Survivor's Remorse (2014) s02e07 Episode Script
The Injury
The team lost five of six games that I missed after M-Chuck gouged my eye.
Get out of the past, okay? We're in the happy present.
I hate hospitals.
Sick people.
Dying people.
Healthy people finding out they sick.
Sounds of tubes sucking shit out of all the places got leaky shit.
This ain't my thing, man.
I let my team down by missing six games, but, you know, I'm back and I'm ready to bear down and ball.
37 points, six rebounds, nine assists.
On fire and back in the saddle.
What do you have to say? Atlanta's a great town.
Great fans.
I plan on being here for a long time.
Jupiter Blackmon wants me to be his manager.
Top-ten pick in the NFL draft, and he wants me.
I sign Jupiter, I'm not always gonna be there for Cam.
Mr.
Calloway.
Mr.
Calloway.
Mr.
Calloway.
May I remove your sweatshirt for the MRI? Don't bother.
I'm fucked.
Let's not draw any conclusions until the doctors have viewed the images.
- You suggesting I'm not fucked? - I'm a technician, not a doctor.
I already seen the doctor.
The doctor sent me here because he's stalling from telling me my knee is fucked.
Let's try and remain hopeful, okay? Can't believe you guys are missing my game.
And I can't believe you're gonna miss us singing the national anthem.
At a college game, not my game.
Invite us to sing the national anthem like Georgia South Eastern University did and we will.
That college only invited you after I bought it as a charity auction item, okay? It's not my fault that they booked you the same time I got a game, too.
I like it when we all together.
Yeah, you like it when we're all together watching you play basketball.
Yeah, that, too.
You think you can come later? Oh, your game is an hour before ours, but we got to be there like an hour earlier, and it's an hour drive.
Plenty of games we've seen you play, plenty more to come.
You're playing New York.
They suck.
Your coach would give you the day off to come see us sing.
- People bought seats to see me play.
- Wasted money.
When you're up by 40 by the first half, people will realize they paid to come see you sit on the bench.
Mm.
Oh, shit, what's Unc got going today? Oh, no.
- That's my brother.
- Where did you find that?! Let's show them how it's done.
They ain't got nothing on us! - Come on, sis! - Get it, twirl it! - Take it down.
- Take it down.
All right.
Fucking fuck, fuck, fuck.
- Fuck.
- The MRI will take about one hour.
- God damn it.
- The procedure itself is painless.
What the fuck is that? You ain't fucking sticking me with that.
This is a contrast agent that will help us to see if there's any damage.
You mean how much, not if.
I ain't roll all the fuck the way down to you to determine "if.
" - What exactly is the contrast agent? - Gadolinium.
Nah, you ain't putting any nium-ending shit in me.
I know all about Madame Curie and radium and plutonium and all that, nah.
Well, your doctor made a specific request to use the gadolinium in your case.
My case meaning it's a bad case? - Gadolinium is perfectly safe.
- You don't know if it's safe inside me.
I've never had an MRI.
You don't know if I'm allergic.
- You might feel a little pinch.
- You are in kind of a sadistic rush.
This room is constantly needed by many different people every day of every year.
So you need to decide if you want to get this done or I can alert the doctor if you need a sedative.
No, I don't need a sedative.
But how do I know you're not injecting me with some kind of Tuskegee Airmen poison experiment? - You're just gonna have to trust me.
- I barely know you.
- I'm Cam.
- I know.
Shall I call the doctor? Hit me with the poison, Dr.
Frankenstein.
Okay.
All right, now, as it courses through your body - Ow.
it may feel warm.
Like rum, just not any fun.
What's your cocktail of choice? - Ow.
- All right.
I need you to lean your weight on me as I lift you.
Just don't fucking drop me.
I can't fuck up my other fucking knee.
Language like that really isn't necessary.
Language like that was fucking invented for situations like this.
Ah! Ow "The Star-Spangled Banner" is a hard song to sing because it is not well-written.
- I think saying that is treason.
- And I think you saying that is wrong.
So let's look over the words, shall we? Baby, don't worry about us, okay? We have been singing all our lives.
- Mm-hmm.
- Not in front of 20,000 you ain't.
Hey, bring it.
I'm glad somebody's giving us a chance to sing in public.
You bought the chance at the charity auction, which Cam bought.
Hey, Cam's generosity is helping the people with the fucked up mouths.
- What's it called, Ma? - Cluttered palates.
Yeah, the money that was used to purchase this opportunity is helping the fucked-up-mouth kids get their cluttered palates all fixed.
No, it's true.
You know, they got snaggle teeth and the weird lips.
- Their shit is just all screwy.
- Yeah.
- Damn.
- We must rehearse, people.
- The performance is nigh.
- "Nigh"? - What the hell is wrong with you? - Fuck you from? The Emerald Forest? - Have fun in Denver.
- All right.
- Fucking right, we gonna get turnt.
- Whoa.
Oh, no, we not.
We gonna lay flat and low.
Have an impressive prospect visit is what I meant.
