Reservation Dogs (2021) s02e08 Episode Script

1
(BIRDS SINGING)
- (FROG CROAKING)
- (INSECTS TRILLING)
♪
(INSECTS TRILLING)
- (ENGINE REVVING)
- (SIREN APPROACHING)
BIG: Hey.
(CRUISER DOOR SHUTS)
Shit.
Thought it was a real cop.
Hang on, baby.
SERGEANT: Someone
hasn't returned Young Guns II.
- OFFICER: Chavez E. Chavez
- (LAUGHTER)
I was him when we played Young Guns.
That Lou Diamond. He's Native.
FEMALE OFFICER: He's not Native.
- Yeah, he is.
- No, he's not.
SERGEANT: Lady. Gentlemen. Shut up.
Okay?
Also, uh, a Criterion edition
of Robocop
hasn't been returned to Bronco Video
and Roger Butler's
about to lose his shit.
He's always about to lose his shit.
(LAUGHTER)
SERGEANT: Keep an eye out, all right?
Also, some shitass has been
tagging all the bus stops
with "Land Back" and dicks and boobs.
- (LAUGHTER)
- It's all those shitasses in the village.
Billy Jack.
It's Willie Jack.
Jackin' off idiots is what they are.
(LAUGHTER)
SEGREANT: Keep an eye out, all right?
Also, a shipment of catfish
has been stolen from Cleo's.
I think it's methheads.
And it seems to happen
every six months.
Big.
Aho.
Why don't you go talk to the zombies
down at the scrapyard?
Well, give it to Chubbs.
I gotta follow up on a Bigfoot
sighting outside of town.
(CHUCKLING)
What?
SERGEANT:
On your way out to the forest,
why don't you stop off
at the scrapyard, okay?
Bigfoot can help you out there.
(LAUGHTER)
FEMALE OFFICER: Big, I got a question.
Do Bigfoot's bocos and hvshwv
just dangle out in the open?
Or do they tuck up inside like a dog's?
(LAUGHTER)
Shit, you gonna be making
jokes when you see one.
Yep. Keep fucking around,
you're gonna get slapped
with a Bigfoot hvsh.
- Really?
- Easy, easy.
(CLEARS THROAT)
Also, I told you about
that field of catfish heads.
Probably connected.
SERGEANT: Easy with
the conspiracy theories today.
All right? You think
everything's connected.
Oh, 'cause everything is. Shit.
Oh, tradition stuff.
Hush now.
(OFFICERS CHUCKLING)
♪
(OVER RADIO): Down these city streets ♪
I walk tall ♪
I walk proud ♪
(MUFFLED): With a 40-dollar shirt ♪
My head above the crowd ♪
The people of. ♪
- (ENGINE SHUTS OFF)
- (CRUISER DOOR OPENS)
Here.
Mm-hmm.
Aho.
- Hey.
- Hey.
Mind if I join?
Go ahead.
What's up?
♪
Yeah, Kenny Boy, my man,
it's all science.
And numbers.
What about the spirit?
I'm not in it for the party.
CHEMIST: You ever done DMT?
- Not lately.
- First time I did that,
felt like a membrane made
of the softest female legs laid on me.
You should try laying on a real woman.
They're-they're pretty soft.
Bouncy, too.
Kenny Boy.
We got company.
That tribal cop.
(SONG PLAYING QUIETLY)
- KENNY BOY: Damn.
- What?
Looking for the two-dick
sculpture maker, I suppose.
Two-dick what?
- Sculpture.
- Maker.
Should I be worried?
KENNY BOY: You might turn
the LSD/Ayahuasca label
and face it the other way.
That's a pretty good start.
BIG: You guys suck.
You know, the second time
I did DMT (CHUCKLES)
I shot high above this
- neon city
- KENNY BOY: That's great.
Give your gums a rest, there,
Joe Rogan. Here he is.
Aho.
(SPEAKING NAVAJO)
Don't speak Klingon.
- Ah, good one.
- Uh-huh.
- It's Navajo.
