Knight Rider (1982) s02e08 Episode Script
Custom K.I.T.T.
In recent months, there's been | a rash of car thefts.
The "bump-and-run" | is the latest technique.
Let's get out | of here! You wanted to steaI a car, and now you've stolen | the ride of your lives.
The Pennington | has been stolen, Michael.
Can Carrie's car make it? If it does, it will be | by the skin of its bumper.
There's my car! Knight Rider, a shadowy flight into the dangerous world | of a man who does not exist.
MichaeI Knight, a young loner on a crusade to champion | the cause of the innocent, the helpless, the powerless, in a world of criminals | who operate above the law.
Oh.
Uh-oh.
Is that all you can find | to say, madam? Oh, you're gonna be mad.
| Oh, don't be mad.
It's such | a beautiful day.
Nevertheless, this car you | so carelessly struck just happens to be | one of the very few Pennington Ascot Regencies | left in the world.
And it is not mine.
Oh, Bobby Jo's | just going to kill me.
I need identification.
I also need your insurance.
You are insured, | aren't you? Bobby Jo is.
| This is his car.
My purse, | it's in the front seat.
Would you, oh, please? I don't feel so good.
Oh, my God.
Devon sure looked great | in that blazer, didn't he? I had the distinct impression he was trying to impress | the car.
Can you blame him? The Pennington Ascot Regency | is a classic.
Not that you aren't | in its class.
Actually, KITT, you're in a class | all by yourself.
You're one of a kind.
Thank you.
Mmm-hmm.
Hello, Devon.
I thought you were out | joyriding in the Pennington.
The Pennington | has been stolen, MichaeI.
What? I'll explain later.
The point is Cdr.
Smythe | is due back here, early Monday morning.
Now, if he returns, and I | haven't got the Pennington- Say no more.
| I'll meet you at the semi.
Devon, are you sure | it was planned? Yes, it was | a professional job.
I wish I'd been rude and told | her to fetch her own purse.
A gentleman | to the very end.
All right, | what've you got? Well, in recent months, there's been a rash of | custom and classic car thefts.
The "bump-and-run" | is the latest technique.
Well, if that's all | we've got to go on, somebody's | in a lot of trouble.
Must you be so negative? Actually, it's not all | we've got to go on.
April? Well, I think we've come up | with a common denominator.
Everywhere | there's been a theft, there's also been a custom | car show not far away.
Makes a lot of sense.
| The shows attract cars.
The cars attract | potential buyers.
Which is precisely | the reason that you're going | to Barton Springs.
If they are planning | to sell the Pennington, this could very well | be the place.
The Barton Springs | Custom and Classic Car Show.
State your case | with black or white.
But when one little cross | leads to shots.
Grit your teeth.
You run for cover | so discreet.
Why don't they.
Do what they say, | say what you mean.
One thing leads to another.
You told me something wrong, | I know I listen too long.
But then | one thing leads to another.
The impression | that you sell.
Passes in and out | like a scent.
But the long face | that you see.
comes from living | close to your fears.
.
Nice car.
Oh, thanks.
I hope the judges | think so.
Yeah.
Can you tell me | who runs the show? Sure.
Uh, Suzanne Weston.
| She's over there.
Look for the tightest pants.
Thanks.
May I have | your ticket, ma'am? Great.
Good luck.
| Thank you.
Hi, you Miss Weston? Mmm-hmm.
Name's Michael Knight.
I'm a collector.
Couple of my buddies told me | I hadn't been to a show, till I'd been | to one of yours.
From what I can see, they | weren't just blowing smoke.
It'll be the best show | this season.
That's real good to hear, | because I'm looking for a car.
Something real special.
Of course I know | some of the best deals aren't always | in the open market.
Sometimes privacy | is as important as pink slips.
I just run a car show, | Michael.
I don't handle private sales.
But, uh, hang around.
| Mingle a bit, get to know the owners.
Who knows what a good-looking | man like you might turn up.
Now you remember, when you wave, | make a big show of it.
Hey, hey, hey, hey! Move back here, folks.
| Move back.
Move back.
Let the Longhorn in.
| Get away from it.
There's plenty of gawking | to be done on the inside.
Dobie, Dobie, come on, | take it in there.
Hit anybody | that touches the paint.
Nora, come on.
Psst.
Back off, pard.
| Don't crowd the Horn.
Not crowding.
| Just looking, pard.
We gotta have | a little talk, Suzanne.
I was promised | supreme spotting on the inside.
I get here, | and what do I find? I find the Haver girl | has got that spot.
Now, you gotta | figure out who the star of | this show is, sweetheart.
In a minute.
| In a minute, Buck.
This is Michael Knight.
| Nora and Buck Rayburn.
Buck is also a collector.
Really? Maybe we'll get a chance | to talk later, huh? Sure thing.
Just as soon | as I get squared away with the sweetheart here.
Now, why can't I put the Horn right next to | the Haver girl's car? Buck, there's no room.
Look at | that blonde.
Oh! That bathing suit's | got to be painted on.
What there is of it.
Now, she would make | a great cheerleader.
Will you forget | about cheerleaders? Who cares about | credentials here? I'm talking flesh.
You know what it takes to get | that kind of flesh, Hector? Big bucks, Hector.
| Or a hot car.
Excuse me.
Never had a doubt.
How're you doing, pal? I'm doing | just as you asked, MichaeI.
Snapping pictures | of every woman who walks by.
I feeI absolutely ludicrous.
Like a second-rate spy | in a B movie.
It's gotta be done.
Devon just might be | able to ID someone.
I suppose.
| Are you making any progress? No.
No bites yet.
Well, I'll continue | working the party, and, uh, show everybody | I'm in the market.
Working the party? You call making small talk and drinking margaritas | working? Keep your scanners peeled | and your shutter snapping.
I know.
It's a dirty job, | but somebody's gotta do it.
I knew you'll never keep.
Don't be stupid.
This is a chance to do | something with your life.
Thanks for | your interest.
But in case | you didn't notice, I already am.
