The Proud Family (2001) s02e07 Episode Script

(laughter on television)
-(door opens)
-(Oscar) Trudy!
-Penny!
-(door slams)
-(door opens)
-(Felix) Sunset?
-LaCienega?
-(door slams)
-(Oscar) Everybody!
-(door slams)
Felix, what are you guys yelling about?
Yes, Oscar, what is all this noise?
You made my cake fall.
Well, your jaw's about to fall, too.
Take a look at this baby.
It's a top-of-the-line RV,
the XLR-14225-T, mansion on wheels.
It's got it all, five bedrooms,
running water
(gulping)
satellite TV.
This thing is so big,
it has its own mayor
me.
Well, that's nice, Oscar Mayor,
but what do we need it for?
It's where we're going to be living.
We're moving to a trailer park?
Well, you're wearing
the right outfit, Proud.
No, we're not moving to a trailer park.
Well, Suga Mama might be,
but I was saving that surprise
for her birthday.
-Ow!
-(chuckling)
Now, just for that, Mama, you can't go.
Go where, Oscar?
Okay, Felix, let's tell 'em.
On three. Ready?
One, two
(both) We're going camping!
-(footsteps running)
-(door shuts)
Where did everybody go?
They were so excited,
I bet they're inside packing.
Yeah, yeah! ♪
♪The Proud Family♪
What? ♪
♪You and me will always be tight♪
♪Family, every single day and night♪
♪Even when you start acting like a fool♪
♪You know I'm loving
Every single thing you do♪
♪I know that I can always be myself♪
♪I love you more than anybody else♪
♪And every day
As I'm heading off to school♪
♪You know there's no one
I love as much as you♪
♪Family, a family♪
♪Proud Family♪
♪They'll make you scream♪
(doorbell rings)
♪They'll make you want to sing♪
♪It's a family thing, a family♪
♪Proud, Proud Family♪
♪The Proud Family♪
♪They'll push your buttons♪
♪And make you want to hug them♪
♪Family, a family ♪
Proud, Proud Family ♪
(Oscar screams)
(Oscar) ♪Rolling gently down the stream♪
♪Merrily, merrily, merrily♪
♪Life is but a dream♪
♪Row, row, row your boat
Gently down the stream♪
♪Merrily, merrily, merrily
Life is but a dream♪
Come on, everybody.
Trudy, you take the first part.
Penny, you and the kids
take the second part.
Come on!
Getting down the stream ♪
Uh, Daddy, I hate to interrupt
all this merriment
but we were wondering
if you could drop us off
at the Wild, Wild World Amusement Park
and pick us up
on your way back from camping.
You said you would love to go camping
if you could bring your friend.
Well, I didn't think
you was actually gonna go for it.
Just like I'm not going for it now.
Daddy!
-(toilet flush)
-Come on.
You kids are going to have a good time.
We'll be in the real wild, wild world.
You kids need to learn
about what it means,
to be in the woods roughing it.
In this hotel on wheels?
You call this roughing it?
Hah! (baby giggling)
That's because the key
to roughing it, Mama,
is to not do it.
Besides, bringing you along
is rough enough.
(blows raspberry)
Oscar, where are we?
We've been driving for hours.
Why don't you stop and ask for directions?
Oh, Trudy, we're fine.
Breaker, Breaker One Nine
this is Snack Man calling Hammerhead.
Hammerhead, do you read me?
Come on.
Copy that, Snack Man.
You're walking tall.
This is Hammerhead. Over.
What's our 20, Hammerhead?
The XYL is PMS.
C-C-C-C-Come on! ♪
What did you just say?
Oh, that's, uh, CB talk
for "Where are you?" and "I love my wife."
That is a big 10-4.
I'm at your back door, Snack Man.
Over.
That's a negatory, good buddy.
What's our 20?
C-C-C-C-Come on! ♪
He says he's at your back door, Oscar.
That means he's behind you.
My goodness.
Boy can barely speak English.
Now, he's trying to talk CB talk.
Oh, that's a big 10-4, Hammerhead.
I'm about to pull the plug.
I got a Suga pumpkin that needs fixing.
Ow!
(Trudy) Oscar I'm going
to breaker-breaker you
if you don't pull this house over
and ask somebody for directions.
Trudy, I tell you, we're not lost.
As a matter of fact, we can't get lost.
This baby has a state-of-the-art
navigational system.
Check it out.
(beeping)
(female voice) You are lost.
Pull over, Oscar!
There's a gas station coming up.
Let me just see where this road takes us
for the next few minutes,
and if we don't find our way,
I promise,
I'll stop at the next gas station.
