Mad Men s02e08 Episode Script

When did you get up? I don't know.
Is it still Saturday? I need you to fix the outlet in the dining room.
I thought you were going to call an electrician.
All you need to do is unscrew the fuse and replace the plug, Don.
Sounds like you could do it.
I need to be able to plug in the hot plate.
Okay.
Okay.
Bets, come here.
Look, you've got a week before this party, and it doesn't have to be a big deal.
Carla will help you.
We're going to have a house full of people.
I'd appreciate it if you'd take care of the things on the list.
Birdie, I'll fix it.
Thank you.
Hello.
Perfect timing.
Ma just left.
You two are on your honeymoon, Mr.
Seeger? Yes.
And how did you meet this lovely young lady? At a New Year's Eve party.
I brought colored pencils for the boys.
They're out back throwing rocks at my laundry.
How is he? I don't know.
I told you about the chiropractor.
They're not doctors.
Did I tell you he cried? Anita Sometimes I think about Mike Ryan.
Remember him? Stop it.
Gerry has a job.
He hates it.
He told me he hated it, and then a week later his back started.
His buddies from work don't even come by anymore.
They think he's a malingerer.
And Ma, all she can talk about are her bunions.
I checked out the next Horatio Hornblower for him.
I was right.
There is only one book about Moby Dick.
Him with the books.
Who is it? I don't know.
Oh, Lord.
Hello, Father.
What a pleasant surprise.
Well, I'm sorry for dropping in.
I just thought that he could use a visit.
Bless you.
How is he? Much better, thanks.
Good, good.
I'm glad.
- Hello, Peggy.
- Hello, Father.
Let me see if he's awake.
No, please don't disturb him.
Nonsense.
He'll be thrilled.
It means a lot that you're visiting.
You as well, I'm sure.
Are you hungry? I've already been fed a few times today.
It's a wonderful community, you know? It is.
I see you at church, but you don't seem very comfortable.
No.
That's not true.
You don't participate.
You keep to yourself.
You know, there are many ways to be involved.
There's a committee for the CYO dance.
And for selfish reasons, I would love to take advantage of your professional services again.
What do you mean? Publicity.
Last year's poster was girls in garlands dancing around a maypole.
I don't think that's what the kids want.
No.
They don't.
I'm so busy right now, Father.
Think of it as pro bono.
Talk to your boss.
I really would like the kids to show up.
He's ready to see you, Father.
I'll get you the specifics.
As of today, you are costing this company more than you are making it.
Excuse me? Tim Dunst called from Maytag.
Apparently, last night, their switchboard lit up like a Christmas tree.
- I didn't hear - You're head of the television department, so I know you can't watch everything.
But who exactly oversaw the placement of Maytag in The ABC Sunday Night Movie? Well, I take full responsibility.
There was a scene with a murderous Russian spy who was referred to as an agitator repeatedly, and this led into a Maytag spot, the title of which is "The Amazing Agitator.
" Really? Is this all a big joke to you? The Russians are still our enemy, you know.
This will not happen again.
Crane, we're eating this one.
Politics aside, you need to be aware that a client will take any excuse not to pay us.
You need to get your department in line, or I'll gut it.
Yes, sir.
I'll get to the bottom of this.
Hey, Harry, what's the name of that place we went to with the wallpaper and the kebabs? I don't remember.
Can one of you help me read TV scripts? For money? I don't think so.
There's too much to read, and I have nobody.
There are things to do that I didn't know were my job.
How could that be? You made that job up.
I thought I would be a liaison between the networks and the agency and, I don't know, buy time.
That's what your job was before.
So now what? It's a whole 'nother job.
That's why we have juniors.
Someone to blame.
You need someone to lay down on the barbed wire so you can run over them.
Heineken was pleased but confused.
By the fact that you don't use their product? That's why I brought Campbell.
So what's the problem? They're set on competing at the tap.
We just have to find a way to excite your average tavern inhabitant, and they'll be happy.
Did you explain to them that there's a market that's actually excited about Heineken being imported? For women entertaining in the home, Holland is Paris.
