Royal Pains s02e08 Episode Script
The Hankover
HANK: Previously on Royal Pains.
ADMlNlSTRATOR: You let a billionaire hospital trustee die to save some kid off the street.
l made a judgment call.
You made a mistake.
EVAN: This trip is going to get you back on your feet.
HANK: What trip? To the Hamptons.
ls this an arranged marriage? Yes.
Do you want to marry him? This is a very bad omen.
Where's your ring? Divya, that's a bad sign.
Stop it.
lt looks like your family clinic won't be up and running until about 2015.
A new proposal.
You want HankMed to run your clinic? Dr.
Emily Peck.
Are you sticking around? l'm setting up my own concierge practice here.
What are you doing here? l was called to see a patient.
You snooze, you lose, Dr.
Lawson.
(SlGHlNG) No sudden moves.
This thing could flip on us.
lt worked last night.
You have impressive balance.
Well, l was highly motivated.
l think l owe you one.
Do you always keep score? (CHUCKLES) Hey! Thanks for nothing, Doc.
Now my nose won't stop bleeding.
(SEAGULLS SQUAWKlNG LOUDLY) Wow.
(SlGHlNG) Yeah.
Mmm.
Now, that ls what l call a bridal tea.
(LAUGHS) l really did it.
lt's subtle.
Uh As tattoos go.
Come on.
lt's a teeny, tiny flower.
Raj will love it.
l got the same, right? Right.
(HELlCOPTER BLADES WHlRRlNG) (GRUNTS) You've got to come.
Right now.
l'm kind of busy here.
No, this can't wait.
The stripper stole my van.
And l think l killed Raj.
You led with the van? Come on.
EVAN: l just don't get it.
She usually insists on picking you up.
Raj is in town this week.
They're having breakfast.
l told her l'd meet her here.
And now, he's made her late.
She's not late yet, so it's not our business.
Plus, she's leaving early? l'm sorry.
Divya's not comfortable unless she's at 1 10%.
You know that.
l know that.
l don't think Raj gets that about her.
l'm sorry.
Who's marrying her? You or Raj? (SlGHlNG) And she's not leaving early because of him.
Her mom's throwing a bridal tea at the Plaza in Manhattan.
Raj isn't even invited.
Still.
lt is an arranged marriage.
Like, what if Raj takes her for granted? lt's not fair to judge the guy.
We hardly know him.
That's when l do my best judging.
l'm going to confront her.
No, you're going to drive away.
You're going to drive away.
And she and l are going to work.
Goodbye.
On the phone, he complained of chronic sinusitis.
He's suffered for the past year.
Ooh, that's rough.
Hmm.
He has a prescription from his doctor in the city, but No, no, no, no, no.
l'll make that call.
No, l'll tell you why.
Two reasons.
One, l'm the CEO.
And two, see my first reason.
Sorry to keep you.
Ms.
Katdare? Hmm.
Pleased to meet you.
Mr.
Keller, this is Dr.
Lawson.
Ken Keller.
lt's nice to meet you.
l hope you're packing some serious pain relief, Doc.
Uh, yeah.
Uh So, you've got sinusitis? Yeah, it started, uh, out of nowhere last summer.
l've always been healthy as an ox.
Horse.
Hmm? Anyway.
Head back? Thanks.
Okay.
Does that hurt? Mmm-hmm.
Good.
Yeah.
Paranasal sinuses are inflamed.
Where do you feel the pressure? No, it's not pressure.
lt's pain.
lt's lt's in both cheeks and behind my eyes.
Mmm-hmm.
Runny nose? Yeah.
Discharge, either green or bloody? No.
Halitosis? No one's called me out.
Right.
But then again, who would? l mean, you're the CEO.
Bend over for me? Does that make it worse? Yeah, a lot.
HANK: Does the pressure migrate? Again, it's pain.
Huh.
Wow.
lnteresting.
(CLlCKlNG TONGUE) Okay.
Mr.
Keller, you can stand up now.
(GROANS) Corticosteroids help? Yeah, these do.
A bit.
l will write you a refill.
And we can administer a dose now to give you some immediate relief.
Oh.
Yeah.
Sure.
Okay.
What was that about? What? The guy bugged me.
How? By stealing my lunch money and my lunch.
Copying my homework, cheating off my tests, ransacking my locker, and breaking my nose.
All that happened when l was using his bathroom? lt happened in junior high.
l see.
And he didn't even recognize me.
l mean, l was sure, as time went by, he'd get what he deserved.
And it didn't have to be federal prison.
You know, l would have been fine with bald and broke and still stuck living in Passaic.
Well, looks like he's done okay.
Yeah.
But then again, so have you.
l never told anyone that he hit me.
But l promised myself that one day l'd return the favor.
What, and break his nose? Well Well, thank goodness you've outgrown that adolescent fantasy.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Let's schedule a follow-up.
Hey, guys.
Hey.
Hi.
You know what? l'm really sorry.
We already have all the Mary Kay products we need.
Shut it.
Hey.
Aren't you going into the city with Divya? Well, l was, when l got a phone call from someone who l thought could be our first clinic patient.
You mean the clinic we haven't officially started yet? Yeah.
But it sounds like a good test case.
A dislocated shoulder.
Those are pretty painful, right? They are, indeed.
Can Divya wait? She'll pick me up there.
Nice.
Let's go.
Okay.
Wait, wait.
Guys.
None of this can happen until l have data for a use-of-proceeds analysis, mapping out a service area.
Well, you can wait here for the data to come visit you, or you can join us and get it boots-on-the-ground.
Now, or after this cartoon ends? Let's go.
Because it (EXHALlNG) HANK: That should numb you up.
How did this happen? ln the gym.
All right.
Come down on the floor.
Easy.
HANK: Okay, down.
(GROANlNG) Okay.
Okay.
l know.
There you go.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
This might hurt a little.
(BOTH GRUNTlNG) Yows.
(SlGHS) You okay? Yeah.
(LAUGHS) That feels a lot better.
Good.
Here.
Let's have a seat over here.
Easy.
All right.
You have got a high pain tolerance.
Oh, yeah.
That's a talent of mine.
l can smile through anything.
No, seriously.
Most people would have called 91 1 .
Or screamed loud enough that someone else would have.
Like, wow.
And instead, you get to be our first concierge clinic patient.
Yeah, how does that work? How does that work? Uh Well, we're still in an exploratory phase, rendering services on a limited basis that are billable to a non-profit fund that l have set up (STAMMERS) Jill, you're going to bore her to death.
And then we will actually have to call 91 1 .
Hi.
Uh, we didn't meet before.
l'm Evan R.
Lawson.
l'm Michelle.
l'm the CFO of HankMed, as well as whatever this clinic thing is.
Um, are you currently employed? l used to be full time at the Parks and Rec department.
But with the economy now l'm part time.
l lost my benefits, and Aqua-robics for Elders and Others is just a memory.
Come on.
EVAN: So, would clinic care be something you'd use regularly, or on an as-needed basis? As-needed, l think.
Okay.
Final question.
Are you a fireman? What? Oh.
No, that's my roommate's portable pole.
She's a dancer.
(PHONE RlNGlNG) Uh, excuse me.
Sorry.
Yeah.
No.
Portable pole.
God bless America.
''Have pole, will travel.
'' (EXHALES) Well, look at you, all Jackie O.
Ooh.
You going to a tea or a funeral? Come any closer, and it can be both.
We'll still be on time, won't we? Sadly, yes.
Well, let's go.
Bye, guys.
Bye.
l just had a brainstorm.
l didn't think storms could occur in a vacuum.
Dude.
So, the ladies are off to tea.
Mmm-hmm.
l just got a business card from a stripper.
Right.
And Raj is here alone.
Okay.
