The Sex Lives of College Girls (2021) s02e07 Episode Script

Oh, yeah. Don't stop.
No. No, no.
Yes, yes, yes!
- Tell me how much you like it.
- I like it so much!
I'm so close.
Are you hearing this too?
I just scheduled an emergency Zoom
with my therapist.
Oh, my God! Jackson,
that feels so good. Keep going.
What are we gonna do?
Should we pull the fire alarm?
No. Have you never watched a rom-com?
Being rained on only makes people hornier!
- Wowie zowie!
- I'm gonna cut my ears off.
Let's just get out of here
because if I hear how this ends,
I'll never recover.
Keep thrusting your penis,
it's happening!
Go, go, go.
Hey, Canaan.
I'm sorry I'm late.
I hit traffic on the way.
Twice.
I refuse to interpret that
as a sex thing.
- Sorry you hit traffic.
- Twice.
- Where's Lila?
- She's not here.
She at some coffee bean vendor
in Brattleboro.
I'm really impressed with how well
she's adapted to this manager thing.
Oh, yes. So is she.
In fact, she actually made herself
Employee of the Month.
Hey, can I talk to you two for a minute?
I'm Jodi, your union rep.
- Oh, my God, hi!
- We're in a union?
Yeah, the Essex Food Service Workers.
Did you not send away for your union card?
It's one of my prized possessions,
even though they spelled
my name "Krimberly."
Well, we're going on strike.
Amazing.
I am a union gal, and I stand with you
no questions asked.
I do have questions, though.
What's the strike about?
Essex hasn't given us a raise since 1988.
We're drastically underpaid
compared to other schools.
This about getting more money? I'm in.
I would love to be able to take a girl
anywhere other than this coffee shop.
Perfect. The dining hall workers
are walking out at noon today.
Just so you know, the administration
isn't going to be happy with us.
Well, Jodi, they freaking started it.
So, can we start striking now?
Because I would love
to not have to do inventory.
And while the strike
is going on,
none of us go to Sips, the dining hall,
or any other campus eatery.
Sorry, but did we agree
to do this with you?
I'm not trying to be a bitch,
I'm just genuinely confused.
Okay, I'll be the bitch.
What are we supposed to eat?
Eggs. I have six soft-boiling
in the egg cooker right now.
That's what that smell is.
Guys, can we pause
this egg talk for a minute?
I have something to tell you.
Are you good? What's going on?
I don't know.
I think I might've fucked up.
I cheated on Eric.
With that standup, Dan O'Connell.
You hooked up with Dan O'Connell?
- Was he drunk?
- Dude!
Well, he's famous.
I'm just trying to understand all this.
Are you gonna tell Eric?
I don't think so. He's gonna be so upset.
Well, I still think you should tell him.
Honesty is the best policy,
even if it's hard.
I don't think so. I think
I'm gonna take this one to the grave.
Or my one-woman show,
whichever one comes first.
Yummy, the eggs are ready!
Does anyone want nature's protein bar?
Hot! Hot, hot!
I think we should wait.
So, what is the least amount of time
I can spend at Kimberly's protest
without seeming like a bad friend?
Hopefully zero, 'cause I can't go at all.
I have a hot date with the second floor
of the Goldenberg Science Building.
I say this with love and respect,
but you've become a dork
and I'm struggling to be seen
with you in public.
I'm not gonna apologize
for loving science.
It's the final lab of the trimester
and I need to kill it.
Oh, shit, Leighton,
here comes your doppelbanger.
Leighton!
Hey.
Hey, Tatum. Where are you coming from?
I just finished
the most amazing Pilates class.
- You would have loved it.
- Reformer or mat?
Both, babe.
Hey, do you wanna get dinner tonight?
Like, a restaurant?
Just to be clear,
I'm not a dining hall person.
I can't. I have plans with Whitney,
but I could maybe meet up
for coffee between classes.
Okay.
Bye.
Hey, what was that? We don't have plans.
I know.
I lied.
I think Tatum might be cooler than me.
She is.
She also has a better energy than you.
And I've never dated up before,
so I am trying to find ways
to maintain my high status.
- Like walking away mid-conversation?
- Yes.
And also not responding
to her Instagram stories,
making my schedule seem crazy busy,
and taking at least four hours
to respond to a text.
Twenty-four hours
if the text is a question.
And you're not worried
all that will push her away?