No, no, no.
See, Missy, me and you see eye to eye about the need for fun.
Come nightfall, Jupiter gonna get his dick wet Denver style.
Why are you looking at me when you say that? And you know what? You got to watch what you say out loud in front of people.
- It's a work trip.
- Man, why you always calling it "work"? That is why you signed with him.
Just can't believe I'm missing another one of Cam's games.
- I hate this.
- Playing New York don't count.
You're building your and his management business.
Making sure Jupiter gets a good contract is helping that business.
Wish me luck in getting these fools through the national anthem.
Look, just make sure when they punch each other out it's off camera.
- All cameras.
- All right.
Love you.
Love you.
- Mm.
- Hey, that's my wife.
Don't act like I don't touch myself and think about it.
What? How long do you bury me in this metal coffin? About 45 minutes if you can stay still.
- I'm going to lean you back now.
- Wait, hold on.
Now, you said a lot of people fly in and out of here getting their shit examined and whatnot.
So due diligence on my part, how do you go about eliminating, like totally eliminating, all the sickness and bacteria and the blood and the maggot-infested scabby gash residue and the antibiotic resistant, festering, germy viruses that live and breathe in there? Well, this machine is disinfected after every exam.
Everyone washes thoroughly.
Lean back, please.
Definitions of thorough vary.
Mini microbes are microscopic.
- Naked eye can't see.
- I am aware.
But you may not be aware of is that it's the hospital "staff" infections that are killing people.
You get on the Internet, they can't hide the stats.
How does this hospital track who on the staff is infected? "Staph" is spelled with a P-H.
Yeah, because they're afraid of the lawsuits.
They changed the spelling so they ain't liable.
New spelling doesn't change the stats.
- It's a totally different word.
- But it sounds the same.
So connect the dots before some flesh-eating shit eats my flesh and yours.
Please stay absolutely still.
Otherwise you will blur the images and we will have to redo this entire procedure.
Tell my family I said I love them if they ever show up.
And tell 'em I'm sorry.
You know, I always thought the lyric was "perilous night.
" Fight is perilous, night is not.
Depends on who you spent the night with.
George Zimmerman could be very perilous.
- What are "ramparts"? - I don't have a fucking clue.
Ram parts are the horns and meat and shit.
- This song makes no sense.
- No, sailors kept rams on the ships - for their meat and to fuck 'em.
- Julius, shut the fuck up.
Look, Spanish mariners invented hot sauce to offset the rotten taste of ram.
- Look it up.
- "Look it up" is what people say when they're pulling shit out their ass.
No, "look it up" is what people said when there were encyclopedias.
- The new phrase is "Google it.
" - Look it the fuck up on Google.
I still don't see why we're singing about ram parts, hot sauce or no.
Ramparts one word were the top parts of the forts.
- Over them, you watch things.
- Says here the word is "o'er.
" No V.
The stars and stripes were gallantly streaming and gave proof that our flag was seen by the rocket's red glare.
Uh, the lights from the rockets.
There were rockets back in the George Washington days? Why the fuck it take so long to put a man on the moon? The moon landing was fake.
Look that shit up on Google, too.
Here we go, ready? - Fuck you.
- I am not flat.
You have to get on top of that note.
I think you're just playing the wrong piano key over there.
You're not even singing the right words.
- Really? - Ah, ah, ah.
Start again.
Follow me.
- Ma.
- Nice! That was nice! Oh, my God, Missy.
When you started singing with us, I mean, we were tight.
Wow, y'all make me want to love this country.
I'm sorry.
Sorry.
I overstepped.
No, girl, you just stepped up our game.
You singing with us.
I thought y'all was gonna do some Supreme thing.
Who gonna jump out in the front like Diana? Look, she gonna be in the front, but watch your back, girls.
Doing okay in there? Fucking cloud nine.
- How bad does it look? - The doctor will share his diagnosis - once he's viewed the images.
- But you've had this job long enough to know whether I have a year-ending injury or a career-ending injury.
My job is to make certain these images are clear.
Which means your job is to have X-ray vision, which means you could definitely diagnose this if there were a gun pointed at your head.
Lf, like most guns, it's made of metal, the giant magnet in the MRI would pull it away from my head.
So I wouldn't feel pressured to say anything I shouldn't.
How many MRIs have you administered? Enough to know that I can't speculate on the images with a patient.
Fine, don't speculate.
Speak in code.
- Can you read these things? - Almost done, Mr.
Calloway.
That was not my question.
And I gather you're a guy who always gets his questions answered.
When it's involving my career, I like to get as much information as I can.
- Ow.
- You'll have it soon enough.
Can't you just, like, wink and tell me I'm all right? Just a wink.
Let me help you down so I can get you into that wheelchair.
How long will I be in the wheelchair? What do you look like when you smile, Allison? - Ms.
Pierce.
- Ms.
Pierce, I'm a man who makes a living running and jumping, I need my knees.
If my knee is shot, I prefer to get bad news from you.
