Satisfaction (2007) s02e07 Episode Script
All Those Monkeys
TERENCE: Yeah, I know it's not my portfolio, but unless you want me to sound like a bloody monkey Look, I'll go to the meeting, but I'm going to be late.
- Well, that's the best I can do.
- [ knock at door .]
I got to go.
- Hey.
- Hi.
[ laughs .]
- I'm sorry.
- Sorry about what? - I'm on a very short leash.
- How short? - Half an hour.
- Oh, damn.
- I guess there's not enough time.
- Not enough time for what? TERENCE: No condoms.
- No.
- What do you mean, no? - I don't want to wear it.
- Don't be silly, love.
Look, I'm not seeing anyone else.
I'm not even seeing my wife.
- I want you to wear it.
- Why? Have you got something I should know about? No.
Well, neither have I.
And I've had a vasectomy.
And I really don't like condoms.
You've worn one before.
Yeah, but surely we're past that stage of the relationship.
It's not going to happen without it, Terry.
- Why not? - Because Because that's my rule.
- Is this our first tiff? - Only if you press the point.
Come on.
- Bill! - Hey.
- Hi.
Hello.
- Hello.
[ both laugh .]
So, uh, you like gardenias? Oh.
No, not particularly.
I was just trying brighten up my garden and my boyf [ sighs .]
I'm not very good when it comes to planting.
Well, I could help you if you like.
OK.
Sure.
Um, not now.
I am just running a little bit late.
I've got to get to work.
Oh, well, maybe some other time, then? - OK.
- Great.
Well, uh, it's nice to see you.
Yeah, you too.
- 'Bye.
- See you.
[ sighs .]
I don't believe it.
They forgot the naan bread.
Every bloody time! - Well, did you order it? - You heard me order it.
Yeah, but did the guy on the phone hear you? Yeah.
He said [ indian accent .]
"Absolutely sir.
"Two plain naan.
" Is it here? No.
Yeah, OK.
Just chill out, alright? It's peaceful here, finally! What's that? Oh! Gillian's gone! Yeah! - I don't want to talk about it, Mel.
- Oh, yes, you do.
You can't wait to talk about it! You can't wait to tell me about how she's misunderstood, how she's really a caring, sharing, little mother bear, and we're her lucky, lucky cubs, can you? - Can you shut up? - No, not usually.
Certainly not for free.
I'm serious, OK? I'm OK with Mum, you're not.
Find a new subject, Mel.
OK.
Um I know.
What are you going to do for a living now? What? Well, now that you've given up the 'work'.
Yeah.
I'm not quitting.
Oh, really? Oh.
Gillian will love that.
Where is she, anyway? She's exactly where you want her to be.
She's staying in a hotel.
Oh.
Hmm.
You right there? - I was just admiring the fit-out.
- Really? Right.
Well, this is private property.
If you want to book and inspection, you have to make an appointment.
I see.
And how much would that cost? Well, we could probably do that for free.
And what if I want to hire a room? What would that be? Well, that depends on what you want if for, and for how long.
And who you're sharing it with.
- This for yourself, or is - Let's call it research.
Do you take bookings for yourself? No.
Purely managerial.
Now, if you'd like to come this way.
- What did you say your name is? - Natalie.
I'm Gillian.
Nice to meet you.
- Ooh, they're having a nice time.
- Gillian, come this way, please.
- [ phone rings .]
- Excuse me.
I need to take this.
I've still got a drink waiting in the bar.
[ sighs .]
Fine.
Then finish it up and take yourself home, sweetheart.
Hello.
Natalie.
Yes, who's this calling? - I love watching you guys.
- Mmm, I can't talk.
[ sighs .]
- I could go again.
- What? - [ sighs .]
- Yeah.
Give me 15.
[ laughs .]
He's kidding, right? - No.
He's not.
- [ laughs .]
Ooh.
Oh, I'm sorry, guys, but I can only give you another half an hour.
- [ sighs .]
- [ sighs .]
Well, better get down to it, then.
[ sighs exasperatedly .]
So, as you know, the basic thrust of our study is to examine the impact of a third person on a relationship, in terms of a sexual partner.
Yep.
That seems reasonable.
You're doing just fine.
Thanks.
So, um, how engaged do you feel we are with you? Both.
Totally.
So, one of us isn't any more engaged than the other? No.
Is it, um Is it strange for you to have sex with another woman? No.
It's just that what was interesting was that you seemed to know exactly what Eloise wants.
It's just all part of my job.
What - men and women, equally? Yeah.
Chickens, watermelons, elastic-sided boots.
[ laughs .]
[ laughs .]
You're taking the piss? Yeah.
That was well.
[ laughs .]
Oh, hang on.
Tonight - I haven't got anything booked tonight.
WOMAN: [ on phone .]
Uh, Jemima Harris? - Isn't that tomorrow night? - No.
Right.
What is the matter with you? You pulled this act last time.
No, I didn't.
Yes, you did, last time Jemima called here.
You got some kind of problem with her? No.
- I just don't like her, alright? - Well, you don't have to like her.
You just have to satisfy her in bed.
- She a bit Spanish? - What? Well, I don't know.
Does she like it rough? Does she want it strange? I'm just wondering what it is that you can't handle.
Look, no, I just don't like her.
OK? I don't want to do it.
Sorry, tell her I'm sick or something.
- OK.
I'll cancel her.
Goodbye, Sean.
- Hang on, Nat.
Mmm? What have I got booked for the rest of the week? Well, when you're not sick, drop in and I'll let you know.
Alright.
I'll be in around 7:30 or something, OK? [ hangs up .]
Mmm.
- MAN: So, do you work here? - Oh, no.
But that is a spectacular compliment.
Well, I would have believed you if you said yes.
I think they prefer their girls a little 'fresher'.
Oh, 'fresher'.
I think you're plenty fresh.
MAN: My name's Eric.
There's a call for you in the office.
Erm, thanks.
Excuse me.
[ laughs .]
- 2-2-6-5-4.
Call me anytime.
- 6-5-4.
I will.
Hey! Listen Uh, sorry, can you excuse us for a moment? - Sure.
- Come with me.
You cannot be here.
You have to leave.
- Why? I'm just chatting.
- No, forget it.
Unless you're on staff, this is not a place for you.
Come on.
You are actually throwing me out? - I don't think that's appropriate.
- No, you're probably right.
After all, you've got my family working for you.
- I beg your pardon? - You've got my daughter and my son.
Who Who are you? So, why didn't you just put her in a cab or something? Oh, I tried that.
She wanted a personal hire car.
She asked if we had one.
She didn't actually do anything with any of the men, did she? Oh, I'm sure she would have if we had a spare room.
I just found her loitering.
Well, then, what's your problem? I'm running a business, for Christ's sake.
She look like someone's mum.
Ah, you see, that's just a clever disguise.
She's actually Satan.
- She seems alright to me.
