The Wrong Girl (2016) s02e07 Episode Script
Season 2, Episode 7
1 Look, I don't mind making your ex jealous, but Hey! don't you think I deserve a date? My resignation, effective immediately.
Is this really what you want? Yep.
I'm going to be an expectant mother.
- Wow.
- No! No, not yet.
But I will.
I'm going to be.
DALE: I've always thought I'd be a good father.
Submit your headshot and a bio.
Perhaps I will.
Tick, tick, Dad.
If Jack ever asks, if it ever just comes up whether we ever Whether we ever? - Whether we ever - Whether we ever.
I know what you need.
A sex specialist.
Sorry.
Do you know you haven't congratulated me yet? Well, congratulations.
You don't think I should marry Jack? That's not a fair question.
Changed my mind about the long engagement.
- Really? - Yep.
Let's rush into it.
SIMONE: Excuse me! Lil, nearly there! Oh! Too many grown-ups.
Too many grown-ups.
Push! Push! That I was close to calling it quits Now I'm a walking cliche All living in the moment and all that - (DOG BARKS) - SIMONE: Okay, ready? I'm not gonna cry.
I'm not gonna cry.
Open.
Oh.
I mean, it's hard to visualise, but every panel's gonna tell a tell a story.
I need more pins.
Why does the dress have to tell a story? It's just a dress.
SIM works best under pressure.
Yes, well, this is pressure.
Darling, I've still got the Rachel Gilbert on hold.
Shh, no, Mum.
The thing is, do you really like it? Yes, I love it.
Oh! No, no, no! Out, out! Avert your eyes! Ignore her.
She's taken Mimzilla to the next level.
No, no.
This family has not had a successful marriage in generations.
Do you want to risk superstition? - I'll be in the bedroom.
- Mm-hm.
Oh, she is a one woman bonbonnière sweatshop out there and she is killing me.
Yeah, no, I I can change that.
I only booked it because the reviews Hey.
(WHISPERS) Is that your mum? Can I talk to her? Yeah, okay, well, I'll send new options through now.
Yep.
Flights too.
Okay.
Bye.
Yep.
They really care about the hotel, huh? They just don't do anything that's not 100% convenient for them at all times.
Jack Winters, was that venting? That did not sound very Zen.
(SIGHS) What did you think of the wedding dress, really? Well, I know you don't like it.
When you lie, you go blank-eyed and you pause.
Do I? It's the pause.
It's your tell.
It's a dead giveaway.
I didn't know that.
Lil, the seating chart isn't gonna arrange itself! I hate getting married.
See, now, that I believe.
- And what's that scar? - Um - That's duck fat.
Yep.
- Uh-huh.
- (CHUCKLES) Short rib.
- Wow.
And I've got another standard knife wound.
- Oh, yeah.
- Yeah.
Well, when I was six, I ran into the table.
- See that? - No.
- It's pretty hard-core.
- There's nothing there.
- It was like three stitches.
- Really? Wow.
That's so impressive.
Thank you.
It was.
WOMAN: Where's Daddy, Manisha? - Let's find Daddy.
- Oh, shit.
I thought they were out.
IVAN: Pete, do you want breakfast? I'm making an açai bowls.
The way you like them.
Get out of bed, you lazy bugger.
Ivan's here too.
Yep, that's that's my dad.
Hey! - Good morning! - Hi.
Nice to meet you.
This is a beautiful home.
Nice to meet you.
Hi.
Oh, sorry.
We have been asking him to have you over and we wanted to thank you because before he was just a little bit grouchy.
Grouchy? No.
To put it mildly.
No, I don't think I can take credit for that.
Oh, no, you can.
Wow, he is definitely gorgeous.
You mean you mean Pete? No.
Manisha.
She.
She.
Manisha's a she.
Mm.
Oh, my God.
I've talked to you about Manisha, haven't I? Yes.
Oh, don't worry about it.
It happens all the time.
See, this is why you should dress her in pink.
Anyway, gender's fluid these days, isn't it? Açai, anyone? - That'd be great.
- Yep.
Wow.
You two.
Communication.
Açai! Yum, yum, yum, yum! Lily, what are you doing here? I work here.
Not two days before your wedding.
What if you were hit a car? What if something hits you in the face? What if a vending machine just falls down and I'm calling your mother.
Is she more ridiculous than usual? She's excited for you.
It's nice.
We would have invited you but then we'd have to invite everyone.
Alice was invited.
Yes, Alice is my brother's girlfriend.
Anyway, you hate weddings.
Sappy poems and smug PDAs.
Yes, but I like heckling.
You ready to pitch or do you have another hair appointment? SASHA: Six weeks and you haven't put forward one eligible co-host/option/ anything remotely intelligent.
I've started to grieve Eric.
I still think the brave thing to do is embrace the fact that we have two powerful women on the couch.
(SCOFFS) Coming from one about to slip on a white dress and pretend she has a hymen.
Luckily, I have found the unicorn.
Liam Johnson.
Print journo originally.
Won a Walkley by the age of 24 and he was put on the investigation team at The Oz.
He then moved to Nightwatch where he was let go after a month for being too smutty and commercial.
And unique selling point.
This is what he looks like with his shirt off.
(SINGS HIGH NOTE) He is a bloody unicorn.
Mm-hm.
How are you gonna top it? I can't.
I was gonna pitch the exact same person.
Oh, it's easy to jump on that bandwagon now.
Will you look at that.
Get him in for a meeting and make sure you do a proper background.
I want to know who I'm getting into bed with.
I'm happy to do the personal approach if you want to pre Pre-negotiate with his agent.
There's no point going too far down that road.
Too far down that road if we can't afford him.
- Stop doing that.
- What? It's good! We're in sync.
Lily! Boss lady! - Bernard.
Hi.
- Hi, hi.
Mwah, mwah.
Yeah, this is Jeremy.
He works with Pete.
Oh, yes! God, I remember when the book was just a little twinkle in his grey-green eyes.
Yeah, then there was the late nights, the two of us just nursing that little bundle of brilliance.
And now a TV show.
What next? (CHUCKLES) He's come a long way.
We've worked really hard.
Yeah, totes.
And here he is now.
Pete, your harem.
- Great! Good.
- How are you going, buddy? Yeah.
This way, shall we? - Oh, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Follow me.
Ah, look, you go.
I was gonna get those! Don't have the ankles, though.
Oh, this will be interesting.
Um, so the surprise hens' night.
I'm assuming you're all across that.
There was no talking Sim out of that one.
And should I should I come? Why wouldn't you? Is this about not being a bridesmaid? I imagine flower girl at least.
Sorry I've been distant.
It's a busy time.
I've just been focusing.
It's a race and there is a finish line and I'm not stopping for Lucozade, no sir.
I'm just wedding.
Run towards wedding.
Does that make sense? Apart from the image of you in a sporting context, yeah.
Totally.
Um, I'd better get in there.
(CLEARS THROAT) You used to only have one friend.
Now look at you.
Lucky you got in early, huh? How do you think Lil's going? I think she's on track.
Like she knows historically now is when she should be freaking out, so she's determined not to freak out.
Do you want me to have a go at that? Um (LAUGHS) That was terrible.
Uh, so I haven't invited Alice to the hens' thing, but if you would like? Oh, no, thank you.
She She's in Townsville for her great-uncle's funeral.
Oh, cool.
Not not cool.
No, not cool.
Did you see that letter about renewing the lease? Yeah, 20 bucks.
Not the worst in terms of increases but still, vultures, hey? Yeah, I've actually been thinking of going north side.
Embrace the whole manic pixie clichïe before I get old.
Right, okay.
And if things keep going well with you and Alice, you won't want to commit to me for (CLEARS THROAT) another year.
Yeah, good point.
How's that? It's perfect.
Arguing that you don't care about the right to privacy because you have nothing to hide is no different than saying that you don't care about free speech because you have nothing to say.
But sure, you know, let's collect the meta-data and crucify Snowden because he's the bad guy.
(DOOR CLOSES) Hi.
