Inside Comedy (2012) s02e08 Episode Script

[music.]
- SO THIS-- WE'RE IN THE FRIAR'S CLUB.
- YES.
- SO--BUT IN OUR FRIAR'S CLUB, IT WOULD BE DIFFERENT COMEDIANS ON THE WALL BECAUSE WE-- WE ARE CANADIAN.
- YES.
CANADIAN FRIAR'S CLUB.
YES.
- WE WOULD HAVE, UH-- WAYNE AND SHUSTER WOULD HAVE A BIG WALL.
- YES.
- YOU KNOW, WHO ELSE WOULD HAVE A BIG WALL? OF COURSE, WE WERE TALKING ABOUT GEORGE-- - WHAT A SAD WAY TO GET A COMPLIMENT - [laughing.]
OH, NO! - DAVID STEINBERG OF WINNIPEG, MANITOBA.
YES, DAVID STEINBERG WOULD BE ON THE WALL.
I GET IT.
I DID A PROJECT ON YOU IN GRADE EIGHT.
YOU'RE AWESOME.
FANTASTIC.
WHAT A GREAT SETUP FOR YOUR OWN COMPLIMENT.
- SO WHAT WAS YOUR LIFE LIKE GROWING UP IN CANADA? - I GREW UP IN A VERY, VERY STRANGE HOUSE WHERE MY DAD WOULD DO CATCHPHRASES FROM A RADIO SHOW FROM ANOTHER COUNTRY FROM ANOTHER TIME.
AND HE WOULD LAUGH AND LOOK AT US LIKE AS IF WE'RE IDIOTS, THE CANADIANS IN THE BACK SEAT OF THE CAR.
HE GOES, "YOU DON'T KNOW THE GOONS?" IT'S LIKE, "NO! "I'M 11 YEARS OLD AND I LIVE IN TORONTO.
I'M NOT FROM LIVERPOOL, LIMEY FREAK.
" HE ALSO HATED MY ACCENT, MY DAD.
- BECAUSE IT WAS CANADIAN.
- CANADIAN.
- SO I WOULD SAY--YOU KNOW, I'M IN CANADA, MIND YOU-- AND I WOULD SAY, "CAN YOU PASS THE SAUCE?" AND HE'D GO, "'SAHCE.
SAHCE.
'" HE GOES, [British accent.]
"MISSUS, CAN YOU BELIEVE HIS BLOODY ACCENT? 'SAHCE.
'" AND I GO, "YOU'RE THE FREAK, DUDE.
"YOU'RE THE ONE THAT SOUNDS LIKE THE BEATLES, NOT ME.
" - BUT HE HAD LIKE THE SORT OF-- WAS IT SCOTTISH? - [British accent.]
LIVERPOOL.
- LIVERPOOL.
- YEAH, SINGSONGY, UP AND DOWN LIKE THAT.
ALWAYS SEEMS LIKE HE'S STARTLED, BUT HE'S NOT REALLY.
"I JUST WOKE UP.
I'M DEAD TIRED ACTUALLY.
"JUST HAD A NAP.
"I'VE ACTUALLY JUST HAD SOME COUGH SYRUP, BUT I'M DEAD EXCITED ALL THE TIME.
" [high-pitched.]
SEEMS TO GO UP AND UP HIGHER AND HIGHER.
[low-pitched.]
THEN IT'S YOUR TURN.
[normal voice.]
THAT'S HOW HE TALKS.
[high-pitched.]
GOES HIGHER AND HIGHER AND HIGHER, HIGHER.
[low-pitched.]
NOW IT'S YOUR TURN.
- HE HAD A CATCHPHRASE.
- THAT WAS HIS CATCHPHRASE.
- "NOW IT'S YOUR TURN.
" - HIS OTHER CATCHPHRASE WAS "MICHAEL, YOU'RE NOT GOOD ENOUGH.
" WHICH IS A LITTLE SAD.
NO, HE WAS VERY SUPPORTIVE.
I JUST WANTED TO ADD A LITTLE DRAMA.
- YEAH.
WHO CAUGHT YOU WHEN YOU WERE A KID IN CANADA? WHO--WHO WAS IT THAT YOU SAID, "I LIKE-- I WANNA BE LIKE THAT.
I COULD DO MY OWN VERSION OF THAT.
" - I THINK, UM-- I REMEMBER BEING VERY, VERY-- WELL, I MEAN, I'M BEING SERIOUS.
I'M PROUD TO SEE YOU ON THE TONIGHT SHOW.
AND IT WOULD BE LIKE, "OH, WOW!" BUT WHO I-- I DID LOVE WAYNE AND SHUSTER.
I WAS VERY PROUD THAT LORNE MICHAELS WAS FROM CANADA AND DAN AYKROYD.
AND I DIDN'T REALIZE GILDA RADNER WAS FROM DETROIT.
I ALWAYS THOUGHT SHE WAS CANADIAN, BUT SHE WORKED IN CANADA A LOT.
SHE PLAYED MY MOTHER IN A TV COMMERCIAL WHEN I WAS A KID.
- SO YOU WERE PERFORMING AS A KID? - I STARTED PERFORMING WHEN I WAS EIGHT YEARS OLD.
- WHAT WAS THE COMMERCIAL? - IT WAS FOR BRITISH COLUMBIA HYDRO, WHICH IS WHAT THEY CALL THE ELECTRIC COMPANY.
- YES.
THE HYDRO.
- HYDROELECTRICITY.
- RIGHT.
- AND THEN I DID ONE FOR DATSUN 610.
- SO AS A KID, YOU WERE ALREADY PERFORMING.
- YES.
