The Fall Guy (1981) s02e07 Episode Script
A Piece of Cake
(FINGERS SNAPPING) COLT: # Well, I'm hot the kind to kiss and tell But I've been seen with Farrah # I've never been with anything less than a nine, so fine! # I've been on fire with Sally Field Gone fast with a girl named Bo # But somehow they just don't end up as mine # It's a death-defying life I lead I take my chances # I die for a livin' in the movies and TV # But the hardest thing I ever do is watch my leading ladies # Kiss some other guy while I'm bandaging my knee # I might fall from a tall building I might roll a brand-new car # 'Cause I'm the unknown stuntman that made Redford such a star (FINGERS SNAPPING) # I've never spent much time in school But I taught ladies plenty # It's true I hire my body out for pay # Hey, hey # I've gotten burned over Cheryl Tiegs Blown up for Raquel Welch # But when I wind up in the hay It's only hay # Hey, hey # I might jump an open drawbridge Or Tarzan from a vine # 'Cause I'm the unknown stuntman that makes Eastwood look so fine # - Ready? - Here he comes! HOWIE: Easy, Colt! - Faster! - Okay.
Oh, my God! DIRECTOR: Cut! That's a print! Wow, Colt, that was terrific! Look at this car.
- Are you okay, Colt? - I think I bit my lip.
- Nice stunt, Colt.
- Thank you.
Now, listen.
Like I was telling you.
This is the easiest thing you were ever handed.
This is a walk-through.
It's a piece of cake.
Colt! Colt Look at me, Colt.
- I'm seducing you.
- A girl like me wouldn't stand a chance.
Seduce me.
$2,000 for a fast round trip with the pussycat of all runaways.
Plus, a great rummy player for the trip back.
Well, if it's so easy, why don't you do it yourself? Because Swifty Leonard hangs out in some pretty unladylike places.
Swifty Leonard? He's a friend of mine.
I've known him for years.
I know that, but he's still a bookmaker.
There's a big difference between bookmakers and fugitives.
Now, Swifty isn't running.
He's got a successful business to come back to, here.
Yeah.
Successful, but illegal.
Colt, $2,000 is five months' rent, or nine-and-a-half utility payments.
Or 1,280 hamburgers.
Colt, five hours each way, a couple hours between airports.
Sixteen hours.
Eighteen at the most.
That's over $100 an hour.
How many people you know make that kind of money? Do you think it's the economy, or just colt's choice of friends? Plus, I can tell you exactly where Swifty is, what he'll be doing and almost how much he's losing.
He calls me every day, and tells me not to worry.
- Then why are you worried? - He calls collect.
Colt, Colt, I'll drive you to your house to pack.
I'll even drive you to the airport.
Come OH, SEDUCE THE some more.
Howdy.
Cowboy.
If you're looking for the bright lights, they don't come on till after dark.
You drive this thing, or just peddle bits of wisdom? - I'm looking for a ride to Manhattan.
- Hey, you got it! My meterâs broken.
But we can estimate.
I'll treat you fair.
You ever been to New York before? Nope.
But I didnât just fall off the turnip truck, either.
Hey, guy.
You want to deal wholesale? Well, why not? The last offer sounded more like a kidnapping.
Yeah, well, that dude's in hustling for a living.
Now me, I'm only in action part time.
Twenty-five bucks, two bucks a phone call and you can ride in the back of a dream hearse.
How about a flat rate for a round trip with an hour wait in the middle? I only got till noon.
You see, then my boss sneaks out of his girlfriend's house, and then I take him to an early lunch How about four hours for a hundred bucks? I'll even hold the door open for you.
Got any other bags? No, this is the only one.
Well, that's good, then we don't have to worry about them getting ripped off.
LEO: Hey, you guys really chew tobacco? - COLT: What's your name? - Leo.
- Leo, you know this address? - Yeah, well I know where everything is.
You just sit back there and relax.
(COUNTRY MUSIC PLAYING) You ever meet this guy? - Yeah, once.
- No kidding! See, I tell you what.
You tell me something about him and I'll let you have one free phone call.
I mean, being the only country western fan on Flatbush and 8th Street, that don't make for an easy life.
You know what I mean? I know what you mean.
Here you go.
Hey, you figure on busting the bank in there and being back at the airport in four hours? I'd like to shake the hand of a man with confidence like that.
Now how'd you know there's a crap game in there? Well, I hustle the limo nights, sometimes, when I get behind on my banjo payments.
- Also, I took my boss here once.
- Yeah? What's his name? J.
B.
Weinstein, "The Chicken Fat King".
He's a big man in the heartburn business.
Hey, Captain.
They got a rodeo or a circus in the Garden? What? Never saw him before.
Listen, they've got thieves, hookers, shylocks and killers in that place.
I guess there's room for a cowboy.
Get a picture of him anyway, see if any of our guys know him.
See if he's kerbed his horse, will ya? I got ripple-soled shoes on.
- Howdy.
- Yeah? J.
B.
told me I could find some big-city action here.
He even loaned me his driver.
Yeah, I see him.
Can you afford us? CROUPIER: Dice are coming out.
We have a hard eight.
A winner! (SWIFTY LAUGHING) SWIFTY: All right! Put $200 on the pass line.
Put the rest of the money over there.
I'll have my banker come by and stack it later.
- Swifty.
Time to go bye-bye.
- Hey, Big Guy! What are you doing here? You've come to watch Swifty make a deal for the island of Manhattan? Hey, you know this guy, Swifty? He okay? Okay? He's the best! You here on a movie? No, I'm here for the LA courts.
You and I are going to take a little plane ride.
Now? Couldn't you bust me when I'm on a losing streak? What's the matter? You got something against leaving a crap table with money? Hey, Tex.
Yeah, you.
D'you see any other cowboy in this joint? Put your money on the table or get back on your horse.
Hey, I'll handle it, Mr T.
Hey, no lookers here.
just players.
I see you're betting on the come line.
I'll bet you're wrong.
CROUPIER: Bets are down.
That's a bet with the house.
Gives me the best odds.
Well, come on, are we rolling the dice or is this a spectator sport? Friends shouldn't bet against friends.
CROUPIER: Dice are coming out.
A six.
Six is your point.
Hey, cowboy.
I've got $500 here says he makes that point.
I'll take a hundred bet.
Why don't you just take the whole thing? You and me.
- You're faded.
- Some friend.
Shut up and lose, Swifty.
CROUPIER: Dice are coming out.
Seven up! Wonderful! Thank you.
Thank you.
Okay.
Thank you.
- Come on, Swifty.
- Leave me alone.
You blew my luck.
Swifty, we have a plane to catch.
Come on.
Hey, cowboy, you ain't going nowhere with all that money.
- There are winters and, you know - Hey, cowboy.
Let go of me! Let go of me.
Hey, what are you doing? Hey! Hey, come on, put me down! No! Put me down! What's happening? He must be the fastest loser in the West.
Get me the police.
(SIREN WAILING) FINLEY: Oh, no! What the hell's going on? Where are these guys coming from? Did you call them? You're way out of line, flatfoot.
I got friends downtown, you know.
You look kind of natural in handcuffs, Trainer.
- You never learn, do you, Finley? - Keep moving.
- SWIFTY: Tell them there's been some mistake! - Excuse me! - SWIFTY: I'm not from New York! - You look like you're in charge here.