I am not qualified to answer.
Let's not quibble over qualifications.
Hazard a guess.
That would be unethical.
Ethics are modifiable.
You've got politics in your future.
I want to know if I got basketball in my future.
I'm just asking you to do me a solid and tell me, in your experience, what we're dealing with here.
I'd waive my right to ethics if you'd consider this a unique and special case.
They're my ethics, not yours, and everyone's a special case.
How many MRIs have you taken that involved career-ending injuries? Many less than those that involve life-ending tumors.
My knee has a tumor? I'll let the radiologist and your team doctor know that we're done.
You can't just say "tumor" and drop the mic.
I'm dying here.
I'm not dying, but I'm dying to know.
Like, how bad is it? Shit, you're like CIA.
Just wink if I'm gonna be okay.
Can't be unethical to have something stuck in your eye and you got to wink it out.
The doctors will share the results with you momentarily.
Mr.
Calloway So we just landed, and now you flying back to Atlanta to hold Cam's hand? What about my hand? I haven't been drafted yet, Reggie.
Jupiter, I just got to see how bad Cam is.
I'll make sure he's set up, and then I'm getting back on a plane to you.
- Missy can't handle it? - Missy ain't his manager.
- I'm just saying.
- Look, if you was in the hospital, you wouldn't want me there looking after you? How hot are the nurses? 'Cause if they hot, I don't need you.
Okay, Jupiter, here is some cash for a taxi and a dinner.
Do not leave the hotel room tonight.
I'll make some calls, I'll rearrange our stuff, and then I'm back first thing in the morning, okay? Baggage claim is that way.
I will text you with the hotel details.
I need snacks.
Go directly to the hotel, room service, get all the snacks you want.
- Seriously? You paying? - Yes.
- 'Cause it's expensive.
- I know.
- And cashews is, like, $60.
- I got you.
- Can I have some candy? - You're in training, Jupiter.
- Get the candy.
Don't leave the room.
- That's what's up.
All right, go get some sleep.
I'll be back.
- Tell Cam to nut up.
- All right.
Cam, you have a grade-two MCL injury.
Why the hell'd you tell me I was gonna be okay? - Excuse me? - Ms.
Pierce examined my images and told me I was gonna be okay.
- That is messed up.
- Did she? - Allison, you care to comment? - She's right.
- You're gonna be okay.
- You just said I tore my MCL.
No, no, I said that you have a grade-two MCL injury.
That's a strain.
That's not a tear.
That's good news.
What Derrick Rose had is bad news.
He had a tear, but according to these pictures, you do not have a tear.
Now we're gonna send these images over to Dr.
Elattrache to confirm, - but that's all it is.
- Then why does it hurt so bad? Strain means it was pulled to the tearing point but did not tear.
Sometimes strains hurt more than tears.
- Where'd you read that? - I said sometimes they can.
And I don't need to have read about it anywhere.
I only need to have been doing this for 25 years.
And also to have been sitting next to the bench where I saw this man hyperextend his knee diving for a basketball.
Any other flip questions? No, I was just wondering if there was an article in a journal or something that I missed.
Yeah, you missed the article that said, "radiologists speak when spoken to.
" Don't get salty with me, Huffman.
Strains hurt more than tears sometimes.
That's the way the human body works.
It says, "I'm gonna make this hurt like hell because I want you to sit down before it tears.
" You understand?! Sports injuries have been my work for the past 25 years.
- Yeah, you already mentioned that.
- Hey, guys, it's just a strain.
You got an issue with me, why don't you take it up with my dad, John Francoeur? - Your badge says "Frankel.
" - Yeah, I changed my name.
I like to see how people treat me before they learn my lineage.
I'll tell Dad how you spoke to me.
He will tune you up.
Well, you tell your daddy, Lady Bird Francoeur, any time he wants to tangle with me, I'm here.
- I'll call him right now.
- Good, text him.
- I'll send him a fucking E-vite.
- Good, I'll be right here.
Okay, Cam.
Listen, you're gonna miss some time.
But if you stay off it and you ice it, you should be good to go in a couple of weeks.
- Seriously? - Yeah.
I don't say things that I shouldn't.
Ms.
Pierce, despite your grave error in judgment, excellent photos.
Thank you, sir.
And I'm sorry about saying anything.
Water under the bridge.
Can you take him over to the nurse's station? And, Cam, I'll be right with you after I talk to Mr.
Flaherty.
Wait here and I'll get a nurse.
Allison, I'm sorry.
- You only care about yourself.
- It was a shitty thing I did.
You cried boy tears and I got weak.
I've got no one to blame but myself.
I was scared.
I behaved badly.
Now I'm scared, laying here under the bus with my job now at risk.
Don't worry about under the bus.
He said water under the bridge.
He's not my boss.
The other guy is.
The one who works here full time.
I've never even met your team doctor till today.
Well, that argument was about them.
Some history I don't even know what they were talking about.
I'll say something to the radiologist.
You will say nothing regarding me ever again.
Don't make this more than it is.
