Flatbush Misdemeanors (2021) s02e08 Episode Script

What the fuck are you doing here, man?
What happened to waiting outside?
My niece, goes to Delaney,
they can't even afford set
dressing for their school play.
We're gonna call the principal
and we're gonna get this done.
And thank you, Kevin.
Exceptional painting.
I can tell you for real like me.
I'm-a tell Junior that you
was looking out, all right?
Yo. She better not find out
about our business, either.
For NA, I have to take
a moral inventory of my life,
and just consider how, uh,
your resentments have,
like, affected others.
You didn't think it was
your place to tell me
about my own family?
Yo, you sound stupid, bro. Come here
Nah. You lost me.
Yo, bro, where you going?
There's something I got to tell you.
Drew, we got into a little
thing, like a back-and-forth.
Principal Douglass was
asking me who that was,
"Tell me or I'll fire you. Tell me."
So I told him. Douglass called the cops,
Drew got arrested.
Goddamn!
Don't you just feel so good right now?
Giving back to the community?
Yeah, aren't you just bursting
with pride right now,
representing these kids?
I'm not from here, bro. Fuck them kids.
Okay, R. Kelly.
Well, you know, I mean,
give me some credit.
That's not fair.
R. Kelly knew the kids.
Oh, shit, look at
your phone, they just announced
- the final assignment.
- Word, what is it?
I don't know, I can't scroll,
I got paint all over my fingers.
- Come on, bro.
- Yo, you better hope
it's not another community project.
- All right, shut the fuck up.
- Okay.
"Congratulations, blah, blah,
blah, blah, blah, blah,
blah, blah, blah, blah.
Blah, your final assignment
is open-ended.
Paint in whatever style you desire,
"or as some of you might say, 'Do you.'"
Ugh. "The only rule
is that the painting must be
an expression of self."
Damn, t-that means we can
paint whatever we want.
Yeah, finally.
Let's hurry up and get out this
poor-ass, weak-ass school.
These dumbass kids is making me itch.
I-I'm sorry.
You know you don't want to work here.
Are you tense? Anxious?
Always tired but can't fall asleep?
No matter who you are, you'll
feel better and live better
when you learn to relax.
Well, the bad news is,
I pulled a hamstring.
Good news is,
- I'm fucking again.
- Fucking bus.
I mean, I'm getting better with age.
I'm finding out shit
that I didn't even know
I was supposed to be looking for.
You know what I You know what I mean.
Are we supposed to update
people every time we fuck?
Oh, yeah, that's actually,
that's the next step.
- Oh, yeah? Mm-hmm.
- Yeah, yeah.
I wish that I could enjoy all this good,
but it's just an escape,
because my kid hates me.
She thinks I haven't changed,
just because
- I do the same things.
- Yep.
True. I'm going through it
with my niece.
- She's always
- Who are you?
Oh, my name's Drew, and, um,
yeah, like I was saying,
uh, my niece cut me off, too.
The shit I'm into is starting
to hurt her for real.
Shit, I didn't even think
I'd be doing it this long.
Thought it was the answer
to all my problems.
But then you get used to it and then
it turns into something else.
I remember, Eddie said
something in his last share
- It's Franklin.
- Gesundheit. Eddie said,
"You might be strong enough
to handle the pain,
don't mean you deserve it."
I felt that, but the thing is,
I don't know what I'd be doing
if I wasn't doing this.
At first, I didn't want
to be in this program.
Shit, I didn't even like
most of y'all. I still don't.
But I can relate
to what y'all go through.
This life's exhausting.
All the lies and pressure,
shit's fucking up
the relationship with my family, man.
Maybe I need to stop
doing what I'm doing
and what y'all say?
Surrender to a higher power?
I don't know.
Okay, works for me.
Come on, Zay, I know you in there.
The fuck? Oh, my God, Desmond,
I don't want to be bothered.
Go away!
Bro, I said I'm sorry, damn.
- What else you want? Damn.
- This fucking boy.
I swear to God.
Just because you apologize does not mean
I need to accept your apology.
I said I need space, so that is that.
Like, damn, nigga.
What the fuck?
Drew the one that told me
not to tell you
- about him and Junior.
- Mmm.
I-I just ain't never been in
this kind of situation before.
I-I really ain't know what to do.
Yo, you ain't telling me
nothing I don't know already.
Junior got picked up yesterday.
What?
Was Drew with him?
I don't know.
That's what I came over here
to talk to you about.
I just need somebody to talk to
about Junior, man.