What? Towing around | your father's dream? Carrie, that car was | his fixation, not yours.
I'll give you $20,000 cash.
The car's not for sale, | Suzanne.
Not now.
Not ever.
$20,000.
| That's as high as I'll go.
If you're smart, | you'll take it.
Promises, promises.
.
Hi.
Oh, hi.
You okay? Sure, I'm okay.
Yeah, well, I couldn't help | overhearing the conversation.
Yeah.
It's just some of | these people around here.
It's like my dad | never even existed.
"Eddie Haver died? | Oh, too bad.
"Maybe his kid's | desperate.
"Maybe we can- Maybe | we can buy his dream for 10 cents | on the dollar.
" On Sunday, they'll be crying when the judges | announce the winner.
Thanks.
Hey.
How about | breakfast tomorrow? Oh, well, I plan to be | at the show by 7:00.
Me, too.
Get some coffee | and doughnuts and drive over together.
You sure you're not | trying to bribe me to sell you my car? Bribe you? | With coffee and doughnuts? Tomorrow? Okay.
Okay.
See you tomorrow.
Good night.
Michael, she's just a kid.
Cute, but really not | in your league.
When you're ready to graduate, | stop by and say hello.
Room 358.
You know the people here? Some.
| Mostly by reputation.
They're a mixed bag.
Owners, drivers, | collectors Lots of wheeling | and dealing.
What about this, uh, | Suzanne Weston? Hmm.
Suzanne.
She's the type of woman | who wants something if someone else has it.
Cars, men, | it doesn't matter.
That's my car! My car! Michael, | is he dead? He'll be okay.
| Call an ambulance.
Go! KITT, get over here, quick.
MichaeI, there's a train track | less than a mile ahead.
As long as there's no train.
That's precisely my point.
| There is.
All right, | let's have a look.
Can Carrie's car make it? If it does, it will be | by the skin of its bumper.
What about us? Certainly not | in the conventionaI way.
Get ready, pal.
MichaeI.
You got them on your scanner? I hate to say it, MichaeI, but Carrie's car | has disappeared.
We've got a contract! No contract on Earth is gonna keep the Longhorn | here overnight again.
I'm lucky that thief | was blessed with bad taste and didn't steal | the Horn as it is.
I could sue you, Rayburn.
Not without a counter-suit, | Miss Weston.
Your contract guaranteed | adequate security.
You tell her, sweet pea.
I'll double the security.
Oh, God.
They said | they'll do their best.
Which is a sure sign they | have no hope of recovering it.
Don't make it any worse | than it already is.
It couldn't get | any worse.
Thanks for | trying to help.
By the way, | that's some car you've got.
Who are you? I mean.
you're more | than what you've said.
Well, believe it or not, I'm here to find out | who's been stealing the cars whenever there's a show.
What are you, | an undercover cop? Something like that.
Listen, I don't know about | you, but my car is all I've got.
Let me work with you.
I'm sorry, I work alone.
| Besides, it could be dangerous.
Well, I'm not afraid.
| Please If you had anything | to do with this If that's an accusation, you'd | better be able to back it up.
Oh, if I could back it up, | you wouldn't be standing there with your eye shadow | so perfectly overdone.
Well, you've got a smart mouth for a girl who's just turned | in her training bra.
Okay, hold it.
Nobody feels very good | about this, and this is not gonna make | anyone feel better.
So why don't | we call it a draw and each of us go out | to our neutral corners.
What's your interest | in this? Just mingling, like you said.
Well, maybe you should learn | to be a little more selective.
Come on, | I'll buy you a lemonade.
A double.
You gonna do this | all your life? What? This.
Stare at the ground | prowling for cigarette butts.
If you're gonna lecture me | about smoking, Leroy I'm not talking about | smoking, beetle-brain, I'm talking about this.
| Common labor.
How many cheerleaders | you think you're gonna get on $2.
25 an hour? Is that all we make? Hector, Hector, Hector, | I'm telling you, if you want cheerleaders | you gotta have a fancy car.
On $2.
25 an hour? Hector, what you make does not | necessarily determine how you live.
Look at the guy who stole | that girl's car this morning.
He didn't work for it.
But he's got it.
Come on.
Well, I've studied all the photos | KITT's transmitted.
Anything? Nothing, I'm afraid.
I'm beginning to wonder | if I'd recognize her, if I bumped into each other | at the supermarket.
Devon, you don't go | to supermarkets.
Yes, quite right, but | you take my point, don't you? ApriI went over | the stolen car and found | a single strand of hair, from an expensive | wig made of Elura.
What about the background | on our people? Nothing, I'm afraid.
With the exception | of Suzanne Weston.
She has an arrest record.
An arrest record? Don't tell me.
Quite right, MichaeI.
Two counts | of grand theft auto.
No convictions.
Interesting lady.
I wonder if she has | an affinity for wigs.
Good work, Devon.
Not good enough I'm afraid.
Cdr.
Smythe has had | a change of plans.
He's arriving tomorrow.
MichaeI, I'm a mature man.
I handle human frailties | fairly well, even my own.
But I have no intention of | facing the Commander car-less.
I hear you.
KITT, remember these letters: | "CB, JR, JW.
" MichaeI, I'm convinced | they're to a combination lock.
But where that particular type | of lock is at the present is an entirely | different matter.
All right.
Let's see if only her | hairdresser knows for sure.
Sorry, MichaeI.
| As you can see, the hair from Suzanne's wig | is a coarse synthetic.
It comes from a cheaper wig.
There's more wigs | floating around here than in Miami Beach.
MichaeI, the impossible once again | becomes commonplace.
You got a fix on the lock? Better than that.
| I can tell you where it is.
CB.
JR.
JW.
Okay.
You better get lost.
MichaeI, two vehicles | are approaching the warehouse.
One is Suzanne, | the other an unknown cyclist, going around back.
Thanks, pal.
KITT, I'm around back, | cut him off.
Hold it! Hold it! Stop! Carrie! I don't care what you think, | I'm innocent.
