Five Bedrooms (2019) s02e08 Episode Script

Previously onFive Bedrooms
How are you feeling
about coming home?
I just want to be
around people who
don't look at me like I'm the
lady who just lost her baby.
I just don't want
to hurt you anymore.
Xavier dumped me.
Doesn't love me.
- Stuart.
- HARRY: Liz's ex-husband.
I was humiliated. I lost
my career because of you.
It's not about who did
what to whom in what order.
Are you seriously
seeing Stuart again?
Have you gone beyond
casual sex in the garage?
LIZ: I know you think that I'm
going backwards, but I'm not.
I poured years of love
into that man for a reason.
Uh, that's for
you. It's a start.
It's $65,000.
STUART: Liz, I can't
erase the last two years,
but at least now
you have options.
And, if I haven't
been clear enough,
one of those options
is absolutely me.
LIZ: I was always convinced one
of us would leave the house.
(BIRDSONG)
I was pretty sure it'd be
Harry, or maybe Ainsley.
I never for a moment
thought it'd be me.
STUART: Should I give
him a call, maybe,
after you've told him?
No. Why?
Because he's gonna think
that I'm behind all of this.
Yeah, but you're not.
Yes, but I am part of
the equation, though.
- Barely.
- (LAUGHS)
No, I'm just I'm
gonna go with the truth.
It's 70% Cambridge,
20% because I love the UK summer
10% you.
Wow! 10%? That much?
Actually, no. It's
6% Camden Markets.
(ZIPS UP BOOT) 4% you.
You nervous?
No.
I was nervous.
Not about my decision, but
telling a heartbroken Harry?
That was a different matter.
Why are you wearing
the Chanel Grand?
'Cause I have news.
I have been accepted to
do my master's of law.
At Cambridge.
- What?! At Cambridge?
- (GIGGLES)
What? You didn't even
tell me you applied, Liz!
I didn't expect to get in.
I thought I had zero chance.
I still think it's
a clerical error.
I think someone's obviously
dropped out at the last minute.
- I think I've done a Steven Bradbury.
- Oh, my God!
I mean, I haven't accepted yet.
Well, you're absolutely
going to, right?
- Yep. I mean, it's expensive.
- How expensive?
Well, I I think I
I can cover the fees,
but I'm gonna need to rent
out my room for the year.
- Yeah.
- So I was thinking maybe Simmo.
Oh, yeah. Well, he basically
lives here anyways.
- Yep. (LAUGHS)
- (LAUGHS)
God, for a second, I thought
you were gonna tell me
you were running away with
Stuart or something. (LAUGHS)
SIMMO: Sounds awesome!
LIZ: After Harry, I
needed to tell someone
I was certain would see
it as a winning situation.
And there was one
obvious choice.
Is that the one all
the royals go to?
LIZ: No. No, not all of them.
Well, a lot of them. Yeah.
- Will I have to call you Doctor?
- No.
Well, I'd be happy to.
I-I won't be a doctor, Simmo.
Oh. It's a gutsy move.
I get a bit nervy flying solo.
Yeah, even driving
long distances.
I won't head to
Echuca on my own.
Oh, well, uh, I
won't be on my own.
I'll I'll be with Stuart.
Ah! That's even better.
Oh, yeah. He's a lovely fella.
He he's a listener
Oi! ..And a giver.
- Oh, I'm stoked for ya.
- Oh, thanks, Simmo.
Well, I'm actually hoping
that it'll work out well
for everyone, including you.
Right.
Obviously, I need someone
to take my room for
the academic year,
but that person
needs to be someone
that the entire
house approves of,
and there's really
only one person
who fits that particular bill.
It's you, Simmo. (LAUGHS)
Whoa. That's
Well, first of all, thank you.
That's just what an honour.
But, um
yeah, that's that's not
a good idea, I'm afraid.
The the rent would
be extremely reasonable,
if that's your concern.
Nah, it's a bit more complicated
than that. It's, um
Uh, it's Benny.
Yeah, it's just not a good idea
for the two of us
to live together.
Since when?
Since the 2012 grand final.
Look, when Benny and I spend
too much time together,
we can rub off on each other
in some pretty funky ways.
Best-case scenario, we end up
with a beautiful home-brew.