(tires squealing)
They just put those signs up
to scare you. Ain't no thing.
(whimpers)
Okay, we'll-we'll we'll turn off up ahead.
(tires squealing)
(all screaming)
(screaming continues)
(screaming)
Oscar
this doesn't look too good.
Don't worry, Trudy.
This is what this baby was built for.
(screaming)
(Duke) Uh, Mr. Proud,
I think we just lost a wheel.
No problem, Duke.
We got 11 more.
(screaming)
Make that ten, dude.
Oscar, this is dangerous.
Will you please turn around now?
Trudy, I couldn't turn around
if I wanted to.
Why?
Because this baby is a runaway!
Everybody, hold on!
(all screaming)
(screaming)
Ugh. Everybody okay?
(all talking loudly)
See, everybody's having fun.
Wow!
Look! This is beautiful , Mr. Proud.
(all) Wow!
(Zoey) Look at.
See, I told you, honey.
And you were doubting me.
Well, I've got to admit it's pretty.
And what else?
You the man.
And don't you forget it.
Hey, Felix, you all right?
Yeah. It was a piece of cake,
after you mowed down those trees for us.
Now, the first thing we got to do
is pick our final campsite.
Mr. Proud, may I make a suggestion?
-Ow!
-Don't bother me, kid.
I'm making a crucial decision here.
Which means
he's about to make a crucial mistake.
Silence!
So, what do you think, Felix?
Is this a good spot?
I don't know.
I've never been camping before.
You told me you came
from a long line of campers.
I do.
I lived in a trailer park.
(clears throat)
I've made a decision.
By the power invested in me
by blah blah blah,
I hereby dub this land "Camp Proud."
Hey, my people settled
this land, too, you know.
Okay, okay, I hereby redub this land
Camp Proud-Boulevardez.
But, Dude, this is a riverbed.
If it rains, it's wipeout time, bro.
An ancient dry riverbed, son.
This riverbed hasn't seen water
since, since
Suga Mama, why don't you tell us?
You ancient and dry.
I'm not too ancient
to turn you over my knee.
Ain't that right, Papi?
(speaking Spanish) Ugh. I've seen younger
looking mummies.
(laughing)
(yawning)
Daddy, what are we going to do now?
It's boring!
What are you talking about?
We've got everything we need
to enjoy the wonders of nature.
You got video games,
DVD player and an MP3 player.
Now, go on, leave me alone.
I'll be in the family room
watching the big screen TV.
(Oscar) Hey, Felix, I feel bad for you
camping in that 2 x 4.
You can come over here if you want to.
No, no. That's all right.
We'll be okay just as soon
as I press this button.
(beep)
Can I come over to your house, Felix?
Sure. And don't forget your bowling ball.
You got a bowling alley?
(laughs)
And a helipad.
Okay, everybody
over to the Boulevardez house.
Come on, Duke.
Sorry, but, uh, but I can't
in good conscience,
camp in the middle of a riverbed.
But my dad said
this is an ancient riverbed.
Look, no offense, Penny,
but you're dad doesn't know diddly.
Where are you going, Duke?
I'm heading for high ground.
(wind howling) It feels like surf's up.
-Surf's up?
-(thunder rumbling)
Yeah, dog. What you talking about?
Dude, look at the signs.
The storm clouds, the animals are gone,
your grandmother's feet are swelling.
It all points to one thing.
The perfect wave.
I suggest you put on a lifejacket, bro.
I don't know about y'all,
but I'm rolling with the nature boy.
And I'm going anywhere Sticky goes.
I think they're overreacting.
I didn't see any animals leave the forest.
(stampede)
Okay, I'm gone.
(bowling ball hitting pins)
Penny, are you hungry? We've got lobster.
Yeah. You better get them
while they're hot.
Woo!
In a minute, Suga Mama.
(gasping)
Daddy, Duke said a storm is on the way
and that we should be headed
for high ground.
(laughs)
You hear that, Felix?
(mimicking Duke) Yo, Duke said
we should head for higher ground, dude.
(mimicking Duke) Dude, maybe he's right.
(both laugh)
(loud thunderclap)
Mama, tell me that was your stomach.
No. (grunts)
Papi?
(speaking Spanish)
What did he say?
He said,
"Finally, the angels have come for me."
-Angels?
-(loud rolling thunder)
Everybody out!
(all screaming)
Everybody back in!
(all screaming)
(Oscar) Mama!
Help! Somebody help!
Help me, somebody, please!
Help!
(gurgling)
Help!
Mr. Proud!
-Help!
-(Duke) Grab on, brudda.