I'm not guilty of anything.
| Unlike you.
What are you talking about? Suzanne Weston.
I saw you | sneak out of her room after your nasty | little assignation.
It wasn't what you think and if you're so innocent, | why are you here? I think Suzanne stole my car.
Either stole it | or had it stolen.
I don't trust her.
Yeah.
| I don't trust her either.
Doesn't mean | she's guilty, does it? Besides, your car | isn't even in there.
Just storage.
You sound like | we're working together.
Are we? Okay.
For starters, | I got a good idea.
What? If the thief isn't interested | in selling me a car, maybe he'd like to | steal one from me.
How's this? Oh, that would be great.
ApriI, I can't believe you're participating | in this barbarism.
Now, KITT, you know | we wouldn't be doing this if it weren't | absolutely necessary.
How would you feeI if someone | decided to extend your nose, remove your ears, | lengthen your neck and paint your body | candy-apple red? Thank goodness | Wilton Knight isn't here to see this sacrilege.
Yo, Devon.
MichaeI, have you made | any progress at all? Uh, that depends on | how you define progress.
I define it as recovering | the Pennington.
In that case, no.
But I've come up | with a new approach.
I've decided | to change tactics.
While you're changing tactics, | I'm running out of time.
Cdr.
Smythe is due here | in less than 24 hours.
Maybe you can stall him.
My dear boy, one does not | stall the Commander.
One tries to survive him.
Lt.
Miles, attention! Did you see | the look on his face? I think you're both being | extremely insensitive to the humiliation | involved here.
You mean Devon's? Mine.
Well, KITT, | think of it this way.
Even as we speak, | innocent, beautiful cars, are being stolen | and customized against their will.
Against their will? Against their will.
In that case, we've | no time to lose.
Proceed.
The odds on the Longhorn | are even money, boys.
Even money.
Bet 100 to win 90.
There's a 10 percent vig.
You think I do this | just to win friends and influence people? Well, put me down for 1,000.
You better run a good book, | Dobie, know what I mean? Because the Longhorn | is a shoe-in.
Can I use the hot tub later? Over my dead body.
Did you hear anything | about a last-minute entry? No.
My entrance fee's | still good, isn't it? Oh, no way.
No ringers.
| No late entries.
It's not exactly | a late entry, Mr.
Rayburn.
Carrie had a car registered, | and it was stolen.
This car's just | taking its place.
Well? She paid her entrance fee so the car | is allowed to compete.
Well, it's just a car.
| What are you looking at? Step right up.
It's just a car.
Show off.
That's what I call | a mean machine.
There isn't a cheerleader | in the world you couldn't get | with that car, Hector.
And did you see Rayburn? He looked like he was | going to jump out of his skin and fly all the way | back to Texas.
He could do that | on his wife's broomstick.
Have I thanked you | for all your help? Yeah.
In your own way.
Well, I'm not quite | sure what that means, but, uh, | it doesn't sound right.
I mean, it seems to me that I should thank | a person in his way.
What is your way, Michael? I'll tell you what.
| If our plan works, and the thief tries | to steal KITT tonight, you can thank me.
I don't think | you answered my question.
So I'm just | gonna have to guess.
Get down here.
Close? Real close.
See you tomorrow, | crack of dawn.
I'll be ready.
Hi.
What are you doing here? Oh, I thought | it was time for us to pick up | where we left off.
Yeah, well, Suzanne, | this whole thing.
I'm telling you, | it's not the way it looks.
I take pride in making | myself perfectly clear.
It's not worth it.
Why are we getting | in all this trouble? Do you trust me? Will you just trust me? | It is worth it.
It is worth it.
| Will you just listen? I'm no- I'm no good | at this kind of stuff.
We ain't in no trouble.
We only get in trouble | if we get caught.
And we ain't gonna | get caught, Hector.
What's that? That? Oh, that, uh That is a computer watch.
And it reminds me that | I've gotta take some pills.
Well, you look | perfectly healthy to me.
It's a miracle | of modern medicine.
KITT, what is it? We've got a bite, | MichaeI.
Two stealthy figures | are approaching me.
Uh, you handle it.
I'll be out there | as soon as I can.
I think it's time | we had a nice little talk.
Michael whoever-you-are.
All right, what | do you want to talk about? Who you are.
Why you're here.
I told you.
Then let's be | more specific.
Because, I also saw you | skulking around the warehouse I rented.
I'll tell you what.
You give me the gun, and I'll give you an answer.
Suzanne, Grand Theft Auto | is one thing.
But you really | don't want to shoot me.
Oh, good move, Hector.
| You just woke half the town.
How come I always | have to carry everything? Look, let's just forget | the whole thing.
So far | all they have on us is intent to disturb | the peace.
That's a humiliation, | disturbing the peace.
What do you get | if you disturb the peace? If I'm gonna get busted, I'd rather get busted | for Grand Theft Auto.
At least it's got substance.
At least they know | you were going for something.
Now, bend the hangers.
| Bend the hangers.
Oh, dear, | what a disappointment.
Small fish in a small pond.
Well, I guess | that old saying is true.
Oh, yeah? What's that? Truth is stranger | than fiction.
Stranger but not nearly | as interesting.
For what it's worth, I hope you find | whoever stole your boss' car.
As the owner of a car show, I hate the thefts | as much as anybody else.
We build our image | on good, clean family fun.
And if you're ever in the mood | for the other kind, you know where | you can find me.
Oh, yeah, KITT, | what's happening? False alarm, MichaeI.
I thought somebody | was after you.
They were.
Are, actually.
The trouble is they're not | professionaI thieves.
How do you know? They're trying to gain entry with a coat hanger | and a Phillips screwdriver.
I can't figure this out | for the life of me.
Let's go home, Leroy.
There's no cheerleader | worth any of this.
I got an idea.
| No! Guaranteed to work.
Come on, get the box.
How come I always | got to carry the toolbox? Come on.
| How come? Well, MichaeI, | the night is still young.
