Sick Note (2017) s02e08 Episode Script

1 What's your game? Ridiculous! Snuffles, come on! Snuffles, come on! Come on, Snuffles.
Mummy needs to pack for the weekend away with Daddy.
Fuck! DR.
GLENNIS: NEARLY HERE? Good.
Right.
Daniel is on his way.
What's all the plastic sheeting for? I take it you've never watched Dexter? Annette doesn't like me watching cartoons.
No, no, Dexter's not a cartoon.
Huh.
What's, er, what's Dexter about? Dexter is about a criminal pathologist - who's also a serial killer.
- Oh, sounds fun.
A kind of poacher-turned-gamekeeper thing.
And he always laid down plastic sheeting, because of all the blood from the victims.
- Ah! Garfield! - What? Garfield! That's what I was thinking about.
The cartoon about the lasagna-loving cat.
Right.
Er Sorry, what was I saying? - Plastic sheeting.
- Oh, yes.
Well, the sheeting will just stop all your blood from getting everywhere.
Excuse me.
Yes.
I can assure you, sir, there'll be no need to spill my blood upon your beautiful katana.
Daniel shall be here in two twitches of an owl's feather.
Was that ever in fashion? Shh! For God's sake, Snuffles, be quiet! Snuffles, stop it! Snuffles! Hello? Hello? Is someone in there? See, Snuffles? There's no one there.
I can't for the life of me imagine where he's got to.
Any last words, Dr.
Glennis? Please don't kill me? Oh, come on.
Something for people to remember you by.
Let's have a thinkingtons.
Er Nah, my my mind's gone blank.
All I can think about is, "Please don't kill me.
" Okay.
Your hour is up.
Let me just try him one more time, please! Enough! One moment.
You might want to get that.
Sorry, got stuck in traff Fuck! Daniel, so glad you made it.
Did you find the cash all right? Could've sworn I left it there.
Is this some kind of joke? What the fuck's going on? Bloody hell! I didn't put the cash in this bag.
I left the money in a fucking carrier bag.
I put it all in that case! I dunno how that got in there.
Oh, shit, I know what's happened! I must've put the case with the cash in it down and picked this one up.
There must be two cases! The money must still be at your house.
You are like the fucking billy goat that took the cursed milk - And left the magic fucking apples! - What? No wonder Becca wanted to fuck your best friend! - Becca wanted to fuck me too! - Dr.
Glennis! Stop talking! Look we can get the money back, okay? I'll go now.
I'll be quick.
Yes.
Perhaps we can swing by my office and pick up the real drugs.
I am a respectable drug dealer.
I do not mess about.
That ship has very much sailed, my friends.
I have to speak to Henchy.
Tell her it's urgent.
She's on Operation Thunderbolt.
I'm on an active investigation and I need backup now.
Aren't you supposed to be at your desk? Believe me, when the Chief finds out what I'm about to uncover, she'll be pinning awards on me, not chaining me to a ruddy desk! Please.
We're good people! Good people? You're faking cancer! You're worse than me.
- What? You told him? - Yes.
There's a poster with your face on it by the bus stop, "Daniel's got cancer, but we're looking after him.
" - For shame! - But I didn't wanna be on a poster! I didn't wanna fake cancer! I know it's wrong, okay? It's the worst thing anyone can do, but do I really deserve to Die? Yes.
You keep telling me that, but in my game, you very much need to send out a signal under these circumstances.
Who the fuck's that? There's a civilian gone inside.
Over.
- We're gonna have to stand down.
- Her Nibs won't be pleased.
Proceed with Operation Thunderbolt as planned.
A civilian buying drugs is not a civilian.
They are a criminal.
You hear me? Over.
- A woman? - Hi.
What do you want? I'd like to buy some drugs.
- So, what was your plan, Officer Hayward? - I didn't have one.
So Who are you? Are you a pig? No, sir.
Mmm, yes you are.
You're an undercover pig.
I'm not, I swear.
I just want to get high on some drugs.
I'm jonesing.
Look, do you know what a speedball is? That's cocaine and heroin.
Correct.
Well done.
Go and get her one.
Mmm, can't wait.
I have an idea.
You know, this chap here's a doctor.
Why don't you give it to her? Me? Sorry about this.
Do it or I'll do you.
Here goes.
Argh! - Police! Open up! - Fuck! My shitting arm! Go! The bathroom, quick! - Armed police! - Armed police! Get on the floor! Get on the floor now! - Don't struggle! - Good work, lads.
- Ma'am, it's me.
Officer Hayward.
- Chris? - What, you know this prick, ma'am? - Yes, he's one of us.
- Just about.
- What did I say? Even if we could get through there, there's 20-odd police outside.
Chris, are you a drug addict? No, I know it doesn't look great, but I've got them.
- Got who? - The doctor and his cancer patient.
- They're drug dealers.
- Not this again, Chris! I thought you'd put this all behind you.
I can finally prove to you that I was right.
Mmm! Ah! We could say that we're plumbers, and if anyone asks, we're here to fix a broken toilet.
That'll be believable, what with all the plumbing equipment we've got.
- I'm sorry, I'm gonna have to arrest you.
- No! Whoa, whoa, whoa! Sorry to do this, ma'am.
It's the only way.
Okay.
The two people who will prove that I was right all along are hiding in this bathroom.
- All right.
- Open the door, ma'am.
It's locked.
Think you can avoid justice with a flimsy bathroom door lock? - Get someone to knock it down, ma'am.