- THAT'S PRETTY COOL.
- I SPOKE TO MY DAD, AND I SAID, "YOU KNOW, I THINK I MIGHT WANNA BE AN ARCHITECT.
" AND HE'D GO, "WHY WOULD YOU WANNA DO THAT FOR? WHY WOULDN'T YOU WANNA BE AN ACTOR?" I'M THE ONLY PERFORMER I KNOW WHOSE DAD WAS LIKE, "OH, NO.
JUST BE AN ACTOR.
" - REALLY? - YEAH, SERIOUSLY.
- THAT'S SO INTERESTING.
- UM-- - SO HE MUST'VE HAD SOME FEELING ABOUT THAT FOR HIMSELF IN SOME WAY.
- MY PARENTS MET IN AMATEUR DRAMATICS IN LIVERPOOL.
- OH.
- AND, UM THEY, UM, DID PLAYS TOGETHER.
UM, MY PARENTS WOULD SPONTANEOUSLY DO SKETCHES WHEN PEOPLE WOULD COME OVER.
THEY HAD SKETCH-- THEY HAD PARTY PIECES.
- INCREDIBLE.
- AND THEY HAD SONGS.
IT WAS-- ONE SONG WAS [music.]
I'D GIVE THE WORLD TO START ALL OVER [music.]
BACK IN THE OLD ROUTINE AND WE'D BE LIKE, "WHO ARE THESE FREAKS?" BECAUSE THEY ALWAYS JUST SAID WEIRD THINGS LIKE-- MY DAD WOULD SAY, "HOW MUCH DID YOU PAY FOR THAT?" I'D SAY--I'D ALWAYS UNDERCUT IT BY 50%.
"UH, 25›.
" HE GOES, "THAT'S A SWIZZ.
" I'D GO, "WHAT'S A SWIZZ?" AND IT'S LIKE, "WELL, THEY BLOODY SAW YOU COMING.
" "WHAT DO YOU MEAN THEY SAW ME COMING?" "THEY PAID YOU UNDER THE LAMP.
" "WHAT ARE YOU EVEN TALKING ABOUT?" AND IT'S LIKE, "WELL, THEY CAME IN.
THEY SAID, 'LET THE DOG SEE THE RABBIT,' AND HERE WE ARE.
" "MY GOD, WHAT ARE YOU EVEN SAYING?" - METAPHORS THAT DON'T MAKE SENSE.
- JUST WEIRD! AND I JUST WAS LIKE-- I JUST MARVELED AT THAT.
AND SO ALL CULTURE AND ALL THINGS THAT ARE FOREIGN AND ODD HAVE STAYED WITH ME.
- THAT'S INTERESTING.
THAT-- - IT'S JUST-- - YEAH, THAT'S INTERESTING.
- I DON'T KNOW ANY OTHER WAY OTHER THAN TO JUST LIKE A DOG THAT'S HEARING A WEIRD SOUND.
- YEAH.
- THAT'S WHAT MY WHOLE LIFE HAS BEEN.
- SO WHAT WAS THE FIRST THING THAT YOU DID THAT GOT YOU IN? WHAT--WHAT GO YOU STARTED? - WELL, THE FIRST JOB I GOT WAS-- AS AN ACTOR, WAS, UM, DOING A PLAY OFF BROADWAY CALLED THE HOUSE OF BLUE LEAVES.
THIS JOHN GUARE PLAY.
- YEAH, JOHN GUARE.
- YEAH, AND SO I GOT THAT PART.
AND THAT WAS AFTER AUDITIONING FOR, LIKE--I THINK, LIKE, ALMOST THREE YEARS OF JUST AUDITIONING, NOT GETTING JOBS, GETTING A FEW CALLBACKS, BEING BAD, GOING TO ACTING CLASS AND JUST SORT OF HANG OUT.
TRYING TO FIND MY WAY.
TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHAT I WAS DOING.
- WERE YOU GOOD AT AUDITIONING OR-- - I WAS HORRIBLE AT AUDITIONING.
- HORRIBLE, YEAH.
- I WOULD GET--I WAS-- I GOT BETTER AT AUDITIONING BECAUSE I REALIZED THAT WAS THE ONLY WAY THAT I WAS GONNA EVER GET A JOB.
BUT I USED TO CHOKE A LOT.
- UH-HUH.
- I WOULD CHOKE ON THE CALLBACKS.
I CHOKED ON MY COUSIN VINNIE.
REMEMBER THE MOVIE MY COUSIN VINNIE? - YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.
- I HAD, LIKE, A FOURTH CALLBACK FOR THAT, BUT I REALLY-- - OH, REALLY? - YEAH.
- SO THE FIRST THREE TIMES YOU CAME BACK WAS GOOD.
- YEAH, WELL, YOU KNOW, THE PRESSURE GETS MORE AND MORE EVERY TIME YOU GO BACK.
- SURE.
- AND I--YEAH, AND I REMEMBER I JUST DID NOT-- YOU KNOW, I WOULD GET NERVOUS.
- RIGHT.
- I'D GET NERVOUS AND-- I STILL--YOU KNOW, AUDITIONING, I THINK, IT'S--EVEN AS A DIRECTOR, TO - YEAH.
- WATCH ACTORS, YOU'RE SO HAPPY WHEN YOU SEE SOMEBODY COME IN WHO REALLY JUST IS TOTALLY COMPETENT AND RELAXED.
BUT I EMPATHIZE WITH ALL THESE ACTORS WHO HAVE TO COME IN AND DO THAT, BECAUSE IT'S REALLY-- IT'S REALLY HARD.
