The Avengers (1961) s02e07 Episode Script
The Mauritius Pennny
1 (theme music playing) Man: I quite agree, Your Lordship.
It is unbelievable.
But I assure you, Your Lordship, I have this list in my hand.
It came in today's post, and it says here quite clearly "Mauritius Penny Red, 1847," and inscribed "Post Office.
" No, no, not the post-paid variety.
You have one of those yourself, haven't you? Yes, I know it's incredible.
It is like a miracle being offered a stamp like this.
Anyway, Your Lordship, if you're really interested, I'll get in touch with these people first thing tomorrow morning.
Paul, you gave me a real start.
Just one moment, Lord Matterley.
Excuse me.
Look here, my boy.
Someone's offered us a Mauritius Penny.
What are you doing? No.
You're mad! Goodchild! (ringing) (telephone ringing) The phone went on ringing for a couple of minutes.
- Nobody answered.
- So? I invited you around here 'cause I thought you might be interested.
Anyway, that thing's too heavy to lug around to your place.
Philately is one of your subjects, isn't it? Stamp collecting? Yes.
Let me hear that bit about the stamp again.
Mm-hmm.
Man: But I assure, Your Lordship, I have this list in my hand.
It came in today's post, and it says here quite clearly, "Mauritius Penny Red, 1847," and inscribed "Post Office.
" He must've misread that list he was talking about.
Why? Well, to have a stamp like that offered on a list is like seeing a Leonardo da Vinci painting advertised for sale on your local news agent's board.
You'd be surprised at the artwork my news agent sells.
There are only two specimens of that stamp in the world.
One is in the Carnegie Collection in America, the other's in the British Museum.
If a third had turned up somehow, it would only be sold by auction.
I see.
I, uh, suppose you feel quite justified in tapping an another man's telephone conversations.
Under the circumstances, yes.
About three months ago, a man was shot in Rome.
We knew he was on to something, but we never found out what it was because he died on the way to hospital.
But we found one unexplained object which was this envelope.
It's address to Mr.
Peckham, the man on the tape recording.
The odd thing about that telephone conversation is its abrupt ending.
It's as if someone else slammed the phone down for him.
Intriguing, isn't it? Well, I'm off to the little stamp shop.
- To see Peckham? - Well, I hope so.
Let me know what you find.
If you like.
Do you want a lift? - Oh, yes, please.
- (buzzing) Oh, have you got a couple of sixpences? I think I've got two threepennies.
- That's no good at all.
- What's that? It's my park pinger.
It'll be up in five minutes.
They're so hard around here, they'd even book a fire engine.
Oh, look, if we're quick, we'll be all right.
Come on, quick.
Look, sir, I can't waste any more of my time.
If you want cheap foreigns, this is the packet for you.
(bell dings) Sir, I've got to go now, so would you like to make up your mind? (doorbell jingles) Now if you're quite free, perhaps you can tell me why you killed Peckham.
Well, he found one of the lists.
- Did he know what it was about? - No.
At least I don't think so.
- Then why kill him? - Well, I You panicked, Goodchild.
There's no place for panic in the movement.
How did Peckham get hold of the list? The postman gave him the afternoon delivery in the street.
Well, Peckham may have been a doddering old fool, but this place made an excellent front for us.
I can still go on running it, can't I? I mean, it's only another four days to go, then it won't matter anymore.
We'll be in control by then.
The courts and the police and everything.
I very much hope so, but there's no telling who might start looking for the old man between now and then.
- (bell jingles) - Get back behind the counter.
(door closes) (office door closes) Good morning, sir.
Could I Could I help you? Oh, good morning, young man.
Indeed you can.
You got a very fine Early Americans here.
Oh, yes, we specialize in Americans.
I've got some mint Confederates if you care to see them.
Well, I'm mainly interested in Empires, but anything out of the ordinary you may have.
These Afghanistans, for instance.
Fine example of the Nadir Shah issue.
Oh, they're very common, sir.
Yes, but in excellent condition.
Excellent.
Excuse me.
Thank you very much.
Aha, Napoleon Ills.
I used to collect those when I was a boy.
Oh, That set cost £85 today, sir.
Goodness gracious me.
Prices have gone up since my time.
Yeah, you mentioned Empires, sir.
Would you care to have a look at what we've got? If you'd care to get them out.
I'll just browse around a little.
I'm not taking up too much of your time, am I, young man? - Oh, no, sir.
Not at all.
- Good.
We've not seen you here before, have we, sir? No.
I very rarely get to town, but a friend of mine said you usually had things of quite uncommon interest.
Lord Matterley.
You may know him.
Oh, yes, sir.
Mr.
Peckham usually deals with him.
Yes, Mr.
Peckham.
Lord Matterley often spoke about him.
Is he around? I'd very much like to meet him.
Mr.
Peckham? Mr.
Peckham is the proprietor, isn't he? Uh, yes.
He's away on holiday at the moment.
Oh, lucky Mr.
Peckham.
Where's he gone, then, abroad? Well, he didn't say where he was going, sir.
Oh, I think I've got the album here now, sir.
Yes, I shan't keep you waiting.
Do you have any further stock through here, young man? That's just the back room, sir.
There's nothing in there.
Terribly sorry.
Very rude of me.
Look, do let me give you a hand.
No, no, that's all right.
Thank you.
I can manage.
There's, um, nothing very distinguished, sir, but you may find something of interest to you.
That's the fascinating thing about philately.
You never know what you're going to find, do you? - No.
- May I just borrow? Oh, do, sir, yes.
Aha.
Yes.
No, nothing that would really suit me, I'm afraid.
No, sir.
Well, as I say, Empires aren't really our strong point.
Hard luck, hard luck But I believe Mr.
Peckham managed to purchase a Maltese Tuppenny Blue last week.
That sounds very interesting.
Oh, I've just remembered.
Mr.
Peckham sold it.
But I've heard a rumor there's another specimen on for sale at today's Today's auction.
Oh, today's auction.
So sorry.
You think that I should go along, then? I think you might find it very interesting, sir.
Indeed I'll take your advice.
Thank you very much.
You know, speaking of being Thank you, young man.
Ooh.
By the way, I see you're advertising for an assistant.
- Are you leaving? - Leaving, sir? Yes.
You have an assistant advertised there.
Oh, yes.
That's Mr.
Peckham's notice.
I was leaving, but, of course, I'm running the place now.
- Keeping it warm while he's away, eh? - Uh, yes.
Let's hope he gets very good weather.
It's been the most terrible summer, don't you think? - It has, sir, yes.
- How long is he away for? Uh, I don't know.
Surely you must have some idea.
Oh, yes, of course.
Uh, about a fortnight.
I see.
Let's hope he appreciates all you've been doing, young man.
Goodbye.
Goodbye, sir.
(door opens) Who was he? I don't know.
Your trick question about the Maltese Tuppenny Blue may have seemed brilliant to you, but when he finds out that no such stamps exists, he'll begin to wonder why.
- Did that occur to you? - No, I never thought of that.
He told him he might pick up a Maltese Blue at the auction room.
You better be there, too, to point him out to me - if he shows up.
- What will you do? I'll speak to Brown.
Brown? You sound very squeamish all of a sudden.
It was your blunder.
You killed Peckham.
You gave me the gun.
I can see I shall have to help you for the sake of us all.
You got a hammer? Yes, here.
This is the stuff for my local branch.
It only arrived this morning.
They're going back.
Come on, give me a hand to unload them.
- Now look here - Oh, shut up.
Auctioneer: Five.
Five pounds.
Am I bid five pounds? Five? Five pounds.
Six? Do I see six? Six in the center.
Thank you.
Seven.
Seven pounds.
Seven pounds.
Eight? Eight? Eight on my right.
Nine.
Nine pounds? Nine pounds.
Ten? Ten pounds.
Ten on the left.
Thank you.
11? £11 in the front.
11.
12? £12? £12.
£12.
Is that all I'm bid? £12.
£12.
(bangs gavel) Sold for £12 to Mr.
Nash.
Ah, Brown.
A rush job, I'm afraid.
- Can't be helped.
- He'll be in the auction room.
I want you to persuade him to go with you.
- Take him in there.
- Mm-hmm.
Who is it? He hasn't arrived yet.
I'll point him out to you.
Good, good.
Am I bid more than eight? Eight pounds.
Sold to Mr.
Glover for eight pounds.
Lot ten for ten pounds.
Ten pounds.
May I see ten pounds? Ten pounds.
Ten pounds.
I'm bid ten pounds on my left.
11? 12.
£12.
14 at the back.
14.
£16.
16.
Thank you.
16.
£18.
18 on the left.
20.
20? 18? 18? Do I see 18? Yes, thank you.
£18.
£18.
£18.
Is that it? £25.
£25.
I'm bid £25.
£25.
25? - (gavel raps) - Sold for 25.
You got that? Now lot 32.
Lot 32.
Do I see ten pounds? Ten pounds? Ten pounds.
Thank you.
15? 15? £15 in the center.
20? £20.
£20 on my left.