Captain Max Finley.
I'm more like an observer.
Yeah.
Well, I'd like the mouth with the little body attached, and I'd appreciate it if you'd turn him over to me right now, because I could make a noon flight.
Well, how'd you know he'd be coming out about now? I'm the guy that helped you out.
I made the call about the illegal gambling operations inside.
Cuff him! But, wait a minute! I was helping the police! Who asked you? I'm an officer of the court.
Don't you police advertise for public support? Not as far as California.
Why couldn't you stay out there and louse up their operations? What does that mean? It means that in your zeal to capture a penny ante West Coast bookmaker, you loused up a case involving a number-one scumball and cop killer named Nick Trainer.
Well, if "Sorry" will make you feel better, you got it, but you're not going to make me feel guilty over something I knew nothing about.
You don't have to feel guilty about anything.
You've already been found guilty.
Now sit down.
- Of what? - A violation of Finley's Law.
Now listen and learn, cowboy, and maybe you'll survive your visit to the Big Apple.
I had been sitting in that spot for three weeks.
The time before that, for eight weeks, and the time before that, for three months! It was my last chance to nail Nick Trainer.
He's got my hands tied with restraining orders, cease-and-desist orders, show-cause orders.
Anything that a battery of high-priced lawyers can throw at you.
All right, you got another "Sorry.
" What's that got to do with me? A few months ago, I had Trainer all set up for a direct gun buy.
Automatic weapons, grenades, flame throwers.
- He's a weapons supplier? - Among other things.
He was handed $50,000 of registered money by one of my undercover men.
It looked like a wrap-up.
My cop was killed.
We had nothing on Trainer but a pile of paper.
Now, some of that money's begun to surface in the last couple of weeks.
All I needed was to find it in Nick Trainer's possession.
And the only two people in that joint with marked money were you and that fish of yours, Swifty Leonard! We were winning! We got it from Trainer! I can't make a case against him, but I can possibly make a case against you.
You can't hold me on that.
Oh, yes I can, buddy-boy.
For anything I want, for 24 hours a pop.
It's as easy as A-B-C.
That's the way the New York State Penal Law is set up.
Alphabetically.
"A" as in abortion or arson.
"B" as in burglary or bribery, and so on.
Why? Look, I know I'm not going to be number one on your social calendar, but why roust me like that? It's not fair.
I didn't take an oath to be fair.
just relatively legal.
BEPO".
He came recommended.
TRAINER: What the hex'! are you {editing about? Recommended? That cowboy has just caused me too much grief for you to explain it away that easy.
He mentioned a customer's name.
And then he knew Swifty.
Swifty, huh? Well, that explains the whole thing, doesn't it? When does a creep like that have the power to recommend anybody? Huh? Where is he, anyway? He wasn't in that lock-up when we got bailed out.
The police still have him.
It seems there's a hold on him from California.
Also, there is no charge against the cowboy.
Hey, I don't know anything about that.
Besides, it was only a disorderly conduct arrest! Is that right? Let me explain something to you.
See, for a guy in my position to be moved around in the streets, in handcuffs? A little embarrassing to some of my contacts, like judges, senators, bankers.
Punk! I don't get arrested! Do you understand that? And I don't get handcuffed! I'm three layers away from any cops.
Right, O'Hara? Right.
Except maybe for that Finley, and that's why I got lawyers around here, to keep me ahead of him, so I outlive him.
I want to tell you something, my friend.
It's not going to help you.
- What does that mean? - It means I own the building that you operate in.
And your lease is hereby canceled.
And so are you, if you stick around this town.
Why don't you try Florida? I want you to find out everything you can about that cowboy.
Get some guys on the street.
Now! Come on! Yes, sir.
You want to know something? I don't like the way that cowboy looks at me.
He got no respect.
I need you, cowboy.
I have been looking for a tool like you ever since the Miranda decision came down.
Not Carmen, I take it.
No, the one that says you walk in and see a killer standing over a body with a smoking gun, you've got to warn him of his rights.
All I've got is a badge.
But you, you've got a court decision that says you can break into houses, cross state lines, snatch, grab, invade.
Almost anything you've a mind to.
Taylor decision.
Supreme Court of the United States.
- There are restrictions.
- Not enough to get in our way.
I can't harass Trainer.
You can.
I want him put away.
And I've only got one month to do it.
A month! Look, I've got to get back to LA, I got a job.
- I got people who depend on me.
- Plead that at your sentencing.
- Why the deadline? - My retirement.
I want him away before I go.
Look, I have a duty, too.
I got to get Swifty back on that warrant.
I will keep him in jail for you.
The same A-B-C's will work on him.
Come on, Captain, give me a break.
Can't you find somebody else to play cops and robbers with you? Are you kidding? A guy like you walks into my life at a time like this! It's like a religious experience.
I may even go back to the Church.
Call it cowboys and Indians, if you like.
Either way, you're it.
- In or out, Seavers? - Have I got a choice? (CHUCKLING) Howie, I need you to come and help me.
Why? Is there some kind of problem? Yes, Howie, it's a big problem.
Can't it wait till lunch break? We're about to do the stunt.
Just hop the next plane to New York.
I'll explain when you get here.
Right.
Do you really do all those high dives and stuff for those movie stars? That's right.
Impressed now? I'd be more impressed if you were one of the stars.
What's your first move? Well, I'd tell you, but you may think it's a little tacky.
The idea was fed to me by one of your men.
Since you trained him, it had to start in your evil, twisted mind.
Oh, then it must be brilliant! I hope you've also got a plan.
Stuntmen always do.
That's how we stay alive.
But you're going to have to trust me a little bit.
That's a lot of trust for me to put in anybody's hands.
You know, Finley, from what I heard, you're a living legend.
And one step away from sainthood.
Will you stop putting up statues? What's the plan? I'll arrest Trainer for you and do the best job I can.
All I want you to do is stand by and be ready to snatch him when he loses his cool and makes some big mistakes.
I got a problem, cowboy.
I'm beginning to like you.
You not only have my permission to like me, but to free me from bondage.
Besides, what's wrong with liking me? I don't want to go to any more funerals of my friends.
Been to too many, lately.
Can I get a fork? - What was your name again? - You know it.
(DOORBELL BUZZING) How does anybody get in the front door, let alone up to this apartment? Tell me.
Could be a neighbor, just wanting to borrow something.
I don't Lend.
And everything here is mine.
Right? Oh, what's an egg or a cup of sugar among friends? - You don't even cook.
- Oh, so they could still ask! Oh, you're absolutely divine! I can see we're going to have to do this entire apartment in hot pink.
And naturally, we'll coordinate the hallways so that they compliment your entrance and soothe the mind at the very first flash of the eye.
What is this? Early packing crate? Bernardo of Brooklyn, the decorator who is about to redo your life and bring it into being with your very soul, rather than simply an abode where you hang your frock, so to speak.
RONA: You're going to redecorate this whole apartment? The entire building, darling! And I can't wait to get my hands on yours.
Oh! I love your view! But you've wasted your terrace.
You needed me ages ago.
- Hey! - Sorry.
Would you mind stepping over there? I'm afraid your robe clashes frightfully with these drapes.
It makes it impossible for me to get the vision of the light as it glistens through the window.
- Come on, honey, let's go.
Come on.
- Thank you.
