Bump (2021) s02e08 Episode Script
Birds of a Feather
1
Well, I'm sorry, Ol,
but I'm not allowed to
keep it in the bedroom.
Hey, got some exciting
news about my app,
if you're interested.
Well, I'm just trying to
distract you from the pain.
I need to live in a place elsewhere
where stupid people don't put
stupid things in stupid places!
Sorry, darling.
Oh, you stupid
I got the party bag mix.
Bye.
Oh, no, no, no!
- No, no, no!
- Que paso?
Matias! Huh?
Bueno.
Turty-Turts. Hey.
Oh, hey.
- Am I early for changeover?
- No.
There's blood in Turtle's poo.
What?
- See?
- Goodness.
Hey, Turty-Turts.
- You OK?
- Are you all right?
Shh, yes, I know.
We're gonna go in a second.
OK, so, J
if Mummy has $68 in her bank account
and her dream costs 55,
then how many nappies can JJ go through
before we all go broke?
I agree.
"Assuming the diet
has remained constant,
common causes of abnormal droppings
include intestinal
diseases, kidney disease,
liver diseases, bacterial
or viral infections,
parasitic infections "
Oh, no, no, just stop reading it.
" or parrot fever, a
common cause of liver disease
may produce lime-green
droppings in some birds."
Well, it wasn't lime green,
it was sort of greenish.
Can you look up
"greenish poo with blood"?
Well, obviously any colour
is not good in blood.
Yeah, and he keeps puffing up.
Can you look up "puffy bird"?
Puffy
- Hey, Ol.
- Hey, where are you?
Oh! What do you mean?
We were supposed to go swimming.
Oh, sorry, darling, we've
got a bird emergency.
That sounds fake.
- Puffy or fluffy?
- Yeah, look
Turtle's a bit woozy and we
think he's got blood in his poo.
Right.
- Is that why we never had pets?
- Oh, look, this is really serious.
We're gonna head to the vet right now.
Puffy bird is bad, fluffy bird is bad,
all poo things are bad.
For the three of us, 22.50?
Whoa, I had no idea
it was that expensive.
Hey, man. How you going?
Just three of us.
- 22.50, huh?
- That's it.
Have a good swim.
Where are you going?
Where are you going?
Thanks, man.
Yeah.
- Squirt. Squirt, squirt.
- Oh, whoa! Squirt, squirt!
You know, you could save so much money
if you grow your own vegetables.
- Or if you buy 'em wholesale.
- How many vegetables do you eat?
The empanadas eat them.
You know, we could buy chickens too.
Just as long as my parents
aren't allowed anywhere near them,
because evidently they
are not bird people.
I was thinking that I could
start up tutoring again.
Or another part-time job.
In all your spare time?
Yes.
It's just you care about school, Oly.
I don't.
I'm happy to pick up more shifts.
You know I can do two
things at once, right?
Can she?
Whoo!
We would need to do
some tests to confirm,
but I'm expecting it to
be heavy metal poisoning.
Does the bird have a name?
Uh, Turtle.
Bird's name's Turtle.
Do you and Turtle live in an old place?
It's not our place.
But we do take full responsibility.
Oh, yeah, of course we do, yeah.
It's quite common in this area.
There's reno after reno, but the birds
can still peck through
the layers of paint
to the original lead coating.
Oh.
So to confirm a diagnosis,
we would need to do a
preliminary blood test, an X-ray.
I'm afraid he's likely
had a small seizure,
so anticonvulsants would be an option.
And if toxicosis is confirmed,
we'd treat him with fluid therapy.
What's that?
It's akin to kidney dialysis in humans.
Dialysis?
We wouldn't expect that
we'll need to remove
any particles surgically,
but the X-ray would tell us that.
That would be a more
substantial form of treatment.
The cost of diagnosis and treatment
might be something you'd
like to think about.
It can cost a lot of money.
4,800.
Plus GST.
I understand it's a difficult decision,
but if you decide not to proceed,
that's understandable.
What happens if we don't proceed?
He'll die.
No, we can't do that.
- I'll give you a minute.
- Thank you.
Thanks.
Shit!
It's expensive.
But I'd say we have a
moral obligation to it.
Oh, yeah, I'm just wondering
what card are we gonna put it on.
I don't have that money in my account.
- Well, I can get it.
- With what?
I've had an offer. On the app.
I'm serious.
What are you laughing at? It's 21 grand.
I can pay for this easily.
I didn't even know you'd
finished building it.
Well, I haven't, then the
idea will probably get shelved
as soon as the sale goes through, but
Hm.
That seems like a shame.