I'm Lily Woodward from The Breakfast Bar.
We spoke with your agent? I didn't know that I still had one of those.
What are you drinking? Diet Coke, please.
No.
No? No.
Okay, a beer would be great, thanks.
So you're the mob who want to put him back on the TV? I'd like to talk to him about it, yeah.
You know you should take Fitzy in for an audition.
Finest journo in the country.
And not a scrap of human compassion.
Well, I hope that's not what you think of us.
The Breakfast Bar tries hard to present a balanced view on lots of human issues.
Would you like to try that one again? We don't always succeed in our aim.
Your show tries hard to make good television, period.
And you've got a hole on your couch.
Albrechtsen was on the right and you've got Erica on the left - and you've got the vomiting one - Nikkii.
who has no firm opinions, although she could be a genius.
We wouldn't be pushing you to be Eric 2.
0, if that's what you're worried about.
We like the scope of your background.
He doesn't care about politics.
He's a contrarian.
You go day, he goes night.
Don't listen to him.
He's wearing a diaper under those pants.
Ahh.
Fight and the smell of blood.
That's what gets him out of bed in the morning.
At any rate, we like you, and you haven't exactly been overwhelmed with offers.
Not since Nightwatch.
What happened there? I was fired.
But you'd know that if you'd done your research.
I heard you weren't up to the job.
Poor instincts, yeah.
Weak on camera.
And at the time I just thought it was a personality thing.
I think that's crap.
I think you're good.
But I'm also not gonna beg, so if you're interested, come in for a meeting tomorrow morning.
That's yours.
That is a shame.
I would've liked to have seen you beg.
Hey, you can't say that to a lady.
Fitzy, I'm this close to cutting you off.
(ON PHONE) Hard to get a read on him.
He's interesting.
Interesting and cheap.
A bargain.
I really want to make this happen.
I'm gonna put out some feelers.
No.
No, no, no.
No one wants your feelers.
We're testing the wine for the reception.
Where's Jack? Man cave.
I think he's meditating.
Oh, no.
Chardonnay is back.
Yeah, Sav blanc is dead to us.
I was thinking on the way home, is the word hubby Hubby.
Is that the least sexy word in the English language? I just don't think it sums you up, at all.
Are they staying for dinner? Is it too much? You finally reached capacity? No, no, I just I haven't cooked yet, so if you want to get some takeaway.
What, are you sick? Takeaway? No, I had a call this afternoon.
Your parents cannot keep treating you like their personal travel agent.
They're not coming.
At all? Why? Dad's gout's flaring.
Mum's gotta prep for a conference.
I don't know.
No, we're getting married.
They have to be there.
- No, they really don't.
- They - I'm going for a jog.
- Again? Well, hubby's got to look good in his suit.
Do you want me to come? - Yeah, that was an empty gesture.
- Yeah.
My instincts are just to call his parents and tell them they're arseholes.
Ooh.
Might not the best way to get the in-laws.
Is it not my job to broker peace, though? He's terrible.
Jack's terrible.
He's terrible at asking for anything.
I don't know.
I'm with Mims on this one.
He looked he looked so And I think if they knew how much they'd hurt him, they would But you're right, no.
I should just stay out of it, stay out of it.
Hello? Hi, Mrs Winters? It's Lily.
No, it's Jack's Lily.
Yeah, hi.
But you don't think I would look desperate if I invite Ivan? No, he is hot for you, Mims.
He's made that much clear.
Well, yes, and, um, no.
Yeah.
I thought I should return this.
Because who knows if you might have some drill work you might be to do.
That's not my drill.
Oh, I'm pretty sure it is.
Never seen that drill before in my life.
Okay.
That went well, I think.
They're lovely.
Lovely.
So, what are we Mmm.
Mims is stalking Ivan.
Just making excuses to pop around.
No, I I just want him to like me and he doesn't, not after our disaster date.
Which translates to you want him to like you because he is no longer interested.
But you do fancy him, don't you? I mean, there's no point stalking unless you eventually want to slay the dragon.
- Oh, God.
- What? I actually just, um realised that I'm gonna have to get naked in front of Ivan and see Ivan naked.
Oh, God.
Get married and stayed married, darling.
It's a jungle out here.
(LIGHT CHATTER) So, does Bernard get to have a say? He paid me a salary while I wrote it so I feel like a kind of owe him.
- Loyalty.
- Or stupidity.
Whatever it was, I was the meat in that sandwich.
I just feel like there's a lot more heart in the book.
I just feel like we're missing some of the heart.
It's dripping heart.
It's oozing with heart.
Bang.
Heart.
Next scene.
Bang! More heart! I think what Bernard's trying to say is I heard what he said.
Are you sure? There's a lot of clicking going on.
I just fundamentally disagree.
- (LAUGHS) - Anyway, this is good.
This is gonna fix everything.
Dinner.
I don't think we've done this before.
- What? - Dinner.
One on one.
- Is that a bad thing? - No, not bad.
Just I mean, I guess there is a point where, you know, some things get real or they don't and I kind of like what we're, um this, you and that you don't - No.
- like it? Absolutely.
- But - But (LAUGHS) I have also done that thing way too many times when you wake up and a year has passed and you feel dead inside because being casual can kill you slowly.
Well, I don't want to kill you.
(LAUGHS) - Thank you.
- Thanks.
Yum.
Yeah, it can, actually.
It's not you.
- It's not it's not you - Stop! - No, it's - Stop! It's just been a massive year, you know, like, with the baby, that's Manisha, my daughter.
She's a little girl.
That's right.
Yeah, a girl.
You know, trying to sort things out with Meredith.
You know.
Lily? - What - Are you in love with her? - Sorry.
I had to ask.
- (LAUGHS) Um I have been.
On and off.
Ever tell her? Yeah.
Yep, I told her.
And she chose to be with Jack and they went to New Zealand together.
Now you're Now I just feel like I got punched in the face and the world is still ringing, kinda.
You ever feel like that? Yeah.
Okay.
All right.
Why don't we, um Let's give it a month and see whatever we want this to be Just fun.
No pressure.
A month sounds good.
Shit.
Hi.
(LAUGHS) This is awkward.
Uh What are you Would you believe prayer group or, um A meeting? So how long have you been coming? No, I haven't yet.
Want a quick practise, just you and me? Yeah, come on.
I'll start.
Um, I'm Jack.
I'm an alcoholic and a drug addict.
Drugs too? Wow.
Really? I've got about four years and 10 months.
Your turn.
I'm Sasha.
You know who I am.
This is Anyway.
I like my scotch, which some people seem to have a problem with.
What do you like about it? So, what, you come here and you talk about your feelings? Well, yeah, when I need to check in.
I guess just before your wedding is a pretty good time.
You know I take credit for your engagement.
I told Lily this industry sucks the life out of you.
I said go with a tall man with broad shoulders while you're young, hot and still have the energy.
I didn't know that.
What do you like about it? Drinking? Everything.
Come on.
Hey, everyone.
Hi.
And we're back in 15, Erica.
15 seconds.
- (BURPS) - DALE: 10 seconds.
Here we go.
Ready camera one.
(BREAKFAST BAR THEME MUSIC) (VOMITS) Good morning, and it's time for today's hot button topic, catfishing.
Camera one.
How well do you know who you're talking to online? Now, this isn't about cats or about fish, is it, Erica? - (LAUGHS) - No, Nikkii.
It's actually a It's actually a lot more serious than that.
Not too serious.
Not too serious, Erica.
Hot button.
As humans, we're all just looking for love, and every year And here is the brains of the operation.
And if you think it couldn't happen to you, think again.
Annie from the Mornington Peninsula thought she'd met the love of her life after first meeting her on Tinder.
She claimed she was working across three properties to realise her goal of I'm really glad you came.
You know the catfish numbers are more specific than the whole lot.
The ACCC put it at 2,700.
We keep the hot button segment to the personal.
Personal reported losses were up from $2 million to $25.
3 million this year.
You know that just off the top of your head? Yeah.
Yeah.
There's nothing wrong with this segment.