- Well, good.
- You can have her.
- Ha! No, seriously.
I'll give you 10 grand if you get her out of my life.
- How long? - Uh, a month? Plus meals and expenses.
[ laughs .]
No.
I'm not paying you to Forget it.
I want her out of the city.
You've got a delightful family, Mel.
Seriously.
[ horn blares .]
Oh, God.
You're so tense.
Let me help you relax.
No, no, no.
Let me do the work.
Ah! I was trying to get you to relax.
I have something for you.
[ half-laughs .]
We're in handcuff mode today, are we? [ laughs .]
No, no.
Terry, that's not how you do it.
I'll cuff you.
And I can tease you mercilessly.
Just go with me on this.
OK? If you tickle me, I'll kill you.
[ laughs nervously .]
Terry, what are you doing? - Who's paying you? - What are you talking about? How stupid do you think I am? Sheedy's never been great at keeping secrets.
I know you're a prostitute.
So let's not make this any more difficult than it already is.
You tell me who's paying, and I'll let you go.
You can't do this.
You cannot hold me against my will.
It's someone from my own party, isn't it? No-one is paying me.
Uncuff me, and we talk about this like rational human beings.
Terence, uncuff me! - Uncuff me now! - Shh.
No.
I'm gonna scream this place down.
Help! Help! Hey, hey.
Shh, shh, shh.
- Just let me go.
- Come on, tell me the story.
Just give me a name.
You're not talking to me? Of course I am.
What do you think of this? It's OK.
Bit skimpy for my taste.
Mmm.
I think I might give it away.
I've worn it enough.
You know what, sometimes striving to be unpredictable is predictable in itself.
- Is that right? - Yes, it is.
Mmm.
You'd know.
Tell me, how was your five-star hotel last night, anyway? Oh.
Lovely.
Very indulgent.
Ha! So why aren't you still there? Couldn't afford it.
Oh.
You should have used my name.
You would have gotten a discount.
And that's something to be proud of, is it, Melanie? Well, it's a few hundred bucks.
[ scoffs .]
Why'd you do it? - What? - 232 - your little stunt.
Why'd you do it? That place is an important part of my children's lives.
I thought I should check it out for myself.
Well, good for you.
God knows, I'm not an important part of your life.
Nice try, Gillian.
I'm not going to fight with you.
I don't want to fight with you.
Good.
'Cause it's not going to happen.
I'm all for peace from now on.
No more anger, no more hassles.
I'm not Tibet, you're not China.
I would have thought it was the other way round.
Look, I'm going to run a few errands.
Do you want to come with me? There is no need to monitor me.
I'm not a mental patient.
Stop treating me like one.
Fine.
What are you going to do? You just going to hang around my apartment all day? You got a problem with that? What are you trying to hide? I think I'll go to the movies.
Good.
Fine.
Enjoy.
I'll see you a bit later, then.
Start talking.
- I work in the industry, that's true.
- You're a prostitute.
Yes.
But nobody hired me.
- [ inhales sharply .]
- No, listen.
When we first met at that conference, I mean you can't deny there wasn't a mutual attraction.
I wanted to be with you.
I knew that if I told you what I did for a living, you wouldn't have a bar of me.
Yeah, well, you're right about that.
See? So, I couldn't tell you.
So you just did this all off your own bat? You sought me out, invited me for a drink? That's right.
- I'd really like to believe that.
- It's the truth.
Why me? You know, there's plenty of guys out there just waiting for someone like you to to come along and screw up their life.
Your life isn't screwed up, Terence.
I've been very discreet.
What about you? Has it occurred to you that my idea of discreet might be different to yours? I'll go.
That's a very good idea.
[ phone rings .]
Hello.
MAN: Hi, Gillian.
It's Eric.
- Who's this? - Eric.
- Eric? - Remember, we met at 232? Oh, Eric! Hello.
How nice of you to call.
[ laughs .]
Listen, I think you got the wrong impression before.
No, no.
I understand.
If you can't hack the job, then it's better you tell me now, before it all gets out of hand.
No, look, I can hack it, alright? I'm down with it.
In fact, I want to talk about getting more work.
Ha.
No way.
You're knocking back clients you already have.
One client.
Jemima Harris is one client.
I had to explain everything to her.
She was not very happy.
Nat! Don't you ever Isn't there certain people that you just don't want to touch? It's not about me.
What does she make you do? Well, it's not one thing in particular.
I bet it is.
You just want to know all the juicy details.
- No, I don't.
- Yes, you do.
You want to know every little bit.
Sean, I am happy for you to keep your hang-ups to yourself.
Hey, I'm happy to admit that I've got hang-ups.
Jemima.
Yeah.
Nice try.
- JEMIMA: Hi.
- I thought you cancelled.
Well, I couldn't.
She's on heat for you.
Sean.
Oh, thank God! Here? Looks like at room two.
- What an absolute treat.
- [ giggles .]
Enjoy.
What are you going to do? Whatever you want.
What would you like me to do? I don't know.
OK.
I am gonna kiss you all over, OK? SEAN: I've slept with a lot of women.
Thin women.
Fat women.
Crazy women.
Sometimes just plain unattractive women.
Although, mostly you can find an angle somehow.
No.
Come on.
But then occasionally you get one like Jemima Harris, and there's one word to describe it.
And that word is 'awkward'.
She's like a world-champion boxer parrying my every move.
If you just If you just lie back - Here.
- No, come this way.
- Which way? - Here.
Keep your legs straight.
No, sit up! Oh! I want you to root me! SEAN: Gee, Jemima.
If only it were geometrically possible.
You love it, don't you? Put me back! What are you doing? SEAN: Trying to make you rootable.
I'm expanding your horizons, Jemima.
- Sean! - [ grunts .]
Arrggh! Shit! Yeah, you like that, huh? Oh, yeah! Arrggh! SEAN: Thank you very much, Jemima.
I think you just helped me discover my brand-new G-spot.
- It's nice of you to drop by, Eric.
- It's nice of you to invite me.
Great place you've got here.
- Cheers.
- Cheers.
So, you're a doctor? Is that right? Yes, I am.
But let's not talk about me.
No, no.
Let's.
I want to know all about you.
It's marvellous to be in medicine.
Bet you're a specialist.
I'm right, aren't I? You're a medical specialist, and I bet you specialise in - Let me see - Colorectal.
What? Colon.
Rectum.
Gastrointestinal.
- [ both laugh .]
- I see.
That's a gorgeous watch you're wearing.
- Oh.
You like it? - Yes, very much.
Very stylish.
Thank you.
I always say you can tell a lot about a man by the watch he's wearing.
Oh? - Cheers.
- Cheers.
[ Gillian moans .]
[ Gillian and Eric laugh .]
GILLIAN: Oh, yeah Oh, God - 'Bye.
- 'Bye.
Do you have anything for the laundry service? I've got a pick-up in the morning.