25? 25 at the back.
30? £30? £30? 30, thank you.
35? 35 in front.
40? 40? 40.
45? £45 at the back.
45.
50.
Do I see 50? £50 by the door.
Thank you.
£50? £50.
Is that all I'm bid? £50.
- (gavel bangs) - Sold for £50.
Now lot 33.
33.
- Do I see five pounds? - Congratulations.
You're now the proud owner of the late Major Wilder's entire stamp collection in 25 albums for a mere £50.
- What? - Well, there they all are.
I must go and explain to the auctioneer.
We don't want to draw attention to ourselves.
It doesn't happen to be your £50.
Don't worry.
I'll settle it.
Oh, I think this young gentleman here wants to talk to you.
Excuse me, madam.
Will you take your purchase with you or shall we deliver it? Well, I hadn't really thought Go fine with that fine Edwardian furniture of yours.
But you might even get rid of the furniture.
Could you deliver them? They are a bit bulky, these old collections.
If you'd write your name and address in here, we'll send them round to you.
Thank you.
If you'll forgive me saying so, that was a very shrewd bid.
You never know what you may find in these old collections.
Thank you, it seems I arrived just in time.
It isn't often one has the good fortune to see an attractive young lady - with an interest in philately.
- That's what drew us together.
- Really.
- Thank you.
Thank you, madam, would you like to pay now? It's the usual rule.
Don't worry.
I'll settle that, thank you.
It's very good of your, sir, but normally the auctioneer That's all right.
I'll vouch for the check.
Extremely kind of you.
Who shall I make it out to? Grosvenor Auction Rooms Limited.
Grosvenor Auction Rooms Limited.
I'm sorry, Lord Matterley.
I didn't realize that gentleman was a friend of yours.
Quite all right.
£200.
200.
Terrible writing.
It's a little wet.
Thank you.
Thank you, sir.
All right, then, madam.
We'll send these round to 5 Westminster Mews, SW1, - first thing tomorrow morning.
- Thank you.
My address.
Thank you very much.
I'm very much obliged to you, Lord Matterley.
- All sorted out now? - Yeah, it's all sorted out.
Don't you know a Mr.
Peckham? He has a little shop in South London.
Yes.
I've been dealing with him for years.
Do you find him useful? From time to time, but I was down there this morning.
Oh, really? Cigar? Uh, no, thank you.
I only deal with him by post.
I've been meaning to call on him for years.
Well, I shouldn't call on him just right now because he's on fortnight's holiday.
How very strange.
Peckham was on the telephone to me late last night.
He said nothing about going on holiday.
We were cut off.
No? Lot 35.
35.
Do I see five pounds? Excuse me.
This is the lot I'm really after.
Of course.
Is that all I'm bid, £50? £50.
- (gavel raps) - Sold for £50.
You'll be able to use these to brush up your knowledge.
The world's rare stamps won't do all the time.
Yes, very considerate of you.
Lord Matterley seemed surprised that Peckham was on holiday.
Peckham had better get back quick 'cause his assistant tried to sell me - a Maltese Tuppenny Blue.
- There's no such stamp.
Yeah, I know, I checked.
He said to be at this auction and a Maltese Tuppenny Blue would be up for sale.
I suppose he knew what he was saying.
He knew what he was saying, all right.
Six? Six pounds? Six pounds.
Seven? Seven? Do I see seven pounds? Seven pounds.
Eight pounds.
Nine? That gentleman over there, has he been bidding? Uh, no, sir, but the lady with him made a purchase.
Lord Matterley guaranteed their check.
Let me see the delivery book.
Ten pounds.
- (raps gavel) - Thank you.
Sold to Mr.
White for ten pounds.
- Uh, now lots thirty - Lost that one.
- Oh, sorry.
- Aren't you bidding anymore? - No, not at the moment.
- (pinger buzzes) May I impose on your hospitality again, Lord Matterley? Do you have a few sixpences, please? Uh They're for my parking meter.
I've already had one ticket this morning.
Thank you so much.
- I'm afraid I only have one.
- That's all right.
- Have you another one, my dear? - No.
- Oh.
- Now lot 37.
- Ah.
Now, this should be really interesting.
- Good luck.
This is the most important single item we have in the sale today.
An unperforated 1857 Ceylon Ninepenny Brown.
There's four clear margins, and I'm starting the bidding £500.
£500.
Am I bid 500? 500.
550? 550.
600? £600.
Thank you.
I see 600.
Can I ask for 700? 700? 700.
I see seven.
800? Can I ask for £800? - Excuse me.
- Do I see 800? Not even gonna blow my nose this time.
I see £800.
900.
£900.
- Come with me, Goodchild.
- What for? You know what for.
Come on.
No.
£900? I ask again.
Do I see £900? £900.
Should I go £900? £1,000.
£1,000.
£1,000.
This is your last chance.
I'm not leaving here.
I haven't done anything.
£1,000 for a single stamp? It does have four perfect margins.
Yeah, I was forgetting.
£1,000.
Do I get any advance on £1,000? £1,000.
Then it's going, going - (gavel bangs) - (gunshot) £100.
- Thank you.
- Someone appears to have fainted.
I'm not surprised at these prices.
I'll take a look.
Lot 39.
Excuse me.
Thank you.
12? £12.
Thanks.
13? £13.
"The peaceful, law-abiding world of philately" was stunned yesterday afternoon when an unknown man was shot dead at a West End auction room.
Just as bidding reached the record-breaking figure of £1,000, murder made the final bid.
" Ooh.
Huh.
A puzzling feature of the crime was who picked the dead man's pockets? What's that? The list of stamps from Pellerin et Fils, Paris.
This will be one of the lists that stamp dealers send to one another saying what they want to dispose of and what they're looking out for for their special clients.
They send them out regularly.
Hey, but listen.
"Inauguration of New Delhi, 1931 issue," one-anna, mauve and brown.
Martinique, 1892, one-centime, black on blue.
"Georgia, 1919, 10-kopek blue.
" These are the sort of stamps the little boys buy in big packets.
No one would ever bother to put them on a list.
It could be a substitution code.
We can't crack that without a key book.
It could be a stamp catalog.
Hey, look, a Mauritius Penny in amongst all this lot.
1847, Red and inscribed "Post Office.
" Yeah, well, that could be the catalog that Peckham said he had in his hand when he was talking to Lord Matterley.
Now, Goodchild got it from Peckham.
What else have we got here? Some membership cards, diary, passport, membership cards to three strip clubs and a ticket for a Turkish bath.
Obviously a clean-living young man.
Six trips abroad in the last year.
- It could've been business trips.
- What sort of business? What kind of expense account would he have at Peckham's stamp shop? - That's true.
- What about the diary here? There's no name, no address.
Hey, here's an entry, and it's 3:00 PM today.
A Miss Sheila Gray, 33 Wimpole Street, W1.
We won't disappoint Miss Gray.
And what if Mr.
Goodchild and Miss Gray were close friends? If you wanted to contact me, would you write my full name and address in your diary? I don't keep a diary.
Oh.
Hmm.
Well, my guess is that Goodchild didn't know her.
You might be right.
I wonder what's happened to Peckham's stamp shop.
Hey, ho Toro, Freckles.
Yes.
No Peckham, no Goodchild.
Oh, it's that important, somebody must be keeping it up.
I wish I had time to go and have a look.
They're advertising, incidentally, in the window for an assistant.
They'll have a job getting one with their mortality rate.
Yeah.
Oh, well, somebody will go along.
They're advertising for either a man or a woman.
All right, Steed, you don't have to go on.
What's that? I just hope you're a little more subtle with Miss Gray.
Oh, Freckles, I'll never understand your sex.
(doorbell buzzes) Mr.
John Steed? Yes.
I'm Inspector Burke, CID.
Can I see you for a few minutes? Yes.
Go on in.
Sergeant, can you shut the door? Thank you.
I understand that you were at the Grosvenor auction rooms yesterday, sir.
Well, that's right.
- I take it you know why we're here? - No, not exactly.
In view of what happened at the auction rooms yesterday, sir, you know you should've stayed on there until the police arrived.
I don't know what you're talking about.
Just as I left, someone fainted.
- Is that what you're telling me? - Somebody fainted, sir? A man was shot in the back.
By the time we got there, someone had gone through his pockets.
There were a lot of people round the body.
Yes, sir, but they stayed near it, and you left.
It had nothing to do with me, and I was in a hurry.
Now look, if you want me to tell you what I saw, I'm very happy to make a statement, except I saw nothing.
I see, sir, but I'm afraid it isn't simple as all that.
I have a warrant here.
- I must ask you to let me search your flat.
- Why? Because the contents of the dead man's pockets are missing, sir.
- I've already told you - The search warrant, sir.
- So there's no alternative.
- I'm afraid there isn't, sir.
Where do you want to start, by searching my pockets? No, sir, that won't be necessary just yet.
We'll come to that later if we have to.
Now, sir, may I have your keys? Mm.
Thank you.
Do you keep any drawers or cupboards locked? Yeah, top right hand here at the desk.