I'm just saying that if I were involved I would and could do it better.
Dale, can we get Erica the ACCC report numbers, please? They're about to - Lily Woodward and Jack Winter - No, no! - What? I didn't approve this.
- Sorry.
This wasn't on the run sheet.
You guys.
We have a lot of fun around here.
(APPLAUSE) (ERICA AND NIKKII SING THE BRIDAL WALTZ) NIKKII: Three cheers for Lily, everyone! - Hip, hip! - ERICA: Hooray! - Hip, hip! Hip, hip! - Hooray! Hooray.
- Hey! - Thanks for your time.
- The blushing bride.
- She's so happy! Hi.
Can I take you upstairs? Our head of programming's keen to meet with you.
Yeah, no, I don't think this is going to be a fit.
I think that's a mistake.
Okay.
- Getting married? - Yes.
- Why? - How do you mean? Cultural pressure? Princess fantasy? Look, we don't just do fluff here, okay? Breakfast TV has the capacity to Go into people's hearts and homes, yes, I know the speech.
I actually really like this medium but I'm just not interested in the job.
You've moved around a lot.
Are you afraid of commitment? Mmm.
We all should be.
You prefer to wax lyrical at the pub than join in the conversation? - Every day of the week.
- Okay.
What are you afraid of? Enjoy your big day.
(MOBILE PHONE RINGS) Hi? - Hey, what did you say to them? - Sorry? My parents, when you called them.
Oh, right, yeah.
I was gonna tell you this morning.
I had a conversation with them last night.
So are they coming now? No, Lil, of course they're not.
But your mum said she was gonna try to make it work.
Well, she's very skilled at telling people what they want to hear.
I don't understand.
Do they not like me? Is it is it a cultural thing? Yeah, Lil, that's it.
They don't believe it's right for the black people to be marrying white people.
- Really? - No.
They're not coming because they don't come to things.
My high school graduation, my 10th birthday.
Look, they're just their own closed unit and I don't want them there anyway, yeah? Okay.
I'm really sorry.
I thought that maybe if someone explained to them how important it was No, Lil, you are in fix-it mode.
I get it.
You do it at work.
But please don't do it to me.
I don't need fixing.
Is it bad that I kind of like the fact he's not perfect? (LAUGHS) No, no, no.
No, it's good.
It's it's on course.
It's the minor disaster before the wedding and now everything will be all right in the end.
References Father of the Bride, My Big Fat Greek Wedding Not Sweet Home Alabama.
Do you do you mind if I should go.
I should go home and I should sort something.
No.
No, no, no.
No, no, no.
No, you have to stay.
Just for one hour, and then he gets you forever.
You see, this is not just drinks.
Oh really, Sim? Is it more a surprise hens'? Who told you? No cock straws.
No costumes, no games.
If I see a tiara What do you take me for? Lily Woodward, this is your life! (BOTH CLUCK) - Hey! Hey! You like this? - (LAUGHS) Hey.
Hi.
I'm here to meet my daughter and Mimi.
What are you doing here? Surprise! Lil gave me her appointment.
- She did? - Mm.
It's just that we're supposed to be doing the father-daughter mani-pedi pre-wedding sort of bonding thing.
I mean, she couldn't even squeeze me in for a lunch.
I know.
It's a very, very busy time.
No, she's mad.
She's She's really mad.
Yvonne's very mad, and I'm assuming you're probably mad at me too.
No idea what you're talking about.
Lil saw me on this.
Yes, the disgusting dating app, I know.
Vincent told me.
Do you think that's why she doesn't want me to walk her down the aisle? No, it was something about not wanting to feel like goods and chattel.
Oh.
- What? - Nothing.
- No, seriously.
What? What is it? - Nothing.
- Mim, what is it? - All right.
I may have asked out a gentleman and I texted him over two hours ago and I haven't heard back.
So what did you text him? I'm not gonna tell you that.
It's all right.
It's me.
May I just have a little look? Mim.
Just give me a look.
Ivan.
Ivan.
Behold the uni bar! How has this place not changed? I know.
It's like a time capsule frozen in vodka Red Bulls.
They look so young, though.
We didn't look that young, did we? I want to tell them to put clothes on.
It's winter.
Wear socks! Really anxious that there's, like, an Intro to Philosophy assignment I haven't handed in.
You never handed it in.
You slept through that class.
- Is that what happened? - Yeah.
Wasn't that the lecturer that you That was Bio Psych, I believe.
Was that Bio Psych? Um, actually, it was both of them.
Yeah, I think it was around the same time that you were going through that too cool for school douchebag phase.
I was never a douche.
Was I a douche? You barely spoke to us in public from, like, what, 2007 to 2008? Oh, that's This is so great, Sim.
What gave you this idea? Well, I popped in the other day because I am a student again.
- Huh.
- No way.
Really? Yeah, I decided to have another crack at getting a degree now that I'm not sleeping with, you know, the professors.
So what are you studying? Fashion.
I start properly next week.
Sim, that is so great.
I'm really, really proud of you.
Thank you.
I'm proud of you too.
Cheers to that, hey? - Cheers.
- Cheers.
- To the bride.
- To the bride.
- And to cockhead.
- Beg your pardon! - No, no, you've got to - 'Cause I've got a cock on my head? Well, he's taking his time.
Yeah, that's a good sign.
That is a very good sign.
You keen on him? Ivan? Well, who can say? It's complicated.
You like him enough to take him to your daughter's wedding.
Says you.
None of this scares you, does it? You just jump straight back into the next one.
Yeah, well, see, Yvonne's been reading up on that.
- She's - Oh, good, she's learned to read.
Yvonne's fairly certain that I'm what's known as a love addict.
And that would explain why I've got a wandering eye.
Can't stop.
See, what I do is I medicate from reality on (LAUGHS) It's not funny.
It's an actual thing.
- Anthony, it's total bullshit.
- It's a thing.
- It's not total bullshit.
- (TEXT MESSAGE ALERT) - He's written - (GASPS) Oh.
GILLIAN: (LAUGHS) I'm on Lily's side.
Your family is dysfunctional.
Someone needs to sort them out.
Yes, but you're allowed.
You're not some blonde interloper.
- I was the blonde interloper.
- Mm, true.
Anyway, Gillian's got a new boyfriend.
Actually, that's not what we're calling it.
What do you think? Do we approve? - Honestly? - Yeah.
Seat warmer.
(LAUGHS) That is so not okay, playing the possessive ex the night before your wedding.
I've never gotten a good vibe from him.
I've tried a bunch of times, nothing.
Well, why would you? He's been in love with Lily for basically, what, forever.
Pete told you that.
Well, let me have a look at this guy.
Yeah, but she chose you.
You went to New Zealand.
Didn't know that.
Come on, it's not actually that surprising.
Don't go all I'm not calling all anything.
Okay.
You've never wondered what they mean to each other? Of course I have.
But you've never asked.
That is so you, just letting it fester.
Well, it's probably just like you two.
History.
You know, everyone's got a past.
Exactly my thoughts.
(CHUCKLES) You know, Gill, I don't think he looks like a seat warmer.
I think he looks a bit Tom Cruisey, you know, Mission Impossible - So hot right now.
- (LAUGHS) LILY: Okay, that was fun.
It also feels a bit like I just went to my funeral.
(LAUGHS) So you never said what was it that made you change those commitment-phobic ways and say yes.
Actually, I ended up asking him.
Really? I just got so sick of thinking about it all the time and I wanted to know it all works out.
- Wow.
- You know.
Now you've got that sorted you'll spend all that brain time thinking about, you know, climate change and nuclear disarmament.
I plan on volunteering for multiple worthy charities.
You can learn to speak Russian.
Take up minigolf.
- Figure out the oven.
- (PHONE VIBRATES) See, the world's your oyster.
I think you're vibrating.
(PHONE VIBRATES) Dale, hi.
I just wanted to let you know Erica's in hospital.
What? Why? Complication of pregnancy.
Nine weeks.
There's been some spotting.
They don't think it's serious but to be safe Erica's pregnant.
