Sexify (2021) s02e08 Episode Script

1
Did you remember to hydrate?
It's important for you to stay hydrated.
Yes, I remembered.
- Can you sense it?
- Mm-hmm.
Three liters?
Two.
- I can sense it.
- No, seriously, there's smoke!
I can keep going if you want.
Don't your knees hurt?
No, I've only been kneeling
for three minutes, maybe four.
Let's try going for seven.
Hmm. Okay.
You okay?
Um, yes, yes, I just need to pee.
Sorry, too much water!
- Water, where's water?
- Oh, fuck!
I drank it all, all right? Three liters!
And that's plan B.
Plan B means we're going to jail.
Let's focus on plan A.
Any questions?
Mm-hmm. Tell me why we're meeting here.
Well, I thought it would be nice.
The rooftop like we used to.
Us three and the roof.
Ninth floor, no elevator.
Burning mountains, burning forests
Neighborhoods, the heart is weeping ♪
You and me in the stairwell ♪
Trembling hands, sweaty temples ♪
I am drowning in your arms ♪
Today we disappear ♪
You fucking hottie
I will smash open a bottle ♪
And scratch a heart into your door ♪
In hotels or restaurants
I'll make a flower out of a napkin ♪
We can both cry into it ♪
Burning mountains, burning huts ♪
Babes?
Peanut, haul your ass
and get Babes some tea
or some other beverage.
No, you won't finish it tomorrow.
The launch is today!
I'm sorry, I tried, but
- Don't worry about it, Ala, you can go.
- Problems with the launch?
No, everything is going
surprisingly quickly and smoothly.
- It could be going even better.
- Yeah?
Yes.
I'm asking for a job.
That's interesting
as you know Monika was here recently
and it didn't seem like any of you
would want to work with me again.
I'm not Monika.
I am rational just like you are.
I can appreciate good decisions
when I see them.
Removing us from heading the company
was a good decision.
And it would be a good decision
to hire me because I'm really good.
As a programmer, not a boss.
Oh, such clarity on the day of the launch.
I'm guessing you'd like to attend.
No, I'm not interested in the launch,
but meanwhile,
I'd like to clean up some old code.
because I wrote some in a hurry.
You know,
maybe we really aren't that different.
Fine, I'll organize a place for you.
We'll call it your penance internship.
I'd like to work
from the office at Sexify.
Of course.
Guys know what to do.
Don't write. Don't call. She comes to you.
- That's it.
- Exactly.
My Young Lad, I'm coming to you
because there's a bond between us which is
incredible.
Three children.
That's us.
You're not too old to have children,
are you?
Mm.
No, not yet.
Fucking awesome!
But we can't be together.
- Come on, what are you talking about?
- What gives?
- I met someone.
- A TikToker!
No, not a TikToker.
And thank God
because I hate those fuckers.
Mm-hmm.
Now I really wanna be with you. Come on.
I need it. It's like this.
When you can't have something,
you gotta have it.
Babes,
please listen.
I really fucking respect it.
That you came here
to tell me yourself face-to-face.
Uh, sure. That's why I came here.
Actually, I came to ask a tiny favor.
A break-up favor.
Because of our shared past.
Break-up favor?
Yes, I'd like you to give a concert
at my party.
Two, three songs would do.
When is the party?
Today.
Hey, you guys
and girls,
listen up.
- Have you heard about Young Juvenile?
- Yeah, he's super.
Oh, well today he's giving a free concert
if you download an app
and answer a few questions.
Okay.
Thank you, girls. That will be perfect.
Okay, so what are you trying to do?
Get my company back.
By throwing a concert?
- Have you answered the questions?
- Mm-hmm.
That app knows more about my fetishes
than my three exes.
All right. So, what's this about?
Ciao, ragazzo.
Jabba?
- How'd you get in here?
- With the tech crew.
Uh-huh.
Luckily, I still had my costume
from the World of Computers.
Mario?
Luigi.
I was always different.
I always get nervous
before public speeches
because I always fuck it up.
That's great. That is the goal today.
To fuck something up.
Where's Natalia? The office?
And here I was about to call the police
to report you missing.
Sorry, I've had a lot going on lately.
Three days ago you wanted to scroll
to the end of Instagram,
so that's progress.
I sense a bombshell?
We're screwing over Małgorzata.
I want you to know about it
and that you can't stop me.