- BIG: Oh, shit.
Thought you was clearing your throat.
- In reverse. (LAUGHS)
- (KENNY BOY LAUGHS)
KENNY BOY: Humor. I love it.
Our people have always
used laughter as a way
to get through the hard times.
- BIG: Uh-huh.
- Ain't that right, shik'is?
Fuck, quit speaking Navajo,
Kenny Boy. Shit.
Wow.
Just like the priests
at the boarding school.
You gonna wash my mouth out
with soap as well?
Aw, Jesus.
Look
Cleo reported a shipment
of catfish stolen.
I'm just wondering
if y'all heard anything.
Sadly, no.
But, uh, might have
a number for you, someone
that deals in the aquatic under-beings.
- Fly.
- Good. Look it up.
Oh, don't mind if I do.
CHEMIST: Oh
(BELCHES LOUDLY) Ooh-yah. (GROANS)
That's organtic.
Mm. Ai-yah.
I think I need to leave.
- (SUCKS IN AIR) What?
- (CHEMIST CLAPPING SLOWLY)
- Yeah, uh
- What?
- Hey.
- (LAUGHS)
KENNY BOY: There is no word
in the Native tongue for "goodbye."
Only "see you later."
So understand me in English:
Adios, Big.
What the fuck you talking about?
Well, we, um
we dosed those.
You what?
Dosed? What
What does that mean?
Huh?
KENNY BOY:
There was a-a rave community.
Some young'uns who like
to party in the woods.
Dog collars and shit.
We usually make a mean buck off them,
selling energy drinks
dosed with my brother's own
special blend of psychedelics.
BIG: Wait.
Did I drink one with drugs in it?
This is where the plot thickens,
my friend.
I ain't never done no fucking drugs!
(PANTING)
- Well
- (PANTING HEAVILY)
- KENNY BOY: Now, the best way to
- You fucks!
KENNY BOY: Damn!
He scurries like a little mouse.
(EXHALES) Come on.
Just put on some music!
(COUGHING, RETCHES)
- (LAUGHS)
- (RETCHES)
It's of no use.
It's already in your system, man.
Oh
Hey, take it easy, man.
You're in America.
(DISTORTED ECHO): You're in America.
(DISTORTED): Trip in beauty, my friend.
Away, cvpon.
- (WORDS ECHO)
- Away.
Oh, God. (EXHALES)
I'm a good person.
I don't do drugs.
(DISTORTED NOISES)
(DISTORTED WHISTLING)
(DISTORTED): Ahoy.
(DISTORTED WHISTLING)
Oh, shit
That's crazy.
- Fly
- It's hitting him hard.
- Fly.
- He was hungry for it.
(GROANING)
(LAUGHS)
Hey.
(SCREAMING)
- (CHEMIST CAWING)
- (BIG SCREAMING)
Get out of the way!
I'll join you, brother!
(CHEMIST LAUGHS)
Noble brother.
Mom would be proud.
KENNY BOY: For the oyate.
- ♪
♪
- (PANTING)
(BIRDS SINGING)
(PANTING)
♪
(PANTING)
Don't fight it, Neej!
Fear is the mind-killer.
Ah
Oh.
There you are.
Hello, me.
Nice to see ya.
(LOUD KISS) Ah.
Ha!
Where are you, brother?
Ah. Ah.
It's rainbows!
You're my pot of gold!
♪
(GRUNTS, PANTS)
(LAUGHS)
(LAUGHING)
(EXHALES)
♪
(BIG EXHALES)
(EXHALES)
(BIRDS SINGING)
♪
Big.
Are you watching this?
If not, I'm gonna put it
on one of my stories.
- Ta-da!
- BIG: You can change it now.
(IMAJENE CHUCKLES)
Hey, now. No white women for you.
WOMAN (ON TV): What do you think?
IMAJENE: What's the matter, Big?
What are you afraid of?
(GULPS AIR)
(SIREN WAILING)
- (CREAKING)
- (SIREN WAILING)
- (GRUNTING)
- (BIRDS SINGING)
(EXHALES)
(CROW CAWING)
IMAJENE: Big.
