Sliders s02e08 Episode Script

We hit this one world, right? Full of snakes and bats.
This crazy shaman, he was after Q-Ball's brain.
When he said he wanted to take Q- Ball's brain, how did that make you feel? How did I feel? Yeah.
I guess I felt that I was glad it wasn't my brain he was after.
How would you feel? My feelings are not at issue here, Mr.
Brown.
Now, you said earlier that you- that you were at the end of your rope, yes? Yeah.
No kidding, Doc, my boat's been rocked one too many times.
That's why I'm hoping you could help me sort through this thing.
Yes, I can see why- the strain of adjusting to all these different planets.
Yeah, but it's the same planet every time, just different dimensions.
Why don't you start at the beginning? What precipitated this crisis? Okay, I guess it all started about a couple of weeks ago.
Oh! Oh! Are you okay? Yeah, I think so.
Incoming! Ow! Whoa! All right, that does it.
From now on, Mr.
Brown, you will go into the vortex before me.
What, and have you land and crush me? Forget that.
At least it looks peaceful enough.
Wait a minute.
This is Bernie Massey's old Pontiac.
He got rear-ended just before we left.
And that's Mrs.
Randall's place.
What are you saying? Your house, yes? May I remind you- we've all been fooled before.
Why are you always so negative? Hope for everything, Miss Wells, expect nothing.
So what do you think, Q-Ball? I think we're about to find out.
Cross your fingers.
It squeaked.
Thank you! Mom.
Oh, my God.
I knew you'd slide on a weekend.
And that was it.
After 18 months of wandering, we were finally home.
Thank you! What if you could travel to parallel worlds? The same year, the same Earth, only different dimensions? A world where the Russians rule America? Or where your dreams of being a superstar came true? Or where San Francisco was a maximum security prison? My friends and I found the gateway.
Now the problem is finding a way back home.
SLIDERS 2x08 "POST TRAUMATIC SLIDE SINDROME" Here we go! Yes! Mrs.
Mallory.
Thank you.
Quinn.
Professor, thank you.
All right! My dear Rembrandt.
And one for Wade.
I know.
Isn't it unbelievable? I'm going to tell you the whole story when I get home, I promise.
I know.
I love you, too.
- Give me back to Mom.
- Oh, Mom, Mom, Mom, you should have seen this guy.
On one world he introduced a strain of antibiotics and single-handedly stopped the plague.
What about that world where he brought down the asteroid with the A-bomb? - Oh! - Huh? The atom bomb? All I did was jury-rig the detonator.
The fissionable material was already there.
Oh my, that's- remarkable.
Nothing, really.
How'd they take it? Everyone was basically in a state of shock.
My sister just screamed, "Oh, my God" for 10 minutes.
So, guys, how about a toast, huh? - Professor, go ahead.
- No, no, you're the man of the house.
Well, seems to me "To friendship.
" To friendship.
And to home.
- And to home.
- To home.
What are you doing down here, Professor? Just thinking.
So, this is where it all started, huh? The real basement.
I always imagined it to be much bigger.
What are you thinking about, Professor? You know, we have 95% of what may be the greatest invention that the world has ever seen.
What we lack is the ability to control the beast and how we use it safely.
Oh, you guys will get it.
Well, you're not going to like this, but till we do get that 5%, I suggest we keep quiet about our experiences.
You're kidding me, right? Do you realize how this could boost my career? Now is not the time to talk about free publicity, Mr.
Brown.
It's always time to talk about free publicity, Professor.
What's wrong with you? What am I supposed to tell people? Nobody's seen me for 18 months.
We'll just swear our families to secrecy, that's all.
Wade will tell people we were backpacking through Europe or something.
The Professor can say that he was on sabbatical and you two have got your bases covered, but who's going to believe that I've been touring in obscurity the last year and a half? That shouldn't be difficult, given the state of your career when we left.
Stick to our stories and we'll be fine, as long as people close to us know the truth and how important it is to keep this secret.
So we're talking a month or so, right? As soon as Quinn and I are ready, we're going to have the biggest press conference the world's ever seen.
Now you're talking my language.
See you later, big guy.
Get some rest, Mr.
Mallory.
We start work on Monday.
