Pennyworth (2019) s02e08 Episode Script

1
Gaunt still has friends among us.
Sir, might I have a moment of your time?
Whoever comes to you,
that's your traitor.
Ah!
Take Lord Harwood away and
confine him to his quarters.
I can explain.
You, Colonel Salt?
In charge of the whole damn country?
It seems strange to me,
too, but there we are.
What you do is so important.
It's rather thrilling, actually.
- Being part of it all.
- Salt planned it all along.
And while he's ruling in
my name as my deputy,
then no one dare touch him.
We need him alive and well for
now, smiling for the newsreels.
Nobody need know he's your prisoner.
And if we were forced to use Stormcloud,
it would be done in Harwood's name.
I shall create a diversion.
- One!
- Do not fire!
- Two!
- And you two leave by the back.
- Three! Onward!
- No!
Well, your president thinks
ending wars quickly is good.
You sons of bitches want
them to use Stormcloud?
Martha, you have to get
out of here right now.
What are you talking about?
- Stormcloud.
- They are going to use it on London.
Just to be clear, I'm
not going anywhere.
Martha, you have to go. What about
N-No. Come on, Patricia.
You haven't told him
that you're pregnant?
Don't blame you.
He will freak the fuck out.
You can't just go around hurting people
when you feel like it.
All right. I promise.
- Gully's dangerous.
- Mad as a hatter.
- Gully doesn't know anything.
- Someone knows.
Is there something you're
not telling me, Alfie?
- No.
- Tell me.
I fucked him.
I'm not safe anywhere. He'll kill me.
And he'll kill you, too.
You better come to
America with me, then.
I'm leaving, Sandra.
I'm going to America.
You mean without me.
How many people have
died to get us there?
I can't go.
What changed your mind so suddenly?
This is my home.
If that's not worth fighting for,
then what is worth fighting for?
How are we looking?
Well, if it's an ambush,
it's a bloody good one.
No spot for a sniper.
Not that I can see, anyway.
Which means you won't,
either, if there is one.
That would simplify matters.
Thank you, by the way.
What for?
Being here. Staying.
It's very good of you.
God knows I'd leave if I could.
God knows I tried.
Why did you stay?
Stupidity.
So not honor, loyalty,
hatred of tyranny?
Nah.
You won't confess to any
finer feelings, will you?
Or maybe I just like a fight.
If things go lemony, hit
the deck and stay there.
Will do.
-
- Lord James Harwood,
16th Earl of Dunboyne,
leader of the Raven Union,
high chancellor of Union-held England,
has passed away following
a severe heart attack.
Details will follow on the hour.
- Poor chap.
- Good riddance.
Stresses of war, I expect.
Hoisted by his own guitar.
Would you stop staring
out the window, please?
It's making me nervous.
Sorry.
You're really scared, aren't you?
Who, me? No.
Just alert.
Your friend Alfie has no
morals and no sense.
I'll strangle him myself if
Troy doesn't do him in first.
Only joking.
Fair play.
But you can't deny that Melanie
was a gallus wee bird.
It's hard to resist a smasher like that.
Men.
What's wrong with you?
That's a big question, Mrs. P.
Sir John. My congratulations.
Your fortunes have risen
since we last met.
As have yours, Prime Minister.
I've been hearing many good things.
Mr. Pennyworth.
A surprise and a pleasure
to see you again.
And in such exalted company.
If your father could see you
now, he'd be very proud.
Sir.
General Thursday.
- Inspector.
- Hmm.
Interesting spot you chose.
Not one for the history books.
New beginnings.
Lord Harwood had a taste
for the theatrical.
Plain, simple honesty. That's us.
My condolences for your great loss.
Lord Harwood was an outstanding leader.
Larger than life. Irreplaceable.
Everybody can be replaced.
Forgive me if I'm surprised
that he's been replaced
by you, Sir John.
Not as surprised as I am.
I'm not worthy, of course.
But if you think we're discouraged,
think again, sir.
Our cause is larger than any one man.
Lord Harwood led the Raven Union,
but he did not command the Army.
It's the Army who've
beaten you in battle.
- Not Lord Harwood.
- True.
You don't need the Raven
Union at all, really, do you?
On the contrary.
We need them to deal with
clever chaps like you.
The Army takes no part in
politics or government.
- Warfare is our only trade.
- Indeed.
That's why I'm rather surprised
you approved Stormcloud.
That's a purely Raven project, no?
We're glad you know about Stormcloud.
You understand the seriousness
of your predicament.