Everything is ready.
Natalia is already at the office
to apply our update to the app.
Wait, I think our office is the other way.
We're not going to Sexify.
Then where?
You'll see.
Today, we're going to take over the launch
and either Małgorzata will agree
to our vision of Sexify or be
NATALIA: I WON'T GET INTO THE OFFICE.
SHE LIED TO ME.
You're not the only one
dropping bombshells?
Tell me you still have access
to our office?
No. Why?
Fucking hell.
What's going on?
You're right. We're not that different.
We both have trust issues.
Ladies,
welcome Małgorzata Dębska of Sexify!
Dear ladies,
I was supposed to represent Sexify
at today's panel.
Instead, I have a surprise.
My place will be taken by the mastermind
behind this wonderful app.
In matters of sex, she knows everything.
Natalia Dumała.
DEEP INSIDE YOURSELF
Let's begin.
It's my pleasure to officially welcome you
to this panel, "Deep Inside Yourself."
Um
I've added a sentence
just at the very end.
"Technology has never been
this sexciting! Yeah!"
Super, you're doing well, Rafał.
Just drop that line.
Excuse me.
Are you making a speech?
Let's get you mic'd up.
Yeah.
Natalia can't access the office,
so she can't integrate the apps.
Game over.
Crap!
I can't handle the pressure.
I don't have the nerve for it.
Asia, will you tell us
what you're going to do next?
Your followers on social media consist of
hundreds of thousands of Polish women.
What should they expect to see
in the coming months?
Uh, in the next year,
I will have a second book coming out.
You've already written it?
But you've only just released
the last one.
Um, yes.
Well, so I just used
the method, um, manifestation,
which says to talk about your plans
as if they've already happened.
I wrote about it in my book.
The one I wrote,
not the one that I'm about to write.
The one I already wrote.
Fucking hell.
Let's say I know something
that could maybe help you win.
- Some of the office computers are here.
- Mm-hmm.
Would you be able to re-engineer the code
for the app integration?
Of course, I can do that.
If I had a week
Only Natalia knows the codes that well.
There's another option.
If Natalia gets close enough,
she can log in to the building's Wi-Fi,
and then we can give her access
to the company network.
Right.
But she'd have to get really close.
Apart from Natalia,
we would need an army of users.
Sexify was never the real goal.
That's why Małgorzata wanted
to release the app so quickly.
Yeah, it was a PR stunt.
"An app by women for informed women."
Gag me.
Yes, but mostly it's about the data.
Intimate details collected by Sexify
make it a precious commodity
on the consumer profiling market.
There are companies willing to spend
great amounts
for what your app can show them.
Is that legal?
That depends.
On what?
On whether you can afford a law firm
where the lawyers are paid
a grand an hour.
Okay, I have just learned
that rich and powerful are fucking us over
and getting away with it.
Sorry, Maks,
that's not what I call a shocker.
Don't go investing in palm oil.
The most important thing.
Małgorzata is selling most of the data
to the Vertigo Funding Group.
Taking into account
the predicted number that will use Sexify,
it could be a really big deal.
And do you know who is being shoved out
of the European market by Vertigo?
- Yep.
- Mm.
Sucks you're just telling me about it now.
Although,
you can still make up for it.
I'm asking you for the biggest favor
anyone can do for anyone else.
- And that is?
- Borrow your tiny car.
Come on. Come on.
Yes, Jabba?
Uh
- Excuse me!
- Yes?
Uh, sorry, I have to cancel the concert.
Not after everything's all set up.
And I'd like to rent your equipment.
Forget it.
I could get you the equipment.
Natalia, please tell us about getting
to know yourself in the context of sex.
PAULINA: GET TO THE WEB SUMMIT!
What was the biggest challenge
in creating an app about sex?
Maybe it was the coding of neural networks
with dynamic nodes.
Or coding parsers integrated with API data
because the problem is that
So, it was probably the nodes, I think.
Uh-huh. Vanessa, you also do not shy away
from the topic of sex in your workshops.
Mm. No.
This is the way
we can get out of our comfort zones.
In the third step of the workshop,
we ask ourselves some intimate questions,
like, "the weirdest place you've had sex."
By the cemetery in a candle kiosk.
It was just me and Piotr Oleś and Sons.
Not planned,
but sometimes things work out differently
than you plan it.
Please excuse me.
I must rescue my application.
