Gossip Girl (2021) s02e08 Episode Script

1
Rise and shine, followers.
They say the first 15 minutes
of the morning
can make or break any day.
I missed this view.
Believe me, it missed you too.
I can't believe how well I slept.
Not giving a shit about
Gossip Girl will do that, I guess.
Totally.
Now, if I could only find my underwear.
How'd they get over there?
You know, I missed this view.
What do you say we, uh
go to breakfast at Osprey,
for old times' sake?
You can get the ube mochi pancakes
and we could people-watch.
Zoya agreed to do a really
important post with me this morning.
Oh, is that code for,
"This is a one-week stand"?
Um, I hope not.
I really hope not too.
Well, see you back here
after school, then?
Okay.
I suppose that depends on if you got up
on the wrong side of the bed.
Or perhaps you're not getting out of bed
at all these days.
Up and at 'em, Mom.
Asparagus frittata and fresh OJ.
Your signature "breakfast of champions."
For your migraine.
Look, you cannot hide forever.
I'm not hiding. I'm cocooning.
Speaking of hiding, where might
you have documentation
of your dress designs?
I already have ammo
from your iCloud, but anything helps.
I've already told you this, Audrey.
There is no point, okay?
The damage has been done.
Damages, financial and emotional,
which we'll sue handsomely for,
once we can prove
that Jessica stole your designs.
Mom, she's having her own pop-up shop.
- God!
- You have to stop her.
I just wanna go to sleep, okay? Out!
And to the early birds who managed
to thrust themselves out into the world,
- I wonder
- Menzies!
what did you find?
Lim!
USC lets freshmen peace out for a week?
I've already shot three shorts
and Ryan Coogler guest-lectured
my symposium last week.
- And you still made it here.
- Are you kidding?
Four years strong, which means
I finally got bumped to VIP Events Crew.
I can go to any screenings,
including the premieres.
I'm a usher. I mean,
not quite as luxe, but
Usher's great
if you make the most of it.
That's how I met Chris Nolan
and got him to write my rec.
- Ingrid!
- Oh. Chloé Zhao's doing a Q&A.
The Events Crew is gonna crash.
Skip school and join?
Uh, I'll see what I can do.
Okay.
I figured, why go out
when my maid makes her own
tostadas, mantequilla y mermelada?
Well, I make her make it,
but you know what I mean.
It's excellent. And don't worry,
I also like to keep
my private life private.
Hmm.
Those are vintage.
They're from the '90s.
Always on the lookout
for trends that feel timeless.
Like how you styled Julien
for the Grammys last year?
You follow Julien?
I follow your work.
I told you I knew who you were.
My aunt is a partner at The Only Agency.
She's always asking me to keep
my eye out for new talent,
so I keep my eye out.
I'd be happy to introduce you.
And I'm usually so thorough
with my background checks.
My dating life isn't
the only thing I keep private.
Where were you last night?
Here.
Yeah, I would have heard you snoring.
You sure you wanna join?
After this goes out there,
she could come for us.
GG's been coming for us
since I got here.
And thanks to Monet,
she knows about the video.
Which Milo swears he wiped off
the face of the planet.
But if anybody can find it, it's her.
And I need to stop her before she does.
Hey, everyone.
I know a lot of you
saw this notification
and clicked hoping to catch
some insane thing I'm doing.
Sorry to disappoint, but this time
there's no drama, there's no lying,
and there's definitely no catfights.
Now,
am I saying these things didn't exist
before Gossip Girl? Of course not.
But while she claims
to only "report" on the drama,
in reality, she makes it.
Gossip Girl pitted me and my best friend
against each other
for her own entertainment.
And she did it
because I let her. We all have.
By giving her our li
our follows, our attention,
we give her power.
But that ends today.
Here's my call to action.
Stop following Gossip Girl.
Better yet, block the bitch.
Take your power back.
Make your own destiny.
Here, I'll go first.
I knew I wasn't the only one
ready to set myself free.
Uh, your "Queen's Speech" isn't
the reason they're cheering, babe.
Since the fashion fracas,
your numbers have skyrocketed.
You've been duetted, stitched,
memed, and regrammed so far and wide,
you made Kimmel, Colbert,
and John Oliver.
Andy Cohen even left word
for you and Audrey.
He wants to pitch you to Bravo.
Wow. What about us?
We fought too, in much prettier dresses.
Where are my memes?
Oh, they, uh, they exist.
You don't wanna see them though.
Trust me.
Okay. Well, now that you're so visible,
I'm back to being invisible,
and it's not fair.
- Who's invisible?
- There she is. Slut-shamer!
- Support women!
- Zoya is not a slut,
she's just a prude. That was the point.
Not their point, Mone.
- What you did
- What I did?
