Metalocalypse (2006) s02e08 Episode Script
P.R. Pickles
Welcome back to "Cash-tastrophe," the game where you win money or get killed with cash.
If your celebrity-helper pal, Pickles can answer this final question correctly you will see $1 million dropped from our rafters and it will all be yours.
However, if you answer wrong, you know Killed with cash.
I'm really a little nervous.
But, you know, my P.
R.
Lady.
says I should be doing this kind of stuff.
But, you know, whatever.
So, for $1 million What is this show? S- so, for $1 million or death, here's your question.
Ooh, that's a tough question.
Ah, I thinks it's the suns! It's a stupid question! It could be anything! Ah, Pickle don't look good.
Pickle looks scared.
He's fine.
This is outstanding exposure.
Who the hell is this lady? Oh, that's Pickle new P.
R.
Lady.
She's not a groupie? - No.
- Never mind, then.
Okay, Pickles, time's up.
What's your answer? Pickles: Man, I got to say that's a hard question but here's the answer the Earth.
The Earth is no longer considered a planet.
Am I am I right? No, I'm sorry.
Your celebrity-helper pal didn't help you.
The correct answer is Pluto.
Pluto? Really? Prepared to be killed with cash.
No, no! Aaaaah! This is great exposure.
# Do anything for Dethklok # # Do anything for Dethklok # # Do anything for Dethklok # # Do anything for Dethklok # # Dethklok! Dethklok! Dethklok! Dethklok! # This is Liz Bane Alias Liz Blackfin.
Alias Liz Deatheyes.
religious radical from the '70s.
She's credited with starting dozens of cults.
Her biggest cult was the Order of the Dybbuks.
They believed they would achieve immortality.
by taking over the bodies of French people.
In 1973, 28 Dybbuks walk into a crowded Parisian café on the Champs-Élysées.
They pull out ceremonial daggers.
and massacred a hundred French citizens.
It was a bloodbath.
Yes, and somehow Miss Bane was cleared of all charges.
Then a few years ago, she started a public-relations firm.
called the Exodus P.
R.
Firm.
Bane is concocting something beyond public relations.
We want our own P.
R.
Person like Pickles has.
But I am a P.
R.
Person.
But we want a real P.
R.
Person.
I am a real P.
R.
Person.
No, we wants a real P.
R.
Person.
I am a real P.
R.
Person.
But we wants a lady! I Fine.
And look who's here.
It's the guy who's everywhere now Dethklok's drummer, Pickles along with his publicist, Liz Bane.
Your face is everywhere these days.
People are calling you the most popular member of Dethklok.
How does that make you feel? Yeah, two words drunk and horny.
Pickles is out there having the time of his life.
- He's everywhere.
- I know, I know.
They say there's no such thing as bad publicity but I happen to think you can do yourself a disservice.
And the winner goes to "Cinnamon Buns," starring Pickles, the drummer directed by Vodka and Beer And Why don't we just start our own P.
R.
? Ja, all's it is is telling somebody something and that's what I does right now.
Yeah, then we should do it the three of us, right? Yeah, let's do it.
Yeah, let's do it.
Hey, how comes you don't ask me? The three? It's like the four of us.
You're all the way over there.
You we couldn't even see you.
I just heards everything and I just wants to be a parts of it, too! Toki, you'res too lates.
That's what you get for trying to play video games.
I stands right here and you just excludes me on purpose.
You know it.
That's bad P.
R.
Right there.
Now, we all know Dethklok's music but we usually don't see you guys unless.
you're releasing a CD or you're on tour.
Why the sudden change? Well, I think, you know that some people think that you can't be doing things.
like that because, it's like "ohh, you're gonna say something that You douche bag!" Let me ask you, what does the most successful drummer.
in history do to relax? That's a good question.
Well, you know, sometimes I go s-sit down.
Sometimes I-I sit I lay down.
Sometimes I close my eyes.
Sometimes I get a book, you know? A- and sometimes I look at a TV screen.
So, that was okay I mean Right? Okay? It was great.
Well, I thought you might be mad because you know, I-I could tell a couple of times.
I might have been slurring just a little bit.
'cause I had a drink beforehand.
You've been behind that drum kit for way too long, Pickles.
This is your time.
It's time for Pickles.
Now, publicity is all about being seen.
