Wonder Woman (1976) s02e07 Episode Script

Right.
I'm on my way.
Diana is on her way.
How'd you get here so fast? There's not much traffic at 6:00 a.
m.
in the morning.
Why has every crisis since World War II happened in the middle of my beauty sleep? You're not getting too old for this, are you, Joe? I was too old for this before either one of you were born.
Thank you all for responding so promptly.
This secret tape was made yesterday at Miami.
An hour ago, I.
D.
Analysis identified this man as Evan Robley.
It's Robley all right, sir.
I remember him from the time he stole the nuclear plans from the French Navy.
Evan Robley has stolen just about everything from everybody.
If there were a thieves Hall of Fame, Evan Robley would be a charter member.
Well said, Steve.
This tape was sent by Interpol after Robley robbed the Bangkok Mint.
You can see it shows him enjoying his ill-gotten gains.
Apparently free of any fear of apprehension.
I'd like you to study his disguise.
As far as I'm concerned, he is the grand master.
Not only of disguises, but international thieves as well.
This was the I.
D.
he used to steal the rocket fuel formula from the top secret Turkish Air base.
We got him that time, sir.
Yes.
For about 10 minutes.
He escaped on the way to jail.
He's in Palm Beach now.
The millionaire's sandbox and I want you to know he plays up to it.
But I want to know exactly what he's up to.
Thank you, and good morning.
Good early morning.
Good morning, sir.
You think Robley is after something here in Washington? Why would he go to Florida? I've got an idea.
Come on.
All of my mornings spent poring over newspapers has finally paid off.
Queen Kathryn of Malakar happens to be in Palm Beach, Florida at this moment.
- Brilliant deduction, my dear Watson.
- Thank you, Holmes.
Would one of you mind telling me what's going on here? Queen Kathryn is this generation's Cinderella.
She met the Prince of Malakar on a Mediterranean cruise.
They fell in love and were married.
Last year her husband died and she became queen.
Not bad for little old Kathy O'Reilly from Boston, Massachusetts.
Of course, now I remember.
But who doesn't? But what has this got to do with Evan Robley? She brought with her what amounts to the Malakar heritage.
A priceless diamond crown and necklace.
Then she'll need protection.
Wait a minute.
She's staying at the Malakar Consulate.
We have absolutely no jurisdiction there whatsoever.
We'll have to go undercover.
Once inside, you'll be strictly on your own.
Of course.
This is the Malakar ambassador to the U.
S.
greeting her, isn't it? Yes, it's the same Gregory Orrick that was so critical of Kathryn when she took the throne.
You can't blame the man for being chauvinistic about his country, Diana.
Kathryn O'Reilly was a bit of a wild shamrock.
I would label this whole thing, "Handle with care.
" And "Dispatch.
" - Shall we, Steve? - Indeed, we shall.
I'll make the reservations.
You two get packed.
We stay packed, Joe.
How's the weather in Palm Beach? About the same it is in Malakar.
Only more so.
- Good trip.
- So long, Joe.
Ready Jet Star Number 2 for Trevor and Prince immediately.
Come in.
Any problems? Not at all.
My credentials worked perfectly.
You are serving tea, which I didn't order to the honorable Stephen Ludwig President of The American-Malakar Cultural Association.
I can see that male chauvinism is still alive and well.
You're the Honorable Stephen Ludwig, while I'm the honorable new domestic hired to serve at the reception tomorrow.
That's the breaks.
- The tea isn't for you.
It's for Count Diaz.
- Who's he? Some distant cousin of the late king.
- Kitchen talk.
- I'll get it.
They say anything else about him in the kitchen? Not much more.
Watch the butler.
I'm worried about the way he's watching me.
By the way, the local IADC put a tail on Robley after Atkinson's cable.
They lost him.
- He'll turn up.
- Just a second.
- All clear.
- Thank you, Mr.
Ludwig.
Your tea, Count Diaz.
You cannot be a maid.
You must be a princess.
No one as lovely as you should be serving tea.
- It's my privilege, sir.
Will that be all? - Certainly not.
I intend to order everything in Cousin Kathryn's royal kitchen.
Is there a name to go along with such a pretty face? Yes, sir.
Diana.
Diana, the goddess of hunt.
Are you a huntress like your namesake? If you are, I'm your willing prey.
I really must return to my duties, Count Diaz.
If I request that your duty is to join me for tea? I would be flattered, and fired, in that order.
I would throw myself at my cousin's feet, and beg her to rehire you.
Count Diaz, I trust your rooms are comfortable.
My accommodations have brightened considerably.