Did I do that correctly?
Uh, yeah.
Do you think it could work?
Meaning what?
This illegal party of yours.
Oh, I don't know.
But I know I have to try.
SXFY: NEW CONCERT LOCATION
PAULINA: MACIEK, CHANGE OF PLANS.
WE'LL BE THERE:
Okay, they just changed the location.
- We're going to a secret party today.
- Another party?
Tell you what, if I can score three goals
off you, then you have to go.
Um, please, I'd like to get an entry pass.
- I'm sorry, it's not gonna happen.
- Why not?
I received specific instructions
not to let you pass.
Um, no,
you've mistaken me for someone else.
Natalia!
Natalia!
Excuse me.
That's two now.
Three. You are destined to party.
Hey, sorry. Do you know where Babes is?
Uh Babes?
Oh yeah, um Monika, yeah?
- Ah.
- Good question.
Good day to you, Monika. Your dad is out.
What do you mean?
Why doesn't he answer his phone?
Today is Tuesday.
He skis on Tuesdays.
No phone. It's a distraction.
Skiing on Tuesdays? For fuck's sake,
no wonder his business is failing.
Excuse me?
Nothing. Gossip.
All right, I've got access to the
screens in the main hall.
Fucking awesome.
Not that awesome.
Creep still hasn't let me in
to the network at Sexify.
Don't wait, Creep! Come on.
Okay. They're downstairs. It's our turn.
So excited to be here.
I can't wait for the launch.
It's gonna be great.
Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.
Jesus Christ! I'm sorry! Oh God.
Excuse my friend.
You just can't help yourself
around a girl with sandwiches, huh?
Let's do this shit.
This we So, I mean
We'll win anyway.
You'll see. I mean, uh you'll see, ma'am.
It'll be safer this way.
Wait!
Not again!
That's right, Marek!
Now gain some speed.
Come on, speed up. Don't be afraid.
That's right! Now left, Marek!
That's right! And now right, Marek!
Beautiful, you're a regular Alberto Tomba!
Monika? Hey!
I've got info about your competition.
And it will cost you.
Monika, I'll be in the office
the day after tomorrow.
We can talk then.
Dad, please cut the crap.
Business going wrong for the first time,
and instead of facing it,
here you are skiing in Warsaw.
Or riding your bike. Or going to Rhodes.
Own your shit before you're not able to.
Before you lose your company.
It's fine.
You had a moment of weakness
and that's totally okay.
And your daughter is here
to get you out of it.
Let's go save a company.
Maybe two.
- Come with me to the stage.
- You want me?
You will help me with the presentation.
Dear guests, I would like to extend to you
my very warmest welcome
to what will be the most important event
at this year's Warsaw Web Summit.
The launch of the wonderful,
most incredible application, Sexify.
Those of you who know me well
are certainly aware
that it is very important to me
to support the issues of women.
That's why,
as soon as I heard about our amazing app
- Hey!
- Hey!
What's going on?
Unfortunately, our friend
who's best at talking didn't get here,
so we will try.
But the gist of it is
that we are making the launch
of the real Sexify.
Um, everyone, don't listen to them.
It must be a joke.
Małgorzata, be quiet.
I mean Please
Please stay quiet.
Where's Young Juvenile?
Don't worry, Young Juvenile
will perform for you in just a moment.
Who's Young Juvenile?
- We're not talking to you.
- The thing is, we're not here alone.
There's a big crowd with us.
Who we invited here to show you all.
and particularly you,
we wanna show you, Małgorzata,
what we've been fighting for
all this time.
And I guess what you also wanted.
Everyone here has installed the app
as their entry ticket
to get into this party.
And your answers
that you entered into the app
will allow our algorithm
to find you a sexual soulmate partner.
Sexual soulmate partner?
Wording is still in development.
And the application works.
It's amazing.
It doesn't judge you,
your appearance or your character.
It doesn't encourage you to be dishonest
or to show off.
It allows you to be truthful with yourself
about who you are
and then find someone who's alike.
And you can kill it, Małgorzata.
First, we need to show it to the world.
Rafał, give me the access.
But Rafał's not here,
so maybe let's end this show
And yet someone gave us access.
Launch the application!
DOWNLOADING DATA
HI, IT'S ME
Małgorzata, you screwed us over,
and we screwed you over. We're even.
Today we played hardball.