No, I'm fine, thanks.
I'll be heading home tomorrow.
Whenever you're ready, Mother.
What about the sheets? I'm sorry if I upset you, Melanie.
Oh, you didn't upset me.
I don't care.
I don't care.
I didn't take any money from him.
Oh.
Well, that's the main thing.
Should I have? Would that have made it better? How much would you have charged him? - That's none of your business.
- Like hell it's not.
What? You're my daughter and what you do is my business, whether you like it or not.
Parenting does not stop at some magical age.
[ scoffs .]
Parenting.
I'm here to tell you, it doesn't change, whether you're 4, 14 or That's what you call parenting? You were rutting with some random in my home.
Exactly what you do on a daily basis.
- No, no, that's completely different.
- How? How is it different? It just is.
I don't have to explain to you.
You're doing this just to get at me, aren't you? - You are.
Yep.
- Not true.
I didn't think you'd be fussed.
You spend five years telling me how normal you are, how reasonable and rational your entire lifestyle is.
There you go, Mother.
You got your revenge.
"Don't judge me, Mum.
Don't talk about my work.
" Look who's talking the moral high ground now? Listen, Gilly, I'm not having this discussion with you, OK? - Not right now.
- Come on.
Admit it.
Deep down you do not like what you do for a living.
I love what I do.
I love it.
And it eats you up.
Who knows? Maybe that's a reason to love it even more.
I love you, Melly.
You know that.
You're my daughter and I love you.
And you're a psychopath.
And I have mixed feelings about you.
So get over it and move on.
Uniformly moist.
That's what she needs.
I usually over-water.
Well, she'll hate that.
I'll just, uh, put some of this food in.
It's very sweet of you.
Thank you.
No problem.
Just hope she flowers for you.
Yeah.
Can I get you a cold drink or? Uh, yeah no.
I actually should get moving.
OK.
But, um we could do lunch sometime.
- Lunch? - Yeah.
I mean, not necessarily in the middle of the day, um I quite like lunch at night.
[ both laugh .]
So, um We could just have a meal.
At night.
Yeah.
Or whenever you have time.
OK.
Why not? Great.
Come on.
I'm just glad it's over.
I don't have to do it anymore.
You loved it.
I think I was starting to.
Yeah, of course you did.
Because it was wicked and wrong.
I wasn't being wrong.
He was the one having the affair.
Predictable womanising bastard.
[ sighs .]
You know, part of me really wanted to hurt him.
Wanted to tell him it was the wife that put me up to it.
Nothing to do with protecting the wife.
Well, I guess, in spite of yourself, you really did like him.
All this time seething over my husband's stupid affair, yet here I was playing the mistress.
Is that it, then? Mmm.
Looks that way.
And now I have to tell Fiona he know who I am.
Well, she is paying the bills.
Mmm.
- Gorgeous day.
- [ chuckles nervously .]
I love this time of year.
Yes.
- Fiona - Lauren - [ both chuckle .]
- You go.
No, you go.
Lauren Something's happened.
[ laughs .]
Something quite incredible.
We had sex.
Last night.
- Wow.
- Yeah.
I don't know how to explain it.
Terry came home and he had this look and I I just We did it.
Then and there.
[ laughs .]
It was like when we first met.
That good? Yeah, I don't know.
I guess it was.
I don't dislike sex.
I just I don't think I'm much good at it.
I think I actually was gonna ask you for some advice.
You know, maybe get better at it.
[ chuckles .]
You know, you seeing Terry and and because of this I I think my marriage has been reinvigorated.
That's wonderful.
So, um thank you, Lauren.
And, uh I guess it's over.
- I don't need you anymore.
- You don't? - No.
- Are you sure? Believe me, if things change, you'll be the first to know.
So, what did you want to say? Oh.
Nothing.
I just wanted to see if you were OK with everything, and you are, so Yeah.
I am.
Heather.
This came for you.
International.
Thanks.
WOMAN: Hey, H.
I'm getting married.
I know Canada's a long way away and I will understand completely if you can't be there.
But we did adore each other once upon a time.
Remember? Love still, Ally.
Hey.
Hello.
Are you OK? Yep.
Red.
I feel like wearing red.
Hello, mischief.
Where's Elouise? I don't know.
So she's cool with you being here on your own? Sure.
It's all part of the effect you're having on us.
Right.
Well, so long as there's not a rift.
No.
Don't worry about that.
Good.
Because I don't like rifts.
Let me do this.
Do you always ask your clients about their wives? No.
Most of their wives I haven't had sex with.
Would you like to? Is that a research question? Yeah.
Of course.
No, it's not.
Why don't you go and have a shower? Why don't you come down there and shag me senseless? I just love your skin.
It's so soft.
[ groans .]
Wait Close your legs.
Like this? Yes.
That way I can massage that spot just a little more effectively.
[ sobs .]
[ dials phone .]
TERENCE: Hello? Hello, it's me.
Hello, me.
[ sighs .]
I'm sorry.
I just I just needed to know if you were OK.
I need to see you.
Are you sure? Are you? Yes.
Tonight? I can't.
Sorry.
It'll have to be tomorrow.
OK.
How about you call me, then? You can't let her get to you like that, Mel.
Zip it, Sean.
You don't know what you're talking about.
She said I'm not Chinese.
Huh? I dunno.
She said I'm not Chinese, or China, or something like that.
- She just kept saying it.
- Mental case.
Hey, I want you to cancel your clients for a day.
What for? I just want to, you know, take Mum out for a day.
- Where? - I don't know exactly.
Are you totally perverse? Why would I want to spend more time with me woman? Crikey.
Because because we need to do it, Mel.
We need to just take her out and spend some time with her.
I spend more then enough time with her, thank you very much.
Listen, in 25 years, right, or more, we've never done anything like a normal family.
Never.
Just once, I would like to spend some quality time together - Have you got Dad coming? - No.
It's just you, me and Mum.
- But that's a start.
- Oh.
I know.
Let's take her to the nuthouse.
It's useful.
It's a constructive use of time.
We're gonna go to the zoo, alright? - The zoo? - Yeah, I want to go to the zoo.
Other kids got to go to the zoo.
I never did.
Oh, Sean.
You know, you don't need Mum to go to the zoo.
You're a grown-up.
You can do it yourself.
I know.
That's the point, alright? It's a family outing.
So get on the phone and call your clients and make some room for some family time, alright? We can do it.
What's happening? I don't know.
I must be working for the other side, otherwise I would never have made the call.
Well, I'm having an affair with a prostitute.
Give me a break.
I'm rooting a politician.
Fair point.
Who's more certifiable? People who don't have affairs.
I think I'm getting involved.
I think you're getting excited.
[ sighs .]
How many people do you have sex with in a week? How many people do you lie to? Oh, that's cheap.
- I'm a hooker.
- Yeah.
We're gonna have to talk about that sooner or later.