It also means we're down a host for tomorrow and while Nikkii swears she can do it Let me fly solo! Let me fly! I just think we should explore some other options.
Yep, I'm on it.
I I have to go.
It's a work Sure.
(SIGHS) - Well - Bye.
- Happy hens'.
(LAUGHS) - Thanks.
- Where were you - Good luck.
Yep.
When I was sleeping? Where were you When the streets were burning? Ooh, I couldn't escape from the fires you left Tried to turn it around inside my head You're gonna kill it.
Just this last panel.
I want it to say, you know, "It's only the beginning," but it just looks messy.
I meant uni.
Thanks.
It's one of the reasons I've gotta move.
What were the other reasons? And by the north side thing.
Ah.
Um I guess 'cause it kind of hurts, you know, this weirdness between us.
Well, I guess we can trace that back to when you tried to be my sex therapist and then ran from the room screaming.
I'm willing to move past it, though.
Yeah.
I think you misread that.
Did I? It was a pretty brutal but clear sign.
How can you be that stupid? Like, I'll have sex with anyone.
Magicians and chiropractors and the guy at the IGA with the kind eye.
Yeah, I know, I know.
Yeah, so that's not what I'm scared of.
Did you think that I was so repulsed because you can't use your legs? Yeah.
Are you saying no? No.
That wasn't it.
No? No.
She's the only one who makes me feel light LILY: Sorry, I just I figured we weren't gonna spend tonight together anyway, so I also really do want to talk about what happened with your parents.
I shouldn't have called them, okay? It's all good.
I'm over it.
Really? 'Cause you sort of look like you're still in it.
Which is totally understandable.
Okay? I have to go to work.
Why did you lie to me? What? When? When I asked you whether you slept with Pete.
Why'd you lie to me? I didn't.
I I didn't want it to be awkward when the three of us hung out, that's all.
- Yeah.
- Why are you asking me this now? I guess I just want to know whether you're in love with him.
It's not a difficult question, Lil.
I've just never asked it before.
Are you in love with Pete? No.
No, I'm in love with you.
I can even say that now.
I'm in love with you.
Nothing's changed.
(TEXT MESSAGE ALERT) You've got to go.
No, I'm gonna stay here.
No, it's - I'm not going.
- It's fine.
It's fine.
Honestly.
Tomorrow.
- Go team.
- Go team.
- Hey there.
- (GIGGLES) You kick on.
Sean and I Yeah, how did you go? Um Well Yeah? It's possible that there is (WHISPERS) a drunk woman in your bed.
Oh, no, I think judging by that distinct waft of whiskey, we can (BLOWS) Yep.
Definitely confirm it.
Hey, um, I was thinking, I don't reckon we need a month.
Yeah? Yeah.
Yeah, I mean, I'm no expert but, um I don't know, this feels pretty real to me.
That's good because I was gonna ask if you would get a bucket to put beside the bed just in case.
Yeah? - In case you - Mm.
Mm.
Oh, too real? What, only if you vomit in my mouth.
All right.
Yeah.
We'll see.
- Hi.
- Hi.
Your last story at Nightwatch? Jesus.
Anyone ever tell you you're a dog with a bone? You know, more than once.
Your last story, it got pulled.
You got some of the facts wrong.
Yeah, I got it worse than wrong.
I made it up.
Why? Biochemical predisposition to anxiety.
Not an excuse, but My brain just likes to cannibalise itself from time to time for fun.
So, I was lying in my bed for about 10 days straight and I was staring at the walls And I had a deadline, so I I don't know, I just I just made up some of the details.
Okay, so, what? Just don't do it again.
We really want you to come and work at The Breakfast Bar, and I know there are a thousand reasons to say no and we are both gonna make mistakes and there are probably other jobs that you could love more.
As this producer, I promise to listen to you and have your back in good times and in bad and at the end of the day, that's all anyone can promise anyone, right? Is that your wedding speech? Yeah, I've been working on it.
What do you think? Needs an edit.
And we're back in five, four, three, two Well, if you're just tuning in now, you'll notice that it's not Erica beside me on the couch this morning.
Though I like to think there's a little bit of Erica inside us all.
(LAUGHS) Keep it together.
Australia, I would like you to meet Liam Johnson, and he is weighing in on our very special hot button topic this morning, the silent trimester.
Thank you, Nikkii.
We all know many women keep early pregnancy a secret, which is absolutely their choice.
No question.
But is it lonely? When the stats are that one in four recognised pregnancies will end in miscarriage, we want to know how as a society can we better support women in this time? Over to your corner, please.
Come on, quick.
Karen, nurse, we put you in there.
- Jeremy, is she ready? - We are set.
And we're back in five, four, three, two, one.
So, let's chat to Erica now.
How are you feeling, lovely? You are looking gorgeous.
Oh, hello, Nikkii, and hello, Liam.
Lovely to meet you.
You too.
I'm still a little bit shaken but I'm okay.
We both are.
And I'm certainly not taking that for granted.
It's funny.
When we were first trying to get pregnant, I always thought that when I was, if I was, I'd be shouting it from the rooftops.
But now that I am, the fear of losing this little thing is really, um really real.
When you fall pregnant you're advised not to tell anyone for the first trimester, just in case you lose it.
But if you do lose it, if you lose your baby, how do you mourn? It doesn't make a lot of sense to me.
That was a good call crossing to the hospital.
Liam's idea.
And we should be allowed to.
You've been a bit on edge lately.
Anxious, expectant father? I don't know what you mean.
I understand their donor was anonymous.
Australia, this is my baby's heartbeat.
Oh! Oh, I want one! - A heartbeat, you do have one.
- (LAUGHS) SASHA: It's time, kiddo.
(ERICA AND LIAM LAUGH) Back with more heartbeats after this.
Nothing comes easy when you care to dream Knowing there's something that you have to be A caring mother, a writer, friend or lover It will need all that you can give You've got so much potential Don't throw it away So sad to watch it go to waste You made it so complicated, I just couldn't stay I can't afford to waste another day (GUESTS CHATTER, VIOLINS PLAY) Stop sulking.
I'm not sulking.
Just because she's marrying doesn't mean she loves you less.
Hey, what a day.
Hi! Hey, mother of the bride.
Hey, Ivan.
Anthony.
Is he sulking? Like a baby.
Oh! Maybe later.
(LAUGHS) (LAUGHS) Oh! Yeah.
I missed you.
I hate my family.
I missed you.
I'm just I'm gonna see where they are.
- Do you want to have a seat? - Okay.
Uh, I'm just gonna go and say good luck.
Sure.
Hey.
- Hey.
- You sleep? - Yeah.
- You okay? Yeah.
Yep.
Really? He's just shitting himself.
I don't want you to freak out but she's at work still.
She's still at work.
She's still at work.
Yep.
What is she thinking? I don't know my daughter! Would you like a mint? Yes, thank you.
Does anyone have a mint? She's on her way.
She's on her way.
She's on her way, everyone.
We're good.
All good.
Okay.
Excuse me! You will see the truth Too many grown-ups.
Too many grown-ups.
Push! Push! Like a seed in the wind If you don't catch it it will blow away But if you give it all it needs It'll bloom So what happened yesterday Seems like a million miles away Can you leave the lies you hold To find the truth there in your soul (PANTS HEAVILY AND LAUGHS) Look at you! Guys, stop.
We would've been earlier but Sim Stop, Lily, stop.
He's left.
What? Jack.
Lily, he's left.
I'm so sorry.
I'm really sorry.
It's all around your heart What did he say to you? I don't know.
Something about a pause.
He said you'd know what that meant.
Oh, simple half, you'll be deep within me And what happened yesterday Seems like a million miles away Can you leave the lies you hold To find the truth there in your soul? VOICE-OVER: Imagine being left at the alter on your wedding day.
My heart feels like it's been ripped out of it's chest cavity.
VOICE-OVER: So the question is will Jack come back? Where is he? Do you know where he's staying? VOICE-OVER: Or has the right guy for Lily been there all along? He asked me if I'm in love with Pete.