I'll open it for you.
Here we are.
- I take it you have a license for this, sir? - Yes.
- And a certificate to cover the ammunition? - Yeah, they're in the drawer.
Anything else locked? Wine cupboard.
Oh, oh, please, be a bit careful, will you? - Why? - It's the sunlight.
Oh, yes.
That's a '49 Carménère.
It's coming along very nicely.
A most terrible year, though, '49 for Medoc.
Even the Haut-Brion was down.
Something to do with the limestone layer, I think.
If you'd just not It's just the light, you know.
All right.
I think that one's better than the Mouton.
It's a personal opinion, I think.
Would you mind if I just moved that one back? - That'll be all right, sir.
- Fine, thanks.
Sorry, old girl.
You'll be fed soon.
Not to worry.
I suppose you haven't the Dead Sea Scrolls or anything among this lot, have you? Ha ha.
No, you can't do much damage there.
I don't think there's anything earlier than 1600.
Hello, Sergeant.
Have a cigarette? I don't smoke, thank you, sir.
That's a very wise thing.
I'm trying to give it up myself.
Any idea who the dead man was? - I wouldn't know anything at all about that, sir.
- No.
Mm, I see you got the new issue.
Are they comfortable? Are what, sir? It's the first time I've seen a London bobby wearing shoes with toe caps.
Toe caps? Agh-hh! Afternoon, miss.
What can I do for you? Good afternoon.
I've come about the job.
Is Mr.
Peckham around? (vacuum running) (moans) Oh, turn it off.
Turn the thing off! What's that, Mr.
Steed? Will you please turn Oh, uh (vacuum turns off) Oh, now I can't clean the place if you're going to do that sort of thing.
I've been doing my best not to disturb you as it is.
That's very considerate of you, Elsie.
Now, can I do that bit now? I mean, have you finished your sleep? Yeah, that mighty Wurlitzer finished my sleep.
I I had a rather wild party.
Yes, I think you did, but I managed to tidy it up while you were sleeping it off.
Tidy it up? Yes.
Everything's all over the place.
Terrible mess it was.
Drawers pulled out your suits flung onto the floor.
I've never seen anything like it.
I must say, Mr.
Steed, I don't think much of your friends leaving the place like that and leaving you lying down there.
You're quite right.
I better get after them.
- Thank you, Elsie.
- Mr.
Steed.
- Yeah? - You've forgotten your coat.
What would I do without you, dear? - Oh, dear, what will you be forgetting next? - Feed the dog, will you? How does he keep it up? I don't know.
I have a very interesting new assistant.
Mm-hmm.
Do you know who it is? The girl at the auction.
Yeah.
I gave her the job.
Well, she's obviously up to something.
This is the best way of keeping an eye on her.
Mm-hmm.
This afternoon.
All right, seems a pity.
She's not bad-looking.
One more thing I've got the final instructions here from Paris.
Seems our friends in Norway and Denmark are starting operations same time as we do.
I'll read you the items.
You'll see what I mean.
"Ceylon, 1869, Ha'penny Brown.
"Greece, 1896, Olympic Games issue, perforated, one drachma, blue.
" Mm-hmm.
You don't have to look at your catalog to see what that means, do you? (bell jingles) Good afternoon.
Good afternoon.
Oh, hello.
How nice to see you again.
I didn't know you worked in a stamp shop.
I do hope you won't give me away.
How very intriguing.
What shouldn't I give away? That I bid £50 yesterday at the auction rooms.
My employer might think I was dealing in stamps myself.
- And are you? - No, no, no.
I was advising a friend.
The purchase was for him.
Oh, I see.
What a very tragic business that was yesterday.
You saw it all, I suppose.
Well, not really.
There were so many people.
I looked for you and your companion afterwards, but you'd both gone.
Yes.
He took me away rather quickly.
Oh, yes, quite right.
It must've been very upsetting.
To turn to a more pleasant topic, some months ago, Mr.
Peckham promised us some very fine Early Americans.
- I wondered if they'd arrived.
- I'm afraid I don't know.
- I-I better go and get Mr.
Brown, I think.
- Mr.
who? There's a Mr.
Brown looking after the shop while Mr.
Peckham's away.
Oh, yes.
I remember.
(banging) Um, there's a customer in the shop asking about some Early Americans.
I'm afraid I'm a bit out of my depth.
Are you? Well, don't let it worry you.
Can't expect you to know everything, can we? Dirty days yet.
Would you like to come along with me and listen? Oh, I thought I might be tidying up in here.
Oh, all right, just as you please.
If the courier comes for the case, get a receipt, won't you? Yes, I will.
(door closes) Now, these are the ones, I think, sir.
Mint Confederates.
Ah, now let's have a closer look.
I'm sorry I haven't been able to help you, sir.
That's quite all right.
You'll let me know about those Confederates, won't you? Oh, yes, of course, I'll get in touch - with some of the other dealers about them.
- Thank you very much.
Yes, I, uh, I won't keep you from your other customers.
- Thank you, sir.
Good day.
- Goodbye.
Now, then, young man, what can I do for you? Oh, you'll never do it with that, miss.
Here.
There you are.
This lot for the Grosvenor rooms, miss? - That's right.
Thank you very much.
- Right.
Oh, a bit of a weight here.
I better get my mate.
Right.
(bell jingles) Well, now we can stop pretending, can't we? Stay where you are.
They're coming back for the case.
That's right, and you won't make a sound, will you? Sit down.
Afternoon, guv'nor.
Here's your receipt.
Load of stuff going to the old Grosvenor rooms lately? Oh, yes, yes.
Put it on the desk, will you? Right.
Here we go, then.
Cheerio, miss.
Bye.
(indistinct chatter) All right.
Now, what's the game, huh? I might ask you the same question.
You might, but I've got this new Oh, sorry, guv.
My crowbar.
Almost forgot.
Cheer up, miss.
Bye-bye.
Oh, I'm very sorry, young lady.
The door was open.
It's all right.
It's never locked.
Who you looking for? - Miss Gray.
- Ah, then you've come to the right place.
- Have you an appointment? - Yes, I have.
3:00 PM.
My name's Goodchild.
Oh, yes, of course.
I'll let her know you're here.
Thank you very much.
Miss Gray is ready for you.
Oh, thank you.
Good afternoon, Mr.
Goodchild.
Oh, good afternoon, Miss Gray.
You can give your hat to Miss Power.
Thank you.
Here.
Well? Well If you are ready.
These things always make me a little nervous.
Do excuse my hesitancy, will you? Don't worry.
Just relax.
Thank you.
And have you been keeping well, Mr.
Goodchild? Life's been a bit hectic, you know, recently.
Oh.
But no recurrence of the old trouble, I hope.
The old trouble.
Oh, no, no, no.
- That's really quite gone.
- Oh, good.
Good.
Your dentist in Paris wrote and told me that things were improving.
Oh, by the way, I did explain that it will be quite a long time before I could fit in an appointment for you.
- Yes, they told me that.
- I'm so busy these days it's very difficult for me trying to fit in a new patient.
It must be, yes.
If you are ready Miss Power, will you take a charting? Open wide, please.
Upper right eight Present.
Upper right seven Sound.
Upper right six MOD cavity.
Sounds like a disaster area.
I'm sorry.
Oh, sound up to the upper left five, which is an occlusal filling present.
All right.
You can close now.
Thank you.
May I rinse? Oh, yes, Miss Power? Oh.
That is a rather unexpected complication, but I'm sure we can deal with this.
- Well, what's the verdict, eh? - Oh, they're pretty good.
Pretty good, just one minor cavity we might as well deal with while you are here.
Oh, that's a relief.
Oh, Miss Gray, I've just remembered You were supposed to phone the hospital at 3:00.
Would it be better to do it now before we start? Yes, perhaps I'd better.
Uh, would you excuse me, Mr.
Goodchild? Anything to put off the evil moment Miss Gray.
Miss Power will take care of you for a few moments.
That'll be a pleasure.
Auctioneer: Six pounds.
Six? Do I see six? Six pounds There's a telephone call for you, sir.
- Would you like to take it over there? - Eight pounds.
Eight.
Thank you.
Nine.
Nine pounds.
- Yes? - Gray speaking.
I've got a man here posing as Goodchild.
- Can you keep him there? - Yes.
Yes, I think I can manage to keep him here till you arrive.
I'll come immediately.
Leave him to me.
Bye-bye.
13.
£13.
(gargles) Make that a double, will you, Miss Power? That's very interesting.
Will you give me your solution to the problem? Compulsory dental inspection.
Any decent government would insist on that sort of thing.
People today can do exactly what they like in this country.
Terrible.
Oh, what country is Miss Gray from? She's British, of course.
Naturalized but all Brit I sorry to have kept you waiting, Mr.
Goodchild.
Not at all.
I've been having a fascinating political conversation.
Oh, good.
Well, now, let's deal with that cavity.
Right.
I don't think we shall bother about the Novocain.
You don't mind, do you? It's entirely up to you, Miss Gray.
