Big City Greens (2018) s02e08 Episode Script

[theme song plays]
One, two
One, two, three, four ♪
[vocalizing]
[chicken clucks]
-[CRICKET] Aah!
-[BILL] Quit squirmin', Cricket.
You need sunscreen!
It's so slimy!
You were just telling me
how much you love slime!
Ahh, a day at the beach.
Alice, can you help me with--
Nope. Leavin' to get a pretzel.
Ohh, that sounds good. Think you could--
[GRAMMA] Can't hear you over the sound
of me walkin' away.
Tilly! What ya up to, punkin?
Oh, just buryin' Saxon,
but he's all head,
so there's not much to bury.
Ooh, count me in, I want to try!
Well, that'd be way more fun, Mama.
I'm gonna get more sand!
Oh, Tilly,
there's plenty of sand everywhere.
All right, we're all screened up.
What do you say we toss around
the ol' football?
-It's squishy!
-[squeaks]
Boy, what are you doin'?
You've got that devious look in your eyes.
[evil laugh]
I'm not doing anything.
How dare you insinuate that I,
your own flesh and blood,
would do anything behind your back? Hey!
A shark fin? You were gonna
prank people with this, weren't you?
Well, not on my watch, mister.
[stammering] But Uh
Wha Moooooom!
Dad took away my shark fin.
Shark fin? Were you gonna use it
to prank these nice people at the beach?
Hm. Yeh.
Hm. Yeh.
[both] Yeh.
Knock yourself out, kiddo.
-Hee! [scatting]
-Nancy!
[inhales deeply, groans]
If your father says "no,"
it's a "no," Cricket.
Hm. Thanks, Daaaaad.
Look, Nancy, you gotta
back me up sometimes.
I'm tired of bein' the bad guy.
Aw, but you're so good at it!
Like how I'm good at being the fun parent!
It's like that shirt I have says.
-[roaring]
-[electric guitar riff]
[BILL] Well, you're not gonna be
the fun parent today.
You're holdin' onto this
and bein' the responsible one.
Ugh. Fine.
Great! And I'll be the fun one.
You hear that, Tilly?
You're buryin' me instead!
Makes no difference to me,
so long as someone's
gettin' in the ground.
Oh, boy, this is gonna be fun!
-[Bill and Tilly laughing]
-[BILL] Careful! Careful, Tilly!
[groans] Responsible.
Ahh, the one
good thing about the beach.
Pretzels as big as your head
and no one to share 'em with.
Heh-heh, you're gonna make me so thirsty.
-Aah
-[squawking]
[exclaiming]
Ahh! Ha-ha!
Not so proud now that I've plucked you
from the sky, huh?
I know you got hollow bones.
This ain't ending well for ya!
[whistle blowing]
Ooh, that whistle's very loud.
Sorry about that, but I've got
a zero-tolerance policy
for fighting on the beach.
Shove off, ya Pinkerton!
This don't concern you. What the--
I'm afraid I have no choice
but to take you both to jail!
Beach jail!
My mum gave me these!
[CRICKET] Aw man, look at these chumps.
I could've pulled off
the perfect prank! If I only had my fin
Oh? What's this, now?
Father is having a sandy time
while Mother guards the fin?
This changes everything
Mom
What's goin' on, kiddo?
Oh, I was just seeing how we were feeling
about the whole shark fin situation.
Wanted to know if you'd be interested
in giving it back. To me.
Sorry, bud, I would. But today,
I'm the responsible parent.
No problem. I guess
I'll just have to give up on
doing the superest, coolest,
most legendary prank
this beach has ever seen!
Legendary? It's OK at best.
Oh, yeah? Well, how would you do it?
Well, see, you gotta lay down
the groundwork first.
Plant the fear of sharks
in people's heads beforehand.
And then, hoo boy,
when they do see that fin,
the look of terror on their faces
will be priceless! I gave you the fin.
Thanks, Mom!
OK, I love you, bye!
It'll be fine!
Nice work, Tilly!
You're gonna want a ratio
of two part sand to one part water.
You're sure being particular
about my playtime, Papa.
I thought today you were supposed to be
the "fun parent."
Oh, nothing more fun than a job well done!
Oh, yeah, it's like that shirt Mama has.
-[tiger roaring]
-[electric guitar riff]
How does she have such cool clothes?
Anyway, you're doin' great, Tilly.
I can barely move!
If you can move at all,
then I need to do better.