So, are you in love with Pete? [SCOFFS.]
No, I'm not.
Is this really what you want? Yep.
I'm going to be an expectant mother.
- Wow.
- No! No, not yet.
But I will.
I'm going to be.
DALE: I've always thought I'd be a good father.
Submit your headshot and a bio.
Perhaps I will.
Tick, tick, Dad.
If Jack ever asks, if it ever just comes up whether we ever Whether we ever? - Whether we ever - Whether we ever.
I know what you need.
A sex specialist.
Sorry.
Do you know you haven't congratulated me yet? Well, congratulations.
You don't think I should marry Jack? That's not a fair question.
Changed my mind about the long engagement.
- Really? - Yep.
Let's rush into it.
SIMONE: Excuse me! Lil, nearly there! Oh! Too many grown-ups.
Too many grown-ups.
Push! Push! That I was close to calling it quits Now I'm a walking cliche All living in the moment and all that - (DOG BARKS) - SIMONE: Okay, ready? I'm not gonna cry.
I'm not gonna cry.
Open.
Oh.
I mean, it's hard to visualise, but every panel's gonna tell a tell a story.
I need more pins.
Why does the dress have to tell a story? It's just a dress.
SIM works best under pressure.
Yes, well, this is pressure.
Darling, I've still got the Rachel Gilbert on hold.
Shh, no, Mum.
The thing is, do you really like it? Yes, I love it.
Oh! No, no, no! Out, out! Avert your eyes! Ignore her.
She's taken Mimzilla to the next level.
No, no.
This family has not had a successful marriage in generations.
Do you want to risk superstition? - I'll be in the bedroom.
- Mm-hm.
Oh, she is a one woman bonbonnière sweatshop out there and she is killing me.
Yeah, no, I I can change that.
I only booked it because the reviews Hey.
(WHISPERS) Is that your mum? Can I talk to her? Yeah, okay, well, I'll send new options through now.
Yep.
Flights too.
Okay.
Bye.
Yep.
They really care about the hotel, huh? They just don't do anything that's not 100% convenient for them at all times.
Jack Winters, was that venting? That did not sound very Zen.
(SIGHS) What did you think of the wedding dress, really? Well, I know you don't like it.
When you lie, you go blank-eyed and you pause.
Do I? It's the pause.
It's your tell.
It's a dead giveaway.
I didn't know that.
Lil, the seating chart isn't gonna arrange itself! I hate getting married.
See, now, that I believe.
- And what's that scar? - Um - That's duck fat.
Yep.
- Uh-huh.
- (CHUCKLES) Short rib.
- Wow.
And I've got another standard knife wound.
- Oh, yeah.
- Yeah.
Well, when I was six, I ran into the table.
- See that? - No.
- It's pretty hard-core.
- There's nothing there.
- It was like three stitches.
- Really? Wow.
That's so impressive.
Thank you.
It was.
WOMAN: Where's Daddy, Manisha? - Let's find Daddy.
- Oh, shit.
I thought they were out.
IVAN: Pete, do you want breakfast? I'm making an açai bowls.
The way you like them.
Get out of bed, you lazy bugger.
Ivan's here too.
Yep, that's that's my dad.
Hey! - Good morning! - Hi.
Nice to meet you.
This is a beautiful home.
Nice to meet you.
Hi.
Oh, sorry.
We have been asking him to have you over and we wanted to thank you because before he was just a little bit grouchy.
Grouchy? No.
To put it mildly.
No, I don't think I can take credit for that.
Oh, no, you can.
Wow, he is definitely gorgeous.
You mean you mean Pete? No.
Manisha.
She.
She.
Manisha's a she.
Mm.
Oh, my God.
I've talked to you about Manisha, haven't I? Yes.
Oh, don't worry about it.
It happens all the time.
See, this is why you should dress her in pink.
Anyway, gender's fluid these days, isn't it? Açai, anyone? - That'd be great.
- Yep.
Wow.
You two.
Communication.
Açai! Yum, yum, yum, yum! Lily, what are you doing here? I work here.
Not two days before your wedding.
What if you were hit a car? What if something hits you in the face? What if a vending machine just falls down and I'm calling your mother.
Is she more ridiculous than usual? She's excited for you.
It's nice.
We would have invited you but then we'd have to invite everyone.
Alice was invited.
Yes, Alice is my brother's girlfriend.
Anyway, you hate weddings.
Sappy poems and smug PDAs.
Yes, but I like heckling.
You ready to pitch or do you have another hair appointment? SASHA: Six weeks and you haven't put forward one eligible co-host/option/ anything remotely intelligent.
I've started to grieve Eric.
I still think the brave thing to do is embrace the fact that we have two powerful women on the couch.
(SCOFFS) Coming from one about to slip on a white dress and pretend she has a hymen.
Luckily, I have found the unicorn.
Liam Johnson.
Print journo originally.
Won a Walkley by the age of 24 and he was put on the investigation team at The Oz.
He then moved to Nightwatch where he was let go after a month for being too smutty and commercial.
And unique selling point.
This is what he looks like with his shirt off.
(SINGS HIGH NOTE) He is a bloody unicorn.
Mm-hm.
How are you gonna top it? I can't.
I was gonna pitch the exact same person.
Oh, it's easy to jump on that bandwagon now.
Will you look at that.
Get him in for a meeting and make sure you do a proper background.
I want to know who I'm getting into bed with.
I'm happy to do the personal approach if you want to pre Pre-negotiate with his agent.
There's no point going too far down that road.
Too far down that road if we can't afford him.
- Stop doing that.
- What? It's good! We're in sync.
Lily! Boss lady! - Bernard.
Hi.
- Hi, hi.
Mwah, mwah.
Yeah, this is Jeremy.
He works with Pete.
Oh, yes! God, I remember when the book was just a little twinkle in his grey-green eyes.
Yeah, then there was the late nights, the two of us just nursing that little bundle of brilliance.
And now a TV show.
What next? (CHUCKLES) He's come a long way.
We've worked really hard.
Yeah, totes.
And here he is now.
Pete, your harem.
- Great! Good.
- How are you going, buddy? Yeah.
This way, shall we? - Oh, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Follow me.
Ah, look, you go.
I was gonna get those! Don't have the ankles, though.
Oh, this will be interesting.
Um, so the surprise hens' night.
I'm assuming you're all across that.
There was no talking Sim out of that one.
And should I should I come? Why wouldn't you? Is this about not being a bridesmaid? I imagine flower girl at least.
Sorry I've been distant.
It's a busy time.
I've just been focusing.
It's a race and there is a finish line and I'm not stopping for Lucozade, no sir.
I'm just wedding.
Run towards wedding.
Does that make sense? Apart from the image of you in a sporting context, yeah.
Totally.
Um, I'd better get in there.
(CLEARS THROAT) You used to only have one friend.
Now look at you.
Lucky you got in early, huh? How do you think Lil's going? I think she's on track.
Like she knows historically now is when she should be freaking out, so she's determined not to freak out.
Do you want me to have a go at that? Um (LAUGHS) That was terrible.
Uh, so I haven't invited Alice to the hens' thing, but if you would like? Oh, no, thank you.
She She's in Townsville for her great-uncle's funeral.
Oh, cool.
Not not cool.
No, not cool.
Did you see that letter about renewing the lease? Yeah, 20 bucks.
Not the worst in terms of increases but still, vultures, hey? Yeah, I've actually been thinking of going north side.
Embrace the whole manic pixie clichïe before I get old.
Right, okay.
And if things keep going well with you and Alice, you won't want to commit to me for (CLEARS THROAT) another year.
Yeah, good point.
How's that? It's perfect.
Arguing that you don't care about the right to privacy because you have nothing to hide is no different than saying that you don't care about free speech because you have nothing to say.
But sure, you know, let's collect the meta-data and crucify Snowden because he's the bad guy.
(DOOR CLOSES) Hi.
I'm Lily Woodward from The Breakfast Bar.
We spoke with your agent? I didn't know that I still had one of those.