Okay, okay, that's a good point because.
what I was gonna say is publicity.
is all about being seen.
I thought I was running this meeting! You just repeated! Oh, I'm sorry.
You're right Please.
We need to get our faces out to where everybody can see us.
Likes Pickle on TV.
Exactly, but everybody goes on TV.
Yeah, everyone goes on TV.
Everyone does.
Yeah, that's my point.
Everybody goes on TV! Everyone's already on there.
Why would you want to do that? Yes, okay.
Go the other way.
Yes, we need to go where Where nobody's gone yet.
TOKl: Oh, radios! Toki, get out of here! You're not in the P.
R.
Club.
It's the stupidest P.
R.
Club! It doesn't work! Can you just I'm running this meeting! We need to get seen somewhere that's not on TV.
Pickles the drummer's now the most in-demand celebrity alive and that's an amazing feat for Pickles but almost a bigger feat for the Exodus P.
R.
Firm now the world's largest.
The remaining members of Dethklok.
are getting in on this action starting their own brutal P.
R.
Firm.
Hey, good luck, boys.
That's the Dethklok minute.
Now, store openings are always good exposure lots of press.
Oh, I'm gonna gets me a juice with carrots and grapes.
Ohh, Toki.
Are we supposed to send this press releases to the press? I mean, I think that's why they call it a press release.
Am I right? You mean you don't know? No, I don't.
You really don't know? Holy shit! You're Nathan Explosion! Beat it, kid.
He's not who you think I'm saying he isn't.
It's not him, okay? But I thought we were supposed to have exposure.
Look, if word gets out that we're here the press will be all over us and that'll just defeat our purpose.
Guys, I gots an ideas.
We should promote somewhere's else.
where likes where no one else promoteds before! Aah! I've, uh, been looking over your purchases.
since you started doing your own publicity.
You've spent $17 million.
So? I'm just saying I don't think it's the best use of your money.
It hasn't increased sales whatsoever.
Nice work, guys.
What are we doing wrong? I mean, look, Pickles is everywhere.
What's he got that we ain'ts got? Looks at this.
Pickles can't bake.
Have you ever had his chocolate-coconut macaroons? Hey, guys.
Hey, look, that's Pickles just likes on the magazine! Hey, Pickles.
Yeah, you's the drummer, right? Look, my hair's standing up on end.
Yeah, he's shorter than I thought wait a minute! I already know you.
I got us a gig.
It's, uh, you know, a favor for my publicist.
What do you think? Oh, yeah, we'll do it.
- You bet! - Oh, thanks, guys.
Uh, I'll see ya cool.
It's been so busy lately, Pickles.
We haven't had a chance to really talk.
Oh, hey, I got you a gift.
It's a calendar.
You know, it's that guy who gets those gray dogs.
and dresses them up in clothes, you know, humiliates them.
That's very sweet, Pickles however, I no longer have any use for Earth calendars.
But never mind that.
Thank you.
Earth calendars? I have a little something for you, too.
You were a great find.
Because of your popularity we've recruited a lot of members I mean clients.
Okay, then.
I'm gonna get going.
I'll see you tonight at the show.
Yes, tonight.
Don't be late.
Pickles.
Yeah? I'll see you tonight.
Oka-a-y.
Goodbye.
What do they gots there, grapes drink? Yeah, they're drinking some grape drink.
It's awesome.
That's pretty fancy grape drink.
How come they gets to have grapes drink? How come we can't have any grape drink? That's not fair.
Pickles, you're late.
- We have to hurry.
- Okay.
- Time is running out! - Okay.
- This is our destiny! - Okay.
Hey, let's just play this show and get out of here.
We got any songs with "destiny" in the title? Um, no, but I could stick it in.
It's doesn't matter.
No one can understand what I'm saying, anyway.
# Racing through time # # Souls pray, lead blind interstellar mutilation # # Comets speed forth # # Bring death for earth time # # For your next destination # # Galactic death hunts # # Flies # # Pushes through time/space dimensions # # It's seeking blood # # Flesh, souls, as slaves # # To take into hell # # In outer space # # Your time is coming tonight # # You'll be killed at the speed of light # # Destiny you can't fight # # Crushed by comets transmogrified # # Death will bring you new life # # A slave forever on a planet of death # # A thousand years since the comet took flight # # Your destiny is pain forever # Holy.