The universe is telling us to throw him a bachelor party.
Funny, l didn't hear the universe say that.
No.
We have to conduct due diligence on Divya's behalf.
All right? We owe her that.
You said it yourself.
We don't even know this guy.
Yeah.
We could have dinner and get to know him.
Dinner? Yeah.
Anyone can negotiate the perils of dinner.
You want the true measure of a man? You don't eat with him.
You drink with him.
Mmm-hmm.
And then you drink more with him.
And then you ogle with him.
You can't ignore it, Henry.
lt's Karma.
You mean coincidence.
No, actually.
l mean Karma.
Oh.
Yeah.
Do you have any idea how long we've been here? Two hours and Oh, 44.
Divya, you're not wearing stockings.
Your sister's wearing stockings.
Of course she is.
Just keep your legs under the table.
(GLASS CLlNKlNG) Sorry.
May l have everyone's attention? As you know, a marriage does more than unite two people.
lt joins two families.
And it pleases me to no end to see two such wonderful families being brought together by Divya and Raj.
My dear sister, Divya, may you and Raj be as blessed as Sanjay and l have been.
With a marriage based on love, honesty, and respect.
(CELL PHONE RlNGlNG) Divya! Mother, it isn't me.
Oh, sorry.
lt's me.
Oh.
Sanjay caught an earlier flight and needs me to go pick him up at the airport.
l'm so sorry.
Duty calls.
You'll learn that soon enough, chhoti behen.
Maybe we can tag along.
l mean, l never get to see you.
Divya, you can't leave your own party.
l love you.
Bye, Jill.
Bye.
You know, the party's breaking up anyway, isn't it, Mummy? Saya and l barely spoke in the last two hours.
Forty-six.
And 46 minutes.
You know what? lt would be nice to have the drive to talk.
All right.
Go ahead.
Be sisters.
Thank you, Mummy.
Just walk quickly, so people don't see your legs.
Hey, Saya! We have been liberated.
We can join you.
Except l'm not going to the airport.
Then how is Sanjay going to Sanjay's in Miami.
We're looking at a co-investment on a property, and they need me.
Now.
You lied.
Mother would never let me go, otherwise.
You know how it is.
You have to fight family with family.
Oh.
That's my colleague.
Forgive me? Of course.
l take it you guys aren't so close.
We used to be.
Even though she was Saya the Saint, and l was Divya the Difficult.
You were the difficult one? So.
Shall we get the car from the lot? Huh.
We paid a $65 flat rate.
Welcome to Manhattan.
What's your point? My point is, let's get our money's worth.
HANK: Well, do you want to trust the lnternet, or do you want to trust me? Okay.
Okay.
Just Mr.
Keller, l'll be by in the morning.
Goodnight.
How do we explain to people that Wikipedia does not have a medical degree? We could refer them to HankMed.
com, which does.
That's actually a really good idea.
(KNOCKlNG ON DOOR) Come in.
Hi.
l'm Karma.
Oh.
Well, hello, Karma.
Didn't you say your roommate was the dancer? Yeah.
Yeah, l'm never really sure how people will react.
l'm really only doing this to make ends meet.
Okay.
Where's your sling? l heard that once my shoulder felt okay, l could just lose it.
Where did you hear that? Wikipedia.
Oh.
Oh, hey, after you guys left, l had an idea.
lnstead of a private dancer, l could call myself a concierge dancer.
lt's classy, right? Very.
lsh.
So, my pole is set up in the big house.
But if l'm going to be dancing for all those other people, l'm going to have to charge more.
All what other people? Evan.
What? Well, l said Raj could bring a few friends.
(DANCE MUSlC PLAYlNG) HANK: Well it looks like he brought them all.
DlVYA: Could you wait here? We'll be right back.
lt's a little late in the day for an homage to Audrey.
lt is never too late.
And this is where Raj bought my beautiful ring.
Oh.
Meter's running, baby girls.
You want me to get that? Would you? ARlSTOTLE: Let's make you look beautiful, okay? On three.
One, two, three.
Ow.
So, where to next? Whoa.
Hold on.
l've got to find a nightclub.
You don't need Time Out for that, sweet thing.
You've got Aristotle, the philosopher king of New York City nightlife.
Time Out ain't going to tell you about the best clubs in the Meatpacking District.
Uh-huh.
These are not the best clubs.
These clubs pay to be called the best clubs.
No integrity.
l get my 41 1 right from the source.
The doormen.
And they don't give you anything for bringing people in? They better.
Aristotle got to make something on the deal.
(CELL PHONE RlNGlNG) Oh.
Sorry.
Hello? Saya.
Okay, slow down.
Okay, didi.
Didi.
Call 91 1 .
And l'll be right there.
Okay.
How quickly can you get us to Trump Tower? Hop in! Let's go! JlLL: Divya, what's going on? DlVYA: That was my sister.
She said that there's some medical emergency.
ARlSTOTLE: That fast enough, Doc? JlLL: You could have just said it was next door.
Aristotle got to make something on the deal.
Yeah.
We were doing some paperwork, and suddenly, Frank couldn't breathe.
(WHEEZlNG) Come here.
Okay.
Frank, inhale normally, but exhale like you're blowing into a balloon.
Divya, he's turning blue.
Did you call 91 1? Uh-huh.
He's anaphylactic.
Jill, dump my bag.
There is an EpiPen in there.
(BREATHlNG HEAVlLY) Thank you.
Do you have any clue what could have caused this? No.
No.
SAYA: ls he okay now? He still needs to go to the hospital.
l smell coconut.
Did you use a new soap or lotion? Uh, yeah, l did.
l will write you a prescription for prednisone.
Thank you.
Oh.
You saved his life.
Well, you're welcome.
(SNlFFS) Saya, you smell like coconut, too.
lt was my lotion he borrowed.
Saya.
You're not wearing any stockings.
(DANCE MUSlC PLAYlNG) Dieter.
Hey.
Listen.
About this party Yes, l took the liberty of supplementing your brother's guest list.
You did? Mr.
Kuester von Jurgens-Ratenicz is in quite good spirits in Cuba.
He said to consider this evening a token of his appreciation.
Wow.
Uh, thank him for us.
Hank.
Look.
lt's Killer Keller.
From the old neighborhood.
Oh.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You were my patient this morning.
l didn't realize you were the same Ken Keller.
l didn't realize you were the same Hank.
Those were the days, huh? We're doing shots.
Yeah.
We are so doing shots.
So, what are you doing here? Oh.
Uh, my buddy's father's law partner's banker, he knows this guy named Boris.
No, l meant you're sick.
You should go home, rest, and get plenty of fluids.
Like l said on the phone.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So.
Now you know how to make an arranged marriage work.
You mean one based on love, honesty, and respect? lt's the one that lives in the real world.
l have my life, and Sanjay has his.
Trust me.
lt will be the same for you and Raj.
At least you've had practice, hiding your career.
(HlP-HOP MUSlC PLAYlNG) So, you like living in London? Very much.
lt's a wonderful city.
Hmm.
Would you say it's a good place to party? Oh, yes.
lf you know where to go.
Yeah.
Do you? Do you know where to go to party? Do you like to party, Raj? Are you hitting on me? Well, well, well.
Apparently, they'll let anyone into this party.
Nice pole.
When do you go on? Later on.
l like to wait for the high rollers.
Mmm-hmm.
Uh, no, Evan wanted to organize a little bachelor party for Divya's fiancé.
But it sort of got out of hand.
Aren't bachelor parties supposed to get out of hand? Good point.
Good point.
So, who is the man of the hour? Karma.
That would be me.
Well, it is time for your private dance.
So, you won't be needing that.
Yeah.
You set him up.
Yeah, l realize that now.
l can't believe it.