Those two baboons have gone and there's still time | to catch the reaI thief.
Yeah.
Let's hope so, | for Devon's sake.
You did what | with the Pennington? I, uh, had her | entered in a car show.
You put the Pennington | Ascot Regency on display, before commoners? Well, you see, Henry, I, uh, I felt that all that beauty, | all that majesty, ought to be shared | with the rest of the world, to brighten | the colorless lives of the deprived, | of the, uh, less fortunate.
Yes, I I suppose | I can see what you mean.
You can? Why, that's absolutely | wonderful.
What good news | for the masses.
Take me to | the show at once.
Take you? Henry, | it's up in Barton Springs, quite a fair journey | and it's already very late.
Uh, look.
What do you say, | let's relax for the evening.
And we'll get a fresh start | first thing in the morning.
We'll arrive in plenty | of time for the judging.
Nothing wrong, is there? Wrong? Certainly not.
What on earth could | possibly be wrong? I see there's only one way | to get rid of you two.
You did it.
I told you.
Come on.
Wow, look at that dash.
TV set and all.
Didn't I tell you | this car was special? You can say that again.
Will you slow down? I'm not doing it, Hector! | It's driving itself! Shall we take | the scenic route, or are you in a hurry? Who said that? Let's get out of here! No, you don't.
You wanted to steaI a car, and now you've stolen | the ride of your lives.
Let me out of here! Remember this the next time you think | about stealing a car.
Yes, sir.
Now get lost.
Hector.
You carry it | this time.
Goodbye.
I'm-I'm go- I'm going.
| I'm going.
And good riddance.
You better hurry up.
Well.
How do I look? Oh, what do you think | that black beauty's worth? Oh.
About $75,000.
You look like $75,000.
Ah! There's nothing quite like | getting an early start to awaken the senses.
The crisp, | clear smell of the dawn.
It makes you yearn for | the war years, huh, Devon? Leading a bristled | gaggle of men into battle.
The clash of steel | against steel, by george.
Uh, steel against steel, | yes, quite.
Still, we have plenty | of time for breakfast.
A leisurely breakfast.
Well, I've waited this long | to drive the old girl.
I suppose I could | wait a little longer.
Oh, good.
You don't suppose they could | find any kippers, do you? Well.
Looks like the amateurs didn't | do too much damage, huh? MichaeI, I am | more than capable of solving most problems intelligently | and scientifically.
Oh, yeah? What did you do? Scared their socks off.
Do you think this plan | will work, MichaeI? I certainly hope so.
There's someone | approaching us, MichaeI.
Male or female? Female.
To be | more specific, blonde.
Bingo.
How unpleasant.
Think about how | all the other cars feel.
They dent.
how sorry I am.
It | really is just all my fault.
I'm just glad | nobody was hurt.
You aren't hurt, | are you? No, no, I'm fine.
Oh.
| Not a scratch.
Thank goodness.
I mean, these days | you don't know who to trust.
Some people just yell whiplash | if you just wave at them.
Well, my insurance company | will pay for any damage to your car.
Well, uh Looks like you got off lucky.
Yeah.
Well, you know, here could be | some internal damage here.
Maybe I'd better get the name | of your insurance company.
Just to be | on the safe side.
Internal damage.
| Of course.
Yes.
Oh, would you be a dear | and get me my purse.
I'm just shaking so.
| I left it on the front seat.
Sure.
No problem.
Oh, thank you very much.
You sure | it's in the car? I can't find it.
It worked.
Who is it? You'll never guess.
Michael! Nora Rayburn.
You're very nice.
Kindly keep your hands | to yourself, madam.
What? Oh.
I see.
| One of those talking cars.
"Your fuel is low.
" | "Please close your door.
" How unnerving.
You ain't seen nothing yet.
Wait a minute.
They don't program cars | with bad grammar.
Open that door.
When the truck comes, I want these moved out | as soon as possible.
Oh! Ain't it beautiful.
| It's just beautiful! Nora.
Oh, I wouldn't know | what to do without you.
Did you have | any trouble? Not at all.
But it's a real | strange car, though.
I mean it speaks | horrible English and it practically | drives itself.
Well, that's | the power steering, honey.
Umm I don't know.
We're ready | when they get here, boss.
Load this one last.
There's my car! | They stole my car! Come on! | Get out of the way! You stay here.
KITT.
Back up.
Now.
Carrie! Hey, Michael, over here.
You okay? Oh, I'm fine.
You there! Pull over! | Pull over, I say.
We gotta stop him | before he causes an accident.
I got an idea.
MichaeI, you can't be thinking of turbo boosting | over the Longhorn.
Come on.
It is amazing, isn't it? Carrie! Got you.
| You conniving customizer.
We did it! Oh! We sure did.
| Oh.
You stay where you are, | MichaeI.
OiI may strike you | as hilarious, but not me.
Help! KITT.
KITT.
Now, cut it out.
Hey, I mean it! You two | are not getting into me untiI you have | a thorough steam-cleaning.
Hey! Hey, | come back here! KITT! Devon, I have seen | this car twice now.
Where is my Pennington? Have I shown you | the customized Packard? Yes.
Devon, I insist you take me to | the Pennington immediately.
And so I shall.
Hello.
I just wanted to | polish her up a little.
She is a sight, | I must say.
You're quite right, | Devon.
Everyone should | experience her beauty.
Michael! | Michael, I won! I won! Fantastic.
Oh, I don't know | how to thank you.
I'm still going | to think of a way.
I bet you will.
| I'll see you later.
Okay.
Thank you.
Good work, Michael.
Thanks, Devon.
Are you all right? I'm all right as long as | I don't move from this spot.
Oh.
I see.
Well, I'm sure that | you'll think of something.
And I'll see you | back at the semi.
I must say, | she's a beauty, isn't she? Look here.
| Don't crowd around like that.
I say, don't touch! Oh.
I almost forgot.
For you.
"Honorable Mention"? | How insulting.
Don't take it | too personally, pal.
You know | how these contests are.
