How To Make It In America s02e08 Episode Script

What's In A Name?

Previously on How To Make It In America I had this sick idea last night that I wanted to pitch you Crisp by Yosi What is this rumor about Rasta Monsta being a front for weed spray? I'm not a drug front, Steve.
- You pitched me a story.
- Yeah.
I said no and then you went ahead and wrote it anyway.
I'm not sure this is gonna work out.
We need to find a new manufacturer immediately.
You got that kind of money for production? - What is that? - I got that from Domingo.
Who the fuck is Domingo?! This is business, do you want half of something or all of nothing? Do whatever you wanna do with Yosi and Nancy.
Just don't call it Crisp.
Hey.
Hey.
You look tired.
Yeah, so much going on right now.
Has he called you? Not once.
Are you gonna call him? Honestly, I have nothing to say to him.
But, Yosi, these changes don't work.
Enzo, redo the samples the way we discussed or I will personally stuff you in a box and send you back to Rome in a slow boat.
Go, "andiamo".
Hello.
So did anybody offer you something to drink? Good.
Okay.
Sit sit.
Wh-where's Cam? Well, Cam wasn't feeling too well.
I'm sorry to hear that, but you talked to him, right? You have a decision for me? Yeah, we spoke.
- We're in.
- Great news.
Nancy was right about you.
You're very affable.
Cam, a little bit of an attitude, no? Cam's cool.
Anyway, I've been dreaming of the logo all night.
we make the "Y" look like a serpent wrapped around the OSI in old English font.
Sick, right? Yeah, that I could work with that.
I just need some time if that's cool? We got to crank on the delivery, so you can make it by tomorrow, right? - Yeah, sure.
- Good.
- Rene - Shut up.
- I was only - Gonna lie to me again? I'm sorry, Cuz.
I thought I was gonna take care of the whole thing and I didn't wanna both you with it.
Well, you didn't take care of it, so now I gotta teach your boy Domingo a lesson.
No no! Please.
Not necessary.
- We're good.
- We are? You took all those tinctures off the street? Not not exactly.
I was trying to get rid of 'em, but then we got robbed by the East Flatbush Caribbean League.
They said that you gotta talk to them or they'll show the bottles to the police.
- I' fix it! I promise! - You can't fix shit! Stay out of it! Throw at the dragon, you gotta come on, cause I'm too da nice, Don! You know that So Jason and Noah said they got three tables for me and what I need from you is to invite every hot girl that you know.
I'll see what I can do.
You ever see that movie, "The 25th Hour"? Ed Norton is doing like seven years.
- You're doing 40 days.
- 53.
I was thinki, man, the email we u It could be schmaltzy.
You know? "Ben Epstein and Cam Calderon cordially invite you to say farewell to their good friend David Kaplan.
" Yeah, that ain't gonna happen, man I don't think Cam wants his name next to mine on anything foa minute.
- Oh, a little seven-year itch? Well, you know, we're having some issues with our partner, but the money is, like, really good.
Fuck, man, money Right, yeah, it matters, but it's only one piece of the puzzle.
Sometimes who you're doing business with is a lot more important than the business that you're doing.
- Hi.
- Hey, can I help you? Yeah, I'm just I'm here to see Edie.
Is that my former ir apparent who threw it all away to go back DJ in Ibiza? I haven't even been to Ibiza, Edie.
Get that apple bottom in here.
I feel like this town is eating me alive Well, then take a deep breath And bite back.
You are a beautiful, intelligent woman in the prime of your life in the greatest city on Earth.
You can do anything you want, you always could.
I was lucky to have you when I did.
Can I have my old job back, Edie? No! You quit on me and I find somebody younger And I pay her half as much as I paid you, so.
Honeybun.
This is not what you want.
You need to go out there, find your passion and move forward with life.
- I don't know if I can do that.
- Of course you can.
- Try.
- Well, it was pretty inspiring out in Bushwick - With the Neanderthals.
Try harder.
And then for a boy, I like Aidan or Logan.
What? It's very popular.
Where? In Minneapolis, Minnesota? Did did I tell you about tomorrow? - No.