I would be,
except she just texted,
"Nice bumping into you."
Oh.
That's a slay.
She's right. That was a slay.
- What do we want?
- Fair wages!
- When do we want it?
- Now!
I led the cheer!
Isn't this electrifying?
Bringing about change?
Are we, though?
Because people are walking
into the dining hall right in front of us.
Why aren't people listening to us?
History is watching!
I think it's that rich students
don't care about poor people.
Also, it's cheesesteak day.
And Essex cheesesteaks slap.
They are really good.
Well, I'm not hungry. I brought eggs.
Did you just pull that out of your pocket?
- I came to play! Do you want one?
- I really don't.
I'll take one
to stop this conversation.
Hey.
- Hey.
- What's going on?
The food workers are on strike
demanding better wages.
Whoa. That's badass.
Yeah. I wish everyone felt that way.
We're trying to get the students
to boycott the dining hall,
but it's really hard
getting people to care.
Yeah. That sucks.
Well, I really gotta go,
but I hope it gets better for you.
Thanks.
Pick a cheesesteak over you? He did.
You saw that, right?
Yeah, I saw it.
I can't believe how many
good ideas I came up with.
Forty pitches. What am I? Comedy genius?
- Can you pick your favorite two?
- No.
Bela?
Cover the board.
He's gonna steal our ideas!
I'm not here for your tampon jokes.
I'm just here to talk to Bela.
We're in the middle of a pitch meeting.
Well, it's not gonna take long.
I just have one question.
Did you have sex with Dan O'Connell?
- No.
- Don't lie to me.
My friend Matt works on his show
and he said Dan told his entire staff
that he had sex with a girl at Essex.
And you're just assuming it's me?
That could be any girl.
- Yeah!
- Exactly.
He described her as
"an insatiable Indian chick
who wouldn't stop quoting 30 Rock."
All right, that does sound like Bela.
- Eric, I am so sorry.
- I can't fucking believe you!
Okay, that's enough.
Bela's allowed to hook up
with whoever she wants.
It's not like you were exclusive.
Actually, we were.
Okay. Well, maybe she didn't wanna be.
She asked me!
Oh, boy.
Okay. I know I messed up,
but I can explain.
I don't wanna hear it. We're done.
What a jerk, right?
Yelling at a woman like that?
All right.
I'm about to call Senator Chase,
one of the most influential women
of our time, and ask her for help.
Just remember,
she's a senator, but she's also a person,
so just try and keep it casual.
Casual. Got it.
- Kimberly?
- Senator Chase!
To say it is a pleasure
is clearly an understatement!
That is casual to you?
Honey, take it down a notch.
When you shout, my security gets nervous.
It's okay, Derek.
It's just my daughter's shrill roommate.
Now, why are you calling me, Kimberly?
I wanted to talk to you
about the importance of unions.
In the fall of 1794,
William G. Tanner
and the Countrymen Cordwainers
of Philadelphia went on strike.
I'm going to pass this call
onto my assistant,
but she will take thorough notes.
Senator Chase, wait!
The food service workers at Essex
are on strike
because we're getting paid less
than the other schools.
And we'd really appreciate your help.
Sorry, have we met?
Yes. I'm Canaan.
I dated your daughter.
Didn't you dump her?
Yes.
- Pass me back to Kimberly.
- Okay.
Senator Chase, we really need you
to come speak at our rally.
It would change everything.
- You're such a hero to the working class.
There are real people here
who need your help.
People who deserve so much better
than what they're getting,
but who aren't strong enough
to fight for themselves.
They need someone like you.
Specifically you because
we don't know any other powerful people.
Kimberly, I'm in.
It worked? My speech moved you?
It did, but I also owe Whitney a visit,
so your timing's good.
I'll take it! A win's a win.
Hello?
- She hung up.
- Yeah.
Hi.
Hey. You look cute.
Oh, thanks. So do you.
I'm surprised you made it.
You seemed so busy today.
I still am. My phone is, like, blowing up.
Fifty-three notifications.
It's like, Kappa, chill.
I just got into Kappa.
Yikes. I'm sorry.
Why?
Oh, Kappa tried to tap me last year,
and the Greek scene just isn't my thing.
It all feels a little basic and fake.
At least to me.
Yeah. Well, Kappa's, like,
not my entire social life.
I actually have a few friend groups
that I bounce around between.
Like, tomorrow I am going out partying
with my crazy party friends.