Worst-case, one of us
ends up in jail. Yeah.
I don't talk about it too much.
I don't want to put the
negative energy out there.
But, yeah, that's that's
the that's the scoop.
Um you haven't said
anything to him yet, have ya?
No. Um, the house doesn't
know yet. Only Harry.
But, um, I'm about
to tell the others.
Maybe, could I just
ask you not to mention
anything I just
said, to to Benny?
- He's pretty sensitive.
- Oh, no. No, of course.
Hope I haven't
upset the applecart.
No, no. I'm sure there's
gonna be someone else.
- Alright.
- Um, I should let you go
LIZ: There wouldn't be.
And now my nerves
about telling the house
had turned into pure terror.
- BEN: They're out of parmas.
- HEATHER: What?!
BEN: Yeah, I got you
the steak and chips.
Can I at least see the menu?
You'll want the steak and chips.
Give me two seconds, I'll
tell you what I want.
- AINSLEY: Look at you out of the house.
- I want steak and chips.
Those bags under your eyes
are settling down a
bit now, aren't they?
You starting to
feel a bit better?
No. I'm just here because
Liz has something to say.
Oh, thanks for that, Harry.
Um, have we all ordered yet?
- What is it?
- BEN: Yep.
I have a bit of news. Um
My circumstances have
changed unexpectedly.
- Dramatically
- Liz is leaving us.
On-only for a year. Maybe two.
Um, I've been accepted to
do my master's at Cambridge.
- Oh, my God!
- Oh, wow! In London?
- In Cambridge.
- Yeah, in Cambridge. Yeah.
- It's in the UK.
- LIZ: It is.
And and it's also been
my professional dream
since I finished law school.
Um, it's the golden ticket I
honestly never thought I'd get.
Stuart's going with her.
Yes, he is.
Um, I've decided to test
my relationship with Stuart
beyond the confines
of the garage.
BEN: He never said a word.
Yeah, no, we had a bit of a
back-and-forth on the emails.
Couple of memes.
Well, I I wanted to
be the one to tell you.
Um, it it feels sudden.
Well, it issudden. Um
The first semester
starts next week.
Are you shitting me?
And I'm very mindful of the fact
that this impacts all of you,
particularly as I'll
need to find somebody
to rent out my room.
- What?!
- I'll have tuition fees.
And, obviously, I'm
still paying Harry back.
Oh, I Simmo!
Get ask him. He'd be stoked.
He's desperate to move in.
- AINSLEY: Yeah, of course.
- Hadn't noticed he was gone.
Unfortunately, I tested
out the waters with Simmo,
and he has other housing
arrangements in place
during that time period.
Yeah, with his mum.
Yeah.
Righto. Lizzie, if you're,
um, worried about the
hygienic integrity of your
room moving forward
No, it's it's not that.
What is it, then?
Oh, um, I just think
that Simmo feels that
you already spend so
much time together
- What?
- Time that he he cherishes.
Well, you mean he he doesn't
want to move in 'cause of me?
He didn't say that.
- What did he say exactly?
- I don't remember.
(LAUGHS) Wait. Hang on. Lizzie.
It feels like four decades of
my life are in question here.
You're in your mid-30s, Ben.
Our mums were mates too.
We basically met in utero.
As delightful as it would have
been to have Simmo move in,
we will find someone
else, probably,
if we're patient and persistent.
Ains, I know this is sudden
and this probably couldn't have
come at a worse time for you.
No, that's not true. The timing
could have been much worse.
I'm probably ready for
a project now anyway.
I don't want a random moving in.
Well, we will put the call
out on our social media,
make it friends only and
find someone we know.
I don't want to live
with anyone I know.
Yeah, what if we found
someone who could really cook?
No j
Obviously, we're never
gonna find anyone
to replace ya, Lizzie.
Sorry, it's just
This is not the
end of our story.
BEN: Of course it's not.
- It's just 12 months.
- Or two years.
HEATHER: If you start
putting on a British accent,
I'm gonna run you
down in Ben's ute.
Well, I think they
took that pretty well.
Heather threatened
to run you over.
In a good way.
You pitched her a fantasy.
You pretended it was
all about Cambridge.
I wasn't pretending.
It's not about Cambridge
and you know it.
