I Woke Up A Vampire (2023) s02e08 Episode Script

1
[chattering]
[Shapeshifter] Carmela,
don't leave me.
♪
No. It is not your time.
I will not let you go again.
[voices whisper indistinctly]
[whispers continue]
Carmie?
[Kev] You're not a freak.
You're my best friend.
[Carmie] I believe I broke
my unremarkable streak.
[garbled voices speak rapidly]
[Rick Astley] You must lead us.
I feel different, like me.
[echoes]
[Shapeshifter] Carmie.
Carmie.
- [Carmie grunts softly]
- Can you hear me?
[grunts softly]
Uh, are you okay?
Did Tristan hurt you?
You don't think I could stop
a Blended Warrior Fairy?
You he almost ended.
What were you thinking?
I was just trying
to protect you.
You have a hero's heart.
- Let me help you.
- Rest.
Soon, you'll be back to normal.
[groans]
- Normal? What is that?
[Shapeshifter chuckles]
All my life,
I thought that everybody
knew exactly who they were,
and I I tried to fit in,
but I was just so different.
And I thought that it was
because I was adopted,
but then I turned 13.
And the dreams started.
That was the first clue,
but the fangs
were a dead giveaway.
[Shapeshifter chuckles]
I was alone.
I had no one to go to,
no one to tell me
what was happening to me.
Why did you leave? Why
What did I do?
[gasps]
You didn't do anything!
It was the hunters.
Excuse me. Pardon me.
Coming through. Move it!
[cosplayer] Ow!
Hey, I was in line!
I have an urgent situation.
And what is that?
I need the big room, 5A,
at 4:00 p.m. tomorrow to hold
the world's
greatest comic book sensation.
Do you want to
write this down?
Of course.
- Anything else?
- Yes.
I'll need a full audio video
run-through starting at 3:00
and then a press holding area
for the Q and A after,
to keep those animals
separate from the real fans.
And a full deli platter
for two, vegan.
- Yeah.
- Did you get that all?
No.
No to vegan. No to the room.
Nada, nein, nee, b sh $, nahi.
No to Kev. No to everything.
"No" is a tiny word
created by small minds
to stop great things.
I don't recognize
its existence.
Well, I hope you recognize that
an artist
doesn't just get a panel off
of one comic.
The traditional path
is that that artist finish
his, her, their second novel
and then maybe a small stand
for signings.
All I'm hearing
is a lot of blah-blah-blah.
What I wanna hear
is that you'll be cancelling
the 14th reboot of a worn-out
superhero TV premiere
and replace it with new talent
who has deigned
to gift your weirdo convention
with his new book.
- Ah, you are scary!
- You want something?
No! Oh! [grunts]
Oh, I can do this
all day long.
Are you trying
to stare me down?
- Mm-hmm
- It's on. I will damage you.
- Is that all you got?
- Oh, I got more.
Meet me at room 5A at 4:00 p.m.
We are being told
a word we do not accept.
It's spelled N-O!
[tense music]
♪
[phone chimes]
[clerk] Hold that stare.
I need to answer this.
[Leanna] Meet me at room 5A
at 4:00 p.m.
We are being told a word
we do not accept.
What? You're the Leanna?
- Yes. You've heard of me?
- Heard of you?
[giggles loudly]
I adore you!
I have followed you
since "DIY Your Locker."
Sparkles changed my life!
I am so sorry.
I thought you were
just some cheap Fan Con cosplay
imitating wannabe. [giggles]
I am a Leanna Lifer!
Okay.
[types]
All done. Mr. Burnout Superhero
TV Hack is out.
Kev is in.
Thank you. Lifers for life.
Wait. Selfie!
[camera snaps]
[both] If there is no picture,
did it really happen?
[clerk squeals]
[theme music plays]
♪
♪
[Shapeshifter] Good. You're
getting your strength back.
After my father,
what did you do?
Traveled from city to city.
One week here, two weeks there.
It was a life on the run.
We couldn't stay with my kind.
They shunned me
for marrying a human.
Wow.
Just you and me,
a baby. Alone.
It was dangerous.