What are you drinking? Diet Coke, please.
No.
No? No.
Okay, a beer would be great, thanks.
So you're the mob who want to put him back on the TV? I'd like to talk to him about it, yeah.
You know you should take Fitzy in for an audition.
Finest journo in the country.
And not a scrap of human compassion.
Well, I hope that's not what you think of us.
The Breakfast Bar tries hard to present a balanced view on lots of human issues.
Would you like to try that one again? We don't always succeed in our aim.
Your show tries hard to make good television, period.
And you've got a hole on your couch.
Albrechtsen was on the right and you've got Erica on the left - and you've got the vomiting one - Nikkii.
who has no firm opinions, although she could be a genius.
We wouldn't be pushing you to be Eric 2.
0, if that's what you're worried about.
We like the scope of your background.
He doesn't care about politics.
He's a contrarian.
You go day, he goes night.
Don't listen to him.
He's wearing a diaper under those pants.
Ahh.
Fight and the smell of blood.
That's what gets him out of bed in the morning.
At any rate, we like you, and you haven't exactly been overwhelmed with offers.
Not since Nightwatch.
What happened there? I was fired.
But you'd know that if you'd done your research.
I heard you weren't up to the job.
Poor instincts, yeah.
Weak on camera.
And at the time I just thought it was a personality thing.
I think that's crap.
I think you're good.
But I'm also not gonna beg, so if you're interested, come in for a meeting tomorrow morning.
That's yours.
That is a shame.
I would've liked to have seen you beg.
Hey, you can't say that to a lady.
Fitzy, I'm this close to cutting you off.
(ON PHONE) Hard to get a read on him.
He's interesting.
Interesting and cheap.
A bargain.
I really want to make this happen.
I'm gonna put out some feelers.
No.
No, no, no.
No one wants your feelers.
We're testing the wine for the reception.
Where's Jack? Man cave.
I think he's meditating.
Oh, no.
Chardonnay is back.
Yeah, Sav blanc is dead to us.
I was thinking on the way home, is the word hubby Hubby.
Is that the least sexy word in the English language? I just don't think it sums you up, at all.
Are they staying for dinner? Is it too much? You finally reached capacity? No, no, I just I haven't cooked yet, so if you want to get some takeaway.
What, are you sick? Takeaway? No, I had a call this afternoon.
Your parents cannot keep treating you like their personal travel agent.
They're not coming.
At all? Why? Dad's gout's flaring.
Mum's gotta prep for a conference.
I don't know.
No, we're getting married.
They have to be there.
- No, they really don't.
- They - I'm going for a jog.
- Again? Well, hubby's got to look good in his suit.
Do you want me to come? - Yeah, that was an empty gesture.
- Yeah.
My instincts are just to call his parents and tell them they're arseholes.
Ooh.
Might not the best way to get the in-laws.
Is it not my job to broker peace, though? He's terrible.
Jack's terrible.
He's terrible at asking for anything.
I don't know.
I'm with Mims on this one.
He looked he looked so And I think if they knew how much they'd hurt him, they would But you're right, no.
I should just stay out of it, stay out of it.
Hello? Hi, Mrs Winters? It's Lily.
No, it's Jack's Lily.
Yeah, hi.
But you don't think I would look desperate if I invite Ivan? No, he is hot for you, Mims.
He's made that much clear.
Well, yes, and, um, no.
Yeah.
I thought I should return this.
Because who knows if you might have some drill work you might be to do.
That's not my drill.
Oh, I'm pretty sure it is.
Never seen that drill before in my life.
Okay.
That went well, I think.
They're lovely.
Lovely.
So, what are we Mmm.
Mims is stalking Ivan.
Just making excuses to pop around.
No, I I just want him to like me and he doesn't, not after our disaster date.
Which translates to you want him to like you because he is no longer interested.
But you do fancy him, don't you? I mean, there's no point stalking unless you eventually want to slay the dragon.
- Oh, God.
- What? I actually just, um realised that I'm gonna have to get naked in front of Ivan and see Ivan naked.
Oh, God.
Get married and stayed married, darling.
It's a jungle out here.
(LIGHT CHATTER) So, does Bernard get to have a say? He paid me a salary while I wrote it so I feel like a kind of owe him.
- Loyalty.
- Or stupidity.
Whatever it was, I was the meat in that sandwich.
I just feel like there's a lot more heart in the book.
I just feel like we're missing some of the heart.
It's dripping heart.
It's oozing with heart.
Bang.
Heart.
Next scene.
Bang! More heart! I think what Bernard's trying to say is I heard what he said.
Are you sure? There's a lot of clicking going on.
I just fundamentally disagree.
- (LAUGHS) - Anyway, this is good.
This is gonna fix everything.
Dinner.
I don't think we've done this before.
- What? - Dinner.
One on one.
- Is that a bad thing? - No, not bad.
Just I mean, I guess there is a point where, you know, some things get real or they don't and I kind of like what we're, um this, you and that you don't - No.
- like it? Absolutely.
- But - But (LAUGHS) I have also done that thing way too many times when you wake up and a year has passed and you feel dead inside because being casual can kill you slowly.
Well, I don't want to kill you.
(LAUGHS) - Thank you.
- Thanks.
Yum.
Yeah, it can, actually.
It's not you.
- It's not it's not you - Stop! - No, it's - Stop! It's just been a massive year, you know, like, with the baby, that's Manisha, my daughter.
She's a little girl.
That's right.
Yeah, a girl.
You know, trying to sort things out with Meredith.
You know.
Lily? - What - Are you in love with her? - Sorry.
I had to ask.
- (LAUGHS) Um I have been.
On and off.
Ever tell her? Yeah.
Yep, I told her.
And she chose to be with Jack and they went to New Zealand together.
Now you're Now I just feel like I got punched in the face and the world is still ringing, kinda.
You ever feel like that? Yeah.
Okay.
All right.
Why don't we, um Let's give it a month and see whatever we want this to be Just fun.
No pressure.
A month sounds good.
Shit.
Hi.
(LAUGHS) This is awkward.
Uh What are you Would you believe prayer group or, um A meeting? So how long have you been coming? No, I haven't yet.
Want a quick practise, just you and me? Yeah, come on.
I'll start.
Um, I'm Jack.
I'm an alcoholic and a drug addict.
Drugs too? Wow.
Really? I've got about four years and 10 months.
Your turn.
I'm Sasha.
You know who I am.
This is Anyway.
I like my scotch, which some people seem to have a problem with.
What do you like about it? So, what, you come here and you talk about your feelings? Well, yeah, when I need to check in.
I guess just before your wedding is a pretty good time.
You know I take credit for your engagement.
I told Lily this industry sucks the life out of you.
I said go with a tall man with broad shoulders while you're young, hot and still have the energy.
I didn't know that.
What do you like about it? Drinking? Everything.
Come on.
Hey, everyone.
Hi.
And we're back in 15, Erica.
15 seconds.
- (BURPS) - DALE: 10 seconds.
Here we go.
Ready camera one.
(BREAKFAST BAR THEME MUSIC) (VOMITS) Good morning, and it's time for today's hot button topic, catfishing.
Camera one.
How well do you know who you're talking to online? Now, this isn't about cats or about fish, is it, Erica? - (LAUGHS) - No, Nikkii.
It's actually a It's actually a lot more serious than that.
Not too serious.
Not too serious, Erica.
Hot button.
As humans, we're all just looking for love, and every year And here is the brains of the operation.
And if you think it couldn't happen to you, think again.
Annie from the Mornington Peninsula thought she'd met the love of her life after first meeting her on Tinder.
She claimed she was working across three properties to realise her goal of I'm really glad you came.
You know the catfish numbers are more specific than the whole lot.
The ACCC put it at 2,700.
We keep the hot button segment to the personal.
Personal reported losses were up from $2 million to $25.
3 million this year.
You know that just off the top of your head? Yeah.
Yeah.
There's nothing wrong with this segment.
I'm just saying that if I were involved I would and could do it better.