- See, last minute, I gotta go check out this bottling plant - in Atlanta.
- Bottling plant? Yeah, you know, Coca-Cola is down there.
So when the big Vert American order comes in, I'll' be ready.
I'll be back tomorrow.
Rene, don't you dare lie to me.
It's nothing.
I have an situation with some Jamaicans.
- So you were lying.
- It's nothing I got it handled.
Yeah.
Hey! If you see anything you like, I'll sell it to you off the truck for half price Hey, man.
Literally just did his Q&A with the staff so they could better learn how to sell our shit.
Fucking weird, right? Yeah.
How's Crunch? Crisp? It's good.
All right, Cam.
I'll see you later, man.
I can't believe you got me rolling into east Flatbush Hey man, look, you said you needed a car, - I got you a car.
- Well yo, I really appreciate you doing this for me.
Hey, look, I got you in this shit, I'm gonna get you out.
All right? Hey.
You got an extra cigarette? Thanks.
Ego.
So Yosi mention he needs you to help me out tonight? - No! - Yeah.
It looks like it's gonna be a late one too, man What else is new in this fucking sweatshop? Yo, some dude here to see you.
- Who is it? He say he only need five minutes.
Malik, what did we it? Talk about yesterday? When I get a visitor, you gotta get his name Damn! Yo, what's your name again? Yo, the safe word is pumpkin, a'ight? I hear that shit, I'm kicking in that door, just me and my bitch, a'ight? Mr.
Thompson, how you doing? - Cam Calderon.
- Do I know you? Not personally, but I think you know my cousin Rene Calderon.
Yeah.
Your cousin is a deadbeat pimp.
Hey, Horse! Rene's obviously misunderstood.
He had nothing to do with those weed sprays.
Actually it was all me and my friends, so we came here to take full responsibility and work this out with you personally.
Hey, man, nice to see you again.
Look, I don't care if it was all your doing or not.
Rasta Monsta is Rene's company.
Now he's gotta see the error of his inflammatory product or deal with the ramifications of the scorned Caribbean people.
But I don't think you realize who you're dealing with.
Rene will kill before he gives you a dime.
Let me make this all go away.
I don't think you know - Who you're dealing with.
- Pumpkin.
What, you come rolling up in my office like this.
What if I bucked you right now? What then? What the fuck is going All right.
Which one do I shoot first? - Everton, no.
- Please please.
No no no! We came here to try to prevent violence and bring some money to your organization.
All right, I like that.
And what do you have for my organization? I got $20,000 cash in hand for you tomorrow if you let me take the Rasta Monsta bottles tonight.
Go get my cocolo friend.
Let's go.
Everton, Everton.
You know Rene Calderon is an outstanding member of his community and he would never do anything to offend any Rastas.
He love Rastas.
He loves Jamaican food.
He even got a lot of Jamaican friends, man.
Mike, Mike.
Bringing a federal investigation on Rasta Monsta could be very hazardous to your health.
You got the wrong fucking guy! He was in Everton's bedroom.
What the fuck you doing in Everton's bed, man? I was gonna surprise him, but his ass ain't never come home last night.
Must've went with your cousin to the Damian Marly Show to sell weed spray.
And when you find him, please tell him that Malik is pissed as hell.
Fuck! How much longer to Amherst? I need a toilet.
15 minutes.
Hey, baby, what are you doing up so late? 'Cause I'm waiting for you to come home, baby.
Where's Malik? - Morning, Bridgit.
- Morning.
- Yeah.
- It's tomorrow in China.
- You have something for me? - On my way.
Morning.
Okay, all right.
So I thought a lot about what we said The serpent, the old English look, the whole thing, right? And What the fuck is this? This is our new design.
It's sick, right? It's just what we talked about, except that I put a two-headed snake there.
Do you like that? What happened to Crisp? Well, Cam had some issues with Crisp by Yosi.
Then talk him out of them.
You're supposed to be the smart one.
No, but "crunch" is dope.
"Crisp" is a better name.
And I know you agree, otherwise you wouldn't be in here trying to keep it for yourself.