He ain't never been to jail before.
Where they keeping him?
His mom said
they taking him to the island.
My head just fucked up.
Come here.
It might take a little while
for him to get out.
Wait. Was Amaya with him?
Oh, my God. Why she ain't text me?
I hope she's okay.
So, uh,
you gotta go to school, huh?
Yeah. What's up?
I was just seeing
if you wanted to do something.
No.
What do ya got today?
Um Oh, that auditor's coming
to watch me teach
and decide
if I can teach full-time again.
No way. You got
a big sex ed lesson planned?
Oh, yeah. Well, it's, uh,
it's Condom Week.
Oh, happy Condom Week to your family.
Happy Condom Week to you and yours, yes.
- Thank you very much.
- Um
Yeah, so I'll just
give the kids condoms,
and they'll probably make 'em
into balloon animals.
But that's, like,
a step towards using 'em.
- Oh, yeah. Sure.
- Um
Where do you want to eat?
I
I can't eat right now. I'm sorry.
- I'm-I'm swamped with work.
- Oh.
Did I do something?
- No.
- Just 'cause you-you've bailed
the last few times, and
I'll believe you if it's nothing,
but also, you can just tell me,
and I'll, like, back off a little bit.
I like hanging with you.
- I promise.
- Okay.
How's your back been
since you hurt it?
- Fine.
- Um
Are you lying?
What?
I mean, you said
I was like, "How's your back?"
And you were like, "Good."
Like, was that
- Was that a lie?
- Wh-What?
Just, you weren't looking at me
when you said that.
You're not looking at me right now.
Well, I'm here,
so I'm happy to help, also.
- Thank you, Dan.
- Um, I'm not qualified, but
No. N-Not even slightly.
- No.
- But if I had a condom question,
- you would be first one I call.
- I would First call.
Hey, Drew. You wanted to talk
to me about your case, yeah?
- Yeah.
- Cool. Okay. Yeah, he took me up
- on that offer.
- Sure.
- Legal aid stuff. Um
- Yeah.
Text me later, yeah?
- Yeah. You're good?
- Thank you, Dan.
Yes, good. Hey.
Okay, now you free to eat?
Um
- Yeah.
- Good. Great. Come on.
Let's go pick up some IHOP to go.
- Where do we take the IHOP?
- "Chipolte."
They got great benches there.
True relaxation comes from conquering
both nervous and physical tensions
by calming both mind and muscles.
Did you hear that, dear?
Uh, Ms. Owens, do you need
a water or a chair or something?
- I can
- Oh, no, no, no.
Remember, Mr. Joseph, I'm not here.
Okay. Um, all right, kids. So,
Ms. Owens is gonna be observing
our class today,
so let's make this
the best sex ed class we've ever had
tied with all the rest.
Okay. STI prevention.
Now, we discussed external condoms,
but what else is there?
And don't say abstinence.
Let's be realistic.
Pulling out.
Okay.
Yes, pulling out is a method,
but it doesn't prevent STIs.
Internal condoms.
Vaginal. Why do you think
I'm holding this vagina?
Now, female condoms
are slightly less effective
than male condoms.
- Okay?
- Mr. J, how's your pullout game?
Okay, listen,
you're gonna ask real questions
or go see Principal Douglass.
I'm not kidding.
All right. My bad. Damn.
- It's just a joke.
- Okay.
Quick demonstration.
Now, you're gonna want to check
the expiration date,
because these things expire like dairy.
Let's get this demonstration going.
So, there's two rings.
You're gonna want to pinch the
elastic ring.
Give it a little pinch.
- Now, the goal
- Girl,
- where the fuck have you been?
- is to cover that cervix.
I've been texting you all morning.
I'm sorry. The person
you were trying to reach
was a little busy 'cause of this.
What are you talking about?
Amaya, what the fuck?
Stick it in there.
And then Look at that.
And then you just kind of
like that and it gives this
What are you doing with all these drugs?
I was supposed to drop it for Junior,
but then he got arrested
before he could tell me where to,
and now I don't know what to do with it.
Wait, why would you even
bring them to school with you?
'Cause you know my mother
is Caribbean, bitch.
She'll kill me twice if she see
this shit in her house.
Girl, you cannot have these drugs here.
I'm-a get caught. Like, this what I get
for trying to be a bad bitch.
Amaya, stop crying. Just relax.
Who uses female condoms?
The best of the best.
Mary J., Meg Thee Stallion.
- Doja Cat.
- What about Desmond?