(SHUTTER CLICKING) Who is this clown? And what is he supposed to be doing here? - He's doing the apartment.
- Doing what to the apartment? "It," darling.
It.
In hot pink.
- All right, you - Oh! just a second.
It looks as though a bird were trying to make a nest on your wall.
Would you two mind standing together, so that I can make a record of your flesh tones? (SHUTTER CLICKING) No more pictures.
Oh yes, that's lovely! You're a beautiful couple.
All right, do you hear me? No more pictures! (SHUTTER CLICKING CONTINUES) Yeah, this is Trainer.
Do you got some guy flying through the building that's supposed to be redecorating? Not that I know of, Mr Trainer.
I didn't let anybody in.
That's what I thought.
Send my boys up on the double.
You'd better get up there right away.
Somebody got in.
Enough of those pictures! just sit down, will you, a second? You're starting to give me a headache, okay? But I've got five more apartments to do today.
Did you hear me? I said I don't want any more -pictures on this thing.
just a second.
- RONA: Nicky - You understand me? No more pictures! - I'm sorry.
Get out, sweet pea.
Colt, it worked! Colt? Faster! Bring it over! He's on the balcony! (sum FIRES) (TIRES SCREECHING) It's that cowboy again! All right.
Get him.
Well, that's one way to do it.
Okay, this is Finley.
Bring them in.
Hit it.
(POLICE SIREN WAILING) Freeze! You got the wrong guys.
It was those dudes in that truck you want.
These are the only ones I saw with guns.
Now, read these creeps their rights.
(CHUCKLING) I want you to get the film in this camera developed as fast as you can, a full set of the prints delivered by hand to this address.
Good.
Now we're cooking! Here's one you've probably never used.
Mutiny.
Mutiny? That's an I'm still working on sorting out your "B's".
Burglary, breaking-and-entering.
You got a long wait before we get to Mutiny.
Look, Finley, I got my own set of problems.
I have to return Swifty on that warrant.
And I've got an animal named Trainer finally starting to run a little wild.
Now is the time for us to keep the pressure on him.
You mean me! I'm the one getting shot at.
Small details.
I'm working on the wider view.
You know, you've done pretty good.
You could turn pro.
Oh, come on, Finley, stop conning me.
I came through for you.
Let me get Swifty off my mind.
I can get him a non-stop to LA and have my cousin take him back.
Just give him to me.
Sure, and what keeps you in New York? I'll hang in a little longer.
Are you offering me something you haven't given before? Yeah, my word on it.
- You're asking a lot.
- I'm giving a lot.
All right, I'll take it.
I've always got Finley's Law and the alphabet.
You're a hell of a friend, Colt! First you mess up my luck, you get me flipped into jail and now you want me to fly to LA without my luggage.
Well, would you rather hang around New York and explain to Nick Trainer why you're a friend of mine? You'd be safer sitting in an L.
A.
jail.
Besides, I don't like Howie traveling alone.
The kid don't get airsick, does he? Airsick? I just jumped from an eight-story building! What's he, crazy? I think I'd rather just stay here with Trainer.
One with mustard, please.
Now, Swifty, when is it you've been busted in such style? Look at this! Thanks.
Makes me almost want to plead guilty to something.
COLT: Trainer's men.
Get in! Get in! Get in! Get in there! LEO: Hey, what are you doing? I'm driving, you know.
Follow that car! SWIFTY: Take it easy! Colt, they're right behind us! Where are you going? It's a dead end! Now we got them! It's a dead end! Follow them! Follow them! SWIFTY: I'll take my chances with Trainer! You're crazy! Stay on the floor! (SWIFTY GROANS) Sorry about that.
Hey, the limo's a lease, okay? Worry about me instead.
Settle for concern, huh? Holy You hurt bad? I'll lay you 8-to-5 you don't get to the hospital in time, made you make the trip for nothing.
No, don't do it, man! Don't even think about it! Please, there's a You're gonna do it anyway! (LEO SCREAMING) If he can do it, we can do it! Go! Go! I think we lost them.
Anybody else want to look at these pictures? Great security I got! Do you know they sent a duplicate set to my wife? And I don't know how many more they spread around this town.
And guess what? Our boys get a shot at the cowboy, they plug the wrong guy.
I want you to put more men on the street and I want you to find him.
He's starting to give me a real bad headache.
- We're spreading ourselves pretty thin.
- Don't talk to me about thin.
I got a payroll that sounds like civil service.
Look, we lost two men at Rona's apartment.
Mike is in a coma, and Fletcher is nailed to a prison bed.
Who the hell is this guy, anyway? What's his beef with me? We don't even know his name.
All he needs is an Indian sidekick, a white horse and some silver bullets.
This is getting ridiculous.
Figured out what the tie-in is with Finley, yet? If I could find a tie-in, I'd serve more court papers on Finley.
Finley even arrested him! He booked him "john Doe".
Well, what am I supposed to do? Sit around and wait for him to stick another needle in me? I'm starting to bleed! Well then, that's what you're going to have to do until I find a tie-in -between john Doe and Finley.
- Then get it done! You got two days! I want you to pull in the men.
I want them to guard the warehouse and this office, that's it.
I'll get right on it.
I like him.
He's my friend.
He's in that hospital bed because of me.
Instead of you.
You're the one they were after.
- That doesn't make me feel any better.
- You never feel any better.
Take my advice, cowboy, get out of this line of work while you still got the ability to feel anything at all.
Look, I am sorry about Swifty.
He's gonna be all right, and that's the last time I'm going to mention his name as anything other than a case.
Look, just because you got a personal beef with this Trainer I didn't even know him till you put me up against him.
Personal? There's nothing personal about it.
It's no more personal than you being the one to take Swifty to LA.
It's what I do.
Look, I have watched Trainer grow from an annoying fungus into a plague.
I used to be able to roust him once in a while, just to keep him off balance.
Now his high-priced lawyers and the courts have tied my hands.
All I want to do is wrap up Trainer before I get out of this job and start being normal again.
What about the two heavies that were chasing me? One's in a coma, the other's on a stretcher in Bellevue Hospital under guard.
What if I stripped away the rest of them? Make Trainer come out on his own? You do that and Finley's Law retires with me.
No, no.
Use it once more in reverse.
I want you to roust my cousin, Howie, out of New York City.
Why? He looked pretty good coming off that terrace.
He is good, and he delivered.
But just because I'm volunteering to be a target, no reason he has to.
-Wouldn't he hang in if you asked him? - That's the problem.
He would.
Let's keep him safe on this one, Finley.
All right.
Deal.
He's one phone call away from a plane ride.
And by the way, finishing off Trainer, is that going to get you a statue at City Hall or something? There won't be three people remember me 10 minutes after I'm gone, but at least I'll have my own private last hurrah.
No, as mean and miserable as you are, you won't be alone.
I'll be there to help celebrate with you.
(FINLEY CHUCKLING) I am a prisoner.
I understand my rights as granted me by the Fifth Amendment and by recent decisions of the United States Supreme Court.
I refuse to answer anything and you don't have the right to question me.
My lawyer's name is Shame on you, Fletcher.
You should have had this memorized a long time ago.
Now, repeat after me, "I am an animal and I am a creep.
" Hey, there is a cop in the hall, you know? Officer! Officer! Hey, Officer, where are you? It's okay.
It's just an old gangster movie.