[music playing]
Let's all go to the beach ♪
Let's all go to the beach ♪
If you're here
You're at the beach ♪
Beach, beach, beach
Beach be-beach ♪
[all] Yeah!
Hello there, little boy.
Care to join our beachside boogie?
By golly, I'd love to! But I'm worried
there might be sharks in the water.
I heard they can gobble up
a kid in one bite.
[laughs] Not to worry, son.
The chances of a shark
showing up on this beach
are incredibly slim!
Phew! That's a relief.
'Cause I just scraped up
my knee real bad, and I'm worried a shark
might smell the blood!
I put a bandage on it,
but it's barely hangin' on!
Anyway, I'm goin' for a dip.
Y'all have a nice day!
Let's all go to the bea-- ♪
Not now, Jeremy.
[humming, chuckles]
-Eee!
-[chuckling]
[BILL] Who you wavin' at, Nancy?
I, uh, can't really see the ocean.
Oh! I was just waving to the, uh--
Uh, the mayor! Of the beach!
Aw, really? Dang, would've said hi.
Hm?
Uh, Tilly? Tilly!
Wow. Double ocean.
[BILL] Tilly!
[GRAMMA] Now, I don't wanna tell you
how to do your job, Mr. Lifeguard.
But don't you think
you're going a little overboard?
[squawks]
Unfortunately, you did the crime.
And now, you're gonna do the time!
A one-hour time out!
An hour? I don't have that kinda time.
I'm old! Can I at least
have my pretzel back?
Sorry, but this is evidence!
Ooh, tastes like crime!
You monster.
Hm?
I know we're not supposed
to drink ocean water,
but it just tastes so darn good, ya know?
[both screaming]
Ha-ha! [coughing]
-Salt water.
-[chuckling]
Nancy, what's all the commotion out there?
I can't see a dang thing!
Oh, uh, don't worry.
It's just some rowdy kids.
-Shark! Shark in the water!
-[screaming]
Shark? Nancy, did you
give Cricket that fin?
What? No, no, no, no.
It's probably a real shark
OK, fine! Yeah! I did!
[gasps] Nancy, how could you!
Because it's fun!
That doesn't matter! It sounds like you
forgot about the shirt I own!
[lackluster kazoo fanfare]
"Responsibility is no joke."
I know. But I'm the fun parent.
I can't help it!
Now, if you'll excuse me
Hey!
I'm gonna watch our son
do a hilarious prank
that is objectively fun!
Fine! Go! I'll be here,
wishing I had the ability
to scratch my face! Hmph!
Not now!
[kissing] Mmm, mmm!
Oh, I am truly sorry
how much I enjoyed that pretzel.
This is worse than any torture
I've ever given or received.
[people screaming]
That doesn't sound good!
Better go check it out!
Hey, wait! I'm having a heart attack!
-You have to let me out!
-[door opens, closes]
Ehh, figured it was worth a shot.
Well, ring-a-ding-ding.
Listen up, gull. I don't like you,
and I think you don't like me.
But if we work together,
we can get out of this mess.
-[squawks]
-Then let's roll!
[grunts]
Ooh! [inhales sharply]
Ehh, ehh
Yeah!
-Freedom!
-[squawks]
I hope that lifeguard
saved room for dessert,
'cause I'm makin' him a big tasty slice
of revenge!
[NANCY] Ohh, here it comes.
You better watch out!
Ha! Got 'im!
That's my boy! [chuckles]
And Bill thought
this would get outta hand.
[gasps] Oh, what's this, now?
Ha-ha! Even the lifeguard
is getting worried!
[gulps] Wh-- What's he planning
to use that for?
I'm gonna go kill a shark!
Hang on, Cricket! Mama's comin'!
Nancy, what's goin' on?
Why'd you run off screaming,
"Hang on, Cricket"?
Tilly! You gotta get me outta here!
Oh, my. OK!
-Hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry!
-Whoa!
[panting] It's too tough!
I'm sorry, Papa,
but you're never gettin' outta there.
Oh, my gosh! Cricket's in trouble,
and Nancy's on her own!
[gasps] Cricket! Cricket!
Where are you, shark?
[chuckles] And now, for the main event.
Aah! The shark's got me!
-It's chewin' my legs off!
-Huh?
Aah!
You'll pay for this, shark!
Cricket!
It pains me to do this,
you beautiful creature,
but eating people
is the number one beach crime!
-[grunts]
-[grunts] Oh, dear!
Sorry, ma'am, but I'm gonna have to
put you in beach jail for that one.