You were the one who sent in tips
on all your closest friends and family
like a modern-day Dan Frumpy
or whatever,
and I'm the one getting called out?
My live has over a million views
in under an hour.
How many followers
has GG lost since then?
Have you checked your comments section?
All anyone is talking about
is how to pre-order The Julien.
I know it wasn't your plan, okay,
but I'm getting calls
for brand deals, collabs.
This is your next big moment.
The only big moment
I want is reconciliation with
Hey, Audge, could we
That's to Gossip Girl, isn't it?
Whomst?
I got good news.
Better than me getting to spend
my favorite time of year
with my favorite people? Ushers get
comps and I scored two for you both.
Hmm.
So, I explained the situation
to my dad, who called Cyrus,
who drew up an injunction
to stop Jessica's pop-up
on the grounds that she stole
your mom's designs.
Just one teensy wrinkle.
We need Kiki's signature.
Or we tag in for her.
Look, my mom is one more mishap away
from another relapse. I can feel it.
Uh, don't we feel like
forgery's too far? Or
Shall we take a vote? All in favor?
Sorry, Ak. The ayes have it.
How's my girl doing?
Well, apart from half the school
asking me
to "drop the Zoya Lott cut,"
never better.
I never should've left you alone
with that creep.
Drew was all my mistake, not yours.
Still, I wanna make it up to you
with some capital-R revenging.
Hey, apparently student body's
way ahead of you.
I meant Gossip Girl.
You said you wanted uniforms.
The, uh, "traitors" section
is in historical non-fiction.
Do you really think that I would ever
intentionally wear Jessica's dress?
Then what was it? An optical illusion?
- Sorcery?
- Sabotage.
She saw your mom's emails
to the seamstress.
Even the detailed picture that she sent.
She was able to replicate what she saw.
And since you gave her
such a public platform,
I can't even leak those emails
without people saying
that it was her
that stole Jessica's designs.
I never meant to hurt you.
You're my best friend.
I was only trying
I made a mess.
Let me help try to fix it
somehow, please?
Do you promise to stay clear
of Jessica and my dad?
You know, people usually get arrested
for doing this outside playgrounds.
And here we get paid. Your point?
Seems like the embers are cooling.
How about I add some sparks?
And continue to lie like Georgina.
I thought you wanted to be a raptor
and crunch large bodies,
not skinny, bony ones.
I have to keep our readership up
while I prep and plan.
Having it both ways.
That always works out.
Obie, hi. There's a rep
planning a meet and greet
for applicants and their parents
at the Harvard Club this Friday.
If it's still your top choice,
I'm sure the head teacher
can reserve a spot.
Wow. Uh, did you Did you say parents?
Harvard's all about connections,
not just who you know,
but who you can introduce them to.
Right. Right.
If there's any way your mother can join,
it would help set you apart.
Yeah. Unfortunately,
she's in Munich right now, so
How about I give her a call?
Impress upon her
just how important this is?
That would be amazing.
- Okay.
- All right. Right on.
Thank you, Ms. Keller.
Oh, playing it both
on and off the field now?
And, no, I don't know where
that metaphor came from.
Can't drop the dirt Obie sent us
until Helena's in the States.
Now she has a reason to come.
Duvall is not going to call Harvard
for a favor like this.
She doesn't have to.
It doesn't have to be true.
It just has to get Helena here.
You've gone full Fox News.
The second her plane
hits the tarmac, I post,
she gets arrested.
One parent down,
only a hundred or so more to go.
Another DM
from Audrey's wicked stepmother.
But it's probably
premium gasoline, so
Javier was in my seat in Mandarin.
And then there wasn't even
a seat for me in trig.
And Luna, someone poured yogurt
on my Met step.
And it wasn't just any yogurt,
it was So Delicious.
Mm. Well, if getting cancelled
were fun, everyone would do it.
I just hope after Julien and you, I
Oh, my God. What?
Oh my Oh, did someone finally find
the makeup tutorial that you made
- for Brent Rivera?
- No, no, no.
Guess who just got asked
to style Julia Fox
for her Tribeca premiere?
Florian showed my work
to his aunt and she loved it.
Hot and connected.
You have to hold on to that one.
The premiere's tomorrow,
which means I have to pull
an entire rack of magic in
- four hours.
- Okay.
Monet de Haan
will you be the Andy
to my Miranda Priestly
just this once?
Oh, honey, I'm already invisible.
The best attribute for an assistant.
And I would love a day away
from this hellscape.
So, what's the movie? Who else is in it?
Because you need to know
your red carpet competition.
Good point. That will definitely
influence aesthetic.
- Let me check.
- Okay.
What?
This can't be right.
- Oh, is it Rachel Zegler?
- Worse.
- Hmm?
- My mother.
- What, she didn't tell you?
- Unbelievable.