And to answer your question - one.
The number of people I lie to.
- [ Chloe sighs .]
- WILL: Mmm.
That was unbelievable.
CHLOE: It was not.
It was really quite ordinary.
WILL: Oh, are you kidding? I love it.
CHLOE: I feel it was overcooked.
WILL: Oh, harsh judge.
And you're wrong.
Mine was perfect.
Well, I'm glad you enjoyed it.
- Even if it was takeaway.
- Mmm.
- Um, do you want me some more wine? - Yeah.
I'll get it.
So Is this lunch or dinner? What meal exactly are we having here? I like supper.
- I think supper's a terrific word.
- Mmm.
Supper's good.
As is brunch.
- Mmm.
Buffet? - Feast? - Chloe? - Mmm.
Why don't you and me go to bed? - Mmm, you smell fantastic.
- Yeah, I I I can't, Will.
I can't, not now.
Why not? - Because I'm not at work.
- Me neither.
No seriously Listen, you have to stop.
Just relax a bit.
Are you kidding? No, I'm not.
Plus, I've got a partner.
So? Look, we can go to my place if you want.
What? Are you telling me that I have to make and appointment if I want to Yeah.
Absolutely.
Get out.
Chloe.
That is the weirdest thing I've heard in a long time.
I'm sorry that you feel that way.
Well, do you want me to give you some cash? No, I don't.
No.
You're really starting to ruin the whole night.
No, but seriously.
Seriously, you're really starting to ruin everything.
Don't Please don't do this.
Well, what's the difference, then? Explain it to me.
Will - Maybe I should just walk you out.
- Yeah, maybe.
[ television plays .]
[ fills up water glass .]
[ Gillian stirs .]
Where's Joan Crawford? - Mum is out walking.
- Oh.
- Hey, look at this.
"Snore and Roar.
" - Snore and what? Yeah, you can wine, dine and sleep in the elephants' enclosure.
What happens if one of the elephants is a sleepwalker? No, the elephants are in another part of the zoo, Mel.
I'd sleep at the zoo if I could be in amongst the tigers or something.
Yeah, of course you would.
Not everyone's that mad.
Oh, pussies.
She told me what happened.
And you're still OK with it? Well, I think her methodology sucks but you can't doubt her commitment.
To what? To making you engage with her, Mel.
Oh, I'll engage with her one day.
Engage with her throat.
She's trying to get through to you, Mel.
Trust me, Sean, she got through to me, alright.
Truth is, I think she wants to be you, but she wouldn't admit that.
Oh, that's crap.
No, I'm serious, Mel.
She wants to be fearless and she tries it on and it never fits.
Rubbish.
She just doesn't know how to engage with men.
Other than as sexual objects.
That is rich coming from you.
Well, I'm a chip off the old block, aren't I? At least I know how to turn the tap on and off.
She's petrified of getting old, Mel.
Tell me about it.
- Hey? - Mmm.
What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants wearing sunglasses? Go on.
What? No.
Come to the zoo with us, alright? You don't want this to turn into full-scale warfare.
Nothing.
He didn't recognise them.
[ makes drumming noise, giggles .]
OK, I'll come.
Thank you.
It's gonna be a blast.
Just remember, I'm doing this for you, Seana, not her.
Alright.
It's my fault.
I shouldn't have had him there in the first place.
It's not your fault, Chloe.
The guy came over for a meal.
Yeah, I know.
But I'm just never sure of what the rule is with that.
What rule? The rule about dinner or lunch or whatever and sex.
Well you share a meal, you have to put out.
That's the rule.
I didn't mean it like that.
I mean I don't know what I mean.
I just I probably shouldn't have dinner with clients.
- [ both laugh .]
- Yeah, that's a good rule of thumb.
Well, I'll try and remember that in future.
[ groans .]
- I've been having orgasms.
- Yes? Just saying.
Hey.
Hi.
I'm going mad.
Comepletely, stark-raving 'Alice in Wonderland'.
- Is this about Terence? - Yeah.
He's sleeping with his wife on the side.
The wife pays me to have sex with him, which makes them start having sex, so she wants me to stop, but I just can't.
- Rock on, Lauren.
- [ sighs .]
- Does that make sense? - Not really.
But it's obvious it's doing something for you.
- I had an orgasm.
- Mmm? What's her name? Jack.
A male.
I know.
No male has ever given me an orgasm like that.
You've got boy germs.
Yep.
Big time.
Hey.
[ laughs .]
- Maybe not.
- No, keep it.
So, what time's the safari leaving? Around sunset.
Mum's running a bit late.
Mm-hm.
You know what? - I really wanna see the red pandas.
- Yeah, red pandas are the bomb.
Oh, here we go.
Hey.
Hi, baby.
Mwah! You all ready? Mel's up for it.
- Really? - Yep.
That's nice.
I was thinking Maybe you two would like to go.
- Yeah, we are going, Mum.
- Yeah.
Yeah.
I mean you don't need me.
We do.
It's a family outing, Mum.
- Got a better offer, Gillian? - Eric invited me to the football.
He's a member.
- Eric? Who? - He's lovely.
I told him I just needed to change.
Melly, I was wondering - You wanna borrow a frock.
- Yeah.
Just something simple.
- Sure.
- No, no.
Stop for a second, alright? What about the zoo? I booked tickets.
Oh, sweeheart.
Honestly, you'll have a better time without me.
- The whole point was you, Mum.
- [ laughs .]
All those monkeys? I don't think so.
I can't say I'm a fan.
What about my hair? Help yourself.
What, you didn't see that coming? Should you be drinking so much? You're my mistress.
Mistresses don't complain.
Haven't you got a speech to write? I've delegated it to someone else.
Is that wise? I don't know.
I don't even know if I want this leadership thing anymore.
Why not? Maybe I've got better things to do.
Oh, this is insane.
Just to be here, I am completely insane.
Do you want me to leave? Let's go lie down.
Honestly, Terence, I can't believe [ groans in pain .]
Terry? What's the matter? Are you What are you doing? Chest pain.
[ gasps, yells .]
Terry? Terry! Oh, my God.
Terry? Terry! Terry? Terry.
[ gasps tearfully .]
Kimberly's the brunette, the one who works for the oil company.
She likes me to start with a massage.
She likes to keep her pants on, though.
Like, her suit pants.
She likes me to give her a massage with oil.
Usually something with almond.
She only lets me massage her back.
Never her front or the rest of her body.
Mostly, she likes to keep her bra on.
WOMAN: [ on phone .]
She keeps her bra on? SEAN: Yeah.
She likes to keep her bra on.
Later, when she's taking off her suit pants, she likes to lie on her stomach and get me to touch her through her knickers.
Touch her with your fingers? Mm-hmm.
Touch her clit.
With my fingers.
Through the outside of her knickers.
[ beast roars .]
He's suffered a cardiac arrest.
We'll have to get him straight into emergency.