Thanks, Mr.
Ambassador.
What may I do for you? Queen Kathryn has granted your request for a private audience.
Before tea? - Immediately.
- How thoughtful.
I'm afraid, lovely Diana, you'll have to take this back to the kitchen.
- Yes, sir.
- But keep it warm.
I'll be in touch.
Wonderful country, America.
Its servants are more beautiful than some of my royal cousins.
Suppose we stop playing games, Count Diaz? You can start by telling me who you are.
Why, Kathryn I'm your dear departed husband's second cousin once removed.
In that case, you may remove yourself.
Because there is no such person.
I had to tell the ambassador something to acquire an invitation.
In actual fact, Your Majesty, I'm Agent Clark Scott Inter Agency Defense Command.
I'd begun to wonder if my homeland had forsaken me.
Far from it, Your Majesty.
The orders to protect you come from very rarified territory.
I'm so surrounded with enemies in Malakar it's hard to believe I could have a friend.
But you have.
And not just in the top drawer.
I pulled every string I could to obtain this assignment.
It's an honor to serve you, Your Majesty.
How gallant.
Thank you, Mr.
Scott.
Count Diaz, your cousin.
Of course.
Once removed.
- Won't you sit down? - Thank you.
Now, to get back to business the United States is quite concerned about the safety of the royal jewels.
May I ask why you brought them on such a risky journey? Ambassador Orrick insisted that it would be the best possible way to silence my many critics in Malakar.
You see, they believe that I'm nothing but a fortune hunter.
But if I can bring the crown jewels here to my native country, and return them safely to Malakar my critics will be out of ammunition.
I find his advice questionable.
Now that the jewels are here, we must do our best to protect them.
I've taken a few precautionary measures of my own.
The Consulate's security system is excellent.
I understand that the vault here is near impregnable.
I agree.
But that would be the first place that the thief would look for the jewels.
Then they're not in the vault? The crown and the diamond necklace are in a hidden safe.
Then, may I suggest, Your Majesty it remain your secret? Thank you.
Then I need only trust myself.
An excellent idea.
Now I need only protect you.
I've long believed, you know that the most valuable jewel of Malakar was her queen.
Thank you.
You've made me feel very welcome, Mr.
Scott.
Won't you join me for refreshments? Perhaps some tea? Thank you.
Allow me.
This is Count Diaz.
Would you tell my maid, Diana, that she can serve my tea in here? Yes, immediately.
Thank you.
Since you feel threatened by some of your countrymen have you checked your chambers for listening devices? - You mean bugs.
- Yes, bugs.
Let's begin by looking at the more obvious places, shall we? Electronic surveillance has become a fine art, Your Majesty.
To the point where it is now possible to conceal a transistorized transmitter in the olive of a dry martini.
These tiny objects, no larger than a dime can be placed anywhere.
Behind curtains the telephone, bookcases.
Literally anywhere.
One cannot be too careful, Your Majesty.
Our tea.
I'll just make sure.
Diana, I knew by asking for you, we'd receive amazing service.
Thank you, my dear.
You've been such a help.
You may go.
Come in.
- Steve, you're not going to believe this.
- What? - I left with tea for Count Diaz, right? - Right.
I served it to Evan Robley in the Queen's chambers.
- He certainly doesn't lack nerve.
- Or charm.
Kathryn's eating out of his hand.
What's he doing with the queen when the subterranean vault is under the consulate? Is it possible the jewels are not in the vault? Anything's possible with Evan Robley.
- We better get rid of him.
- Easier said.
Do you think we should warn her? From what you've told me, she just might blow our cover.
What should we do? Joe arranged for a warrant.
If we can get him off the consulate grounds we can legally take him into custody.
He's a very clever man, Steve.
It won't be easy.
I got a plan that just might do it.
Meet me by the front gate after dark.
Can you make it? The question is can you? Don't worry about that.
Be careful, Steve.
Good evening.
Lose your way? As a matter of fact, I've found it, Mr.
Robley.
You seem to have the social advantage of knowing my name.
Am I committing some unforgivable faux pas by not remembering yours? My name isn't important, but my business is.
So I'll get right down to it.
I'd like to buy the royal jewels of Malakar.
Unfortunately, they are not mine to sell.
I see.
Well, before you fence them I suggest you listen to my offer.
This is all purely hypothetical, of course.
But do you have any specific numbers, or types of currency in mind? I'm talking about a very realistic amount of untraceable cash in the millions.
- How can I be certain you'll deliver? - You come with me and I'll show you.
Are you suggesting I leave the grounds? The amount of money we're talking about cannot be carried by one man.