The Army had very little hand in it.
Or am I wrong?
Would the Army really
let a political party use
such a weapon on its own people?
All Raven Union military assets,
including Stormcloud,
are under Army Council command.
Isn't that so, Sir John?
Mm. That is exactly so.
The Army and the Union
are brothers, united.
Lord Harwood's sad demise has
only brought us closer together.
But it has also given us pause.
This war has gone on long enough.
We'd like to sit down and talk.
See if we can find an honorable peace.
We're always happy to talk.
Compromise and reconciliation
are desperately needed.
I could not agree more.
Compromise and reconciliation.
As to time and location,
we leave that to you.
But I have a suggestion, if I may.
And a favor to ask.
We'd like to bury Lord Harwood
in his family crypt in London.
It would be a gesture of
good faith on both sides
if you'd allow his funeral
party to enter the city.
We could hold talks after the ceremony.
In the spirit of new beginnings.
I must consult with Her Majesty
the Queen first, of course,
but, uh, I'm sure she'll
be happy to oblige.
- Here's to Lord Harwood.
- Lord Harwood.
- May he rest in peace.
- Mm.
May he rot in hell.
Whichever is deemed appropriate
- by the powers that be.
- Hmm.
Well, I hate to be a wet blanket,
but I'm not so sure that Harwood's
death is a good thing.
I agree.
Wow. Really? I am I am
deeply touched. Thank you.
Seriously, what do we know
about this Salt character?
Well, he's clever enough.
But he has no power base.
And there's clear tension
between him and Thursday.
They're wobbling.
Politically vulnerable.
Why else would they ask for peace talks?
They still have Stormcloud.
Yes, but would they dare
use it? That's the question.
A madman like Harwood might
do anything, but these are
ordinary half-decent sort of men.
They'll be mindful of
the world's opinion.
Fearful of consequences.
What did you think, Alfie?
I was looking for snipers.
But you must have got a general sense.
Did they seem trustworthy?
I don't trust anyone.
You fucking bastard!
Hello.
The fuck are you sneaking
in like that for?
- You're plastered.
- That I am.
You're supposed to be looking after Mum.
I can do two things at once.
It's fucking irresponsible.
Where is she?
She's having a snooze. Hey!
And it's not me that's
irresponsible. It's you.
Was it me that fucked the
wife of a stone-cold killer?
- No.
- Yeah, right. Fair play.
But still. It's me mum.
Was it me that squandered America? No.
Was it me that fucked
away our travel money?
- No.
- All right, all right.
I could be in California
with a whore on my face.
There's a nice picture.
Sorry, Mrs. P. I thought
you were snoozing.
I was till you started yelling.
Your son's got the gall
to be angry with me
- for drinking on duty.
- Duty?
Protecting me from the
fruits of your adultery.
Poor man's entitled to be drunk.
He could be in California with
with all his hopes and dreams.
You wanted to stay.
I did what you wanted.
I did what's right.
You did this, you did that.
Never a thought for how
anyone else might feel.
Ah. That's right.
A married woman. The shame.
If your father was alive,
he'd be rolling in his grave.
I'm to be murdered in my
bed by an angry cuckold
or else gassed by a terror bomb.
And you only went and
told her about Stormcloud.
- Thanks very much.
- Well, you're welcome.
- It's called honesty.
- I don't like to scare you.
Do I look scared?
As it happens, I was at a very
high-level secret meeting today.
Ooh. Oh, see him, Mary. Fancy Dan.
Now that loony old Lord Harwood's dead,
the Union want to hold peace talks.
The war will be over soon.
There will be no terror bombs.
"Secret meetings" he says.
Who's to know anymore whether
he's honest or he's lying?
So sad but true, Mrs. P.
So sad but true.
If you two are gonna gang up on me,
then I'm off. You can
look after yourselves.
Not likely. Where would you go?
He's got nobody else.
Sandra won't take him.
Look, Mum, you're not
going to be murdered
in your bed or anywhere else. I promise.
I'll sort things out with Gully.
We'll talk. He's a reasonable
man at heart.
- Don't worry.
- I stopped worrying
when your father died.
When death comes, I'll be ready.
- Now I'm off to work.
- Hmm.
- Goodbye.
- Goodbye.
Yeah.
Shall I come to the hospital
with you, Mrs. P, eh?
- Just to be safe.
- No, you won't.
Did you not hear what I just said?
That you're ready to die?
There's ham in the larder
if you want any.
Gully?
A reasonable man at heart?