All political.
I'd like to give those Judges | a piece of my mind.
The "bump-and-run" | is the latest technique.
Let's get out | of here! You wanted to steaI a car, and now you've stolen | the ride of your lives.
The Pennington | has been stolen, Michael.
Can Carrie's car make it? If it does, it will be | by the skin of its bumper.
There's my car! Knight Rider, a shadowy flight into the dangerous world | of a man who does not exist.
MichaeI Knight, a young loner on a crusade to champion | the cause of the innocent, the helpless, the powerless, in a world of criminals | who operate above the law.
Oh.
Uh-oh.
Is that all you can find | to say, madam? Oh, you're gonna be mad.
| Oh, don't be mad.
It's such | a beautiful day.
Nevertheless, this car you | so carelessly struck just happens to be | one of the very few Pennington Ascot Regencies | left in the world.
And it is not mine.
Oh, Bobby Jo's | just going to kill me.
I need identification.
I also need your insurance.
You are insured, | aren't you? Bobby Jo is.
| This is his car.
My purse, | it's in the front seat.
Would you, oh, please? I don't feel so good.
Oh, my God.
Devon sure looked great | in that blazer, didn't he? I had the distinct impression he was trying to impress | the car.
Can you blame him? The Pennington Ascot Regency | is a classic.
Not that you aren't | in its class.
Actually, KITT, you're in a class | all by yourself.
You're one of a kind.
Thank you.
Mmm-hmm.
Hello, Devon.
I thought you were out | joyriding in the Pennington.
The Pennington | has been stolen, MichaeI.
What? I'll explain later.
The point is Cdr.
Smythe | is due back here, early Monday morning.
Now, if he returns, and I | haven't got the Pennington- Say no more.
| I'll meet you at the semi.
Devon, are you sure | it was planned? Yes, it was | a professional job.
I wish I'd been rude and told | her to fetch her own purse.
A gentleman | to the very end.
All right, | what've you got? Well, in recent months, there's been a rash of | custom and classic car thefts.
The "bump-and-run" | is the latest technique.
Well, if that's all | we've got to go on, somebody's | in a lot of trouble.
Must you be so negative? Actually, it's not all | we've got to go on.
April? Well, I think we've come up | with a common denominator.
Everywhere | there's been a theft, there's also been a custom | car show not far away.
Makes a lot of sense.
| The shows attract cars.
The cars attract | potential buyers.
Which is precisely | the reason that you're going | to Barton Springs.
If they are planning | to sell the Pennington, this could very well | be the place.
The Barton Springs | Custom and Classic Car Show.
State your case | with black or white.
But when one little cross | leads to shots.
Grit your teeth.
You run for cover | so discreet.
Why don't they.
Do what they say, | say what you mean.
One thing leads to another.
You told me something wrong, | I know I listen too long.
But then | one thing leads to another.
The impression | that you sell.
Passes in and out | like a scent.
But the long face | that you see.
comes from living | close to your fears.
.
Nice car.
Oh, thanks.
I hope the judges | think so.
Yeah.
Can you tell me | who runs the show? Sure.
Uh, Suzanne Weston.
| She's over there.
Look for the tightest pants.
Thanks.
May I have | your ticket, ma'am? Great.
Good luck.
| Thank you.
Hi, you Miss Weston? Mmm-hmm.
Name's Michael Knight.
I'm a collector.
Couple of my buddies told me | I hadn't been to a show, till I'd been | to one of yours.
From what I can see, they | weren't just blowing smoke.
It'll be the best show | this season.
That's real good to hear, | because I'm looking for a car.
Something real special.
Of course I know | some of the best deals aren't always | in the open market.
Sometimes privacy | is as important as pink slips.
I just run a car show, | Michael.
I don't handle private sales.
But, uh, hang around.
| Mingle a bit, get to know the owners.
Who knows what a good-looking | man like you might turn up.
Now you remember, when you wave, | make a big show of it.
Hey, hey, hey, hey! Move back here, folks.
| Move back.
Move back.
Let the Longhorn in.
| Get away from it.
There's plenty of gawking | to be done on the inside.
Dobie, Dobie, come on, | take it in there.
Hit anybody | that touches the paint.
Nora, come on.
Psst.
Back off, pard.
| Don't crowd the Horn.
Not crowding.
| Just looking, pard.
We gotta have | a little talk, Suzanne.
I was promised | supreme spotting on the inside.
I get here, | and what do I find? I find the Haver girl | has got that spot.
Now, you gotta | figure out who the star of | this show is, sweetheart.
In a minute.
| In a minute, Buck.
This is Michael Knight.
| Nora and Buck Rayburn.
Buck is also a collector.
Really? Maybe we'll get a chance | to talk later, huh? Sure thing.
Just as soon | as I get squared away with the sweetheart here.
Now, why can't I put the Horn right next to | the Haver girl's car? Buck, there's no room.
Look at | that blonde.
Oh! That bathing suit's | got to be painted on.
What there is of it.
Now, she would make | a great cheerleader.
Will you forget | about cheerleaders? Who cares about | credentials here? I'm talking flesh.
You know what it takes to get | that kind of flesh, Hector? Big bucks, Hector.
| Or a hot car.
Excuse me.
Never had a doubt.
How're you doing, pal? I'm doing | just as you asked, MichaeI.
Snapping pictures | of every woman who walks by.
I feeI absolutely ludicrous.
Like a second-rate spy | in a B movie.
It's gotta be done.
Devon just might be | able to ID someone.
I suppose.
| Are you making any progress? No.
No bites yet.
Well, I'll continue | working the party, and, uh, show everybody | I'm in the market.
Working the party? You call making small talk and drinking margaritas | working? Keep your scanners peeled | and your shutter snapping.
I know.
It's a dirty job, | but somebody's gotta do it.
I knew you'll never keep.
Don't be stupid.
This is a chance to do | something with your life.
Thanks for | your interest.
But in case | you didn't notice, I already am.
What? Towing around | your father's dream? Carrie, that car was | his fixation, not yours.