It is a
complicated
soup of
emotions and
possibilities, and
God, it's about me and my life.
And if I don't try this now,
am I ever gonna have a
chance like this again?
Are you talking about
your master's or Stuart?
Harry.
I have loved him,
for 13 years.
All that love
it doesn't go away.
Maybe it should.
But it's still there.
When I look at him
it's all still there.
Well, maybe when
you've been in a relationship a
bit longer, you'll understand.
What's that supposed to mean?
You've been in love for
about five minutes, Harry.
It's not the same.
(DOOR SLAMS)
Heather, just loosen
up your jaw a little.
Harry, your brow's just looking
a little sunken. If you can
Ideally, we want
the housemates
I'm just gonna say it. Why
can't she leave the room empty?
I mean, didn't she just
get a huge cash windfall?
Yeah, but it'll all
go on tuition fees.
How much are her tuition fees?
- That's not important now.
- 30,000. Pounds.
OK, you know what?
Like, just, um
get up and just
shake it out for me.
- Just shake it out.
- You know, that'd be right.
I can't afford a
bargain master's
at the University of Who Cares,
but Liz, ooh, she can splash
out £30,000 to go to Cambridge.
- Enough shaking
- She's running back to Stuart.
- She basically admitted it.
- AINSLEY: OK
This is what he does.
He plants these grandiose
ideas in her head
and makes her
believe they're hers
and she starts
drinking the Kool-Aid!
Do you know what?
Liz has made an informed
decision about her own life
and she deserves our support.
So can you just try for a smile?
I might as well just take
a picture of an empty room!
PAT: What are the odds
of Heather joining us?
LIZ: Oh, it's roughly zero.
Um, we're on the hunt
for a new housemate.
She's very involved
in the process.
Thanks, everyone,
for being here.
If I could have your
ears for just a moment
as we bid farewell to Liz.
Oh!
I'd like to take
this opportunity
to thank you for being
a part of our community.
You've transferred
calls very efficiently
and you've made that jacket look
better than it has any right to.
We've all put in for a $20
gift card from JB Hi-Fi.
Oh. Oh, thank you.
So thoughtful. Thank you,
Pat. Thank you, everyone.
Um
Uh, I've I've also
prepared a a few words.
Uh, in my former life,
reception desks were
something I just passed by,
occasionally requesting taxis.
Uh, I never imagined
that I would find myself
sitting behind one.
And I never imagined
the experience would be
such a profound
and personal gift.
PAT: Nance? Nancy?
- LIZ: To sit in one place
- Nance. It's me, Pat.
- NANCY: Where are we going?
- Just heading back inside.
Um, to sit in one place
PAT: Let's get her inside,
please. We're fine. As you were.
Quinn, could you stay
with Mr Barrett, please?
And and watch
the the world go by
families and friends,
the ebb and flow of life.
Stanley, can you make sure that
Mr Samson doesn't get any cake?
And comings and goings
Just thank you all.
This has been an honour
and an absolute privilege.
Lovely, Laura.
- Benny!
- Mate.
- What's going on?
- What's going on, mate?
Is it something I said? Or did?
'Cause if you've been
sitting on something
I'm not sitting on anything.
If it's about the
bloody grand final,
I don't know how many times
that I can apologise, mate.
- I didn't see ya.
- It's not about you.
I was panicked and
I was spinning shit
and I couldn't think of
anything else to say.
Oi, Joe. That goes around here.
- You gotta let me in, mate.
- I can't.
You have to help me understand.
It's Ains, mate.
Yeah, I thought my feelings
would die down, but
I made it to the
end of the reno,
but I nearly came a
cropper a few times.
I just I couldn't handle
being around her 24/7.
- Why didn't you say something?
- Well, there's no point.
You thought about telling her?
Mate, she's gonna be healing
for a long, long time.
Last thing she needs is
someone else to worry about.
Yeah, she doesn't need that.
Oi, do us a favour.
Just for now, can can we just
pretend it's about you and me?
Just till you get a new
housemate or whatever?
- That's not square.
- You're shitting me.
I'm gonna say this
one more time.
This really is not necessary.
I cannot leave the country
without at least saying goodbye.
Just send her a postcard with
the Queen on it or something.
I'm happy to go in alone.
We both know that'd
be even weirder.