No.
It's a very small cavity, and this is one of the new high-speed drills.
- You won't feel a thing.
Ready? - Right.
(drill whirring) Don't bother to open your mouth.
Just stay quite still.
I can kill you in a matter of seconds.
I'm afraid we were rather expecting a patient with distalling with gold inlay in upright two and a mesial cemented in upper left one And a buccal cohesive gold in upper right three.
Unfortunately for you, Mr.
Goodchild's teeth were quite different.
All right, Miss Power, we are ready now.
(grunts) (groans) Feeling better now? Who the devil are you? Well, I never - Oh, what house were you at? - Young's.
That's strange that we didn't run into each other.
Let me introduce myself.
My name's Gerald Shelley.
Oh, what a pity.
I was beginning to feel very worried about you.
According to Miss Gray, you should've recovered some time ago.
Unfortunately, she couldn't stay to attend to you.
Where is she? What's she doing, moving house or something? Well, she has an engagement elsewhere.
I brought that along for you.
Now, one, two questions.
How much do you know? I seem to have an MOD cavity in my Let's pop on to the next question.
How much have you been able to pass on to your associates? I've had a very tiring day.
My memory's affected.
Let's stimulate it for you.
What have we got here? The No.
Let's have these.
I was asking how much information you've been able to pass on.
You'll find out, all in good time.
That's not soon enough for me.
Now open your mouth, Mr.
Steed.
No? Aw, well.
If you want to go on breathing, open your mouth now.
Gah-hh! If I was you, guv, I'd change my dentist.
Man: What do we see when we look at the record of the last 17 years? !7 years ago, when this country knew its moment of victory, we were promised the millennium, and what did we get? Muzzle, vacillation, and ineptitude.
(cheering) (indistinct chatter) In Europe, it's the same story.
Everywhere the old democratic gang are back in power.
On the one hand, fomenting social dissention.
And on the other, growing fat on easy riches.
(others murmur agreement) This state of affairs should not be allowed to continue.
All over Europe, small groups of dedicated men have been working selflessly together towards a better day.
And now we know that we are on the threshold of that day.
(indistinct chatter) is during the moments just before launching an attack when we must be most prepared for an attack from our enemies.
Believe me, we are so prepared.
(cheering) When were you due here? Oh, not for another half-hour, guv.
Traffic was light, see? Uh-huh.
You know what this armband is? No.
I tell you, guv, I don't know nothing about him, except he was one of our best customers.
These packages you were supposed to collect where'd they come from? Well, he usually liked us to go down to his place on the coast.
He had a launch, see.
I thought he was fiddling the old customs.
You know, bring in this junk for his auction rooms, old clocks and that, without paying the duty.
What happened? Well, I wouldn't have never known any different, but one of these cases fell off the back of me lorry, see, and broke open.
Well, there was old muskets and antiques and all that inside, all right, but underneath, there was new rifles, 50 of them.
Why didn't you tell anybody this? Well, I was taking a bit of a cut, you know I see.
Would you like to take a bit of a cut in overtime for me tonight? Well, I don't suppose I'll be working for him again, will I? No, I don't suppose you will.
Now, you were gonna take this to the auctions rooms, weren't you? - Yeah.
- Let's not disappoint them.
Come on, give me a hand.
The right number of men organized in absolute secrecy Armed, coordinated, disciplined Can take over all the main organs of power in this country within a few hours.
I can't disclose, even to you, what that number should be, but believe me, we have twice the required commando strength ready to go into action.
All the others- All the others will follow once they're given our lead.
I have reason to believe that both we and our enemies are in for a big surprise.
Pleasant for us, but devastating for them.
(cheering) And we shall not be acting alone.
As you know, what is about to take place here will be taking place simultaneously in every capital in Western Europe.
And in a moment, I'm going to ask one of the delegates from abroad to give you a message of encouragement and support.
Not that we in this country need any assistance from our friends elsewhere.
Our greatest ally will be the English weekend.
By the time-By the time the generals and the politicians have come back from their country houses, we shall be in power.
(cheering) I told you before, my ticket has been stolen.
Only Major Gray can authorize entry.
Then let me see Major Gray.
I'll see what I can do.
You stay there.
(applause) (whispers, inaudible) Now it gives me- it gives me great pleasure to introduce the first of our delegates from abroad who will be speaking to you about combined operations in the Scandinavian countries.
- (knock on door) - (applause) Yes? Here's your last delivery, miss.
All right.
Bring it in and put it down here.
- Get your end, Charlie, will you? - Right, Bill.
(indistinct chatter) - Steady on.
- Right.
That's fine just here.
Yeah, if you will just sign here, miss.
Righto.
Ta.
- You can see Major Gray now.
- Thank you very much.
Man: And we in my country have experienced the same problems in which you had to contend, but we, too, are ready to take matters into our own hands.
Our preparations are now complete.
When the hour of action arrives, we shall be ready.
(cheering) This man says his ticket's been stolen.
- What is it, Brown? - My ticket was stolen.
- Who stole it? - Mrs.
Gale.
- A woman.
Where is she? - She's out there in the meeting.
All right.
You come, too.
And put that cigarette out when you are in uniform.
(overlapping chatter) Only the strong survive.
That's the natural path.
But we cannot, we must not allow this strong natural law to be subverted by a democracy which upholds the survival of the weakest.
(cheering) Working together, we can and we shall save the European peoples.
Although we have these reassurances of simultaneous action and support, it must be within ourselves that our true strength lies.
And it is within our own ranks that we must be ever vigilant for danger.
The enemy may always be within our midst.
Believe me, the enemy of the New Rule is the enemy of the New Britain, and we know how to deal with traitors! - (murmuring) - Hear, hear.
You better question her, Brown.
I believe it's one of your specialties.
Don't worry.
I'll make a thorough job of it.
In case she still proves to be too much for you, take this as well.
You ought to be all right now.
She's only a woman.
Turn her around.
A friend of yours would like to ask you some questions.
Please sit down, my dear.
I'm sure we all thank the delegate from the north of England for his encouraging report.
All over England, then, and all over Europe we are in, and to whom do we owe this future that will soon be ours? We owe it to the efforts of one man, the man whom until now, you have only known by his code name The Mauritius Penny.
Very soon, he will be with you in person.
(cheering) Now now I am going to call on the leader of the youth delegation to speak to you.
(knock on door) Sir.
Woman: of how much we owe to the men and women of 18 European countries for their courage and faith.
Someone who shouldn't have been here, sir.
Brown is doing the questioning now.
I tell the chairman that you are here, sir.
Our campaign will bring the youth of our countries (banging) They seem to have plenty of arms and ammunition.
The leader is a George Gerald Shelley.
He's the proprietor of the Grosvenor auction rooms, Old Etonian, ex-Guards officer.
The man knows the Mauritius Penny.
He hasn't revealed himself yet.
I'll call you back.
I don't even wish to know to whom you were speaking.
Nothing can stop us now.
I wouldn't be too sure of that, Lord Matterley.
You didn't really think you could take over this country with a few fanatic in fancy dress, did you? We intend to provide this country with the strong leadership it needs.
You may call that fanaticism.
To me, it is political inevitability.
I seem to have heard that somewhere before.
The New Rule owes nothing to what has gone before.
The basis of our movement is the return to the traditions that have made this country great.
My only regret is that two such capable people as yourselves should be in opposition to me.
I consider you both too talented to waste.
There could be a place for you in our organization.
Such as laid out in a packing case.
I seriously advise you to consider my offer.
I don't think we really need to consider anything you say.
Don't be too confident, Mr.
Steed.
The balance of power may be shifting.
Even now! No more tricks, Mr.
Steed.
I shall not hesitate to kill you.
This is the moment which we've all been waiting.
I now call upon Major Gray to introduce the Mauritius Penny.
There comes a time in the destiny of a nation when a man is born whose destiny is to rule.
Our leader is one of those men.
A combination of noble lineage and exceptional strength of character has produced the leader of the New Britain! (cheering and applause) - We're ready for you, sir.
- Fine.
Keep them here until the end of the meeting.
If they attempt to move, kill them.
And just this very moment, history is in the making.
The annals of the future will mark these crucial days as a turning point in the destiny of our nation.
It is now my proud privilege to introduce to you that man who, from tonight, who will take charge of that glorious destiny.
I have not had the pleasure of addressing you before.
You have been led to believe that a great day in British history has arrived.
But it is now my duty to inform you, owing to unforeseen developments the day of the New Rule must be postponed.
(throng murmurs) (vacuum running) Ah.
Ah, keeping the place clean, Elsie? Oh, just getting ready for another of your all-night parties, Mr.
Steed.
Steed, guess what this is.
Hey, Elsie, how did this get here? What's that? Oh, two men brought it in.
Ah.
That's very impressive.
Yeah.
This thing can do almost anything.
Oh.
Oh, uh, Elsie does your little boy collect stamps, eh? Mr.
Steed, you know perfectly well I'm not married.