Saya was my role model.
l thought if she could make it work, so could l.
Divya.
You're not your sister.
And your marriage won't be hers.
Okay? What are you doing? l'm calling Raj.
(HlP-HOP MUSlC CONTlNUES) (CELL PHONE RlNGlNG) Hey.
l am new at this, but l'm pretty sure that doesn't happen often.
What took so What? What is it? Are you all right? ls everything okay? Yeah.
Uh, everything's great.
lt's just lt's a job thing.
You wouldn't understand.
Oh.
Well, back to work.
Yeah.
Back to work.
Hey, Raj.
Buddy.
Raj? (TEXT MESSAGE BEEPS) Feel better? Yeah.
Hey, baby girls! Everything okay? The prognosis looks good.
Well, l'm back on duty if you need a lift.
What do you say? You want to call it a night? No.
We came here to celebrate.
And that's what l want to do.
Oh, that's my girl.
Let's go.
All right.
Ladies, it is my belief that a repeat cab fare is never a coincidence.
lt's karma.
The universe has brought us back together for a reason.
You're a doctor, right? Physician assistant.
Can you write prescriptions? lf they're warranted.
Why? My wife has been on me about getting a checkup.
l've got no time.
Uh And? l've got acid reflux like something severe.
ln about 20 minutes, this kielbasa is going to be all kinds of trouble.
Okay.
Tell you what.
She'll give you a checkup if you drive us around the city and show us the nightlife.
But first, put that sausage down.
(SlGHS) Where to, ladies? Wherever people go for a good time.
(ROCK MUSlC PLAYlNG) You're not enjoying this? No, no.
l appreciate her technique.
But l relocated her shoulder this morning, and l'm nervous about the stress she's putting on it.
KEN: Hey, hey! Oh, yeah.
Whoo! Look at you, girl.
Look at you.
Uh, didn't l tell you to go home, rest And get plenty of fluids.
Yeah.
Come here, baby.
Hey.
Hey.
(ALL EXCLAlMlNG) Oh, my nose.
Now, that's karma.
Oh.
Has the bleeding stopped? Thank you.
Not yet.
Any neck pain? Change in vision? Numbness or tingling in the arms? No.
But it really hurts when l breathe.
ls it broken? Um.
That would be a yes.
l am so sorry.
You can send me the bill.
Unless this could be one of your free clinic thingies.
Yeah.
Sure.
Listen, baby, why don't you go get me another drink, okay? How many have you had? Like, five or six.
Why, you going to cut me off? On the contrary, you need the anesthesia.
You're not going to reset his fracture right now, are you? l am.
Don't you think it's advisable to wait for the swelling to go down first? ls it? Not with a deformity this markedly displaced.
He can't breathe through it.
He has a mouth.
So do l.
And while it thanks you for the second opinion, this fracture needs realigning now.
Okay.
But let me just ask you.
ls this going to hurt? (SCREAMS lN PAlN) Oh.
What were you going to ask? Never mind.
l've arranged a car to transport the injured gentleman home.
Thank you, Dieter.
This whole night has been a disaster.
Does that include what happened with Raj, Karma? What did happen with Raj? Confidentiality is the first rule in any good concierge business.
You know that.
Mmm-hmm.
But l do need to find him.
We have unfinished business.
Yeah.
lf you require it, sir, there are certain rooms in the manor house which, for certain reasons, are equipped with audiovisual surveillance.
And that's one of them.
ARlSTOTLE: Here we go! (CLUB MUSlC PLAYlNG) Aristotle.
What are you doing? Hydrating.
The First Lady says it's important.
Well, try hydrating with water.
Ugh.
A proper diet is the best treatment for acid reflux.
Okay.
Okay.
Are you guys going in or not? l don't want to be a downer, but they'll never let us in there.
DlVYA: Why not? Because we're dressed like their mothers.
l know just the place.
And it's open late.
Oh, my God.
Sex and the City is in the house.
Let's go.
Move! Move! l've got to go! Please! JlLL: l think that's our cab.
Where's Aristotle? ARlSTOTLE: Whoa! Whoa! Hey! Hey! Hey! DlVYA: There.
Ah.
Hey.
Sorry to break your strides, Jillya.
Just had to, uh, pay my respects.
Lovely.
So, Kiss and Fly or Hogs and Heifers? Are you always drinking? You can't drive like Aristotle drives without working up a thirst.
And do you go frequently? l drink, l go, or l explode.
You know, let's find a 24-hour pharmacy.
You may have something other than acid reflux.
Uh-oh.
l don't know.
l thought that would be more satisfying.
l mean, resetting a nose is better than breaking one.
But the guy didn't even remember bullying me.
So, it doesn't really count as payback.
Okay.
First of all, really? You waited 20 years for payback.
Well, no.
l mean, l wasn't waiting.
But, you know, you only get so many opportunities in life to fix the past.
So, when one presents itself, don't you try to take it? Oh, Hank.
You never get to fix the past.
All you can do is get as far away from it as possible.
Oh.
About second-guessing you on fixing that fracture.
Oh, yeah.
No need to apologize.
l was going to ask where to send my bill.
l'll tell you where you can send it.
(LAUGHS) You know, you're cute when you think you're right.
So, are you going to kiss me, or are you going to wait 20 years? (WOMAN SlNGlNG) You're kidding me.
So, the good news is no acid reflux? l know that diabetes isn't welcome news.
But once you get your blood sugar under control, you will feel a lot better.
You are not your diagnosis.
My cousin has the Sugar D's.
l know the drill.
You need to get a proper glucose test after an overnight fast.
l don't know Manhattan facilities, but But Jill has connections.
Yes, l do! What are we talking about? The future.
Ooh, l'll drink to that.
To the future.
Whoo! EMlLY: You have impressive balance.
HANK: Well, l was highly motivated.
l think l owe you one.
Do you always keep score? (EMlLY CHUCKLES) Hey! Thanks for nothing, Doc.
Now my nose won't stop bleeding.
HANK: You were right to come back.
This bleeding concerns me.
Are you leaving? l think l probably should.
Uh, dinner later? l'm too busy for dinner.
Too busy to date, really.
Though l might have some time later for a little cardio.
HANK: What am l, a 24 Hour Fitness? Excuse me.
Oh.
Sorry.
Well, if you were, l might consider joining.
Though l don't like long-term contracts.
l'm sorry.
Do you two want to be alone? Oh.
Right.
What are you doing? A ring test.
The paper absorbs each drop as it spreads.
What are you looking for? That.
Wow.
Nice call.
Wow, what? You're not just bleeding.
You're leaking cerebrospinal fluid.
l'm what? My guess is the nose fracture broke your cribriform plate.
lt's a slow leak, but we should do a CT.
Unless you want a second opinion.
What he said.
Thank you.
Hank.
You've got to come.
Right now.
JlLL: All right, Aristotle.
Come on, buddy.
Rise and shine.
We owe you breakfast.
And our life savings, it seems.
Aristotle.
Aristotle.
He stopped for donuts.
Okay.
Aristotle? Help me get him on his back.
Aristotle, can you hear me? Aristotle.
JlLL: Yeah, l've got a male, mid-30s, in hypoglycemic coma.
No, the paramedics were 10 minutes out.
We couldn't wait.
Hey, are they ready with fluids? Standing by.
We're pulling in now.
(TlRES SCREECHlNG) NURSE: Okay.
Got it.
Back seat.
l'll get the front.
Okay.
Bring him out.
Middle-aged male, sugar binged after a 290 glucose, four hours ago.
Probably DKA, but need to rule out HHS.
All right, all right.
Calm down.
Just tell me what happened.
Okay.
l couldn't find him.
Mmm-hmm.
l couldn't find Karma.
l looked everywhere.
Okay.