AND IT DOESN'T REALLY NECESSARILY GIVE YOU THE BEST SENSE OF WHAT AN ACTOR DOES.
- NO, YOU CAN MISS A GREAT ACTOR BECAUSE THEY JUST AUDITION WRONG.
- YEAH, YEAH.
- RIGHT.
- I REMEMBER WHEN WE WERE DOING CABLE GUY AND OWEN WILSON CAME IN TO AUDITION.
AND JUDD APATOW WAS PRODUCING IT, AND I WAS DIRECTING IT.
AND OWEN CAME IN AND HE GAVE LIKE A-- KIND OF LIKE A SO-SO AUDITION.
BUT WE'D SEEN THIS SHORT FILM HE DID, BOTTLE ROCKET, WHICH THEN BECAME A FEATURE.
- YEAH.
- AND I REMEMBER LOOKING AT THAT AUDITION, GOING "WELL, YOU KNOW, IT WASN'T A GREAT AUDITION, BUT--" AND JUDD WAS LIKE, "YEAH, BUT THE GUY IS SO GOOD.
" I HAVE TO GIVE JUDD CREDIT FOR, LIKE, REALLY-- OBVIOUSLY, HE'S REALLY GREAT AT SPOTTING.
- YES, HE WAS WILLING TO GO WITH HIM EVEN THOUGH THE AUDITION WASN'T GOOD.
- YEAH.
- AND JUDD APATOW AND YOU HAVE A WONDERFUL, CREATIVE RELATIONSHIP.
- YEAH.
- WHERE DID THAT START? - UH, I MET JUDD IN-- I THINK IT WAS 1990 OR '91.
WE WERE--WE WERE IN LINE FOR AN ELVIS COSTELLO UNPLUGGED TAPING AT MTV.
AND WE KNEW ALL THE SAME PEOPLE.
HE WAS DOING STAND-UP COMEDY AT THE TIME, I HAD BEEN DEVELOPING THIS SHOW AT HBO-- A SKETCH SHOW.
AND WE JUST HIT IT OFF.
WE JUST ENDED UP WRITING THIS SKETCH SHOW TOGETHER.
- SO THE SKETCH SHOW WAS THE FIRST THING YOU DID TOGETHER.
AND THAT BECAME THE BEN STILLER SHOW.
- YEAH.
- AND THAT WAS THE FIRST SUCCESS FOR YOU.
AND IT'S A LEGENDARY SHOW.
- WELL-- - I MEAN, IT STARTED EVERYBODY.
- WE HAD A GOOD GROUP.
- YOURSELF INCLUDED.
- AND WE ALSO HAD NO IDEA WHAT WE WERE DOING, FOR SURE.
YOU KNOW, WE JUST WANTED TO DO SCTV.
- RIGHT.
- THAT WAS OUR THING, YOU KNOW.
WE LOVED SCTV.
- RIGHT.
- AND THAT TONE THAT THEY HAD.
YOU KNOW, AND WE JUST DID IT AND KIND OF WERE SO EXCITED TO BE DOING IT THAT EVEN WHEN WE GOT CANCELLED WE WEREN'T REALLY THAT BUMMED.
- 'CAUSE YOU DID IT.
- YEAH, 'CAUSE WE DID IT.
AND ALSO THE JOURNEY OF JUST GETTING TO THE POINT WHERE WE COULD ACTUALLY GET ON THE AIR WAS SO LONG THAT, AT THAT POINT, IT WAS, LIKE, ALL RIGHT.
- I HOPE I CAN TALK THEM OUT OF DOING THAT HUMAN SACRIFICE.
I'M GETTING SICK ABOUT IT.
- HEY.
HEY.
- HI! - HI! - HOW YOU DOING? - HI! - YOU LOOK WONDERFUL.
- SORRY WE'RE LATE.
- OH, LOOK AT YOUR HAIR.
- THEY'RE DOING SOMETHING TO THAT MOAT OVER ON 80TH STREET.
THEY'RE ALWAYS WORKING ON THAT MOAT.
- YOU WANT SOMETHING TO DRINK? - FRANK AND I HAVE AN ANNOUNCEMENT TO MAKE.
- OH, WHAT--OH.
- WHAT, YOU DON'T WANT ME TO DO THIS NOW? - OH, GREAT.
- WHAT IS IT? - IT'S NO BIG DEAL.
- WELL, GO AHEAD.
- FRANK AND I ARE [sighs.]
SPLITTING UP.
- YOU'RE WHAT! - WHAT HAPPENED? DID SOMETHING HAPPEN? - EVERYTHING'S FINE.
IT'S FINE.
- YOU KNOW, WHEN FRANK AND JUDY SPLIT UP, I WAS--YOU KNOW, I WAS SHOCKED.
I-- [stammering.]
- WE WERE DEVASTATED.
I SAID TO HIM, "FRANK, WHAT ARE YOU THINKING? SHE WAS MADE FOR YOU.
" - LITERALLY.
[lively folk music.]
[music.]
- AUSTIN POWERS.
- YEAH.
- THAT IS-- COMES FROM YOUR FAMILY IN SOME WAYS.
- IT'S MY FUZZY MEMORY OF BEING FORCED TO WATCH BRITISH CULTURE.
- RIGHT.
- AND THEN COMING TO, OF COURSE, LOVE IT.
- YEAH.
- AND I DIDN'T RESEARCH ANYTHING FOR AUSTIN POWERS.
IT WAS ALL THE FUZZY MEMORIES.
SO FUZZY MEMORY FOR ME OF THE '60s WAS THAT SWEDEN WAS SEXY.
BEING A STEWARDESS WAS SEXY.