Hey, who are you? And what do you want from me, anyhow? Swifty Leonard is a friend of mine.
He could also be considered a partner.
Oh, that's a long way down.
And he also owes me a lot of money.
Hey, I didn't shoot nobody, man.
I was driving.
It was the other guy.
Look, mister, I'm a street pro.
I just do what I'm told.
Yeah, by Nick Trainer.
I answer that, I could get myself killed.
What makes you think I'm gonna offer you a better deal? What are you doing? What are you doing? I want to know Trainer's biggest operation right now.
Where he keeps his records, his books.
And you better think carefully, because the life you save may be your own.
Hey, man.
What are you doing, man? You can't throw me out no window! - I'm a patient! - Trainer's biggest operation? Wait a minute! Oh, my God, wait a minute! All right! All right! All right! All right! It's a warehouse dock on Pier 3.
He's got $6,000,000 in automatic weapons.
I trucked them in myself.
- Books? - Yeah, in the vault in his office.
How many guns does he have left besides you? - Five or six, not counting me.
- Good boy.
You know, you're all alone now, and you're gonna need some protection.
If I were you I'd talk to the D.
A.
about Trainer.
And forget you ever saw me.
You got that? Hey, can I have the nurse now? Why, are you in pain? No, I think I need a bedpan.
Fletcher, you are a bedpan.
I didn't hear a thing, so I'm not part of any threat.
And the nurses were all busy with humans.
The warehouse is below Canal Street.
And you're an eavesdropper and a mind reader.
Yeah.
Come on.
Hey, Cross, bring your romance down the hall, will you? Fletcher may want to talk to the both of you.
What do you want around here? I just got into town.
I was looking for work.
You fellas hiring here? I think you'd best get out of here.
- Hold it, pal.
Freeze.
- You shouldn't ought of done that part.
Come on.
Your draw.
Is New York City preparing to declare war on New jersey? What do we do with Newark if we win? I don't know, but there's enough stuff in here to restage Normandy.
I'm going to take a look around.
- MAN: Hey, john, did you hear something? - No, I didn't hear anything.
Apparently, there's a bunch of guys in here.
Nobody said it would be easy.
Nobody said I'd get dead, either.
Trainer did.
Listen, Colt, seriously, if it looks hairy, pull out, huh? Pulling out here.
I got him! Come on! Let's go! (ENGINE STARTING) Come on! He's by the barrels.
Let's go! It's gonna blow! Completely gone.
It was a BOO-foot pier.
Come on.
I got six million bucks worth of goods tied up in that warehouse, waiting to be shipped to Central America.
Forget about it.
Whatever doesn't explode or burn, the Fire Department will seize and turn over to the cops.
They'll run it down and identify it as contraband, and then they'll back-track.
They'll back-track! It'll take those cops years to connect us with that operation.
Months maybe, but not years.
Some of those corporations were vague, -but they are a matter of record.
- All right.
Enough, huh? We're all gonna come out of this okay.
But along the way we're gonna bury that cowboy hero.
First, don't use the word "we" when you're talking about criminal matters.
I am your attorney.
Now, based on privileged information, I can hear anything you say without becoming involved.
I am not your partner.
I do not share in your profits.
- And what's the bottom line? - The bottom line is I am planning on taking an extended vacation in Mexico, with some possible future travel in Brazil and Paraguay.
I think you should consider the same.
What are you talking about? I got millions tied up around this town.
I got corporations, companies No, no, you did.
You did, but your wife already has a battery of lawyers and most of those assets are either in her name, or she knows about them.
She'll tie them up for years.
Nobody's gonna get anything that's mine.
What are you going to protect it with? Most of your guns are in jail.
And I don't have to remind you how the Longer a man stays in jail, the more Liable he is to talk to get out.
It has been a very profitable relationship for both of us, but nothing is forever.
Goodbye, Nick.
You walk out on me now, and I - I want him gone.
- I don't think so, Mr Trainer.
Not this time.
It wouldn't be business.
That's the kind of hits that cause us all the trouble.
I just gave you an order, Bleeker! I've been with you a long time, and I'll stick now.
But I'm the only gun you got.
And I figure you ought to be treating me more like a partner instead of an employee.
(CHUCKLING) Let me tell you something.
- I don't sit still for no shakedown.
- Well, you go it alone.
Bleeker Sit down.
I'll give you 25% of everything we can haul out of here.
Okay.
I like that, Nick.
All right.
We gotta empty a lot of safety deposit boxes, and we gotta get the books from the vault.
Oh, as long as we're partners, you can start paying for your own breakfast.
One more thing No matter what comes down, that cowboy is a dead man.
Right.
COLT: You know, these are $200 boots.
I don't think they'll ever dry right.
- That river I dove into was polluted.
- FINLEY: Maybe, but it's historic.
Hey, listen, what do you think about Hawaii as a place to retire? I mean, I could sit in the sun and cook my skin.
Wear flowers around my neck.
Get fat being fed by native dancers who think I'm a god.
- COLT: What is in that ice cream you're eating? - Calories.
COLT: Yeah, well you better switch to drugs.
I think you're starting to hallucinate.
FINLEY: Maybe it's just the flavor.
You know, Finley, you may be able to retire, but you're too young to "retire" retire.
You're gonna have to be doing something.
There's nothing left for guys like me to do.
We came from an era where there used to be a A broad stripe separating the good guys from the bad.
And now, that stripe has turned polka-dot grey, and it keeps getting smeared lighter by the politicians.
I'm a throwback, Colt.
I know that.
My era is finished, and I got no place to go.
But, boy, it sure was worth it.
You did it, cowboy.
You got Trainer on the run.
He's got his fall money stashed in a box in that bank under a phony name.
Now, he wouldn't touch that unless he was gonna run.
- You know that for sure? - What I know and what I can do about it are two different things.
But I know Trainer's gonna come flying out of there, and he's not gonna be too happy.
Finley, I know you're a little devious, and you take pleasure in other people's discomfort, but what did you do to him? Nothing illegal.
I just felt that his wife's attorneys had the right to know about Mr Trainer's assets.
Therefore, they put a hold on all his accounts until the courts -decide his divorce settlement.
- Trainer's broke? Broke is relative.
For him, he's broke.
He's gonna hear the same thing at three other banks, and then he's going to hit his office vault.
Well, good, now that you've got this all down to a schedule, - I can take a plane to LA.
- Oh, no, no, no.
Not exactly.
Maybe one more little thing.
- What? - Come on, come on.
TRAINER: Come on, move it! Remember the alphabet.
A, B Come on, Finley! All right, just stay here and wait.
(TYRE DEFLATING) (FINLEY HONKING) Hey, you! COLT: Watch out, he's got a gun! (sum FIRING) Get out of the car, buddy.
Move! Come on! Out! Get out! FINLEY: Hey! Get that thing out of there, will you? This is police business! Move it! Move it! I know this is a lot to ask, but police business, follow that car.
I'd love it! (FINLEY HONKING) WOMAN: Get out of my way! This is police business! (SIREN WAILING) - They said it could do 100! - Yeah, well, he's only doing 80.
Now, just pull up next to him.
WOMAN: Don't get nervous, young man.
We'll get him.
We've caught him now! - I could ram him! - Oh, no, no, no, lady.
Please.
Steady now.
Stay with him.
WOMAN: This is just Like stunt driving in the movies! - Go get him! - Pull along side of him.