Look, would you feel better if I wrote you another advance check for, say, $200,000? You have talent, Ben, but no idea how tough this business is.
I can make your life very easy if you let me.
I'm sorry.
You know, I treat people I do business with very differently from people that I don't.
Okay.
So Now at we don't have business, there is a personal matter that I would like to settle with you.
There is? Are you really surprised right now? - What? - You didn't think I would find out, doing it right under my nose when I trusted you? Come on, man, what kind of person are you? Yosi, I'm sorry, Okay? I got caught up, but it didn't mean anything.
She still loves you.
I know it.
What the fuck are you talking about? W-what the fuck are you talking about? I have cameras.
You kept Enzo here all nit.
Trying to steal my talent? Everything Enzo does belongs to me.
What the fuck are you talking about? Nothing.
I I was talking about Enzo too.
Sorry.
Did something happen between you and Nancy? Yosi, I totally understand if you just wanna hit me in the face right now.
Just go.
So how do you wanna play this? I want those little bottles.
Yeah well, I want my intern, Malik.
I'm sure you do.
Horse.
You know what? Rene, I think we should just squash this thing.
You know, I was thinking about doing the same thing when I went over to your house, 4:00 in the morning.
Right, Malik? When I went over to the house.
What the hell was Malik doing at Everton's crib at 4:00 in the morning? The East Flatbush Caribbean League would be happy to welcome Rasta Monsta into our neighborhood.
I'm not worried about your neighborhood.
I'm worried about vert.
Vert America will never hear another word from us.
That is, if you Keep your mouth shut about Malik.
I'm not gonna say nothing, but you gotta let go of this, bro.
You gotta be proud of who you are.
You can't be so angry.
Love will change your life if you let it.
It just happened to me.
Brother Rene here done gone Dr.
Phil on us, y'all.
Okay.
No.
Come on, man.
We're good? - We' good.
- All right.
Hey, listen.
You know, uh, in addition to running The East Flatbush Caribbean League, I also have a little management company.
I just handle just a couple of artists.
Horse is one of 'em.
Maybe he you do like a whole jingle for Rasta Monsta.
He actually loves the shit.
Come on, Horse, give 'em taste.
Liking that.
All right.
I told you that she's in the middle of something right now.
- That's awesome.
- Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben You lied to me.
Excuse me, I'm in the middle of a meeting here.
Yeah, I really don't care.
I'm sorry.
Can you give me a couple of minutes? - What's your fucking problem? - What the fuck is my problem? Using Yosi as a manufacturer was your idea.
So what? So you set us up to get played by your husband.
I set you up to make a lot of money and you fucked it all up.
You don't listen, Ben.
I told you he didn't know a thing.
What the fuck were you thinking? You are psychotic on levels that I am only now beginning to understand.
You know, I spoke to my friend at South Willard about Crisp.
- You did? I showed him your lookbook and he said it seemed unevolved, juvenile and lacked focus.
Well, fuck your friend.
Yeah, well, you just may have to, because they said the same thing at Odin and opening ceremony.
Ben, you're really cute and you're highly ambitious, but I gotta tell you I am not sure your destiny is in fashion.
Well, it was a pleasure not doing business with you, Nancy.
What the fuck was that? Somebody could get killed.
Sorry.
Who is it? Yeah, I'm here about the Craigslist ad The full body massage.
Can't pass up a deal.
How do you know where I live? Because I used to work for the FBI/lulu told me.
Hey, listen, thanks so much for the Russian baths visit.
- That was so great.
- Yeah, I know.
I'm really sorry about that.
Look, shit's been kind of strange lately.
Some girls just wanna fuck me because their boyfriends wear Neanderthal T-shirts.
- That must be so hard for you.
- No.
I'm actually pretty good with commitment, plus Heather is into the idea of threesomes.
It's just too bad that she didn't find you attractive.
What do you want? I'm really sorry that you got fired for writing a fucking article about me.
Don't be sorry.
It was my fault.
I read the article.
It was really fucking good.
You know, you're an Okay writer, Rachel.
Thanks, Tim.
Look, you definitely have a way of making my Neanderthal bullshit sound important.