All the things we've done, the things we've seen, it's all because of you.
Thank you.
I prayed every day, Quinn.
I never gave up hope.
I guess randomly traveling through an interdimensional vortex has a way of making you appreciate what's important in life.
For the Professor, it was returning to the hallowed halls of the university where he taught quantum physics- the place where he first met Quinn.
Miss VonBaeck.
Professor Arturo? Miss VonBaeck, how very good to see you again.
You too, Professor.
Are you all right? I'm just surprised to see you here, that's all.
Yes.
Yes, well life is full of surprises, isn't it? Anyway, I'm back! Eager and ready to resume my course load.
Provided, of course, the dean hasn't replaced me.
Why would he have done that? "Why," indeed.
Excellent, excellent, excellent.
Ah, my dear Miss VonBaeck, I've been away for a long time, I know, but bear with me.
All shall be revealed in due course.
Now you must excuse me.
- There he is.
- Thanks.
Artie.
Huh-uh, I know you recognize me.
It's "The Crying Man.
" I used to know a "Crying Man"- he died.
Oh come on, Artie, don't be like that.
I know you're angry.
I missed some dates, but I have a perfectly good explanation for that.
Yeah? Like what? I've been touring Asia.
What are we talking here, Outer Mongolia? A lot of good R&B clubs there, are there? Besides, if you've been touring, where's my 10 %? Keep it down, will you? If my other clients hear about that missing 2 %, they're all going to want it.
I've got a secret, Artie.
How's your pacemaker? Ticking away.
Why? I'm sitting on something.
Once it goes public, it's going to be the biggest thing to happen to popular music in this century- hell, maybe since the beginning of time.
Let me tell you all about it.
But you've got to swear not to tell a soul.
Hello? Quick, turn on the TV.
Channel 11.
All right, hold on.
Using calculations based on my extension of the Einstein-Rosen- Podolsky Bridge theory, I'm able to travel- I prefer to use the word "slide"- between different Earths in alternate parallel universes.
His theory? He's taking credit for what you did! pretty high-caliber scientists out there calling you a crackpot.
Well, skepticism is natural in the face of such a remarkable achievement.
But take a look at this remarkable arrowhead.
It's a 500-year-old artifact He's blowing our entire cover.
space-age titanium alloy.
It comes from an Earth where America was never colonized by the Europeans.
Oh, I don't believe this! tested and examined at this moment, which will prove conclusively that their origin is from a world whose geology is substantially different to our own.
You've got to call, Quinn.
You can't let him get away with this.
Quinn? Quinn? Our guest today is Professor Maximilian Arturo, some are calling the "Father of interdimensional travel.
" Hello? We'll be right back.
What am I supposed to do? Call him a liar in front of the entire world? Why not? You deserve credit for what you did.
She's right, Q-Ball.
I don't care about the credit, we promised each other to keep this whole thing quiet.
Well, I don't agree with the way he did it, but it certainly put a jolt into "The Crying Man's" career.
My agent's fielding offers from three major record labels.
Your agent? Well, once a secret is out, it's out, Q-Ball.
Come on, man, it's not like I'm the only one.
"Newsweek" is sort of serializing my diary.
What was I supposed to do, Quinn? It's over a million dollars.
The secret's out.
You've got to tell the world what really happened.
Where are you going? I'm calling the Professor.
This is out of control.
Hello? Yeah, it's Quinn Mallory.
Let me talk to Professor Arturo.
I'm sorry, Mr.
Mallory, Professor Arturo's not in the office.
Thank you.
Maybe if we go to the press on Quinn's behalf the Professor will back down.
Arturo's acting like we should be grateful he mentioned the rest of us at all.
Guys, we're not home.
What? Look at the headline.
"Super Bowl XIX"? So what? "'Niners Clock Jets in Super Bowl XIX"? Don't you get it? On our world, the 'Niners played the Dolphins.
I don't really follow football.
Trust me, guys.
Some things I know like the back of my hand.
This isn't our Earth.
I mean, what were we supposed to say? Jets, Dolphins- it was over 10 years ago.
Did you voice your suspicion? You're damn right, I did.
We both did.
But he just kept going on and on- "It's not our world.
It's not our world.