Is he having financial
problems again?
N-n no. Actually,
quite the opposite.
Stuart is pursuing a number of
opportunities himself in the UK.
Usually after a divorce,
the man moves on to a
younger lady to have babies.
Oh, well, that that's
that's not on the cards for us.
But to move back to his old,
broke wife makes no sense.
Uh, I think, um, that he
missed my company.
Then he must be a very
unique and beautiful soul
not to judge a
book by its cover.
OK. That's enough. Should we
Thank thank you.
Um, I I just
Manju, I I couldn't
I couldn't leave without
thanking you for
all of your support
over the years.
You know, your your meals and
your hospitality.
You're most welcome, Elizabeth.
- I'm sad to see you go.
- Oh.
After all, you
were my favourite.
What?
Seriously? What
what about Ainsley?
Lovely, but you're
much more sensible.
What about Heather?
So many opinions.
Ben?
I don't understand
a word he says.
See? This is why I don't
like to show affection.
It's about a 3-minute walk from
campus. It's small, but look.
See, there's this really
sweet little courtyard.
- Sweet!
- Yeah.
STUART: I was in charge
of selecting the flat,
and I have been known to be
wrong in the past, but
- More than once.
- Ha.
Well, I think I'm on
a winner this time.
Well, I have an
early start, so
Uh, look, just before
you all go, um.
I just wanted to say, um
I haven't known you
all for too long
well, most of you anyway,
but I know how much
you all mean to Liz.
So, please note that it
is a two-bedroom flat
and you're all welcome to stay,
if you decide to pop on over.
- Aww!
- Best not all at once, though.
(OTHERS LAUGH)
But we'd love to have you,
all of you, all of you,
because well
you're family.
- That's beautiful, Stuart.
- Yeah. Cheers, mate.
And, Liz?
I just wanted to say to you that
thank you for
letting me back into your life.
I love you.
I always will.
HEATHER: Oh, no. What?
No No, it's a phone.
It's a it's a phone!
(LAUGHS) It's just a pho
It's a phone with a UK SIM card
and a and a new number,
which I've had, um, printed
on a card for everyone.
It's set up on a plan
where there's free calls
from the UK to Oz any time.
So, um, you know, feel free.
I thought it might just,
um help you all.
(SIGHS) stay in
contact. (LAUGHS)
That's so thoughtful.
So, do we all get a
phone, do we, or?
No, Liz gets the phone.
We get her phone number.
What a lovely handset.
Thanks, mate. Cheers.
Harry. Got a sec?
Look. I get it.
You don't trust me.
I respect that. I do.
But Liz is my wife,
and I love her,
and I'm never gonna
hurt her again.
She could really use
your support right now.
Well, she's always
had my support.
I'm not sure she's
really feeling it.
Thanks for that, Stuart. Any
other pearls of wisdom for me?
No.
Don't you look lovely?
- AINSLEY: Please don't.
- Copy that.
Well, there were a few energies,
but optimism was
definitely one of them.
You're not wearing that?
- I think you'll find I am.
- Get changed.
I'm not the one
auditioning here.
Heather, we're all
auditioning, OK?
This process will be a
lot easier for everyone
if we all just put
our best foot forward.
Doesn't it make more sense
to show the poor bastard
who he or she is actually
gonna be living with?
Absolutely not. Get changed.
AINSLEY: OK, so we have
four candidates coming through,
all drawn from our
own social networks.
I would like to flag from
the outset that some of them
might not immediately, uh,
draw a positive response,
but I felt really strongly that
we owed them all a hearing.
Who are we talking?
Hmm. Well, first
up, we have Marty.
Well, Ains, he just
broke up with my mother!
What was I supposed
to say to him?
"Sorry you're so heartbroken,
"but no-one wants
to live with you"?
- Yes.
- OK.
Then we have Ben's
mate Rowan Mullins.
Fridgey! Didn't even
know he was on Facebook.
Then we have, uh, Liz's
former colleague Edwina Crowe.
She is fastidiously clean.
OK. And finally, an associate
of Heather's, Ray Maplethorpe.
- Who?
- Ray Maplethorpe.
Never heard of him.
Well, he's definitely
your contact, Heather.
He's friends with
you on Facebook
and he's the first like on
almost all of your posts.
