Sonny with a Chance (2009) s02e07 Episode Script

One minute to show time.
Sicky Vicky sketch up first.
- Have a good show, Zora.
- oh, I will.
But just to make sure Hey what're you doing? I got that for you for your birthday.
Sonny, you know I never perform without snapping off a doll head and Throwing it over my shoulder for good luck.
You don't need some silly preshow ritual to be funny, Zora.
Well, I'm not taking any chances.
Yeah, well, neither am I.
"Where do cats go on field trips?" Meow-seum wow, that was bad.
Okay, I chewed my gum, read my joke, now I can be funny.
Now let's get back to So Random! Hello, I'm sicky Vicky.
And welcome to "how to have fun when you're sick! Today I've got athlete's foot.
I got it from Alex Bazarsky because she came to school with athlete's foot-- not cool.
And she's not even much of an athlete.
I mean, she's kind of a klutz.
Toenail sketch up next.
I am the toe-nail fairy.
Toe-nailed it.
Hey, you know what the first three letters in "fungus" spell? FUN! Well, that's it for today.
I'm sicky Vicky, and next week we'll show my friend here how you can have fun with internal bleeding.
Not cool.
- Give it up for "So Random!" - That was fun - "whoa!" - I know.
I saw that.
Who left this gum on the side of my stage? You know what's important it's that you are okay.
I almost died.
But you didn't.
So in a way, you know, we should all be celebrating.
Yeah, Tawni's a survivor.
And it doesn't matter who did it.
yeah! Whoo! You know, usually I'd find the one person responsible for this and make their life miserable.
But this time I'm just going to move on.
Look at you, Tawni, turning the tables on everyone's expectations.
Yeah, I like the idea of being a table Turner.
Turn that table.
Flip that chair.
Scrape that floor.
We're getting rid of gum, so what happened to me won't happen to me again.
It's not that bad.
I almost died.
But you didn't.
Besides, some people really need gum, you know, to freshen their breath or to be funny onstage or to blow a big bubble, you know.
Keep scraping.
Yeah, keep scraping.
Look at all this cute gum I scored.
I can glob it all together and set the world's record for the biggest chewed gumball.
When you're done with that, call me.
Well, it's good to see all of you working on the Chad initiative.
- What's Chad initiative - I'm cleaning up the planet.
Oh, the planet.
- We're cleaning up gum.
- wow.
So wait, you suddenly care about the planet? What's in it for you? My face on the cover of "tween weekly"'s green issue-- duh.
- What's make it green? - it's printed on the recycled paper of all the non-green issues I was on before.
You know, I'm starting to think all of your hot air might be the cause of global warming.
I'll have you know I'm now using alternative energy to power everything in my dressing room.
I am walking the walk.
Well, we are scraping the scrape.
Come on, guys, let's keep working.
I need a break, Sonny.
My arms are killing me.
Yeah, we'll be there in a minute.
Oh! You know, I'm concerned that you guys are this sore from just a little scraping.
Clearly you guys gotta work out.
Why don't you use my private gym? 'Cause every time you do something nice for us, we end up sad.
- Or injured.
- or in Mexico.
That was the old Chad.
And you did beat the bull.
Ole.
- Oh, yeah, we did.
- oh, we did.
I mean, guys, come on, don't you trust me? Not as far as we can throw you.
If you trust me, you could throw me a whole lot farther.
- Come with me.
- all right.
- You got a water fountain? - oh, yeah.
- I'm real thirsty.
- OK.
Good news.
Gum is banned? Yep.
Mr.
condor agreed with me.
Gum is banned from the entire studio.
For like a week or like a day? - Forever.
- forever? Need I remind you I almost died.
But you didn't.
Ooh, I hope I see an iguana.
Dude, for the last time we're not in Mexico.
We're not even having Mexican for lunch.
Oh, bummer.
It's taco Tuesday back in America.
We're in America in Chad's gym.
Okay, amigo.
