iCarly s02e08 Episode Script

Hey.
What are you guys doing? Getting ready to play cupcake slam.
Ooh, I wanna play.
Well, then hurry, grab a cupcake.
What's the bet? Loser has to drink pickle juice.
Ew, I don't wanna drink pickle juice.
Well then, you better throw that cupcake hard and hope it's sticky.
That's not something you hear every day.
Okay.
In five, four, three, two-- cupcakes.
You got this.
It's all you.
Oh my God.
It's all you.
You got everything.
Please go down.
You make me proud, boy.
You got it.
It's all you.
It's all you.
You are-- oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, baby.
Uh-huh.
Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh.
Oh, yeah.
Okay, Sam.
You thirsty? Oh.
That guy Jeffrey is on his way up.
Who's Jeffrey? You know, the one who e-mailed us about all the-- guess what just happened.
Your bellybutton started talking to you.
No.
But that would be so cool.
What happened? What's my favorite movie in the world? "Galaxy wars.
" I know.
Look at this.
A proton cruiser? No, my proton cruiser.
I just bought it.
It was actually used in the actual filming of "galaxy wars.
" In the battle of Panthatar? And the rescue of the horklops from the planet Jooveron! Shut up.
How can I? Ziz-kwaja! Wow.
I feel like I'm watching a DVD of "dorks gone wild.
" Hi.
Hey, I'm Jeffrey Flanken.
Yeah, come on in.
Hi.
Hey.
This is Jeffrey, the guy whose father owns Flanken motors.
Oh, right.
Your dad wants to set up some kind of contest on iCarly? Yeah.
I mean, if you guys are into it.
Look at my spaceship.
It's nice.
Well, let's go up to our studio and talk.
Cool.
In five, four, three, two-- I know you see somehow the world will change for me and be so wonderful live life, breathe air I know somehow were gonna get there and feel so wonderful it's all for real I'm telling you just how I feel so, wake-up the members of my nation it's your time to be there's no chance unless you take one take the time to see the brighter side of every situation some things are meant to be so give your best Wait.
So, your dad wants to just give away a brand-new car? Yeah.
I mean, he does it once every few years.
It's great publicity for his dealership.
Cool.
So, what kind of contest? How about guess the number of zits on Freddie's butt? Wow.
That's really gross.
No.
See, my dad wants the contest to be a brain Buster.
You know, something you really got to figure out.
Oh, like how many of Sam's relatives are on parole? Hey, don't go banging on my aunt Maggie, cousin Garth, and Uncle Morris, all right? We're having a meeting.
So, we challenge our viewers to figure out the brain Buster, and then the first person who sends in the right answer wins the car? Yup.
Love it.
It'll get iCarly a lot of buzz.
Oh, yeah.
Isn't your Uncle buzz on parole too? Look Benson-- what, Sam? He was a nice guy.
What are you going to do? Stop it.
We'd love to do the give-away-a-car contest.
Awesome.
All right.
Here's the brain Buster.
A cowboy rides into town on Friday.
He stays in town for three days, then leaves on Friday.
How did he do it? I have no idea.
How did he do it? I am not allowed to tell you.
See, to keep the contest fair, my dad put the answer in this sealed envelope.
Here, why don't you lock this in your jewelry box.
My mom wanted a daughter, okay? And now, before we say goodnight-- it's time for an iCarly special contest.
Special contest special contest special contest okay.
Are you ready for this? We are gonna give away a new car-- a new car.
--From Flanken motors.
The best Flanken car dealership in Seattle.
And to win the new car, all you got to do is answer this brain Buster.
Mood lighting.
Mysterious music.
Okay.
Here's the brain Buster.
A cowboy rides into town on Friday.
He stays in town for three days, then leaves on Friday.
How'd he do it? Okay.
The first iCarly fan to tell us the correct answer wins a new car.
Just text us right here at iCarly.
Com.
And if you can't figure out how to text us-- --then call your doctor.
--'Cause you may be suffering from extreme stupidity.
Together, we can find a cure.
Uh-huh.
Oh, yeah.
Uh-oh.
This is commander Spencer.
What is the nature of your emergency? A fleet of red skynauts has invaded the Alpha quadrant.
Seriously? Seriously.
I will intercept and destroy the enemy.
Oh God, thank you.
Shh.
Switching to hyperdrive.
Enemy ships within range.
Engaging.
Proton lasers set to maximosity.
I'm going in hot.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Did I damage your ship? Well, here.
Let me put it out of its misery.
Hey, it's me.
Ah, teenage boy off the port bow.
Whoa.
You got it.
Yes.
I did get it.
And now it's mine, and the galaxy is safe.
Hey.
I thought you said this is one of the actual proton cruisers used to film "galaxy wars.