- Now, hold it steady.
- Bye bye, young man.
(FINLEY HONKING) This is where you belong, Trainer, in dirt.
- You hurt bad? - I'm all right.
I'm all right.
Yeah, I know, you're too ornery to die of a gunshot wound.
Well, if you want me to drive you to the airport, you're gonna have to wait a couple of days.
Otherwise, take off as soon as you hear the siren.
If I need anything, I'll call you.
Hey, cowboy.
Thanks a lot.
You know, Finley, I'm gonna miss you.
But not that much.
Besides, you owe me a new pair of boots!
Oh, my God! DIRECTOR: Cut! That's a print! Wow, Colt, that was terrific! Look at this car.
- Are you okay, Colt? - I think I bit my lip.
- Nice stunt, Colt.
- Thank you.
Now, listen.
Like I was telling you.
This is the easiest thing you were ever handed.
This is a walk-through.
It's a piece of cake.
Colt! Colt Look at me, Colt.
- I'm seducing you.
- A girl like me wouldn't stand a chance.
Seduce me.
$2,000 for a fast round trip with the pussycat of all runaways.
Plus, a great rummy player for the trip back.
Well, if it's so easy, why don't you do it yourself? Because Swifty Leonard hangs out in some pretty unladylike places.
Swifty Leonard? He's a friend of mine.
I've known him for years.
I know that, but he's still a bookmaker.
There's a big difference between bookmakers and fugitives.
Now, Swifty isn't running.
He's got a successful business to come back to, here.
Yeah.
Successful, but illegal.
Colt, $2,000 is five months' rent, or nine-and-a-half utility payments.
Or 1,280 hamburgers.
Colt, five hours each way, a couple hours between airports.
Sixteen hours.
Eighteen at the most.
That's over $100 an hour.
How many people you know make that kind of money? Do you think it's the economy, or just colt's choice of friends? Plus, I can tell you exactly where Swifty is, what he'll be doing and almost how much he's losing.
He calls me every day, and tells me not to worry.
- Then why are you worried? - He calls collect.
Colt, Colt, I'll drive you to your house to pack.
I'll even drive you to the airport.
Come OH, SEDUCE THE some more.
Howdy.
Cowboy.
If you're looking for the bright lights, they don't come on till after dark.
You drive this thing, or just peddle bits of wisdom? - I'm looking for a ride to Manhattan.
- Hey, you got it! My meterâs broken.
But we can estimate.
I'll treat you fair.
You ever been to New York before? Nope.
But I didnât just fall off the turnip truck, either.
Hey, guy.
You want to deal wholesale? Well, why not? The last offer sounded more like a kidnapping.
Yeah, well, that dude's in hustling for a living.
Now me, I'm only in action part time.
Twenty-five bucks, two bucks a phone call and you can ride in the back of a dream hearse.
How about a flat rate for a round trip with an hour wait in the middle? I only got till noon.
You see, then my boss sneaks out of his girlfriend's house, and then I take him to an early lunch How about four hours for a hundred bucks? I'll even hold the door open for you.
Got any other bags? No, this is the only one.
Well, that's good, then we don't have to worry about them getting ripped off.
LEO: Hey, you guys really chew tobacco? - COLT: What's your name? - Leo.
- Leo, you know this address? - Yeah, well I know where everything is.
You just sit back there and relax.
(COUNTRY MUSIC PLAYING) You ever meet this guy? - Yeah, once.
- No kidding! See, I tell you what.
You tell me something about him and I'll let you have one free phone call.
I mean, being the only country western fan on Flatbush and 8th Street, that don't make for an easy life.
You know what I mean? I know what you mean.
Here you go.
Hey, you figure on busting the bank in there and being back at the airport in four hours? I'd like to shake the hand of a man with confidence like that.
Now how'd you know there's a crap game in there? Well, I hustle the limo nights, sometimes, when I get behind on my banjo payments.
- Also, I took my boss here once.
- Yeah? What's his name? J.
B.
Weinstein, "The Chicken Fat King".
He's a big man in the heartburn business.
Hey, Captain.
They got a rodeo or a circus in the Garden? What? Never saw him before.
Listen, they've got thieves, hookers, shylocks and killers in that place.
I guess there's room for a cowboy.
Get a picture of him anyway, see if any of our guys know him.
See if he's kerbed his horse, will ya? I got ripple-soled shoes on.
- Howdy.
- Yeah? J.
B.
told me I could find some big-city action here.
He even loaned me his driver.
Yeah, I see him.
Can you afford us? CROUPIER: Dice are coming out.
We have a hard eight.
A winner! (SWIFTY LAUGHING) SWIFTY: All right! Put $200 on the pass line.
Put the rest of the money over there.
I'll have my banker come by and stack it later.
- Swifty.
Time to go bye-bye.
- Hey, Big Guy! What are you doing here? You've come to watch Swifty make a deal for the island of Manhattan? Hey, you know this guy, Swifty? He okay? Okay? He's the best! You here on a movie? No, I'm here for the LA courts.
You and I are going to take a little plane ride.
Now? Couldn't you bust me when I'm on a losing streak? What's the matter? You got something against leaving a crap table with money? Hey, Tex.
Yeah, you.
D'you see any other cowboy in this joint? Put your money on the table or get back on your horse.
Hey, I'll handle it, Mr T.
Hey, no lookers here.
just players.
I see you're betting on the come line.
I'll bet you're wrong.
CROUPIER: Bets are down.
That's a bet with the house.
Gives me the best odds.
Well, come on, are we rolling the dice or is this a spectator sport? Friends shouldn't bet against friends.
CROUPIER: Dice are coming out.
A six.
Six is your point.
Hey, cowboy.
I've got $500 here says he makes that point.
I'll take a hundred bet.
Why don't you just take the whole thing? You and me.
- You're faded.
- Some friend.
Shut up and lose, Swifty.
CROUPIER: Dice are coming out.
Seven up! Wonderful! Thank you.
Thank you.
Okay.
Thank you.
- Come on, Swifty.
- Leave me alone.
You blew my luck.
Swifty, we have a plane to catch.
Come on.
Hey, cowboy, you ain't going nowhere with all that money.
- There are winters and, you know - Hey, cowboy.
Let go of me! Let go of me.
Hey, what are you doing? Hey! Hey, come on, put me down! No! Put me down! What's happening? He must be the fastest loser in the West.
Get me the police.
(SIREN WAILING) FINLEY: Oh, no! What the hell's going on? Where are these guys coming from? Did you call them? You're way out of line, flatfoot.
I got friends downtown, you know.
You look kind of natural in handcuffs, Trainer.
- You never learn, do you, Finley? - Keep moving.
- SWIFTY: Tell them there's been some mistake! - Excuse me! - SWIFTY: I'm not from New York! - You look like you're in charge here.
Captain Max Finley.
I'm more like an observer.
Yeah.
Well, I'd like the mouth with the little body attached, and I'd appreciate it if you'd turn him over to me right now, because I could make a noon flight.
Well, how'd you know he'd be coming out about now? I'm the guy that helped you out.
I made the call about the illegal gambling operations inside.
Cuff him! But, wait a minute! I was helping the police! Who asked you? I'm an officer of the court.
Don't you police advertise for public support? Not as far as California.