She already landed at JFK.
And her story is filtered.
Okay. Okay. So, um,
which house do we start with?
Louis? Fendi? Balenciaga?
The first house we need to visit
- Mm-hmm?
- is mine.
Uh, okay.
We're getting revenge on GG
by going to the movies?
All-film passes
to the Tribeca Film Festival.
A single tweet from T-Swift
won Papa Joe the presidency.
We did it? More like she did it.
Celebrities follow Gossip Girl and
have no idea the harm she's doing to us.
We find the right Tay-Tay,
GG goes bye-bye.
- Hmm!
- Huh.
I'm so pumped you're coming.
Well, my mom is actually
up and out of bed,
so I could spare 90 minutes.
Well, the Weerasethakul is four hours.
Ugh.
But hitting that first screening is
Your favorite tradition? I know.
We do it every year, honey.
Yeah, but it's Max's first time.
That's a phrase
I haven't heard in years.
This just in.
Julien Calloway extinguishing all hope.
Don't believe me?
Just ask her new partner in design.
After the big reveal last week,
I have decided to scrap
a full-line debut
to focus solely on the mini-maxi,
named after my muse.
You'll find both "The Julien"
and Julien herself
at tomorrow's pop-up.
I'll see you there.
What the actual fuck? She's lying!
Now that Jessica's not using
the rest of your mom's designs,
the injunction's a bust.
Well, in the spirit of the weekend,
maybe leave the revenge plots
to John Woo and Truffaut.
Or Director Park.
This is not about revenge.
This is about redemption.
The only way to prop my mom
back up to where she belongs
is to put down that pop-up.
It's worse than I thought.
- Sorry to ambush you
- Are we gonna talk about
Clearly, that's still bothering you
even though I told you
I didn't know who she was
and was sad and lonely and,
well, she is hot in a sadistic,
- Charlize-would-play-her way.
- Oh, my God.
Okay. That's not why
I wanted to see you.
I've been following Gossip Girl
and I'm concerned about you.
What is there to be worried about?
Georgina's gone.
It's back to business as usual.
Georgina isn't gone.
You just took her mantle.
You're still spinning
this Julien-Audrey thing,
meddling in their lives. It's dangerous.
And if anything happens, all of us
face consequences, not just you.
Wendy, Scott, Sharon, Tati, Rafa
Well, he deserves it, but
Everyone knew what they were
getting themselves into.
But you've changed it now. You're
Well, you're lying.
Manipulating facts to sell stories.
And worse, you're addicted to it.
I can stop anytime I want.
- Said every addict everywhere.
- I know what I'm doing.
Prove it. Temporarily
disable Gossip Girl,
like you did when you got
too close to the edge before.
Take a couple days
to get your head on straight.
Because if you don't
What, are you threatening me?
Think about it, Kate. Please.
Yeah, I just wanna make sure
we see this display from the front.
Yeah. So just bring these
over there. It looks beautiful.
- Great. Got it.
- It's great. Thank you.
Oh. There's my partner.
- I am not your partner, Jessica.
- Are you sure?
Our site crashed three minutes
after my dress dropped.
- Take that, Kylie.
- By your dress,
do you mean the stolen pattern
you're taking credit for?
Partial credit.
Shouldn't you be thanking me?
For driving an even deeper wedge
between me and my best friend?
Okay. You need to think bigger
than petty teenage squabbling.
Focus on your future.
The level of attention I'm providing
is finally washing off
that scarlet letter your dad put on you.
Not even one mention
in your comments in weeks.
I've checked.
In a week, you and Audrey
will have made up.
Whether or not you have
even more brand partnerships
and sponsor deals
than you did pre-scandal?
That part's up to you.
There's a lot of buzz
around this film, Dolores.
Many are calling it a comeback.
Comeback? Oh, my God. That's funny.
To where have I gone?
I mean, recognition and representation
for Mexican women in cinema,
that's my priority these days.
I hear you're up for
the Mexican Academy's
Golden Ariel this year
for a lifetime achievement.
It's not about trophies for me.
All I care about is to put
attention in all the immense
and untapped female talent in Mexico
that America has chosen
to ignore for decades.
There are more than one
Salma Hayek out there.
There are thousands of us.
Okay. I must go. Thank you so much.
Mi Lunita! What a surprise!
For us both. I didn't know
you were coming to town.
You could've at least called, Mami.
Oh, mi amor. You know
that I don't love that word.
Our relationship is not bound
by rules of language.
Call me Lolo. And as for why
I didn't call
I'm swamped. Interview after interview.
This trip has been all business,
mi amor.
I was gonna call as soon
as the Festival ended,
I promise. Ooh,
that jacket is delicious.
- Luna picked it out for me.
- Oh. They need me over there.
Of course they do.