You have no grasp at all, do you? I realize I was completely uncool.
Forgive me.
I'll tell them it was just a joke.
I'll say that you didn't tell Allison, listen.
- Ow! - Stop making a scene.
- That was fuckin' stupid.
- Hey, get back in the chair.
- Getting back, getting back.
- In the chair.
Nutrition, 3287.
Nutrition, 3287.
- What's this room? - This is the damage control room where I damage people who are out of control.
All right, calm down.
I'll calm down when it's time to calm down.
- You threw me under the bus.
- You winked, you didn't tell.
It's not your fault I'm a charming guy.
You're the worst kind of guy.
Charming when it suits you and selfish when you're scared.
You're judging me from a very small sample size.
People's behavior under duress reveals who they really are.
You drop F-bombs on people who are trying to help you and you put their jobs at risk when they're trying to comfort you.
This is no one's fault but my own, but, damn, Mr.
Superstar, you're a superstar jerk, aren't you? Let me make it up to you.
Let me take you out.
Right, because I'm a woman, and not only am I swayed by boy tears, but all I really want is just a nice dinner date to make everything better.
If that's how you say yes, great.
My mother would hate me for talking like this, but my daddy would love it.
Fuck you! I was in pain.
Actually, I'm still in pain.
But this is good.
This is distracting me.
Give me my phone or I will call security.
I'm gonna call my cell from your phone so that I have your number and you can continue to chew me out in private because this is really constructive.
- I just need your password.
- F-U-C-K-O-F-F.
"Fuckoff.
" Didn't work.
I'll try again, but if it's wrong, your phone's gonna freeze.
Give me my fucking phone.
I'm feeling something electric here.
- Rage.
- Yeah, I like it.
Do you want to explore this over sushi? You like sushi? When a woman stands up to a privileged asshole, it releases all kinds of unfamiliar endorphins.
- How about Italian? - Get well soon, fucko.
Wetzel Pretzel at Lenox Mall? It's "gallantly," not "valiantly.
" You said "or.
" It's "o'er.
" It's cold in here.
That's why I wear my driver's gloves.
Got to get yourself some of them lambskins.
They do more for you than just condoms.
They fit my ram parts.
I should be out front.
- Tell her.
- Not a chance, Sparkle.
Listen, can we just please get our phones back, okay? I'm not good without my phone.
My phone needs me, and I need my phone.
In due time.
We need to do this without the sheets now.
Say, man, I ain't even singing.
Why'd you take my phone? Because you kept showing videos to these guys.
So instead of learning the words, they watched.
It was a little funny, though, wasn't it? No, it wasn't.
I work for Georgia South Eastern University.
And neither this school nor this nation will be embarrassed by you.
What? We go on in half an hour.
Sing it right so I can get my fucking phone back.
I'll have you released.
We'll transport you home in about five.
- You good? - Yeah.
All right.
This is Dr.
Huffman, could you please connect me to the MRI room? Allison Pierce, MRI.
Cam Calloway, seriously sorry.
Jesus, Mary, and Joseph.
Look, you have every right to be angry with me.
Everything you said about me is completely true.
But I'm telling you from the bottom of my heart, I am not the guy that you witnessed in the last two hours of meeting me.
I'm a flawed person, but I'm not irredeemable.
- And I really want to take you out.
- You keep telling me that, and I keep telling you to leave me alone.
I will if you go on one date.
So I have to pay a date ransom to stop your stalking? Whatever works.
Let's just call it an off-site formal apology appointment where I once again express my regret for having an incredibly bad moment.
Or two.
Or more.
My shift ends at 2:00 a.
m.
If you're here, maybe you get my number, not promising.
Um, look, I got to ice and rest and then soon there's about to be a Vicodin in my blood.
- 2:00 A.
M.
Is unlikely.
- Good.
Look at us.
We met, said hello, fought, said good-bye.
We got through a whole relationship without having to have one.
Oh, my God, baby.
Why didn't you call me first thing? - I knew you had your big thing.
- Baby, you are my thing.
- You're my son.
- I know.
I'm fine.
It's just a strain.
- Thank God.
- I'm gonna be fine.
I didn't want you guys to know until after you sang.
Oh, baby, you're more important to us than some national fucking anthem.
I know, but, hey, the show must go on and all.
Well, it's going on without us.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Oh, shit.
- All right, bye.
- Bye.
Ms.
Pierce.
Hang on, I got I got a pen and paper somewhere.
That's cold.
How do I know that this is really you? Hi, you've reached Allison.
Leave a message.
See you soon.
- Did you get a good look at her? - No, but I did get a look at your knee, and you need to be off it.
So now that you got this random shorty's number, can we please go home? She ain't random.
You didn't have to fly back, man.
Shit happens.
You best be getting back on a plane because Jupiter alone in Denver, definition of "shit happens.
" Man, I'm just glad you all right, Cam.
I land in Denver, I get all these texts.
My heart's in my throat.
Just not a good day for me.
And I know it was not a good day for you.