What are you doing?
Nothing, Grandma.
(SIGHS) Are you on drugs?
Oh, no, Grandma.
Oh, don't lie to me. I can
always tell when you been lyin'.
Oh, no, I swear.
Uh I'm a good boy.
I need some cigarettes, Big.
Okay, I can, I can go get 'em.
Uh
But you you should quit smoking, though.
- Mm. You're gonna die from it.
- (SCOFFS)
Don't tell me what to do, shitass.
I know what you did.
You do?
You haven't been a shitass
like your father
No.
Wait, wait.
(WHIMPERS)
You know what I can do, don't you?
Yeah. Yeah.
Ah! Ah!
(GIGGLES)
(SIREN WAILING)
- (BIG PANTING)
- (MOTORCYCLE ENGINE REVS)
(SIREN WAILING)
- Little water to wake you up.
- (SPUTTERS)
Yeah. Hey, look, I'm awake.
- I'm awake, too.
- (PANTS)
- Is it
- That'll cool your mind down.
(GASPS) Is it over?
- Is it over? Is it over?
- Uh
I seriously doubt that it's over.
I'm sure you probably
just hit your first peak.
This is my brother's batch,
and there is a lot of peaks, but,
- you know, it's an up and down ride.
- (COUGHS)
Whoa.
KENNY BOY: Whoa-ho.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
(KENNY BOY LAUGHS)
Trees are our friends.
The reets the roots go deep.
The roots go deep.
(DISTORTED LAUGHTER)
Look it.
- I love it here.
- (LAUGHING)
Oh, man.
Whoa.
Light.
Light will help us grow.
Oh, man
Oh. Oh.
(CHANTING IN DISTORTED VOICE)
KENNY BOY: It's no time for ceremony.
- Look at the flower.
- (CHANTING)
- Look, look, look.
- (STOPS CHANTING)
- Look.
- (CREAK, THUD)
KENNY BOY: Look at that shine.
Take that in.
(CREAKING)
Oh, wow.
BIG: Man.
- Uh
- They dangle and sing.
Ah
This is life.
Holy shit.
- KENNY BOY: Hi, sky.
- Hi, sky.
KENNY BOY: Sky's your friend.
Ah. Ah
(BOTH LAUGHING)
- Ah, me.
- I think I came.
KENNY BOY: Not gonna lie.
This is much stronger
than my brother's last batch.
I don't do fucking drugs,
you shitasses.
Taking you all to fucking jail
after this, you hear me?
MEN (CHANTING): Ours! Ours! Ours!
I hear it, too, if you were wondering.
(BIG SHUSHING)
MEN (CHANTING): Ours! Ours! Ours!
GRAND CATFISH: We are here.
Sons of grandsons.
The old ones who settled this land.
This land, our birthright,
our land!
ALL: Ours! Ours! Ours!
Holy fuck, these some strong-ass drugs.
No.
This is real.
This is as real as it gets.
Do ye give ye seed for our land?
Oh, shit.
- I know what this is.
- MEN: Ours! Ours! Ours!
- White people.
- Uh
I heard about this.
I didn't think it was real.
It's the Order of the Midstreamers.
- The Klan?
- No.
Okies, oil execs, politicians.
Secret society.
Said to believe they're the
rightful heirs of all Indian Territory
and all the mineral rights
beneath the ground.
Few people went missing
back in the day.
KENNY BOY: Ah. Sacrifice.
Shit, they went dormant
for decades now.
This doesn't look too dormant.
It looks like some sort of initiation.
How do you know so much about this?
Well, shit, YouTubes.
GRAND CATFISH:
Now, commence with the ritual.
Whoa
♪
Oh, that's some fucking
sick fuckers. Look at 'em.
With the blood of the earth,
let this seal the bond between us.
For it is all ours!
MEN: Ours! Ours! Ours!
MEN: Ours! Ours! Ours!
- MEN: Ours! Ours! Ours!