But if you can believe in this project,
we we could create a better world.
Shall we do it together?
I do not negotiate with terrorists.
My answer is "Absolutely, no."
- Plan B.
- You sure?
Like never before.
No?
That's fine.
What happened?
What did they do to the app?
I think they deleted it.
And you let them do it.
- You are
- A renegade.
No, you're fired.
Those things are not mutually exclusive.
We have to call Monika.
What's up, party animals? Let me hear you.
Make some noise!
It's on the pedestal
It's on the pedestal! ♪
Horse! ♪
It's on the pedestal
It's on the pedestal! ♪
Horse! ♪
It's on the pedestal
It's on the pedestal! ♪
Horse! ♪
It's on the pedestal ♪
- Horse! ♪
- It's on the pedestal ♪
- Horse! ♪
- It's on the pedestal ♪
- Horse! ♪
- It's on the pedestal! ♪
The skier has landed.
- Is that a code?
- Yes and no.
Mom doesn't make me sandwiches
Mature man, I take it and I pay ♪
I forge my own destiny
I don't engage in horseplay ♪
For 20 years I haven't watched porn
'Cause I don't know these people ♪
Sitting in the lounge
Drinking moonshine ♪
Although I've grown out of parties ♪
What's new for you ♪
Is vintage for me ♪
Questions like rain from a drainpipe
Eyes clouded, a straight shooter ♪
I'm the first, who was second
Don't neigh, hon, you can talk ♪
- She asks ♪
- Do you smoke? ♪
Darling,
The horse is Tabaluga's friend ♪
Horse! ♪
What were you thinking?
That you're at fucking school?
You'll get a slap on the wrist
and that's all?
I will bury you in debt.
You'd better not have children
because they'll have to pay off
your incredible fucking stunt.
But first, I promise,
you'll go to prison for it.
Hi.
This is my business partner, Marek.
And these are his lawyers.
Małgosia!
Małgosia, I really do respect
sporting competition.
As you can see from this image
and my energy, right?
Remember when I won
the business half-marathon?
In Baden-Baden.
Or Lausanne was it?
- In Baden-Baden.
- In Baden. Yeah.
It was fair.
Małgosia.
Fair competition
according to the Olympic spirit.
Without any foul play.
I can see the guys at Vertigo
and you are different.
I mean, you tried to trick me.
And to get your way,
you treated those nice girls so badly.
Girls who only ever wanted
to help their peers.
With sex.
Young people now have problem, you know?
There's a paper saying testosterone levels
are falling drastically in young men.
Interesting article.
Antek, send it to Małgosia.
Oh, I will.
And now, let's talk business.
Let me tell you
my proposal, Małgosia.
First of all, you'll drop those dumb ideas
about selling data.
And second,
you won't reactivate the app, Sexify.
May it rest in peace.
In exchange, my people and I
will forget about the whole thing.
What do you think?
I have my own lawyers, Marek.
Mm.
Then bring them in here.
Let them wrestle.
I have plenty of money
for some good lawyers.
You have some money for some good lawyers.
You've got friends and connections
in the press,
and I also have friends and connections
in the press.
You know people at ministries,
and I know people,
but we're really talking
about this, Gocha.
Honest rivalry
and within our balance of power,
it is the one who is in the right
that will always prevail.
Un-fucking-fortunately for you.
Gosia, now I'm not saying
that selling very sensitive data
from an app aimed at teenagers
to a shady corporation
financed by an Eastern dictator
cannot be kept a secret.
But it won't be
when you try to mess with someone
who's in your own league.
And who did you mess with?
Kasia?
Mr. Nowicki.
So, what it'll be?
Are we going to war?
All right, let's do it your way.
Excellent.
Down with post-truth!
Am I right?
But that's not all.
This stunt that my associate
and her partners did today.
Let's forget about it. Huh?
Why should we intimidate each other
with debts and damages?
One day, this will all make us smile.
And how's your Robert?
Did he get his hip operation?
Fuck you, Marek.
Geez. All right.
Okay.
Well, we didn't make millions.
Although we did rescue millions
from Sexiguy Men by Rafał and Grześ.
Yeah, but in the end,
Małgorzata was right that is a game
for celebrities who take private jets
wherever they travel,
not subways.
Hey, we did save my father,
just like he saved us.
That's a fair deal.
Go, ladybugs.
So, now what, ladybugs?