Oh, boy.
What a great Dethklok minute.
Hey Aaah! Chirp.
If your celebrity-helper pal, Pickles can answer this final question correctly you will see $1 million dropped from our rafters and it will all be yours.
However, if you answer wrong, you know Killed with cash.
I'm really a little nervous.
But, you know, my P.
R.
Lady.
says I should be doing this kind of stuff.
But, you know, whatever.
So, for $1 million What is this show? S- so, for $1 million or death, here's your question.
Ooh, that's a tough question.
Ah, I thinks it's the suns! It's a stupid question! It could be anything! Ah, Pickle don't look good.
Pickle looks scared.
He's fine.
This is outstanding exposure.
Who the hell is this lady? Oh, that's Pickle new P.
R.
Lady.
She's not a groupie? - No.
- Never mind, then.
Okay, Pickles, time's up.
What's your answer? Pickles: Man, I got to say that's a hard question but here's the answer the Earth.
The Earth is no longer considered a planet.
Am I am I right? No, I'm sorry.
Your celebrity-helper pal didn't help you.
The correct answer is Pluto.
Pluto? Really? Prepared to be killed with cash.
No, no! Aaaaah! This is great exposure.
# Do anything for Dethklok # # Do anything for Dethklok # # Do anything for Dethklok # # Do anything for Dethklok # # Dethklok! Dethklok! Dethklok! Dethklok! # This is Liz Bane Alias Liz Blackfin.
Alias Liz Deatheyes.
religious radical from the '70s.
She's credited with starting dozens of cults.
Her biggest cult was the Order of the Dybbuks.
They believed they would achieve immortality.
by taking over the bodies of French people.
In 1973, 28 Dybbuks walk into a crowded Parisian café on the Champs-Élysées.
They pull out ceremonial daggers.
and massacred a hundred French citizens.
It was a bloodbath.
Yes, and somehow Miss Bane was cleared of all charges.
Then a few years ago, she started a public-relations firm.
called the Exodus P.
R.
Firm.
Bane is concocting something beyond public relations.
We want our own P.
R.
Person like Pickles has.
But I am a P.
R.
Person.
But we want a real P.
R.
Person.
I am a real P.
R.
Person.
No, we wants a real P.
R.
Person.
I am a real P.
R.
Person.
But we wants a lady! I Fine.
And look who's here.
It's the guy who's everywhere now Dethklok's drummer, Pickles along with his publicist, Liz Bane.
Your face is everywhere these days.
People are calling you the most popular member of Dethklok.
How does that make you feel? Yeah, two words drunk and horny.
Pickles is out there having the time of his life.
- He's everywhere.
- I know, I know.
They say there's no such thing as bad publicity but I happen to think you can do yourself a disservice.
And the winner goes to "Cinnamon Buns," starring Pickles, the drummer directed by Vodka and Beer And Why don't we just start our own P.
R.
? Ja, all's it is is telling somebody something and that's what I does right now.
Yeah, then we should do it the three of us, right? Yeah, let's do it.
Yeah, let's do it.
Hey, how comes you don't ask me? The three? It's like the four of us.
You're all the way over there.
You we couldn't even see you.
I just heards everything and I just wants to be a parts of it, too! Toki, you'res too lates.
That's what you get for trying to play video games.
I stands right here and you just excludes me on purpose.
You know it.
That's bad P.
R.
Right there.
Now, we all know Dethklok's music but we usually don't see you guys unless.
you're releasing a CD or you're on tour.
Why the sudden change? Well, I think, you know that some people think that you can't be doing things.
like that because, it's like "ohh, you're gonna say something that You douche bag!" Let me ask you, what does the most successful drummer.
in history do to relax? That's a good question.
Well, you know, sometimes I go s-sit down.
Sometimes I-I sit I lay down.
Sometimes I close my eyes.
Sometimes I get a book, you know? A- and sometimes I look at a TV screen.
So, that was okay I mean Right? Okay? It was great.
Well, I thought you might be mad because you know, I-I could tell a couple of times.
I might have been slurring just a little bit.
'cause I had a drink beforehand.
You've been behind that drum kit for way too long, Pickles.
This is your time.
It's time for Pickles.
Now, publicity is all about being seen.
Okay, okay, that's a good point because.
what I was gonna say is publicity.
is all about being seen.