Steed, you'll never believe me, but I think this is a British Guiana, 1856, four-cent black with four perfect margins.
(theme music playing)
It is unbelievable.
But I assure you, Your Lordship, I have this list in my hand.
It came in today's post, and it says here quite clearly "Mauritius Penny Red, 1847," and inscribed "Post Office.
" No, no, not the post-paid variety.
You have one of those yourself, haven't you? Yes, I know it's incredible.
It is like a miracle being offered a stamp like this.
Anyway, Your Lordship, if you're really interested, I'll get in touch with these people first thing tomorrow morning.
Paul, you gave me a real start.
Just one moment, Lord Matterley.
Excuse me.
Look here, my boy.
Someone's offered us a Mauritius Penny.
What are you doing? No.
You're mad! Goodchild! (ringing) (telephone ringing) The phone went on ringing for a couple of minutes.
- Nobody answered.
- So? I invited you around here 'cause I thought you might be interested.
Anyway, that thing's too heavy to lug around to your place.
Philately is one of your subjects, isn't it? Stamp collecting? Yes.
Let me hear that bit about the stamp again.
Mm-hmm.
Man: But I assure, Your Lordship, I have this list in my hand.
It came in today's post, and it says here quite clearly, "Mauritius Penny Red, 1847," and inscribed "Post Office.
" He must've misread that list he was talking about.
Why? Well, to have a stamp like that offered on a list is like seeing a Leonardo da Vinci painting advertised for sale on your local news agent's board.
You'd be surprised at the artwork my news agent sells.
There are only two specimens of that stamp in the world.
One is in the Carnegie Collection in America, the other's in the British Museum.
If a third had turned up somehow, it would only be sold by auction.
I see.
I, uh, suppose you feel quite justified in tapping an another man's telephone conversations.
Under the circumstances, yes.
About three months ago, a man was shot in Rome.
We knew he was on to something, but we never found out what it was because he died on the way to hospital.
But we found one unexplained object which was this envelope.
It's address to Mr.
Peckham, the man on the tape recording.
The odd thing about that telephone conversation is its abrupt ending.
It's as if someone else slammed the phone down for him.
Intriguing, isn't it? Well, I'm off to the little stamp shop.
- To see Peckham? - Well, I hope so.
Let me know what you find.
If you like.
Do you want a lift? - Oh, yes, please.
- (buzzing) Oh, have you got a couple of sixpences? I think I've got two threepennies.
- That's no good at all.
- What's that? It's my park pinger.
It'll be up in five minutes.
They're so hard around here, they'd even book a fire engine.
Oh, look, if we're quick, we'll be all right.
Come on, quick.
Look, sir, I can't waste any more of my time.
If you want cheap foreigns, this is the packet for you.
(bell dings) Sir, I've got to go now, so would you like to make up your mind? (doorbell jingles) Now if you're quite free, perhaps you can tell me why you killed Peckham.
Well, he found one of the lists.
- Did he know what it was about? - No.
At least I don't think so.
- Then why kill him? - Well, I You panicked, Goodchild.
There's no place for panic in the movement.
How did Peckham get hold of the list? The postman gave him the afternoon delivery in the street.
Well, Peckham may have been a doddering old fool, but this place made an excellent front for us.
I can still go on running it, can't I? I mean, it's only another four days to go, then it won't matter anymore.
We'll be in control by then.
The courts and the police and everything.
I very much hope so, but there's no telling who might start looking for the old man between now and then.
- (bell jingles) - Get back behind the counter.
(door closes) (office door closes) Good morning, sir.
Could I Could I help you? Oh, good morning, young man.
Indeed you can.
You got a very fine Early Americans here.
Oh, yes, we specialize in Americans.
I've got some mint Confederates if you care to see them.
Well, I'm mainly interested in Empires, but anything out of the ordinary you may have.
These Afghanistans, for instance.
Fine example of the Nadir Shah issue.
Oh, they're very common, sir.
Yes, but in excellent condition.
Excellent.
Excuse me.
Thank you very much.
Aha, Napoleon Ills.
I used to collect those when I was a boy.
Oh, That set cost £85 today, sir.
Goodness gracious me.
Prices have gone up since my time.
Yeah, you mentioned Empires, sir.
Would you care to have a look at what we've got? If you'd care to get them out.
I'll just browse around a little.
I'm not taking up too much of your time, am I, young man? - Oh, no, sir.
Not at all.
- Good.
We've not seen you here before, have we, sir? No.
I very rarely get to town, but a friend of mine said you usually had things of quite uncommon interest.
Lord Matterley.
You may know him.
Oh, yes, sir.
Mr.
Peckham usually deals with him.
Yes, Mr.
Peckham.
Lord Matterley often spoke about him.
Is he around? I'd very much like to meet him.
Mr.
Peckham? Mr.
Peckham is the proprietor, isn't he? Uh, yes.
He's away on holiday at the moment.
Oh, lucky Mr.
Peckham.
Where's he gone, then, abroad? Well, he didn't say where he was going, sir.
Oh, I think I've got the album here now, sir.
Yes, I shan't keep you waiting.
Do you have any further stock through here, young man? That's just the back room, sir.
There's nothing in there.
Terribly sorry.
Very rude of me.
Look, do let me give you a hand.
No, no, that's all right.
Thank you.
I can manage.
There's, um, nothing very distinguished, sir, but you may find something of interest to you.
That's the fascinating thing about philately.
You never know what you're going to find, do you? - No.
- May I just borrow? Oh, do, sir, yes.
Aha.
Yes.
No, nothing that would really suit me, I'm afraid.
No, sir.
Well, as I say, Empires aren't really our strong point.
Hard luck, hard luck But I believe Mr.
Peckham managed to purchase a Maltese Tuppenny Blue last week.
That sounds very interesting.
Oh, I've just remembered.
Mr.
Peckham sold it.
But I've heard a rumor there's another specimen on for sale at today's Today's auction.
Oh, today's auction.
So sorry.
You think that I should go along, then? I think you might find it very interesting, sir.
Indeed I'll take your advice.
Thank you very much.
You know, speaking of being Thank you, young man.
Ooh.
By the way, I see you're advertising for an assistant.
- Are you leaving? - Leaving, sir? Yes.
You have an assistant advertised there.
Oh, yes.
That's Mr.
Peckham's notice.
I was leaving, but, of course, I'm running the place now.
- Keeping it warm while he's away, eh? - Uh, yes.
Let's hope he gets very good weather.
It's been the most terrible summer, don't you think? - It has, sir, yes.
- How long is he away for? Uh, I don't know.
Surely you must have some idea.
Oh, yes, of course.
Uh, about a fortnight.
I see.
Let's hope he appreciates all you've been doing, young man.
Goodbye.
Goodbye, sir.
(door opens) Who was he? I don't know.
Your trick question about the Maltese Tuppenny Blue may have seemed brilliant to you, but when he finds out that no such stamps exists, he'll begin to wonder why.
- Did that occur to you? - No, I never thought of that.
He told him he might pick up a Maltese Blue at the auction room.
You better be there, too, to point him out to me - if he shows up.
- What will you do? I'll speak to Brown.
Brown? You sound very squeamish all of a sudden.
It was your blunder.
You killed Peckham.
You gave me the gun.
I can see I shall have to help you for the sake of us all.
You got a hammer? Yes, here.
This is the stuff for my local branch.
It only arrived this morning.
They're going back.
Come on, give me a hand to unload them.
- Now look here - Oh, shut up.
Auctioneer: Five.
Five pounds.
Am I bid five pounds? Five? Five pounds.
Six? Do I see six? Six in the center.
Thank you.
Seven.
Seven pounds.
Seven pounds.
Eight? Eight? Eight on my right.
Nine.
Nine pounds? Nine pounds.
Ten? Ten pounds.
Ten on the left.
Thank you.
11? £11 in the front.
11.
12? £12? £12.
£12.
Is that all I'm bid? £12.
£12.
(bangs gavel) Sold for £12 to Mr.
Nash.
Ah, Brown.
A rush job, I'm afraid.
- Can't be helped.
- He'll be in the auction room.
I want you to persuade him to go with you.
- Take him in there.
- Mm-hmm.
Who is it? He hasn't arrived yet.
I'll point him out to you.
Good, good.
Am I bid more than eight? Eight pounds.
Sold to Mr.
Glover for eight pounds.
Lot ten for ten pounds.
Ten pounds.
May I see ten pounds? Ten pounds.
Ten pounds.
I'm bid ten pounds on my left.
11? 12.
£12.
14 at the back.
14.
£16.
16.
Thank you.
16.
£18.
18 on the left.
20.
20? 18? 18? Do I see 18? Yes, thank you.
£18.
£18.
£18.
Is that it? £25.
£25.
I'm bid £25.
£25.
25? - (gavel raps) - Sold for 25.
You got that? Now lot 32.
Lot 32.
Do I see ten pounds? Ten pounds? Ten pounds.
Thank you.
15? 15? £15 in the center.
20? £20.
£20 on my left.
25? 25 at the back.
30? £30? £30? 30, thank you.