Girl, what about him?
You don't think
he'd be able to hold it down?
Hell no. That nigga
probably would get caught
with them. He wouldn't know what to do.
These niggas be useless, bro.
Zayna, Amaya, be quiet. All right?
And I know these things,
- female condoms
- What about Drew?
Girl, they have already arrested Junior.
They probably out there
looking for Drew, as well.
Especially since they
were working together.
Bro, these niggas be useless, son.
On God, I'm never dating
a drug dealer again, bro.
This tough boy shit
got me sweating and shit.
- My edges.
- Safe as can be.
And Oh!
You can insert a female condom
up to eight hours before sex,
so if you have a date at night,
you just toss it in there at lunch,
- and you go about your day.
- I'm sorry.
- He just said eight hours?
- That's nasty.
Looking good, feeling good.
Arsema, you did a great job
on the school project at Beauford.
The theater director just called,
- said that they loved it.
- Thank you.
- Yeah.
- Thank you.
- Hey. Hey, Nancy?
- Yeah.
Hey, I worked on that, too.
Did they say something about me?
- Nothing.
- Oh.
Fuck, bro, how could they not say
my name? Like, I was right there.
I told you.
You need to learn how to kiss some ass.
Yeah, but they still should've
said my name, bro. Like,
come on. Fuck.
I could lose 'cause of that. Like
Stop being so dramatic. It's fine.
You still have the final.
Kevin, they did say something about you.
- Oh, yeah?
- They said you left your wallet.
- Oh.
- They said
that there was a condom in there
that expired eight years ago
and a note from your mom
that said "keep trying."
- Do you need condoms?
- No.
'Cause I have
a full fresh batch in my drawer.
- I'm sure you do.
- Okay? Sizes, varieties.
- That's
- Everything you need.
- Ribbed.
- Okay.
- Okay?
- All right.
I gotcha.
Eight years. Damn.
Huh? Oh,
no, that's-that's not my wallet.
- Mm.
- I-I be I be fucking raw.
Right.
Yo, what's up
with the toilet paper?
Yo, my fault, bro.
I had Taco Bell earlier.
I gotta get the fuck up out of here.
I swear.
Tired of this shit.
Them lil' niggas Desmond and Junior
run they mouths too fucking much.
One of them tell Zayna
we was working together.
Next day, very next day,
Junior end up on the island.
- Junior got knocked?
- See?
Getting too old for this shit.
Gotta find a new hustle.
Yo, the metaverse.
The fuck is that?
Bro, that shit like Grand Theft Auto,
but with real money, man.
They call it digital real estate.
- What we gonna do with that?
- Start a trap house
in the metaverse.
Yo.
Or they got NFTs, bro.
You fuck with that.
That's, like, art shit.
Art shit take too long, man.
Need fast money.
Bro, cats is making, like, 300, 500k
off of pictures of apes, bro.
Art is lucrative, man.
You never listen to 4:44?
Shit, that is a lot of bread.
Yeah. Kev could help you
with this shit, too.
Yup, you right. This might be it.
- Mm-hmm.
- Bro, you need
to get on this Metaverse, though.
- Nah, I'm out.
- Ain't bullshittin'.
Hey, yo, Tiff, what's good?
We going to the park?
- Hey, Blue.
- What's going on?
- How you been?
- Can I touch 'em?
Squeeze it harder.
There. Do it again.
Is this okay?
- Yeah, I like that.
- You nasty.
And remember, female
condoms are not flammable.
All right?
Girl, this bell needs to hurry
up and fucking ring, B. Like
- Know what I'm saying?
- Female condoms
are one of the best things you can use
for safety, short of male condoms.
- Okay?
- My brother said the latex
in condoms make you start pissing rocks.
No. Latex does not make you
start pissing rocks.
Okay, look, I've read that
online, too; it's not true.
Do not trust your siblings about sex.
It's very important.
And remember
What's that?
Hold up.
Um, thank you, Zayna, for
reminding me and all of us
about lubricant.
Yep.
So, Zayna made this mix in science.
Great work again, Zayna.
So let's demonstrate.
You're gonna apply it like that.
And remember, it actually
lessens the risk
of the contraceptive breaking
while also protecting you more
from STIs.
- That's nasty.
- That's nasty.
Okay, um, all right, what do you say
we split up into groups of two
now for a project?
We never do projects.
That's what makes this so exciting.
"What the heck? A project?"
Okay, Zayna, Amaya,
you two seem like a great pair.
Everybody else, you know how pairs work.