I'll give you $20,000 cash.
The car's not for sale, | Suzanne.
Not now.
Not ever.
$20,000.
| That's as high as I'll go.
If you're smart, | you'll take it.
Promises, promises.
.
Hi.
Oh, hi.
You okay? Sure, I'm okay.
Yeah, well, I couldn't help | overhearing the conversation.
Yeah.
It's just some of | these people around here.
It's like my dad | never even existed.
"Eddie Haver died? | Oh, too bad.
"Maybe his kid's | desperate.
"Maybe we can- Maybe | we can buy his dream for 10 cents | on the dollar.
" On Sunday, they'll be crying when the judges | announce the winner.
Thanks.
Hey.
How about | breakfast tomorrow? Oh, well, I plan to be | at the show by 7:00.
Me, too.
Get some coffee | and doughnuts and drive over together.
You sure you're not | trying to bribe me to sell you my car? Bribe you? | With coffee and doughnuts? Tomorrow? Okay.
Okay.
See you tomorrow.
Good night.
Michael, she's just a kid.
Cute, but really not | in your league.
When you're ready to graduate, | stop by and say hello.
Room 358.
You know the people here? Some.
| Mostly by reputation.
They're a mixed bag.
Owners, drivers, | collectors Lots of wheeling | and dealing.
What about this, uh, | Suzanne Weston? Hmm.
Suzanne.
She's the type of woman | who wants something if someone else has it.
Cars, men, | it doesn't matter.
That's my car! My car! Michael, | is he dead? He'll be okay.
| Call an ambulance.
Go! KITT, get over here, quick.
MichaeI, there's a train track | less than a mile ahead.
As long as there's no train.
That's precisely my point.
| There is.
All right, | let's have a look.
Can Carrie's car make it? If it does, it will be | by the skin of its bumper.
What about us? Certainly not | in the conventionaI way.
Get ready, pal.
MichaeI.
You got them on your scanner? I hate to say it, MichaeI, but Carrie's car | has disappeared.
We've got a contract! No contract on Earth is gonna keep the Longhorn | here overnight again.
I'm lucky that thief | was blessed with bad taste and didn't steal | the Horn as it is.
I could sue you, Rayburn.
Not without a counter-suit, | Miss Weston.
Your contract guaranteed | adequate security.
You tell her, sweet pea.
I'll double the security.
Oh, God.
They said | they'll do their best.
Which is a sure sign they | have no hope of recovering it.
Don't make it any worse | than it already is.
It couldn't get | any worse.
Thanks for | trying to help.
By the way, | that's some car you've got.
Who are you? I mean.
you're more | than what you've said.
Well, believe it or not, I'm here to find out | who's been stealing the cars whenever there's a show.
What are you, | an undercover cop? Something like that.
Listen, I don't know about | you, but my car is all I've got.
Let me work with you.
I'm sorry, I work alone.
| Besides, it could be dangerous.
Well, I'm not afraid.
| Please If you had anything | to do with this If that's an accusation, you'd | better be able to back it up.
Oh, if I could back it up, | you wouldn't be standing there with your eye shadow | so perfectly overdone.
Well, you've got a smart mouth for a girl who's just turned | in her training bra.
Okay, hold it.
Nobody feels very good | about this, and this is not gonna make | anyone feel better.
So why don't | we call it a draw and each of us go out | to our neutral corners.
What's your interest | in this? Just mingling, like you said.
Well, maybe you should learn | to be a little more selective.
Come on, | I'll buy you a lemonade.
A double.
You gonna do this | all your life? What? This.
Stare at the ground | prowling for cigarette butts.
If you're gonna lecture me | about smoking, Leroy I'm not talking about | smoking, beetle-brain, I'm talking about this.
| Common labor.
How many cheerleaders | you think you're gonna get on $2.
25 an hour? Is that all we make? Hector, Hector, Hector, | I'm telling you, if you want cheerleaders | you gotta have a fancy car.
On $2.
25 an hour? Hector, what you make does not | necessarily determine how you live.
Look at the guy who stole | that girl's car this morning.
He didn't work for it.
But he's got it.
Come on.
Well, I've studied all the photos | KITT's transmitted.
Anything? Nothing, I'm afraid.
I'm beginning to wonder | if I'd recognize her, if I bumped into each other | at the supermarket.
Devon, you don't go | to supermarkets.
Yes, quite right, but | you take my point, don't you? ApriI went over | the stolen car and found | a single strand of hair, from an expensive | wig made of Elura.
What about the background | on our people? Nothing, I'm afraid.
With the exception | of Suzanne Weston.
She has an arrest record.
An arrest record? Don't tell me.
Quite right, MichaeI.
Two counts | of grand theft auto.
No convictions.
Interesting lady.
I wonder if she has | an affinity for wigs.
Good work, Devon.
Not good enough I'm afraid.
Cdr.
Smythe has had | a change of plans.
He's arriving tomorrow.
MichaeI, I'm a mature man.
I handle human frailties | fairly well, even my own.
But I have no intention of | facing the Commander car-less.
I hear you.
KITT, remember these letters: | "CB, JR, JW.
" MichaeI, I'm convinced | they're to a combination lock.
But where that particular type | of lock is at the present is an entirely | different matter.
All right.
Let's see if only her | hairdresser knows for sure.
Sorry, MichaeI.
| As you can see, the hair from Suzanne's wig | is a coarse synthetic.
It comes from a cheaper wig.
There's more wigs | floating around here than in Miami Beach.
MichaeI, the impossible once again | becomes commonplace.
You got a fix on the lock? Better than that.
| I can tell you where it is.
CB.
JR.
JW.
Okay.
You better get lost.
MichaeI, two vehicles | are approaching the warehouse.
One is Suzanne, | the other an unknown cyclist, going around back.
Thanks, pal.
KITT, I'm around back, | cut him off.
Hold it! Hold it! Stop! Carrie! I don't care what you think, | I'm innocent.
I'm not guilty of anything.
| Unlike you.