Listen, that shark is a little boy.
He's my son!
And he's also my brother.
The ocean unites us all!
Oh, well. All said and good.
I'm a better shot with this, anyway.
-Wait! Don't! Huh?
-[gulls squawking]
-[GRAMMA] Hey, pretzel thief!
-Huh?
You messed with the wrong Gramma!
For I am the bird queen!
[screaming] Hey! Aah!
Come on, Tilly! You gotta keep tryin'!
-Cricket needs help!
-[TILLY] I'm tryin', Papa!
The one day I don't bring
my power tools
Hm? Hey, sweetie,
I think there's somethin'--
[claws snap]
Aah!
Mm? Aah!
Oh, my goodness! Thank you,
you majestic crustacean!
Mmwah!
[panting]
[chuckles] Suckers. Scared everyone
out of the water. Oh, hey, Mom.
You see my prank?
Cricket Green, what is wrong
with your mother?
Heh?
Nancy, what were you thinkin'?
Your kid's safety
is more important than fun!
Uh, are you giving yourself a talkin'-to?
Nancy Green, I'm grounding you
for a month!
No! You can't! Me and Cricket
were gonna throw light bulbs
off a bridge next week!
Well, that's too bad.
You need to be a responsible parent,
and that means doing less dangerous stuff.
Wait, there's no need for that!
Uh, look! My fin! [grunts]
It's gone! I'm done! It's my fault!
And no more buying
illegal fireworks for Cricket.
Please, stop, I'm beggin' ya!
- I won't do it again! I'm sorry.
-Phew!
OK, I'm here! What's wrong?
Who needs first aid? Hm?
[crying] I'm sorry.
I'll never do it again.
-[sobbing]
-[BILL] Wow, Nancy.
Looks like you really can
lay down the law when you need to.
Heh, yeah, well, I'm workin' on it.
Anyways, you have fun with Tilly today?
Oh! She's a fantastic sand architect,
through and through!
Oh, Papa. You flatter me.
Oh, hey. Where's Alice?
[GRAMMA] Come on, everybody!
Pretzels on me!
[whimpers]
Ahh! Another beautiful morning
in Big City-- Oh, it's still night.
[grunts] I hate this poster!
And I hate nighttime!
I'm gonna go find some entertainment.
Boring!
Staring contest, one-two-three-go!
[straining] Argh, you're boring, you lose!
There!
[whispering] Boooring
Dangit, what am I supposed to do
till the sun comes up?
[TILLY] Live, from inside
a rabbit's nose
Ehh, quiet down, Tilly.
I'm tryin' think here.
A-wha-huh-huh?
This is Miss Tilly's
Fun Time TV Hour!
Oh, man, is Tilly sleep-talkin'?
Hello, friends
We're all together again
on another beautiful mornin'.
-Right, Mr. Hops?
-Right-o, Tilly-o!
The day is startin'
The clock keeps spinin' ♪
Time keeps whirlin'
And space is swirlin' ♪
The world is tiny
And kinda whiny ♪
But it's all funny
With Miss Tilly! ♪
-[horns honking]
-[crowd cheering]
[ANNOUNCER] Miss Tilly's Fun Time TV Hour!
-[flatulent sound]
-Brought to you by Giant Foot!
You've seen a foot, but never this big.
-Ooh, yeah Ahh
-You've got a real weird brain, sister.
I'm sure glad you could
make it to another episode.
Let me put on something
a little more comfortable.
[wolf whistle]
That's better!
Now, could someone bring me a tea?
Oh, never mind. I got it!
[mermaid children cheering]
[TILLY] Thank you,
my audience of mermaid children.
Friends, today, we're gonna
learn about zamwopples!
[ROBOT VOICE] Zamwopples.
What the heck is a "zamwopple"?
Great question.
A zamwopple is defined
as a wopple that zams.
Wait, she can hear me?
Well, this changes everything!
[sinister chuckle]
[inhales deeply] Hey, Miss Tilly
[CRICKET'S VOICE]
Do you take audience requests?
Because I'd like a, um I'd like a cow!
What the viewers want, the viewers get.
-[horns blow]
-[moos]
And, uh, give it two heads!
-And a fancy suit!
-[horns blowing]
Well, aren't you the belle of the ball?
[snickers] Now, yodel! Yodel to the cow!
[yodeling]
-[mumbling]
-[snickers] Now, this makes nighttime
a little less boring.
I wonder what else I can do
with my newfound ability. [grunts]
Yodel-odel-ay ♪
[yodeling]
-Muh-ew!