From what I've learned, things get
a lot clearer at an after-party.
You did a fucking awesome job. Really.
I now declare that you're in charge.
The now former Sexify
deserves to have a nice farewell.
Count me out.
I'm going to get some sleep finally.
And ladies, thank you.
For everything.
And I love you.
Wow.
It's a good strategy
not to say things like that
because when you say them,
it makes a fucking impact.
I'm going.
Go.
In front of me
Are all the creatures I like ♪
The small ones
Happy ones and the big ones ♪
With panache, style and chill ♪
All the kids climbing up ♪
I'm an animalist, you're my canvas ♪
I'm the speaker, you're my muse ♪
I make paintings,
Wrap my heart in a rolling paper ♪
The young noble
The fire lights tenderly ♪
Listen up to the young stallion
Check out his tunes, his moves ♪
He's in your head
Pull off your push-up ♪
And move it, move it ♪
It's the young stallion
Listen up ♪
Check out his tunes, his moves
He's in your head ♪
Pull off your push-up
And move it, move it ♪
The young stallion ♪
I ride around with this tune ♪
The meter shows zero
Then two hundred ♪
Foot, gas, foot, gas, SpaceX ♪
Foot, gas, foot, gas, racer ♪
The young noble arrives
In the foreground ♪
Things will get crazy
So you better run ♪
We're doing shots, I am Top Gun
Fly away with you, Pac-man will get us ♪
- And now admire this noble ♪
- Oh yeah ♪
And now admire this noble
And now admire this noble ♪
And now admire this noble ♪
Listen up to the young stallion
Check out his tunes, his moves ♪
He's in your head
Pull off your push-up ♪
After today,
I have only one question to have.
- Yeah?
- Where is my Matiz?
I'm afraid it's been towed.
But don't worry, I'll buy us a new one.
I still have a fifty in my wallet.
I'm not sure if they'll have any change.
Wait, you said "us"?
Yes.
Thank you for what you did today.
For me.
But I didn't do it for you.
No?
I did it for myself.
You taught me to break windows and
damn it, I liked it.
I've become a renegade.
Wait. And what are you
trying to say about us?
So, hey, Monika.
Our sex incredible.
It really is in my top seven, no doubt.
But
we're not a good match.
You know it, I know it.
It's not like the first guy
you see as a real person
has to become your partner.
I know that our gender has a bad rep, but
if you start giving us a chance,
it might just pay off.
I can't believe it. The donkey from Shrek
just blew off the dragon.
What is that? I didn't see it.
Young stallion! ♪
Listen up to the young stallion
Check out his tunes, his moves ♪
He's in your head ♪
Pull off your push-up
And move it, move it ♪
The young stallion
Listen up ♪
Check out his tunes, his moves
He's in your head ♪
Pull off your push-up
And move it, move it ♪
The young stallion! ♪
The young stallion! ♪
The young stallion! ♪
The young stallion! ♪
The young stallion! ♪
Ju-ve-nile!
POLICE
One day, they will remember us.
Hey.
I thought I should
give you your keys back.
Thanks.
I finally managed to get to your launch.
Oh. You've seen one launch,
you've seen them all.
Always a fail.
But this one went a little better, yeah?
That's right.
Nobody can take that away.
Mm. That's cool.
That our failures are becoming
more and more spectacular?
No.
That you can start over.
Mistakes are a good teacher.
You wanna watch something?
What would you like to watch?
TV.
There's never anything on TV.
That's good.
and open tunnels dug in the tuff
by the Etruscans in the Bronze Age.
Etruscans. What a remarkable civilization.
I know nothing about the Etruscans.
- botany, astronomy
- Too bad.
it would take a long time
to list fields of science in which
I don't know anything
About the Etruscans ♪
I don't know anything
About the Etruscans ♪
I don't know anything
About the Etruscans ♪
I don't know anything
About the Etruscans ♪
I don't know anything
About the Etruscans ♪
I don't know anything
About the Etruscans ♪
I don't know anything
About the Etruscans ♪
I don't know anything
About the Etruscans ♪
I don't know anything
About the Etruscans ♪
I don't know anything
About the Etruscans ♪
I don't know anything
About the Etruscans ♪
I don't know anything
About the Etruscans ♪
You're a genius.
I'm going to the store.
Want anything?
Coffee.
NEW PROJEC
I don't know anything
About the Etruscans ♪