My Babysitter's a Vampire (2011) s02e08 Episode Script

(Hisses) (Motor whirring) Where are those guys? I don't know, but they're missing Taco Tuesday.
Not wise.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Would you like a taco? I must be a gentleman.
Ewe, don't talk with your mouth full.
She's the girl next door.
Nice but naughty, a heart that's pure.
She's the girl next door.
Just for me.
What you get is what you see.
No more "maybe it's Maybelline".
She can give you everything you need.
She's the girl next door.
Nice but naughty, a heart that's pure.
She's the girl next door.
Just for me.
Mom: Okay, here we go.
Don't you think you guys are getting a bit old for milk and cookies? Maybe.
But you're never too old for a cookie sandwich! Mmm.
Just when I think you've found every way there is to be disgusting, you find another one.
Yeah, I know, right? Grow up, Benny.
Hello? Oh, hi, Evelyn.
Come on in, what brings you here? Well, I just wanted to make sure that Benny isn't making a mess.
Oh! - Do you have any napkins? - Stay put, no problem.
I'll get some.
Grandma! Well? What do you have to say for yourselves? It's an easy explanation.
Sarah didn't believe in trolls and Ethan bet me I couldn't conjure one.
What was I supposed to do? You didn't conjure a troll.
You conjured a toll.
It cost me five bucks to get out of my living room.
Ha! Told you you couldn't do it! (Sighs) Here we go.
Grandma: Oh, Benny! Can one of you two do that? Hmm? No, all I do is fight everything while you hide.
You hide every time that stupid robot dentist movie is on.
Hey! Cyberdontist came to this planet to fill our cavities with pain! And at least I'm not hiding from myself.
What's that supposed to mean? That you're a Vampire who's afraid to bite people.
- What? He said it, I didn't! - And you're so perfect? I'm just saying.
Between Benny's misspelled magic and your smash-happy strategy.
.
You'd both fail without my bulletproof genius plans.
Stop! You three are a team! It's in the hall closet.
I sense a coming darkness.
(Thunder rumbling) A force so powerful, so evil.
.
That none of you stand a chance against it alone.
Only by working together can.
.
You have to work together! Yeah.
(Sighs) Did you guys hear that thunder? Ugh.
Mom! Milk's gone bad.
Mom? Dad? Jane, I made you cereal! Jane? (Chuckles) (Belching loudly) Ooh! Okay, that one's on me, boys.
That one's on me.
Okay, either I'm really late or I'm really early.
No way.
I thought the school trip to the candy factory was next week! Hey, Rory.
- What is that? - Vampire sasquatch! Can you believe they canceled the show after just nine seasons? Yeah.
Anyway, have you seen Sarah? - Yes! - Today? No.
(Sighs) I want to run for Vampire Council party planner, but I need two other vamps to sign for me in their blood.
Speaking of which.
.
Ow! Wait.
As Vampire Council member, what will you do to help our fangy community? First, I can start by making sure your furry friend's head stays on his body.
But his head's already on his body.
Oh.
Nice try, Erica, but he's a Vampire.
He'll just regenerate.
Fine.
What will it take? Hang out with me! For some reason, Ethan and Benny aren't around.
What's that, buddy? I know! It is strange! - Hello? - Hello? Hello? Benny? Did you do this? Benny? Did you read a spell backwards again? Did I do this? This feels like something I did.
I bet that disappearing spell went wrong.
.
Or everyone turned invisible.
.
Or I made everyone silent and tiny.
And I'm their overseer.
I'm alone.
Sarah: Ethan? Hello? Ethan! (Static crackling) Benny, is that you? I don't know what's going on, but I'm out of here! Huh.
No phone.
No Internet.
No people.
Okay, Ethan, you're trapped alone in some sort of pocket dimension.
You need a genius plan.
But maybe not right away.
My favorite class.
Fries! Playing hooky, are we? That's not the Sarah I know.
You look like me.
Yeah, kind of.
Except I'm stronger, faster, cooler.
I'm the you that you're too chicken to be.
(Hisses) (Feedback whining) They're the Heckbots!.
Their hearts are made of steel! Their guts are.
.
Mmm.
Mmm.