I thought I was running this meeting! You just repeated! Oh, I'm sorry.
You're right Please.
We need to get our faces out to where everybody can see us.
Likes Pickle on TV.
Exactly, but everybody goes on TV.
Yeah, everyone goes on TV.
Everyone does.
Yeah, that's my point.
Everybody goes on TV! Everyone's already on there.
Why would you want to do that? Yes, okay.
Go the other way.
Yes, we need to go where Where nobody's gone yet.
TOKl: Oh, radios! Toki, get out of here! You're not in the P.
R.
Club.
It's the stupidest P.
R.
Club! It doesn't work! Can you just I'm running this meeting! We need to get seen somewhere that's not on TV.
Pickles the drummer's now the most in-demand celebrity alive and that's an amazing feat for Pickles but almost a bigger feat for the Exodus P.
R.
Firm now the world's largest.
The remaining members of Dethklok.
are getting in on this action starting their own brutal P.
R.
Firm.
Hey, good luck, boys.
That's the Dethklok minute.
Now, store openings are always good exposure lots of press.
Oh, I'm gonna gets me a juice with carrots and grapes.
Ohh, Toki.
Are we supposed to send this press releases to the press? I mean, I think that's why they call it a press release.
Am I right? You mean you don't know? No, I don't.
You really don't know? Holy shit! You're Nathan Explosion! Beat it, kid.
He's not who you think I'm saying he isn't.
It's not him, okay? But I thought we were supposed to have exposure.
Look, if word gets out that we're here the press will be all over us and that'll just defeat our purpose.
Guys, I gots an ideas.
We should promote somewhere's else.
where likes where no one else promoteds before! Aah! I've, uh, been looking over your purchases.
since you started doing your own publicity.
You've spent $17 million.
So? I'm just saying I don't think it's the best use of your money.
It hasn't increased sales whatsoever.
Nice work, guys.
What are we doing wrong? I mean, look, Pickles is everywhere.
What's he got that we ain'ts got? Looks at this.
Pickles can't bake.
Have you ever had his chocolate-coconut macaroons? Hey, guys.
Hey, look, that's Pickles just likes on the magazine! Hey, Pickles.
Yeah, you's the drummer, right? Look, my hair's standing up on end.
Yeah, he's shorter than I thought wait a minute! I already know you.
I got us a gig.
It's, uh, you know, a favor for my publicist.
What do you think? Oh, yeah, we'll do it.
- You bet! - Oh, thanks, guys.
Uh, I'll see ya cool.
It's been so busy lately, Pickles.
We haven't had a chance to really talk.
Oh, hey, I got you a gift.
It's a calendar.
You know, it's that guy who gets those gray dogs.
and dresses them up in clothes, you know, humiliates them.
That's very sweet, Pickles however, I no longer have any use for Earth calendars.
But never mind that.
Thank you.
Earth calendars? I have a little something for you, too.
You were a great find.
Because of your popularity we've recruited a lot of members I mean clients.
Okay, then.
I'm gonna get going.
I'll see you tonight at the show.
Yes, tonight.
Don't be late.
Pickles.
Yeah? I'll see you tonight.
Oka-a-y.
Goodbye.
What do they gots there, grapes drink? Yeah, they're drinking some grape drink.
It's awesome.
That's pretty fancy grape drink.
How come they gets to have grapes drink? How come we can't have any grape drink? That's not fair.
Pickles, you're late.
- We have to hurry.
- Okay.
- Time is running out! - Okay.
- This is our destiny! - Okay.
Hey, let's just play this show and get out of here.
We got any songs with "destiny" in the title? Um, no, but I could stick it in.
It's doesn't matter.
No one can understand what I'm saying, anyway.
# Racing through time # # Souls pray, lead blind interstellar mutilation # # Comets speed forth # # Bring death for earth time # # For your next destination # # Galactic death hunts # # Flies # # Pushes through time/space dimensions # # It's seeking blood # # Flesh, souls, as slaves # # To take into hell # # In outer space # # Your time is coming tonight # # You'll be killed at the speed of light # # Destiny you can't fight # # Crushed by comets transmogrified # # Death will bring you new life # # A slave forever on a planet of death # # A thousand years since the comet took flight # # Your destiny is pain forever # Holy.
Oh, boy.
What a great Dethklok minute.
Hey Aaah! Chirp.