Congratulations, by the way.
This film sounds like exactly
what you've been waiting for.
I'm really looking forward
to watching it.
And you will, eventually.
The premiere is overbooked.
I couldn't even get your papi in,
and he has an Oscar.
I'm sure Julia has a seat for Luna.
Julia? Who is Julia?
Uh, Luna's styling your iconic
costar for the premiere.
Third on a call sheet is not a costar.
That's a day player.
But I tell you what,
if it means that much to you,
why don't you style me
for the event instead?
- She already agreed
- You'd let me do that?
You know I've always dreamt
of styling you.
Well, it appears both of our dreams
are coming true this week.
But I have to go.
It was great to see you.
I should know better
than to ask how you got these.
Just don't run your finger
across the ink for a bit, okay?
You ready? Time to channel
our Little Monster.
Our little what?
Girl, Gaga just posted from here.
We convince her GG's a bully,
she gets her whole standom on board.
Okay. Let me get this straight.
You think Lady Gaga,
Oscar Award winner
and like mega superstar,
is gonna want to help us
with our little fight
with an anonymous Instagram troll?
Do your research. Blair Waldorf,
one of the most famous
Constance alums, knows Gaga.
She probs told her all about
Gossip Girl back in the day.
We won't even have to expo-dump
for more than like five minutes.
I have her calendar here.
She's doing press
in Meeting Room 2 as we speak.
I definitely will not be asking
how you got her calendar.
Okay. So, what? We just wait
here until she comes out?
How are you gonna introduce us?
I think best when I force myself
into fight or flight mode.
Excuse me. Can I help you?
Oh, we're Miss Germanotta's assistants.
We're just waiting to escort her
to her next engagement.
Impossible. I'm her assistant.
Ingrid, did you see that new
Kogonada film? It's beautiful.
No. I was cleaning up your mess.
You were supposed to escort
Werner Herzog
from his hotel to Film Forum, dude.
He inexplicably ended up
at the Kips Bay AMC.
I'm kidding. I took him myself.
We had a lovely talk about Bruno Ganz.
You missed out.
I'm so sorry.
I don't know what happened.
I mean I do.
My girlfriend's having drama,
and she and my boyfriend
had to leave the movie midway through,
and they needed my help
finding the Uber pick-up line.
High school bullshit
is so two years ago for me.
It's not just high school bullshit.
They're trying to get revenge
on one of their good friends
who publicly humiliated her
Fuck. It's high school bullshit.
It's fine. It happens.
It's just, if you give
that stuff too much energy,
you end up missing out
on things that actually matter.
Well, Audrey and Max matter to me.
Of course, but so should you.
Where's that short you were
finishing up last Festival?
You fucked up with Herzog,
but I have another opportunity for you.
The moderator for Brit and Zal's
Q&A tomorrow
had to drop out last minute.
I think the audience
would be really charmed
by a teen wunderkind
asking the questions.
Are you joking?
I never joke about anything
involving The OA.
Just one condition, you have to show up.
I texted Florian explaining the
situation, but he never replied.
You had no choice, it's your mother.
And men can't handle a pivot.
Yet another reason I don't date them.
Adelante! We're trying this, okay?
- There she is.
- Hi.
Eric, I'd like you
to meet my daughter, Luna.
- Of course. I know Luna.
- You do?
- Oh, and hello, Monet.
- Ooh.
I had no idea you two were related.
Because she dropped Cruz so
she can make a name for herself
apart from me. Can you believe that?
- That was your idea.
- Good to see you, Eric.
Are you dressing someone here too?
Yeah. He's dressing me.
Dua got her Lipas done and now
she can't be seen in public
until the swelling goes down.
You asked your daughter to style you,
and she put in a lot of work.
Yeah. And I always say
that you have to put in the work
if you wanna get to the top.
Now you have a chance to assist
a real stylist like Eric.
I am a real stylist.
Of course you are, mi amor.
She was gonna work with Julia Fox.
Now I think she had to crawl back
and beg Ye to do it.
Hey, mi vida, next time, okay?
- I'm sorry. This is not
- Let's take the rack back to concierge
so Eric has room to work.
Ay, pero Lunita
Ay, ay, ay. These kids.
You can't
You can't let her do this to you.
It's fine, okay? It's complicated.
It's neither! Your mother
dropped you here
at nine years old
with only a maid to raise you.
You see her two weeks out of the year,
if she's not filming.
And if she is filming,
you're not allowed on set.
- She's jealous of you, Luna.
- What do you want me to do?
I want you to stop dimming your light
to make her feel better.
She's never going to respect you
if you don't stand up to her.
So tomorrow, not only are you
showing up at that premiere,
you're going to show her up too.
What's going on?
My mom's gonna end up coming to
that Harvard thing anyways, so
- That's great.