Yeah, we'll pull you up.
(grunting)
(gurgling)
(Oscar) Oh. Help!
Somebody help!
What are you screaming about, boy?
They already got you out of the water.
-Lobsters! Get the lobsters!
-Don't worry, Suga Mama got them.
(Oscar) Ow, ow, ow!
Mama, stop. They're gone.
I know. I was just getting back at you
for that "ancient" joke you made.
You thought I forgot, didn't you?
Welcome, to higher ground, Mr. Proud!
(grunts) Everybody here?
Is everybody okay?
No, we're not okay, Oscar.
We're soaking wet, sitting in a tree.
(all talking)
Hey, hey, hey, now.
This is part of the camping experience.
-This is part of the plan.
-It is?
(sotto voce)
Go with me on this one, Felix.
(clears throat)
All that luxury stuff was just a decoy,
so we could compare it to,
thereby appreciate,
the real camping experience.
I hereby dub this tree
(Trudy) Oscar,
if you don't get us out of here
I hereby dub you my ex-husband.
Eh, Daddy,
what are we going to do?
The way I see it, baby girl,
we can't go down the mountain
because where there was once a valley,
there's now a 12,000 foot deep lake.
(Duke) The only way to go, dude,
is over the mountain.
That's right, Duke.
And I think we've got to put
our two best people on this.
They need to be rough, tough
and not appealing to wild animals.
Our thoughts and prayers
will be with you, Sugar Mama and Papi.
(Trudy) Oscar!
Okay! Okay!
We'll draw straws.
The two shortest straws take the hike.
Felix, pass out the straws.
(pick hitting ice, grunting)
(grunting, groaning)
I don't get it, Felix.
I told you to give Suga Mama and Papi
the short straws.
(shivering) My b-bad, Oscar.
I thought you said the l-longest straws.
(distant roaring)
(Felix) Did you hear something?
Just my kn-knees kn-knocking.
(roaring)
(roars)
(screaming)
(grunting)
Look! Quick, duck into the cave!
(both yelling)
(roars)
(Oscar) Man! That was close.
(Felix) Yeah. What was that thing?
(Oscar) I don't know.
It looked like Suga Mama
when she forgets to shave her back.
(Felix) At least it's warm inside here.
(Oscar) Yeah, the air's a little stale,
but it's safe.
-Uh, Felix?
-Yeah?
-Blink your eyes twice for me.
-Sure.
Now, the thing next to Felix,
blink your eyes twice, please.
Felix, I think we have company.
Aw, look at that little squirrel.
What are you doing here?
I know. He's lunch and we're dinner.
(all scream)
-(screaming)
-(growling)
(screaming)
(yelling)
(gasps)
(screaming)
(growling)
(groans)
(wind gusting)
Ow! Ow!
(screams)
-(snickers)
-(thud)
I tell you, Felix, if we get out of this,
I'll never go camping again.
Camping?
I'll never go into my backyard again.
Wait. What's this?
Brunswick! My lucky bowling ball!
Oscar, this is a sign.
You feeling all right, Felix?
Great. Because if Brunswick
can take the cold,
I can take the cold.
I don't have to start sleeping
with one eye open, do I?
No. Because Brunswick will protect us.
I guess that's my answer.
Hey, I wonder how our families are doing.
They're probably starving without us.
(squeaking)
(line popping)
Got another one, Puff. Hehe!
We got a whole litter of catfish.
(speaking Spanish) With choppers like that,
she could snag Moby Dick.
(laughs)
Come on in, the water's great.
I'm not going in there.
Yeah, there are probably
bugs and fish in there.
Look, a snake.
-(all scream)
-(splashing)
(laughs) Psych!
That wasn't funny, Sticky.
Dinner is ready.
Last one to the camp is a rotten egg!
Come on, Sticky.
Ooh, let's be rotten together.
Dijonay!
What are these leaves for?
Those are your plates.
Yeah, they also make
excellent toilet paper.
(both) Ew!
(Trudy) Okay, who wants
some free-range larvae?
(both) Ew!
Or, who would rather have
some of Suga Mama's
catfish fritters?
(all) Fritters! Suga Mama!
A penny for your thoughts.
Do you think Daddy is okay, Mama?
I'm sure he and Felix,
are sitting around a warm fire,
just like we are.
Be careful, Felix. (shivering)
That's our last match.
Man, if we don't get that fire,
we're going to be popsicles
by the morning.
(wind gusting)
(echoing) No!
Wait a minute.
Let me try something.
What are you doing?
My mama always told me,
my ankles were so rusty,
they could start a fire.
Suga Mama was right!
I made a fire.