If you can't take the mountain of money to Mohammed Then Mohammed must move to the money.
Right.
It's a short drive.
15 minutes.
I must say it's a very interesting proposition.
The sight of neatly stacked treasury notes is my favorite scenery.
Shall we? This little trip will set you up for the rest of your life.
I better call the queen.
Why? After all, she does have custody of the baubles in question however temporary.
What was her private extension? I have it here somewhere I'm sure.
Sorry, old boy.
Nice try.
Let's see if we can find out who you really are.
Count Diaz? Steve.
- Diana, get out.
Fast.
- Let me untie you.
There's no time.
Robley sent for the security guards.
If they find you here, we're both out of action.
I can't leave you here.
You've got to.
He knows who I am.
He found the warrant.
Only you can stop him now.
Put this gag back, and get out of here.
Come on.
Do it! Let's put him in a basement cell.
Fortunately, Mr.
Scott here discovered that Mr.
Ludwig was not the president of The American-Malakar Cultural Association but a rather infamous jewel thief, Evan Robley.
We are greatly indebted to you, Mr.
Scott.
There are times when duty becomes a pleasure, Your Majesty.
We'll hold him in our basement detention cell until after you've left the country, Your Majesty.
The publicity might prove most unfavorable.
I don't believe we need have any further fear for the jewels.
Not as long as Mr.
Scott has my interest at heart.
Please, Your Majesty, you really must get some rest.
- You've a big day tomorrow.
- Thank you, Mr.
Ambassador.
And thanks to you, Mr.
Scott, my rest will be untroubled.
Good night, Your Majesty.
- Good night, Your Majesty.
- Good night.
I hope that's the last time I bow to that American upstart.
Providing, of course, you're as good as they say.
With that undercover agent out of the way the robbery will be child's play.
My friends and I are paying you too much for mere child's play.
If you want to quibble about price, let's forget it.
No.
Steal the jewels.
Now.
It will be worth your fee just to see Kathryn's disgrace.
When she appears at tomorrow's reception and I start the rumor that her jewels are missing Queen Kathryn of Malakar will again be common Kate of Boston.
Please spare the details.
I find politics a bore.
The Queen's order.
Please open the door.
If she complains the food's cold, shall I tell her who's to blame? Thank you.
- What is it? - Late supper, Your Majesty.
At this time of night? I ordered no supper.
- What do you want? - I had to see you, Your Majesty.
You're being tricked.
The royal jewels are in great danger and so are you.
How does a maid acquire this information? I'm not a maid.
My name's Diana Prince.
I work with the IADC.
You're working with Agent Scott? He is not an agent.
He is a jewel thief.
Evan Robley.
But Robley's been captured.
That wasn't Robley.
That was Steve Trevor.
We're both agents.
We were sent to protect you and stop the real Evan Robley from stealing the royal jewels.
Agent Scott's credentials were thoroughly checked by my ambassador.
- You're obviously lying.
- No.
Your Majesty, I'm telling the truth.
You've got to believe me.
Call this number.
It's in Washington.
They'll verify everything I've told you.
Excuse me for disturbing you so late, Your Majesty.
Telegram from Washington.
Eyes only.
This is not your handwriting, my Queen.
Someone wishes you to spend your time chatting with a White House telephone operator? In the middle of the night.
This maid she's been telling me the most incredible story about Agent Scott.
She claims he's an imposter.
- Guards! - You've got to believe me.
She's an accomplice of that jewel thief we captured.
Place this woman under arrest! After her! Follow me.
Gentlemen! You're in no danger.
- Wonder Woman? - Yes.
I must still be asleep.
I thought you were a dream, a legend.
I'm real.
As real as you.
If you want physical proof, I suggest you examine your window.
Let me help.
- Majesty.
- Thank you.
- You did that? - Yes.
Even seeing it with my own eyes, I can't believe it.
- So you're not a fable? - No.
Tell me, why did you come? Because there's no one else that can help you.
Before tonight, I would have believed you.
Since my husband died, I've been alone among many enemies.
But now, I have help from my native government.
Agent Scott of the IADC.
Your Highness, I'm afraid that you've been badly deceived.
The man you think is Agent Scott is really Evan Robley.
He tricked you into giving away your secret about the jewels and he tricked you into imprisoning the real agent sent to protect you.
Some maid told me the same thing earlier.
But I refused to listen.
That poor man.
We must release him.
We can't now.
If we do they'll know someone else on the inside of the consulate is on your side.
You'd really be in danger then.
Steve Trevor is safe where he is.