Dale, can we get Erica the ACCC report numbers, please? They're about to - Lily Woodward and Jack Winter - No, no! - What? I didn't approve this.
- Sorry.
This wasn't on the run sheet.
You guys.
We have a lot of fun around here.
(APPLAUSE) (ERICA AND NIKKII SING THE BRIDAL WALTZ) NIKKII: Three cheers for Lily, everyone! - Hip, hip! - ERICA: Hooray! - Hip, hip! Hip, hip! - Hooray! Hooray.
- Hey! - Thanks for your time.
- The blushing bride.
- She's so happy! Hi.
Can I take you upstairs? Our head of programming's keen to meet with you.
Yeah, no, I don't think this is going to be a fit.
I think that's a mistake.
Okay.
- Getting married? - Yes.
- Why? - How do you mean? Cultural pressure? Princess fantasy? Look, we don't just do fluff here, okay? Breakfast TV has the capacity to Go into people's hearts and homes, yes, I know the speech.
I actually really like this medium but I'm just not interested in the job.
You've moved around a lot.
Are you afraid of commitment? Mmm.
We all should be.
You prefer to wax lyrical at the pub than join in the conversation? - Every day of the week.
- Okay.
What are you afraid of? Enjoy your big day.
(MOBILE PHONE RINGS) Hi? - Hey, what did you say to them? - Sorry? My parents, when you called them.
Oh, right, yeah.
I was gonna tell you this morning.
I had a conversation with them last night.
So are they coming now? No, Lil, of course they're not.
But your mum said she was gonna try to make it work.
Well, she's very skilled at telling people what they want to hear.
I don't understand.
Do they not like me? Is it is it a cultural thing? Yeah, Lil, that's it.
They don't believe it's right for the black people to be marrying white people.
- Really? - No.
They're not coming because they don't come to things.
My high school graduation, my 10th birthday.
Look, they're just their own closed unit and I don't want them there anyway, yeah? Okay.
I'm really sorry.
I thought that maybe if someone explained to them how important it was No, Lil, you are in fix-it mode.
I get it.
You do it at work.
But please don't do it to me.
I don't need fixing.
Is it bad that I kind of like the fact he's not perfect? (LAUGHS) No, no, no.
No, it's good.
It's it's on course.
It's the minor disaster before the wedding and now everything will be all right in the end.
References Father of the Bride, My Big Fat Greek Wedding Not Sweet Home Alabama.
Do you do you mind if I should go.
I should go home and I should sort something.
No.
No, no, no.
No, no, no.
No, you have to stay.
Just for one hour, and then he gets you forever.
You see, this is not just drinks.
Oh really, Sim? Is it more a surprise hens'? Who told you? No cock straws.
No costumes, no games.
If I see a tiara What do you take me for? Lily Woodward, this is your life! (BOTH CLUCK) - Hey! Hey! You like this? - (LAUGHS) Hey.
Hi.
I'm here to meet my daughter and Mimi.
What are you doing here? Surprise! Lil gave me her appointment.
- She did? - Mm.
It's just that we're supposed to be doing the father-daughter mani-pedi pre-wedding sort of bonding thing.
I mean, she couldn't even squeeze me in for a lunch.
I know.
It's a very, very busy time.
No, she's mad.
She's She's really mad.
Yvonne's very mad, and I'm assuming you're probably mad at me too.
No idea what you're talking about.
Lil saw me on this.
Yes, the disgusting dating app, I know.
Vincent told me.
Do you think that's why she doesn't want me to walk her down the aisle? No, it was something about not wanting to feel like goods and chattel.
Oh.
- What? - Nothing.
- No, seriously.
What? What is it? - Nothing.
- Mim, what is it? - All right.
I may have asked out a gentleman and I texted him over two hours ago and I haven't heard back.
So what did you text him? I'm not gonna tell you that.
It's all right.
It's me.
May I just have a little look? Mim.
Just give me a look.
Ivan.
Ivan.
Behold the uni bar! How has this place not changed? I know.
It's like a time capsule frozen in vodka Red Bulls.
They look so young, though.
We didn't look that young, did we? I want to tell them to put clothes on.
It's winter.
Wear socks! Really anxious that there's, like, an Intro to Philosophy assignment I haven't handed in.
You never handed it in.
You slept through that class.
- Is that what happened? - Yeah.
Wasn't that the lecturer that you That was Bio Psych, I believe.
Was that Bio Psych? Um, actually, it was both of them.
Yeah, I think it was around the same time that you were going through that too cool for school douchebag phase.
I was never a douche.
Was I a douche? You barely spoke to us in public from, like, what, 2007 to 2008? Oh, that's This is so great, Sim.
What gave you this idea? Well, I popped in the other day because I am a student again.
- Huh.
- No way.
Really? Yeah, I decided to have another crack at getting a degree now that I'm not sleeping with, you know, the professors.
So what are you studying? Fashion.
I start properly next week.
Sim, that is so great.
I'm really, really proud of you.
Thank you.
I'm proud of you too.
Cheers to that, hey? - Cheers.
- Cheers.
- To the bride.
- To the bride.
- And to cockhead.
- Beg your pardon! - No, no, you've got to - 'Cause I've got a cock on my head? Well, he's taking his time.
Yeah, that's a good sign.
That is a very good sign.
You keen on him? Ivan? Well, who can say? It's complicated.
You like him enough to take him to your daughter's wedding.
Says you.
None of this scares you, does it? You just jump straight back into the next one.
Yeah, well, see, Yvonne's been reading up on that.
- She's - Oh, good, she's learned to read.
Yvonne's fairly certain that I'm what's known as a love addict.
And that would explain why I've got a wandering eye.
Can't stop.
See, what I do is I medicate from reality on (LAUGHS) It's not funny.
It's an actual thing.
- Anthony, it's total bullshit.
- It's a thing.
- It's not total bullshit.
- (TEXT MESSAGE ALERT) - He's written - (GASPS) Oh.
GILLIAN: (LAUGHS) I'm on Lily's side.
Your family is dysfunctional.
Someone needs to sort them out.
Yes, but you're allowed.
You're not some blonde interloper.
- I was the blonde interloper.
- Mm, true.
Anyway, Gillian's got a new boyfriend.
Actually, that's not what we're calling it.
What do you think? Do we approve? - Honestly? - Yeah.
Seat warmer.
(LAUGHS) That is so not okay, playing the possessive ex the night before your wedding.
I've never gotten a good vibe from him.
I've tried a bunch of times, nothing.
Well, why would you? He's been in love with Lily for basically, what, forever.
Pete told you that.
Well, let me have a look at this guy.
Yeah, but she chose you.
You went to New Zealand.
Didn't know that.
Come on, it's not actually that surprising.
Don't go all I'm not calling all anything.
Okay.
You've never wondered what they mean to each other? Of course I have.
But you've never asked.
That is so you, just letting it fester.
Well, it's probably just like you two.
History.
You know, everyone's got a past.
Exactly my thoughts.
(CHUCKLES) You know, Gill, I don't think he looks like a seat warmer.
I think he looks a bit Tom Cruisey, you know, Mission Impossible - So hot right now.
- (LAUGHS) LILY: Okay, that was fun.
It also feels a bit like I just went to my funeral.
(LAUGHS) So you never said what was it that made you change those commitment-phobic ways and say yes.
Actually, I ended up asking him.
Really? I just got so sick of thinking about it all the time and I wanted to know it all works out.
- Wow.
- You know.
Now you've got that sorted you'll spend all that brain time thinking about, you know, climate change and nuclear disarmament.
I plan on volunteering for multiple worthy charities.
You can learn to speak Russian.
Take up minigolf.
- Figure out the oven.
- (PHONE VIBRATES) See, the world's your oyster.
I think you're vibrating.
(PHONE VIBRATES) Dale, hi.
I just wanted to let you know Erica's in hospital.
What? Why? Complication of pregnancy.
Nine weeks.
There's been some spotting.
They don't think it's serious but to be safe Erica's pregnant.
It also means we're down a host for tomorrow and while Nikkii swears she can do it Let me fly solo! Let me fly! I just think we should explore some other options.