Yeah, actually, now that
you mention it, I do
Maybe I will say no.
I do wanna get the app made, you know?
Actually help people.
Mm.
You know, don't sell it if
you don't want to sell it.
Yeah, but
Maybe I was already getting
bored of it, you know?
Mm.
Turtle?
- Whoa!
- Shit.
What?
$581?
I thought it was a parent
spot, I thought it was
I didn't think it was disabled parking.
Can we write a letter
to get out of this?
We can't write a letter, Oly,
it's a disabled parking spot.
- This this
- Well, we're teen parents.
I mean, that's practically a disability.
Is it really that much?
Five times more than I make in a shift.
Cool. Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool.
I'm just gonna put Jacinda
in the back by myself.
And what if we get
there and we improvise
We improvise, like, a stall, sí?
You have some foldable
tables. Don't you have some
No, I'm busy too. We're
all busy, you know?
S Hello? Hello?
I left them in the car.
The food truck.
Hey, Ange, Dom.
- Oh, hey!
- Just go inside?
- Yeah.
- All right.
Did you talk to Turtle?
Pretty much every day I was there.
Oh, dear.
Yeah, same.
Hm.
I don't really ever
think he saw my good side.
- Oh, yeah? I know how he feels.
- Oh!
I could say the same thing about you.
No, but
What?
I do miss talking to you.
You're talking now.
You know, like a
That's not what I
meant. I meant, like
You know, like, in the mornings
when we'd wake up together
and just start chattering away.
- I miss that.
- Oh, right!
Yeah, I remember you
pretending to be asleep
on more than one occasion.
I admit nothing.
I was thinking the other day
about how you used to brush Oly's teeth
and then she insisted
on you teaching her
how to brush her own teeth.
It was the most adorably
long and painful lesson
I have ever seen.
And I teach teenagers.
You had the patience of a saint.
They're not bad.
Is it just me or is it really rude
for Bowie to host a drumming circle
in our actual living room?
It's not just you.
Is my family insane?
I actually don't think it's a
good idea for me to answer that.
Well, ladies and gentlemen,
sometimes you just walk into a home
and you can feel the history,
and that is exactly
Isn't this the house where someone died
and nobody found them for, like, a week?
Yeah, I think so, eh?
to make the sort of family life
that you come from all
over the world to enjoy.
Where would you like to
see the bidding start?
I'm in your hands.
Perhaps we start at maybe $3,400,000?
Maybe $3,425,000?
Sir, kick me away at 3.425.
3.425 holds the bid,
first call at 3.425.
- Second chance
- 3.450.
3.450, just in the nick of time, ma'am.
I thought you might, at 3.450 now.
You're in pole position to own the home.
Maybe we say 3.475 from here.
Excuse me.
346. Your call, sir.
- A 10K rise
- No worries.
We'll just walk on
the road. With a baby.
Where our generation's
gonna have to sleep
because of people like you.
3.460, that's the call there
with the gentleman's offer at 3.460.
$20 million!
A new bid at the back there. Thank
you, ma'am for your contribution.
Hey, how about we just
live in a food truck
for the rest of our lives?
Yeah, until we have to
sell it to some wanker
and downsize to a trolley!
I got a better idea
- I'll just drop out of school
and work in a mine for 24 hour
days just to save for a deposit.
Yeah, thank you very much, everybody.
Just a bit of local
colour, folks. Remind you,
the bid's with the
gentleman there at 34 and 6.
346 going once, twice
Sí, sí, sí.
Would you live with me
if I owned that house,
but only because I conned
a pensioner out of it?
Yep.
Wow.
No hesitation.
Shows good strategic skills.
True.
What if I robbed a bank?
You've been watching
too much 'Point Break'.
- Oh!
- Yeah.
She didn't find that very funny.
Do you leave the house and think,
"Phone, wallet Sharpie"?
Mm-hm.
This is something my mum
used to do all the time.
Your mum used to do this?
Mm-hm.
I didn't really get it at the time,
but now
If she thought something was wrong,
she'd make it right.
What?
I'm sorry, I'm, like, 100%
listening to what you're saying.
It's just
I can't stop imagining you
as this, like, vigilante
in a pink cape
- Ah!
- righting graffiti wrongs.
Keeping an eye our for a 'V'
signal in the sky from town hall.
Yeah, exactly. Captain V strikes again!
Yeah.
I think my mum would have liked that.
Their love was forbidden in time ♪
Sacred, infernal ♪
Her name was Angela ♪
And his name was Turtle ♪
Please get whatever
identity crisis this is
under control and let the rest of us
have some peace and quiet.
- Sorry, Ol.