He's an agent.
He'll understand what we're doing.
Robley seemed such a pleasing man.
I think that he was just taking advantage of your vulnerability.
Now we have to protect your jewels.
- How? - Robley knows where you've hidden them.
How can he? I've told no one.
You didn't have to.
When he came to see you earlier as Count Diaz he watched you very closely.
In your distress, you gave away their location without even knowing it.
Men like that train themselves to notice every indication.
They're hidden in the safe behind the coat of arms in your sitting room.
How did you know that? I thought I'd been so clever.
There are no clever victims.
Don't worry about that.
I'll keep them safe for you.
- I'm glad you're on my side.
- Me, too.
Let's go and get your jewels.
They're gone.
Stolen.
We're too late.
My enemies have won.
One battle doesn't win a war.
I must remember to put up a sign: "Please knock before trespassing.
" What do I do? Salute? Do thieves salute? If there is something worse than a trespasser, it must be a name-caller.
To liberty and to beauty.
How about some champagne? Then you can toast me.
How long have you been in this room, Robley? About 32 hours.
I checked in yesterday at 2:30 a.
m.
, Paris time.
I'm only interested in tonight.
- Am I suspected of something? - Of stealing the Queen's jewels.
I really don't have to answer such a discourteous insinuation.
Excuse me.
I did not steal the royal jewels.
You're playing games with me.
Games? Repeat that, please, if you can.
I did not steal the royal jewels.
My apologies, Mr.
Robley.
It's quite all right.
As a matter of fact, you're welcome to search my rooms.
Maybe I didn't ask you the right question.
It's a distinct possibility.
Must I? I hate the idea of being forced into doing anything.
It's my criminal nature, I suppose.
May I have some more champagne? - Please? - Please.
I should have asked you if you knew where they were hidden.
I would have told you they were most probably in the Consulate security room.
Go on.
As you undoubtedly know stealing is the only work I'm trained to do.
May I say that none of my other professional endeavors have introduced me to such a charming investigator.
What a pity.
It was all for nothing.
- You call these nothing? - A slight exaggeration.
Actually, they're worth, in these inflationary times about $83.
I asked you if you'd stolen the royal jewels.
- You're saying these are fakes? - Or phonies, if you prefer.
Cheap imitations.
Why did you bother? I was tricked.
So were you.
It's Queen Kathryn who's been tricked.
She's the one who's gonna suffer.
Whoever stole the real jewels has stolen her throne as well.
She'll be forced to abdicate.
- Really? - Yes.
She won't give up without a fight.
They don't call her the wild shamrock for nothing.
We have to devise a plan to get those jewels back before the reception.
- Do you know where they are? - I'm not sure.
The real jewels were stolen long before I stole the fakes.
Who do you suspect? I think I can prove who took them, on two conditions.
First, you must keep yourself hidden for about five minutes.
- And - Second? A bothersome detail, actually.
Amnesty.
Amnesty? Why should you be given amnesty? Because if I'm not, I'll only have to escape.
I'm growing very weary of wearing disguise after ridiculous disguise.
I have a few friends at the IADC I might be able to arrange it for you.
I'm sure you can.
Meanwhile, to show my good faith I'll just invite my suspect in here.
You're supposed to be on your way to the airport.
I ran into a slight problem, Mr.
Ambassador.
The jewels that you hired me to steal are fakes.
What does it matter? You weren't stealing on a commission basis.
Somehow, I feel short-changed.
I imagine your co-conspirators will feel the same way if they knew you had appropriated the jewels for yourself.
Then I would suggest that you don't inform them.
You did your job and were generously paid for it.
I suggest you forget the rest.
That is, if you value your life.
Of course, Mr.
Ambassador.
If you put it that way, I'm sorry I asked.
Good.
I'd hate to see you neutralized, Mr.
Robley.
We may find other occasions to do business together.
Hopefully.
I imagine you're keeping the jewels in the security room.
I thought your dangerous attack of curiosity had been cured.
A momentary relapse.
My apologies.
It's none of my concern.
Now you're getting the picture.
Goodbye, Mr.
Robley.
Look after your health.
How very thoughtful.
Thank you.
An immediate change of climate is a prescription that should do wonders for your longevity.
Color me vanished.
Mr.
Robley, you make an excellent detective.
Please, there's no need to be cruel.
At least I know who's behind this now.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
He undoubtedly, has the jewels in the security room.
It's the only logical place.
He wouldn't risk moving them from the consulate.
The security room provides maximum protection.
Maximum is an understatement.
That vault makes Fort Knox look like a piggy bank.