" It is.
No, it's not.
Yeah, it is.
No, it's not.
Okay.
And you're lying.
What makes you lie? I'm not lying.
Yeah, you are.
Feel like a big boy telling your big boy lies.
Spencer.
Yes, little Larry lies-a-lot? The proton cruisers in "galaxy wars" had twin exhaust ports up front.
This one only has one.
Well-- and the neutronium blast plate is supposed to be octagonal.
That one's round.
But how can-- and look.
Here is a sticker that says, "not an actual prop from the movie 'galaxy wars.
'" okay.
Well, that can mean anything.
No.
It means this is just a replica.
But I paid for a real proton cruiser from "galaxy wars.
" Awwww! Sorry, Spence.
I got to go rehearse iCarly.
And then, the monster rose up out of the coffin and bit the man's head off.
That was so scary.
How about a hand for George, the bra who tells ghost stories.
Whoo.
Yeah.
I hope you're ready 'cause the time has come.
The time has come.
If you have a hat, you better hang on to it 'cause we're about to give away a brand-new car.
Courtesy of Flanken motors.
You all know the brain Buster.
Which Carly will now repeat.
A cowboy rides into town on Friday.
He stays in town for three days, then leaves on Friday.
How did he do it? How did he do it? Let us check the envelope.
Oh.
I get it.
His horse's name was Friday.
His horse's name was Friday.
Random dancing.
Okay.
A lot of you guys guessed the right answer.
But only one of you guessed it first.
And that lucky winner's screen name is trickster 206.
Wooo! And now, Freddie will connect us to the winner via video chat.
You just love saying via.
Yeah.
All right, we're connected.
Hey, trickster 206.
Guess what you've won? Would it be a new car? Nevel? That's right, Carly Shay.
I've won the car, and you have to give it to me.
Isn't this delicious? Oh, I just feel like spinning in a celebratory fashion.
Weeee! Weeee! Weeee! Weeee! Weeee! I wonder what kind of car they're gonna give us.
You mean, give Nevel.
I can't believe that nub won our contest.
Hey.
Excuse me.
We're looking for the owner? Well, stop looking.
Don Flanken.
What kind of car can I put you in? We're from iCarly.
Yeah? Well, I'm from Wisconsin.
So what kind of car you're looking for? Something sporty, something functional, something spunctional-- look at me, I'm making up words.
That's how much I care about putting you in the right car.
Now-- can you stop talking for two seconds? We're not here to buy a car.
We came to get-- hey, sir.
Dude, get back here.
Look, I don't have time for games.
We're not playing games.
We gave away one of your cars on our Web show.
Well, who in blazes told you to do that? Your son.
He set up a contest.
I don't have a son, just two daughters.
You don't have a son? No--well, my oldest daughter Jessica, she's a little manish but I wouldn't say she's-- here he is.
Hello, iCarly people.
Where's my car? We're getting it.
We may not be getting it.
What? This nutloaf says he doesn't know anything about our contest.
What? Be quiet.
Make me.
All right.
I don't have time for this.
I gotta take my daughter to a special doctor.
Wait.
Well.
iCarly ran an online contest.
I entered and I won a car.
And if you don't give me one, I'm going to report you to the LCC for fraud-- ooh.
--And have iCarly shut down.
Ooh.
The.
Done.
All right.
Thanks a lot, guys.
And, here you go.
You're light.
Light? You owe us 300.
Yeah.
But you said you'd move my spaceship to storage for a hundred bucks--100.
Plus 200 to bring the couch back.
Yeah.
Okay, wait.
A hundred to move out a huge proton cruiser spaceship and 200 just to bring back this tiny little couch? Hey, I had to miss my book club for this.
We were gonna discuss the sisters who had magic pants.
You owe us 200 more.
I don't have 200 more.
Hey, guys, you don't need to take the couch away.
It's already here.
N.
I need that.
This is just creating more work.
That's my sittin' couch.
At the of the book, they find out the pants aren't magic and the middle sister dies.
And on your Web show, you said all you gotta do is answer this brain Buster, and I was the first person to send in the correct answer to iCarly.
com.
And then-- we know what happened! We're not saying you didn't win the car.
Then where is it? I don't see a car.
All I hear is a lot prattle, and I-- hey.
Oh, come on.
Get it off me.
Oh, you'll get it.
Get up.
Get up.
Come on.
Don't-- stop.
Now where is my car? Do you not understand that there's been some kind of mix up? Well, let me read you this.
According to section 9 of the Internet legislation act, "any website "that engages in fraud "will be subject to immediate termination.
" That means either you give me a car or it's bye-bye iCarly.
If you'll just give us a couple of days to get-- wait a minute.