- I think I really like this girl.
- You don't even know her.
I got instincts.
Get out of the past, okay? We're in the happy present.
I hate hospitals.
Sick people.
Dying people.
Healthy people finding out they sick.
Sounds of tubes sucking shit out of all the places got leaky shit.
This ain't my thing, man.
I let my team down by missing six games, but, you know, I'm back and I'm ready to bear down and ball.
37 points, six rebounds, nine assists.
On fire and back in the saddle.
What do you have to say? Atlanta's a great town.
Great fans.
I plan on being here for a long time.
Jupiter Blackmon wants me to be his manager.
Top-ten pick in the NFL draft, and he wants me.
I sign Jupiter, I'm not always gonna be there for Cam.
Mr.
Calloway.
Mr.
Calloway.
Mr.
Calloway.
May I remove your sweatshirt for the MRI? Don't bother.
I'm fucked.
Let's not draw any conclusions until the doctors have viewed the images.
- You suggesting I'm not fucked? - I'm a technician, not a doctor.
I already seen the doctor.
The doctor sent me here because he's stalling from telling me my knee is fucked.
Let's try and remain hopeful, okay? Can't believe you guys are missing my game.
And I can't believe you're gonna miss us singing the national anthem.
At a college game, not my game.
Invite us to sing the national anthem like Georgia South Eastern University did and we will.
That college only invited you after I bought it as a charity auction item, okay? It's not my fault that they booked you the same time I got a game, too.
I like it when we all together.
Yeah, you like it when we're all together watching you play basketball.
Yeah, that, too.
You think you can come later? Oh, your game is an hour before ours, but we got to be there like an hour earlier, and it's an hour drive.
Plenty of games we've seen you play, plenty more to come.
You're playing New York.
They suck.
Your coach would give you the day off to come see us sing.
- People bought seats to see me play.
- Wasted money.
When you're up by 40 by the first half, people will realize they paid to come see you sit on the bench.
Mm.
Oh, shit, what's Unc got going today? Oh, no.
- That's my brother.
- Where did you find that?! Let's show them how it's done.
They ain't got nothing on us! - Come on, sis! - Get it, twirl it! - Take it down.
- Take it down.
All right.
Fucking fuck, fuck, fuck.
- Fuck.
- The MRI will take about one hour.
- God damn it.
- The procedure itself is painless.
What the fuck is that? You ain't fucking sticking me with that.
This is a contrast agent that will help us to see if there's any damage.
You mean how much, not if.
I ain't roll all the fuck the way down to you to determine "if.
" - What exactly is the contrast agent? - Gadolinium.
Nah, you ain't putting any nium-ending shit in me.
I know all about Madame Curie and radium and plutonium and all that, nah.
Well, your doctor made a specific request to use the gadolinium in your case.
My case meaning it's a bad case? - Gadolinium is perfectly safe.
- You don't know if it's safe inside me.
I've never had an MRI.
You don't know if I'm allergic.
- You might feel a little pinch.
- You are in kind of a sadistic rush.
This room is constantly needed by many different people every day of every year.
So you need to decide if you want to get this done or I can alert the doctor if you need a sedative.
No, I don't need a sedative.
But how do I know you're not injecting me with some kind of Tuskegee Airmen poison experiment? - You're just gonna have to trust me.
- I barely know you.
- I'm Cam.
- I know.
Shall I call the doctor? Hit me with the poison, Dr.
Frankenstein.
Okay.
All right, now, as it courses through your body - Ow.
it may feel warm.
Like rum, just not any fun.
What's your cocktail of choice? - Ow.
- All right.
I need you to lean your weight on me as I lift you.
Just don't fucking drop me.
I can't fuck up my other fucking knee.
Language like that really isn't necessary.
Language like that was fucking invented for situations like this.
Ah! Ow "The Star-Spangled Banner" is a hard song to sing because it is not well-written.
- I think saying that is treason.
- And I think you saying that is wrong.
So let's look over the words, shall we? Baby, don't worry about us, okay? We have been singing all our lives.
- Mm-hmm.
- Not in front of 20,000 you ain't.
Hey, bring it.
I'm glad somebody's giving us a chance to sing in public.
You bought the chance at the charity auction, which Cam bought.
Hey, Cam's generosity is helping the people with the fucked up mouths.
- What's it called, Ma? - Cluttered palates.
Yeah, the money that was used to purchase this opportunity is helping the fucked-up-mouth kids get their cluttered palates all fixed.
No, it's true.
You know, they got snaggle teeth and the weird lips.
- Their shit is just all screwy.
- Yeah.
- Damn.
- We must rehearse, people.
- The performance is nigh.
- "Nigh"? - What the hell is wrong with you? - Fuck you from? The Emerald Forest? - Have fun in Denver.
- All right.
- Fucking right, we gonna get turnt.
- Whoa.
Oh, no, we not.
We gonna lay flat and low.
Have an impressive prospect visit is what I meant.
No, no, no.
See, Missy, me and you see eye to eye about the need for fun.