YOU KNOW, I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE STATISTICS OF SENSUALITY AND NATIONAL ORIGIN ARE.
- DID YOU KNOW WHAT YOU WERE GONNA LOOK LIKE? UH-- - I KNEW HE WAS GONNA HAVE BAD TEETH.
- [laughing.]
YES, THAT'S VERY-- AND LOST THEIR TEETH, YOU SEE.
- YES, THAT'S VERY-- - THEY ARE THE DENTALLY CHALLENGED.
- YES.
- AND, UH, YOU COULD BE AN UNBELIEVABLY GREAT CELEBRITY, EVEN AS RECENTLY AS DAVID BOWIE AND BE HAPPILY AND EASILY DESCRIBED AS SNAGGLETOOTHED.
- YES, SNAGGLETOOTHED - YES, BUT IN AMERICA, IT'S THIS PICKET FENCE - YEAH.
- OF TEETH.
- YEAH, SO YOU GAVE HIM BAD TEETH.
- YES, I GAVE HIM BAD TEETH.
- HILARIOUSLY.
- IT WAS THE FIRST THING I THOUGHT OF WAS, WELL, HE'S GONNA HAVE BAD TEETH.
BUT, YOU KNOW, THAT'S WHAT THAT WAS, YOU KNOW? THEN THE FUZZY MEMORY OF LAUGH-IN AND, YOU KNOW, ALL THAT STUFF.
AND JUST KIND OF MASHED IT ALL TOGETHER AND IT JUST CAME OUT.
I WROTE IT IN TWO WEEKS.
- REALLY? THE FIRST AUSTIN POWERS? - MY FATHER DIED IN 1991.
- MM-HMM.
- I WENT INTO A VERY, VERY-- I WENT INTO A FUNK.
THERE'S NO TWO WAYS ABOUT IT.
UM, AND WAYNE'S WORLD CAME OUT IN 1992.
AND I WAS STRAPPED TO THE FRONT OF A ROCKET, ANDI-- I WAS LIKE, DIDN'T I JUST USED TO LIVE IN GOVERNMENT HOUSING? HOW THE HELL DID I GET HERE? - RIGHT.
- AND ALL OF A SUDDEN, LIFE IS MOVING A MILLION MILES AN HOUR.
THE ONLY PERSON THAT I EVER WANTED TO SEE ANY OF IT HAD JUST DIED.
AND, UH, I WROTE TWO MOVIES-- ONE ABOUT THE BATTLE OF BRITAIN, WHICH MY MOM WAS IN THE BATTLE OF BRITAIN, AND ONE ABOUT EVERYTHING THAT MY FATHER LOVED.
AND IT JUST CAME OUT IN TWO WEEKS.
- AND THAT WAS AUSTIN POWERS.
- THAT WAS AUSTIN POWERS, YEAH.
- WOW.
AND DID YOU HAVE THE CHARACTER IN MIND? WELL, HE WAS SORT OF A JAMES BOND PARODY IN SOME WAY.
- WELL, IT'S A PARODY OF JAMES BOND PARODIES.
IT'S, UM-- GENE SISKEL HAD GIVEN ME A TREM-- IN THE REVIEW, A TREMENDOUS COMPLIMENT.
SAID THAT, "MIKE MYERS HAS MANAGED TO COME UP WITH "A BRAND-NEW FORM OF ENTERTAINMENT, WHICH IS THE TRIBUTE MOVIE.
" IT'S NOT REALLY A PARODY.
AND IT WOULD BREAK ALL THE RULES OF PARODY BECAUSE I WOULD BE PARODYING SOMETHING THAT NOBODY REALLY KIND OF REMEMBERED, WHICH IS THE JAMES BOND SPOOFS.
- YES.
- SO IT'S MORE LIKE MODESTY BLAISE, THE 10TH VICTIM.
- RIGHT.
- THAT, TO ME, WAS-- BRITISH CULTURE WAS THE SORT OF JAMES BOND, BUT AT THE SAME TIME, THE JAMES BOND KNOCK-OFFS, YOU KNOW, LIKE IN LIKE FLINT.
- WHAT'S INTERESTING, YOUR CHARACTERS ARE-- THERE'S A EUROPEAN THEME TO YOUR CHARACTERS.
- I THINK IT'S BEING THE SON OF IMMIGRANTS.
- YEAH, IMMIGRANTS.
- I'LL TELL YOU, WHEN I STARTED IN SECOND CITY, THERE WAS ONE OTHER PLACE DOWN THE STREET, AND IT WAS-- AROUND RUSH STREET.
IT WAS CALLED THE HAPPY MEDIUM.
- HAPPY MEDIUM.
- YEAH.
- MY PARENTS PLAYED THERE.
- THAT'S WHY I MENTIONED IT.
- I SAW YOUR PARENTS.
- OH, REALLY? - I SAW ANNE MEARA, JERRY STILLER.
I SAW THEM IN THE HAPPY MEDIUM SHOW.
- THAT'S--YEAH.
- I HAVE A FEELING THEY CAME TO SECOND CITY AS WELL.
- I BELIEVE THAT'S WHERE-- THE STORY IN OUR FAMILY IS THAT'S WHERE MY SISTER WAS CONCEIVED.
NOT AT THE CLUB, BUT IN CHICAGO.
- IN CHICAGO AT THAT TIME.
- AT THAT TIME.
- THEN THEY WERE ON THE ED SULLIVAN SHOW - YES.
- ENDLESSLY.
THEY WERE ON ALL THE TIME.
- YEAH.
- THE BIGGEST SHOW IN THE COUNTRY AT A TIME WHEN THERE WAS ONLY THREE NETWORKS, SO-- - YES.