And they are crazy.
Well, I'm free tomorrow.
Is it cool if I join?
- Like, come to the party?
- Yeah.
I would literally love that.
Amazing.
I'm screwed.
- You got chlamydia again?
- No.
No. I lied to impress Tatum,
and now I have to take her
to a cool party that doesn't exist.
I know something that exists. My rally!
No, I'm not bringing her to that.
But it's gonna be epic.
I've arranged for five pallets
of Kirkland water,
a whole lot of solidarity,
and a very special guest.
She convinced my mom to come.
None of us are happy about it.
This is gonna be
the biggest news on campus
since the Divinity School orgy.
Hey, mama! Could I yell at you
out here real quick?
Come on, string bean,
I don't have all day!
What the hell?
I leave for one day and you go on strike?
Look, I know you're upset.
Of course I'm upset!
I'm management. I can't go on strike.
Sure, you can.
If we win, we all get paid more!
- Don't you wanna make more money?
- Of course I do. I love money.
I'm saving up for a tattoo
that says just that.
Then stand with us!
Frankly, we could use
someone of your height.
I can't join you.
I could get fired.
So, what are you gonna do?
You're gonna cross the picket line
and run Sips all by yourself?
Maybe. I don't know.
- You're putting me in a bad spot.
- We're all in a bad spot.
I'm just trying to do something about it.
Jocelyn knows what I'm talking about.
Don't drag me
into your public fight.
I fight in private like a lady.
I'm leaving before
I slap you in the titties.
You're the loudest typer
I've ever heard in my life.
I can't focus.
You're not even working.
You're playing on your phone.
I'm not playing on my phone.
I'm online shopping for swim shoes.
I have very sensitive toes.
There she is,
- my favorite daughter!
- Never not funny, Mom.
So, this is the place
you've been spending all your time.
I like it!
I love this cup.
It's a beaker.
Senator Chase, it's an honor to meet you.
On behalf of my entire generation,
thank you for believing in climate change.
Well, aren't you nice!
And, on behalf of my entire generation,
I'm sorry we caused it.
That's not
my official position.
This is Andrew,
and he's clearly kissing up to you.
Do you wanna see my lab bench?
Honey, I'm so proud of you
for sticking with this.
In fact, I have a surprise for you.
I called in a favor
and lined up an internship
for you this summer
at the National Institute of Health!
The NIH.
so nice.
Are you not excited?
No, no, I am. It's just,
I was sort of looking at some internships
and kinda wanted to get one on my own.
So, you don't want my help?
I appreciate it,
but, you know, when you get involved,
it changes the way people see me.
Well, I guess I will tell them
you're not interested.
Yeah.
All right. I'm off to see President Lacey.
Senator, before you go,
can I get a pic with you?
- It's for my mom.
- Absolutely.
- Thank you. Whitney, here, you take it.
- Yeah.
Great. Should we do like a funny one?
- I don't do funny ones.
- Understood.
Okay. Have a good day, Ma'am.
- Here.
- Thanks, Whit.
Senator Chase, despite what you
may have heard from picketing workers,
the administration cares deeply
about the entire Essex community,
which is why I wanted to show you this!
What am I looking at?
This is our new mental health bubble.
I'm sorry, what in the white nonsense
are you talking about?
With mental health being
so important these days,
we wanted to create a comfy place
where sad students
can sit on a West Elm chair
and reflect on their issues
until they're happy again.
This mid-century biodome
isn't a fix for the mental health crisis!
This is even more proof
of how out of touch this college is!
Yes. Exactly. I'm so in agreement
with you that it's eerie.
It's just, with the money
the administration blew on this,
you'd think you could afford to pay
student workers more.
First off, this wasn't that expensive.
The fuzzy chairs were donated.
And when it comes to the union protest,
the board won't budge.
No matter who's applying the pressure.
Well, President Lacey,
it seems we're at an impasse.
So the Senator and I should get back
to prepping our rally,
which will continue as planned.
It's gonna be fun. I hope you can make it.
The key is to not look back at him,
no matter how badly you want to.
Oh, my God, yes, I love this.
Oh, man, are you okay?
Don't worry, I didn't look back.
Hey, Jocelyn,
can I pick your brain for a sec?
Fine, but let's keep it quick.
I'm trying to learn Portuguese
before my date with an exchange student.
Right, well,
do you know of any cool parties
on campus tonight?