-Taking audience requests.
This show's lost its spark.
Hee-hooooo! ♪
[COW HEAD #2] OK, kid, we've heard enough.
Your show has changed.
And now, you're yesterday's patatas.
We want to take things
in a
[BOTH] Different direction.
[whimpering]
Now, let's see what father's up to.
[shallow breaths] Weather sure is nice
Hey, Dad! Mmmmm Whatcha dreamin' about?
Oh, I'm just takin' a drive
out in the country
In your truck?
In my truck?
[BILL'S VOICE] No! I am the truck!
-[screeches]
-Hi, bird!
Ahh That's the stuff.
-Another perfect day.
-[CRICKET] Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Hang on a second.
If you're a car,
then who's drivin' you?
Well, I guess that'd have to be me!
[BILL'S VOICE] Hey, there, Bill.
Great weather we're havin'!
So you're a truck
bein' driven by another truck
that is also you?
Well, then, who's drivin' that truck?
-Uhh
-Uhh
If he's drivin' me, then am I drivin' him?
Do we drive each other?
Careful, Dad,
you're gonna make your engine overheat.
Is there somethin' wrong with my engine?
I don't know. Why don't you
pop the hood open and check it out?
Right. Pop the hood.
Good idea!
Wow, this is great!
I can make him say things, do things!
I'm like a puppet man
wrigglin' their dream strings!
Makes me wonder what Gramma's
dreamin' about.
Can you take a look for me, Bill?
Sure thing, Bill. I-- huh?
[all grunting]
[all growl]
You weren't supposed to see this!
[screaming]
[muttering]
Gramma Hey, whatcha doin', Gramma?
I'm showin' this wood
-who's boss!
-[gong sounds]
Phew! Ahh, surviving off the land.
I'm livin' the dream!
Yes, Alice, this is the life.
Dominatin' the wilderness
-with no one around to bother me!
-[knocking at door]
[CRICKET'S VOICE] Wait! Did you hear that?
Uh-oh! Someone's at the door!
Better go answer it! [snickers]
I can't believe she's actually
-getting out of bed!
-All right, yeah, I'm comin'
[GRAMMA] Huh? There's no one here.
[CRICKET] Look down!
It's a cute little gnome!
What the-- What do you want?
[clears throat, toots horn]
I'm a gnomey gnome!
I love your lovely home! ♪
I bring a gift for you!
This tiny gnome-made shoe! ♪
You can call me Doug!
Would you like a hug? ♪
-You're annoying!
-[snickers]
You better stomp 'im, Gramma.
Stomp that gnome! [laughs]
[yawns] Well, turns out
this night was anything but boring.
But now, it's sleepy time.
-Goodnight, Gramma!
-[grunting]
Alice smash! There. Problem solved.
Ha-ha! That was fun!
The rest of my family wants to play, too!
-Hi!
-How are you?
Aah! Get away from me!
-Get back! Back, you demons!
-[gnomes chittering]
Hee hee hee! I'm flammable!
-[groaning]
-Hi, there!
Hey, guys, let's smoochy her muscles!
-What? No! No!
-[smooching]
[yawns loudly] Yeah!
I'm a sleepy boy
And I'm gettin' into bed ♪
I'm a sleepy boy ♪
-[Tilly screams]
-[screaming] Oof!
What the hey? That sounded like Tilly?
[GRAMMA] Get away from me,
you little freaks!
[BILL] What am I? What am I?
Ohh, that does not sound good.
Hey, guys uh-- What in the--
-How's this for entertainment?
-I'll kill ya! I'll kill ya all!
What's happening?
Uh, Dad, what are you guys doin'?
Aah! I'm sorry!
I didn't mean to look under the hood!
You weren't supposed to see us!
No one's supposed to see us!
[all scream]
Oh, geez. Oh, Pete's.
Where'd they go? Did I lose 'em?
[screams]
What is this supposed to mean?
[crying] Nothing makes sense!
Dad! [grunts] Snap out of it!
[GRAMMA] C'mere you varmints!
Get a taste of what Gramma's cookin'!
I chew you up and spit you out!
[all] Love is good! Love is great!
-Uh-oh!
-Here come my legs!
Disgusting.
Kiss steel, you lovey dovey freaks!
Gramma, what are you doing?
Please, Mr. Cow. Give me a chance!
I can be funny! See, watch!
[old car horn sound]
Utterly ridiculous.
Ridiculous?
We are moooo-ving on to another host.