I made fire!
Unless you made a steak
to put on that flame
there is nothing to celebrate.
Wait a minute.
Do you have something to eat, Oscar?
Uh, uh. Felix,
have you tried any of this snow?
It's actually very tasty.
I know you got some snacks
in there somewhere, Snack Man.
-Come here.
-Ow!
(grunting)
Aha! I knew it!
Hey!
Fire in the hole!
(screaming)
Oh! Hey, look, shooting stars!
(gasping)
Everybody, hurry. Make a wish.
I hope my daddy and Mr. Boulevardez
are safe and warm.
Wow, what do you make
those things out of, Oscar?
It's a special Fourth of July blend.
It's pretty cool, huh?
Well, now we've got no food, or heat.
Can't you start another fire?
No. I'm like a match.
One strike and that's it.
Well, I guess we'll just have
to warm each other up.
Why don't you curl up
with old Brunswick over there?
'Cause it ain't that cold, caballero.
All right, be that way.
Don't worry, I will.
(wind gusting)
-(birds chirping)
-I know, Brunswick.
I'm hungry, too. We'll eat soon.
-Why are you talking to that bowling ball?
-(panting)
And why are you looking at me
like that, Boulevardez?
Why are you looking
at me like that, Oscar?
I think you know why.
You're looking kind of tasty there.
(screams) Oscar, snap out of it, man!
Get a hold of yourself.
I'm sorry, man.
I'm just so hungry! Man, I got to eat!
You see what I see?
I saw it first.
Uh, fellas, uh, you're making a mistake.
(nervous chuckle)
I'm a bowling ball.
(shattering)
I can't take it anymore, Oscar.
Just fry me up, man. I'm done.
Okay.
But remember, you asked for it.
Hey, hey, hey! I was kidding!
Quiet. Look.
That's a real giant chicken egg.
If you can do that match thing
with your ankles again, Oscar,
in about 30 seconds,
we're going to be neck-deep
in some huevos rancheros.
Shoot! I'm going to make me
a scrambled egg soup.
Stand back.
It's time to crack some eggs.
(screaming)
(crying)
I think she's taking us to her nest!
Aw, this is great!
We're going to be food
for some baby pterodactyls.
(mother pterodactyl calling)
(chirping)
(giggling hysterically)
-(laughing)
-(Oscar) Good! Any more?
Mmm, you know,
this pre-chewed tapeworm ain't that bad.
Yeah, tastes like chicken.
I wish we had some hot sauce.
You know,
I could get used to this, Big O.
Three squares a day,
mama bathes us with her tongue.
Now, all we need is a big screen
and we would truly be in heaven.
How long do you think
she's going to let us stay here?
I don't know,
until mother thinks we can fly?
You're starting to scare me, Felix.
-Why?
-Get down here!
Now, look, we've got
to make a break for it.
What for?
We have to save our families.
Now, look, we're not far.
I saw the gas station just over the ridge
when big bird flew us in.
Now, we'll make a break
after our next feeding
when everybody is sleeping it off.
-(snoring)
-(Oscar) Felix!
(shrieks)
Felix, run!
(both yelling)
(screaming)
Trudy! Penny! Mama!
Sunset! LaCienega! Papi!
(Oscar) What the?
Hey, everybody.
Daddy, you made it!
(clears throat)
Yeah, we're here to rescue you.
(all) Rescue?
Daddy, we're doing fine.
Yeah, we're totally
self-sufficient, Mr. Proud.
Wait a minute.
I thought you guys wanted
to go to Wild, Wild World.
(Dijonay) Do we have to, Mr. Proud?
We're living wild right here.
Ain't that right, Sticky?
Yeah, Daddy, we're having fun.
I don't know, Oscar.
Do we take 'em back, or let 'em stay?
I have to do what's right
for my family, Felix.
So I guess we'll have to let 'em stay.
(girls cheer)
Wow, they sure made a turnaround.
(Trudy) You know, honey,
I gave you a hard time on the way up here,
but I must admit,
this was a great idea.
You two did good.
I don't know how, but you did it.
Thank you, wife.
And thank you, wife.
Look, Oscar, it's beautiful, isn't it?
(crickets chirping)
-Hey, girl.
-Have you seen Felix?
No. Why?
He said he was going to hang out
with his brothers at the nest,
but they haven't seen him.
So, I thought he might have
been talking about you, Oscar.
Nah. I don't think
he was talking about me.
(pterodactyl calling)
Come on, share the love.
(caws)
(whistles)
(cawing)
Share the love, Mama.
Bring it on.
(laughs)
(screeching)
(theme music playing)