Maybe something underground and elite?
Why are you asking like you're a cop?
Hold up, are you trying to get me busted
for selling Adderall?
No. That's not it.
- Oh.
- Look, I really need to impress someone
and I don't know who else to ask.
Okay, so I really
shouldn't be telling anyone,
but I know an intern
at the Essex Art Gallery,
and apparently
they're sneaking some people in
for a secret party there tonight.
Inside the gallery?
Oh, my God, that's perfect.
Okay. Can you get me in?
Well, aren't we thirsty today?
I'll see what I can do.
Eric, I know you're in there.
Obviously you're upset, and you should be,
but I'm not leaving until you talk to me.
Eric's dads?
You must be Bela. What do you want?
First, I know we haven't met,
but I just wanted to say that
Flattery is not gonna work on us,
young lady.
You broke our boy's heart.
He's eaten three whole
Sbarro-sized slices of pizza today,
and you know that's a lot for him.
- Please just let me explain.
- Save it.
If you really cared about Eric,
you never would have put him through this.
- It was just one stupid mistake.
- Babe, I can't. You deal with her.
You've toyed with his heart for months.
He's better off without you.
- Leave him alone.
- Could I just talk to him for a second?
Eric's busy.
And he wants his copy
of Steve Martin's autobiography back.
Posting this is going to get so many more
students to come support us.
And when President Lacey sees it,
he's gonna flip.
Good. 'Cause he's a little shit.
Wait, you're not recording, are you?
- I did not say that.
- She didn't say that.
Oh, I'm not recording yet,
but I took the liberty
of writing a little script.
It's eight pages, single-spaced,
but if you read fast,
I think we can get it under a minute.
- Yeah, I'm not saying this.
- Oh.
- Is this a poem at the end?
- It's a song.
No.
Although, I do like this quote.
"Humankind's greatest strength
lies in its labor."
That's from one of Essex's founders.
It's actually inscribed on the plaque
right next to you.
Smart!
You know, you remind me of myself
when I was your age.
Really?
Senator, that means so much to me.
Would you write that on my LinkedIn?
Sure! Chelsea, can you do that
off your account?
- Kimberly!
- Jackson, hey!
This is my friend, Senator Evette Chase.
Hi. Nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you.
- Yeah.
We're working on getting the word out
about my big rally.
Wait, is that from the dining hall?
Yeah, I needed some study fuel.
You would not believe
how many shrimp I fit in this puppy.
Seriously?
You know we're protesting the dining hall
and not eating there
to make a point, right?
Yeah, I knew you were.
I didn't realize
you expected me to do the same.
Well, it would be nice
if you supported me.
All right, I'll throw this away.
Thank you.
Damn, that's a wide young man.
Oh. This is chic.
I didn't know they had parties in here.
Yeah, not a lot of people do.
How did you find out about this?
Just, like, knowing the right people.
My friend is an intern here,
Wow, well, I am impressed.
Get used to it.
Tatum?
Laird! What are you doing here?
This is my party! Isn't she cute?
Wait, you're Leighton's friend
who planned this?
- Who?
- Didn't you say your friend planned this?
I don't know Laird.
I was actually talking about someone else.
Wait, I'm sorry, is someone else
trying to take credit for my party?
Who said they planned this?
- Jen who?
You know,
I can't recall her last name right now,
but I will go find her.
Kimberly! Look at this turnout!
This is amazing!
I know! Your mom is the best.
Working with her today was incredible.
Good.
Hey, Whit.
Hi.
- It's good to see you.
- Yeah.
I'm gonna go pass out water.
- Okay.
- Sure.
- You been good?
- Yes.
- You?
- Yeah.
- Sure. I'll take a sign.
- Want a sign?
Uh, hey.
Lila, you came!
Oh, no, are you here to counterprotest?
No, I overreacted yesterday.
You were right.
I don't want to be the man.
I hate the man.
Unless, the man is 6'8"
with a British accent.
Well, I know it took a lot
for you to be here.
And I really appreciate you coming.
Girl, I stand with you.
I don't care if I get in trouble.
- Did you just put on a disguise?
- No. No, no, no.
This is just my new style.
But if anyone asks, my name is not Lila.
It's Charmaine Raphael.
- Are these free?
- Uh, yeah.
Thank you. Out of my way!
Students of Essex!
Thank you so much for coming out
to show your support
for Essex's food workers!