- Yeah.
I was worried you were looking
at Gossip Girl.
No. I unfollowed her
like you asked me to.
- Good.
- Yeah.
Now, do you wanna follow me?
Maybe I could give her like
some book thing.
A first edition
Joyce Carol Didion or something.
What?
You can't block someone
on Goodreads, right?
I could look up what her favorites are.
Okay. Could we maybe
not talk about Audrey
right now?
I'm in my head. I'm sorry.
Okay.
I lied about unfollowing Gossip Girl.
Obie!
Please tell me it isn't about me.
- Fuck!
- It's just a picture.
All right? It means nothing.
Just call her and explain.
Yeah, she's not gonna take my call.
All right.
Audrey, look, I cannot stand to see
two of the closest people in my life
Obie, stop.
not doing anything to fix
the situation that they're in.
All right. Please.
The picture means nothing.
I promise you. Just hear her out, okay?
I cannot believe you just did that.
You're right. I'm not normally
so involved in my, uh,
my one-week stands.
This is our second week, though.
Hmm.
Dumbo Hall. One hour.
See?
I cannot believe
you just made that happen.
I owe you big.
- We do have an hour.
- Mm-hmm.
That was the last screening
of the night.
Do you see her anywhere?
I did, but she's far
from the shallow now.
Oh, and scene.
I saw Samuel L. Jackson
back there. He tweets.
No. We are on the edge of glory.
We'll just keep trying.
Bet I can get Aki
to make us volunteer ushers.
The student has become the teacher.
Thanks for meeting me.
Since you roped Obie in,
Dr. Menzies made me.
Well, I'm glad you two are talking.
I gotta take this.
Question. So, when you said
you'd stay away from Jessica,
did you think I meant Simpson
or Alba or Chastain?
I only went to see her
to tell her that I refuse
to be associated with her any longer.
She tried to talk me
into cohosting her pop-up,
- but I would never.
- You should do it.
What?
My mom's in a really bad place
right now.
Not as bad as before, thank God.
But I think the best thing that
you could do for her right now
is to clear her name.
If you can convince everyone
that Jessica was inspired by my mom
as opposed to plagiarized by her,
all will be forgiven.
Do I have your permission to do
whatever it takes to do that?
Yeah. I think you need to go to that
pop-up and make this right, Julien.
Yeah. Anything for Kiki and you.
I'll call Jessica right now.
Thank you for believing me.
Too soon? I get it.
- So, how did it go?
- Great.
Rad. Well, now that that's all over,
you can come to my Q&A tomorrow.
No. No. We can't, and neither can you.
- We need your help on our plan.
- A plan? You didn't.
No, you're right. I didn't. She did.
Julien needs to learn
that there's consequences
for her actions.
I thought you were choosing
redemption over revenge?
Why should I have to choose?
Kiki, it's Julien.
I just talked to Audrey,
and I think I know a way
to fix everything.
Meet me tomorrow at 3:00.
I'll drop you the pin now.
The other woman of the hour.
Did you see that line out there?
They're here because of you.
Yeah, imagine how it would look
if I just turned around
and walked right out.
Well, what will it take to prevent that?
Your permission to do a live
"Stop the Story" at the event today.
- I love it.
- With Kiki.
- Are you kidding?
- Fuck no.
If you want my help,
you need to clear the air.
A public interview.
Discuss how you inspired each other.
Of course you'd be drawn
to the same fabrics,
the same patterns.
You worked together for years.
You share the same taste. That's all.
- Sure.
- As if she What?
She's right. We're here now.
No reason to dwell on the past.
- It's a trap, Jess.
- Let's go, Obie.
- Will!
- Okay.
- Pre-approved questions only.
- I expected that.
So long as an outside party
can be the one approving.
Your daughter.
Fine.
Let's get Julien into a Julien.
- Yes.
- Shall we?
Are you okay out here?
I don't want you staying
just for me. What?
Just, the old Julien
would've never have asked.
But, yes, I'm fine. I just
You know, I'm still waiting
to hear back from my mom.
Just got word from the front.
Everything is in place.
Except Aki. I wish he was here.
Do you think
that we're terrible partners
for for bailing
on his little film thing?
No, we're not bailing.
We said that we'd be there after this,
only this is taking longer
than we thought.
Hmm. He's fine.
- Give me one.
- You wanna try it?
This way.
Over here, please.
Is everything okay?
- Some more high school bullshit.
- Right here!
Let's get you to the green room.
Over here!
Dolores, you look amazing!
Ah, there you go. Beautiful.
Everyone, I would like to introduce you
to Dolores's guest.
Her very own daughter, Luna.
- Oh, Luna!
- Wow!
They should walk together
probably, right?
- Get closer together, you two.
- Luna! Luna!