What are you talking about? Suzanne Weston.
I saw you | sneak out of her room after your nasty | little assignation.
It wasn't what you think and if you're so innocent, | why are you here? I think Suzanne stole my car.
Either stole it | or had it stolen.
I don't trust her.
Yeah.
| I don't trust her either.
Doesn't mean | she's guilty, does it? Besides, your car | isn't even in there.
Just storage.
You sound like | we're working together.
Are we? Okay.
For starters, | I got a good idea.
What? If the thief isn't interested | in selling me a car, maybe he'd like to | steal one from me.
How's this? Oh, that would be great.
ApriI, I can't believe you're participating | in this barbarism.
Now, KITT, you know | we wouldn't be doing this if it weren't | absolutely necessary.
How would you feeI if someone | decided to extend your nose, remove your ears, | lengthen your neck and paint your body | candy-apple red? Thank goodness | Wilton Knight isn't here to see this sacrilege.
Yo, Devon.
MichaeI, have you made | any progress at all? Uh, that depends on | how you define progress.
I define it as recovering | the Pennington.
In that case, no.
But I've come up | with a new approach.
I've decided | to change tactics.
While you're changing tactics, | I'm running out of time.
Cdr.
Smythe is due here | in less than 24 hours.
Maybe you can stall him.
My dear boy, one does not | stall the Commander.
One tries to survive him.
Lt.
Miles, attention! Did you see | the look on his face? I think you're both being | extremely insensitive to the humiliation | involved here.
You mean Devon's? Mine.
Well, KITT, | think of it this way.
Even as we speak, | innocent, beautiful cars, are being stolen | and customized against their will.
Against their will? Against their will.
In that case, we've | no time to lose.
Proceed.
The odds on the Longhorn | are even money, boys.
Even money.
Bet 100 to win 90.
There's a 10 percent vig.
You think I do this | just to win friends and influence people? Well, put me down for 1,000.
You better run a good book, | Dobie, know what I mean? Because the Longhorn | is a shoe-in.
Can I use the hot tub later? Over my dead body.
Did you hear anything | about a last-minute entry? No.
My entrance fee's | still good, isn't it? Oh, no way.
No ringers.
| No late entries.
It's not exactly | a late entry, Mr.
Rayburn.
Carrie had a car registered, | and it was stolen.
This car's just | taking its place.
Well? She paid her entrance fee so the car | is allowed to compete.
Well, it's just a car.
| What are you looking at? Step right up.
It's just a car.
Show off.
That's what I call | a mean machine.
There isn't a cheerleader | in the world you couldn't get | with that car, Hector.
And did you see Rayburn? He looked like he was | going to jump out of his skin and fly all the way | back to Texas.
He could do that | on his wife's broomstick.
Have I thanked you | for all your help? Yeah.
In your own way.
Well, I'm not quite | sure what that means, but, uh, | it doesn't sound right.
I mean, it seems to me that I should thank | a person in his way.
What is your way, Michael? I'll tell you what.
| If our plan works, and the thief tries | to steal KITT tonight, you can thank me.
I don't think | you answered my question.
So I'm just | gonna have to guess.
Get down here.
Close? Real close.
See you tomorrow, | crack of dawn.
I'll be ready.
Hi.
What are you doing here? Oh, I thought | it was time for us to pick up | where we left off.
Yeah, well, Suzanne, | this whole thing.
I'm telling you, | it's not the way it looks.
I take pride in making | myself perfectly clear.
It's not worth it.
Why are we getting | in all this trouble? Do you trust me? Will you just trust me? | It is worth it.
It is worth it.
| Will you just listen? I'm no- I'm no good | at this kind of stuff.
We ain't in no trouble.
We only get in trouble | if we get caught.
And we ain't gonna | get caught, Hector.
What's that? That? Oh, that, uh That is a computer watch.
And it reminds me that | I've gotta take some pills.
Well, you look | perfectly healthy to me.
It's a miracle | of modern medicine.
KITT, what is it? We've got a bite, | MichaeI.
Two stealthy figures | are approaching me.
Uh, you handle it.
I'll be out there | as soon as I can.
I think it's time | we had a nice little talk.
Michael whoever-you-are.
All right, what | do you want to talk about? Who you are.
Why you're here.
I told you.
Then let's be | more specific.
Because, I also saw you | skulking around the warehouse I rented.
I'll tell you what.
You give me the gun, and I'll give you an answer.
Suzanne, Grand Theft Auto | is one thing.
But you really | don't want to shoot me.
Oh, good move, Hector.
| You just woke half the town.
How come I always | have to carry everything? Look, let's just forget | the whole thing.
So far | all they have on us is intent to disturb | the peace.
That's a humiliation, | disturbing the peace.
What do you get | if you disturb the peace? If I'm gonna get busted, I'd rather get busted | for Grand Theft Auto.
At least it's got substance.
At least they know | you were going for something.
Now, bend the hangers.
| Bend the hangers.
Oh, dear, | what a disappointment.
Small fish in a small pond.
Well, I guess | that old saying is true.
Oh, yeah? What's that? Truth is stranger | than fiction.
Stranger but not nearly | as interesting.
For what it's worth, I hope you find | whoever stole your boss' car.
As the owner of a car show, I hate the thefts | as much as anybody else.
We build our image | on good, clean family fun.
And if you're ever in the mood | for the other kind, you know where | you can find me.
Oh, yeah, KITT, | what's happening? False alarm, MichaeI.
I thought somebody | was after you.
They were.
Are, actually.
The trouble is they're not | professionaI thieves.
How do you know? They're trying to gain entry with a coat hanger | and a Phillips screwdriver.
I can't figure this out | for the life of me.
Let's go home, Leroy.
There's no cheerleader | worth any of this.
I got an idea.
| No! Guaranteed to work.
Come on, get the box.
How come I always | got to carry the toolbox? Come on.
| How come? Well, MichaeI, | the night is still young.
Those two baboons have gone and there's still time | to catch the reaI thief.