Why couldn't you stay out there and louse up their operations? What does that mean? It means that in your zeal to capture a penny ante West Coast bookmaker, you loused up a case involving a number-one scumball and cop killer named Nick Trainer.
Well, if "Sorry" will make you feel better, you got it, but you're not going to make me feel guilty over something I knew nothing about.
You don't have to feel guilty about anything.
You've already been found guilty.
Now sit down.
- Of what? - A violation of Finley's Law.
Now listen and learn, cowboy, and maybe you'll survive your visit to the Big Apple.
I had been sitting in that spot for three weeks.
The time before that, for eight weeks, and the time before that, for three months! It was my last chance to nail Nick Trainer.
He's got my hands tied with restraining orders, cease-and-desist orders, show-cause orders.
Anything that a battery of high-priced lawyers can throw at you.
All right, you got another "Sorry.
" What's that got to do with me? A few months ago, I had Trainer all set up for a direct gun buy.
Automatic weapons, grenades, flame throwers.
- He's a weapons supplier? - Among other things.
He was handed $50,000 of registered money by one of my undercover men.
It looked like a wrap-up.
My cop was killed.
We had nothing on Trainer but a pile of paper.
Now, some of that money's begun to surface in the last couple of weeks.
All I needed was to find it in Nick Trainer's possession.
And the only two people in that joint with marked money were you and that fish of yours, Swifty Leonard! We were winning! We got it from Trainer! I can't make a case against him, but I can possibly make a case against you.
You can't hold me on that.
Oh, yes I can, buddy-boy.
For anything I want, for 24 hours a pop.
It's as easy as A-B-C.
That's the way the New York State Penal Law is set up.
Alphabetically.
"A" as in abortion or arson.
"B" as in burglary or bribery, and so on.
Why? Look, I know I'm not going to be number one on your social calendar, but why roust me like that? It's not fair.
I didn't take an oath to be fair.
just relatively legal.
BEPO".
He came recommended.
TRAINER: What the hex'! are you {editing about? Recommended? That cowboy has just caused me too much grief for you to explain it away that easy.
He mentioned a customer's name.
And then he knew Swifty.
Swifty, huh? Well, that explains the whole thing, doesn't it? When does a creep like that have the power to recommend anybody? Huh? Where is he, anyway? He wasn't in that lock-up when we got bailed out.
The police still have him.
It seems there's a hold on him from California.
Also, there is no charge against the cowboy.
Hey, I don't know anything about that.
Besides, it was only a disorderly conduct arrest! Is that right? Let me explain something to you.
See, for a guy in my position to be moved around in the streets, in handcuffs? A little embarrassing to some of my contacts, like judges, senators, bankers.
Punk! I don't get arrested! Do you understand that? And I don't get handcuffed! I'm three layers away from any cops.
Right, O'Hara? Right.
Except maybe for that Finley, and that's why I got lawyers around here, to keep me ahead of him, so I outlive him.
I want to tell you something, my friend.
It's not going to help you.
- What does that mean? - It means I own the building that you operate in.
And your lease is hereby canceled.
And so are you, if you stick around this town.
Why don't you try Florida? I want you to find out everything you can about that cowboy.
Get some guys on the street.
Now! Come on! Yes, sir.
You want to know something? I don't like the way that cowboy looks at me.
He got no respect.
I need you, cowboy.
I have been looking for a tool like you ever since the Miranda decision came down.
Not Carmen, I take it.
No, the one that says you walk in and see a killer standing over a body with a smoking gun, you've got to warn him of his rights.
All I've got is a badge.
But you, you've got a court decision that says you can break into houses, cross state lines, snatch, grab, invade.
Almost anything you've a mind to.
Taylor decision.
Supreme Court of the United States.
- There are restrictions.
- Not enough to get in our way.
I can't harass Trainer.
You can.
I want him put away.
And I've only got one month to do it.
A month! Look, I've got to get back to LA, I got a job.
- I got people who depend on me.
- Plead that at your sentencing.
- Why the deadline? - My retirement.
I want him away before I go.
Look, I have a duty, too.
I got to get Swifty back on that warrant.
I will keep him in jail for you.
The same A-B-C's will work on him.
Come on, Captain, give me a break.
Can't you find somebody else to play cops and robbers with you? Are you kidding? A guy like you walks into my life at a time like this! It's like a religious experience.
I may even go back to the Church.
Call it cowboys and Indians, if you like.
Either way, you're it.
- In or out, Seavers? - Have I got a choice? (CHUCKLING) Howie, I need you to come and help me.
Why? Is there some kind of problem? Yes, Howie, it's a big problem.
Can't it wait till lunch break? We're about to do the stunt.
Just hop the next plane to New York.
I'll explain when you get here.
Right.
Do you really do all those high dives and stuff for those movie stars? That's right.
Impressed now? I'd be more impressed if you were one of the stars.
What's your first move? Well, I'd tell you, but you may think it's a little tacky.
The idea was fed to me by one of your men.
Since you trained him, it had to start in your evil, twisted mind.
Oh, then it must be brilliant! I hope you've also got a plan.
Stuntmen always do.
That's how we stay alive.
But you're going to have to trust me a little bit.
That's a lot of trust for me to put in anybody's hands.
You know, Finley, from what I heard, you're a living legend.
And one step away from sainthood.
Will you stop putting up statues? What's the plan? I'll arrest Trainer for you and do the best job I can.
All I want you to do is stand by and be ready to snatch him when he loses his cool and makes some big mistakes.
I got a problem, cowboy.
I'm beginning to like you.
You not only have my permission to like me, but to free me from bondage.
Besides, what's wrong with liking me? I don't want to go to any more funerals of my friends.
Been to too many, lately.
Can I get a fork? - What was your name again? - You know it.
(DOORBELL BUZZING) How does anybody get in the front door, let alone up to this apartment? Tell me.
Could be a neighbor, just wanting to borrow something.
I don't Lend.
And everything here is mine.
Right? Oh, what's an egg or a cup of sugar among friends? - You don't even cook.
- Oh, so they could still ask! Oh, you're absolutely divine! I can see we're going to have to do this entire apartment in hot pink.
And naturally, we'll coordinate the hallways so that they compliment your entrance and soothe the mind at the very first flash of the eye.
What is this? Early packing crate? Bernardo of Brooklyn, the decorator who is about to redo your life and bring it into being with your very soul, rather than simply an abode where you hang your frock, so to speak.
RONA: You're going to redecorate this whole apartment? The entire building, darling! And I can't wait to get my hands on yours.
Oh! I love your view! But you've wasted your terrace.
You needed me ages ago.
- Hey! - Sorry.
Would you mind stepping over there? I'm afraid your robe clashes frightfully with these drapes.
It makes it impossible for me to get the vision of the light as it glistens through the window.
- Come on, honey, let's go.
Come on.
- Thank you.
(SHUTTER CLICKING) Who is this clown? And what is he supposed to be doing here? - He's doing the apartment.
- Doing what to the apartment? "It," darling.
It.
In hot pink.
- All right, you - Oh! just a second.
It looks as though a bird were trying to make a nest on your wall.
Would you two mind standing together, so that I can make a record of your flesh tones? (SHUTTER CLICKING) No more pictures.
Oh yes, that's lovely! You're a beautiful couple.
All right, do you hear me? No more pictures! (SHUTTER CLICKING CONTINUES) Yeah, this is Trainer.
Do you got some guy flying through the building that's supposed to be redecorating? Not that I know of, Mr Trainer.