- Did he work at Dawes Court?
- One of Timmy's mates, is he?
I've been through his profile.
He's a prime candidate.
"A leisure industry provider,"
"loves travel, fun times
and cryptic crosswords."
- I do not know this man.
- Well, he's coming.
I just want to thank you all.
I realise this is very sudden,
and I really, erm,
appreciate you all doing this
and and considering
these options.
(DOOR SLAMS)
MARTY: People come in
and out of your life.
But only once in a quarter of a
century do you find your people.
I haven't felt this kind of
kinship since the mid '70s.
Marty, you do realise my mother
is here every second day?
And given the fact
that the two of you
aren't seeing each
other anymore,
you don't think that
might be a bit awkward?
I would absolutely respect
the boundaries there.
More than happy to evacuate the
premises prior to her arrival.
She generally shows
up with no notice.
I'm a lot quicker than I look.
Can I just confirm
this isn't an attempt to
rekindle things with her?
Do you think a a strategy
like that might be effective?
Now, one observation
that I've observed,
the only, uh, fly in the
ointment, so to speak,
has been that you've all
had a little bit of trouble
keeping your pants on.
With each other.
Just with Liz and Benny, and.
Ains and Ben, and then Heather.
That's not gonna be
a problem with me.
I do have a little
bit of a weakness
for a well-dressed lady
on the wrong side of 40,
but you're gonna be on the
other side of the world,
so no problems there.
Heather, you are a very
attractive older lady.
But you terrify me.
And you're spoken for.
And, Ains
you remind me of
my prep teacher.
And I couldn't do that to Simmo.
Uh Simmo? No, no,
no. We thought of Simmo.
And he would have moved in too.
He's just sick of
the sight of me.
Nah, mate, it's all about Ains.
It's an absolute tragedy.
But, Ains, good news - I'm
not attracted to you at all.
- Thank you, Fridge.
- More than welcome.
Is that really why Simmo
didn't want to move in?
Hey? Oh, bloody Fridgey?
(LAUGHS) He gets confused.
You know, he means well, but
no, it's it's about me, Ains.
He's just worried
about overexposure.
Really?
I had no idea I was
causing him pain.
Oh, he likes a bit of pain.
Not not in a weirdo way.
He just he he
feels things very deeply.
But he's also got
a shithouse memory.
So, normally, one thing
sorts out the other.
He did not draw breath
for 15 solid minutes.
He did not shut his face once.
He'd just put a lot of thought
into what he wanted to say.
HEATHER: We didn't even
ask him a question!
OK. Um, uh, there'll
just be one more.
'Cause Edwina has texted
and she's pulled out.
- What?
- Oh, of course she did.
Yeah, she's changed her mind.
I mean, in hindsight, I think
she was probably medicated
when she expressed her interest.
(CAR DOOR CLOSES)
OK, well, lucky last. Heather's
friend Ray Maplethorpe.
HEATHER: I told you, I've
never heard of this person.
Fuck's sake.
Apologies for the deception.
I used my nom de plume,
uh, for obvious reasons.
Uh, I've had one for a while,
mainly just to kick off
comments on my Airbnb listings.
I'm not even
That's it. Show's over, folks.
Hey, let's just Hold your
bloody horses, Heath. I'm
I'm not here to stick up
my hand to to live here.
I'm here with a proposal for
the entire house, not just you.
As you may know, I've become
quite the Airbnb entrepreneur.
Got the granny flat turning
over 500 bucks a week.
And I think, if you're
open to the idea
of renting out your
self-contained space out there,
you could make upwards of $750.
That area's spoken for.
Well, I've taken the liberty
of drawing up a business plan.
Huh?
So, I'd like to extend an
invitation to the house
to operate under the
Colin Doyle family of abodes.
I will, uh, require
a small commission,
but I think you'll find
I'm very reasonable.
- This is an interesting idea.
- COLIN: Yes, it is.
Is it? Just force me into
business with my ex-husband?
I'm not forcing
anyone to do anything.
COLIN: Yeah, just
think about it, Heath.
You want to go to uni,
you've got to cover fees.
I think it makes a lot of sense.
As I said, that room
belongs to Ainsley,
and I don't want a a constant
stream of total losers
They won't be losers. Some
will be interstate travellers.