NO, THE PRESSURE OF THAT-- I MEAN, THEY DID IT ABOUT, I THINK, 30-- SOMETHING LIKE 30 OR 31 TIMES.
- IS THAT RIGHT? - YEAH.
- WOW.
- AND EVERY TIME THAT YOU'D GO ON ED SULLIVAN, HE HAD TO INVITE YOU BACK, HE HAD TO LIKE YOU.
- LET'S GET A DIVORCE.
- BOY, NOTHING WOULD MAKE ME HAPPIER THAN A DIVORCE.
- WHAT A WASTE.
- WHEN I THINK OF THE CHANCES I HAD AND I TOOK YOU.
- WHAT? WHAT CHANCES DID YOU HAVE? - I HAD LOTS OF CHANCES.
- WHAT CHANCES DID YOU HAVE? - I HAD MANY SUITORS.
- CLOAK-AND-SUITERS.
THAT'S WHAT YOU HAD.
- OH, YOU'RE SMART.
- YOU-- - OH, YOU'RE IGNORANT.
YOU ARE, YOU MATZAH-HEAD.
WHAT DO YOU KNOW? - YOU TALK LIKE THAT TO ME, YOU? - YEAH.
- YOU SHALALI SHIKSA, YOU.
- WHAT! WHAT! WHAT DID YOU CALL ME? OH, YOU'RE SOMETHING, YOU ARE.
YOU BENSONHURST BLINTZ, YOU.
- THAT'S A LOW AND DIRTY REMARK AND YOU KNOW IT.
- YEAH, YEAH.
- YOU MASHUGANA MOTHER MACHREE, YOU.
- MASHUGANA WHAT? MASHUGANA WHAT? - YOU TALK LIKE THAT TO ME HERE? - OH, THAT DOES IT, BUDDY.
YOU RANG THE BELL WITH THAT ONE.
IT'S ALL OVER FOR YOU, YOU COCKAMAMIE KNISH.
- AND WHEN I LOOK BACK AT WHAT THEY WERE DOING, THE PRESSURE OF THAT AND THE CREATIVITY OF-- YOU KNOW, 'CAUSE THEY WERE ALSO TAKING FROM THEIR OWN LIVES - SURE, SURE.
- AND THIS IDEA OF BEING UM, YOU KNOW-- - IRISH CATHOLIC JEWISH, RIGHT? - YEAH, YEAH.
HE--MY DAD WAS JEWISH.
MY MOM WAS IRISH CATHOLIC.
- RIGHT.
- AND THAT MARRIAGE AND THE SORT OF THE-- YOU KNOW, THE CONFLUENCE OF THEIR TWO CULTURES WHICH, TODAY, IT'S JUST-- IT'S NOT-- YOU KNOW, IT'S A TOTALLY DIFFERENT WORLD.
- RIGHT.
- BUT BACK THEN, IT WAS A REAL ISSUE.
- YES.
- AND I THINK FOR THEM TO ACTUALLY TAKE THAT AND THEN PUT IT OUT THERE AND, YOU KNOW, AND FIND HUMOR IN THAT AREA WAS PRETTY-- YOU KNOW, THEY WERE TAKING CHANCES.
- NOW, WHAT WAS THAT LIKE FOR YOU AS A KID, SEEING THEM? - WE LOVED IT.
WE LOVED THE EXCITEMENT OF, YOU KNOW, GOING TO A NIGHT CLUB AND STAYING UP LATE AND GETTING TO HANG OUT IN THAT SORT OF ALL THAT JAZZ ROLE, YOU KNOW? - YEAH, YEAH.
- IT WAS, UH-- YOU KNOW, IT WAS-- IT WAS--FOR US, IT WAS JUST SORT OF-- WE WERE-- I THINK I WAS MORE INTERESTED IN THAT THAN GOING TO SCHOOL.
AND IT JUST SEEMED LIKE MUCH MORE FUN.
OF COURSE WE WEREN'T SEEING, YOU KNOW, THE OTHER SIDE OF IT.
- THE HARD--THE HARD WORK.
- YEAH.
- AND ALSO THE DOUBLE PRESSURE OF BEING MARRIED AND DOING THAT.
THAT'S REALLY-- - YEAH.
WELL, THAT'S-- I MEAN, YOU KNOW, BEING MARRIED MYSELF NOW, YOU KNOW, IT'S HARD TO IMAGINE - YEAH.
- HOW-- AND I'VE WORKED WITH MY WIFE.
WE'VE HAD A GREAT TIME DOING IT.
BUT, YOU KNOW, TO BASE YOUR SORT OF-- YOUR RELATIONSHIP AND YOUR WORK TOGETHER - ON YOUR RELATIONSHIP.
- ON YOUR RELATIONSHIP.
'CAUSE IF YOU'RE, YOU KNOW-- IF YOU'RE NOT GETTING ALONG - [laughing.]
- THAT COULD BE DIFFICULT.
- YEAH.
[lively folk music.]
[music.]
BUT WAYNE'S WORLD IS NOT AT ALL BRITISH IN ANY WAY.
- NO.
- AMERICAN CREATION.
- WAYNE'S WORLD IS GROWING UP IN THE SUBURBS OF TORONTO, THE SUBURB CALLED SCARBOROUGH.
- MM-HMM.
- THERE'S A LOT OF, UM, FACTORY CARPET OUTLETS, A LOT OF DOUGHNUT STORES, A LOT OF WHAT WE CALL HYDRO WIRES, WHICH ARE-- WHAT DO YOU GUYS CALL 'EM, POWER LINES? WELL, "YOU GUYS.