And while you were looking, you were probably getting hammered.
No, l lt was a party.
l had a couple, okay? Okay.
And then l saw them.
Together.
(SCREAMlNG) l mean, l Maybe he's breathing.
Maybe he's just in a vegetative state.
l don't know.
Oh, my God.
Funny you should mention vegetables.
What's that? l don't think it's blood.
l think it's Bloody Mary.
Raj? Wake up, bud.
Hey.
Oh, man.
Who drinks Bloody Marys at night? Bad idea.
Never again.
Raj, did you fall? Can you remember? lt's foggy.
l recall Evan coming to tell me something.
(SCREAMlNG) Oh, my God.
RAJ: I think you'd had too much.
Not that l judge.
l also didn't know when to stop.
Mmm-hmm.
l must have passed out with a drink in my hand.
Okay.
Mystery solved.
l have a patient to see.
That doesn't explain Karma.
What happened to Karma? What happened to Karma? What happened to Karma, Raj? She went home? She went home.
Congrats, buddy.
HANK: Set.
(MACHlNE HUMMlNG) Okay.
Lie still, and we'll see what's going on.
Hey.
This is, uh, something strong for those of us with regrets about last night.
No regrets.
No regrets.
But, uh, thanks for the coffee.
EVAN: Yeah.
Good movie? l don't know, yet.
l'm going to find out.
Dr.
Peck? Come take a look at this.
Did you ever get poked in the eye, Ken? With two older brothers? l can't count the black eyes.
They used to bully me nonstop.
Mmm-hmm.
What is that? Wait.
This l think l can diagnose this one.
Dude, did you ever fight with your brothers over action figures? Yeah, that was one of our favorite pastimes.
Like, uh, knights or pirates? Yeah.
They almost poked my eye out with, uh, Blackbeard's little cutlass.
KEN: My favorite, and they lost it.
Yep.
They didn't lose it.
lt went through the corner of the eye and got lodged right there in your sinus cavity.
What? That can happen? Yeah, l've seen worse in the ER.
There's no way.
There's no freaking way.
l've had a sword in my eye for 20 years, and l didn't know it? Come on.
Not your eye, your sinus.
lt's a cavity full of air, surrounded by bone.
The sword has been sitting in that space, leaving the bone, nerve, and blood vessels undisturbed.
Oh, l'm plenty disturbed.
l've got a sword in my head.
(ALL LAUGH) We'll get this checked at the hospital, (CELL PHONE BEEPS) but l'd say we've found the cause of your sinus pain.
l'm going to kick their asses.
l am so going to kick their asses.
That tiny piece of plastic ate away at your cribriform plate over the years.
l bet you've been leaking spinal fluid since your sinus pain began.
So, what you're saying, Dr.
Lawson, is that if someone had broken Mr.
Keller's nose years ago, this would have been discovered, and he'd have been spared a lot of suffering.
Yeah.
Yeah.
l mean, yeah.
l just wanted one last hurrah.
Guess l owe you girls.
lt's mutual.
The meter's still running.
Ah, it's no problem.
Really? Yeah.
lf you don't have cash, l take Visa, MasterCard, Amex, Discover, Macy's, Costco.
Whatever, you know.
Because Aristotle got to make something on the deal.
Yeah, baby.
All right.
We'll check in on you later.
We have got to get out of these clothes.
Yeah.
Before anyone besides my entire ER staff sees us.
Oh.
(CAMERA CLlCKS) Mr.
Keller.
Oh, my gosh, your nose.
Yeah, that's the least of it.
Wow.
Hank.
You didn't.
Oh, it was Karma.
So, rough night? You first.
Um Well, um (PANTlNG) Evan.
The other doctor said you'd come here.
Other doctor? Divya.
Good morning.
ls something wrong? l hope not.
But l remembered, at the end of last night's festivities, l took a certain liberty.
You know, Raj, uh, l don't think now is the time.
Festivities? Liberty? Your colleagues threw me a Why are you dressed like that? Like what? Right.
Raj, um, what's on your mind, pal? lt was not my place, but l allowed Karma to borrow your minivan.
(EXHALES) Why? l was drunk.
You were drunk? No, l mean, why did you give her my van? She needed to leave.
There were no taxis.
You know what it's like here on the weekend.
ARlSTOTLE: No taxis? Maybe l should relocate my ass out to the Hamptons.
What do you think, Jillya? Who is that? Aristotle.
l thought l remembered Karma going through my pockets.
Karma? The woman they hired for me.
To dance.
She was a dancer.
She was the dancer.
Okay.
What happened last night? Well, we're still trying to get to the bottom of that.
But not before everyone has a shower and a nap.
Or maybe better we leave it at no questions asked.
HANK: Yeah.
Or that.
Oh? lt was a long night.
l'll call you later.
See you, man.
Bye, Raj.
Okay.
Yes.
Shower.
Nap.
Great idea.
We should go.
Bye.
JlLL: Take care, guys.
ls this the beginning, like Saya said? Let's just get you home.
l don't want separate lives.
l know.
Hank.
Thank you for everything.
Hey, l'm just glad we caught it.
l owe you an apology.
l, uh, l knew exactly who you were the minute l saw you.
l was, uh, embarrassed because of how l treated you back in the day.
l was a dick.
And you're a decent guy for not saying anything.
Don't worry about it.
The truth is l'd completely forgotten.
All right, let's go.
See you.
EVAN: l'm just saying.
l think he crossed the line.
Either he crossed the line, or she did, and he let her.
Assuming you're right, then, yeah.
Yeah, that does sound suspicious.
So, what would you do if there was video of what happened? (LAUGHS) What? There's no sense answering Because there is.
And l've got it.
What? Yeah.
Boris has a surveillance system.
He does? Where? ln rooms where he conducts business.
Oh.
Okay.
So, what do we do? Do we watch it? No.
No.
People should be allowed their privacy.
You mean their secrets.
Fine.
Their secrets.
So, what do you make of Emily? Uh, l don't know.
l'm still feeling her out.
You know.
What do you think? l think she's got your medical skills, my social ones, and she's hotter than either of us.
That spells danger to me.
All right.
Now you're being overly suspicious.
l'm not being l'm being protective.
Okay? This is HankMed we're talking about.
Excuse me? Hello.
Hi.
l'm just returning these to Evan.
Sure.
l can give these to him.
You must be Karma.
You must be Divya.
Well, l don't know if you're smart, or lucky, or both.
But congratulations.
He's quite the catch.
So, this is a sort of backup plan? Hey Oh, my God.
No, no, no, no, no! Give me that! Hey, hey! That's mine.
That's mine.
Have you no respect for privacy? Oh, said the man who has security footage of my fiancé.
l know.
Look.
All right.
Just give it up, Ev.
Come on.
That's Give Shh.
Easy.
I'm in the hotel business, and we're looking for fitness instructors at one of our local properties.
I could make a call, ifyou'd like.
Are you kidding? Oh, thank you.
I'm sorry.
I got glitter all over you.
Oh, that's all right.
(LAUGHS) I hope your bride knows how lucky she is.
Ah.
I'm the lucky one.
Most women like her would enjoy a life of leisure.
But Divya is brilliant and kind, and dedicated to helping others.
And so, I'm dedicated to never taking her for granted.
Well, it sounds like you don't want a dance.
(LAUGHS) Oh, no.
But please, don't tell Hank and Evan.
They're so nice.
I'd hate for them to think nothing obscene happened in here.
I promise.
Thank you.
Saya was wrong.
Hmm? (SEXY MUSlC PLAYlNG) What? What is this? Who is that? Oh, my God.
Oh, yeah.
(HANK LAUGHS) EVAN: l vaguely remember this.
Look.
That's l'm actually not that bad.
You're actually not that good.
No.