Let's just start exercising on that machine over there.
come on.
That's the fire alarm.
No, it's not.
It's a Mexican arm-strengthening machine.
It says "fire alarm" right on it.
I believe it's pronounced "fire alarm", that's how you feel the burn.
I'm going to go exercise in the real world.
And this is a real man's workout right here, full body.
Hey, you realize - your face is where my butt usually is, right? - what? Why don't we start you with the simpler machine, like the fire alarm.
In your face, Mr.
fitness.
Better yet, why don't you guys stick to the elyptical machine, that way we can cover every muscle group.
Yeah! Come on, yeah! I want fire, I want density.
- What was that? - Sounded like Grady pulling a muscle on the elyptical.
So did you find anything yet? Anything else? Nope, looks like this room is gum free.
Gum free? We'll see about that.
She's never gonna get her hands on my secret stash of Wisconsin Joes Cherry Blows.
Zora: You'll never get away with it.
Shut up, conscience.
It's me.
Shut up, me.
I've been watching you, Sonny, before every show-- the unwrapping of the gum, the chew, the reading of the comic, the toss.
Okay okay, I get it.
I've got a preshow ritual.
Eh, don't be embarrassed.
We all have our superstitions-- Grady dances, Nico bounces, I rip the heads off dolls.
Look Zora, you just can't say anything to tawni about my.
.
GUM PROBLEM.
Why would I? look behind you.
Agh! Okay, that was weird.
But it's no record breaker, Sonny.
Agh! Look, we both need gum.
You need to chew it and I need it chewed.
So I'll distract tawni right before show time.
.
Oh, and you'll get my gum when I'm done.
Deal? Yes, but I'm not shaking that hand.
Okay, operation "you distract tawni while I chew my gum because it's my preshow ritual that helps me be funny" is underway.
I'm glad we didn't go with the long name.
One minute to show time.
I love me.
I love me more.
I love me most.
Gum? you! No Tawni, you don't understand, it's just my thing.
I GOTTA CHEW CHEW CHEW TO GET THE HA HA HAs.
Wah wah wah.
gum is banned.
Wait, no.
I've never performed without chewing gum first.
Well, you should have thought about that before you left it on the floor.
I almost died.
But you didn't.
Zora, whatever happens out there, if you can't save me, save my gum.
Okay.
Sonny, you'll be fine.
Yeah, you don't need some lame ritual to get laughs.
Now let's get back to So Random! Hi everyone, I'm Vicky sicky-- I mean, sicky sicky.
And welcome to-- let me tell a joke.
it's really funny.
Okay, why do cats go to the meow-seum? Because they're on a field trip.
No no no, I messed that up.
What is she doing? Go to commercial.
go to commercial.
Okay, I know.
I deserve that boo.
And that one too.
Look, I know Sonny Munroe had have the worst show of her life last night, but there's no need to rub it in.
Oh, guys, it's so good to see two friendly faces.
Boo! Give me a break.
Like you guys have never had a bad show before.
Not like that.
Come on, let's hit the gym.
I think girls are starting to look at us.
Yeah, and not in a weird way.
Boo! Zora, thank goodness.
Where did you put my gum? is it safe? Well, if by safe you mean did I chew it and add it to my giant gumball before tawni could get to it, - then yes.
- that's not what I meant.
Then no, it's not safe, but it is right behind you.
Agh! Again? Why do I keep having these freaky visions in my head? And what am I supposed to do without my gum? Don't knock it.
You knocked it.
Nice work, guys, yeah.
some "chabs.
" Whoo! - Chabs are a copyrighted combination of Chad and abs.
- I was hoping to get myself some chiceps.
Yeah, and I was going for chuns of steel.
Huh.
Wow, halfway there, buddy.
- Thanks.
- yeah.
So just keep cranking, guys! Whoo! get back to it! Getting mean, getting lean doing it good, fellows.
yeah! Whoo! Why do you think he's being so nice to us? Well, I think he respects our newly-toned bodies.