You're next of kin? No.
No, I'm not.
Um But I do have her number.
Captioned by Grantman Brown
- Well, that's the best I can do.
- [ knock at door .]
I got to go.
- Hey.
- Hi.
[ laughs .]
- I'm sorry.
- Sorry about what? - I'm on a very short leash.
- How short? - Half an hour.
- Oh, damn.
- I guess there's not enough time.
- Not enough time for what? TERENCE: No condoms.
- No.
- What do you mean, no? - I don't want to wear it.
- Don't be silly, love.
Look, I'm not seeing anyone else.
I'm not even seeing my wife.
- I want you to wear it.
- Why? Have you got something I should know about? No.
Well, neither have I.
And I've had a vasectomy.
And I really don't like condoms.
You've worn one before.
Yeah, but surely we're past that stage of the relationship.
It's not going to happen without it, Terry.
- Why not? - Because Because that's my rule.
- Is this our first tiff? - Only if you press the point.
Come on.
- Bill! - Hey.
- Hi.
Hello.
- Hello.
[ both laugh .]
So, uh, you like gardenias? Oh.
No, not particularly.
I was just trying brighten up my garden and my boyf [ sighs .]
I'm not very good when it comes to planting.
Well, I could help you if you like.
OK.
Sure.
Um, not now.
I am just running a little bit late.
I've got to get to work.
Oh, well, maybe some other time, then? - OK.
- Great.
Well, uh, it's nice to see you.
Yeah, you too.
- 'Bye.
- See you.
[ sighs .]
I don't believe it.
They forgot the naan bread.
Every bloody time! - Well, did you order it? - You heard me order it.
Yeah, but did the guy on the phone hear you? Yeah.
He said [ indian accent .]
"Absolutely sir.
"Two plain naan.
" Is it here? No.
Yeah, OK.
Just chill out, alright? It's peaceful here, finally! What's that? Oh! Gillian's gone! Yeah! - I don't want to talk about it, Mel.
- Oh, yes, you do.
You can't wait to talk about it! You can't wait to tell me about how she's misunderstood, how she's really a caring, sharing, little mother bear, and we're her lucky, lucky cubs, can you? - Can you shut up? - No, not usually.
Certainly not for free.
I'm serious, OK? I'm OK with Mum, you're not.
Find a new subject, Mel.
OK.
Um I know.
What are you going to do for a living now? What? Well, now that you've given up the 'work'.
Yeah.
I'm not quitting.
Oh, really? Oh.
Gillian will love that.
Where is she, anyway? She's exactly where you want her to be.
She's staying in a hotel.
Oh.
Hmm.
You right there? - I was just admiring the fit-out.
- Really? Right.
Well, this is private property.
If you want to book and inspection, you have to make an appointment.
I see.
And how much would that cost? Well, we could probably do that for free.
And what if I want to hire a room? What would that be? Well, that depends on what you want if for, and for how long.
And who you're sharing it with.
- This for yourself, or is - Let's call it research.
Do you take bookings for yourself? No.
Purely managerial.
Now, if you'd like to come this way.
- What did you say your name is? - Natalie.
I'm Gillian.
Nice to meet you.
- Ooh, they're having a nice time.
- Gillian, come this way, please.
- [ phone rings .]
- Excuse me.
I need to take this.
I've still got a drink waiting in the bar.
[ sighs .]
Fine.
Then finish it up and take yourself home, sweetheart.
Hello.
Natalie.
Yes, who's this calling? - I love watching you guys.
- Mmm, I can't talk.
[ sighs .]
- I could go again.
- What? - [ sighs .]
- Yeah.
Give me 15.
[ laughs .]
He's kidding, right? - No.
He's not.
- [ laughs .]
Ooh.
Oh, I'm sorry, guys, but I can only give you another half an hour.
- [ sighs .]
- [ sighs .]
Well, better get down to it, then.
[ sighs exasperatedly .]
So, as you know, the basic thrust of our study is to examine the impact of a third person on a relationship, in terms of a sexual partner.
Yep.
That seems reasonable.
You're doing just fine.
Thanks.
So, um, how engaged do you feel we are with you? Both.
Totally.
So, one of us isn't any more engaged than the other? No.
Is it, um Is it strange for you to have sex with another woman? No.
It's just that what was interesting was that you seemed to know exactly what Eloise wants.
It's just all part of my job.
What - men and women, equally? Yeah.
Chickens, watermelons, elastic-sided boots.
[ laughs .]
[ laughs .]
You're taking the piss? Yeah.
That was well.
[ laughs .]
Oh, hang on.
Tonight - I haven't got anything booked tonight.
WOMAN: [ on phone .]
Uh, Jemima Harris? - Isn't that tomorrow night? - No.
Right.
What is the matter with you? You pulled this act last time.
No, I didn't.
Yes, you did, last time Jemima called here.
You got some kind of problem with her? No.
- I just don't like her, alright? - Well, you don't have to like her.
You just have to satisfy her in bed.
- She a bit Spanish? - What? Well, I don't know.
Does she like it rough? Does she want it strange? I'm just wondering what it is that you can't handle.
Look, no, I just don't like her.
OK? I don't want to do it.
Sorry, tell her I'm sick or something.
- OK.
I'll cancel her.
Goodbye, Sean.
- Hang on, Nat.
Mmm? What have I got booked for the rest of the week? Well, when you're not sick, drop in and I'll let you know.
Alright.
I'll be in around 7:30 or something, OK? [ hangs up .]
Mmm.
- MAN: So, do you work here? - Oh, no.
But that is a spectacular compliment.
Well, I would have believed you if you said yes.
I think they prefer their girls a little 'fresher'.
Oh, 'fresher'.
I think you're plenty fresh.
MAN: My name's Eric.
There's a call for you in the office.
Erm, thanks.
Excuse me.
[ laughs .]
- 2-2-6-5-4.
Call me anytime.
- 6-5-4.
I will.
Hey! Listen Uh, sorry, can you excuse us for a moment? - Sure.
- Come with me.
You cannot be here.
You have to leave.
- Why? I'm just chatting.
- No, forget it.
Unless you're on staff, this is not a place for you.
Come on.
You are actually throwing me out? - I don't think that's appropriate.
- No, you're probably right.
After all, you've got my family working for you.
- I beg your pardon? - You've got my daughter and my son.
Who Who are you? So, why didn't you just put her in a cab or something? Oh, I tried that.
She wanted a personal hire car.
She asked if we had one.
She didn't actually do anything with any of the men, did she? Oh, I'm sure she would have if we had a spare room.
I just found her loitering.
Well, then, what's your problem? I'm running a business, for Christ's sake.
She look like someone's mum.
Ah, you see, that's just a clever disguise.
She's actually Satan.
- She seems alright to me.
- Well, good.
- You can have her.
- Ha! No, seriously.
I'll give you 10 grand if you get her out of my life.