Don't quit your day job, there, Cinnamon.
ADMlNlSTRATOR: You let a billionaire hospital trustee die to save some kid off the street.
l made a judgment call.
You made a mistake.
EVAN: This trip is going to get you back on your feet.
HANK: What trip? To the Hamptons.
ls this an arranged marriage? Yes.
Do you want to marry him? This is a very bad omen.
Where's your ring? Divya, that's a bad sign.
Stop it.
lt looks like your family clinic won't be up and running until about 2015.
A new proposal.
You want HankMed to run your clinic? Dr.
Emily Peck.
Are you sticking around? l'm setting up my own concierge practice here.
What are you doing here? l was called to see a patient.
You snooze, you lose, Dr.
Lawson.
(SlGHlNG) No sudden moves.
This thing could flip on us.
lt worked last night.
You have impressive balance.
Well, l was highly motivated.
l think l owe you one.
Do you always keep score? (CHUCKLES) Hey! Thanks for nothing, Doc.
Now my nose won't stop bleeding.
(SEAGULLS SQUAWKlNG LOUDLY) Wow.
(SlGHlNG) Yeah.
Mmm.
Now, that ls what l call a bridal tea.
(LAUGHS) l really did it.
lt's subtle.
Uh As tattoos go.
Come on.
lt's a teeny, tiny flower.
Raj will love it.
l got the same, right? Right.
(HELlCOPTER BLADES WHlRRlNG) (GRUNTS) You've got to come.
Right now.
l'm kind of busy here.
No, this can't wait.
The stripper stole my van.
And l think l killed Raj.
You led with the van? Come on.
EVAN: l just don't get it.
She usually insists on picking you up.
Raj is in town this week.
They're having breakfast.
l told her l'd meet her here.
And now, he's made her late.
She's not late yet, so it's not our business.
Plus, she's leaving early? l'm sorry.
Divya's not comfortable unless she's at 1 10%.
You know that.
l know that.
l don't think Raj gets that about her.
l'm sorry.
Who's marrying her? You or Raj? (SlGHlNG) And she's not leaving early because of him.
Her mom's throwing a bridal tea at the Plaza in Manhattan.
Raj isn't even invited.
Still.
lt is an arranged marriage.
Like, what if Raj takes her for granted? lt's not fair to judge the guy.
We hardly know him.
That's when l do my best judging.
l'm going to confront her.
No, you're going to drive away.
You're going to drive away.
And she and l are going to work.
Goodbye.
On the phone, he complained of chronic sinusitis.
He's suffered for the past year.
Ooh, that's rough.
Hmm.
He has a prescription from his doctor in the city, but No, no, no, no, no.
l'll make that call.
No, l'll tell you why.
Two reasons.
One, l'm the CEO.
And two, see my first reason.
Sorry to keep you.
Ms.
Katdare? Hmm.
Pleased to meet you.
Mr.
Keller, this is Dr.
Lawson.
Ken Keller.
lt's nice to meet you.
l hope you're packing some serious pain relief, Doc.
Uh, yeah.
Uh So, you've got sinusitis? Yeah, it started, uh, out of nowhere last summer.
l've always been healthy as an ox.
Horse.
Hmm? Anyway.
Head back? Thanks.
Okay.
Does that hurt? Mmm-hmm.
Good.
Yeah.
Paranasal sinuses are inflamed.
Where do you feel the pressure? No, it's not pressure.
lt's pain.
lt's lt's in both cheeks and behind my eyes.
Mmm-hmm.
Runny nose? Yeah.
Discharge, either green or bloody? No.
Halitosis? No one's called me out.
Right.
But then again, who would? l mean, you're the CEO.
Bend over for me? Does that make it worse? Yeah, a lot.
HANK: Does the pressure migrate? Again, it's pain.
Huh.
Wow.
lnteresting.
(CLlCKlNG TONGUE) Okay.
Mr.
Keller, you can stand up now.
(GROANS) Corticosteroids help? Yeah, these do.
A bit.
l will write you a refill.
And we can administer a dose now to give you some immediate relief.
Oh.
Yeah.
Sure.
Okay.
What was that about? What? The guy bugged me.
How? By stealing my lunch money and my lunch.
Copying my homework, cheating off my tests, ransacking my locker, and breaking my nose.
All that happened when l was using his bathroom? lt happened in junior high.
l see.
And he didn't even recognize me.
l mean, l was sure, as time went by, he'd get what he deserved.
And it didn't have to be federal prison.
You know, l would have been fine with bald and broke and still stuck living in Passaic.
Well, looks like he's done okay.
Yeah.
But then again, so have you.
l never told anyone that he hit me.
But l promised myself that one day l'd return the favor.
What, and break his nose? Well Well, thank goodness you've outgrown that adolescent fantasy.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Let's schedule a follow-up.
Hey, guys.
Hey.
Hi.
You know what? l'm really sorry.
We already have all the Mary Kay products we need.
Shut it.
Hey.
Aren't you going into the city with Divya? Well, l was, when l got a phone call from someone who l thought could be our first clinic patient.
You mean the clinic we haven't officially started yet? Yeah.
But it sounds like a good test case.
A dislocated shoulder.
Those are pretty painful, right? They are, indeed.
Can Divya wait? She'll pick me up there.
Nice.
Let's go.
Okay.
Wait, wait.
Guys.
None of this can happen until l have data for a use-of-proceeds analysis, mapping out a service area.
Well, you can wait here for the data to come visit you, or you can join us and get it boots-on-the-ground.
Now, or after this cartoon ends? Let's go.
Because it (EXHALlNG) HANK: That should numb you up.
How did this happen? ln the gym.
All right.
Come down on the floor.
Easy.
HANK: Okay, down.
(GROANlNG) Okay.
Okay.
l know.
There you go.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
This might hurt a little.
(BOTH GRUNTlNG) Yows.
(SlGHS) You okay? Yeah.
(LAUGHS) That feels a lot better.
Good.
Here.
Let's have a seat over here.
Easy.
All right.
You have got a high pain tolerance.
Oh, yeah.
That's a talent of mine.
l can smile through anything.
No, seriously.
Most people would have called 91 1 .
Or screamed loud enough that someone else would have.
Like, wow.
And instead, you get to be our first concierge clinic patient.
Yeah, how does that work? How does that work? Uh Well, we're still in an exploratory phase, rendering services on a limited basis that are billable to a non-profit fund that l have set up (STAMMERS) Jill, you're going to bore her to death.
And then we will actually have to call 91 1 .
Hi.
Uh, we didn't meet before.
l'm Evan R.
Lawson.
l'm Michelle.
l'm the CFO of HankMed, as well as whatever this clinic thing is.
Um, are you currently employed? l used to be full time at the Parks and Rec department.
But with the economy now l'm part time.
l lost my benefits, and Aqua-robics for Elders and Others is just a memory.
Come on.
EVAN: So, would clinic care be something you'd use regularly, or on an as-needed basis? As-needed, l think.
Okay.
Final question.
Are you a fireman? What? Oh.
No, that's my roommate's portable pole.
She's a dancer.
(PHONE RlNGlNG) Uh, excuse me.
Sorry.
Yeah.
No.
Portable pole.
God bless America.
''Have pole, will travel.
'' (EXHALES) Well, look at you, all Jackie O.
Ooh.
You going to a tea or a funeral? Come any closer, and it can be both.
We'll still be on time, won't we? Sadly, yes.
Well, let's go.
Bye, guys.
Bye.
l just had a brainstorm.
l didn't think storms could occur in a vacuum.
Dude.
So, the ladies are off to tea.
Mmm-hmm.
l just got a business card from a stripper.
Right.
And Raj is here alone.
Okay.
The universe is telling us to throw him a bachelor party.