HEATHER: I don't want a
stream of anybody or anything
in our home on a weekly,
if not daily, basis!
Sorry, Liz.
I'll just leave these here.
Sometimes she softens overnight.
The night I proposed,
there were six hours of
yelling and slamming doors.
3am in the morning,
a simple "Yes."
Why am I the only
arsehole saying it?
We're all thinking it.
The way you're leaving
feels abrupt and unfair.
BEN: I'm not thinking that.
You give us four and a
half minutes' notice.
It's been longer
than that, Heath.
I know that the the time
line is ridiculously tight,
but but the academic
year is just about to start.
Oh, for fuck's sake! It's
not about the bloody course.
- What?
- I thought it was.
You admitted it to Harry.
It's it's all Stuart.
He puts these
ideas in your head.
Look, I get it.
He's a sexy unit.
I made this decision
on my own terms.
- Did you?
- Yes.
And I came to you
for understanding
Well, I don't understand it.
And I have had
nothing but judgement.
Well, how do you
expect me to feel?
I was there the last time
he up-ended your life.
- (PHONE CHIMES)
- ..and broke your heart.
Harry, you have your whole
romantic life ahead of you.
You have no absolutely no
idea where I am right now.
HARRY: If you go back to him,
if you choose him again, I
- LIZ: What?
- Well, I've cleaned you up off the floor once.
- I'm not gonna do it again.
- What is it?
I'm sorry, Liz,
but I'm just not!
Ains.
Mel had the baby.
(PUTS PHONE DOWN)
Sorry.
(DOOR OPENS)
- BEN: "Ains"
- (DOOR BANGS)
"Sorry to do this in a text.
"Just thought you'd want
to know, Mel had the baby.
"Her name is Starlette
Belle. She's 3.7 kegs."
"Sorry if this wasn't
the right thing to do."
"Hope you're OK. Lachlan."
HARRY: Charlotte Belle?
BEN: Starlette. Starlette Belle.
(DOOR OPENS)
HARRY: Are you OK?
I'm going to give all
of Evie's stuff to Mel.
HEATHER: What's this?
I'm going to Lachlan's
in the morning.
Gonna drop all this off.
- Oh (SIGHS)
- I know what you're gonna say.
Maybe not tomorrow, Ains.
Definitely tomorrow.
I want to do it before
she's home from hospital,
so it has to be first thing.
HARRY: It's it's a
lovely thought, Ains.
HEATHER: You don't
have to rush into this.
It's what I want.
So, if you want to help
me, you can help me pack.
(KNOCK AT DOOR, DOOR OPENS)
Hey.
Thought you were spending your
last night with your housemates.
You've packed?
Yes. Generally what you do when
you're about to move overseas.
Are you right?
I can't fly out tomorrow.
I'm so sorry.
Why, because you'cause
you can't find a housemate?
Oh, no.
I mean, that was.
(LAUGHS) disastrous.
But it it's so
much more than that.
Is it Harry?
It's everything.
I mean, yes, Harry and
I are completely at sea.
Ainsley's, um
she's living in a
in a waking nightmare,
and I I can't I can't
leave them in this much pain.
OK. OK.
Well, um how much
time do you need?
I don't know.
What?
What about Cambridge?
I'll defer.
Liz, I know he's
your best friend,
but if he loved you, he
would want you to go.
I know.
Do you know, when.
I was
penniless
and alone
he kept me alive.
They they all did. And most
of them didn't even know me.
So, for me to walk
out like this
Is it too late to to get
- No, don't
- ..flight credits?
Don't worry about all that.
Is this really about
your housemates?
Or is this just about us?
So, everything in the
boot is for the nursery,
and then everything in the back
is just miscellaneous
clothes and toys.
HEATHER: Gotcha. No worries.
(DOOR CLOSES)
I thought you'd still
be at the hospital.
I was supposed to be, but I
Is Mel OK?
Yeah, Mel's fine.
She's already home.
I was gonna call,
but I didn't think you'd
be around this early.
Her mum was driving her insane,
so she basically discharged
herself and Starlette at 3am.
Ains? Why don't you
wait in the car?
- Is she awake?
- Yeah, she is.
Well, she was when
I came outside,
but it changes pretty quickly.
You can come in if you want to.