- How long? - Uh, a month? Plus meals and expenses.
[ laughs .]
No.
I'm not paying you to Forget it.
I want her out of the city.
You've got a delightful family, Mel.
Seriously.
[ horn blares .]
Oh, God.
You're so tense.
Let me help you relax.
No, no, no.
Let me do the work.
Ah! I was trying to get you to relax.
I have something for you.
[ half-laughs .]
We're in handcuff mode today, are we? [ laughs .]
No, no.
Terry, that's not how you do it.
I'll cuff you.
And I can tease you mercilessly.
Just go with me on this.
OK? If you tickle me, I'll kill you.
[ laughs nervously .]
Terry, what are you doing? - Who's paying you? - What are you talking about? How stupid do you think I am? Sheedy's never been great at keeping secrets.
I know you're a prostitute.
So let's not make this any more difficult than it already is.
You tell me who's paying, and I'll let you go.
You can't do this.
You cannot hold me against my will.
It's someone from my own party, isn't it? No-one is paying me.
Uncuff me, and we talk about this like rational human beings.
Terence, uncuff me! - Uncuff me now! - Shh.
No.
I'm gonna scream this place down.
Help! Help! Hey, hey.
Shh, shh, shh.
- Just let me go.
- Come on, tell me the story.
Just give me a name.
You're not talking to me? Of course I am.
What do you think of this? It's OK.
Bit skimpy for my taste.
Mmm.
I think I might give it away.
I've worn it enough.
You know what, sometimes striving to be unpredictable is predictable in itself.
- Is that right? - Yes, it is.
Mmm.
You'd know.
Tell me, how was your five-star hotel last night, anyway? Oh.
Lovely.
Very indulgent.
Ha! So why aren't you still there? Couldn't afford it.
Oh.
You should have used my name.
You would have gotten a discount.
And that's something to be proud of, is it, Melanie? Well, it's a few hundred bucks.
[ scoffs .]
Why'd you do it? - What? - 232 - your little stunt.
Why'd you do it? That place is an important part of my children's lives.
I thought I should check it out for myself.
Well, good for you.
God knows, I'm not an important part of your life.
Nice try, Gillian.
I'm not going to fight with you.
I don't want to fight with you.
Good.
'Cause it's not going to happen.
I'm all for peace from now on.
No more anger, no more hassles.
I'm not Tibet, you're not China.
I would have thought it was the other way round.
Look, I'm going to run a few errands.
Do you want to come with me? There is no need to monitor me.
I'm not a mental patient.
Stop treating me like one.
Fine.
What are you going to do? You just going to hang around my apartment all day? You got a problem with that? What are you trying to hide? I think I'll go to the movies.
Good.
Fine.
Enjoy.
I'll see you a bit later, then.
Start talking.
- I work in the industry, that's true.
- You're a prostitute.
Yes.
But nobody hired me.
- [ inhales sharply .]
- No, listen.
When we first met at that conference, I mean you can't deny there wasn't a mutual attraction.
I wanted to be with you.
I knew that if I told you what I did for a living, you wouldn't have a bar of me.
Yeah, well, you're right about that.
See? So, I couldn't tell you.
So you just did this all off your own bat? You sought me out, invited me for a drink? That's right.
- I'd really like to believe that.
- It's the truth.
Why me? You know, there's plenty of guys out there just waiting for someone like you to to come along and screw up their life.
Your life isn't screwed up, Terence.
I've been very discreet.
What about you? Has it occurred to you that my idea of discreet might be different to yours? I'll go.
That's a very good idea.
[ phone rings .]
Hello.
MAN: Hi, Gillian.
It's Eric.
- Who's this? - Eric.
- Eric? - Remember, we met at 232? Oh, Eric! Hello.
How nice of you to call.
[ laughs .]
Listen, I think you got the wrong impression before.
No, no.
I understand.
If you can't hack the job, then it's better you tell me now, before it all gets out of hand.
No, look, I can hack it, alright? I'm down with it.
In fact, I want to talk about getting more work.
Ha.
No way.
You're knocking back clients you already have.
One client.
Jemima Harris is one client.
I had to explain everything to her.
She was not very happy.
Nat! Don't you ever Isn't there certain people that you just don't want to touch? It's not about me.
What does she make you do? Well, it's not one thing in particular.
I bet it is.
You just want to know all the juicy details.
- No, I don't.
- Yes, you do.
You want to know every little bit.
Sean, I am happy for you to keep your hang-ups to yourself.
Hey, I'm happy to admit that I've got hang-ups.
Jemima.
Yeah.
Nice try.
- JEMIMA: Hi.
- I thought you cancelled.
Well, I couldn't.
She's on heat for you.
Sean.
Oh, thank God! Here? Looks like at room two.
- What an absolute treat.
- [ giggles .]
Enjoy.
What are you going to do? Whatever you want.
What would you like me to do? I don't know.
OK.
I am gonna kiss you all over, OK? SEAN: I've slept with a lot of women.
Thin women.
Fat women.
Crazy women.
Sometimes just plain unattractive women.
Although, mostly you can find an angle somehow.
No.
Come on.
But then occasionally you get one like Jemima Harris, and there's one word to describe it.
And that word is 'awkward'.
She's like a world-champion boxer parrying my every move.
If you just If you just lie back - Here.
- No, come this way.
- Which way? - Here.
Keep your legs straight.
No, sit up! Oh! I want you to root me! SEAN: Gee, Jemima.
If only it were geometrically possible.
You love it, don't you? Put me back! What are you doing? SEAN: Trying to make you rootable.
I'm expanding your horizons, Jemima.
- Sean! - [ grunts .]
Arrggh! Shit! Yeah, you like that, huh? Oh, yeah! Arrggh! SEAN: Thank you very much, Jemima.
I think you just helped me discover my brand-new G-spot.
- It's nice of you to drop by, Eric.
- It's nice of you to invite me.
Great place you've got here.
- Cheers.
- Cheers.
So, you're a doctor? Is that right? Yes, I am.
But let's not talk about me.
No, no.
Let's.
I want to know all about you.
It's marvellous to be in medicine.
Bet you're a specialist.
I'm right, aren't I? You're a medical specialist, and I bet you specialise in - Let me see - Colorectal.
What? Colon.
Rectum.
Gastrointestinal.
- [ both laugh .]
- I see.
That's a gorgeous watch you're wearing.
- Oh.
You like it? - Yes, very much.
Very stylish.
Thank you.
I always say you can tell a lot about a man by the watch he's wearing.
Oh? - Cheers.
- Cheers.
[ Gillian moans .]
[ Gillian and Eric laugh .]
GILLIAN: Oh, yeah Oh, God - 'Bye.
- 'Bye.
Do you have anything for the laundry service? I've got a pick-up in the morning.
No, I'm fine, thanks.
I'll be heading home tomorrow.
Whenever you're ready, Mother.