Mythics weren't as open towards
Blendeds as they are now.
Adoption was the only way
I could keep you safe.
And Tristan?
Ah.
You came of age,
and I needed to know about you,
who you were.
What better way than to have you
meet one of your own kind?
A Blended.
Cute one, too.
Cute? I haven't noticed.
[chuckles]
[Dylan] "A Vampling called
Carmela
will bring humans and Mythics
together in
peace."
It was wrong.
The Goblin had it wrong.
Carmie's not evil. I knew it.
Ah, still too early
to tell, boy. Good, evil
who can tell which is which
these days, right?
I gotta go find Carmie.
She needs to know this, so
No. I I can't.
I can't. I I can't.
Put the goggles on.
If your daughter's here,
you'll see her.
But, what if she doesn't want to
see me?
What if she doesn't even
remember me? What What if
How great would it be
if everyone had someone
who could answer
their what ifs?
W-Where are you
[grunts]
Uh
Oh!
Leanna, I need to find
Carmie and Kev.
Carmie, who cares? Kev,
I just texted him to meet me
in the Green Room 855.
I got him the panel.
Yeah, I did that.
We need her.
The natural world order
could be altered, like, forever.
Stuff happens.
- I got Kev the big room.
- Mm-hmm.
And I need to get
his head straight,
and I can't have you or anyone
messing with it.
I'm launching an icon!
- [Aiden] Hey, Leanna.
- Dylan.
They wanted to show support
for Kev.
No. We wanted to get selfies
with Meat Man! [giggles]
- So, what's his new comic about?
- I think it might be about me.
- Why you when it could be me?
- Uh, where is Kev?
Unavailable. I got him
the big room, 5A.
You should go line up.
It's SRO.
That's manager talk
for "standing room only."
Sorry. Have to run.
[people chatter quietly]
Oh. Mm Uh, uh
[Carmie] You're getting weaker.
What's happening to you?
You gave your life to save me?
You are the prophecy, not me.
Tristan will use your friends
to get to you.
You must get them out of here.
But I can't leave you.
You must. Go!
Now!
[Tristan] Merpeople had
the seas.
- [Kev grunts]
- Goblins, harbours and rivers,
and Vampires
protected us at night.
Then humans showed up,
saw our powers,
and became afraid.
Humans don't trust
what they don't understand.
I trust Carmie.
She is weak,
raised too far
from her own kind.
She doesn't see how humans
look at us with contempt.
We're freaks, abnormal
in their eyes,
but the truth is, you
- [Kev yelps]
- are the ones to be afraid of.
If the prophecy is fulfilled,
all Blendeds
will eventually be gone
and only true
- [Kev groans]
- Mythics will remain,
just like it was
in the beginning.
Hey, who let you in?
No fans backstage.
Pay $20 to get take picture
like everyone else.
Leanna!
[chuckles] Cute look, cos-boy.
Now, leave!
[grunts]
♪
This ends now.
Ah!
[thuds]
Why are you doing this?
I thought you liked Carmie.
Like? Need.
She is the prophecy.
Blendeds and Mythics would've
followed her to end
the human era,
but the Shapeshifter lied!
She wants to use Carmie
for peace.
I want war,
and you are my hostages!
[Dylan grunts]
[people chatter quietly]
Oh.
[hissing]
Sir?
[clears throat]
Go away, please.
I don't deserve
human companionship.
Good. I'm not human.
I'm undecided.
Well, I can't help you there,
kid.
I'm not one who's made
many good decisions.
Well, I heard we learn more
from our mistakes
than our successes.
♪
I think you might be
my father.
I've been looking for you.
♪
- Tristan!
- Hey, Vampling. Where you been?
Have you seen Tristan?
No, but good riddance.
That guy is intense.
Bad vibes.
I need to find him.
He might hurt my friends.
Give me a second.
Whoa. Are you really going
to yell for Tristan?
You might destroy
this entire place.
I said one of my powers
is my voice.
The other is my hearing.
[voices overlapping]
[Aiden] I don't want
to go see Kev!
[Collector] Tell me
about your life.
[voices overlapping]
[Tristan] find her,
I'm going to kill her!