They can buy this sophisticated beer and proudly walk it into the kitchen instead of hiding it in the garage.
I'm just telling you I sensed resistance.
If you want to get some research, I'll get them into a room with you again.
Okay.
We'll go up and down the Hudson, northern New Jersey, Connecticut, the cash belt set up a few end-aisle displays at the A&Ps, away from the other beer, surrounded by cheese and crackers and toothpicks with cellophane tips.
We can try that.
Maybe short, uneven stacks.
Make it look popular.
Plus, housewives love green.
We'll go make some calls.
You're still going to have to sit down and sell this to them.
By the way, I hate to disappoint your wife, but I don't know about Sunday night.
I'd worry more about disappointing Roger.
He seemed to think it was important that we sit down with Crab Colson.
And believe me, I'm sure my wife would rather go see a movie.
Who's Crab Colson? Rogers & Cowan.
I'll get the time from your girl again.
Mr.
Sterling is here to see you.
Send him in, please.
- Roger.
- Crane.
Mitch says you want to expand your department.
Looks pretty big already.
Well, the way other television departments have this set up and I've checked on this there should be a dedicated man for Broadcast Operations.
And what is he dedicated to? Reading scripts, meetings to discuss.
I'm really the face of the television department for the clients.
Have you noticed we're full up? Who's going to pay this person, you? The money we save avoiding surprises will make it worthwhile.
You smoke, Crane? Sometimes.
How do I know you're not just goldbricking? Because that's what Mitch thinks.
I don't want to speak out of turn Warren, do you mind? I don't think Mitch has been very happy with my recent promotion.
Are you? Yes, of course.
Figure out a way to do the job yourself.
You better not repeat any of that to Mitch.
Peggy Olson's office.
May I speak with Miss Olson? This is Father John Gill calling.
Peggy Olson speaking.
Hello, Peggy.
This is Father John Gill.
Do you have a minute? Yes.
Did you get the flyer? Yes.
It's good, but can you take whatever this is and make it into a poster? What do you mean, whatever this is? Well, there's been some discussion.
Don't you like it? The CYO committee is curious about "A Night to Remember.
" What's the problem? Well, they feel it sends the wrong message to the girls.
It's wholesome and romantic.
And you have to get the girls.
It's the only way the boys will come.
Well Tell them that this is the way it works, and I know better than them.
Peggy, couldn't you just speak with them? They just want to feel involved.
Of course.
I'd love to hear their thoughts.
Good-bye, Father.
Good-bye.
Unlike some deodorants, Fresh doesn't promise you eternal romance.
Mr.
Crane, may I be of some assistance? I'm sorry.
What? I received a memo from Mr.
Sterling's office, saying that you needed a girl to help you with your workload.
No, that's not exactly what I asked for.
Well, I don't know what you had in mind, but we are spread very thin.
Hello, Joan.
Hello, Warren.
You You look great today.
Thank you, Warren.
I need someone to run our commercial scripts past the networks for approval.
Can't you just use a messenger? No.
That person also has to read the network scripts for me and really make sure our clients aren't misrepresented.
I don't feel comfortable sending my girls out of the building, but I will find someone to read the scripts.
My wife is pregnant.
I just want to get out of here at a reasonable hour.
How many are there? And what are they looking for? We just want to nip any problems in the bud.
For example, if a kid's pushing away his dinner in disgust, just make sure it's not Gorton's fish sticks.
You know, people can't be coughing and dying right before a Lucky ad.
Things like that.
It's common sense, really.
It sounds interesting.
It is.
For the first few.
And there's Maytag in there.
They're very sensitive to Communism.
Why can't I do that? Because you already have a job.
No.
I mean talk to her like that.
She's so much woman.
You are so graceful.
She is adorable.
They're doing Winnie the Pooh this year.
She's going to be Piglet.
It's all very professional-looking.
Cheryl's 14.
She won't even waltz on my feet anymore.
Ours is engaged.
Enjoy it while you can.