- Sorry, Oly.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
Yeah!
Doesn't like folk music, huh?
Oh!
Remember this one?
Is that
You remember it.
Ready?
I don't wanna be so sanctimonious ♪
I don't wanna be
such a negative prick ♪
But I'm the one who's helping
you through your divorce ♪
- Carol ♪
- Carol ♪
Do you think our kids would
have appreciated us more
if they knew we could
have been a family band?
- I think Bowie
- Bowie probably would.
Yeah, Bowie probably would.
- Oh!
- Oh, is that
Turtle has responded
well to the treatment so far.
And we can pick him up in the morning.
Yes!
- Oh!
- Here's to Turtle.
To Turtle!
- Oh, that's so good.
- Mmm!
Start again.
And I don't think
Trevor is good for you ♪
I don't wanna be your
fuckin' Christmas ham! ♪
I'm the one who's been helping
you through your divorce ♪
Carol! ♪
How can you not be totally
pissed off about this?
They're out there pretending
to be good Samaritans
when when when they've
just spent thousands of dollars
on a bird that isn't even ours!
Would you have let the thing die?
Yes, I would have let it die.
We have a baby.
And a $581 parking ticket.
Oh, my God.
Oly! That's $600! No!
Guess what we're having for dinner.
Empanadas?
No empanadas, no, we
don't have any of those.
Petrol?
Abuelo!
Oi! Oi!
This is Dad. Ready?
"Arggh! Arggh!"
"Mummy, Mummy, Mummy!"
Ah, Santi!
Hi. Hola, Ita.
- Hi, Abuelo. Hi, Ita.
- Ooh!
- Hola!
- Hi!
Are you guys hungry? We have empanadas.
Or empanadas.
Or empanadas.
We're good, thank you. Thank you, Rosa.
Hey, boys.
Come and help us build a cubby house.
- Hi, Seb.
- Ooh.
What's been happening, man?
- What are you guys doing?
- Nothing much.
- Cubby house.
- Building a cubby house.
Here in Marrickville, we have
a great one-bedroom apartment
for first-home buyers.
Great entry-level property.
Family-friendly location.
No psychotic parents.
Well
Oh.
Maybe J will become a brain
surgeon and buy us a real house.
Well, we just gotta get J through uni
and then we can retire
once she's paid my parking fine.
- No pressure, J.
- Yeah, no pressure, J.
Well, I'm sorry, Ol,
but I'm not allowed to
keep it in the bedroom.
Hey, got some exciting
news about my app,
if you're interested.
Well, I'm just trying to
distract you from the pain.
I need to live in a place elsewhere
where stupid people don't put
stupid things in stupid places!
Sorry, darling.
Oh, you stupid
I got the party bag mix.
Bye.
Oh, no, no, no!
- No, no, no!
- Que paso?
Matias! Huh?
Bueno.
Turty-Turts. Hey.
Oh, hey.
- Am I early for changeover?
- No.
There's blood in Turtle's poo.
What?
- See?
- Goodness.
Hey, Turty-Turts.
- You OK?
- Are you all right?
Shh, yes, I know.
We're gonna go in a second.
OK, so, J
if Mummy has $68 in her bank account
and her dream costs 55,
then how many nappies can JJ go through
before we all go broke?
I agree.
"Assuming the diet
has remained constant,
common causes of abnormal droppings
include intestinal
diseases, kidney disease,
liver diseases, bacterial
or viral infections,
parasitic infections "
Oh, no, no, just stop reading it.
" or parrot fever, a
common cause of liver disease
may produce lime-green
droppings in some birds."
Well, it wasn't lime green,
it was sort of greenish.
Can you look up
"greenish poo with blood"?
Well, obviously any colour
is not good in blood.
Yeah, and he keeps puffing up.
Can you look up "puffy bird"?
Puffy
- Hey, Ol.
- Hey, where are you?
Oh! What do you mean?
We were supposed to go swimming.
Oh, sorry, darling, we've
got a bird emergency.
That sounds fake.
- Puffy or fluffy?
- Yeah, look
Turtle's a bit woozy and we
think he's got blood in his poo.
Right.
- Is that why we never had pets?
- Oh, look, this is really serious.
We're gonna head to the vet right now.
Puffy bird is bad, fluffy bird is bad,
all poo things are bad.
For the three of us, 22.50?
Whoa, I had no idea
it was that expensive.
Hey, man. How you going?
Just three of us.
- 22.50, huh?
- That's it.
Have a good swim.
Where are you going?
Where are you going?
Thanks, man.
Yeah.
- Squirt. Squirt, squirt.
- Oh, whoa! Squirt, squirt!