" YOU GUYS.
POWER LINES.
AND, UH, I SPENT A LOTTA TIME IN THE BASEMENT.
THERE WAS A LOT OF TEACHER STRIKES.
AND I SPENT A LOT OF TIME WITH MY BROTHERS, JUST MAKING UP GAMES AND PRETENDING WE WERE ON A TV SHOW AND STUFF.
- SO HOW DID YOU MAKE THE-- - I GOT HIRED FOR SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE, AND I DIDN'T DO IT FOR THE FIRST THREE SHOWS, 'CAUSE I WAS AFRAID THAT IF IT DIED I WOULDN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO ON THE SHOW.
- RIGHT, BUT YOU HAD IT-- YOU WANTED TO GET IT OUT THERE.
- I DID.
- YEAH.
- SO I WROTE IT ON THE FOURTH SHOW THAT I WAS ON.
I WAS VERY NERVOUS.
I HAND-WROTE IT ON A YELLOW LEGAL PAD, STAPLED IT TOGETHER, PUT IT ON THE READ-THROUGH PILE.
THERE'S A PILE.
ANOTHER WRITER CAME IN AND READ IT AND SAID, "THIS SUCKS," AND THREW IT ON THE TABLE AND LEFT.
AND I WAS DEVASTATED.
AND SOMETHING JUST REACHED BACK HERE, LIFTED ME, PUT ME 20 FEET OVER, AND I PICKED IT UP, AND I PUT IT ON THE PILE.
AND I WALKED HOME.
I COULDN'T AFFORD A CAB, YOU KNOW? WE GOT PAID $300 A SHOW.
- MM-HMM.
- UH, AND DID 22 SHOWS.
- NOT MUCH.
- YES.
AND 1,000 IF YOU GOT ON THE SHOW.
- UH-HUH.
- THEY WENT THROUGH READ-THROUGH THE NEXT DAY, AND IT HAD GOTTEN INTO THE PACK, BUT IT WAS THE LAST SKETCH.
BY THE LAST FEW SKETCHES, PEOPLE ARE LIKE, "AH, REALLY?" AND IT'S LIKE, "TWO MORE SKETCHES, EVERYONE.
" AND EVERYONE'S LIKE, "BOO!" AND MY SKETCH IS - THE LAST ONE.
- THE LAST OF THOSE TWO.
- RIGHT.
- SO DANA CARVEY LOOKED AT ME AND GAVE ME A "LET'S DO IT, DUDE" LOOK, WHICH WAS VERY, VERY GENEROUS OF HIM.
'CAUSE HE WAS VERY, VERY SUPPORTIVE--DANA.
AND HE SORT OF EXPLAINED THAT SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE IS A LITTLE BIT LIKE THE COURT OF THE BORGIAS AND TO NOT DRINK ANYTHING THAT ANYONE'S OFFERED TO YOU IS BASICALLY WHAT HE SAID.
AND SO I READ IT.
AND AGAIN, SOMETHING PULLED ME FROM SOMEWHERE AND I SOLD THE SHIT OUT OF IT.
AND IT BROUGHT THE HOUSE DOWN.
AND THEN IT GOT IN.
IT WAS THE LAST SKETCH OF THE SHOW.
AND THE CREW WHO HAVE ALWAYS BEEN UNBELIEVABLY SUPPORTIVE OF ME AT SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE, THEY WERE, ON THE WAY OUT, WERE SINGING THE WAYNE'S WORLD THEME AND WERE LIKE, "OH, I LOVE THAT SKETCH," AND LIKE, TOTALLY SUPPORTING.
AND ON THE MONDAY, MEMBERS OF THE CREW SAID, "YEAH, I WAS ON THE SUBWAY, AND PEOPLE WERE SINGING THE WAYNE'S WORLD THING AND TALKING ABOUT IT.
" AND THEN I JUST GOT TONS AND TONS OF MAIL.
AND IT JUST KIND OF BUILT FROM THERE.
- WHAT WAS IT LIKE WORKING WITH DANA CARVEY? - WE GELLED SO WELL, YOU KNOW.
HE TOOK ME ON TOUR WITH HIM.
- JUST THE TWO OF YOU ON STAGE TOGETHER? - WELL, I WAS HIS OPENING ACT.
- IT WAS--OH, OH.
- AND SO I CAME OUT AND I WOULD DO WAYNE'S WORLD.
AND THEN AT THE END OF THE SHOW, HE WOULD DO HIS SHOW, WHICH WAS MASTERFUL, MASTERFUL STAND-UP.
- IMPRESSIONS THAT HE COULD DO OF EVERYBODY.
- JUST EVERY--YOU KNOW, JUST A GREAT ENTERTAINER.
AND THEN AS AN ENCORE, WE WOULD COME OUT AND DO A WAYNE'S WORLD TOGETHER THAT WAS IMPROVISED, YOU KNOW.
SO HE WOULD DO, LIKE, "YOU KNOW, I THINK I'M GONNA HURL," OR SOMETHING.
I DON'T KNOW.
AND HE GOT A BIG, GIANT LAUGH.
YOU KNOW.
AND THEN HE'D TURN TO ME UNDER THE LAUGH AND SAY, "WHAT DO YOU WANT TO EAT TONIGHT?" ONSTAGE.
AND I'D BE LIKE - THEY'LL HEAR YOU! - "DON'T--DON'T TALK.
" "THEY CAN'T HEAR.
ANYWAYS, WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO? "DO YOU WANT TO EAT IN-- "I THINK THE RESTAURANT IN THE HOTEL LOOKS LIKE IT'S PRETTY GOOD.