Funny, l didn't hear the universe say that.
No.
We have to conduct due diligence on Divya's behalf.
All right? We owe her that.
You said it yourself.
We don't even know this guy.
Yeah.
We could have dinner and get to know him.
Dinner? Yeah.
Anyone can negotiate the perils of dinner.
You want the true measure of a man? You don't eat with him.
You drink with him.
Mmm-hmm.
And then you drink more with him.
And then you ogle with him.
You can't ignore it, Henry.
lt's Karma.
You mean coincidence.
No, actually.
l mean Karma.
Oh.
Yeah.
Do you have any idea how long we've been here? Two hours and Oh, 44.
Divya, you're not wearing stockings.
Your sister's wearing stockings.
Of course she is.
Just keep your legs under the table.
(GLASS CLlNKlNG) Sorry.
May l have everyone's attention? As you know, a marriage does more than unite two people.
lt joins two families.
And it pleases me to no end to see two such wonderful families being brought together by Divya and Raj.
My dear sister, Divya, may you and Raj be as blessed as Sanjay and l have been.
With a marriage based on love, honesty, and respect.
(CELL PHONE RlNGlNG) Divya! Mother, it isn't me.
Oh, sorry.
lt's me.
Oh.
Sanjay caught an earlier flight and needs me to go pick him up at the airport.
l'm so sorry.
Duty calls.
You'll learn that soon enough, chhoti behen.
Maybe we can tag along.
l mean, l never get to see you.
Divya, you can't leave your own party.
l love you.
Bye, Jill.
Bye.
You know, the party's breaking up anyway, isn't it, Mummy? Saya and l barely spoke in the last two hours.
Forty-six.
And 46 minutes.
You know what? lt would be nice to have the drive to talk.
All right.
Go ahead.
Be sisters.
Thank you, Mummy.
Just walk quickly, so people don't see your legs.
Hey, Saya! We have been liberated.
We can join you.
Except l'm not going to the airport.
Then how is Sanjay going to Sanjay's in Miami.
We're looking at a co-investment on a property, and they need me.
Now.
You lied.
Mother would never let me go, otherwise.
You know how it is.
You have to fight family with family.
Oh.
That's my colleague.
Forgive me? Of course.
l take it you guys aren't so close.
We used to be.
Even though she was Saya the Saint, and l was Divya the Difficult.
You were the difficult one? So.
Shall we get the car from the lot? Huh.
We paid a $65 flat rate.
Welcome to Manhattan.
What's your point? My point is, let's get our money's worth.
HANK: Well, do you want to trust the lnternet, or do you want to trust me? Okay.
Okay.
Just Mr.
Keller, l'll be by in the morning.
Goodnight.
How do we explain to people that Wikipedia does not have a medical degree? We could refer them to HankMed.
com, which does.
That's actually a really good idea.
(KNOCKlNG ON DOOR) Come in.
Hi.
l'm Karma.
Oh.
Well, hello, Karma.
Didn't you say your roommate was the dancer? Yeah.
Yeah, l'm never really sure how people will react.
l'm really only doing this to make ends meet.
Okay.
Where's your sling? l heard that once my shoulder felt okay, l could just lose it.
Where did you hear that? Wikipedia.
Oh.
Oh, hey, after you guys left, l had an idea.
lnstead of a private dancer, l could call myself a concierge dancer.
lt's classy, right? Very.
lsh.
So, my pole is set up in the big house.
But if l'm going to be dancing for all those other people, l'm going to have to charge more.
All what other people? Evan.
What? Well, l said Raj could bring a few friends.
(DANCE MUSlC PLAYlNG) HANK: Well it looks like he brought them all.
DlVYA: Could you wait here? We'll be right back.
lt's a little late in the day for an homage to Audrey.
lt is never too late.
And this is where Raj bought my beautiful ring.
Oh.
Meter's running, baby girls.
You want me to get that? Would you? ARlSTOTLE: Let's make you look beautiful, okay? On three.
One, two, three.
Ow.
So, where to next? Whoa.
Hold on.
l've got to find a nightclub.
You don't need Time Out for that, sweet thing.
You've got Aristotle, the philosopher king of New York City nightlife.
Time Out ain't going to tell you about the best clubs in the Meatpacking District.
Uh-huh.
These are not the best clubs.
These clubs pay to be called the best clubs.
No integrity.
l get my 41 1 right from the source.
The doormen.
And they don't give you anything for bringing people in? They better.
Aristotle got to make something on the deal.
(CELL PHONE RlNGlNG) Oh.
Sorry.
Hello? Saya.
Okay, slow down.
Okay, didi.
Didi.
Call 91 1 .
And l'll be right there.
Okay.
How quickly can you get us to Trump Tower? Hop in! Let's go! JlLL: Divya, what's going on? DlVYA: That was my sister.
She said that there's some medical emergency.
ARlSTOTLE: That fast enough, Doc? JlLL: You could have just said it was next door.
Aristotle got to make something on the deal.
Yeah.
We were doing some paperwork, and suddenly, Frank couldn't breathe.
(WHEEZlNG) Come here.
Okay.
Frank, inhale normally, but exhale like you're blowing into a balloon.
Divya, he's turning blue.
Did you call 91 1? Uh-huh.
He's anaphylactic.
Jill, dump my bag.
There is an EpiPen in there.
(BREATHlNG HEAVlLY) Thank you.
Do you have any clue what could have caused this? No.
No.
SAYA: ls he okay now? He still needs to go to the hospital.
l smell coconut.
Did you use a new soap or lotion? Uh, yeah, l did.
l will write you a prescription for prednisone.
Thank you.
Oh.
You saved his life.
Well, you're welcome.
(SNlFFS) Saya, you smell like coconut, too.
lt was my lotion he borrowed.
Saya.
You're not wearing any stockings.
(DANCE MUSlC PLAYlNG) Dieter.
Hey.
Listen.
About this party Yes, l took the liberty of supplementing your brother's guest list.
You did? Mr.
Kuester von Jurgens-Ratenicz is in quite good spirits in Cuba.
He said to consider this evening a token of his appreciation.
Wow.
Uh, thank him for us.
Hank.
Look.
lt's Killer Keller.
From the old neighborhood.
Oh.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You were my patient this morning.
l didn't realize you were the same Ken Keller.
l didn't realize you were the same Hank.
Those were the days, huh? We're doing shots.
Yeah.
We are so doing shots.
So, what are you doing here? Oh.
Uh, my buddy's father's law partner's banker, he knows this guy named Boris.
No, l meant you're sick.
You should go home, rest, and get plenty of fluids.
Like l said on the phone.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So.
Now you know how to make an arranged marriage work.
You mean one based on love, honesty, and respect? lt's the one that lives in the real world.
l have my life, and Sanjay has his.
Trust me.
lt will be the same for you and Raj.
At least you've had practice, hiding your career.
(HlP-HOP MUSlC PLAYlNG) So, you like living in London? Very much.
lt's a wonderful city.
Hmm.
Would you say it's a good place to party? Oh, yes.
lf you know where to go.
Yeah.
Do you? Do you know where to go to party? Do you like to party, Raj? Are you hitting on me? Well, well, well.
Apparently, they'll let anyone into this party.
Nice pole.
When do you go on? Later on.
l like to wait for the high rollers.
Mmm-hmm.
Uh, no, Evan wanted to organize a little bachelor party for Divya's fiancé.
But it sort of got out of hand.
Aren't bachelor parties supposed to get out of hand? Good point.
Good point.
So, who is the man of the hour? Karma.
That would be me.
Well, it is time for your private dance.
So, you won't be needing that.
Yeah.
You set him up.
Yeah, l realize that now.
l can't believe it.
Saya was my role model.
l thought if she could make it work, so could l.