- Ains
- HARRY: Heather, just
HEATHER: She's not
ready for this.
Here.
How was her labour?
Um, it was, uh, good in
the end. It was fast.
I can't stop
thinking about Evie.
Me too.
(DOOR CLOSES)
Hi, Mel.
(SOBS) I'm sorry.
It's OK.
LACHLAN: It's probably
not about you, Ains.
It isabout her.
- Partially about her.
- (STARLETTE FUSSES)
Oh, she's so beautiful.
She's so beautiful.
Hello, Starlette.
MELANIE: Well, she looks
like Lachlan right now.
Apparently they all look
like their dads at first,
so they don't eat them
in the wild, but (SNIFFS)
It'll change.
She'll start looking more like
me later on, so (SNIFFS)
I've brought some baby stuff.
It's OK if you don't need it.
I'll just come and pick it up.
But it's there if you want.
They're happy tears.
Don't speak for me, Lachlan!
I'm overwhelmed.
I'm exhausted. I can't
wipe my bum properly.
My nipples are killing me.
(STARLETTE GRUNTS)
Did you want a hold?
I'm OK.
(DOOR OPENS)
- HARRY: Liz?
- Out here.
- She's on the beers.
- What?
I offered her a G&T,
but she wanted beer.
AINSLEY: Isn't she supposed
to be leaving about now?
She said she's not
going anywhere.
- Why?
- (CHUCKLES)
- What's happening here?
- Beer is happening.
- Uh, what time's your flight?
- Doesn't matter.
What do you mean?
I'm not going.
What's happened?
I understand this
may be confusing,
but I just I don't
want to talk about it.
HEATHER: Are you
fucking kidding me?
Look, I I appreciate
your interest
Look, if this is about all
the shit I said, I'm sorry.
I lived hand to
mouth all my life
and worrying about
money is just what I do.
The thing is, and and I take
no pleasure in saying this,
it turns out that
with you pissing off,
I could actually be better off.
She re-read Col's idea at
3am. Turns out it's genius.
I I did not say genius.
I said that if we did
put the room on Airbnb
and if you guys are happy
for me to handle it,
then maybe
you'd get your rent
and I'd clear enough
cash to go back to uni too.
It's genius.
So if that's why you've changed
your mind, go get your bags.
LIZ: It's not just that.
It's
It was all happening
way too fast.
And the timing just
felt just felt
wrong, on so many levels.
And the bottom
line is it's done.
I've told Stuart to cancel.
What are you doing?
- Harry, what are you doing?
- (RINGING TONE)
- STUART: Liz?
- Harry.
- Stuart. It's Harry.
- Oh, my God!
Have you actually
cancelled Liz's ticket?
Mate, she doesn't want to go.
But have you
cancelled the flight?
- Honestly, Harry
- Well, there's no point.
I couldn't cancel at
such late notice anyway.
- What time is the flight?
- (SIGHS)
It's at 2pm.
- 2pm.
- 2pm. We can do it.
- No, we can't!
- Grab your bags, get an Uber.
- I didn't finish packing.
- She'll meet you at check-in.
AINSLEY: I'm on it!
Hang on. Is is Liz there?
She's packing. I'll
text updates. Go.
Harry. It's OK.
No, Liz, it isn't. I
I've been an arsehole.
I'm heartbroken and
I'm a little jealous,
and I was dragging
you down with me,
but you are getting
on that flight.
- HEATHER: Yep, that goes.
- BEN: Look out. Whoa, whoa.
LIZ: No, Ben, those are
Heather's toiletries.
HEATHER: Yeah, just keep
the Olay. It's half empty.
- Taken out the big boofy coat.
- You're gonna have to wear it.
We're not gonna get to the
airport in time anyway.
Absolutely we will.
Um, I've got the cashmere
and the Chanel in here.
- Which one?
- Uh, the fur collar. Come on.
SONG: Life is hard
And so am I ♪
If Heather's driving, I
will not get in the car.
Oh, just relax!
I think Ben's got the keys!
Novocaine for the soul
Before I sputter out ♪
HARRY: This is
Where arewe, Heather?
HEATHER: It's the best
car park. Trust me.
AINSLEY: Shouldn't we
be at Departure Drive?
- Yeah, it's two minutes away!
