.
With Taylor.
You wanna come? No, it's it's okay.
You guys have fun.
Are we cool? We are very cool.
- I didn't order anything.
- I know, but here's the thing.
You don't need to feel bad about resenting your kid brother.
I have four sisters-- Regina, Alexandra, Teresa and Egg.
Egg is the baby.
They all have spectacular husbands and/or boyfriends.
They all have meaningful jobs.
They wear smart clothes.
They all think I'm an oddling who did nothing but break our parents' hearts during my wild years, but growing up in the enormous maw that was their shadows-- you know what that made me? Pizza delivery girl? It made me strive to be better-- to advance my lot in life, not to compete with them, but to build a better oddling.
But you're living in this tiny toy town.
For now, but I have plans, the first of which is, we're gonna root against Jimmy Crack Kornduffer.
Me and you.
Come on.
Let's fight the power.
Let the rest of the known universe root for your brother's victory, but me and you are gonna hope for another mistake.
Me and you are gonna hope for a forgotten "G" in "phlegm.
" Really? What do ya say, Acorn? - Acorn? - That's your nickname.
Allen Kornduffer.
A-korn.
See? They gave you one after all.
- Well, you did.
- Well, I did.
So what do you say I stick around? Come on.
We'll boo and hiss and throw things at the tube if he wins.
Okay.
Squish that on there.
- Oh, you got it? - Yeah.
Gotta try it.
What happened to the beard? Big Cat's got George Steinbrenner policies when it comes to facial hair on employees.
Yeah, leave it to Big Cat to embrace ownership rules of the damn Yankees.
By the end of the evening, one of these young people will be crowned the regional spelling bee champion, representing four states in the northeast.
Their teachers and parents are here to support them.
Good luck to all of them.
And now the final round.
Any misspelling results in elimination, you may ask for the definition as well as the country of origin.
Janet, I know we're not talking, but I really need you right now.
I have nothing to say to you.
Then will you just listen to me, please? What is it? Ray asked to adopt Sam once we're married.
Really? That's great.
- Isn't it? - Well, it should be-- for the both of them, for all of us.
I just don't know what to do, because if I say, "yes," then I have to tell Ray.
Tell Ray what? I have to tell Ray that Gavin Goddard isn't Sam's real father.
Owen.
Yeah, it's me.
I'm at the apartment.
Yeah, I don't know what I was thinking.
This is Knights Ridge.
There's no night noises.
There's no noises, period.
I gotta go.
See you there.
And now our next contestant is James Kornduffer.
James, if you spell this word correctly, you win the regional finals.
And the word for James Kornduffer is "portentous.
" "Portentous"--from the latin, meaning ominous, foreboding, threatening, to signify something disquieting.
"Portentous.
" P-O-R T-E-N T-O U-S.
"Portentous.
" That is correct.
We have a winner! Jimmy Crack Kornduffer! Attaboy! Yes! Jimmy! Yes! Rooster, please.
Hope you and Eddie had a nice evening.
- Yes! Yes! - Yeah! Yeah! Knights Ridge! Knights Ridge, yeah! - Jimmy Crack! - Yeah! No.
No!