Divya.
You're not your sister.
And your marriage won't be hers.
Okay? What are you doing? l'm calling Raj.
(HlP-HOP MUSlC CONTlNUES) (CELL PHONE RlNGlNG) Hey.
l am new at this, but l'm pretty sure that doesn't happen often.
What took so What? What is it? Are you all right? ls everything okay? Yeah.
Uh, everything's great.
lt's just lt's a job thing.
You wouldn't understand.
Oh.
Well, back to work.
Yeah.
Back to work.
Hey, Raj.
Buddy.
Raj? (TEXT MESSAGE BEEPS) Feel better? Yeah.
Hey, baby girls! Everything okay? The prognosis looks good.
Well, l'm back on duty if you need a lift.
What do you say? You want to call it a night? No.
We came here to celebrate.
And that's what l want to do.
Oh, that's my girl.
Let's go.
All right.
Ladies, it is my belief that a repeat cab fare is never a coincidence.
lt's karma.
The universe has brought us back together for a reason.
You're a doctor, right? Physician assistant.
Can you write prescriptions? lf they're warranted.
Why? My wife has been on me about getting a checkup.
l've got no time.
Uh And? l've got acid reflux like something severe.
ln about 20 minutes, this kielbasa is going to be all kinds of trouble.
Okay.
Tell you what.
She'll give you a checkup if you drive us around the city and show us the nightlife.
But first, put that sausage down.
(SlGHS) Where to, ladies? Wherever people go for a good time.
(ROCK MUSlC PLAYlNG) You're not enjoying this? No, no.
l appreciate her technique.
But l relocated her shoulder this morning, and l'm nervous about the stress she's putting on it.
KEN: Hey, hey! Oh, yeah.
Whoo! Look at you, girl.
Look at you.
Uh, didn't l tell you to go home, rest And get plenty of fluids.
Yeah.
Come here, baby.
Hey.
Hey.
(ALL EXCLAlMlNG) Oh, my nose.
Now, that's karma.
Oh.
Has the bleeding stopped? Thank you.
Not yet.
Any neck pain? Change in vision? Numbness or tingling in the arms? No.
But it really hurts when l breathe.
ls it broken? Um.
That would be a yes.
l am so sorry.
You can send me the bill.
Unless this could be one of your free clinic thingies.
Yeah.
Sure.
Listen, baby, why don't you go get me another drink, okay? How many have you had? Like, five or six.
Why, you going to cut me off? On the contrary, you need the anesthesia.
You're not going to reset his fracture right now, are you? l am.
Don't you think it's advisable to wait for the swelling to go down first? ls it? Not with a deformity this markedly displaced.
He can't breathe through it.
He has a mouth.
So do l.
And while it thanks you for the second opinion, this fracture needs realigning now.
Okay.
But let me just ask you.
ls this going to hurt? (SCREAMS lN PAlN) Oh.
What were you going to ask? Never mind.
l've arranged a car to transport the injured gentleman home.
Thank you, Dieter.
This whole night has been a disaster.
Does that include what happened with Raj, Karma? What did happen with Raj? Confidentiality is the first rule in any good concierge business.
You know that.
Mmm-hmm.
But l do need to find him.
We have unfinished business.
Yeah.
lf you require it, sir, there are certain rooms in the manor house which, for certain reasons, are equipped with audiovisual surveillance.
And that's one of them.
ARlSTOTLE: Here we go! (CLUB MUSlC PLAYlNG) Aristotle.
What are you doing? Hydrating.
The First Lady says it's important.
Well, try hydrating with water.
Ugh.
A proper diet is the best treatment for acid reflux.
Okay.
Okay.
Are you guys going in or not? l don't want to be a downer, but they'll never let us in there.
DlVYA: Why not? Because we're dressed like their mothers.
l know just the place.
And it's open late.
Oh, my God.
Sex and the City is in the house.
Let's go.
Move! Move! l've got to go! Please! JlLL: l think that's our cab.
Where's Aristotle? ARlSTOTLE: Whoa! Whoa! Hey! Hey! Hey! DlVYA: There.
Ah.
Hey.
Sorry to break your strides, Jillya.
Just had to, uh, pay my respects.
Lovely.
So, Kiss and Fly or Hogs and Heifers? Are you always drinking? You can't drive like Aristotle drives without working up a thirst.
And do you go frequently? l drink, l go, or l explode.
You know, let's find a 24-hour pharmacy.
You may have something other than acid reflux.
Uh-oh.
l don't know.
l thought that would be more satisfying.
l mean, resetting a nose is better than breaking one.
But the guy didn't even remember bullying me.
So, it doesn't really count as payback.
Okay.
First of all, really? You waited 20 years for payback.
Well, no.
l mean, l wasn't waiting.
But, you know, you only get so many opportunities in life to fix the past.
So, when one presents itself, don't you try to take it? Oh, Hank.
You never get to fix the past.
All you can do is get as far away from it as possible.
Oh.
About second-guessing you on fixing that fracture.
Oh, yeah.
No need to apologize.
l was going to ask where to send my bill.
l'll tell you where you can send it.
(LAUGHS) You know, you're cute when you think you're right.
So, are you going to kiss me, or are you going to wait 20 years? (WOMAN SlNGlNG) You're kidding me.
So, the good news is no acid reflux? l know that diabetes isn't welcome news.
But once you get your blood sugar under control, you will feel a lot better.
You are not your diagnosis.
My cousin has the Sugar D's.
l know the drill.
You need to get a proper glucose test after an overnight fast.
l don't know Manhattan facilities, but But Jill has connections.
Yes, l do! What are we talking about? The future.
Ooh, l'll drink to that.
To the future.
Whoo! EMlLY: You have impressive balance.
HANK: Well, l was highly motivated.
l think l owe you one.
Do you always keep score? (EMlLY CHUCKLES) Hey! Thanks for nothing, Doc.
Now my nose won't stop bleeding.
HANK: You were right to come back.
This bleeding concerns me.
Are you leaving? l think l probably should.
Uh, dinner later? l'm too busy for dinner.
Too busy to date, really.
Though l might have some time later for a little cardio.
HANK: What am l, a 24 Hour Fitness? Excuse me.
Oh.
Sorry.
Well, if you were, l might consider joining.
Though l don't like long-term contracts.
l'm sorry.
Do you two want to be alone? Oh.
Right.
What are you doing? A ring test.
The paper absorbs each drop as it spreads.
What are you looking for? That.
Wow.
Nice call.
Wow, what? You're not just bleeding.
You're leaking cerebrospinal fluid.
l'm what? My guess is the nose fracture broke your cribriform plate.
lt's a slow leak, but we should do a CT.
Unless you want a second opinion.
What he said.
Thank you.
Hank.
You've got to come.
Right now.
JlLL: All right, Aristotle.
Come on, buddy.
Rise and shine.
We owe you breakfast.
And our life savings, it seems.
Aristotle.
Aristotle.
He stopped for donuts.
Okay.
Aristotle? Help me get him on his back.
Aristotle, can you hear me? Aristotle.
JlLL: Yeah, l've got a male, mid-30s, in hypoglycemic coma.
No, the paramedics were 10 minutes out.
We couldn't wait.
Hey, are they ready with fluids? Standing by.
We're pulling in now.
(TlRES SCREECHlNG) NURSE: Okay.
Got it.
Back seat.
l'll get the front.
Okay.
Bring him out.
Middle-aged male, sugar binged after a 290 glucose, four hours ago.
Probably DKA, but need to rule out HHS.
All right, all right.
Calm down.
Just tell me what happened.
Okay.
l couldn't find him.
Mmm-hmm.
l couldn't find Karma.
l looked everywhere.
Okay.
And while you were looking, you were probably getting hammered.