- Errol, knock it down.
What? No fucking way! It's a Christmas fucking miracle.
- Go, quick! - There's a bazooka! That's it.
Ah! We must be next door.
Thank you! Daniel Glass and Dr.
Iain Glennis, I am arresting Oh, shit! Nasty nick there.
Right.
- When was the last time you changed that? - Oh, it's fine.
What? Where are they? All right.
Now we're blood brothers.
Now! We have to go.
They might find the secret door.
- Please act normal.
- Yes, I am doing! You're not.
You're staring at the ground! Look at my willy.
Dry as a bone.
Yes! We nearly made it.
Why are your hands in the air? ‘Cause we're we're under arrest.
Yeah, and I arrest you on suspicion of getting lost while participating in a charity run.
What? And Dad, you should be taking it easy after your broken leg.
- Dad.
- Yeah.
Yeah, he insisted on coming to support me.
Ah, well, look, I know it's against the rules, but jump in and I'll take you to the finish line.
I won't tell if you don't.
Shh! I've been round the whole course and I can't find Daniel.
Yeah, I've not seen him either.
Although, to be honest, I don't think he could keep up.
Shaved three seconds off my personal best.
Two hours, 23 minutes, 13 seconds.
Yeah, it's a shame your wife wasn't here to see it, isn't it? Hi, guys.
Yay! You finished.
Yes, he finished about 30 minutes ago.
I just needed to check his vitals.
And is he okay? Oh, yes, yes, he's fit as a fisherman.
- Apart from the - Apart from the cancer, yes.
- Yes.
- So, what was your time? Er, two hours, ten minutes and - 43 seconds? - 43.
Oh, f Fast.
Really fast.
It's the fastest time this year by a man who has cancer.
I mean, you don't even look like you broke a sweat.
You should've seen me 30 minutes ago.
I was drenched, wasn't I? Yes, yes.
Had trouble listening to his chest.
The stethoscope kept sliding off.
He stank as well.
Well, good job, Daniel.
Especially for someone with your condition.
Yeah.
- Well, I guess the bracelets are a hit.
- Yeah.
They're a real life-saver.
Can't believe we weren't arrested.
Yes, I thought our gooses were well and truly cooked.
- Geese.
- Yes.
It's almost over.
All of it.
I can't wait to have a big, long sleep.
If you'll excuse me, I'm off to spend a romantic weekend with my beautiful wife Annette.
Give me.
Peace be with you.
Looks like I'm gonna stay here a little longer.
It's a fucking mess.
Question.
When we rescued the gorillas from the lab, they were going to give them cancer, right? Any idea how they do that? Oh, really? Good to know.
So where shall we get this drink, then? Well, there's a great pub near mine.
Jack the Ripper mutilated one of his prostitutes outside it.
Oh, what happened to your hand? Fucking hell! I NEED TO SEE YOU URGENTLY.
BECCA WAS FUCKING ASH.
What's up? I'm sorry, Linda.
I've got to go.
Again? - Daniel! - It's my dad.
He's had a fall.
He broke his leg recently.
Can't be helped.
You should go to him.
Sorry, Linda.
Cheeringtons! - Mmm.
- Mmm.
Enjoying your champagne wine? Delicious.
Especially now I know we're fully paid-up members.
But really, Iain, £18,000 in a wardrobe? I wasn't going to risk keeping it in the bank, not after the whole British exit thing.
Hmm.
Why don't you tell me what's been going on? Is it anything to do with that odd Shankowic person we met here? Annette! No.
No! No.
No.
Yes.
I, er I sold him some drugs from the clinic.
He is a drug dealer.
And now I am too.
But I did it for you.
I did it for us.
You have to believe me, Annette.
I'm not a bad man.
Just Oh, please don't leave me.
Please don't leave me.
You knew about it? Not for definite, but I suspected.
Well, why didn't you say anything to me? Well, you know, there was so much going on.
I thought the last thing we all needed was another bombshell.
I feel so stupid.
Don't.
I cried with her at Ash's wake.
She consoled me.
And then she tried to get off with me.
What? Jesus! God, I really need to move out.
She must know something about his death.
She must! Oh, no, come on.
She may have cheated on both of us, but she's not a murderer.
And you.
All while you were ill.
Imagine how she'd feel if she found out if we were having an affair! Yeah, well, do you know what, I don't think she'd be that bothered.
You're so good.
Kind.
And honest.
Yeah.
I wish I'd got together with you instead of Ash.
Oh, no, you don't.
Let's have a drink.
JD and Coke? Do you know what, I'm actually a bit tired.
Come on! Just one.
- Er, no, I'm - Yeah.
- No.
- Just one.
Sorry, Daniel, we're, um, out Oh! Iain, fuck me! Oh, yes! Choke me, Annette, choke me! I'm arriving! You scared the shit out of me! I didn't want to wake Benny up, but we've got to talk.
- Oh, yeah.
- Can I come in? No, and I'll tell you why.
You I was having an affair with Ash.
I'm sorry, but it's just what happened.
We'd broken it off.
He'd come over to talk and we said we were gonna stop.
I swear.
- You fucking slag! You - Shh.
I think I think Daniel killed him.
Killed Ash? I think Daniel got home, found Ash there.
They had a fight and he pushed him out the window.
Then Daniel moved the body and made it look like a hit and run.
- What? - And his weird friend Will Yeah? I think Daniel killed him too.
No.
I don't believe it.
Not Daniel.
A killer?