Found him. Tristan.
He says
he's going to kill somebody.
Kev?
Warrior Fairies are powerful.
You'll need help.
You guys like humans?
- We love humans.
- Some. Most I like,
but there are a few
I can't stand.
But in general,
we're good with humans.
Then follow me,
and let's go save some humans
from this Warrior Fairy!
[Shapeshifter] These humans
are living in a fantasy world.
- Selfie?
- [Aiden] Yeah, selfie.
- Your costume is fabulous.
- Yeah. Sorry.
The kids have been trying to get
as many pictures
as they can with cosplayers.
Great costume.
- Uh
- Everybody in!
[camera snaps]
Yeah, and look at the eyes.
Wow. Look-it.
It's a great look.
Uh, who are you?
I'm the queen
of 5,000 years of nights.
[parents chuckle]
Great sense of humour.
So, you're cosplaying
the Shapeshifter?
Love the commitment.
The red contacts? A true player.
[Bill] Who's the Shapeshifter?
A minor character
in the Mythic series.
Minor?
[crackles]
[Jayden] Nice!
Your own special effects!
- [grunts, crackles]
- [Aasha] Oh!
- Oh, whoa!
- My! Oh!
You're not feeling well.
Well, it's no surprise,
walking around in this costume
in this heat all day.
Hey, you know what?
We'll get you some water.
- Come on, kids.
- [twins] Water!
Ugh. You got any kids?
[all grunt]
Really? [scoffs]
This is your new one?
Ah. [chuckles]
The Prophecy has arrived.
So, are you going to help me
end humans?
Or do I have to end you?
Me and my friends have decided
that it's you who needs to end.
Leave them alone, Tristan.
They have nothing to do with us.
[Leanna] They're an us?
How did I not know this?
- Not important now!
- Okay.
We don't need to defeat
the humans.
We can live with them.
Why?
Thousands of years living
in the shadows
is suddenly going to change?
They hate us
'cause we're different!
Not all! Kev, Dylan, Leanna
[Dylan grunts]
I cared for you.
Then stay with me!
Do you have any idea
how powerful you could be
if you turn Mythic?
Together, we can become rulers
of a new and better world,
without them!
We don't have to! We can make
a world and live with them!
♪
You have chosen.
[Dylan grunts]
♪
[Carmie screams]
[thuds]
- [Kev] Carmie!
- [Leanna] Don't hurt her!
[Tristan grunts]
♪
[Tristan yelps]
[crashes]
[Carmie, Tristan shout]
[both grunt]
With you gone,
I will claim the prophecy.
No!
[both grunt]
[Kev grunts]
[Kev] Ah! [whimpers]
[emits high-pitched scream]
[Kev, Leanna, Dylan groan]
[scream continues]
[Tristan grunts in pain]
[Tristian] Ah!
Carmie, you will never
see 16!
[echoes]
My hero!
Good job, humans.
Yeah. You Blendeds
are pretty great, also.
What happened to Cute Boy?
And why can Carmie fly
across the room?
It's a long story.
- [phone chimes]
- Oh.
House is packed. Open in five.
Okay. Freak zone over.
Um, I need to get my guy ready,
and you guys need to leave.
Now! Let's go! Go!
Hey, you can tell me if your new
comic book stars a hunter.
You know, like me?
Out!
♪
Carmie!
Mom, Dad. Mom?
Why are those two
dressed like you?
Not even.
We're Carmelas.
She's Carmie.
See? I knew it.
Kev's Carmela is based on me.
This is our daughter
that I was telling you about.
Carmie.
Carmie, this is
our new friend, uh
Shapeshifter.
She stays in character.
- Respect!
- [man] Whoo! It's Meat Man!
- Meat Man!
- Meat Man!
Meat Man.
Meat Man.
[people shout indistinctly]
[hisses]
I spoke with Mom.
She knows you found me?
Yes. I asked her
if I could live with you.
What?
I have another year
before I have to choose,
and I thought maybe I could
spend it with you, my dad.
- Really?
- Yes. She said okay,
but she's coming to stay
with us a while.
Check it out.