35? 35 in front.
40? 40? 40.
45? £45 at the back.
45.
50.
Do I see 50? £50 by the door.
Thank you.
£50? £50.
Is that all I'm bid? £50.
- (gavel bangs) - Sold for £50.
Now lot 33.
33.
- Do I see five pounds? - Congratulations.
You're now the proud owner of the late Major Wilder's entire stamp collection in 25 albums for a mere £50.
- What? - Well, there they all are.
I must go and explain to the auctioneer.
We don't want to draw attention to ourselves.
It doesn't happen to be your £50.
Don't worry.
I'll settle it.
Oh, I think this young gentleman here wants to talk to you.
Excuse me, madam.
Will you take your purchase with you or shall we deliver it? Well, I hadn't really thought Go fine with that fine Edwardian furniture of yours.
But you might even get rid of the furniture.
Could you deliver them? They are a bit bulky, these old collections.
If you'd write your name and address in here, we'll send them round to you.
Thank you.
If you'll forgive me saying so, that was a very shrewd bid.
You never know what you may find in these old collections.
Thank you, it seems I arrived just in time.
It isn't often one has the good fortune to see an attractive young lady - with an interest in philately.
- That's what drew us together.
- Really.
- Thank you.
Thank you, madam, would you like to pay now? It's the usual rule.
Don't worry.
I'll settle that, thank you.
It's very good of your, sir, but normally the auctioneer That's all right.
I'll vouch for the check.
Extremely kind of you.
Who shall I make it out to? Grosvenor Auction Rooms Limited.
Grosvenor Auction Rooms Limited.
I'm sorry, Lord Matterley.
I didn't realize that gentleman was a friend of yours.
Quite all right.
£200.
200.
Terrible writing.
It's a little wet.
Thank you.
Thank you, sir.
All right, then, madam.
We'll send these round to 5 Westminster Mews, SW1, - first thing tomorrow morning.
- Thank you.
My address.
Thank you very much.
I'm very much obliged to you, Lord Matterley.
- All sorted out now? - Yeah, it's all sorted out.
Don't you know a Mr.
Peckham? He has a little shop in South London.
Yes.
I've been dealing with him for years.
Do you find him useful? From time to time, but I was down there this morning.
Oh, really? Cigar? Uh, no, thank you.
I only deal with him by post.
I've been meaning to call on him for years.
Well, I shouldn't call on him just right now because he's on fortnight's holiday.
How very strange.
Peckham was on the telephone to me late last night.
He said nothing about going on holiday.
We were cut off.
No? Lot 35.
35.
Do I see five pounds? Excuse me.
This is the lot I'm really after.
Of course.
Is that all I'm bid, £50? £50.
- (gavel raps) - Sold for £50.
You'll be able to use these to brush up your knowledge.
The world's rare stamps won't do all the time.
Yes, very considerate of you.
Lord Matterley seemed surprised that Peckham was on holiday.
Peckham had better get back quick 'cause his assistant tried to sell me - a Maltese Tuppenny Blue.
- There's no such stamp.
Yeah, I know, I checked.
He said to be at this auction and a Maltese Tuppenny Blue would be up for sale.
I suppose he knew what he was saying.
He knew what he was saying, all right.
Six? Six pounds? Six pounds.
Seven? Seven? Do I see seven pounds? Seven pounds.
Eight pounds.
Nine? That gentleman over there, has he been bidding? Uh, no, sir, but the lady with him made a purchase.
Lord Matterley guaranteed their check.
Let me see the delivery book.
Ten pounds.
- (raps gavel) - Thank you.
Sold to Mr.
White for ten pounds.
- Uh, now lots thirty - Lost that one.
- Oh, sorry.
- Aren't you bidding anymore? - No, not at the moment.
- (pinger buzzes) May I impose on your hospitality again, Lord Matterley? Do you have a few sixpences, please? Uh They're for my parking meter.
I've already had one ticket this morning.
Thank you so much.
- I'm afraid I only have one.
- That's all right.
- Have you another one, my dear? - No.
- Oh.
- Now lot 37.
- Ah.
Now, this should be really interesting.
- Good luck.
This is the most important single item we have in the sale today.
An unperforated 1857 Ceylon Ninepenny Brown.
There's four clear margins, and I'm starting the bidding £500.
£500.
Am I bid 500? 500.
550? 550.
600? £600.
Thank you.
I see 600.
Can I ask for 700? 700? 700.
I see seven.
800? Can I ask for £800? - Excuse me.
- Do I see 800? Not even gonna blow my nose this time.
I see £800.
900.
£900.
- Come with me, Goodchild.
- What for? You know what for.
Come on.
No.
£900? I ask again.
Do I see £900? £900.
Should I go £900? £1,000.
£1,000.
£1,000.
This is your last chance.
I'm not leaving here.
I haven't done anything.
£1,000 for a single stamp? It does have four perfect margins.
Yeah, I was forgetting.
£1,000.
Do I get any advance on £1,000? £1,000.
Then it's going, going - (gavel bangs) - (gunshot) £100.
- Thank you.
- Someone appears to have fainted.
I'm not surprised at these prices.
I'll take a look.
Lot 39.
Excuse me.
Thank you.
12? £12.
Thanks.
13? £13.
"The peaceful, law-abiding world of philately" was stunned yesterday afternoon when an unknown man was shot dead at a West End auction room.
Just as bidding reached the record-breaking figure of £1,000, murder made the final bid.
" Ooh.
Huh.
A puzzling feature of the crime was who picked the dead man's pockets? What's that? The list of stamps from Pellerin et Fils, Paris.
This will be one of the lists that stamp dealers send to one another saying what they want to dispose of and what they're looking out for for their special clients.
They send them out regularly.
Hey, but listen.
"Inauguration of New Delhi, 1931 issue," one-anna, mauve and brown.
Martinique, 1892, one-centime, black on blue.
"Georgia, 1919, 10-kopek blue.
" These are the sort of stamps the little boys buy in big packets.
No one would ever bother to put them on a list.
It could be a substitution code.
We can't crack that without a key book.
It could be a stamp catalog.
Hey, look, a Mauritius Penny in amongst all this lot.
1847, Red and inscribed "Post Office.
" Yeah, well, that could be the catalog that Peckham said he had in his hand when he was talking to Lord Matterley.
Now, Goodchild got it from Peckham.
What else have we got here? Some membership cards, diary, passport, membership cards to three strip clubs and a ticket for a Turkish bath.
Obviously a clean-living young man.
Six trips abroad in the last year.
- It could've been business trips.
- What sort of business? What kind of expense account would he have at Peckham's stamp shop? - That's true.
- What about the diary here? There's no name, no address.
Hey, here's an entry, and it's 3:00 PM today.
A Miss Sheila Gray, 33 Wimpole Street, W1.
We won't disappoint Miss Gray.
And what if Mr.
Goodchild and Miss Gray were close friends? If you wanted to contact me, would you write my full name and address in your diary? I don't keep a diary.
Oh.
Hmm.
Well, my guess is that Goodchild didn't know her.
You might be right.
I wonder what's happened to Peckham's stamp shop.
Hey, ho Toro, Freckles.
Yes.
No Peckham, no Goodchild.
Oh, it's that important, somebody must be keeping it up.
I wish I had time to go and have a look.
They're advertising, incidentally, in the window for an assistant.
They'll have a job getting one with their mortality rate.
Yeah.
Oh, well, somebody will go along.
They're advertising for either a man or a woman.
All right, Steed, you don't have to go on.
What's that? I just hope you're a little more subtle with Miss Gray.
Oh, Freckles, I'll never understand your sex.
(doorbell buzzes) Mr.
John Steed? Yes.
I'm Inspector Burke, CID.
Can I see you for a few minutes? Yes.
Go on in.
Sergeant, can you shut the door? Thank you.
I understand that you were at the Grosvenor auction rooms yesterday, sir.
Well, that's right.
- I take it you know why we're here? - No, not exactly.
In view of what happened at the auction rooms yesterday, sir, you know you should've stayed on there until the police arrived.
I don't know what you're talking about.
Just as I left, someone fainted.
- Is that what you're telling me? - Somebody fainted, sir? A man was shot in the back.
By the time we got there, someone had gone through his pockets.
There were a lot of people round the body.
Yes, sir, but they stayed near it, and you left.
It had nothing to do with me, and I was in a hurry.
Now look, if you want me to tell you what I saw, I'm very happy to make a statement, except I saw nothing.
I see, sir, but I'm afraid it isn't simple as all that.
I have a warrant here.
- I must ask you to let me search your flat.
- Why? Because the contents of the dead man's pockets are missing, sir.
- I've already told you - The search warrant, sir.
- So there's no alternative.
- I'm afraid there isn't, sir.
Where do you want to start, by searching my pockets? No, sir, that won't be necessary just yet.
We'll come to that later if we have to.
Now, sir, may I have your keys? Mm.
Thank you.
Do you keep any drawers or cupboards locked? Yeah, top right hand here at the desk.
I'll open it for you.
Here we are.