Crab, can I get you another one of those? Like the song says, I'd be a fool to say no.
- Roger? - Ladies first.
All right, the evening show is over.
Bedtime.
Say good-bye to everybody.
Good night.
Good night.
- Good night, slugger.
- Good night.
Hello.
Hello, Mrs.
Draper.
Betty.
These are beautiful.
I'm sorry I'm late.
My date cancelled.
You should have called.
I might have been able to replace her.
Carla, would you please put these in water? And our head count is now seven.
What a lovely home.
Hello, Duck.
I remember you, Sally.
Hello.
And who do we have here? This is Bobby.
Bobby, shake Mr.
Phillips' hand.
Do you like baseball, Bobby? Come on.
Let's go to bed.
Sorry I'm late.
I didn't want to come stag.
Nobody cares.
I don't know.
My wife hated odd numbers.
Well, hello, there.
Duck Phillips, you know Mona.
Of course.
Hello.
Of course this is Petra and Crab Colson.
Crab, Duck.
Duck, Crab.
Can I get you something? Tomato juice, if you have it.
Come on.
I'll have something with dinner.
Beautiful drive.
- Did you take the Sawmill? - I did.
Found myself heading to New Rochelle by accident.
I used to live there.
It's lovely there.
I'll tell you the way to go.
We're taking our sloop from my folks' place in Old Lyme all the way down to Larchmont for Race Week.
We should get a boat.
My father had a boat.
Almost killed him.
You might as well cut a hole in your pocket.
The slip and the dry dock and the yacht club.
Speaking of which, Don, are you and Bets joining Willow Oaks or not? We're lonely.
If you wish, you can leave your drinks here and join us in the dining room.
Terrific.
So, Rogers & Cowan.
It's a good place to be right now.
He does everything you need him to do, you know? Well, we took the road that goes to How did that get there? We're going to take a little trip around the world, starting in Spain with gazpacho, followed by Japan rumaki and then we'll stop by Duchess County for a leg of lamb, mint jelly, accompanied by egg noodles, the way my grandmother made them from Germany.
And we have a choice of burgundy from France or a frosted glass of beer from Holland.
Did you bring a case from work? No.
Oh, please, Draper.
You'll do anything to win an argument.
I don't understand.
You went out and bought that? At the store? Carla did some of the marketing, but no, I did.
Why? I'm not even allowed to pick where I sit.
What's so funny? Crab, if you want to be in business with someone who knows their stuff Heineken is one of our clients.
He said you were the market, and you are.
- That is funny.
- Incredible.
What an interesting experiment.
I have to sit down.
Please do.
Now who wants wine? Please start.
The soup is delicious.
To our hosts.
And their idyllic country home, and to new friends.
Hear, hear.
"A Night to Remember" is every girl's dream.
It holds the wholesome promise of the kind of hand-holding that eventually leads to marriage.
I think it's exactly what we talked about.
I don't like the way they're dancing.
They're too close together.
Maybe leave some room for the Holy Ghost.
Uh, maybe they're doing a box step.
Fine.
You're not worried about having a dance full of girls only? When the boys hear that the girls are going The boys aren't going to hear nothing.
They don't go to school together.
They go to church together.
And this isn't the first CYO event.
That's true.
I'd never thought about that, but you're right.
I'm just saying I'm not an expert, but there might be another slogan.
What do you want, two flyers? No.
We don't have to throw this one away, but maybe we can, um I think she's saying maybe we should try something else.
Thank you very much.
I'll see what I can do.
You're such a doll.
Could I speak to you a minute? Father, I wanted to talk to you, too.
We can speak tomorrow.
Thank you all for your generosity and your time.
Father, I don't mind working, but this is completely unnecessary.
Well, I don't understand.
Did you agree with them? The dancers could be farther apart, but you were very persuasive.
You don't have to agree with them.
In fact, you're not supposed to.
You asked me to do this based on my expertise.
Well, I'm not really on the committee.
I'm more of a liaison.
You're supposed to tell them that they should trust me.
That's your job.
They'll listen to you.