Why do you have that printed out? Because I like to print things.
No, you'd only print that out if you knew you were gonna need it.
Yeah.
How did you know there was gonna be a problem getting you the car? Oh, please.
I don't have time to be interviewed.
You set this whole thing up.
That Jeffrey guy or whatever his real name is, you sent him to us, didn't you? Oh, I don't know.
I send a lot of guys a lot of places.
You evil, evil little elf.
You can't prove anything, but I can prove that you owe me a car and I better get it or you'll rue this day.
Rue it! You'll get your car.
When? Soon.
You have 48 hours, iCarly.
Tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock.
Hi.
Hey.
What are you doing? I'm drinking root beer, playing Jacks.
Jacks? I'm up to foursies-- threesies.
Where'd your proton cruiser go? I paid some mean movers to take it to storage.
How come? 'Cause it wasn't actually used in galaxy wars, so I don't wanna look at it.
Okay, so where's our couch? You know, there's more to life than couches, okay? What? I don't know.
How'd Nevel like his car? There is no car.
What do you mean, no car? Nevel set the whole thing up.
And if we don't get him a car, he's gonna go to the LCC, claim fraud, and get iCarly shut down.
Well, okay.
So get the little tug munch a car.
We can't afford to buy Nevel a car.
Maybe you can.
My buddy Socko's got an uncle you sells used ones.
I bet he can find you a car and super cheap.
Okay.
What's his name? Otto.
Of course, it is.
Are you ready, Nevel? Yes, my heart is pounding.
Good.
Maybe it'll explode.
I didn't come here to be insulted.
You don't even have a car for me, do you? Oh, yes, we do.
One-- two-- yank.
Whoa.
Oh, wow.
What is that poop? It's your new car.
That car is not new.
It's new to you.
I suspected as much.
I figured you iCarlys would try and pull a fast one.
Who still says "pull a fast one"? Mr.
bullock.
Mr.
bullock.
Over here, sir.
Look.
Look at the automotive abomination that these people are trying to foist upon me.
Well, I won't have it.
I simply won't.
Sir, our contest promised the winner a car.
And that is a car.
Actually, I reviewed your Webcast.
You promised the winner a new car and, well, this is poo.
Oh, comon.
Read them the rules.
The LCC defines a new car as, "a unique vehicle that's "never been state registered "and can travel "under it's own power "at the speed of a least 25 miles per hour.
" But come on.
Can't you give us a break? I can give you another if you don't give Mr.
Papperman a new car, the LCC will shut down iCarly.
Sorry.
Thank you, Mr.
bullock.
Winner says "ha-ha.
" What's wrong with you, Nevel? Why is your lifelong dream to get rid of iCarly? It's not.
My lifelong dream is to open my own haberdashery.
What is a haberdashery? Oh, why does everyone ask that? A haberdashery is a men's retail shop that sells men's accessories such as wallets, hats, buttons, belts, ribbons, and zippers.
What's up, Sam? Where's Carly? I've been calling and texting her for hours.
Uh, she's been in the shower.
All day? Pretty much.
She takes really long showers when she gets depressed.
Well, when do you think she'll come out? I don't know.
She took a chair in there.
Carly, get out of the shower! No.
Hey, you got your couch.
Yup.
I thought those mover guys wanted They did, but Socko's cousin only charged me 50 bucks to steal it back.
Thanks, Rob.
So, you really think Nevel's gonna have the LCC shut down iCarly? Yup, unless we can come u with a unique vehicle that's never been state registered and can travel under its own power at the speed of at least 25 miles per hour.
By when tomorrow.
I know that look.
That's your thinking look.
Oh, I'm thinking.
You thinking? Yeah, I'm thinking we think of the same thing? We are if we're thinking about a way to give Nevel a vehicle that's never been state registered and can go 25 miles an hour.
Oh, no.
I was thinking about fried chicken.
These are good.
What is this? Pineapple? Mango? Maybe.
Well, it could be-- will you two shut up.
I'm about to rid the Internet of iCarly forever and you're bumming my joy.
Hey, Nevel, lookie.
Here you go, Nevel.
Congratulations, winner.
What, and you think that rolling space turd will get iCarly off the hook? Yeah.
We think it will.
Carly, would you say that this vehicle is unique? Oh, it is clearly unique.
Freddie, has it ever been state registered? Why, no, Carly.
It hasn't.
Mr.
Bullock? If it can travel at the speed of at least 25 miles per hour, it technically qualifies as a new car.
Well, let's just see.
Let's just see if this thing can do 25.
Okay.
Do you think he hit 25 miles an hour? Oh, yeah.
You can't do that kind of damage to a flower shop unless you're doing at least 25.
Where'd you guys get those ice-pops? Over there.