Oh, Jewel, your mother
Dad, she's not mad at you.
- Uh
- Anymore.
Besides, I'm kind of loving
the idea.
Are you ready
to have a family?
[chuckles] A family.
♪
I know what you're thinking.
How? Can you also read minds?
[Shapeshifter laughs]
You will, too,
if you become a Mythic,
but you and only you
can make that choice, Carmela.
If the prophecy is true
and I'm the one to unite
Mythics and humans,
I have to choose Mythic.
You may have
already fulfilled it.
- [Dylan chuckles]
- Yeah.
[indistinct chatter]
Who knows what greatness
you will achieve
as a Mythic or human.
I just want to figure out
what I am.
Why? What we are
is already perfect.
Really?
I've been around 5,000 years,
and it has proven itself
over and over.
Being who we are,
not what you should be,
is the life
you're meant to live.
[Collector] Mm, mm, mm.
Collector, I I will find
your daughter.
Not to worry, my friend.
She found me.
Jewel?
This is Dylan.
Dylan, the greatest monster
hunter of all Helsings?
[chuckling]
Oh, well, yeah. Yes.
That that's what I say.
They say. You said.
My father's told me
all about you.
Uh could we join you?
Uh, yes. Yeah. Sure. Yeah.
Yeah.
♪
None of this the comic,
the panel, the fans
would have been possible
without me. [chuckles]
So you're welcome.
Leanna?
I know. I'm sorry.
I crossed a professional line.
Time to be great.
[chattering indistinctly]
He's a weird kid.
He hunts things, odd things.
Just like my father.
[crowd chatters indistinctly]
Nice costume,
but you forgot the fangs.
You didn't do your research.
- [hisses]
- [Aiden yelps]
She's scary!
I'm not sitting next to her.
Hi.
You have raised Carmela well.
I thank you.
Thank us?
For what?
Mom, Dad
meet my birth mother.
♪
I knew
it would happen one day.
[Carmie] It doesn't matter.
I have a family
who will never give me up,
never let me down,
and who's never going
to desert me.
Did you know
I created the Rick roll?
[Aiden] Wait.
We have another mom?
Awesome! Selfie!
[camera snaps]
- [Leanna] Comic fans and stans
- [people cheering]
cosplayers young and old,
welcome Kev, just Kev.
[crowd applauds, cheers]
[chanting]
Kev! Kev! Kev! Kev!
Go! Go!
[crowd]
Kev! Kev! Kev! Kev!
[cheering, applauding]
Thank you all for supporting
my first comic book series,
Carmela: I Don't Bite Yet!
[cheering]
That is so me.
I don't see it.
My new comic is the story
of an athlete
[crowd murmurs]
whose dreams get interrupted
when she finds herself
stuck in the center
of a mystery
modern day witch trial.
[crowd murmurs excitedly,
[applauds]
I like witch trials.
It's definitely me. I knew it!
And she has powers!
[crowd cheers, applauds]
I knew it! It's about me!
Athlete by day, mystery solver
and terror of the town by night.
- [crowd cheers, applauds]
- May I introduce Cheer Wolf!
[crowd cheers, applauds]
[growls]
[whimpers] It's her?
[growls]
Madison?
Whoa. It's perfect.
[growls]
You know, I captured her once.
[hip hop music playing]
Wait to take my shot ♪
Wait to take ♪
Wait to take my shot ♪
Wait to take ♪
Wait to take my shot ♪
Wait to take ♪
[roars]
[crowd cheers, applauds]
Good job, Kev.
They love it. [chuckles]
I knew it!
[shouting]
Kid's got a hit.
And we will sell it exclusively
at Hammer and Tong!
That's right.
[chimes repeatedly]
[cheers, applause continues]
They love me!
Leanna Lifers for life!
[cheers, applause continues]
Perfect.
♪
Yeah!
♪
Who knew ninth grade would be
so much fun?
Fun? Are you losing
your memory already?
It was terrifying.
[Dylan] Yeah.
I got to agree with Kev.
Totally insane year.
Well, you're both right,
but I wouldn't change this
for anything.
♪
I can't wait to see
what happens next.
♪