" All because of that one little thing.
Mom? Mom? Mom, is that you? Oh! Hey! Get back here! Hello.
Hi.
These have to be on a plane by 3:00, or we'll miss the weekend read.
Aren't you the messenger? Sorry.
No, I'm sorry, I just assumed- - Is Wade around? - Miss Wells is on a conference call.
Tell her Quinn Mallory's here and it's important.
Oh, my God.
Hold on.
I am not going to sell out the integrity of my story because some Hollywood starlet might be interested in optioning it.
I'll be with you in a minute.
David, just make the call, okay? Don't forget we've got that conference call with Random House at 3:00.
Okay, thanks.
All these negotiations and everything- it's a madhouse.
What's up? - The timer's been stolen.
- What? The police came over this morning, dusting for fingerprints.
On top of which, I've got reporters calling all day - the phone hasn't stopped.
- Well, did you make a statement? - No.
If you don't come forward, the Professor's gonna think he can get away with this.
Let him.
Look at this.
My ninth grade homeroom.
Really? Which one's you? Forget that.
This kid- this kid right here.
Tom Canfield.
He wore braces on our world, Wade.
We used to call him "Railroad Tracks.
" Don't you see? First, Super Bowl XIX and now this? Maybe you're just remembering it wrong.
Look, it just doesn't make any sense, Quinn.
My friends, my family, everything's in place here.
This can't be anywhere else but our Earth.
It can if our doubles slid from here.
This is a virtually identical world, Wade.
Our doubles could have slid when we did, 18 months ago.
Oh.
Okay, so now we've slid in and taken their place and everything is exactly the same except for a football game and some kid you think you remember wearing braces? Quinn, do you hear yourself? I'm really starting to worry about you.
You don't hear a word I'm saying, do you? Yes, I do.
You're not listening to me.
We're home, Quinn.
It's over.
Excuse me.
Miss Wells? Your attorney's office, line two.
We never checked the timer.
The window could have already come and gone.
If I can't convince you and find the timer, we're going to spend the rest of our lives here.
He says it's important.
Let me get this, okay? Just wait, please? Quinn! I realize this theory is difficult for the layman to grasp.
Seen from our normal perspective, the universe appears to be singular.
But when seen from the perspective of the Einstein-Rosen- Podolsky bridge- Miss VonBaeck? it is suddenly possible to see, that universes can be layered one on top of another.
Now my invention enables explorers to slide through these layers traveling from universe to universe, breaking through the boundaries that separate one dimension from another.
The tricky part, of course, is to control where you slide and- And- and- and when to return.
And on that note, I think we'll just take a short intermission.
- Fascinating.
- Extraordinary.
I've been waiting years and years for this.
I need to talk to you.
How the devil did you get in here without a press pass? You're not that important yet, Professor.
I told them I was on the school paper.
So, what are your intentions, my boy, hmm? Discredit me and hog all the limelight for yourself? Take all the credit you want, Professor.
It doesn't change the fact that we're not home.
Huh? You heard me.
It's close- almost a carbon copy- but it's not our Earth.
Look, I dug through my old baseball card collection and found this.
There's no asterisk next to Roger Maris' home run record.
So? Listen to me- the 'Niners beat the Dolphins in Super Bowl XIX.
Mr.
Mallory, I have no idea where this conversation is going.
You are obviously having difficulty adjusting to the fact that you're finally home.
But right now, I'm in the middle of a press conference.
Excuse me.
Ladies and gentlemen, if I can focus your attention once again, on the model, You will see, that this "Whoo, whoo, whoo" "And a tear falling from my other eye" "Cry like a man" "Brothers, somebody hand me a handkerchief" "Please" "Cry like a man.
" Yeah! Maybe we need to punch that lead track up.
I need to hear the vibrato in that section where I'm trying to hold back the tears.
Remmy, there's a woman here to see you.
No groupies there, Artie.
I'm trying to concentrate.
Take five, guys.
It's okay.
I hope I'm not disturbing you.
No, no, not at all.
Actually, it's costing us about a grand and a half an hour here.
What's up? Did Quinn call you? Yeah, last night.
Police have any idea who broke into his house? No.
I'm really worried about him, Rembrandt.