Come nightfall, Jupiter gonna get his dick wet Denver style.
Why are you looking at me when you say that? And you know what? You got to watch what you say out loud in front of people.
- It's a work trip.
- Man, why you always calling it "work"? That is why you signed with him.
Just can't believe I'm missing another one of Cam's games.
- I hate this.
- Playing New York don't count.
You're building your and his management business.
Making sure Jupiter gets a good contract is helping that business.
Wish me luck in getting these fools through the national anthem.
Look, just make sure when they punch each other out it's off camera.
- All cameras.
- All right.
Love you.
Love you.
- Mm.
- Hey, that's my wife.
Don't act like I don't touch myself and think about it.
What? How long do you bury me in this metal coffin? About 45 minutes if you can stay still.
- I'm going to lean you back now.
- Wait, hold on.
Now, you said a lot of people fly in and out of here getting their shit examined and whatnot.
So due diligence on my part, how do you go about eliminating, like totally eliminating, all the sickness and bacteria and the blood and the maggot-infested scabby gash residue and the antibiotic resistant, festering, germy viruses that live and breathe in there? Well, this machine is disinfected after every exam.
Everyone washes thoroughly.
Lean back, please.
Definitions of thorough vary.
Mini microbes are microscopic.
- Naked eye can't see.
- I am aware.
But you may not be aware of is that it's the hospital "staff" infections that are killing people.
You get on the Internet, they can't hide the stats.
How does this hospital track who on the staff is infected? "Staph" is spelled with a P-H.
Yeah, because they're afraid of the lawsuits.
They changed the spelling so they ain't liable.
New spelling doesn't change the stats.
- It's a totally different word.
- But it sounds the same.
So connect the dots before some flesh-eating shit eats my flesh and yours.
Please stay absolutely still.
Otherwise you will blur the images and we will have to redo this entire procedure.
Tell my family I said I love them if they ever show up.
And tell 'em I'm sorry.
You know, I always thought the lyric was "perilous night.
" Fight is perilous, night is not.
Depends on who you spent the night with.
George Zimmerman could be very perilous.
- What are "ramparts"? - I don't have a fucking clue.
Ram parts are the horns and meat and shit.
- This song makes no sense.
- No, sailors kept rams on the ships - for their meat and to fuck 'em.
- Julius, shut the fuck up.
Look, Spanish mariners invented hot sauce to offset the rotten taste of ram.
- Look it up.
- "Look it up" is what people say when they're pulling shit out their ass.
No, "look it up" is what people said when there were encyclopedias.
- The new phrase is "Google it.
" - Look it the fuck up on Google.
I still don't see why we're singing about ram parts, hot sauce or no.
Ramparts one word were the top parts of the forts.
- Over them, you watch things.
- Says here the word is "o'er.
" No V.
The stars and stripes were gallantly streaming and gave proof that our flag was seen by the rocket's red glare.
Uh, the lights from the rockets.
There were rockets back in the George Washington days? Why the fuck it take so long to put a man on the moon? The moon landing was fake.
Look that shit up on Google, too.
Here we go, ready? - Fuck you.
- I am not flat.
You have to get on top of that note.
I think you're just playing the wrong piano key over there.
You're not even singing the right words.
- Really? - Ah, ah, ah.
Start again.
Follow me.
- Ma.
- Nice! That was nice! Oh, my God, Missy.
When you started singing with us, I mean, we were tight.
Wow, y'all make me want to love this country.
I'm sorry.
Sorry.
I overstepped.
No, girl, you just stepped up our game.
You singing with us.
I thought y'all was gonna do some Supreme thing.
Who gonna jump out in the front like Diana? Look, she gonna be in the front, but watch your back, girls.
Doing okay in there? Fucking cloud nine.
- How bad does it look? - The doctor will share his diagnosis - once he's viewed the images.
- But you've had this job long enough to know whether I have a year-ending injury or a career-ending injury.
My job is to make certain these images are clear.
Which means your job is to have X-ray vision, which means you could definitely diagnose this if there were a gun pointed at your head.
Lf, like most guns, it's made of metal, the giant magnet in the MRI would pull it away from my head.
So I wouldn't feel pressured to say anything I shouldn't.
How many MRIs have you administered? Enough to know that I can't speculate on the images with a patient.
Fine, don't speculate.
Speak in code.
- Can you read these things? - Almost done, Mr.
Calloway.
That was not my question.
And I gather you're a guy who always gets his questions answered.
When it's involving my career, I like to get as much information as I can.
- Ow.
- You'll have it soon enough.
Can't you just, like, wink and tell me I'm all right? Just a wink.
Let me help you down so I can get you into that wheelchair.
How long will I be in the wheelchair? What do you look like when you smile, Allison? - Ms.
Pierce.
- Ms.
Pierce, I'm a man who makes a living running and jumping, I need my knees.
If my knee is shot, I prefer to get bad news from you.
I am not qualified to answer.
Let's not quibble over qualifications.
Hazard a guess.