- GRAND CATFISH: Ours!
(SQUELCHING)
BOTH: Fuckin' white people.
Why just the bodies?
If you've ever
put your hand down
the business end of a catfish,
you know to just cut that head off.
Im-Imagine what it would do to
Cover me.
Where you going?
I'm pretty sure there's a law
against fucking fish carcasses.
What the
Hey, hey, hey, hey! Lighthorseman!
Take the masks off
and put your hands in the air.
Now you four, get on the ground,
you nasty fuckers.
Everyone, masks off!
That's right, you degenerates.
This is Indian Territory.
The Muscogee reservation.
The fuck is wrong with you guys?
Is this part of the initiation?
No, shitass.
This is real life.
And that's a tribal cop.
Which is barely a real cop.
Sort of a kind of a cop.
I'm gonna put my real foot
up your ass if you're not careful.
KENNY BOY: That's a burn right there.
GRAND CATFISH: You are making
a big mistake.
Holy shit.
Governor Wilson.
Oh, this some real Scooby-Doo shit.
You nasty fucker.
You don't know what
you're dealing with here.
- Fish fucking.
- Uh-huh.
Is what it looks like, scumbags.
Don't you have any reverence
for nature and its peoples?
Water and land? The four-leggeds
and the no-leggeds?
Our God
has given us this land to do with
as we will, because
the Native will not!
He's too precious and too
reverent.
The earth is a whore,
and it is our will to take her.
Yeah!
(GRUNTS) Shut your mouth,
filthy fish fucker.
- Earth is not a whore!
- Chill out, Kenny.
And if it was,
you guys are paying for that.
- And we're the pimp and you're going down!
- Ken-Ken Kenny Boy.
- Chill out. I got this.
- (SHOTGUN COCKS)
Drop it.
- Huh?
- Drop it.
- BIG: Aw, shit.
- GUARD: Drop it.
Turn around.
- (BLOWS RASPBERRY)
- Dumbass.
- (GRUNTING)
- MEN: Ours!
MEN: Ours! Ours! Ours! Ours!
MEN: Ours! Ours! Ours! Ours!
MEN: Ours! Ours! Ours! Ours!
- (CHANTING CONTINUES)
- ♪
♪
♪
BIG: Cookie.
Little.
(BOTH LAUGH)
Where you coming from?
- Toilets.
- Ah.
Just having a few cold ones, huh?
- A few.
- Yeah?
- (COOKIE CHUCKLES)
- Need a ride home?
Nah. I'm good.
I got a sober hand driving me home.
Plus, I'm right down the road.
All right.
Well, you get home safely, okay?
Will do. (LAUGHS)
- BIG: Ha, ha.
- (COOKE WHOOPS SOFTLY)
(COOKIE LAUGHS)
(LIGHTS BUZZING)
City streets ♪
I walk tall ♪
I walk proud ♪
With a 40-dollar shirt ♪
My head above the crowd ♪
The people of this town ♪
Tip their hats as I ♪
BIG: He look buzzed up to you?
Yeah. He stumbled in and reeks.
- Keep it.
- (ENGINE REVVING)
BIG: Hey!
Damn it, Cookie.
- (TIRES SQUEAL)
- (SIREN WAILING)
♪
- (ENGINE REVVING)
- (SIREN APPROACHING)
COOKIE (WHISPERS):
Be cool, be cool. Act sober.
BIG: Hey. Cookie.
- (CRUISER DOOR CLOSES)
- Shit.
Thought it was a real cop.
Hang on, baby.
♪
(ENGINE REVS)
(FLAMES CRACKLING)
♪
(BIRD CALLING)
I'm not a good man, Kenny Boy.
- Nonsense.
- No.
(SNIFFLES)
I fucked up.
KENNY BOY: Nah.
We didn't know they had security.
No, it's not that.
I failed some friends of mine.
(SNIFFLES)
And I couldn't stop it, Kenny Boy.
- (CRIES)
- You're only human.
I let two people die.
(SOBBING)
And I knew their whole families,
Kenny Boy.