Oh yeah, when you get here for the interview, you'll see.
Everything I've got is powered by alternative energy-- my phone, my massage chair, my rotisserie chicken.
What? of course it's organic.
I sat on the egg myself.
I've even got a closed-circuit security system so I can monitor my little alternative energy source.
You're slacking off! I can feel it.
What? no no no.
The system is amazingly responsive.
Hey, tawni girlfriend.
What's with the bear? Nothing.
nothing at all.
My mom just brought it to me.
It's cute and filled with love and nothing but love and comfort.
Gum? Look, tawni, you don't understand.
I don't know how this all started, but all I know is I can't be funny without my gum.
Too bad 'cause I'm putting my foot down.
Get out of my head.
Well, get this into your head-- gum is banned.
MY RIB.
What's happening to me? The longer I go without gum, the more of these freaky visions I have.
I've gotta store up for the long winter ahead.
What, are you a comedy squirrel? I almost died, Sonny.
And as you can see in here, everything is powered by alternative energy.
Let me get you an alternative-energy smoothie.
Hey, I was-- hey, what are you doing here, buddy? - I was just wondering which machine is best for-- - Pedal.
pedaling works for everything.
Oh, okay.
Grady? whoa, Grady.
Grady, I can see you on TV.
- That was weird.
- solar power.
Something must be blocking the sun, like an eclipse.
There wasn't supposed to be an eclipse today.
Or a blimp.
Not blimp weather.
Must be a chubby guy hang-gliding then, right? Yeah, I could see that.
Totally.
Well, whatever it is, it's gone now.
Man, Grady's gonna be bummed he missed that chubby guy hang-gliding.
- I'd better go comfort him.
- You can do that.
- Pedal pedal.
- all right.
Dude, you're not gonna believe this.
All this exercise equipment is powering everything in Chad's dressing room.
- His blender? - yes.
- His massage chair? - yes.
- his underwear? - If it lights up, then yes.
We're his alternative energy source.
I thought he respected us, but he's using us for our bodies.
Well, we're gonna use our bodies for revenge.
He wants power-- we'll give him power.
- Keep pedaling-- faster.
- okay.
- We'll show him.
- come on.
Wha-a-a-at? Wha-a-a-At's happening? I don't know if I can go any faster.
Come on, dude.
Put your chuns of steel into it.
No no no, no pictures.
No.
Agh! no no no.
No, no pictures.
no pictures.
Gummy! No no no.
No-o-o-o-o! Huh, that sounds like Chad getting hit with a giant gumball.
What are you doing? I'm leaving.
If I can't be funny, then I can't be on "So Random! This is the thing that makes you leave the show and go back to Wisconsin? - Oh my gosh, an old lady laughing -What are you taking about? Who's laughing at you? The kooky old lady in my vision.
Vision? Who are you-- raven? Yeah, that's it.
keep laughing.
Maybe this is the key to why I need gum to be funny.
Oh my gosh.
I just figured it out.
Did you just just use me to solve your problem? Yes.
My aunt Fanny used to give me gum every time I made her laugh.
Somehow I turned that into some weird superstition where I thought I needed gum to be funny.
Turns out I got gum because I was funny.
I've chewed tons of gum, got dozens of cavities, read thousands of lame comics for nothing.
It turns out I'm funny all on my own.
- Funny on your own? - yeah.
Ow, my rib.
I'm back, baby! yeah! Chuns of steel.
chuns of steel.
Yeah! What was that? I think Sonny saw aunt Fanny in a weird vision and got her funny back.
Well, since this is our last workout in Chad's private gym, what do you say we hit the fee-ray Al-arm? - Let's do it.
- after you, mi amigo.
Andale.
OH! Good thing we're in shape, because we'd better run.
Yeah.
I'm going to take the bike.
What? what? The bike doesn't move.
Oh, this is Mexico all over again.
Oh!