- I take it you have a license for this, sir? - Yes.
- And a certificate to cover the ammunition? - Yeah, they're in the drawer.
Anything else locked? Wine cupboard.
Oh, oh, please, be a bit careful, will you? - Why? - It's the sunlight.
Oh, yes.
That's a '49 Carménère.
It's coming along very nicely.
A most terrible year, though, '49 for Medoc.
Even the Haut-Brion was down.
Something to do with the limestone layer, I think.
If you'd just not It's just the light, you know.
All right.
I think that one's better than the Mouton.
It's a personal opinion, I think.
Would you mind if I just moved that one back? - That'll be all right, sir.
- Fine, thanks.
Sorry, old girl.
You'll be fed soon.
Not to worry.
I suppose you haven't the Dead Sea Scrolls or anything among this lot, have you? Ha ha.
No, you can't do much damage there.
I don't think there's anything earlier than 1600.
Hello, Sergeant.
Have a cigarette? I don't smoke, thank you, sir.
That's a very wise thing.
I'm trying to give it up myself.
Any idea who the dead man was? - I wouldn't know anything at all about that, sir.
- No.
Mm, I see you got the new issue.
Are they comfortable? Are what, sir? It's the first time I've seen a London bobby wearing shoes with toe caps.
Toe caps? Agh-hh! Afternoon, miss.
What can I do for you? Good afternoon.
I've come about the job.
Is Mr.
Peckham around? (vacuum running) (moans) Oh, turn it off.
Turn the thing off! What's that, Mr.
Steed? Will you please turn Oh, uh (vacuum turns off) Oh, now I can't clean the place if you're going to do that sort of thing.
I've been doing my best not to disturb you as it is.
That's very considerate of you, Elsie.
Now, can I do that bit now? I mean, have you finished your sleep? Yeah, that mighty Wurlitzer finished my sleep.
I I had a rather wild party.
Yes, I think you did, but I managed to tidy it up while you were sleeping it off.
Tidy it up? Yes.
Everything's all over the place.
Terrible mess it was.
Drawers pulled out your suits flung onto the floor.
I've never seen anything like it.
I must say, Mr.
Steed, I don't think much of your friends leaving the place like that and leaving you lying down there.
You're quite right.
I better get after them.
- Thank you, Elsie.
- Mr.
Steed.
- Yeah? - You've forgotten your coat.
What would I do without you, dear? - Oh, dear, what will you be forgetting next? - Feed the dog, will you? How does he keep it up? I don't know.
I have a very interesting new assistant.
Mm-hmm.
Do you know who it is? The girl at the auction.
Yeah.
I gave her the job.
Well, she's obviously up to something.
This is the best way of keeping an eye on her.
Mm-hmm.
This afternoon.
All right, seems a pity.
She's not bad-looking.
One more thing I've got the final instructions here from Paris.
Seems our friends in Norway and Denmark are starting operations same time as we do.
I'll read you the items.
You'll see what I mean.
"Ceylon, 1869, Ha'penny Brown.
"Greece, 1896, Olympic Games issue, perforated, one drachma, blue.
" Mm-hmm.
You don't have to look at your catalog to see what that means, do you? (bell jingles) Good afternoon.
Good afternoon.
Oh, hello.
How nice to see you again.
I didn't know you worked in a stamp shop.
I do hope you won't give me away.
How very intriguing.
What shouldn't I give away? That I bid £50 yesterday at the auction rooms.
My employer might think I was dealing in stamps myself.
- And are you? - No, no, no.
I was advising a friend.
The purchase was for him.
Oh, I see.
What a very tragic business that was yesterday.
You saw it all, I suppose.
Well, not really.
There were so many people.
I looked for you and your companion afterwards, but you'd both gone.
Yes.
He took me away rather quickly.
Oh, yes, quite right.
It must've been very upsetting.
To turn to a more pleasant topic, some months ago, Mr.
Peckham promised us some very fine Early Americans.
- I wondered if they'd arrived.
- I'm afraid I don't know.
- I-I better go and get Mr.
Brown, I think.
- Mr.
who? There's a Mr.
Brown looking after the shop while Mr.
Peckham's away.
Oh, yes.
I remember.
(banging) Um, there's a customer in the shop asking about some Early Americans.
I'm afraid I'm a bit out of my depth.
Are you? Well, don't let it worry you.
Can't expect you to know everything, can we? Dirty days yet.
Would you like to come along with me and listen? Oh, I thought I might be tidying up in here.
Oh, all right, just as you please.
If the courier comes for the case, get a receipt, won't you? Yes, I will.
(door closes) Now, these are the ones, I think, sir.
Mint Confederates.
Ah, now let's have a closer look.
I'm sorry I haven't been able to help you, sir.
That's quite all right.
You'll let me know about those Confederates, won't you? Oh, yes, of course, I'll get in touch - with some of the other dealers about them.
- Thank you very much.
Yes, I, uh, I won't keep you from your other customers.
- Thank you, sir.
Good day.
- Goodbye.
Now, then, young man, what can I do for you? Oh, you'll never do it with that, miss.
Here.
There you are.
This lot for the Grosvenor rooms, miss? - That's right.
Thank you very much.
- Right.
Oh, a bit of a weight here.
I better get my mate.
Right.
(bell jingles) Well, now we can stop pretending, can't we? Stay where you are.
They're coming back for the case.
That's right, and you won't make a sound, will you? Sit down.
Afternoon, guv'nor.
Here's your receipt.
Load of stuff going to the old Grosvenor rooms lately? Oh, yes, yes.
Put it on the desk, will you? Right.
Here we go, then.
Cheerio, miss.
Bye.
(indistinct chatter) All right.
Now, what's the game, huh? I might ask you the same question.
You might, but I've got this new Oh, sorry, guv.
My crowbar.
Almost forgot.
Cheer up, miss.
Bye-bye.
Oh, I'm very sorry, young lady.
The door was open.
It's all right.
It's never locked.
Who you looking for? - Miss Gray.
- Ah, then you've come to the right place.
- Have you an appointment? - Yes, I have.
3:00 PM.
My name's Goodchild.
Oh, yes, of course.
I'll let her know you're here.
Thank you very much.
Miss Gray is ready for you.
Oh, thank you.
Good afternoon, Mr.
Goodchild.
Oh, good afternoon, Miss Gray.
You can give your hat to Miss Power.
Thank you.
Here.
Well? Well If you are ready.
These things always make me a little nervous.
Do excuse my hesitancy, will you? Don't worry.
Just relax.
Thank you.
And have you been keeping well, Mr.
Goodchild? Life's been a bit hectic, you know, recently.
Oh.
But no recurrence of the old trouble, I hope.
The old trouble.
Oh, no, no, no.
- That's really quite gone.
- Oh, good.
Good.
Your dentist in Paris wrote and told me that things were improving.
Oh, by the way, I did explain that it will be quite a long time before I could fit in an appointment for you.
- Yes, they told me that.
- I'm so busy these days it's very difficult for me trying to fit in a new patient.
It must be, yes.
If you are ready Miss Power, will you take a charting? Open wide, please.
Upper right eight Present.
Upper right seven Sound.
Upper right six MOD cavity.
Sounds like a disaster area.
I'm sorry.
Oh, sound up to the upper left five, which is an occlusal filling present.
All right.
You can close now.
Thank you.
May I rinse? Oh, yes, Miss Power? Oh.
That is a rather unexpected complication, but I'm sure we can deal with this.
- Well, what's the verdict, eh? - Oh, they're pretty good.
Pretty good, just one minor cavity we might as well deal with while you are here.
Oh, that's a relief.
Oh, Miss Gray, I've just remembered You were supposed to phone the hospital at 3:00.
Would it be better to do it now before we start? Yes, perhaps I'd better.
Uh, would you excuse me, Mr.
Goodchild? Anything to put off the evil moment Miss Gray.
Miss Power will take care of you for a few moments.
That'll be a pleasure.
Auctioneer: Six pounds.
Six? Do I see six? Six pounds There's a telephone call for you, sir.
- Would you like to take it over there? - Eight pounds.
Eight.
Thank you.
Nine.
Nine pounds.
- Yes? - Gray speaking.
I've got a man here posing as Goodchild.
- Can you keep him there? - Yes.
Yes, I think I can manage to keep him here till you arrive.
I'll come immediately.
Leave him to me.
Bye-bye.
13.
£13.
(gargles) Make that a double, will you, Miss Power? That's very interesting.
Will you give me your solution to the problem? Compulsory dental inspection.
Any decent government would insist on that sort of thing.
People today can do exactly what they like in this country.
Terrible.
Oh, what country is Miss Gray from? She's British, of course.
Naturalized but all Brit I sorry to have kept you waiting, Mr.
Goodchild.
Not at all.
I've been having a fascinating political conversation.
Oh, good.
Well, now, let's deal with that cavity.
Right.
I don't think we shall bother about the Novocain.
You don't mind, do you? It's entirely up to you, Miss Gray.
No.
It's a very small cavity, and this is one of the new high-speed drills.