You know, you could save so much money
if you grow your own vegetables.
- Or if you buy 'em wholesale.
- How many vegetables do you eat?
The empanadas eat them.
You know, we could buy chickens too.
Just as long as my parents
aren't allowed anywhere near them,
because evidently they
are not bird people.
I was thinking that I could
start up tutoring again.
Or another part-time job.
In all your spare time?
Yes.
It's just you care about school, Oly.
I don't.
I'm happy to pick up more shifts.
You know I can do two
things at once, right?
Can she?
Whoo!
We would need to do
some tests to confirm,
but I'm expecting it to
be heavy metal poisoning.
Does the bird have a name?
Uh, Turtle.
Bird's name's Turtle.
Do you and Turtle live in an old place?
It's not our place.
But we do take full responsibility.
Oh, yeah, of course we do, yeah.
It's quite common in this area.
There's reno after reno, but the birds
can still peck through
the layers of paint
to the original lead coating.
Oh.
So to confirm a diagnosis,
we would need to do a
preliminary blood test, an X-ray.
I'm afraid he's likely
had a small seizure,
so anticonvulsants would be an option.
And if toxicosis is confirmed,
we'd treat him with fluid therapy.
What's that?
It's akin to kidney dialysis in humans.
Dialysis?
We wouldn't expect that
we'll need to remove
any particles surgically,
but the X-ray would tell us that.
That would be a more
substantial form of treatment.
The cost of diagnosis and treatment
might be something you'd
like to think about.
It can cost a lot of money.
4,800.
Plus GST.
I understand it's a difficult decision,
but if you decide not to proceed,
that's understandable.
What happens if we don't proceed?
He'll die.
No, we can't do that.
- I'll give you a minute.
- Thank you.
Thanks.
Shit!
It's expensive.
But I'd say we have a
moral obligation to it.
Oh, yeah, I'm just wondering
what card are we gonna put it on.
I don't have that money in my account.
- Well, I can get it.
- With what?
I've had an offer. On the app.
I'm serious.
What are you laughing at? It's 21 grand.
I can pay for this easily.
I didn't even know you'd
finished building it.
Well, I haven't, then the
idea will probably get shelved
as soon as the sale goes through, but
Hm.
That seems like a shame.
Yeah, actually, now that
you mention it, I do
Maybe I will say no.
I do wanna get the app made, you know?
Actually help people.
Mm.
You know, don't sell it if
you don't want to sell it.
Yeah, but
Maybe I was already getting
bored of it, you know?
Mm.
Turtle?
- Whoa!
- Shit.
What?
$581?
I thought it was a parent
spot, I thought it was
I didn't think it was disabled parking.
Can we write a letter
to get out of this?
We can't write a letter, Oly,
it's a disabled parking spot.
- This this
- Well, we're teen parents.
I mean, that's practically a disability.
Is it really that much?
Five times more than I make in a shift.
Cool. Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool.
I'm just gonna put Jacinda
in the back by myself.
And what if we get
there and we improvise
We improvise, like, a stall, sí?
You have some foldable
tables. Don't you have some
No, I'm busy too. We're
all busy, you know?
S Hello? Hello?
I left them in the car.
The food truck.
Hey, Ange, Dom.
- Oh, hey!
- Just go inside?
- Yeah.
- All right.
Did you talk to Turtle?
Pretty much every day I was there.
Oh, dear.
Yeah, same.
Hm.
I don't really ever
think he saw my good side.
- Oh, yeah? I know how he feels.
- Oh!
I could say the same thing about you.
No, but
What?
I do miss talking to you.
You're talking now.
You know, like a
That's not what I
meant. I meant, like
You know, like, in the mornings
when we'd wake up together
and just start chattering away.
- I miss that.
- Oh, right!
Yeah, I remember you
pretending to be asleep
on more than one occasion.
I admit nothing.
I was thinking the other day
about how you used to brush Oly's teeth
and then she insisted
on you teaching her
how to brush her own teeth.
It was the most adorably
long and painful lesson
I have ever seen.
And I teach teenagers.
You had the patience of a saint.
They're not bad.
Is it just me or is it really rude
for Bowie to host a drumming circle
in our actual living room?
It's not just you.
Is my family insane?
I actually don't think it's a
good idea for me to answer that.
Well, ladies and gentlemen,
sometimes you just walk into a home
and you can feel the history,
and that is exactly
Isn't this the house where someone died
and nobody found them for, like, a week?
Yeah, I think so, eh?
to make the sort of family life
that you come from all
over the world to enjoy.
Where would you like to
see the bidding start?
I'm in your hands.