Mr. Joseph, look.
Is that what I think it is?
- It's not ours.
- I don't care.
I'm not gonna get you in trouble,
- but it has to go, now.
- Yep.
You know people usually
wait until I'm done
before they try to steal my ideas.
You're not Barkley Hendricks.
If this shit ain't good,
I'm never gonna stop
talking shit about it.
Yeah, see, it's not even done
and you already got expectations for it.
- It's finna be iconic.
- Who are you right now?
Shit, I'm a god. That's what I am.
Okay, Kevin.
Nah, it's just I think
I got this place figured out.
They just want a version of
Blackness that they can sell, so
And this is a version of
Blackness that they can sell?
Yeah, it is.
Okay. You're an idiot.
All right, just let me finish,
you know, and then
I'll show you, all right?
What you about to paint?
Some Ethiopian shit.
- You're Ethiopian?
- Yes.
I literally talk about it
all the time. What?
I thought you was just light-skinned
with a big forehead.
Come on.
I thought you was, like, Eritrean.
I heard I don't know why
I heard Eritrea.
- Or Somalia.
- You know what?
One of them big forehead countries.
- You wrong for that.
- Barbados.
- You sound just like Nancy.
- One of them joints, you know.
There he is.
Oh, shit, what's up, bro? How are you?
I need to pick your brain for a minute.
- What about?
- What you know about NFTs?
I mean, they're kinda hot right now,
but that's not really what I do.
Nah, 'cause I heard you could
make guap doing this.
If you make one of them lil' monkeys,
we could sell that shit for 300K.
That's not how that work, bro.
- Then how it work, nigga?
- Yo.
Can you come back later
and talk about that?
Like, 'cause I'm-I'm working
on something else, man.
All right, that's cool.
Somebody in here know how
to do that shit.
Shit, I'll make the
motherfucking Donkey Kong
my damn self.
Oh, yeah, what's up, baby?
What you know about NFTs?
The "N," the "F," the "T."
Don't matter what you start with.
I don't even
know what to do with this shit.
Bro, I don't know.
You cannot have promethazine at school.
Okay? That's almost definitely a rule.
Okay, Nancy Reagan, want to
follow rules and shit, say no to drugs.
- Nancy Reagan?
- Well, can't we just
- leave it with you?
- No.
- No, no, no.
- Absolutely not.
No. Wait, why are you saying no?
- Because you do drugs.
- I don't drink lean.
Although I'm sure I'd like it
if I tried it, honestly. But no.
That's not an option.
Bro, it's either we leave it
with this crackhead,
or we give it to Drew.
I agree with Amaya. That man
handles lean better than any of us.
I told you before,
I do not want to do that.
Girl, we don't have any other choice.
Okay, look.
Zayna, I'm not telling you what to do
- You literally just did.
- No.
I'm just giving you my strong take
on what you should do.
Huge difference, okay?
But make the call
you want to make. All right?
Also, class is over,
so I'm gonna catch you up
on the female condom stuff
you missed tomorrow, all right?
A lot of fun facts.
Get rid of it. Get rid of it.
Let me know when you get rid of it.
Okay.
- Oh, my God, bro.
- Fuck!
So it don't gotta be an ape.
B-B-But what's the one that
Steph Curry bought?
He gon' want another one.
Nah, niggas love me in here. Ohdee.
Stuck inside a loop and
I'm tired with nowhere
Blue, let me hit you back real quick.
Yeah. Yo.
You made those?
Yep.
Can you make it where
the monkeys is wearing
Timbs and fitteds?
That's actually
Matter fact
I'm, yeah, I'm so sorry
about this nigga. I'm sorry.
Is he, like, an art dealer or something?
Nah, he used to be an artist, but, like,
I don't know where
this NFT shit's coming from.
All right, well, can you
tell him that no one here
is gonna make it for him?
Like, not today, at least.
He don't really understand
the word "no."
- What do you mean?
- What are you talking about?!
You said if I did something
off the list, I'd be good.
I been going to NA.
I'm not doing no community
service, bro. Fuck that!
I can't do this shit.
I'll finish later, I guess.
I already told you I can't work
for nobody, my nigga.
Yo, I'm about to start
my own company selling NFTs.
Facts. My man about to start
doing it for me right now.
Yeah, a'ight. Yeah, a'ight. Whatever.
Yo, Kev, I'm telling you, my nigga.
Don't catch a case.
Motherfuckers act like they own you.
Fuck outta here.