You're right.
I'm sorry this is so much work.
No, I can turn it around.
And the copy machine? Yes, I cleared it.
I'm sorry, Father.
I don't mean to be disrespectful.
I'm very tired.
We'll both be prepared next time.
Come on.
Good night, Peggy.
I really am glad you're here.
Me, too.
You didn't set the table? I'm sorry.
You came back so fast.
I'll get plates.
You're not going to believe what happens on As the World Turns.
You're right about that.
Let me ask you something.
Is it possible for someone to come out of a coma and have no recollection of who they are? Honestly, people don't come out of comas much.
Really? So it's also probably ridiculous they would have an accent they didn't have beforehand? Yes.
Well, it must have happened to somebody.
I mean, they wouldn't make it up completely, right? Probably once.
Makes a good story.
I'm going to get my drink.
Do you want something? Water.
I didn't know you were such a reader.
It's part of my job.
I thought you just walked around with people staring at you.
You.
What are you bothering with that for? You should be looking for a house.
What happened to your fascination with Glen Cove? You told me to stop looking.
Well, I just need to finish my training.
Joanie, you should be watching those shows, not reading them, with a box of bonbons on your lap to soothe your cravings.
It's a hoot.
I guess that's okay.
I'm glad you approve.
Were you going to get me a glass of water, hon? Of course.
Hey, Chuck, you're gonna have to wear a tag on your shirt.
I won't know you Carla, why don't you go home? We can do all this in the morning.
That jam will set.
Let me at least put the dishes in the basin.
That's a good idea.
If you want, you can go to bed.
I'll show myself out, call Louis to pick me up.
It's okay.
We had a long day.
Thank you for all your help.
Good night, Mr.
Draper.
Good night, Carla.
It was a great success.
Molly Horton is a paying customer on this one.
I'm with you, Major.
Running a wagon train is a Hey.
You embarrassed me.
What are you talking about? You embarrassed me.
What did I do? You knew I would buy that beer.
So what? Because you know me so well.
You know everything about me.
Bets, I use our life all the time in my work.
They pay me for that.
And then you laughed.
You all laughed.
Must be so funny being in on it.
Come on.
You're taking this the wrong way.
You embarrassed me.
I'm sorry.
I didn't mean it.
You never mean it.
You just do whatever you want, and I put up with it because nobody knows.
No one is going to remember that.
You know what they're going to remember? Petra Colson missing her chair.
Come on.
Leave this.
You're tired.
Let's go upstairs.
I'm not going to bed.
Not until you tell me why you insist on humiliating me.
Betty, I can't talk to you when you're like this.
You're making a mountain out of a molehill.
I know about you and that woman.
What? Damn it, Don, I know you're having an affair.
You and Bobbie Barrett.
What? How could you? She's so old.
Betty, that's ridiculous.
I'm just telling you I know.
Fine, Bets.
What do you know? Go ahead.
Tell me.
Jimmy told me everything.
Jimmy.
He hates me.
He told me everything.
Please.
What the hell did he say? So you can pick it apart? Twist all my words? I'm not going to dignify Jimmy Barrett with a response.
He's a big mouth.
And don't pretend I don't know how he looks at you.
I saw you two together.
You think you know me? Well, I know what kind of a man you are.
You think I would sleep with that woman? You can't help yourself.
Admit it.
There's nothing to admit.
You're lying.
I'm going to bed.
Good morning.
Good morning, Daddy.
Mommy said the party was fun.
Did she? Okay.
Bye-bye.
Bye-bye.
Bye, Daddy.
Aren't you going to be a daddy soon? I've done my part.
The rest is up to her.
Don't pay attention to that due date.
It'll drive you nuts.
- D Day.
- Hello.
This is Mr.
Pastern and Mr.
Kostis from Maytag.
- Are we all better now? - Yes.
Process seems to be streamlined.
Wait a minute.
Is she the one we spoke to on the phone? Yes.
Joan is handling Broadcast Operations.
I had no idea.
I would have combed my hair before I called you.