Rachel, look, I just came by today to see if you wanted - to come work for us.
- What? Yeah, I keep trying to tell you.
Shit has gotten super fucking busy.
And as opposed to paying some publicist four grand a month, I figure I'd give you two.
Are you into that? - Yeah, Okay.
- Awesome.
Shit's gonna get weird.
Am I the only guy to ever get kicked out of his own going-away party? Thanks for nothing, Dez.
Really.
- Really appreciate it so much.
- Kapo, come on.
It's the Croatian.
I got my hands tied.
What do you want me to do? Do you know that I am going to medium- security prison tomorrow? I could get shanked in the shower.
The last thing I'm gonna remember is you kicking me out of my table.
- Come on.
- It's great.
- Relax.
We're good.
- Yeah, relax.
Bullshit.
The kind of money I spend here Stay strong behind the wall and remember, they can lock your body, but they can't trap your mind.
We love you, baby.
Let's go.
Yeah! - Can't lock up the mind! - Hey, I know you.
You do? Yeah, I showed your friend an apartment once, right? - That apartment on 11th.
- Yeah.
My God, you're the Real Estate agent.
Yeah.
- Hi.
Hi.
How are how are you doing? - Hi.
I think I'm doing a little better than you.
- Hi, man.
How are you? - What up, man? I'm all right.
- Can't complain.
- Yeah? Yeah yeah.
Chillin' chillin'.
- Cam, what up? - Not too much.
Hey, can I buy you a drink real quick? Pardon me.
Lulu! There you are.
Debbie, Debbie, Debbie, Debbie baby! Debbie! Debbie? Hey hey, babe Debbie? - Hello? - Hey.
- Hello?! - Yes?! Baby, what's going on? Where are you? I can't go through another night like last night again.
What are you talking about? I don't wanna have this baby with you! I'm too old anyway.
I should've not even told you.
Look look, Deb.
Deb, I want I wanna talk to you.
I-I wanna come see you.
Please! To say what? You can change? We tried that.
Yes! - Nobody goes home.
- I know a place in Chinatown.
Nigga, let's go! Yo, Cam, would you give me a second, please? Thanks, man.
What's up?! I turned down Crisp by Yosi.
Cool.
Hey hey, let me just be honest with you, Okay? I never really believed we could make it on our own.
Sometimes I feel like I'm destined to work at some lame ad agency - Or back at retail.
- Dude, you gotta stop with that.
I know, but I worry I'm not talented enough or I don't know, the universe has other plans for me.
Fuck what the universe has planned.
I spoke English as a second language.
I dropped out of high school and I never doubted once that we weren't gonna make it.
I thought these people were gonna help us.
I was just determined not to fail for the millionth time in my life.
And I fucked up.
I'm sorry.
I'm really sorry.
I get it.
All good.
- Yeah? - Yeah.
Hey, you know, so I was talking to the kid that lives here.
He's moving out at the end of the month.
Yeah? Hey, this could be a good office for us, right? What? With the gadzooks money.
We could swing it.
What gadzooks money? You remember Andy Sussman, right? Only for Crisp do I come Chinatown at 5:00 in the morning to take a meeting.
Nice to see u, Cam.
- What's up, Andy? - Gadzooks is up.
I got my uncle's factory ready to work overtime to make the delivery, which is not bad, considering Ben call me yesterday - begging me to be your rep.
- You did, Ben? I did.
Ben said he needed your blessing to make it official.
So what do you guys say? You in or what? - Definitely yes.
- All right.
You know, you two never should've dissed the kid in the first place.
- I tried to tell him.
- Yeah yeah yeah.
And don't be fooled by the baby face.
- I'm an animal.
- How could we, man? So wll ship gadzooks and then what? What are we doing next, guys? Come on, let's lock and load.
- We're making jeans.
- Why not? Making jeans.
Sounds good to me.
All right.
This is exactly how I wanna remember my boys When I'm locked up in my cage.
I was just telling Cam about the jeans.
- Finally.
- Yeah yeah.
- You likes my Crisp? - Right right.
- I know you like that.
Stop! No! - How?! - I found a tailor.
We're going in.
We're going in!
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