" [laughter.]
I'M SAYING, "DON'T TALK TO ME, DUDE.
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?" AND THEN HE'D BE, LIKE-- [whooshes.]
BACK INTO THE SKETCH.
[hisses.]
- RIGHT.
- BIG LAUGH.
[imitates audience laughing.]
IT WAS LIKE IT WAS AN UMBRELLA, LIKE WE WERE UNDER A WAVE.
AND WE COULD JUST TALK, AND THEN HE'D BE LIKE, "YOU'RE GONNA WORK OUT TOMORROW? "'CAUSE THEY ACTUALLY HAVE A GYM, YOU KNOW.
'CAUSE THE THING I CAN'T STAND IS GETTING FAT ON TOUR.
" AND I'M, LIKE, "NO, NO, NO.
" - THAT'S HILARIOUS.
- AND I LEARNED SO MUCH IN THE SORT OF, "AHH" OF IT ALL, YOU KNOW? [lively folk music.]
[music.]
- DID YOU KNOW THAT YOU WANTED TO BE IN COMEDY AT THAT TIME? - I KNEW THAT I WANTED TO BE A DIRECTOR.
I ALWAYS LOVED MOVIES, AND I KNEW I WANTED FROM-- SINCE I WAS ABOUT I KNEW I WANTED TO BE A MOVIE DIRECTOR.
THAT WAS WHAT I LOVED.
I LOVED JAWS AND TOWERING INFERNO, AND YOU KNOW, GODFATHER AND ALL THOSE, YOU KNOW, ALL THESE MOVIES, LIKE, ALL OF THEM.
WHOLE RANGE OF--AND WATCHING.
THEN THE COMEDIES, I STARTED TO WATCH, LIKE, ALBERT BROOKS AND STEVE MARTIN AND PEOPLE LIKE THAT.
- RIGHT.
- GOT ME VERY, YOU KNOW, THAT WAS WHAT-- I KNEW THAT THAT WAS THE AREA I WANTED TO GO INTO.
I MEAN, I ALWAYS WANTED EVEN WHEN I WAS STARTING OUT DOING THESE--LIKE ON SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE, I GOT A JOB AS AN APPRENTICE WRITER THERE.
AND--BUT WHAT I ALWAYS WANTED TO DO-- AND I WAS ONLY ON FOR A SHORT TIME BECAUSE WHAT I REALLY WANTED TO DO WAS MAKE SHORT FILMS THERE.
- UH-UH.
- AND DO WHAT ALBERT BROOKS HAD DONE THERE.
- YEAH, ALBERT BROOKS AND MOVIES SEEM TO BE INFLUENCING ALL THE SKETCHES BECAUSE THE SKETCHES WERE LITTLE FILMS.
- YEAH.
- HELLO.
I'M ALBERT BROOKS.
AND I'M SPEAKING TO YOU ON BEHALF OF THE FAMOUS SCHOOL FOR COMEDIANS.
COME WITH ME IF YOU WILL AND LET'S HAVE A BRIEF LOOK AT THE SCHOOL.
I THINK YOU'LL LIKE WHAT YOU SEE.
FIRST TODAY, WE'LL VISIT COMEDY TAKE CLASS.
HERE, THE STUDENTS PRACTICE ALL KINDS OF TAKES.
THE DOUBLE TAKE, THE ELBOW TAKE, AND TODAY, THEY'RE WORKING ON THE SPIT TAKE, MADE SO FAMOUS BY DANNY THOMAS ON MAKE ROOM FOR DADDY.
REMEMBER WHEN DANNY WOULD BE DRINKING COFFEE? HIS AGENT, SID, WOULD COME IN WITH SOME SURPRISING NEWS.
[chuckles.]
DANNY WOULD SPIT THE COFFEE ALL OVER SID AND THE FURNITURE.
LET'S SEE HOW THESE KIDS ARE DOING.
- ALL RIGHT, NOW THAT WAS PRETTY GOOD.
BUT I'D LIKE TO TRY IT JUST ONE MORE TIME IN THE SAME WAY.
NOW REMEMBER, I JUST WALKED INTO THE ROOM.
NOW START TO DRINK.
GOOD.
NOW I SPEAK.
GUESS WHAT! I JUST HEARD FROM THE BANK AND NOT ONLY DON'T YOU HAVE ANY MONEY, BUT YOUR SISTER IS DEAD! [all spitting.]
THAT'S GOOD.
THAT'S MUCH BETTER.
EXCEPT AGAIN, CAROLE, YOU DIDN'T PUT THE LIQUID IN YOUR MOUTH.
AND YOU GARGLED INSTEAD OF SPIT.
- THAT WAS FUNNY.
- AND THEN, YOU KNOW, ZOOLANDER KNOCKED ME OUT.
THAT POSE-- THAT ZOOLANDER POSE.
THE STUPID POSE - YES.
- IT WAS PERFECTLY NARCISSISTIC AND-- - [laughs.]
- AND IT WAS JUST HILARIOUS.
WAS THAT FUN FOR YOU? - IT WAS GREAT.
I MEAN, IT WAS-- I WOULD SAY DRAKE SATHER WHO IS A REALLY GREAT STAND-UP COMEDIAN AND VERY, VERY FUNNY, CYNICAL GUY.
HE HAD COME UP WITH THESE SHORTS FOR THE VH1'S FASHION AWARDS.
AND SO HE WROTE THAT UP AND SAID, "HEY, WOULD YOU DO THIS MALE MODEL CHARACTER?" AND I WAS LIKE, "WHAT AM I GONNA DO?" HE'S LIKE, "WELL, BE, YOU KNOW, BE STUPID.