I think he's really going off the deep end.
He's still saying we're not home, huh? Yeah.
I don't know what to do.
He's in this incredible state of denial.
This is bad.
I love the guy, Wade, you know that.
everything that's good, everything happening for us, I owe it to him.
Well, it might help if you talked to him about it.
Remmy, this is coming out of my pocket.
Just one second.
Is he coming to the museum opening tomorrow? I don't think so.
Okay, I'll call him see if I can get him down there.
Straighten out this whole home thing, huh? Okay.
Thank you.
Um-hmm.
Thanks.
Our best friend was going over the edge, the rest of the world was opening up to us- giving up all of her treasures.
And how did you feel about that? I really felt bad for the guy.
Why couldn't he just lean back and enjoy the ride like the rest of us? Over here! - Excuse me.
- Get a shot of that.
Do you believe this? Mr.
Brown- Mr.
Brown! Over here, Mr.
Brown.
Is "Crying Man" coming back? Can you tell us what it felt like- There you are.
Ah, splendid.
These flashbulbs are starting to give me a headache.
Oh, all right.
Ladies and gentlemen, no more photographs, please.
Well, quite a gala, isn't it? Is Mr.
Mallory going to come? I don't think he's going to make it, Professor.
Oh, dear.
What a shame.
There are so few days like this in one's life and plenty of glory to go around.
What did you expect him to do, Professor? You're taking credit for his discovery.
Is that what he told you? Miss Wells, I laid the theoretical groundwork for sliding.
Mr.
Mallory made certain emendations, it's true, but all of which I would have done by myself.
Maximilian, they're about to start the unveiling.
All right, well more of this anon.
And now, ladies and gentlemen, we proudly present "The Father of Interdimensional Travel"- Maximilian Arturo.
I don't believe this.
Who does that egomaniac think he's fooling? We got to stop this.
I've got people from "Rolling Stone" here.
Rembrandt, look.
Arturo must have stolen it.
I'm going to call Quinn.
Yeah, I know.
I wanted to kill him.
I can't believe he could do that to you.
Quinn, Quinn, listen to me.
You can't just break in and steal a museum exhibit.
There's security all over the place.
Why don't you let me help you find a lawyer? Quinn, we are not going through this again.
We're home.
Look, I'm just telling you where the timer is, okay? Call me later.
Oh, my God.
The Golden Gate Bridge- it's blue.
I must have heard them say "The Azure Gate Bridge" a dozen times over the radio.
It just never registered.
Sometimes we don't see what's in front of us.
It's gonna be okay.
How?! We're going to get the timer, slide out of here and get home, I promise.
My friends- my family- my career- I'm nothing! Hey, hey, hey, come on.
Come on.
Come on.
Shh, shh, shh.
It's going to be okay.
Just remember our real families are still looking for us.
We've got to be strong, Wade.
For their sake as well as our own.
I'm sorry I didn't believe you.
I thought you were losing it.
Don't worry about it.
Come on, we've got work to do.
Come on.
A picture postcard of the "Azure Gate Bridge"- available from every tourist shop.
You've known all along.
- What? - You have, haven't you? Almost from the time we arrived.
- How you doing, man? - I don't believe you.
How could you put us through all that? Why? He wants to be famous, that's why.
Look, will you two grow up? This is as good as it gets.
You, Miss Wells, were a shop assistant.
You're about to become rich and famous as a result of publishing your journal- on every page of which, you lament the absence of your family.
Well, here you have a family! And you, Mr.
Mallory think of your mother.
You want to break her heart again? - She's not my mother.
- In some small measure, perhaps not but she's as close to the real thing as you're ever going to get.
Professor, we've been through a lot.
We've always stuck together.
You want to live a lie? I can't stop you.
I want the timer back.
I'm afraid that's not possible.
It's on loan to the science museum.
It wasn't yours to loan.
You stole it.
Look whether you slide with us or not, I'm getting the timer and the rest of us are sliding out of here, regardless.
You must do what you must do, Mr.
Mallory but then, so will I.
I don't understand why he's acting like this.
What are we, crazy? How can we spend so much time with somebody and not realize what a creep he is? He's scared, Wade.