I don't want her worrying.
I'll have to go and find him.
Sort this out.
I can't let it go on like this,
just waiting for him to show up.
Oh, well, don't you be going it alone.
You'll need me for backup.
You know very well I
have to go it alone.
Alone.
Don't you try following me. You hear me?
I hear you.
Are these peace talks real at least?
Oh, they're real.
But they're a Union trick.
Not sure what sort, but they're a trick.
That Salt's a lairy little creature.
The meeting went well, I hope, sir.
Very well. Very well.
Call the crown undertaker
and have him start making arrangements
for His Lordship's funeral.
Yes, sir. Of course.
But surely no one will come
if it's in North London.
The League's territory.
No, of course not.
But that's not the point.
Mm.
Mm!
Oh, hold on there, stud.
Slow up. Slow up.
We need to talk. Mm.
- No, we don't.
- Yes. Yes, we do.
About what?
Um, the-the birds and the bees.
Ah. Right. Well, no problem.
I've got a condom in my wallet.
You keep a condom in your wallet?
Why didn't you use one before?
Mm, slipped my mind, I guess.
- Heat of the moment.
- Oh, um, that's funny.
Here we go again with the funny.
Are we gonna have sex or comedy?
If it's the latter,
I'll keep my clothes on.
Uh, sex. We'll we'll have sex.
But you won't need your condom.
Mm, why's that?
Because you didn't use it last
time and I'm already pregnant.
You're not joking.
Nope.
But it's kind of funny though, right?
We have sex a few times
and I get knocked up.
Oh, it's a laugh riot.
Why the hell didn't you
tell me before now?
I don't know. I was I was
waiting for the right moment.
Wh
You knew about this when
you refused to evacuate
and you didn't tell me.
That wasn't the right moment?
Uh, well, I knew you'd
try to make me leave.
Because you're having a baby.
Which means I need to
do whatever you tell me?
It means you leave a fucking war zone.
I thought about the
situation very carefully,
and I decided to stay because
the risks are worth taking.
- I can make a difference here.
- It's a war.
What are you, an attack helicopter?
I can make a difference.
Okay.
I'm-I'm I'm sorry for yelling at you.
This is It's a surprise,
that's all. It's
It's a good surprise.
And if I if I remember right,
you're, uh, you're what?
You're-you're, um, you're
about six weeks along?
Yeah.
Your sister says it's a boy,
and she's always right, apparently.
Oh, that's true.
Um
M-May I?
It's your baby, too.
- Wow.
- Right?
I will go see about a marriage
license tomorrow.
Uh, what?
A marriage license.
Can't get married without one.
- Who said we're getting married?
- Hmm?
You didn't ask me. Maybe I
don't want to get married.
Oh, don't be obtuse.
We have to get married.
No, we don't.
You'd sooner raise a bastard
than get married to me?
- Really?
- It's a close call.
No child of mine is gonna be
illegitimate, so I'm sorry,
I'm gonna have to insist
that we do the right thing,
however repulsive you find me.
You "insist" that we get married?
I do.
Well
I insist that you kiss my pregnant ass.
Where are you going?
- Leaving.
- This is your apartment.
Well, I need some air.
- Then I'll come with you.
- No. The hell you will.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my.
Four, three, two, one.
Who's the blonde piece?
Must be his tart, eh?
Slutty-looking thing.
Good morning to you all.
Good morning, England.
A noble life has ended.
As all life must end. Too soon.
Too soon to see his
great works finished.
I want to take this opportunity
to assure my fellow citizens
that the country is in safe hands.
The Raven Union High Council
and the Army General Staff
are working hand in glove
to continue the legacy
of leadership bequeathed
to us by this great man.
His life's done.
But the fire he lit still burns, eh?
Let's us all resolve to build that flame
into a roaring furnace.
Let's us all resolve to complete
the noble work he began
and make this green and pleasant land
once again a beacon to the world!
Forgive my tears.
My heart's in that coffin
with Lord Harwood.
I'm a humble man from simple stock.
What strength I have, this man gave me.
The last thing he said to me
before his mighty heart gave out
"Do your duty, son."
"Do your duty," he said.
With all my heart and soul,
I intend to obey that order!
And in his name,
in England's name
I ask the same of you!
Let's all of us do our duty, eh?
God bless.
Yes, sir.
And out.
And what a grand day it has been.
Starting with a magnificent
funeral procession
through the rightful streets
of London, Lord Harwood
Where's Alfie, I wonder?
Aye, you've a magic touch
with a brew, Mrs. P.