That would be unethical.
Ethics are modifiable.
You've got politics in your future.
I want to know if I got basketball in my future.
I'm just asking you to do me a solid and tell me, in your experience, what we're dealing with here.
I'd waive my right to ethics if you'd consider this a unique and special case.
They're my ethics, not yours, and everyone's a special case.
How many MRIs have you taken that involved career-ending injuries? Many less than those that involve life-ending tumors.
My knee has a tumor? I'll let the radiologist and your team doctor know that we're done.
You can't just say "tumor" and drop the mic.
I'm dying here.
I'm not dying, but I'm dying to know.
Like, how bad is it? Shit, you're like CIA.
Just wink if I'm gonna be okay.
Can't be unethical to have something stuck in your eye and you got to wink it out.
The doctors will share the results with you momentarily.
Mr.
Calloway So we just landed, and now you flying back to Atlanta to hold Cam's hand? What about my hand? I haven't been drafted yet, Reggie.
Jupiter, I just got to see how bad Cam is.
I'll make sure he's set up, and then I'm getting back on a plane to you.
- Missy can't handle it? - Missy ain't his manager.
- I'm just saying.
- Look, if you was in the hospital, you wouldn't want me there looking after you? How hot are the nurses? 'Cause if they hot, I don't need you.
Okay, Jupiter, here is some cash for a taxi and a dinner.
Do not leave the hotel room tonight.
I'll make some calls, I'll rearrange our stuff, and then I'm back first thing in the morning, okay? Baggage claim is that way.
I will text you with the hotel details.
I need snacks.
Go directly to the hotel, room service, get all the snacks you want.
- Seriously? You paying? - Yes.
- 'Cause it's expensive.
- I know.
- And cashews is, like, $60.
- I got you.
- Can I have some candy? - You're in training, Jupiter.
- Get the candy.
Don't leave the room.
- That's what's up.
All right, go get some sleep.
I'll be back.
- Tell Cam to nut up.
- All right.
Cam, you have a grade-two MCL injury.
Why the hell'd you tell me I was gonna be okay? - Excuse me? - Ms.
Pierce examined my images and told me I was gonna be okay.
- That is messed up.
- Did she? - Allison, you care to comment? - She's right.
- You're gonna be okay.
- You just said I tore my MCL.
No, no, I said that you have a grade-two MCL injury.
That's a strain.
That's not a tear.
That's good news.
What Derrick Rose had is bad news.
He had a tear, but according to these pictures, you do not have a tear.
Now we're gonna send these images over to Dr.
Elattrache to confirm, - but that's all it is.
- Then why does it hurt so bad? Strain means it was pulled to the tearing point but did not tear.
Sometimes strains hurt more than tears.
- Where'd you read that? - I said sometimes they can.
And I don't need to have read about it anywhere.
I only need to have been doing this for 25 years.
And also to have been sitting next to the bench where I saw this man hyperextend his knee diving for a basketball.
Any other flip questions? No, I was just wondering if there was an article in a journal or something that I missed.
Yeah, you missed the article that said, "radiologists speak when spoken to.
" Don't get salty with me, Huffman.
Strains hurt more than tears sometimes.
That's the way the human body works.
It says, "I'm gonna make this hurt like hell because I want you to sit down before it tears.
" You understand?! Sports injuries have been my work for the past 25 years.
- Yeah, you already mentioned that.
- Hey, guys, it's just a strain.
You got an issue with me, why don't you take it up with my dad, John Francoeur? - Your badge says "Frankel.
" - Yeah, I changed my name.
I like to see how people treat me before they learn my lineage.
I'll tell Dad how you spoke to me.
He will tune you up.
Well, you tell your daddy, Lady Bird Francoeur, any time he wants to tangle with me, I'm here.
- I'll call him right now.
- Good, text him.
- I'll send him a fucking E-vite.
- Good, I'll be right here.
Okay, Cam.
Listen, you're gonna miss some time.
But if you stay off it and you ice it, you should be good to go in a couple of weeks.
- Seriously? - Yeah.
I don't say things that I shouldn't.
Ms.
Pierce, despite your grave error in judgment, excellent photos.
Thank you, sir.
And I'm sorry about saying anything.
Water under the bridge.
Can you take him over to the nurse's station? And, Cam, I'll be right with you after I talk to Mr.
Flaherty.
Wait here and I'll get a nurse.
Allison, I'm sorry.
- You only care about yourself.
- It was a shitty thing I did.
You cried boy tears and I got weak.
I've got no one to blame but myself.
I was scared.
I behaved badly.
Now I'm scared, laying here under the bus with my job now at risk.
Don't worry about under the bus.
He said water under the bridge.
He's not my boss.
The other guy is.
The one who works here full time.
I've never even met your team doctor till today.
Well, that argument was about them.
Some history I don't even know what they were talking about.
I'll say something to the radiologist.
You will say nothing regarding me ever again.
Don't make this more than it is.
You have no grasp at all, do you? I realize I was completely uncool.