I've got next week's scripts.
Don't hold anything back now.
She won't.
Well, it was nice to meet both of you in person.
Indeed.
Hell of an operation you've got here, Crane.
I think so.
Gentlemen.
Phil.
Good to see you, as always.
Francis.
Can we get you something? We've got a fridge full of Heineken out there.
No.
It's 11 a.
m.
, for Pete's sake.
Well, thanks for coming by.
We were just so excited, I thought you should hear it from the horse's mouth.
What exactly happened? Well We explained to you before that research shows that with the rise in commuters and the relative scarcity of suburban bars, people are drinking more in the home.
Yes, we heard you.
Entertaining housewives, et cetera.
We're not against it.
We just think our money would be spent better elsewhere.
And honestly, I agree with you, but, well, we ran a little test, and the results were very enlightening.
Don? We targeted a few wealthy suburban markets with woman-friendly end-aisle displays.
Was there a spike? The sample was very small, but what we put out sold well.
More important was who it sold to.
This is an untapped market where you dictate the competition.
I think I can say this because Don's being modest.
Don's wife, she's a peach of a girl.
They had a dinner party.
We're talking days after placement, and she had this elaborate, elegant setup foods from around the globe.
And sure enough, there was your Heineken, right next to the bone china and the polished sterling.
It was incredible.
Not exactly scientific.
Although it sounds like you do know your wife.
She's exactly who we're after well-off, educated, with plenty of time to shop.
And it's important for her that she's the perfect hostess, the perfect wife.
We even talked about using her menu verbatim in selected ladies' magazines.
Really? We haven't been there yet.
No, but it's what I've been pushing for.
And so I take your word on this? Why would I lie? We're the ones who are going to have to deliver.
I guess we could throw it in the mix.
Let's start regional.
See how some strangers' wives feel.
I would recommend buying air time during Love of Life.
Women watching TV during the day like to fantasize about having active lifestyles.
They like where they could be going with Sea & Ski.
And they watch every day.
I know my daughter missed a lot of classes in college for her stories.
My wife brought the TV home.
There you go.
Mr.
Hansen, I don't know how Mr.
Crane feels about this, but I've been reading the scripts, and I just have to say As the World Turns is about to become unmissable.
I don't want to give it away, but someone people think is dead is not.
I'm glad you like it, but they all do the same things, don't they? No.
Not at all.
This is what they call a special summer storyline, and I've spoken to Logan Reynolds over at CBS, and it's going to receive a lot of promotion.
Is it the same price? Well, they're all close.
This sounds better.
Well, if you lock them in at this rating and then they exceed it, there's a bang for your buck factor, isn't there? I would say so.
Then you should do that.
I think you'll be pleased.
That's why I didn't want to do this on the phone.
I love what she says, and I love the way she says it.
Let me walk you out.
Are you okay, Mommy? I'm okay, sweetheart.
I'm just not feeling very well.
Do you want some aspirin? No, Sally.
I'm just going to rest a little bit, okay? Go play with your brother.
Okay.
Shit.
Crane, thanks for squeezing me in.
You said 4:30.
Hell, is it only 4:30? Sorry about that.
Listen, I'll be brief, since it appears I'm on my way out.
I've received a lot of unsolicited phone calls.
Simply put, the customers are satisfied, and so is the accounting department.
Keep up the good work.
Well, I'm not doing it on my own.
Right.
That's true, isn't it? Why don't we get those secretaries back to their regular jobs? It's just Joan Holloway, actually.
So her attentions are divided at best.
Make it a full-time position, 150 a week, and he has to share an office.
Sounds perfect.
Hello.
Where are the kids? Bed.
What happened here? Nothing.
Nothing happened here.
I went through every pocket and every drawer, and there's nothing.
Would you stop? How much have you had to drink? I don't even know why I bother looking.
All I found were stacks of cocktail napkins with stupid advertising on them.
What are you doing, Bets? I would never do this to you.
How could you do this to me? I didn't do anything.
Don.
What time is it? I don't want it to be like this.
Me, either.