It's, uh, strong but subtle, you know?
I said, where's Alfie?
Sorry. I thought that was a
what's that a rhetorical question.
It wasn't.
Where is he?
He's maybe went to see Gully.
He said he might, eh?
Alone?
Why didn't you go with him?
He said he had to go alone.
And you're not worried?
Eh
taken too soon.
But I think we can all agree
the country is in good hands.
laid to rest today
in his family crypt in London.
May he rest in peace.
Flags throughout England
will be flown at half-mast
throughout next week's mourning period.
Coming up, a three-minute silence
to commemorate Lord Harwood.
After which, we'll be looking at
some of his greatest moments,
remembering our noble leader.
Harwood's funeral.
Gave him a good send-off.
Nine lives that one.
I see our friend Salt's doing
rather well for himself.
And to think we took
him for catering corps.
Fooled us good and proper.
Mm.
Oh, well.
You, uh, you took your time.
I thought you'd come after me.
Oh, no, I
I-I always knew you'd do the right thing
and come to me eventually.
I don't like to waste energy.
Looks like you've wasted
some energy at least.
Spared the telly though. Nice one.
So
my friend
what have you got to say for yourself?
What is there to say?
Then why are you here?
I owe you a fair crack
at me, that's all.
Oh.
Baring your throat for the blade, huh?
- You can call it that.
- Mm.
No, not you, Alfie.
No, you-you have no death wish.
You think you can take me.
You actually think you can take me.
How do you want to do this then?
You might want to start
by dropping that gun.
I'm not the pheasant plucker.
I'm the pheasant plucker's son,
and I'm only plucking pheasants
till the pheasant plucker comes.
Overture and beginners, Miss DuFrench.
Hairy hungry hellhounds
hold Hohner harmonicas in high esteem.
Fuck off, Fred. I heard you.
I'm sure I have seen her on the telly.
Have you been on the telly, love?
- Who are you?
- She asked if you've been on telly.
Yes, I have, but who are you?
- In what?
- All sorts of things.
Many. Who are you?
Well, I'm Peg.
This is my sister Bet.
Don't mind us prying, Vikki.
Have you got a boyfriend?
Now, look here
She asked if you got a boyfriend.
Simple question. Yes or no?
And be honest,
or I'll tear out your fucking tongue.
- Yes.
- Thank you, Vikki.
Now, what's his name?
- John.
- John what?
Salt.
We're so happy to sit
down with you at last.
Thank you for coming to us.
Least we could do, ma'am.
Um, we have here a brief
summary of our position, uh,
suggestions for territorial
partition and so forth.
If you'd like to start from there.
This looks like a list of demands.
No. Not demands.
Um, points for negotiation.
Oh, dear.
I think we have a misunderstanding.
This is not a negotiation.
These are peace talks.
That's what we agreed to,
isn't it? Peace talks?
Indeed.
I don't quite see the difference.
Negotiations happen when both
sides have something to offer.
Peace talks happen when
one side has their foot
on the other's throat.
We invited you here in good faith.
What remains of League forces
and both of you personally
must surrender unconditionally.
If you fail to do so,
we will deploy a Stormcloud
device over London.
I believe you've seen
how Stormcloud works.
General,
you'd do such a thing
to your own people?
Just as many will die if we have
to fight our way into London.
Stormcloud is a humane
and sensible alternative
that we won't hesitate
to use if necessary.
Surely the Raven Union
Council won't sanction
The council will do what I say!
You have 48 hours to think this over.
We give you so long only
because General Thursday
is a compassionate and persuasive man.
Excuse me, madam.
Yeah.
- Two against one?
- Oh, Monty's here to help
just in case you decide to run off.
Come on, you know me better than that.
I thought I did, Alfie.
I thought I did and then
you fucked my wife.
- Fair play.
- A man's wife, Alfie.
That's sacred.
I raised you better than that.
You didn't raise me.
You were my CO for a while. That's all.
Yes. Yes, well, of course.
I'm-I'm not your father, but
but I'd wager you a pretty penny
that he'd be as ashamed
of you as I am now.
A man of honor like him.
You fucking leave my father out of this.
Oh-ho-ho. There he is.
Yes. There's my boy. Good.
I was starting to worry
that you'd left all your fire
behind you in the colonies.
Now, I'm gonna have to even the odds.
Oh!
Fuck's sake!
Well
My own Melanie stabbed me, and
now we're both hurting.
It's invigorating, no? Huh?
You know, get the
animal spirits flowing.