Forgive me.
I'll tell them it was just a joke.
I'll say that you didn't tell Allison, listen.
- Ow! - Stop making a scene.
- That was fuckin' stupid.
- Hey, get back in the chair.
- Getting back, getting back.
- In the chair.
Nutrition, 3287.
Nutrition, 3287.
- What's this room? - This is the damage control room where I damage people who are out of control.
All right, calm down.
I'll calm down when it's time to calm down.
- You threw me under the bus.
- You winked, you didn't tell.
It's not your fault I'm a charming guy.
You're the worst kind of guy.
Charming when it suits you and selfish when you're scared.
You're judging me from a very small sample size.
People's behavior under duress reveals who they really are.
You drop F-bombs on people who are trying to help you and you put their jobs at risk when they're trying to comfort you.
This is no one's fault but my own, but, damn, Mr.
Superstar, you're a superstar jerk, aren't you? Let me make it up to you.
Let me take you out.
Right, because I'm a woman, and not only am I swayed by boy tears, but all I really want is just a nice dinner date to make everything better.
If that's how you say yes, great.
My mother would hate me for talking like this, but my daddy would love it.
Fuck you! I was in pain.
Actually, I'm still in pain.
But this is good.
This is distracting me.
Give me my phone or I will call security.
I'm gonna call my cell from your phone so that I have your number and you can continue to chew me out in private because this is really constructive.
- I just need your password.
- F-U-C-K-O-F-F.
"Fuckoff.
" Didn't work.
I'll try again, but if it's wrong, your phone's gonna freeze.
Give me my fucking phone.
I'm feeling something electric here.
- Rage.
- Yeah, I like it.
Do you want to explore this over sushi? You like sushi? When a woman stands up to a privileged asshole, it releases all kinds of unfamiliar endorphins.
- How about Italian? - Get well soon, fucko.
Wetzel Pretzel at Lenox Mall? It's "gallantly," not "valiantly.
" You said "or.
" It's "o'er.
" It's cold in here.
That's why I wear my driver's gloves.
Got to get yourself some of them lambskins.
They do more for you than just condoms.
They fit my ram parts.
I should be out front.
- Tell her.
- Not a chance, Sparkle.
Listen, can we just please get our phones back, okay? I'm not good without my phone.
My phone needs me, and I need my phone.
In due time.
We need to do this without the sheets now.
Say, man, I ain't even singing.
Why'd you take my phone? Because you kept showing videos to these guys.
So instead of learning the words, they watched.
It was a little funny, though, wasn't it? No, it wasn't.
I work for Georgia South Eastern University.
And neither this school nor this nation will be embarrassed by you.
What? We go on in half an hour.
Sing it right so I can get my fucking phone back.
I'll have you released.
We'll transport you home in about five.
- You good? - Yeah.
All right.
This is Dr.
Huffman, could you please connect me to the MRI room? Allison Pierce, MRI.
Cam Calloway, seriously sorry.
Jesus, Mary, and Joseph.
Look, you have every right to be angry with me.
Everything you said about me is completely true.
But I'm telling you from the bottom of my heart, I am not the guy that you witnessed in the last two hours of meeting me.
I'm a flawed person, but I'm not irredeemable.
- And I really want to take you out.
- You keep telling me that, and I keep telling you to leave me alone.
I will if you go on one date.
So I have to pay a date ransom to stop your stalking? Whatever works.
Let's just call it an off-site formal apology appointment where I once again express my regret for having an incredibly bad moment.
Or two.
Or more.
My shift ends at 2:00 a.
m.
If you're here, maybe you get my number, not promising.
Um, look, I got to ice and rest and then soon there's about to be a Vicodin in my blood.
- 2:00 A.
M.
Is unlikely.
- Good.
Look at us.
We met, said hello, fought, said good-bye.
We got through a whole relationship without having to have one.
Oh, my God, baby.
Why didn't you call me first thing? - I knew you had your big thing.
- Baby, you are my thing.
- You're my son.
- I know.
I'm fine.
It's just a strain.
- Thank God.
- I'm gonna be fine.
I didn't want you guys to know until after you sang.
Oh, baby, you're more important to us than some national fucking anthem.
I know, but, hey, the show must go on and all.
Well, it's going on without us.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Oh, shit.
- All right, bye.
- Bye.
Ms.
Pierce.
Hang on, I got I got a pen and paper somewhere.
That's cold.
How do I know that this is really you? Hi, you've reached Allison.
Leave a message.
See you soon.
- Did you get a good look at her? - No, but I did get a look at your knee, and you need to be off it.
So now that you got this random shorty's number, can we please go home? She ain't random.
You didn't have to fly back, man.
Shit happens.
You best be getting back on a plane because Jupiter alone in Denver, definition of "shit happens.
" Man, I'm just glad you all right, Cam.
I land in Denver, I get all these texts.
My heart's in my throat.
Just not a good day for me.
And I know it was not a good day for you.
- I think I really like this girl.
- You don't even know her.
I got instincts.