I didn't let anybody in.
That's what I thought.
Send my boys up on the double.
You'd better get up there right away.
Somebody got in.
Enough of those pictures! just sit down, will you, a second? You're starting to give me a headache, okay? But I've got five more apartments to do today.
Did you hear me? I said I don't want any more -pictures on this thing.
just a second.
- RONA: Nicky - You understand me? No more pictures! - I'm sorry.
Get out, sweet pea.
Colt, it worked! Colt? Faster! Bring it over! He's on the balcony! (sum FIRES) (TIRES SCREECHING) It's that cowboy again! All right.
Get him.
Well, that's one way to do it.
Okay, this is Finley.
Bring them in.
Hit it.
(POLICE SIREN WAILING) Freeze! You got the wrong guys.
It was those dudes in that truck you want.
These are the only ones I saw with guns.
Now, read these creeps their rights.
(CHUCKLING) I want you to get the film in this camera developed as fast as you can, a full set of the prints delivered by hand to this address.
Good.
Now we're cooking! Here's one you've probably never used.
Mutiny.
Mutiny? That's an I'm still working on sorting out your "B's".
Burglary, breaking-and-entering.
You got a long wait before we get to Mutiny.
Look, Finley, I got my own set of problems.
I have to return Swifty on that warrant.
And I've got an animal named Trainer finally starting to run a little wild.
Now is the time for us to keep the pressure on him.
You mean me! I'm the one getting shot at.
Small details.
I'm working on the wider view.
You know, you've done pretty good.
You could turn pro.
Oh, come on, Finley, stop conning me.
I came through for you.
Let me get Swifty off my mind.
I can get him a non-stop to LA and have my cousin take him back.
Just give him to me.
Sure, and what keeps you in New York? I'll hang in a little longer.
Are you offering me something you haven't given before? Yeah, my word on it.
- You're asking a lot.
- I'm giving a lot.
All right, I'll take it.
I've always got Finley's Law and the alphabet.
You're a hell of a friend, Colt! First you mess up my luck, you get me flipped into jail and now you want me to fly to LA without my luggage.
Well, would you rather hang around New York and explain to Nick Trainer why you're a friend of mine? You'd be safer sitting in an L.
A.
jail.
Besides, I don't like Howie traveling alone.
The kid don't get airsick, does he? Airsick? I just jumped from an eight-story building! What's he, crazy? I think I'd rather just stay here with Trainer.
One with mustard, please.
Now, Swifty, when is it you've been busted in such style? Look at this! Thanks.
Makes me almost want to plead guilty to something.
COLT: Trainer's men.
Get in! Get in! Get in! Get in there! LEO: Hey, what are you doing? I'm driving, you know.
Follow that car! SWIFTY: Take it easy! Colt, they're right behind us! Where are you going? It's a dead end! Now we got them! It's a dead end! Follow them! Follow them! SWIFTY: I'll take my chances with Trainer! You're crazy! Stay on the floor! (SWIFTY GROANS) Sorry about that.
Hey, the limo's a lease, okay? Worry about me instead.
Settle for concern, huh? Holy You hurt bad? I'll lay you 8-to-5 you don't get to the hospital in time, made you make the trip for nothing.
No, don't do it, man! Don't even think about it! Please, there's a You're gonna do it anyway! (LEO SCREAMING) If he can do it, we can do it! Go! Go! I think we lost them.
Anybody else want to look at these pictures? Great security I got! Do you know they sent a duplicate set to my wife? And I don't know how many more they spread around this town.
And guess what? Our boys get a shot at the cowboy, they plug the wrong guy.
I want you to put more men on the street and I want you to find him.
He's starting to give me a real bad headache.
- We're spreading ourselves pretty thin.
- Don't talk to me about thin.
I got a payroll that sounds like civil service.
Look, we lost two men at Rona's apartment.
Mike is in a coma, and Fletcher is nailed to a prison bed.
Who the hell is this guy, anyway? What's his beef with me? We don't even know his name.
All he needs is an Indian sidekick, a white horse and some silver bullets.
This is getting ridiculous.
Figured out what the tie-in is with Finley, yet? If I could find a tie-in, I'd serve more court papers on Finley.
Finley even arrested him! He booked him "john Doe".
Well, what am I supposed to do? Sit around and wait for him to stick another needle in me? I'm starting to bleed! Well then, that's what you're going to have to do until I find a tie-in -between john Doe and Finley.
- Then get it done! You got two days! I want you to pull in the men.
I want them to guard the warehouse and this office, that's it.
I'll get right on it.
I like him.
He's my friend.
He's in that hospital bed because of me.
Instead of you.
You're the one they were after.
- That doesn't make me feel any better.
- You never feel any better.
Take my advice, cowboy, get out of this line of work while you still got the ability to feel anything at all.
Look, I am sorry about Swifty.
He's gonna be all right, and that's the last time I'm going to mention his name as anything other than a case.
Look, just because you got a personal beef with this Trainer I didn't even know him till you put me up against him.
Personal? There's nothing personal about it.
It's no more personal than you being the one to take Swifty to LA.
It's what I do.
Look, I have watched Trainer grow from an annoying fungus into a plague.
I used to be able to roust him once in a while, just to keep him off balance.
Now his high-priced lawyers and the courts have tied my hands.
All I want to do is wrap up Trainer before I get out of this job and start being normal again.
What about the two heavies that were chasing me? One's in a coma, the other's on a stretcher in Bellevue Hospital under guard.
What if I stripped away the rest of them? Make Trainer come out on his own? You do that and Finley's Law retires with me.
No, no.
Use it once more in reverse.
I want you to roust my cousin, Howie, out of New York City.
Why? He looked pretty good coming off that terrace.
He is good, and he delivered.
But just because I'm volunteering to be a target, no reason he has to.
-Wouldn't he hang in if you asked him? - That's the problem.
He would.
Let's keep him safe on this one, Finley.
All right.
Deal.
He's one phone call away from a plane ride.
And by the way, finishing off Trainer, is that going to get you a statue at City Hall or something? There won't be three people remember me 10 minutes after I'm gone, but at least I'll have my own private last hurrah.
No, as mean and miserable as you are, you won't be alone.
I'll be there to help celebrate with you.
(FINLEY CHUCKLING) I am a prisoner.
I understand my rights as granted me by the Fifth Amendment and by recent decisions of the United States Supreme Court.
I refuse to answer anything and you don't have the right to question me.
My lawyer's name is Shame on you, Fletcher.
You should have had this memorized a long time ago.
Now, repeat after me, "I am an animal and I am a creep.
" Hey, there is a cop in the hall, you know? Officer! Officer! Hey, Officer, where are you? It's okay.
It's just an old gangster movie.
Hey, who are you? And what do you want from me, anyhow? Swifty Leonard is a friend of mine.
He could also be considered a partner.
Oh, that's a long way down.
And he also owes me a lot of money.
Hey, I didn't shoot nobody, man.
I was driving.
It was the other guy.
Look, mister, I'm a street pro.
I just do what I'm told.
Yeah, by Nick Trainer.
I answer that, I could get myself killed.
What makes you think I'm gonna offer you a better deal? What are you doing? What are you doing? I want to know Trainer's biggest operation right now.
Where he keeps his records, his books.
And you better think carefully, because the life you save may be your own.