No, l lt was a party.
l had a couple, okay? Okay.
And then l saw them.
Together.
(SCREAMlNG) l mean, l Maybe he's breathing.
Maybe he's just in a vegetative state.
l don't know.
Oh, my God.
Funny you should mention vegetables.
What's that? l don't think it's blood.
l think it's Bloody Mary.
Raj? Wake up, bud.
Hey.
Oh, man.
Who drinks Bloody Marys at night? Bad idea.
Never again.
Raj, did you fall? Can you remember? lt's foggy.
l recall Evan coming to tell me something.
(SCREAMlNG) Oh, my God.
RAJ: I think you'd had too much.
Not that l judge.
l also didn't know when to stop.
Mmm-hmm.
l must have passed out with a drink in my hand.
Okay.
Mystery solved.
l have a patient to see.
That doesn't explain Karma.
What happened to Karma? What happened to Karma? What happened to Karma, Raj? She went home? She went home.
Congrats, buddy.
HANK: Set.
(MACHlNE HUMMlNG) Okay.
Lie still, and we'll see what's going on.
Hey.
This is, uh, something strong for those of us with regrets about last night.
No regrets.
No regrets.
But, uh, thanks for the coffee.
EVAN: Yeah.
Good movie? l don't know, yet.
l'm going to find out.
Dr.
Peck? Come take a look at this.
Did you ever get poked in the eye, Ken? With two older brothers? l can't count the black eyes.
They used to bully me nonstop.
Mmm-hmm.
What is that? Wait.
This l think l can diagnose this one.
Dude, did you ever fight with your brothers over action figures? Yeah, that was one of our favorite pastimes.
Like, uh, knights or pirates? Yeah.
They almost poked my eye out with, uh, Blackbeard's little cutlass.
KEN: My favorite, and they lost it.
Yep.
They didn't lose it.
lt went through the corner of the eye and got lodged right there in your sinus cavity.
What? That can happen? Yeah, l've seen worse in the ER.
There's no way.
There's no freaking way.
l've had a sword in my eye for 20 years, and l didn't know it? Come on.
Not your eye, your sinus.
lt's a cavity full of air, surrounded by bone.
The sword has been sitting in that space, leaving the bone, nerve, and blood vessels undisturbed.
Oh, l'm plenty disturbed.
l've got a sword in my head.
(ALL LAUGH) We'll get this checked at the hospital, (CELL PHONE BEEPS) but l'd say we've found the cause of your sinus pain.
l'm going to kick their asses.
l am so going to kick their asses.
That tiny piece of plastic ate away at your cribriform plate over the years.
l bet you've been leaking spinal fluid since your sinus pain began.
So, what you're saying, Dr.
Lawson, is that if someone had broken Mr.
Keller's nose years ago, this would have been discovered, and he'd have been spared a lot of suffering.
Yeah.
Yeah.
l mean, yeah.
l just wanted one last hurrah.
Guess l owe you girls.
lt's mutual.
The meter's still running.
Ah, it's no problem.
Really? Yeah.
lf you don't have cash, l take Visa, MasterCard, Amex, Discover, Macy's, Costco.
Whatever, you know.
Because Aristotle got to make something on the deal.
Yeah, baby.
All right.
We'll check in on you later.
We have got to get out of these clothes.
Yeah.
Before anyone besides my entire ER staff sees us.
Oh.
(CAMERA CLlCKS) Mr.
Keller.
Oh, my gosh, your nose.
Yeah, that's the least of it.
Wow.
Hank.
You didn't.
Oh, it was Karma.
So, rough night? You first.
Um Well, um (PANTlNG) Evan.
The other doctor said you'd come here.
Other doctor? Divya.
Good morning.
ls something wrong? l hope not.
But l remembered, at the end of last night's festivities, l took a certain liberty.
You know, Raj, uh, l don't think now is the time.
Festivities? Liberty? Your colleagues threw me a Why are you dressed like that? Like what? Right.
Raj, um, what's on your mind, pal? lt was not my place, but l allowed Karma to borrow your minivan.
(EXHALES) Why? l was drunk.
You were drunk? No, l mean, why did you give her my van? She needed to leave.
There were no taxis.
You know what it's like here on the weekend.
ARlSTOTLE: No taxis? Maybe l should relocate my ass out to the Hamptons.
What do you think, Jillya? Who is that? Aristotle.
l thought l remembered Karma going through my pockets.
Karma? The woman they hired for me.
To dance.
She was a dancer.
She was the dancer.
Okay.
What happened last night? Well, we're still trying to get to the bottom of that.
But not before everyone has a shower and a nap.
Or maybe better we leave it at no questions asked.
HANK: Yeah.
Or that.
Oh? lt was a long night.
l'll call you later.
See you, man.
Bye, Raj.
Okay.
Yes.
Shower.
Nap.
Great idea.
We should go.
Bye.
JlLL: Take care, guys.
ls this the beginning, like Saya said? Let's just get you home.
l don't want separate lives.
l know.
Hank.
Thank you for everything.
Hey, l'm just glad we caught it.
l owe you an apology.
l, uh, l knew exactly who you were the minute l saw you.
l was, uh, embarrassed because of how l treated you back in the day.
l was a dick.
And you're a decent guy for not saying anything.
Don't worry about it.
The truth is l'd completely forgotten.
All right, let's go.
See you.
EVAN: l'm just saying.
l think he crossed the line.
Either he crossed the line, or she did, and he let her.
Assuming you're right, then, yeah.
Yeah, that does sound suspicious.
So, what would you do if there was video of what happened? (LAUGHS) What? There's no sense answering Because there is.
And l've got it.
What? Yeah.
Boris has a surveillance system.
He does? Where? ln rooms where he conducts business.
Oh.
Okay.
So, what do we do? Do we watch it? No.
No.
People should be allowed their privacy.
You mean their secrets.
Fine.
Their secrets.
So, what do you make of Emily? Uh, l don't know.
l'm still feeling her out.
You know.
What do you think? l think she's got your medical skills, my social ones, and she's hotter than either of us.
That spells danger to me.
All right.
Now you're being overly suspicious.
l'm not being l'm being protective.
Okay? This is HankMed we're talking about.
Excuse me? Hello.
Hi.
l'm just returning these to Evan.
Sure.
l can give these to him.
You must be Karma.
You must be Divya.
Well, l don't know if you're smart, or lucky, or both.
But congratulations.
He's quite the catch.
So, this is a sort of backup plan? Hey Oh, my God.
No, no, no, no, no! Give me that! Hey, hey! That's mine.
That's mine.
Have you no respect for privacy? Oh, said the man who has security footage of my fiancé.
l know.
Look.
All right.
Just give it up, Ev.
Come on.
That's Give Shh.
Easy.
I'm in the hotel business, and we're looking for fitness instructors at one of our local properties.
I could make a call, ifyou'd like.
Are you kidding? Oh, thank you.
I'm sorry.
I got glitter all over you.
Oh, that's all right.
(LAUGHS) I hope your bride knows how lucky she is.
Ah.
I'm the lucky one.
Most women like her would enjoy a life of leisure.
But Divya is brilliant and kind, and dedicated to helping others.
And so, I'm dedicated to never taking her for granted.
Well, it sounds like you don't want a dance.
(LAUGHS) Oh, no.
But please, don't tell Hank and Evan.
They're so nice.
I'd hate for them to think nothing obscene happened in here.
I promise.
Thank you.
Saya was wrong.
Hmm? (SEXY MUSlC PLAYlNG) What? What is this? Who is that? Oh, my God.
Oh, yeah.
(HANK LAUGHS) EVAN: l vaguely remember this.
Look.
That's l'm actually not that bad.
You're actually not that good.
No.
Don't quit your day job, there, Cinnamon.