What about the sheets? I'm sorry if I upset you, Melanie.
Oh, you didn't upset me.
I don't care.
I don't care.
I didn't take any money from him.
Oh.
Well, that's the main thing.
Should I have? Would that have made it better? How much would you have charged him? - That's none of your business.
- Like hell it's not.
What? You're my daughter and what you do is my business, whether you like it or not.
Parenting does not stop at some magical age.
[ scoffs .]
Parenting.
I'm here to tell you, it doesn't change, whether you're 4, 14 or That's what you call parenting? You were rutting with some random in my home.
Exactly what you do on a daily basis.
- No, no, that's completely different.
- How? How is it different? It just is.
I don't have to explain to you.
You're doing this just to get at me, aren't you? - You are.
Yep.
- Not true.
I didn't think you'd be fussed.
You spend five years telling me how normal you are, how reasonable and rational your entire lifestyle is.
There you go, Mother.
You got your revenge.
"Don't judge me, Mum.
Don't talk about my work.
" Look who's talking the moral high ground now? Listen, Gilly, I'm not having this discussion with you, OK? - Not right now.
- Come on.
Admit it.
Deep down you do not like what you do for a living.
I love what I do.
I love it.
And it eats you up.
Who knows? Maybe that's a reason to love it even more.
I love you, Melly.
You know that.
You're my daughter and I love you.
And you're a psychopath.
And I have mixed feelings about you.
So get over it and move on.
Uniformly moist.
That's what she needs.
I usually over-water.
Well, she'll hate that.
I'll just, uh, put some of this food in.
It's very sweet of you.
Thank you.
No problem.
Just hope she flowers for you.
Yeah.
Can I get you a cold drink or? Uh, yeah no.
I actually should get moving.
OK.
But, um we could do lunch sometime.
- Lunch? - Yeah.
I mean, not necessarily in the middle of the day, um I quite like lunch at night.
[ both laugh .]
So, um We could just have a meal.
At night.
Yeah.
Or whenever you have time.
OK.
Why not? Great.
Come on.
I'm just glad it's over.
I don't have to do it anymore.
You loved it.
I think I was starting to.
Yeah, of course you did.
Because it was wicked and wrong.
I wasn't being wrong.
He was the one having the affair.
Predictable womanising bastard.
[ sighs .]
You know, part of me really wanted to hurt him.
Wanted to tell him it was the wife that put me up to it.
Nothing to do with protecting the wife.
Well, I guess, in spite of yourself, you really did like him.
All this time seething over my husband's stupid affair, yet here I was playing the mistress.
Is that it, then? Mmm.
Looks that way.
And now I have to tell Fiona he know who I am.
Well, she is paying the bills.
Mmm.
- Gorgeous day.
- [ chuckles nervously .]
I love this time of year.
Yes.
- Fiona - Lauren - [ both chuckle .]
- You go.
No, you go.
Lauren Something's happened.
[ laughs .]
Something quite incredible.
We had sex.
Last night.
- Wow.
- Yeah.
I don't know how to explain it.
Terry came home and he had this look and I I just We did it.
Then and there.
[ laughs .]
It was like when we first met.
That good? Yeah, I don't know.
I guess it was.
I don't dislike sex.
I just I don't think I'm much good at it.
I think I actually was gonna ask you for some advice.
You know, maybe get better at it.
[ chuckles .]
You know, you seeing Terry and and because of this I I think my marriage has been reinvigorated.
That's wonderful.
So, um thank you, Lauren.
And, uh I guess it's over.
- I don't need you anymore.
- You don't? - No.
- Are you sure? Believe me, if things change, you'll be the first to know.
So, what did you want to say? Oh.
Nothing.
I just wanted to see if you were OK with everything, and you are, so Yeah.
I am.
Heather.
This came for you.
International.
Thanks.
WOMAN: Hey, H.
I'm getting married.
I know Canada's a long way away and I will understand completely if you can't be there.
But we did adore each other once upon a time.
Remember? Love still, Ally.
Hey.
Hello.
Are you OK? Yep.
Red.
I feel like wearing red.
Hello, mischief.
Where's Elouise? I don't know.
So she's cool with you being here on your own? Sure.
It's all part of the effect you're having on us.
Right.
Well, so long as there's not a rift.
No.
Don't worry about that.
Good.
Because I don't like rifts.
Let me do this.
Do you always ask your clients about their wives? No.
Most of their wives I haven't had sex with.
Would you like to? Is that a research question? Yeah.
Of course.
No, it's not.
Why don't you go and have a shower? Why don't you come down there and shag me senseless? I just love your skin.
It's so soft.
[ groans .]
Wait Close your legs.
Like this? Yes.
That way I can massage that spot just a little more effectively.
[ sobs .]
[ dials phone .]
TERENCE: Hello? Hello, it's me.
Hello, me.
[ sighs .]
I'm sorry.
I just I just needed to know if you were OK.
I need to see you.
Are you sure? Are you? Yes.
Tonight? I can't.
Sorry.
It'll have to be tomorrow.
OK.
How about you call me, then? You can't let her get to you like that, Mel.
Zip it, Sean.
You don't know what you're talking about.
She said I'm not Chinese.
Huh? I dunno.
She said I'm not Chinese, or China, or something like that.
- She just kept saying it.
- Mental case.
Hey, I want you to cancel your clients for a day.
What for? I just want to, you know, take Mum out for a day.
- Where? - I don't know exactly.
Are you totally perverse? Why would I want to spend more time with me woman? Crikey.
Because because we need to do it, Mel.
We need to just take her out and spend some time with her.
I spend more then enough time with her, thank you very much.
Listen, in 25 years, right, or more, we've never done anything like a normal family.
Never.
Just once, I would like to spend some quality time together - Have you got Dad coming? - No.
It's just you, me and Mum.
- But that's a start.
- Oh.
I know.
Let's take her to the nuthouse.
It's useful.
It's a constructive use of time.
We're gonna go to the zoo, alright? - The zoo? - Yeah, I want to go to the zoo.
Other kids got to go to the zoo.
I never did.
Oh, Sean.
You know, you don't need Mum to go to the zoo.
You're a grown-up.
You can do it yourself.
I know.
That's the point, alright? It's a family outing.
So get on the phone and call your clients and make some room for some family time, alright? We can do it.
What's happening? I don't know.
I must be working for the other side, otherwise I would never have made the call.
Well, I'm having an affair with a prostitute.
Give me a break.
I'm rooting a politician.
Fair point.
Who's more certifiable? People who don't have affairs.
I think I'm getting involved.
I think you're getting excited.
[ sighs .]
How many people do you have sex with in a week? How many people do you lie to? Oh, that's cheap.
- I'm a hooker.
- Yeah.
We're gonna have to talk about that sooner or later.
And to answer your question - one.
The number of people I lie to.
- [ Chloe sighs .]
- WILL: Mmm.