YOU'LL BE A MALE MODEL.
" AND THEN I--YOU KNOW, THE LOOK SORT OF JUST CAME OUT OF THIS LOOK THAT MY WIFE SAID I WOULD DO WHENEVER I, LIKE, BRUSH MY HAIR - [laughs.]
THAT'S THE LOOK.
YEAH.
- IN THE MIRROR.
"WHY DO YOU ALWAYS DO THAT MIRROR LOOK?" AND SO THEN--THAT WAS--SO THAT WAS WHY WE DID THE SHORTS, AND THEN WE MADE THE MOVIE AND THEN, YOU KNOW, IT WAS--IT WAS-- I DON'T THINK THE STUDIO KIND OF REALLY GOT WHAT WE WERE DOING AT THE TIME.
THEY WERE LIKE, "OKAY.
" THEY WEREN'T SUPER-- IT WASN'T LIKE-- IT DIDN'T REALLY GET A BIG SORT OF BUILD-UP.
- TROPIC THUNDER.
AH.
- MM-HMM.
- ANOTHER ONE THAT I JUST LOVED OF YOURS.
AND I THOUGHT THAT WAS SO BOLD IN EVERY WAY.
IN EVERY WAY.
ROBERT DOWNEY JR.
JUST KNOCKED ME OUT.
AND THE WHOLE--THE SATIRE OF THE MOVIE BUSINESS WAS SPOT-ON.
- YEAH, WELL, THAT'S-- I MEAN, TO ME, LIKE, THAT COMES OUT OF ALL THAT, YOU KNOW, ALBERT BROOKS STUFF AND THE SCTV STUFF, WHICH I'VE ALWAYS LOVED THAT HUMOR OF MAKING FUN OF SHOW BUSINESS, MAKING FUN OF ACTORS, MAKING FUN OF OURSELVES - RIGHT.
- AND HOW--THE RIDICULOUSNESS OF IT.
'CAUSE IT IS REALLY RIDICULOUS, THE LIFE OF AN ACTOR AND MAKING MOVIES AND HOW SERIOUSLY PEOPLE TAKE THEMSELVES.
- WE ALL TAKE THEM SERIOUSLY.
- YEAH.
- THE SPECIAL EFFECTS, ALL OF--THE INDULGENCE OF IT.
- YES.
WELL, IT'S INTERESTING BECAUSE WHEN I-- I REMEMBER GOING TO THE FIRST PREVIEW, YOU KNOW, TEST SCREENING FOR THE AUDIENCE, AND SEEING, YOU KNOW, ALL THESE THINGS WE BLEW UP AND YOU KNOW, BIG ACTION SEQUENCES.
LIKE, YOU KNOW, IT'S A COMEDY, ULTIMATELY.
AND ALL THE MONEY THAT YOU PUT INTO ALL THAT STUFF, IF PEOPLE AREN'T LAUGHING - IT DOESN'T MATTER.
- THEY DON'T CARE.
- YEAH, EXACTLY.
- THEY JUST DON'T CARE THAT YOU, LIKE, BLEW UP THAT BRIDGE.
IT WASN'T THAT COOL.
AND I LEARNED THAT ON THE FIRST PREVIEW.
I GUESS--SO WE'RE GONNA HAVE TO CUT OUT THAT, YOU KNOW, THAT GREAT TRUCK TRIPLE EXPLOSION THING.
- BUT YOU KNOW WHAT I LIKE ABOUT WHAT YOU DO IS THAT YOU'RE SO BOLD.
IT'S JUST OUT THERE.
YOU DON'T-- YOU PUT YOURSELF OUT THERE.
IF IT DOESN'T WORK, IT'S NOT GONNA WORK.
BUT IF IT WORKS, IT'S, LIKE-- - YEAH, I MEAN, I ALWAYS THINK IN RETROSPECT, IT SEEMS MORE BOLD THAN IN THE MOMENT.
I DON'T KNOW IF YOU'VE EVER HAD THAT WHERE YOU'RE, LIKE, WORKING ON AN IDEA.
"OH, THIS COULD BE FUNNY.
" - THAT'S RIGHT.
- AND THEN YOU JUST GET INVOLVED IN IT AND IT MAKES SENSE TO YOU WHEN YOU'RE DOING IT, AND THEN, YOU KNOW, IT'S LIKE CABLE GUY.
YOU LOOK AT IT, YOU KNOW, A WHILE LATER, YOU GO, "WHAT THE HELL WERE WE THINKING?" 'CAUSE IT LITERALLY ENDS WITH A GUY, LIKE, COMMITTING SUICIDE.
WE SHOULD HAVE JUST KILLED HIM.
THAT'S WHAT WE REALLY SHOULD HAVE DONE, BUT YOU KNOW, THERE ARE NOT ENOUGH COMEDIES THAT END WITH A SUICIDE ATTEMPT THESE DAYS.
YOU JUST DON'T SEE THAT ANYMORE.
- RIGHT.
THANKS SO MUCH FOR THIS, BEN.
I APPRECIATE IT.
- ALL RIGHT, MAN.
IT WAS GREAT TALKING TO YOU.
- YEAH, GREAT TALKING TO YOU.
THANKS.
[applause.]
- THANKS.
WOW.
- FABULOUS.
- [laughs.]
- IT WAS A GREAT INTERVIEW.
- COOL, THAT WAS FUN.
- YEAH.
- IT WAS SO EASY.
- LOVED TALKING TO YOU, MIKE.
- THANK YOU.
- ALWAYS.
YOU KNOW THAT.
[applause.]
[lively folk music.]
[music.]