I mean, who doesn't love
a classy older woman
passing the torch to her very young
and very hot daughter?
You look beautiful, Mom.
Must go. The show is about to start.
Dolores! Dolores!
Luna, right here!
So, what's the big emergency?
- You left us no choice.
- "Us"? Who's "us"?
The teachers?
- Welcome to your intervention.
- You've gotta be kidding me.
I told them interventions never work.
- Is that whisky?
- It's not my intervention.
- What are you doing here?
- They said lunch.
Please, take a seat.
- I am not.
- You heard her, Keller.
Pop a squat.
We're all worried about you, Kate.
You crossed a line.
When GG targets students,
they attack each other.
But targeting the most powerful people
in the free world, using their own kids?
You are destroying families.
That was never the mission statement.
Forget the kids.
Think about your own safety.
These people get away
with literal murder.
You think they won't kill a messenger?
They can't if they don't know
who the messenger is.
- Oh, come on.
- Perhaps we should take turns
raising our hands when we want to talk.
Georgina Sparks figured it out.
You think Roger Menzies can't?
One of us could tell him.
You wouldn't.
You think I like living next to the BQE,
or having my hair dyed by Duane Reade?
How much do you think Menzies
would give me for your name?
We are all underpaid
and underappreciated.
I could finally afford Raya.
Okay, that's not the point of this.
Can we all just zoom out for a second?
We tried changing the kids
and it sort of worked,
for a bit, right?
But then they went back. Why?
Because they're kids.
They learn by example.
And the people they're all watching
- are the parents.
- She's got a point.
She has no points.
She's taking us in circles.
We had it all wrong.
We thought too small.
Forget high school. That's nothing.
Gossip Girl can change the world.
Okay. Can we just focus here? We
Do you really think
that you can do that?
Yes. I think I'm getting closer
every day.
- How about we cut a deal?
- A deal? No. This is this
- I love a deal.
- Me too. What are you thinking?
Give me a month to prove it. One month.
A chance to make
real, tangible, lasting change.
And no more benching people
for rumors and innuendo.
I mean actually taking them
off the field.
Finally, something I can understand.
If Gossip Girl
can scare the parents straight,
imagine how much better
our world can be.
Just one month.
And if you're worried about me
getting caught,
I promise that if GG ever goes down,
I'll go down with it. Just me.
Could we have that in writing?
Absolutely. I started this,
I'll finish it.
Let's take it to a vote.
Isn't this amazing?
No. Something's wrong. Nobody's buying.
What?
Oh. Did you not find your size
or the color you wanted?
They're just flying off the shelves.
I could arrange a special order.
Eighteen hundred dollars
for a ripped dress is insane.
Eighteen hundred dollars?
Um, excuse me, everybody.
Uh, apparently we've had a bit
of a mix-up with the tagging.
The Julien is actually only 298 dollars.
So sorry for the confusion.
Can you believe this shit?
Yet another designer
claiming to be "woke,"
but failing to deliver where it counts.
Makeda. Hey, girl.
How are you liking the dress?
Apparently, it's not for me to like.
How can you put your name on a dress
- that only goes up to an eight?
- I would never.
They carry up to size 30 in-store.
I looked at every single rack
here, girl.
You should be ashamed. I'm out.
Oh.
Oh, my God.
"The Foolian" is trending.
People are really reading them
to filth. Oh, my God.
Just wait until they see
the pièce de résistance.
I hope you're either updating
your Letterboxd
or booking your next moderator gig.
Yeah, um, that.
Why so down? You were incredible.
Jane Rosenthal's assistant
even asked me who you were.
I mean, you're in, dude.
Brit and Zal did ask me
to shadow them this summer.
You said yes, right?
Audrey and Max and I
have this trip planned.
Dude, who are you living for?
- They're my partners.
- Where are they, then?
I mean, this whole weekend,
they barely showed.
You might be their partner,
but are they yours?
All I'm saying is you're special,
and if if they can't see that,
at least you have to, right?
- Sorry.
- Sorry, uh, yeah.
No. It was, um It was wrong of me.
I just wanted to do that last year,
and I told myself I'd at least tell you,
- and instead of telling you
- No, it's it's okay.
- I appreciate that.
- And I appreciate you.
I hope your partners do too.
- This is terrible.
- I know.
Gaga skipped the carpet
and ducked out pre-credits.
Gaga. Right.
- What were you talking about?
- Yeah, same thing.
So, do you think you can get us
into the afterparty?
Girl, have we met?
I do have to admit, the bitch
did look flawless on film.
Well, she probably slept with the DP.
- What?
- My parents have an agreement
so long as it benefits her lighting.
All right. Luna La and Monet de Haan.
- I don't see those names.
- Check again.
Um, try De La Cruz.
I'm Dolores's daughter.