Yep, I'm on it.
I I have to go.
It's a work Sure.
(SIGHS) - Well - Bye.
- Happy hens'.
(LAUGHS) - Thanks.
- Where were you - Good luck.
Yep.
When I was sleeping? Where were you When the streets were burning? Ooh, I couldn't escape from the fires you left Tried to turn it around inside my head You're gonna kill it.
Just this last panel.
I want it to say, you know, "It's only the beginning," but it just looks messy.
I meant uni.
Thanks.
It's one of the reasons I've gotta move.
What were the other reasons? And by the north side thing.
Ah.
Um I guess 'cause it kind of hurts, you know, this weirdness between us.
Well, I guess we can trace that back to when you tried to be my sex therapist and then ran from the room screaming.
I'm willing to move past it, though.
Yeah.
I think you misread that.
Did I? It was a pretty brutal but clear sign.
How can you be that stupid? Like, I'll have sex with anyone.
Magicians and chiropractors and the guy at the IGA with the kind eye.
Yeah, I know, I know.
Yeah, so that's not what I'm scared of.
Did you think that I was so repulsed because you can't use your legs? Yeah.
Are you saying no? No.
That wasn't it.
No? No.
She's the only one who makes me feel light LILY: Sorry, I just I figured we weren't gonna spend tonight together anyway, so I also really do want to talk about what happened with your parents.
I shouldn't have called them, okay? It's all good.
I'm over it.
Really? 'Cause you sort of look like you're still in it.
Which is totally understandable.
Okay? I have to go to work.
Why did you lie to me? What? When? When I asked you whether you slept with Pete.
Why'd you lie to me? I didn't.
I I didn't want it to be awkward when the three of us hung out, that's all.
- Yeah.
- Why are you asking me this now? I guess I just want to know whether you're in love with him.
It's not a difficult question, Lil.
I've just never asked it before.
Are you in love with Pete? No.
No, I'm in love with you.
I can even say that now.
I'm in love with you.
Nothing's changed.
(TEXT MESSAGE ALERT) You've got to go.
No, I'm gonna stay here.
No, it's - I'm not going.
- It's fine.
It's fine.
Honestly.
Tomorrow.
- Go team.
- Go team.
- Hey there.
- (GIGGLES) You kick on.
Sean and I Yeah, how did you go? Um Well Yeah? It's possible that there is (WHISPERS) a drunk woman in your bed.
Oh, no, I think judging by that distinct waft of whiskey, we can (BLOWS) Yep.
Definitely confirm it.
Hey, um, I was thinking, I don't reckon we need a month.
Yeah? Yeah.
Yeah, I mean, I'm no expert but, um I don't know, this feels pretty real to me.
That's good because I was gonna ask if you would get a bucket to put beside the bed just in case.
Yeah? - In case you - Mm.
Mm.
Oh, too real? What, only if you vomit in my mouth.
All right.
Yeah.
We'll see.
- Hi.
- Hi.
Your last story at Nightwatch? Jesus.
Anyone ever tell you you're a dog with a bone? You know, more than once.
Your last story, it got pulled.
You got some of the facts wrong.
Yeah, I got it worse than wrong.
I made it up.
Why? Biochemical predisposition to anxiety.
Not an excuse, but My brain just likes to cannibalise itself from time to time for fun.
So, I was lying in my bed for about 10 days straight and I was staring at the walls And I had a deadline, so I I don't know, I just I just made up some of the details.
Okay, so, what? Just don't do it again.
We really want you to come and work at The Breakfast Bar, and I know there are a thousand reasons to say no and we are both gonna make mistakes and there are probably other jobs that you could love more.
As this producer, I promise to listen to you and have your back in good times and in bad and at the end of the day, that's all anyone can promise anyone, right? Is that your wedding speech? Yeah, I've been working on it.
What do you think? Needs an edit.
And we're back in five, four, three, two Well, if you're just tuning in now, you'll notice that it's not Erica beside me on the couch this morning.
Though I like to think there's a little bit of Erica inside us all.
(LAUGHS) Keep it together.
Australia, I would like you to meet Liam Johnson, and he is weighing in on our very special hot button topic this morning, the silent trimester.
Thank you, Nikkii.
We all know many women keep early pregnancy a secret, which is absolutely their choice.
No question.
But is it lonely? When the stats are that one in four recognised pregnancies will end in miscarriage, we want to know how as a society can we better support women in this time? Over to your corner, please.
Come on, quick.
Karen, nurse, we put you in there.
- Jeremy, is she ready? - We are set.
And we're back in five, four, three, two, one.
So, let's chat to Erica now.
How are you feeling, lovely? You are looking gorgeous.
Oh, hello, Nikkii, and hello, Liam.
Lovely to meet you.
You too.
I'm still a little bit shaken but I'm okay.
We both are.
And I'm certainly not taking that for granted.
It's funny.
When we were first trying to get pregnant, I always thought that when I was, if I was, I'd be shouting it from the rooftops.
But now that I am, the fear of losing this little thing is really, um really real.
When you fall pregnant you're advised not to tell anyone for the first trimester, just in case you lose it.
But if you do lose it, if you lose your baby, how do you mourn? It doesn't make a lot of sense to me.
That was a good call crossing to the hospital.
Liam's idea.
And we should be allowed to.
You've been a bit on edge lately.
Anxious, expectant father? I don't know what you mean.
I understand their donor was anonymous.
Australia, this is my baby's heartbeat.
Oh! Oh, I want one! - A heartbeat, you do have one.
- (LAUGHS) SASHA: It's time, kiddo.
(ERICA AND LIAM LAUGH) Back with more heartbeats after this.
Nothing comes easy when you care to dream Knowing there's something that you have to be A caring mother, a writer, friend or lover It will need all that you can give You've got so much potential Don't throw it away So sad to watch it go to waste You made it so complicated, I just couldn't stay I can't afford to waste another day (GUESTS CHATTER, VIOLINS PLAY) Stop sulking.
I'm not sulking.
Just because she's marrying doesn't mean she loves you less.
Hey, what a day.
Hi! Hey, mother of the bride.
Hey, Ivan.
Anthony.
Is he sulking? Like a baby.
Oh! Maybe later.
(LAUGHS) (LAUGHS) Oh! Yeah.
I missed you.
I hate my family.
I missed you.
I'm just I'm gonna see where they are.
- Do you want to have a seat? - Okay.
Uh, I'm just gonna go and say good luck.
Sure.
Hey.
- Hey.
- You sleep? - Yeah.
- You okay? Yeah.
Yep.
Really? He's just shitting himself.
I don't want you to freak out but she's at work still.
She's still at work.
She's still at work.
Yep.
What is she thinking? I don't know my daughter! Would you like a mint? Yes, thank you.
Does anyone have a mint? She's on her way.
She's on her way.
She's on her way, everyone.
We're good.
All good.
Okay.
Excuse me! You will see the truth Too many grown-ups.
Too many grown-ups.
Push! Push! Like a seed in the wind If you don't catch it it will blow away But if you give it all it needs It'll bloom So what happened yesterday Seems like a million miles away Can you leave the lies you hold To find the truth there in your soul (PANTS HEAVILY AND LAUGHS) Look at you! Guys, stop.
We would've been earlier but Sim Stop, Lily, stop.
He's left.
What? Jack.
Lily, he's left.
I'm so sorry.
I'm really sorry.
It's all around your heart What did he say to you? I don't know.
Something about a pause.
He said you'd know what that meant.
Oh, simple half, you'll be deep within me And what happened yesterday Seems like a million miles away Can you leave the lies you hold To find the truth there in your soul? VOICE-OVER: Imagine being left at the alter on your wedding day.
My heart feels like it's been ripped out of it's chest cavity.
VOICE-OVER: So the question is will Jack come back? Where is he? Do you know where he's staying? VOICE-OVER: Or has the right guy for Lily been there all along? He asked me if I'm in love with Pete.
So, are you in love with Pete? [SCOFFS.]
No, I'm not.