Mmm! Well, gotta have balance.
Mm.
Mmm.
Woo! Number one Principal? Guess they couldn't fit the word "worst" in there.
Boom! Uh, don't you two have class? Principal Hicks? Who said that? Principal Hicks, you've gotta help me! I'm trapped in some sort of.
.
Hello? Who is this voice? Please, leave my head! What's going on? Out! Out! Get out! Stop it! If there's somebody in his head, they must be pretty small.
Yeah.
No.
How can Principal Hicks hear me? (Gasps) Mr.
G's right.
I am my own worst enemy.
Hi! What do you want from me? I want you to stop running from yourself.
Fine.
I'm done running.
Like I didn't see that coming.
If I did this, I'm awesome.
(Motor whirring) Cyberdontist? (In robotic voice) Brace yourself.
By my calculations, it is time for a checkup! I knew this would happen someday.
But I'm ready.
Technologos bremnar gremath! (Chuckles) Illogical human.
Dentists are immune to magic.
Now open wide! (Screams) Benny, can you hear me? No.
Ah! Benny, you in there? No.
Ewe.
Benny? Ethan: Benny, Benny, can you hear me? Benny? Ethan? Why are you shouting inside my brain? What's going on? You tell me! Didn't you do this? Me? Oh, sure, blame Benny.
Look, we're stuck in our own universes! But for some reason, when I hold your gym shorts I can talk to you.
You're talking into my gym shorts? Ugh, worst cell phone ever! Yeah.
Why the gym shorts? What's so special about them? Nothing.
I hate gym! More than anything! Whenever I put those shorts on, I'm wearing a cotton-shame blend! That must be it.
It's an emotional connection.
Hang on, I'm gonna try something, okay? (Motor whirring) According to my data, you know the drill! (Screams) (Drill whirring) (Panting) Ah! Oh! Mr.
Scopey! Benny, remember him? Of course.
Remember when Principal Hicks confiscated it, you screamed, "not Mr.
Scopey!" Got it! Hicks took Sarah's makeup thing last week.
She got really upset about it.
I guess if you can't see your reflection, it's nice to remember what you look like.
Ethan? Why can I hear you? Because he's holding your makeup thing! Benny? Sarah, where are you? Where are you? There's no one in this town.
Anywhere.
Except for my evil twin who's hunting me.
At least your problem is hot! I'm being chased by Cyberdontist.
That drill is a lot scarier up close.
Wait, so you're both being attacked? I'm completely alone.
Lucky you.
Look, guys, I've got an idea.
Just meet me in the lounge as soon as you can, okay? Okay.
Now there's a guy in a cloak.
Without a face.
Okay, guys, I am so caught up with you now! Benny, Sarah, I can see you guys! Can you see me? Barely.
Is that my compact? Yeah, grab onto it! Benny, grab your shorts.
These ones.
(All grunting) Okay, now we're trapped here together.
Not much of an upgrade.
Guys, we have to move.
I'm being chased by a guy with no face and a lot of fireballs.
(Drill whirring) You know, I liked it better when it was just me and Doctor silver pants.
(Hisses) I can't believe it.
My worst nightmare, a fire juggler.
.
And a way cooler version of Sarah.
Hey! Guys, at least we'll be destroyed together.
That's the upside here? I agreed to hang out with you.
Not you and your dolly.
What's that, Vampire sasquatch? Yeah, Erica is being a little snooty.
I don't think I'll sign that council thingy.
(Hisses) You're right, buddy.
Her fangs are too big for her face.
Who could vote for that? (Whispering) Come on, Benny.
(Motors whirring) (Door handle rattling) So we're just gonna stand here and wait? We're not waiting.
We're hiding.
It's a much better plan.
I should just go out there and.
.
And do what? Get roughed up by yourself? Hey, you can't even magic yourself out of a dentist appointment! Guys, this isn't helping! Well, why don't you go out there and touch Hoodie McFirehands and get a vision? Spoiler alert.
He'll cook me.
Oh.
(Sighs) Look, we can't defeat them by ourselves.
We have to come at them together.
Sarah, how can we stop you? That's not me.
That's the me I don't want to be.