- Let it out.
- Why?
Oh, why did that happen, though? Why?
- Those were my friends, Kenny Boy.
- Shit happens.
(SOBS)
- Shut the fuck up.
- You shut the fuck up.
Kenny Boy,
- uh
- What?
(GRUNTS) I owe you an apology.
You don't owe me anything.
You're a good man.
Hey.
Can I call you "brother"?
Um
Yeah.
But just don't do it in front of
- any of my friends, okay?
- (CHUCKLES)
GUARD: Hey! Who are
- What the
- (SHOTGUN FIRES)
- (SLASHES)
- (BODY THUDS)
- (FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING)
- What's going on?
KENNY BOY: I don't know.
(KENNY BOY CHUCKLES)
DEER LADY: What a surprise, Kenny Boy.
Yeah thank you, Deer Lady.
(SOFT CHUCKLE)
You been good?
No.
But I'm trying.
(DEER LADY CHUCKLES)
Wait, wait, wait.
I-Is this for real?
It's all real.
H-How how'd you know
I was in trouble?
Mm. Cookie told me.
(SNIFFLES)
DEER LADY: Oh
(DEER LADY EXHALES)
DEER LADY: You take care of yourself.
And keep being good.
Okay.
- DEER LADY: You, too.
- KENNY BOY: All right.
She's a good woman.
Dispatch, this is Big.
Officer needs assistance,
Dispatch, over.
(CHANTING)
MAN (OVER RADIO): This
is Dispatch, where you at?
Dispatch, we're near
Pretty Springs Lake,
probably a couple miles
deep in the woods. Over.
- Roger. Backup is on its way.
- All right.
Ah
Does this mean I'm deputized, Pauwu?
Oh, shit yeah, but I ain't your uncle.
(GRUNTS)
♪
MEN: Ours! Ours!
Ours! Ours! Ours! Ours!
Ours! Ours! Ours!
- Ours! Ours!
- Masks off, hands up!
- Ours!
- You're all under arrest!
- Get your sick ass over there.
- Back it up. Go, go.
KENNY BOY: Back it up, back it up.
You see what you get, fish fuckers?
See what you get when you mess
with shik'is and I?
Seriously? We were almost done.
Potluck after this.
Potluck's cancelled, boys.
GRAND CATFISH: Come on.
When was the last time you were invited
to a white people's party?
Do I look white to you?
- Yes.
- (MURMURING AGREEMENT)
You kind of do, Kenny Boy.
Fuck off, bilagáanas.
Arrest these nasty crackers.
A local Lighthorse man
and a man he deputized busted
- Hey!
- A little-known - but mythologized
secret society ceremony today.
Among their crimes are
assault on an officer
- Fascists.
- MAN: That fish was already dead.
And, more disturbing,
fornicating with catfish,
which surely is a big crime.
Apparently,
the Midstreamers stole a truck
full of frozen catfish
that distributes to local restaurants.
(RETCHES)
(SPITTING)
(RETCHING)
Hell nah.
MEN: Ours! Ours! Ours! Ours! Ours!
(INDISTINCT RADIO CHATTER)
BIG: Aho, Kenny Boy.
Aho, Big.
You're a good man.
I hope so.
Brother.
Lucky I don't fucking take you to jail.
I'm still tripping balls.
Aho.
I've seen Jesus play with
flames in a lake of fire ♪
That I was standing in ♪
♪
Met the devil in Seattle ♪
Spent nine months
inside the lion's den ♪
(WHISPERING): Ours. Ours. Ours. Ours.
Met Buddha yet another time ♪
Showed me a glowing light within ♪
But I swear that God is there ♪
Every time I stare into
the eyes of my best friend ♪
Says my son: it's all been done ♪
Someday you're gonna
wake up old and gray ♪
So go and try and have some fun ♪
Showing warmth to everyone ♪
You meet and greet
and cheat along the way ♪
There's a gateway in our minds ♪
That leads somewhere out there ♪
Far beyond this plane. ♪