- I can't even see Departures.
HARRY: We're here.
Two minutes away.
Righto. Looks like it's gonna
be a bit of a dump-and-run.
We'll have to say our goodbyes
on the move. Who's first?
- Where's the other suitcase?
- BEN: Huh?
- There were three suitcases.
- HEATHER: This way!
Alright. I'll go.
Uh, Lizzie, I've never
had more genuine love
for a lady I let
down in the sack.
- Oh, God.
- No, no.
I thought I'd put you
off for a while there
when you had your dry spell.
Good to see you
back in the saddle.
Oh, Jesus Christ!
Well, I guess the main
thing I want to say is,
you kept me out of jail, you
really classed the place up.
- I love ya.
- Are you sure this is the way?
- Thank you, Ben.
- That's alright.
Through these doors,
up the stairs,
and then you're
basically at check-in!
- LIZ: Platinum check-in?
- What?
Stuart's platinum. He booked us
platinum. We need that check-in.
- What the hell is that?
- I've got it. Just follow me.
- Should we drive?
- No, no, let's just walk.
It'll be faster. Come on.
HEATHER: What the
hell is platinum?
It's the, um, special entrance
with the little palm
trees and the red carpet.
- You would have seen it.
- How?! I don't fly.
How would I know anything about
a little fuckin' red carpet?
Righto, Heath, you're up. Go.
Uh look, I'm, um
Oh, I'm shit at goodbyes
and I'm out of breath.
I just want to say, look, I'm
sorry for being a nightmare
since you said you were going.
You know it's just
'cause I'm gonna miss ya.
Really?
I was starting to
see the two of us
as a menopausal version
of Thelma & Louise.
- I'm I'm just not menopausal.
- Oh, yeah.
- Just It's not important.
- Don't slow down. Come on.
- BEN: Ains, that's you.
- No, no, no.
I will call you at
the departure gate.
I just no, I want to say
don't feel bad about leaving,
because you were here.
You were here when it
mattered, and it helped.
Oh, God.
HARRY: Liz, seriously!
If you miss that
flight, it's on you.
- You sure it's the right way?
- HARRY: Yeah.
HEATHER: I'm I'm OK.
There. There. She's
here. She's here.
Oh, for fuck's sake.
You're overestimating
your importance, Liz.
We're all gonna be fine.
- Yeah, but am Igoing to be?
- AINSLEY: Yes.
Lizzie. You don't have to go.
HEATHER: Yes, she does.
AINSLEY: She wants to.
None of us really
want you to go.
You know, we're
supporting you, but
if you think we're pushing
ya, mate, just don't go.
(RINGING TONE)
(PHONE RINGS)
Oi. If it feels like we're
pushing ya, just don't go, mate.
It's alright.
What if you're right
about Stuart and I?
I was just being an arsehole.
But what if you're
an accurate arsehole?
Am am I walking away from
the best place I've ever been
into a guaranteed disaster?
Maybe.
But you've watched me
walk into total disasters
time and time again,
and on the other side
of of every failure,
you were there with
a 14-hour phone call.
If it wasn't for that,
I wouldn't be living the
incredible life I'm living.
OK.
- OK.
- HEATHER: Yes! And we're off!
- BEN: Alright, Lizzie.
- AINSLEY: Whoo-hoo-hoo!
Here she comes. Here she
comes. Great. She's coming.
- OK. Bags, bags, bags, bags.
- Um, they're carry-on.
- Carry-on. It's carry-on.
- HEATHER: Take these.
- Yep.
- OK. Got 'em?
STUART: Yep.
BEN: See ya.
- HEATHER: Oh, God.
- AINSLEY: No!
HEATHER: Come here.
Oh, my darling!
Take care of yourself,
yeah? Take care.
LIZ: I walked into
this arrangement
convinced it would
be a disaster.
And I walked out convinced
it was a one-in-a-billion
connection.
Pure kismet.
But it was neither
of those things.
SONG: Novocaine for the soul
You'd better give me something
To fill the hole ♪
LIZ: It was five people
Before I sputter out ♪
Walking together for a time
Before I sputter out ♪
Sometimes with
severe discomfort
Before I sputter out
Before I sputter out. ♪
But still walking
always walking
even when it's easier
to stand still.