He's lost hope that we're ever going to get home so he's settling for a close copy of his old reality.
Yeah, well, what if he's right? What if we never do get home? Do you want to stay, too? No.
Because I can't promise anything, Wade.
I'm not sure I can actually ever get us home.
We'll make it.
I know we will.
Come on.
we're going to have our hands full with Rembrandt, too.
While all of this is going on, I've got a tiger by the tail.
The reissue of "Cry Like a Man" sells more in one weekend than the original recording does in 16 years.
You've got to keep a perspective on a thing like that.
I mean, my agent books me on "MTV Unplugged"- just like Tony Bennett.
"MTV Unplugged," that's quite an honor.
- You'd think so, right? - Umm-hmm.
The only thing is that the deal was for me and my ex-backup singers.
And we had split on account of ego problems.
I got to cry me a river of tears tonight, sweetheart, make sure that's a waterproof base.
Uh, Remmy, two of the Topps want a word with you.
Man, I knew it.
Here it comes.
Just hear them out.
I'm trying to keep this whole thing together.
I never should have let you talk me into this, Artie.
Fellas.
Rembrandt, we've been thinking.
If you're going to kick off this gig with "Cry Like a Man," - changes got to take place.
- Yeah, changes.
You plan on crying like always? Of course, the fans would riot if I skimped on the tears.
If you're going to cry, we're crying, too.
That's right.
Why should you be the only one weeping? We get just as sad as you.
Rembrandt? Somebody named Quinn Mallory on the phone.
He says it's important.
Look, just take a message and tell him I'll call him right back.
Listen to me.
I'm "The Crying Man," you are the backup singers.
That's just the natural order of things.
If we all start crying, it's just going to confuse the audience.
We cry, or nobody cries.
South wing, clear.
Careful, it's wired.
- 30 seconds? - What? We've got no time for caution, Wade.
Come on.
We can't slide without the others.
What do we do? We'll be stuck here.
It reset.
How can that happen? It's not our timer.
It's a replica.
All right! Wait! Man, that really woke me up.
They were willing to miss the slide for me and the Professor.
Clearly these people care a great deal about you.
Yeah, it made me take stock of things, that's for sure.
I mean, about who my real friends are.
Friendship's about the only thing you can count on in this crazy world.
Excuse me.
Sorry to interrupt your session, Doctor, but I'm wondering if you need anything before I go.
Just a moment, Miss Jennings.
Oh, look at the time.
I'm supposed to meet my friends at 6:30.
We've got to slide.
No, I don't think you should stop now.
You're really making such progress.
Yeah, yeah, I do feel a little bit better.
In fact, I'll tell Miss Jennings to cancel my last appointment, okay? Call Gatehaven Hospital, have them send a stretcher and a straitjacket.
This is the most extraordinary case of florid off-the-wall dementia I've ever experienced.
Hurry up.
I don't know how long I can hold him.
Okay.
- Now, where were we? - Let's see.
Quinn and Wade spent the night in jail and the next morning I bailed them out.
So, after the Topps pulled out and hit me with an injunction, I got a hold of some of the sheet music, and on this world those leeches actually do share credit on some of my songs.
Wait a minute- you know? Yeah.
That's when I realized that Q-Ball was right all along.
I was on such a rocket ship to success, I didn't want to hear the truth.
Yeah, I know the feeling.
I just want you to know that I'm truly sorry.
We're together now, that's what's important.
Where are we going? If we have any hope of getting out of here, we have got to get the timer back.
Looks like no one's home.
Let's go.
Are you sure he has it here? I know the Professor, Rembrandt, he's not going to leave a thing like that in a science lab.
Science journals research magazines.
I didn't know the Professor wore bifocals.
Come on, people, we're not taking inventory here.
Shh! Shh! Quiet! Help! You hear something? - Quinn! - You hear that? It's coming from the basement.
Mice? Pretty big mice.
Mr.
Mallory! Is that you? - Professor! - Down here! Hello! Here, here! Rembrandt, Quinn, Miss Wells! Professor, what are you doing? Having a tea party.
What does it look like I'm doing? My insane double and his devious assistant have had me chained here since Monday week.
Of course-! Look, there's a hammer and chisel over there.
Get me out of this, quick.