No. Just hurts.
You were never one for the
poetry of it all, were you?
Monty.
Ah.
Oh, come on.
Can't we talk this through?
Do I really need to die?
Wouldn't a good kicking be enough?
Run, or I'm gonna put a bullet
through your head right now.
It'll all be very dull and squalid.
Yeah. That does sound unpleasant.
I'm sorry about this,
Gully. I really am.
I'm gonna give you five
minutes head start.
Now, go on. Run along.
Fuck's sake.
Help. Help.
- What are you doing?
- Fuck off!
Mind your own business!
You, out.
Who's this?
Don't you recognize her? She's famous.
I'm going.
-
- Coming through!
Been on telly, haven't you, Vikki?
Please help me, miss.
These women are mad.
- Shh.
- Hey!
Don't do that.
It's all right, pet.
She's got it coming.
This is John Salt's fancy woman.
- So?
- So we'll see how her fella likes
having a loved one torn from his bosom.
No, you won't.
I will. I'm gonna send him
her head in a cake tin.
- No, you're bloody not!
- Here we go.
I'll put kettle on.
Bet, you promised me.
You promised. No more violence.
I did, but this is different.
Lord Harwood was my friend.
He was good to me,
and I'll not betray him.
This is rightful revenge.
There's no such thing.
Don't be daft. 'Course there is.
You weren't so fussy
when I brained pervy
old Sutcliffe, were you?
Happy to see some revenge
then, weren't you?
Look, I can't defend Salt.
He's a fascist pig.
But surely there are
other ways to punish him.
This woman's done nothing to anyone.
Nothing. I've done nothing.
You sat on the wrong cock, love.
Bad luck.
It's like getting run over by a bus.
If you hurt this woman,
I am leaving you.
Give over.
- Don't be like that.
- Seriously.
I'm-I'm done.
We're done.
Done?
You're not done.
We're an item, you and me.
You can't leave.
I can, and I will.
You promised me, Bet. You promised.
Well, then, all made up, are we?
Lovebirds again?
Look
maybe we've been a bit hasty.
Maybe we're not being fair to Vikki.
There's other ways to get
Salt, don't you think?
Oh, don't ask me.
This is your bed you've to
lie in. As fucking usual.
No need for that tone.
When you two rolled up
here, I said to you,
she's mad as a hatter, didn't I?
And that was the truth.
And I said to you, you never learn.
You never learn that something's
not right, up here.
You can't have relationships
like other folk.
Always ends in tears.
You shouldn't talk to her like that.
Oh, I'm allowed, Katie,
because I look after her.
Have done my whole life,
my whole bloody life.
I'm allowed.
And I'm allowed to change my mind.
No violence.
Not to this one, any road.
Thank you.
Salt's getting it,
whether you like it or not.
Hmm, lovely.
And what the heck are we
gonna do with Vikki, then?
I mean, we can't exactly
let her go, can we?
Why not?
I promise, I swear,
I won't tell a soul about any of this.
Why's that, then?
Why would you be quiet about this?
I just would.
Oh.
What, you think this is funny, do you?
Not much happens in the afterlife,
so we have to amuse
ourselves as best we can.
Well, I'm glad I can be of service.
Any suggestions here?
You like giving advice.
But you don't like taking advice,
so why would I bother?
I'm desperate here, Baz.
Okay. Advice.
You have to look at yourself
honestly, Alfred.
Why do you keep finding yourself
in these foolish predicaments?
What's the darkness inside
that drives you toward self-destruction?
Oh, for fuck's sake, Baz,
I need to know how to stay alive.
Oh. I have no idea.
It's not looking good though, is it?
That is a nasty wound.
You'll probably bleed out
in a couple of hours.
My opinion, about the bigger picture?
You're torn between a love of order
and a lust for transgression.
You think you're fighting for yourself,
but you're really
fighting with yourself.
Used to be Spanish who'd come
have these little chats with me.
Annoyed the shit out of me,
but he was fucking brilliant
company compared to you.
How can you be your own man
when you don't know who you are?
If you got nothing useful to say,
then on your bike.
Be still. Be calm.
Running makes your heart beat harder.
You lose blood faster
- and you get weak quicker.
- Oh, really?
I had no idea.
Next time I see you,
I hope you're in a better mood.
No, wait.
Oh, fuck you.
Alfie! Alfie!
Alfie!
Alfie.
I know you're close
'cause I can smell you.
Doesn't get much better
than this, does it? Huh?
Just me, you and the woods.