- You won't feel a thing.
Ready? - Right.
(drill whirring) Don't bother to open your mouth.
Just stay quite still.
I can kill you in a matter of seconds.
I'm afraid we were rather expecting a patient with distalling with gold inlay in upright two and a mesial cemented in upper left one And a buccal cohesive gold in upper right three.
Unfortunately for you, Mr.
Goodchild's teeth were quite different.
All right, Miss Power, we are ready now.
(grunts) (groans) Feeling better now? Who the devil are you? Well, I never - Oh, what house were you at? - Young's.
That's strange that we didn't run into each other.
Let me introduce myself.
My name's Gerald Shelley.
Oh, what a pity.
I was beginning to feel very worried about you.
According to Miss Gray, you should've recovered some time ago.
Unfortunately, she couldn't stay to attend to you.
Where is she? What's she doing, moving house or something? Well, she has an engagement elsewhere.
I brought that along for you.
Now, one, two questions.
How much do you know? I seem to have an MOD cavity in my Let's pop on to the next question.
How much have you been able to pass on to your associates? I've had a very tiring day.
My memory's affected.
Let's stimulate it for you.
What have we got here? The No.
Let's have these.
I was asking how much information you've been able to pass on.
You'll find out, all in good time.
That's not soon enough for me.
Now open your mouth, Mr.
Steed.
No? Aw, well.
If you want to go on breathing, open your mouth now.
Gah-hh! If I was you, guv, I'd change my dentist.
Man: What do we see when we look at the record of the last 17 years? !7 years ago, when this country knew its moment of victory, we were promised the millennium, and what did we get? Muzzle, vacillation, and ineptitude.
(cheering) (indistinct chatter) In Europe, it's the same story.
Everywhere the old democratic gang are back in power.
On the one hand, fomenting social dissention.
And on the other, growing fat on easy riches.
(others murmur agreement) This state of affairs should not be allowed to continue.
All over Europe, small groups of dedicated men have been working selflessly together towards a better day.
And now we know that we are on the threshold of that day.
(indistinct chatter) is during the moments just before launching an attack when we must be most prepared for an attack from our enemies.
Believe me, we are so prepared.
(cheering) When were you due here? Oh, not for another half-hour, guv.
Traffic was light, see? Uh-huh.
You know what this armband is? No.
I tell you, guv, I don't know nothing about him, except he was one of our best customers.
These packages you were supposed to collect where'd they come from? Well, he usually liked us to go down to his place on the coast.
He had a launch, see.
I thought he was fiddling the old customs.
You know, bring in this junk for his auction rooms, old clocks and that, without paying the duty.
What happened? Well, I wouldn't have never known any different, but one of these cases fell off the back of me lorry, see, and broke open.
Well, there was old muskets and antiques and all that inside, all right, but underneath, there was new rifles, 50 of them.
Why didn't you tell anybody this? Well, I was taking a bit of a cut, you know I see.
Would you like to take a bit of a cut in overtime for me tonight? Well, I don't suppose I'll be working for him again, will I? No, I don't suppose you will.
Now, you were gonna take this to the auctions rooms, weren't you? - Yeah.
- Let's not disappoint them.
Come on, give me a hand.
The right number of men organized in absolute secrecy Armed, coordinated, disciplined Can take over all the main organs of power in this country within a few hours.
I can't disclose, even to you, what that number should be, but believe me, we have twice the required commando strength ready to go into action.
All the others- All the others will follow once they're given our lead.
I have reason to believe that both we and our enemies are in for a big surprise.
Pleasant for us, but devastating for them.
(cheering) And we shall not be acting alone.
As you know, what is about to take place here will be taking place simultaneously in every capital in Western Europe.
And in a moment, I'm going to ask one of the delegates from abroad to give you a message of encouragement and support.
Not that we in this country need any assistance from our friends elsewhere.
Our greatest ally will be the English weekend.
By the time-By the time the generals and the politicians have come back from their country houses, we shall be in power.
(cheering) I told you before, my ticket has been stolen.
Only Major Gray can authorize entry.
Then let me see Major Gray.
I'll see what I can do.
You stay there.
(applause) (whispers, inaudible) Now it gives me- it gives me great pleasure to introduce the first of our delegates from abroad who will be speaking to you about combined operations in the Scandinavian countries.
- (knock on door) - (applause) Yes? Here's your last delivery, miss.
All right.
Bring it in and put it down here.
- Get your end, Charlie, will you? - Right, Bill.
(indistinct chatter) - Steady on.
- Right.
That's fine just here.
Yeah, if you will just sign here, miss.
Righto.
Ta.
- You can see Major Gray now.
- Thank you very much.
Man: And we in my country have experienced the same problems in which you had to contend, but we, too, are ready to take matters into our own hands.
Our preparations are now complete.
When the hour of action arrives, we shall be ready.
(cheering) This man says his ticket's been stolen.
- What is it, Brown? - My ticket was stolen.
- Who stole it? - Mrs.
Gale.
- A woman.
Where is she? - She's out there in the meeting.
All right.
You come, too.
And put that cigarette out when you are in uniform.
(overlapping chatter) Only the strong survive.
That's the natural path.
But we cannot, we must not allow this strong natural law to be subverted by a democracy which upholds the survival of the weakest.
(cheering) Working together, we can and we shall save the European peoples.
Although we have these reassurances of simultaneous action and support, it must be within ourselves that our true strength lies.
And it is within our own ranks that we must be ever vigilant for danger.
The enemy may always be within our midst.
Believe me, the enemy of the New Rule is the enemy of the New Britain, and we know how to deal with traitors! - (murmuring) - Hear, hear.
You better question her, Brown.
I believe it's one of your specialties.
Don't worry.
I'll make a thorough job of it.
In case she still proves to be too much for you, take this as well.
You ought to be all right now.
She's only a woman.
Turn her around.
A friend of yours would like to ask you some questions.
Please sit down, my dear.
I'm sure we all thank the delegate from the north of England for his encouraging report.
All over England, then, and all over Europe we are in, and to whom do we owe this future that will soon be ours? We owe it to the efforts of one man, the man whom until now, you have only known by his code name The Mauritius Penny.
Very soon, he will be with you in person.
(cheering) Now now I am going to call on the leader of the youth delegation to speak to you.
(knock on door) Sir.
Woman: of how much we owe to the men and women of 18 European countries for their courage and faith.
Someone who shouldn't have been here, sir.
Brown is doing the questioning now.
I tell the chairman that you are here, sir.
Our campaign will bring the youth of our countries (banging) They seem to have plenty of arms and ammunition.
The leader is a George Gerald Shelley.
He's the proprietor of the Grosvenor auction rooms, Old Etonian, ex-Guards officer.
The man knows the Mauritius Penny.
He hasn't revealed himself yet.
I'll call you back.
I don't even wish to know to whom you were speaking.
Nothing can stop us now.
I wouldn't be too sure of that, Lord Matterley.
You didn't really think you could take over this country with a few fanatic in fancy dress, did you? We intend to provide this country with the strong leadership it needs.
You may call that fanaticism.
To me, it is political inevitability.
I seem to have heard that somewhere before.
The New Rule owes nothing to what has gone before.
The basis of our movement is the return to the traditions that have made this country great.
My only regret is that two such capable people as yourselves should be in opposition to me.
I consider you both too talented to waste.
There could be a place for you in our organization.
Such as laid out in a packing case.
I seriously advise you to consider my offer.
I don't think we really need to consider anything you say.
Don't be too confident, Mr.
Steed.
The balance of power may be shifting.
Even now! No more tricks, Mr.
Steed.
I shall not hesitate to kill you.
This is the moment which we've all been waiting.
I now call upon Major Gray to introduce the Mauritius Penny.
There comes a time in the destiny of a nation when a man is born whose destiny is to rule.
Our leader is one of those men.
A combination of noble lineage and exceptional strength of character has produced the leader of the New Britain! (cheering and applause) - We're ready for you, sir.
- Fine.
Keep them here until the end of the meeting.
If they attempt to move, kill them.
And just this very moment, history is in the making.
The annals of the future will mark these crucial days as a turning point in the destiny of our nation.
It is now my proud privilege to introduce to you that man who, from tonight, who will take charge of that glorious destiny.
I have not had the pleasure of addressing you before.
You have been led to believe that a great day in British history has arrived.
But it is now my duty to inform you, owing to unforeseen developments the day of the New Rule must be postponed.
(throng murmurs) (vacuum running) Ah.
Ah, keeping the place clean, Elsie? Oh, just getting ready for another of your all-night parties, Mr.
Steed.
Steed, guess what this is.
Hey, Elsie, how did this get here? What's that? Oh, two men brought it in.
Ah.
That's very impressive.
Yeah.
This thing can do almost anything.
Oh.
Oh, uh, Elsie does your little boy collect stamps, eh? Mr.
Steed, you know perfectly well I'm not married.
Steed, you'll never believe me, but I think this is a British Guiana, 1856, four-cent black with four perfect margins.
(theme music playing)