Look, I thought our doubles had gone off sliding.
Yes, well the Arturo on this world decided- very smartly as it turns out- that his chances of returning were minimal.
So he chickened out.
At the last minute, he didn't slide.
He's been on sabbatical in Grass Valley trying to reconstruct sliding so he can get the credit.
And, of course, when you showed up, suddenly there were two of you.
Yes.
His assistant phoned him, and they decided I had to be a slider.
I was drugged, my personal belongings ransacked, I was thrown into the back of a black van.
The next thing I knew, I woke up here.
The same black van that was outside my house when the timer was stolen.
How you coming with that chain? Ahgh! Sorry.
Now I know exactly how the Israelites felt when Moses delivered them from the Pharaoh.
That scoundrel! That intellectually impoverished knave wanted me to win his Nobel for him.
As you can see, I told him nothing.
All right, come on, guys, let's get out of here.
Yeah, Professor, where's the timer? I think he hid it over here.
Here- he thought I was asleep.
Looking for this? And you really think that you can pull off this counterfeit? You scoundrel.
This man is a thief, a kidnapper and a liar.
Pay no attention to anything he says.
- Uh-oh.
- Who's who, Q-Ball? Can't you see that aside from outward appearances this charlatan is nothing like me? He's a self-aggrandizing, malcontented egomaniac who thinks that the sun rises and sets for him.
He sounds like Arturo.
Then how the hell was I the man chained up?! Now listen to me.
This is crucial.
I managed to escape early today, and in the process chained down the Arturo of this world whom you, unfortunately, have mistaken for me.
Think! Don't you find it odd that he knew exactly where to look for the timer? Because I was sitting over there when you hid it here! The world where I built the atom bomb, the world where I met my late wife- now who else would know that but me? Anyone who had read Miss Wells' serialized diary, you blistering idiot! It is a disgrace, sir, to think that we share a common genetic structure! You scoundrel! Oh! That's for chaining me up in this hellhole for the past two weeks.
You better be the right one, man.
Of course I'm the right one, you blistering idiot! I don't understand.
You're my son, and you're not my son? Remember how I explained doubles? You're exactly like my mom, too.
Your son's still out there- as determined as I am to get home.
But why do you have to leave now? Can't you stay until my Quinn comes home? I don't have a choice.
I'm sorry.
Mr.
Mallory? Miss Wells? Time to go.
Take care, sweetie.
You, too, Dad.
You gonna be okay, sweetheart? Wait! Oh, man, not again! You're making a terrible mistake! Stop him! Don't let him slide! If one's the impostor, why does he want to slide with us? Because without the timer he can't get a Nobel Prize.
He's got to try for one in our world.
What do we do, Q-Ball? Take them both.
Sort it out after we slide.
Like hell we will.
Go, go! Run! Impostor! Scoundrel! Knave! Professor, we're going to miss the window! Hurry, my boy! Confound it! Oh, my God.
So that's the whole story, Doc, soup to nuts.
Fame and fortune snatched from our clutches.
Condemned to wander the interdimensional vortex like nomads.
Not to mention, more ugly memories of mutinous Topps.
On top of which, we've got an Arturo, we don't even know which one he is.
Hi.
Hi.
We need to see Rembrandt Brown.
He's in a session with the doctor.
You don't understand, this is an emergency.
I'm sorry, you can't interrupt the session.
I don't have time to argue with you.
- Hey, you can't go in there! - Rembrandt! Rembrandt! We're his family.
Excuse me, you can't just barge in here- I'm sorry.
Rembrandt, we're gonna miss the slide.
My apologies, guys, I kind of lost track of time.
Always looking after me, huh, Q-Ball? That's what it's all about.
"Q-Ball"? Three, two, one Sorry about all this, Doc.
Doc? Rembrandt, come on! It was the most beautiful blue- like a robin's egg a sky on a crystalline summer's morning.
A pathway to other worlds, you see? Yes.
He called it "sliding.
" A name charming in its simplicity, but wholly inadequate to describe the wonder of it all.
You believe me, Miss Jennings, don't you? I mean, you all believe me? Every word I'm saying's the truth, I swear.
Say, could you just help me here? I'm feeling a little confined.