I don't know what to do.
Don't.
Nothing happened.
Now you look me in the eye.
You never do that.
Yes, I do.
You never say you love me.
Yes, I do.
You know I do.
I say it all the time.
No, you don't.
Do you hate me? God, no.
I love you, Bets.
I do.
And I love the children.
I don't want to lose all this.
This is a very impressive operation.
It's Madison Avenue.
Look at this.
Did we get Miracle Whip? I don't know.
Makes a lot of sense.
She's an undercover nun.
So, Turk doesn't know which way to turn, he's so drunk, so finally he stops.
We get out of the car, and the sign says "Bridge Out.
" - Hello, Joan.
- You wanted to see me? Joan, this is Danny Lindstrom.
Dan.
He's going to be in charge of Broadcast Operations.
Excuse me? I've really appreciated you filling in.
I couldn't have asked for more.
Joan knows everything about this.
Well, that makes one of us.
I've already given him next week's scripts.
It would be great if you could fill him in on how it works.
Right now? Why not? Are you busy? No.
Not at all.
It's really just reading the scripts, all of them, and looking through the storylines to see if there's any possible benefits to our clients, how their products may be portrayed to their advantage, and, of course, getting the cooperation of the networks.
That's pretty much what I said.
Not exactly.
Listen, you're going to be around to help with the details, right? Yes, of course.
Anything else? No, Joan.
And thank you again.
This is wonderful.
It's completely automatic.
I just leave it.
If you set the number.
You know, don't think we don't know how lucky we are having you do this for us.
Thank you.
It's nice to be included.
Peggy, do you have something you need to talk about? Excuse me? Well, I've noticed that you don't take Communion.
And I don't think it's too much of a leap to ask if there's something you need to talk about.
No.
God already knows whatever it is, Peggy.
Well, then I don't need to talk.
Well, I'm here right now.
Father, don't take this the wrong way, but I don't think you'd understand.
God is bigger than what we were raised on.
Father, you don't have to live life like the rest of us.
Maybe you're lucky.
I've lived life.
I wasn't born a priest.
Of course not.
You know, when you distance yourself from the church, you are distancing yourself from everything.
That's why it's called Communion, you know.
It's not just being with God.
It's being with people.
I know that.
Well, then, why are you pushing everyone away? I'm not.
There is no sin too great to bring to God.
You can reconcile yourself with him and have a whole new start.
You're a smart, beautiful young girl.
You have so much to offer.
Do you feel you don't deserve his love? Your copies are done.
I'll put them in a box for you.
There you go.
Thank you very much, Peggy.
I'll see you on Sunday? Yes, of course.
Welcome to the club.
So I pulled Sylvia's hair and treated her mean.
She ran after me all the time, and every day she took me down to the malt shop to split a soda with her.
And just like that, I lose her.
How do you know you lost her? Today I walked into the malt shop, and there was another guy at the end of my straw.
Imagine my horror when a night on the town turned ugly.
This is a nice place for nice people.
And the jerk behind the bar, he throws a bowl of nuts at me.
What am I, a squirrel? Lucky for him, I carry my own wherever I go.
Am I crazy? I don't think so.
Just you try and stick your face into a can of nuts.
Take it from a nut.
Utz are better than nuts.
We have chains in almost every suburban market on the East Coast, plus Chicago, Cleveland.
It's a vote of confidence.
Mrs.
Draper is on the line.
I got to take this.
Thank her again for me.
Hello.
Don't come home.
What? I don't care what you do.
I just don't want you here.
- Betty.
- Don, I don't want to see you.
Well, early in the morning About the break of day I asked the Lord Help me find the way Help me find the way To the Promised Land This lonely body needs a helping hand I asked the Lord to help me, please Find the way When a new day's a-dawning I bow my head in prayer I pray to the Lord Won't you lead me there? Won't you guide me safely to the golden stair? Won't you let this body Your burden share? I pray to the Lord Won't you lead me, please? Lead me there Subtitled By J.
R.
Media Services, Inc.
Burbank, CA