I'm coming, Alfie! I'm coming!
All right, Rita.
Now, what the fuck happened in here?
Maid's day off.
Who's this old bag?
- This is Alfie's mum.
- Mum?
Well, listen, Alfie's
Mrs. Pennyworth to you!
Where are they?
Epping Forest.
Thank you.
All right, Gully.
Very good.
I'd have been terribly disappointed
if you'd let me sneak up on you.
You took long enough.
Mm. Disgracefully slow.
I must be getting old.
Anyway, here we are.
Just so you know
it wasn't Melanie's fault.
- I pushed myself on her.
- Oh.
A gentleman to the end, eh?
Nonsense, of course.
Melanie's a whore, and
she wanted to hurt me.
You were hurting her.
That's what she wanted.
Not sure she did, actually.
Aw. Well, I
I think you'd be surprised.
I'm very glad you got her on that plane.
'Cause killing a woman is
it's a sign of weakness, isn't it?
An admission of of failure.
And then killing a man on
the other hand, well
There's a hundred good
reasons to kill a man.
You led me astray, Gully.
I thought you were a bloody hero.
Turns out you're just bloody mad.
Oh, such such vim, such courage.
You know, Melanie used to needle me
that I was in love with you.
And she did needle me,
because it's true.
I do love you in my own way.
Ah!
Oh, God!
What's so funny?
I believe
I believe I taught you
how to make this trap.
You did. The Sumatran Whip.
What's even funnier
is that I killed the man who taught me.
He was a Dayak headhunter.
He was a kindly old chap.
Had seven wives, you know?
And a throne of skulls.
Takes all sorts.
Yeah.
Alfie?
Aren't you going to kill me?!
Nah.
I'm grateful to you, Gully.
I'd forgotten how much I enjoy all this.
I feel very alive.
So thank you.
When I was young,
younger than before ♪
I never saw the truth
hanging from the door ♪
And now I'm older,
see it face to face ♪
And now I'm older ♪
Gotta get up, clean the place ♪
And I was green,
greener than the hill ♪
Where flowers grew
and the sun shone still ♪
Now I'm darker than the deepest sea ♪
Just hand me down ♪
Give me a place to be. ♪
Shit.
Where's Gully?
He lost.
Oh!
Monty, what the fuck?
Orders.
Oh
Oh, fuck.
Don't you start.
Wasn't going to say a word.
Come all the way from the afterlife
with nothing to say? Ha.
- I doubt it.
- I'm not here to talk.
I'm here to guide you
over, if necessary.
Fuck off.
You're not guiding me anywhere.
Not my call.
Not looking good, is it?
No, I'm staying.
I got things I want to do.
Such as what?
Just out of interest.
I want to, well
I want to make a difference.
A difference? To what?
No. It's embarrassing.
You can tell me anything. I'm dead.
My dad was right.
You have to serve something or someone.
And I want to make this a happy,
peaceful country again.
Don't fucking laugh.
- I think I can help.
- That's a noble plan.
Good luck with that.
Thank you for your support.
Also, what's so funny about
peace and happiness?
- Alfie.
- Alfie.
Alfie.
Oh, my Lord.
Don't worry, Mum.
It's just a scratch.
- Look at you.
- I know.
Another good suit ruined, eh?
Hey, Gully's in the woods.
He needs an ambulance.
Does he?
I mean, really, does he?
- Yeah.
- Right. Up.
- Yeah, he does.
- All right.
One, two, three
Up! Got him.
Come on, big boy. I've got you.
- There you go.
- Oh, Alfie.
Looks worse than it is.
I'll be running about in no time.
Like buggery.
This puts a stop to all your
shenanigans, good and proper.
Nothing for you but
bed rest from now on.
And porridge.
Brothers and sisters
I am here to ask humbly
for your blessing.
I ask you to ratify my status
as pro tem high chancellor
of the kingdom.
We've suffered a terrible loss.
And I've only been in
this job a short while,
but hopefully I've shown
that I'm fit for purpose.
I've won the support of
our allies in the Army.
I've rallied the rank and file.
I've brought a devastating new
weapon onto the battlefield.
Our enemies will soon
be forced to surrender.
Very soon.
I stand proudly on that record
and humbly ask for your votes.
Thank you.
Each council member will speak
in ascending order of rank.
I say yes.
Yes.
- Yes.
- Yes.
Yes.
- Yes.
- Yes.
- Yes!
- Yes.
- Yes.
- Yes.
I say yes.
The motion is carried.
God save England!
God save England!