Hey, yo, Drew, bro, look
So I was thinking we could
call 'em DrewFTs. Hmm?
You make the monkeys,
and I use my skills to sell 'em.
What you think?
- Nigga, you gotta go.
- What you talking about?
Bro, I need to focus, man.
I gotta finish this project
in, like, 12 hours,
and you been in here
fucking my whole day up.
Like, come on, man.
This is all I have to myself, bro.
And I get that you need help
or whatever, but
Yo, tell me about all that shit later.
Something going on with Zayna.
I'm gonna get at you. Word.
I hate Black people.
Notice how wonderful
you're beginning to feel?
Like you are floating away into dreams.
Um
how much longer
do you think this will
Almost done, Mr. Joseph.
Okay.
Mr. Joseph, I need your full attention.
Sure, yeah, there's just
a lot going on today,
but nothing, uh, nothing bad.
Just various good things.
Zay, what's up?
I thought something happened to you.
I don't know if Junior
said anything, okay,
and I don't know if the cops
is looking for you.
Zay, what are you talking about?
- What's this?
- I had nothing to do with this.
And Amaya, she was just holding
it for Junior, that's it.
What the fuck?!
Why would she do that?
I know you're not judging.
Nah, I mean, she ain't heard from him?
- No.
- And Desmond?
He don't know nothing about this.
Anybody see you with this?
Mr. Joseph.
But he's the one that
told me to call you.
- He didn't tell nobody?
- No.
Fuck.
I was just trying to
stay away from this shit,
but this is crazy.
Yeah, right.
What you mean, "Yeah, right"? No funny.
I'm tired of running around
doing all this.
I don't know if Junior talking.
This dumbass white boy in there.
I can't keep this on me.
- Do whatever you gotta do, Drew.
- Zay.
What?!
I should have told you about
what I was doing with the kid.
I'm sorry.
You got every right to be mad at me,
but I'm deadass.
I'm done with this shit.
I gotta head to class.
Um thank you for coming.
I love you.
Shit.
Okay, after a careful assessment,
it is my recommendation that
Yes!
Oh, thank God.
I haven't told you my decision yet.
Oh, sorry, I was just,
I'm excited for the decision.
My recommendation that you be
fully reinstated next year.
Full salary restored.
- Congratulations.
- Wow.
Um, that's crazy.
Uh, thank you so much, Ms. Owens.
Um, uh, I'm sorry, I'm sorry
if I've been weird today,
I'm just, you know, I'm nervous.
You're not the weirdest,
but maybe don't do
that lube thing again.
Right. I was just giving it a whirl.
Hey, yo, Addis Ababa.
What's up, Google Earth?
Yo, what you think of this?
It's a'ight.
A'ight? Bro,
you know Nancy about to squirt
right on this dude's forehead.
Stop playing with me.
Thank you so much for that imagery.
I'm just saying, this shit nice.
Man, you still got a lot
more work to do.
Yeah, I know.
Yo, what-what happened to your friend?
Oh, I told that nigga, I said, "Nigga,
if you don't get the fuck up outta here,
I'll beat your ass.
You know how many push-ups
I did this morning?"
Word. I'm sure you did.
Nah, it's just,
you know, it's hard to paint
when people talking to me.
What you mean? You paint when I talk.
Yeah, 'cause I can't hear women.
Classic. Yeah.
Nah, you know,
it's-it's natural with you.
You know, like, I paint, you paint.
I'm not gonna lie,
I'm, like, happy I met you
'cause you're, like,
my only normal friend.
Like, Drew, I fuck with him,
but, bro, I need to not see
that nigga again for at least
- two to three
- Kev!
Let me holler at you for a minute.
Fuck, bro, this nigga Candyman, fam.
What the fuck?
Yo, did you shoot somebody else?
Nah, it ain't like that.
I need you to hold this for a minute.
Bro, what is that?
Fuck, man. Bro, why can't Blue hold it?
Son, I'm asking you.
I'm-a come back and get it.
I just need to make sure
nobody looking for it.
- No, Drew, it's not a good time.
- Yo, Kev.
Yo, I'm out the game
after this one, bro.
That's why I was asking you
about the NFT shit earlier.
I'm trying to do
something different, bro.
Zayna getting older.
She tired of this shit.
I'm tired of this shit.
My brother, man. Kev, come on.
Just need you to hold it till
I figure some shit out.
Please, bro.
Fuck, man.
All right, bro.
Yeah, that's what I'm talking about.
Oh, you gonna leave me hanging?
Yeah. Got you.