Okay. Yes. I see that name
as a "Do Not Allow."
Oh, that bitch.
Okay.
Kiki? Um, it's Julien again.
It's getting a little nuts here.
Are you still coming? Are you
Fast fashion kills! Fast fashion kills!
Fast fashion kills!
Fast fashion kills! Fast fashion kills!
Fast fashion kills!
Fast fashion kills! Fast fashion kills!
Jessica Bradley's dresses
are manufactured
- in a Cambodian sweatshop.
- What? No!
We will not stand idly by
while laborers are abused!
- Tell me this isn't true.
- Of course not.
- No.
- Everything that we manufacture
is done safely.
Don't listen to his lies!
The blood of those workers
is on your hands.
Take that.
Fast fashion kills! Fast fashion kills!
Fast fashion kills!
Fast fashion kills! Fast fashion kills!
Harris, what are you doing here?
Fast fashion kills!
Fast fashion kills!
Hey!
Harris cracked. You set me up?
I was only trying to help you.
I even had a plan to clear Kiki's name.
But you never wanted that, did you?
You just wanted to make me look bad.
I asked you to stay out of my life,
but you never listen.
You always show up in the worst ways.
I had to do something.
Well, I'm glad that you did it
before your mom got here
- because if she would've
- Hold on.
You were gonna bring my mom down here?
You said by any means necessary.
Do you have any idea
what right or wrong is anymore?
You wanted her to step into that room
and be around those people, those
people who ruined her fucking life?
Those people includes your dad.
And though he may not be
the most gracious
or kind person right now, he's
Selfish and cruel.
He's a lying, cheating thief.
He's your father.
And what about last week
- when you asked me to
- Is this about me or you?
This is about us.
You cannot fix everyone's families
just because yours is unfixable.
Some people are just bad.
You can't see that by now?
Or can you not since you've become one?
Fast fashion kills!
Fast fashion kills! Fast fashion kills!
Z, now is really not a good time.
So, we got caught trying
to sneak into an afterparty
and they said they'll only release us
to a parent or guardian.
I'll be right there.
Fast fashion kills!
Fast fashion kills! Fast fashion kills!
Get changed and I'll go get
the car, all right?
Thank you, Obie.
Fast fashion kills! Fast fashion kills!
Fast fashion kills!
Fast fashion kills! Fast fashion kills!
Fast fashion kills! Fast fashion kills!
Fast fashion kills!
Fast fashion kills! Fast fashion kills!
Fast fashion kills!
Uh
Champagne for you, sir?
- Kenno, we're here.
- Hey, baby. We missed you today.
Guys, this is, uh
Ingrid. Hey, great to see you.
Yeah. Thank you
for keeping our boy company.
It was my pleasure.
- You missed his big moment.
- Big moment?
- He was amazing
- I just got to ask
this director I like some questions.
- It was not a big deal.
- Oh.
Well, from now on, we promise
not to miss a single frame,
Q, or A, for the rest of the Festival.
Uh, this is it, dude. It's over.
- What?
- See you, Menzies.
I really thought it was all week.
- Yeah.
- Well, I wish you'd asked.
Well, babe, we had a thing.
You always have a thing. I never do.
This was important to me.
Oh, no.
Did Aki kiss her back?
I couldn't tell. Is the triad open?
I mean, I don't think so,
but after today's events,
I don't know if I really know
Audrey very well anymore.
Okay. Well, I should definitely
tell her, right?
Before she finds out on Gossip Girl.
- What?
- If you would have asked me yesterday,
I would have agreed
with you 100 percent.
But today, I say stay out of it.
Okay. Let's get you guys out of here.
Wait, Luna.
What is it? What happened?
Luna!
- Thank you so much. You're so
- I need to speak to you.
- A fan. Excuse me.
- I am not your
Hey. Hey. Please do not make
a scene, okay?
I knew you would. That's why
I had them take you off the list.
You think you control
everything, don't you?
I worked so hard to get back up
the call sheet.
Please don't ruin this moment for me.
- Like I ruined your life?
- Oh, come on.
- You did not ruin my life.
- Did you want me, Mamá?
Of course I did.
Not like this.
- Yoli.
- It doesn't matter how.
I really wanted to be a mother. I did.
So badly.
It's just that
I knew I wasn't strong enough
to have a daughter.
I knew it would end up
like this, with
with me forced to see a vision of myself
I could never get back.
And look what happened. I
I got a gorgeous daughter anyway.
And I love you for who you are, okay?
- I've always supported you.
- Behind closed doors, maybe.
You sent me to live with Yoli, Mamá.
You couldn't stand being around me.
- I sent you away to protect you.
- From what?
Me.
I knew if I were around you,
I'd turn into this.
You turned into it anyway.
Please try to understand.