Perhaps we start at maybe $3,400,000?
Maybe $3,425,000?
Sir, kick me away at 3.425.
3.425 holds the bid,
first call at 3.425.
- Second chance
- 3.450.
3.450, just in the nick of time, ma'am.
I thought you might, at 3.450 now.
You're in pole position to own the home.
Maybe we say 3.475 from here.
Excuse me.
346. Your call, sir.
- A 10K rise
- No worries.
We'll just walk on
the road. With a baby.
Where our generation's
gonna have to sleep
because of people like you.
3.460, that's the call there
with the gentleman's offer at 3.460.
$20 million!
A new bid at the back there. Thank
you, ma'am for your contribution.
Hey, how about we just
live in a food truck
for the rest of our lives?
Yeah, until we have to
sell it to some wanker
and downsize to a trolley!
I got a better idea
- I'll just drop out of school
and work in a mine for 24 hour
days just to save for a deposit.
Yeah, thank you very much, everybody.
Just a bit of local
colour, folks. Remind you,
the bid's with the
gentleman there at 34 and 6.
346 going once, twice
Sí, sí, sí.
Would you live with me
if I owned that house,
but only because I conned
a pensioner out of it?
Yep.
Wow.
No hesitation.
Shows good strategic skills.
True.
What if I robbed a bank?
You've been watching
too much 'Point Break'.
- Oh!
- Yeah.
She didn't find that very funny.
Do you leave the house and think,
"Phone, wallet Sharpie"?
Mm-hm.
This is something my mum
used to do all the time.
Your mum used to do this?
Mm-hm.
I didn't really get it at the time,
but now
If she thought something was wrong,
she'd make it right.
What?
I'm sorry, I'm, like, 100%
listening to what you're saying.
It's just
I can't stop imagining you
as this, like, vigilante
in a pink cape
- Ah!
- righting graffiti wrongs.
Keeping an eye our for a 'V'
signal in the sky from town hall.
Yeah, exactly. Captain V strikes again!
Yeah.
I think my mum would have liked that.
Their love was forbidden in time ♪
Sacred, infernal ♪
Her name was Angela ♪
And his name was Turtle ♪
Please get whatever
identity crisis this is
under control and let the rest of us
have some peace and quiet.
- Sorry, Ol.
- Sorry, Oly.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
Yeah!
Doesn't like folk music, huh?
Oh!
Remember this one?
Is that
You remember it.
Ready?
I don't wanna be so sanctimonious ♪
I don't wanna be
such a negative prick ♪
But I'm the one who's helping
you through your divorce ♪
- Carol ♪
- Carol ♪
Do you think our kids would
have appreciated us more
if they knew we could
have been a family band?
- I think Bowie
- Bowie probably would.
Yeah, Bowie probably would.
- Oh!
- Oh, is that
Turtle has responded
well to the treatment so far.
And we can pick him up in the morning.
Yes!
- Oh!
- Here's to Turtle.
To Turtle!
- Oh, that's so good.
- Mmm!
Start again.
And I don't think
Trevor is good for you ♪
I don't wanna be your
fuckin' Christmas ham! ♪
I'm the one who's been helping
you through your divorce ♪
Carol! ♪
How can you not be totally
pissed off about this?
They're out there pretending
to be good Samaritans
when when when they've
just spent thousands of dollars
on a bird that isn't even ours!
Would you have let the thing die?
Yes, I would have let it die.
We have a baby.
And a $581 parking ticket.
Oh, my God.
Oly! That's $600! No!
Guess what we're having for dinner.
Empanadas?
No empanadas, no, we
don't have any of those.
Petrol?
Abuelo!
Oi! Oi!
This is Dad. Ready?
"Arggh! Arggh!"
"Mummy, Mummy, Mummy!"
Ah, Santi!
Hi. Hola, Ita.
- Hi, Abuelo. Hi, Ita.
- Ooh!
- Hola!
- Hi!
Are you guys hungry? We have empanadas.
Or empanadas.
Or empanadas.
We're good, thank you. Thank you, Rosa.
Hey, boys.
Come and help us build a cubby house.
- Hi, Seb.
- Ooh.
What's been happening, man?
- What are you guys doing?
- Nothing much.
- Cubby house.
- Building a cubby house.
Here in Marrickville, we have
a great one-bedroom apartment
for first-home buyers.
Great entry-level property.
Family-friendly location.
No psychotic parents.
Well
Oh.
Maybe J will become a brain
surgeon and buy us a real house.
Well, we just gotta get J through uni
and then we can retire
once she's paid my parking fine.
- No pressure, J.
- Yeah, no pressure, J.