Yeah.
Let's hope so, | for Devon's sake.
You did what | with the Pennington? I, uh, had her | entered in a car show.
You put the Pennington | Ascot Regency on display, before commoners? Well, you see, Henry, I, uh, I felt that all that beauty, | all that majesty, ought to be shared | with the rest of the world, to brighten | the colorless lives of the deprived, | of the, uh, less fortunate.
Yes, I I suppose | I can see what you mean.
You can? Why, that's absolutely | wonderful.
What good news | for the masses.
Take me to | the show at once.
Take you? Henry, | it's up in Barton Springs, quite a fair journey | and it's already very late.
Uh, look.
What do you say, | let's relax for the evening.
And we'll get a fresh start | first thing in the morning.
We'll arrive in plenty | of time for the judging.
Nothing wrong, is there? Wrong? Certainly not.
What on earth could | possibly be wrong? I see there's only one way | to get rid of you two.
You did it.
I told you.
Come on.
Wow, look at that dash.
TV set and all.
Didn't I tell you | this car was special? You can say that again.
Will you slow down? I'm not doing it, Hector! | It's driving itself! Shall we take | the scenic route, or are you in a hurry? Who said that? Let's get out of here! No, you don't.
You wanted to steaI a car, and now you've stolen | the ride of your lives.
Let me out of here! Remember this the next time you think | about stealing a car.
Yes, sir.
Now get lost.
Hector.
You carry it | this time.
Goodbye.
I'm-I'm go- I'm going.
| I'm going.
And good riddance.
You better hurry up.
Well.
How do I look? Oh, what do you think | that black beauty's worth? Oh.
About $75,000.
You look like $75,000.
Ah! There's nothing quite like | getting an early start to awaken the senses.
The crisp, | clear smell of the dawn.
It makes you yearn for | the war years, huh, Devon? Leading a bristled | gaggle of men into battle.
The clash of steel | against steel, by george.
Uh, steel against steel, | yes, quite.
Still, we have plenty | of time for breakfast.
A leisurely breakfast.
Well, I've waited this long | to drive the old girl.
I suppose I could | wait a little longer.
Oh, good.
You don't suppose they could | find any kippers, do you? Well.
Looks like the amateurs didn't | do too much damage, huh? MichaeI, I am | more than capable of solving most problems intelligently | and scientifically.
Oh, yeah? What did you do? Scared their socks off.
Do you think this plan | will work, MichaeI? I certainly hope so.
There's someone | approaching us, MichaeI.
Male or female? Female.
To be | more specific, blonde.
Bingo.
How unpleasant.
Think about how | all the other cars feel.
They dent.
how sorry I am.
It | really is just all my fault.
I'm just glad | nobody was hurt.
You aren't hurt, | are you? No, no, I'm fine.
Oh.
| Not a scratch.
Thank goodness.
I mean, these days | you don't know who to trust.
Some people just yell whiplash | if you just wave at them.
Well, my insurance company | will pay for any damage to your car.
Well, uh Looks like you got off lucky.
Yeah.
Well, you know, here could be | some internal damage here.
Maybe I'd better get the name | of your insurance company.
Just to be | on the safe side.
Internal damage.
| Of course.
Yes.
Oh, would you be a dear | and get me my purse.
I'm just shaking so.
| I left it on the front seat.
Sure.
No problem.
Oh, thank you very much.
You sure | it's in the car? I can't find it.
It worked.
Who is it? You'll never guess.
Michael! Nora Rayburn.
You're very nice.
Kindly keep your hands | to yourself, madam.
What? Oh.
I see.
| One of those talking cars.
"Your fuel is low.
" | "Please close your door.
" How unnerving.
You ain't seen nothing yet.
Wait a minute.
They don't program cars | with bad grammar.
Open that door.
When the truck comes, I want these moved out | as soon as possible.
Oh! Ain't it beautiful.
| It's just beautiful! Nora.
Oh, I wouldn't know | what to do without you.
Did you have | any trouble? Not at all.
But it's a real | strange car, though.
I mean it speaks | horrible English and it practically | drives itself.
Well, that's | the power steering, honey.
Umm I don't know.
We're ready | when they get here, boss.
Load this one last.
There's my car! | They stole my car! Come on! | Get out of the way! You stay here.
KITT.
Back up.
Now.
Carrie! Hey, Michael, over here.
You okay? Oh, I'm fine.
You there! Pull over! | Pull over, I say.
We gotta stop him | before he causes an accident.
I got an idea.
MichaeI, you can't be thinking of turbo boosting | over the Longhorn.
Come on.
It is amazing, isn't it? Carrie! Got you.
| You conniving customizer.
We did it! Oh! We sure did.
| Oh.
You stay where you are, | MichaeI.
OiI may strike you | as hilarious, but not me.
Help! KITT.
KITT.
Now, cut it out.
Hey, I mean it! You two | are not getting into me untiI you have | a thorough steam-cleaning.
Hey! Hey, | come back here! KITT! Devon, I have seen | this car twice now.
Where is my Pennington? Have I shown you | the customized Packard? Yes.
Devon, I insist you take me to | the Pennington immediately.
And so I shall.
Hello.
I just wanted to | polish her up a little.
She is a sight, | I must say.
You're quite right, | Devon.
Everyone should | experience her beauty.
Michael! | Michael, I won! I won! Fantastic.
Oh, I don't know | how to thank you.
I'm still going | to think of a way.
I bet you will.
| I'll see you later.
Okay.
Thank you.
Good work, Michael.
Thanks, Devon.
Are you all right? I'm all right as long as | I don't move from this spot.
Oh.
I see.
Well, I'm sure that | you'll think of something.
And I'll see you | back at the semi.
I must say, | she's a beauty, isn't she? Look here.
| Don't crowd around like that.
I say, don't touch! Oh.
I almost forgot.
For you.
"Honorable Mention"? | How insulting.
Don't take it | too personally, pal.
You know | how these contests are.
All political.
I'd like to give those Judges | a piece of my mind.