- Why not? - Why not? Because she doesn't have a conscience and she eats people! Okay, let's start with that! Benny: I ran the most track today.
My blood is pumping like crazy.
(Sniffs) (Both grunting) Ethan: Ow! Our weak human bodies cannot run any farther.
Mmm.
I could use a lunch break.
Lunch is so served! (Hisses) Wait.
Where's my lame-o look-alike? Uh.
.
I'm too full of delicious blood to answer.
Yeah, so much blood.
Well, I guess I could dine and dash.
(Hisses) That's one down.
Too bad.
Kind of liked her boots.
(Whispers) For the record, she had a much hotter look.
- Benny! - What? Hey! I think I do pretty well for someone who can't use a mirror.
Point taken.
Sarah: Magic doesn't work on dentists? Benny: He's not just a dentist.
He's a computer.
And computers are all about logic, so maybe that's where we hit him.
I'd rather hit him with a train, but that's okay.
This is animal cruelty to you, right? (Growling) Hey cyber-dork! Why do we park in a driveway and drive in a parkway? (Stuttering) I.
.
Your mission is not to accept this mission! Do you accept? Logic paradox detected.
Must reroute logic canal.
It's working! (Beeping) Why do you have to put coffee inside a coffee maker? Doesn't it make the coffee? - Circuit.
.
- Benny, come on! Once, I ate a whole half a pizza! The whole half! (Whirring) Nurse, cancel my appointments.
(Whirring) Yes! It worked! I knew he couldn't handle logic paradoxes.
Actually I just found his off switch.
It was here the whole time.
Well, one left.
Let's go.
Guys, guys, guys! I have an idea.
I wonder if we can play video games on this thing? (Chuckles) Never mind.
So, Sarah and I were chased by things we're already afraid of.
So who's the pyro in the bathrobe? I don't recognize him from any of my top ten nightmares.
So, if you don't know what he is, then how do we stop him? Wait, maybe we don't have to! If I pulled you guys into this world.
.
Then maybe somebody in the real world could pull us back there! Maybe? Yes? I don't know.
We'd need to find an emotionally-charged object.
Maybe Erica has something in her locker.
Please.
Half the stuff in Erica's locker isn't even hers.
Guys.
I know where we need to go.
(Sighs) Good thing I know Rory's combination.
Yeah, me too.
Oh.
(Sighs) I'll be honest.
I thought there'd be more toys.
Okay.
A-ha! Hello, little buddy.
- Must be kind of lonely.
- Not for long.
Rory? Rory are you in there? What's that, Vampire sasquatch? You sound like Ethan.
That's it! You two are getting a timeout.
Just gimme that.
This is Ethan! We're trapped in an alternate dimension! Whoa.
Rory, I think I've been hanging out with you for way too long.
Oh! (All exclaim) We're being chased by a walking flamethrower.
You have to get us out of here! Only if Sarah signs my council application.
Wasn't that due, like, a month ago? What? I have been hanging out with Rory and his doll all day for nothing? Just meet us in front of the school right now! Whoa! I dig the ghost look! But you guys are the ghosts! Guys, we're all ghosts! Just grab Vampire sasquatch! - I already got him! - The ghost one, genius! Hold on! - A little help here? - Yup! (All grunting) Come on, pull! Ta-da! And he was all drilly-drilly and I didn't cry once! Not once! - But we worked together.
- And we got out alive! But I guess you already knew that part.
Well, I'm glad you learned your lesson.
Even if it took flinging you into three private dimensions.
- What? - What? Oh, relax.
You were never in any real danger.
Tell that to the crazy robots and the evil Sarahs! Dial it down, Grandma! Cowboy up, Benny.
Those are your fears.
You needed a reason to work together.
So who was that faceless guy in the hoodie throwing fireballs at me? What? You were supposed to be alone.
Your fear is losing those closest to you.
Well, yeah, that used to be my fear.
Now it's fireball-throwing guy.
There shouldn't have been anyone there with you.
This has something to do with the darkness I feel.
Trouble is coming.
Any of those cookies left? Because if I don't get some cookies, then we're gonna have some trouble.
She's the girl next door.
Nice but naughty, a heart that's pure.
She's the girl next door.
Just for me.