It is my honor to introduce
everybody's favorite girl boss,
Senator Evette Chase!
I thought we agreed
not to use the term "girl boss."
But you are a girl boss.
You have to own it.
Ma'am, wait. There's an issue
with the video you tweeted out.
Oh, no, did the sound not sync?
I shot it on my iPhone 6.
No, it's something else.
Apparently that Essex founder
you spoke about owned slaves.
People are coming at you pretty hard,
saying you're glorifying him.
To quote the illustrious Winston Moore,
"Humankind's greatest strength
lies in its labor." He got it right.
Kimberly, what the hell?
You had me quoting a slave owner?
Maybe no one will notice.
They already did!
Eric? Hey. Wait!
Stop. Okay, that's fair,
you don't need to stop, just listen.
What do you want?
Look, I'm sorry I fucked up,
I need you to forgive me
because I feel really shitty right now.
- You need me to forgive you?
- I really do. I feel terrible.
Well, you should.
And it shouldn't be about what you need,
it's about what I need, so leave me alone.
Eric, please. I wish I could take it back.
You mean a lot to me.
Do I? Because it seems like
you spend all your time
trying to get people to like you,
but then when someone like me
actually does, I'm not enough.
You immediately focus on
winning over someone else.
You know what? I'm gonna delete
your number from my phone right now,
if you wanna watch.
There we go. Goodbye, Bela.
Let's get you out of here
before you have to make a comment.
Wait! Don't go! We still need you!
Senator, the car is waiting.
But isn't it better to address this
right away, head on?
I will issue a statement tomorrow.
But rather than let
the news cycle take hold
and spin this into something bigger,
what if you got ahead of it
and took charge of the narrative yourself?
Yes, I accidentally quoted
a problematic individual.
Let's be real, he owned slaves.
I should have googled him.
But do not let my mistake
distract from why I'm really here.
To support the hard-working
employees of Essex College,
who deserve better treatment.
Who deserve a living wage.
And rest assured,
we're gonna get that for them!
And once that's done,
I'm gonna get that slave owner's
plaque removed, too.
Yes, we will do this!
You're beautiful!
I am here to tell you,
we will do this!
Hey.
did you lie about knowing
who planned this party?
Uh, yeah.
Yeah, I did.
Lied right to your face.
I have never met anyone here
and I barely knew this museum existed.
Why would you do that?
I think you maybe are cooler than me.
Oh, I am.
Leighton, I'm not secretly calculating
how cool you are
and deciding if you're worth my time.
I asked you to hang out tonight
because I wanted to spend time with you.
Because I already like you.
Wait. So, you still like me after this?
That speaks really poorly of you.
What can I say? I'm into damaged women.
I'm kidding.
I like you because you're hot.
Oh, really?
Senator, always a pleasure to see you.
Always a pleasure.
How was that?
Oh, he's terrified.
They are going to agree
to the union's demands.
That's so great.
Mom, I want to apologize for earlier.
I don't wanna seem ungrateful.
Oh, honey, I get it.
It's just that I've worked so hard
to achieve my goals.
I just wanted to help.
But I respect you
wanting to do it on your own.
Thank you.
Well, make no mistake. It feels dumb.
I set up your idiot cousin Adam
with a hedge fund,
and now he owns a yacht.
But you are so much smarter than him,
so I know you can do it.
I really think I can.
I mean, it's only been one class,
but it kinda clicks for me.
Well, remember,
if it stops clicking,
I can text Meghan Markle and get you
a job as her assistant like that.
Okay.
Not bad for a girl from Gilbert.
Hey. Getting in a late-night workout?
Yeah, just a quick set while I study.
That's how I study too.
I'm sorry if I was
a little sharp with you earlier.
No. No, I deserved it.
I was being inconsiderate,
which is why I got us this.
I figured you might be hungry.
Oh, my God, I'm starving.
You swear it's not from the dining hall?
I swear. It took an hour to get delivered,
so it's cold and it won't be good.
Sounds perfect.
Seriously, I need to eat first.
Okay.
Ugh, my brain is fried.
I mean, I killed this lab, but not sure
I could spell my own name right now.
It was cool meeting your mom earlier.
I mean, her policies are kind of insane
and not tenable,
but I did slide into her DMs
about that internship you turned down.
Oh, my God. Are you kidding me?
You are so opportunistic, it's insane.
It's not insane.
I just know what I want.
Don't you?