Hey, man.
What are you doing, man? You can't throw me out no window! - I'm a patient! - Trainer's biggest operation? Wait a minute! Oh, my God, wait a minute! All right! All right! All right! All right! It's a warehouse dock on Pier 3.
He's got $6,000,000 in automatic weapons.
I trucked them in myself.
- Books? - Yeah, in the vault in his office.
How many guns does he have left besides you? - Five or six, not counting me.
- Good boy.
You know, you're all alone now, and you're gonna need some protection.
If I were you I'd talk to the D.
A.
about Trainer.
And forget you ever saw me.
You got that? Hey, can I have the nurse now? Why, are you in pain? No, I think I need a bedpan.
Fletcher, you are a bedpan.
I didn't hear a thing, so I'm not part of any threat.
And the nurses were all busy with humans.
The warehouse is below Canal Street.
And you're an eavesdropper and a mind reader.
Yeah.
Come on.
Hey, Cross, bring your romance down the hall, will you? Fletcher may want to talk to the both of you.
What do you want around here? I just got into town.
I was looking for work.
You fellas hiring here? I think you'd best get out of here.
- Hold it, pal.
Freeze.
- You shouldn't ought of done that part.
Come on.
Your draw.
Is New York City preparing to declare war on New jersey? What do we do with Newark if we win? I don't know, but there's enough stuff in here to restage Normandy.
I'm going to take a look around.
- MAN: Hey, john, did you hear something? - No, I didn't hear anything.
Apparently, there's a bunch of guys in here.
Nobody said it would be easy.
Nobody said I'd get dead, either.
Trainer did.
Listen, Colt, seriously, if it looks hairy, pull out, huh? Pulling out here.
I got him! Come on! Let's go! (ENGINE STARTING) Come on! He's by the barrels.
Let's go! It's gonna blow! Completely gone.
It was a BOO-foot pier.
Come on.
I got six million bucks worth of goods tied up in that warehouse, waiting to be shipped to Central America.
Forget about it.
Whatever doesn't explode or burn, the Fire Department will seize and turn over to the cops.
They'll run it down and identify it as contraband, and then they'll back-track.
They'll back-track! It'll take those cops years to connect us with that operation.
Months maybe, but not years.
Some of those corporations were vague, -but they are a matter of record.
- All right.
Enough, huh? We're all gonna come out of this okay.
But along the way we're gonna bury that cowboy hero.
First, don't use the word "we" when you're talking about criminal matters.
I am your attorney.
Now, based on privileged information, I can hear anything you say without becoming involved.
I am not your partner.
I do not share in your profits.
- And what's the bottom line? - The bottom line is I am planning on taking an extended vacation in Mexico, with some possible future travel in Brazil and Paraguay.
I think you should consider the same.
What are you talking about? I got millions tied up around this town.
I got corporations, companies No, no, you did.
You did, but your wife already has a battery of lawyers and most of those assets are either in her name, or she knows about them.
She'll tie them up for years.
Nobody's gonna get anything that's mine.
What are you going to protect it with? Most of your guns are in jail.
And I don't have to remind you how the Longer a man stays in jail, the more Liable he is to talk to get out.
It has been a very profitable relationship for both of us, but nothing is forever.
Goodbye, Nick.
You walk out on me now, and I - I want him gone.
- I don't think so, Mr Trainer.
Not this time.
It wouldn't be business.
That's the kind of hits that cause us all the trouble.
I just gave you an order, Bleeker! I've been with you a long time, and I'll stick now.
But I'm the only gun you got.
And I figure you ought to be treating me more like a partner instead of an employee.
(CHUCKLING) Let me tell you something.
- I don't sit still for no shakedown.
- Well, you go it alone.
Bleeker Sit down.
I'll give you 25% of everything we can haul out of here.
Okay.
I like that, Nick.
All right.
We gotta empty a lot of safety deposit boxes, and we gotta get the books from the vault.
Oh, as long as we're partners, you can start paying for your own breakfast.
One more thing No matter what comes down, that cowboy is a dead man.
Right.
COLT: You know, these are $200 boots.
I don't think they'll ever dry right.
- That river I dove into was polluted.
- FINLEY: Maybe, but it's historic.
Hey, listen, what do you think about Hawaii as a place to retire? I mean, I could sit in the sun and cook my skin.
Wear flowers around my neck.
Get fat being fed by native dancers who think I'm a god.
- COLT: What is in that ice cream you're eating? - Calories.
COLT: Yeah, well you better switch to drugs.
I think you're starting to hallucinate.
FINLEY: Maybe it's just the flavor.
You know, Finley, you may be able to retire, but you're too young to "retire" retire.
You're gonna have to be doing something.
There's nothing left for guys like me to do.
We came from an era where there used to be a A broad stripe separating the good guys from the bad.
And now, that stripe has turned polka-dot grey, and it keeps getting smeared lighter by the politicians.
I'm a throwback, Colt.
I know that.
My era is finished, and I got no place to go.
But, boy, it sure was worth it.
You did it, cowboy.
You got Trainer on the run.
He's got his fall money stashed in a box in that bank under a phony name.
Now, he wouldn't touch that unless he was gonna run.
- You know that for sure? - What I know and what I can do about it are two different things.
But I know Trainer's gonna come flying out of there, and he's not gonna be too happy.
Finley, I know you're a little devious, and you take pleasure in other people's discomfort, but what did you do to him? Nothing illegal.
I just felt that his wife's attorneys had the right to know about Mr Trainer's assets.
Therefore, they put a hold on all his accounts until the courts -decide his divorce settlement.
- Trainer's broke? Broke is relative.
For him, he's broke.
He's gonna hear the same thing at three other banks, and then he's going to hit his office vault.
Well, good, now that you've got this all down to a schedule, - I can take a plane to LA.
- Oh, no, no, no.
Not exactly.
Maybe one more little thing.
- What? - Come on, come on.
TRAINER: Come on, move it! Remember the alphabet.
A, B Come on, Finley! All right, just stay here and wait.
(TYRE DEFLATING) (FINLEY HONKING) Hey, you! COLT: Watch out, he's got a gun! (sum FIRING) Get out of the car, buddy.
Move! Come on! Out! Get out! FINLEY: Hey! Get that thing out of there, will you? This is police business! Move it! Move it! I know this is a lot to ask, but police business, follow that car.
I'd love it! (FINLEY HONKING) WOMAN: Get out of my way! This is police business! (SIREN WAILING) - They said it could do 100! - Yeah, well, he's only doing 80.
Now, just pull up next to him.
WOMAN: Don't get nervous, young man.
We'll get him.
We've caught him now! - I could ram him! - Oh, no, no, no, lady.
Please.
Steady now.
Stay with him.
WOMAN: This is just Like stunt driving in the movies! - Go get him! - Pull along side of him.
- Now, hold it steady.
- Bye bye, young man.
(FINLEY HONKING) This is where you belong, Trainer, in dirt.
- You hurt bad? - I'm all right.
I'm all right.
Yeah, I know, you're too ornery to die of a gunshot wound.
Well, if you want me to drive you to the airport, you're gonna have to wait a couple of days.
Otherwise, take off as soon as you hear the siren.
If I need anything, I'll call you.
Hey, cowboy.
Thanks a lot.
You know, Finley, I'm gonna miss you.
But not that much.
Besides, you owe me a new pair of boots!