The entire floor is an electronic alarm.
The slightest pressure on it will fill the room with deadly gas.
How could you have possibly expected to get in there? - Did you have a plan- - Of course I have a plan.
Good.
I will help you carry it off.
Better still, we release Steve Trevor and there'll be three of us.
All for one and all that.
The three musketeers.
My fellow musketeer, there is a slight detail.
The floor of the vault could blow all three of us to kingdom come.
See for yourself.
They're gone.
I am devastated, Your Majesty.
How may I help? There's nothing you can do now.
Soon the world will witness my shame.
If only there were some way to spare you this ordeal.
Perhaps if I announced your abdication.
I have more courage than you think, Ambassador.
I'm not a blue-blood in the purest sense.
True, my grandfather came to this country in steerage.
He left my mother in London.
My father always had to work hard.
He began life with what was known as "an Irish teaspoon.
" A shovel.
Since I never expected to have a throne the thought of abdication is less of a trauma than you might think.
- I, Your Majesty? What- - Not necessarily you, Ambassador.
I merely meant to point out that though I haven't experienced poverty personally it is certainly no stranger to me.
I don't fear it for myself.
I do, however, fear it for my people.
The Americans, Your Majesty? My people are the Malakans.
Yes, of course.
Please, if you Leave me now.
I must think what my husband would have wanted me to do.
Resigning now would save you much grief.
We both know that you are innocent but the facts do appear otherwise.
Why torture yourself? And why torture those of us who love and admire you? Thank you.
Ambassador Orrick.
I realize my enemies would stop at nothing to dethrone me.
When they get my head they will be getting the head of a queen.
Well, musketeers, this is it.
One of us has to stand guard.
And needless to say, an interruption could be fatal.
You know the area.
She's got the power.
I'll cover for you.
Thanks, Steve.
You say the slightest pressure on this floor would release a lethal gas? If we drop a hair on this floor, it will kill us both in half a second.
Then this trip will have to be by air.
Tie this off.
- And hold on to it, tight.
- Right.
Now lower me.
No, wait! Stop.
Not that much.
Sorry.
Don't be sorry, just pull.
Slowly.
Stop.
That's it.
Now tie it off.
I know the combination.
So do I.
I'm gonna throw it to you.
Catch.
Over there.
What sort of circus performance is this? You should have left when you could, Robley.
I warned you about your curiosity.
You're not the only one who knew the area, Robley.
Orrick knew it, too.
Get down there, Robley.
Come, now, Mr.
Ambassador.
I'm sure you don't want my messy footprints on your shiny floor.
You wanted to see the safe, Robley.
There it is.
Down! Mr.
Trevor, you can join the act, too.
Was I right about the jewels? Yes, you were.
You know, if you play your cards right I think you can talk me into a permanent partnership.
Right, Robley.
Where did you How did you Not now.
No one is more deserving of this than you, Your Majesty.
This is a very private coronation.
Each one of you in your own way is responsible for it.
And my apologies to you, Mr.
Trevor.
It comes with the territory, Your Majesty.
I must tell you it was long my husband's dream that our two countries be united in friendship.
You have helped make that dream come true.
Thank you.
Come on, Steve.
Get me out of this.
We'll blow our cover.
My favorite maid.
Diana, I thought you had forsaken me.
I think I'll have some champagne- Since you'll no longer be working as a thief why not try your hand as a waiter? Diana is an agent for the IADC.
Your Majesty.
How did you get in here? They've been asking that question ever since I can remember.
I feel neglected, Your Majesty.
I needed some way to attract your royal attention.
I should've thought anonymity was a part of your stock in trade, Mr.
Robley.
The unfortunate truth is I no longer have a trade.
Frankly, I hold you responsible.
Must I drink alone, Your Majesty? I hope you won't feel neglected if I don't offer you a knighthood? A simple "thank you" would do nicely, Your Majesty.
Exactly what am I supposed to be grateful to you for? There's Gregory Orrick, whose downfall I most certainly hastened.
Wonder Woman and the IADC had something to do with that.
Of course.
Would they have appeared at all if I had not provided the impetus? Your logic amazes me.
Then consider this.
Where are they now when you're in real danger? Danger? Of being kissed.
I'd rather give you a knighthood, Mr.
Robley.
That's what you say now.
As we become better acquainted, you may change your mind.
Will that be all, Mr.
Robley? Don't you mean Sir Evan? You truly are everything they say about you.
And willing to be more.
I could use an ambassador.
Wonder Woman would have loved this.
Steve, she's She's probably seen it all before with the original cast.
English