That was unbelievable.
CHLOE: It was not.
It was really quite ordinary.
WILL: Oh, are you kidding? I love it.
CHLOE: I feel it was overcooked.
WILL: Oh, harsh judge.
And you're wrong.
Mine was perfect.
Well, I'm glad you enjoyed it.
- Even if it was takeaway.
- Mmm.
- Um, do you want me some more wine? - Yeah.
I'll get it.
So Is this lunch or dinner? What meal exactly are we having here? I like supper.
- I think supper's a terrific word.
- Mmm.
Supper's good.
As is brunch.
- Mmm.
Buffet? - Feast? - Chloe? - Mmm.
Why don't you and me go to bed? - Mmm, you smell fantastic.
- Yeah, I I I can't, Will.
I can't, not now.
Why not? - Because I'm not at work.
- Me neither.
No seriously Listen, you have to stop.
Just relax a bit.
Are you kidding? No, I'm not.
Plus, I've got a partner.
So? Look, we can go to my place if you want.
What? Are you telling me that I have to make and appointment if I want to Yeah.
Absolutely.
Get out.
Chloe.
That is the weirdest thing I've heard in a long time.
I'm sorry that you feel that way.
Well, do you want me to give you some cash? No, I don't.
No.
You're really starting to ruin the whole night.
No, but seriously.
Seriously, you're really starting to ruin everything.
Don't Please don't do this.
Well, what's the difference, then? Explain it to me.
Will - Maybe I should just walk you out.
- Yeah, maybe.
[ television plays .]
[ fills up water glass .]
[ Gillian stirs .]
Where's Joan Crawford? - Mum is out walking.
- Oh.
- Hey, look at this.
"Snore and Roar.
" - Snore and what? Yeah, you can wine, dine and sleep in the elephants' enclosure.
What happens if one of the elephants is a sleepwalker? No, the elephants are in another part of the zoo, Mel.
I'd sleep at the zoo if I could be in amongst the tigers or something.
Yeah, of course you would.
Not everyone's that mad.
Oh, pussies.
She told me what happened.
And you're still OK with it? Well, I think her methodology sucks but you can't doubt her commitment.
To what? To making you engage with her, Mel.
Oh, I'll engage with her one day.
Engage with her throat.
She's trying to get through to you, Mel.
Trust me, Sean, she got through to me, alright.
Truth is, I think she wants to be you, but she wouldn't admit that.
Oh, that's crap.
No, I'm serious, Mel.
She wants to be fearless and she tries it on and it never fits.
Rubbish.
She just doesn't know how to engage with men.
Other than as sexual objects.
That is rich coming from you.
Well, I'm a chip off the old block, aren't I? At least I know how to turn the tap on and off.
She's petrified of getting old, Mel.
Tell me about it.
- Hey? - Mmm.
What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants wearing sunglasses? Go on.
What? No.
Come to the zoo with us, alright? You don't want this to turn into full-scale warfare.
Nothing.
He didn't recognise them.
[ makes drumming noise, giggles .]
OK, I'll come.
Thank you.
It's gonna be a blast.
Just remember, I'm doing this for you, Seana, not her.
Alright.
It's my fault.
I shouldn't have had him there in the first place.
It's not your fault, Chloe.
The guy came over for a meal.
Yeah, I know.
But I'm just never sure of what the rule is with that.
What rule? The rule about dinner or lunch or whatever and sex.
Well you share a meal, you have to put out.
That's the rule.
I didn't mean it like that.
I mean I don't know what I mean.
I just I probably shouldn't have dinner with clients.
- [ both laugh .]
- Yeah, that's a good rule of thumb.
Well, I'll try and remember that in future.
[ groans .]
- I've been having orgasms.
- Yes? Just saying.
Hey.
Hi.
I'm going mad.
Comepletely, stark-raving 'Alice in Wonderland'.
- Is this about Terence? - Yeah.
He's sleeping with his wife on the side.
The wife pays me to have sex with him, which makes them start having sex, so she wants me to stop, but I just can't.
- Rock on, Lauren.
- [ sighs .]
- Does that make sense? - Not really.
But it's obvious it's doing something for you.
- I had an orgasm.
- Mmm? What's her name? Jack.
A male.
I know.
No male has ever given me an orgasm like that.
You've got boy germs.
Yep.
Big time.
Hey.
[ laughs .]
- Maybe not.
- No, keep it.
So, what time's the safari leaving? Around sunset.
Mum's running a bit late.
Mm-hm.
You know what? - I really wanna see the red pandas.
- Yeah, red pandas are the bomb.
Oh, here we go.
Hey.
Hi, baby.
Mwah! You all ready? Mel's up for it.
- Really? - Yep.
That's nice.
I was thinking Maybe you two would like to go.
- Yeah, we are going, Mum.
- Yeah.
Yeah.
I mean you don't need me.
We do.
It's a family outing, Mum.
- Got a better offer, Gillian? - Eric invited me to the football.
He's a member.
- Eric? Who? - He's lovely.
I told him I just needed to change.
Melly, I was wondering - You wanna borrow a frock.
- Yeah.
Just something simple.
- Sure.
- No, no.
Stop for a second, alright? What about the zoo? I booked tickets.
Oh, sweeheart.
Honestly, you'll have a better time without me.
- The whole point was you, Mum.
- [ laughs .]
All those monkeys? I don't think so.
I can't say I'm a fan.
What about my hair? Help yourself.
What, you didn't see that coming? Should you be drinking so much? You're my mistress.
Mistresses don't complain.
Haven't you got a speech to write? I've delegated it to someone else.
Is that wise? I don't know.
I don't even know if I want this leadership thing anymore.
Why not? Maybe I've got better things to do.
Oh, this is insane.
Just to be here, I am completely insane.
Do you want me to leave? Let's go lie down.
Honestly, Terence, I can't believe [ groans in pain .]
Terry? What's the matter? Are you What are you doing? Chest pain.
[ gasps, yells .]
Terry? Terry! Oh, my God.
Terry? Terry! Terry? Terry.
[ gasps tearfully .]
Kimberly's the brunette, the one who works for the oil company.
She likes me to start with a massage.
She likes to keep her pants on, though.
Like, her suit pants.
She likes me to give her a massage with oil.
Usually something with almond.
She only lets me massage her back.
Never her front or the rest of her body.
Mostly, she likes to keep her bra on.
WOMAN: [ on phone .]
She keeps her bra on? SEAN: Yeah.
She likes to keep her bra on.
Later, when she's taking off her suit pants, she likes to lie on her stomach and get me to touch her through her knickers.
Touch her with your fingers? Mm-hmm.
Touch her clit.
With my fingers.
Through the outside of her knickers.
[ beast roars .]
He's suffered a cardiac arrest.
We'll have to get him straight into emergency.
You're next of kin? No.
No, I'm not.
Um But I do have her number.
Captioned by Grantman Brown