Understand you chose your ego
over your family?
I do understand that, Dolores.
I always have. I wish I didn't.
But now I know something else too.
Something I won't keep to myself.
- Dolores, Dolores. Hi!
- Hey.
Exactly. Yeah. I mean
Excuse me for just one second.
Hey. Ready to get out of here?
- Everything okay?
- Uh, yeah, yeah. It's just
No, it's just business,
as usual, you know?
You lost. I know how it feels.
I've done it a lot.
I didn't lose.
My victory just got delayed.
Just what exactly
does this victory mean to you?
My best friend gets
one more month to be a monster
and then she gets her soul back.
Now I'm a monster?
It's okay. Clearly,
I like monsters sometimes.
Ew. Ugh. Never remind me of that again.
I just wish it had been you.
I wish it had been me too.
You have to take that, don't you?
I have to take that.
Wow. That's juicy, and about a parent.
Maybe you're on to something.
Don't lose your nerve.
I'm just tucking it away a second.
Wait, you missed that one too.
I just love the movies, don't you?
Two hours in the dark where
you can forget who you are
and pretend to be
whomever you choose.
But it ends when the lights come on.
What's happening?
That is, unless
you're Dolores De La Cruz.
Or should we say
more like Penélope Cruz?
Turns out, the waning Mexican starlet
isn't Mexican after all,
but Madrid born and bred.
Looks like Lady De La Cruz
has curated an image
built entirely on lies.
Hispanic, sí, but Latina, no.
Don't believe me?
Feel free to confirm
with a reliable source.
Her very own daughter, of course.
And that's not the only
mama drama of the evening.
From style icon to saboteur.
That sound you hear?
- Audrey Hope's mother
- No, no, no.
popping the very big bubble
that was her ex's hopes and dreams.
Oh, my God. I have to go find my mom
before she sees this. Fuck. Oh, my God.
What's this?
What's going on?
I know sometimes
you're hard on me, but only
only because you want me to the best.
I really do love you, Mom.
I love you too.
We should have never left
this house today.
I agree. You want a drink?
I wanna forget today ever happened.
I take that back.
I wanna remember this day forever.
This is the day that I realized
what I need to do to fix everything.
- What's that?
- I need to do what Monet wanted.
What Gossip Girl wanted.
I need to go to war.
- With Audrey?
- No.
On her behalf, with Gossip Girl.
But she's anonymous.
You can't defeat anonymous.
You can when you unmask it.
I'm gonna find out who she is.
You know what? We are out.
I'm going to the corner
and I will be back in five.
Leaving without saying goodbye?
I don't remember you saying hello.
You're right. I owe you an apology.
And I owe you one. So we're even.
It didn't seem like
the right time to introduce you.
Doesn't seem like
the right time for anything.
At least, not right now.
I'm sorry, Florian.
- Mom, are you going somewhere?
- Uh, yes. The Dunes.
Rehab?
- You didn't?
- I did.
No.
I just hid it better from you this time.
- I'm so sorry.
- No. You didn't do anything.
Yes, I did. I did everything.
No, sweetheart. Listen to me.
This is not a bad thing.
It's the opposite.
I know enough to know that I need help,
and now I'm gonna get it, okay?
Oh, sweetie, come here. Come here.
Okay.
Look after my girl.
This is all my fault, isn't it?
If I hadn't have tried
to help and then I
No, no, no.
Hey, look, everything you did
was out of love, okay?
Okay? You did nothing wrong, right, Ak?
Right.
We're, uh
we're gonna get through this together.
Okay? Remember,
we're not going anywhere.
I know what you all want.
You want me to tell you
that people will eventually
do the right thing.
That they'll come around
and listen to their better angels,
or maybe even right their wrongs.
- Oh, no! Is it Georgina?
- She doesn't knock. Stay here.
Mrs. de Haan. This is, um
Unorthodox, I know,
but I need to speak with you.
May I come in?
Uh
We need to talk about Gossip Girl.
After she cancelled Monet,
there was a subtle shift in my daughter.
A thank you here,
an air of heretofore
unseen humility there,
but tonight she walked
into my study, hugged me
and told me she loved me.
It appears Gossip Girl has achieved
what I have failed
to accomplish in 16 years.
To instill respect. She succeeded.
I couldn't agree more.
I was punitive when I learned
that teachers sent in tips.
But I was mistaken.
Going forward, I ask that you
and the other teachers
continue to share your insights
with Gossip Girl.
In return, you'll receive
cooperation from me,
in any way you need.
- Do we have a deal?
- I think we do.
But what if I said
there are no better angels?
Only devils and deals
and the space in between?
And you know what
they say about dancing with the devil.
Prepare to get burned.
Whoa! What the fuck?
Fuck!
XOXO, Gossip Girl.