[COW HEAD #1]
Meet your replacement, Puppy Benny.
Hello!
[COW HEAD #2]
Half puppy, half adorable child.
[COW HEAD #1]
How can you compete with that?
You can't!
-[gasps]
-[party horns blow]
Please don't replace me! I can be funny!
I'm sorry, OK! I'll do better!
Tilly, ya gotta stop this!
Please, don't cancel my show!
Oh, boy. What have I done?
I've turned their dreams into nightmares!
I've gotta wake 'em up!
You all have left me no choice
but to be loud and annoying!
Wake up, wake up, wake up, wake up!
Aah! Huh?
-What the--
-He's finally arrived!
-King Dingles!
-[gibberish] Dingles!
I love you!
I must destroy it!
Yaah! Aah!
Ow!
Ahh! Ow!
It's a perfect day to work on my truck!
Gotta get away from the wrench!
-[mumbling angrily]
-Hm?
Still goin' strong on minute two
of our 12-hour Celtic dance segment!
Uh-- Uh-- Hold on, Tilly!
This has gotta wake you up!
[vocalizing, screaming]
[Celtic music playing]
Thank you, tiny firefighter.
[TINY FIREFIGHTER] You're welcome!
I think we've seen enough.
Please! Just one more chance!
I'm beggin' ya!
-Sorry, sweetheart.
-Your show's garbage,
and we're handing it over to the dog boy.
Bark, bark, bark, bark.
Ahwoo! Ooee!
-[crowd laughing]
-[both laughing] Marvelous!
But you know
what's even funnier than that?
Watchin' someone eat uh
an entire submarine sandwich in one bite!
[party horns blow]
[both, impressed] Moo-ooh!
If she can pull that off
That would change my mind!
[laughs] That's right!
Watch and laugh!
-[both grunting]
-You guys are out of control!
-Ahhhhh
-Huh?
-Tilly! Stop!
-[hisses]
[groans] They're too deep asleep!
Oh, I wish I wasn't so good
at manipulatin' people's dreams!
[gasps] Wait, that's it!
-Family! Hear me!
-Huh?
Listen to the sound of my voice!
-And be calm.
-[both grunting]
Now, journey with me to a peaceful place,
A safe place!
-Good, good. Yeah, that's it.
-[all muttering]
Nothin' can hurt ya now, no.
Everything's all fine and dandy.
But But I'm all these trucks, and
I don't know who's drivin' who,
and what am I gonna--
[CRICKET] Don't worry.
You're not a fleet of trucks.
-You're a man.
-A fleet of man?
[CRICKET] No, just one man.
A good man! Drivin' one truck!
Ahh It just feels right.
Ohh
I must vanquish the Gnome King!
Whoa, now! Easy. Easy, girl.
You already took care of him.
I love--
[CRICKET] Now, would you look at that?
You turned all those gnomes
into a delicious stew!
Mmm-mmm! Smell those tasty gnomes!
[slurping] Ahh
[belches]
I'm alone again? This is perfect!
That's right. Everything is A-OK.
Please! Don't cancel my show!
Ha-ha! Too late!
You just got [demonic voice] zamwoppled!
Uh-uh-uh! There's no business cow,
and Puppy Benny is just a puppy.
[demonic laugh]
Ohh! That's not scary at all!
Do I also get my TV show back?
-[CRICKET] Yes.
-Oh, good!
Welcome back to the show, friends.
[all snoring]
Ohh! And that's the last time
I mess with anyone's dreams.
[relaxed sighing, muttering]
[grunts, yawns]
-Goodnight.
-[rooster crowing]
[yawns] Good mornin'!
Uh-wha-huh?
I just had the best night's sleep!
I did, too! Despite some weird dreams.
Let's seize the day, family!
N-- No! Everyone should just
go back to sleep!
[chuckles] No way, José!
I am so energized from that night of sleep
that I feel like I can conquer the world!
Oh, this must be some kind of
nightmare! Someone, pinch me!
-Let's go start the day, son!
-Up and at 'em!
-All right!
-[Cricket screaming]
Wake up!
You're dreamin'!
I've got sweat in my eyes ♪
Lost a bet and got bit
By a hundred flies ♪
I fell out a big ol' tree ♪
Hit every branch
And scraped up both my knees ♪
I got chased by a dog ♪
Bit by a frog ♪
Got a rash on my legs ♪
Dropped a dozen eggs ♪
I got splinters
In seven and ten ♪
And tomorrow
I'll do it all again ♪