Spun Out (2014) s02e08 Episode Script

Dude Where's My Client

Guys, check it out.
Ah, for the last time, Beckett, no one wants to know about your personal roleplaying fantasies.
Hilar! It came with the Bzzz Tequila promotional materials.
Let's light a candle for the poor girl with daddy issue that ends up wearing that.
Hey, everybody! You have all been working so hard on the Bzzz Tequila account, I figured you needed a little reward.
Drinking at work makes it taste that much sweeter.
So, there are actual bees in these bottles? - Yeah.
- Hohoho! You were a big bee when you stung me last summer; enjoy your watery grave.
- Well, I'm off.
- (Beckett): You're not staying? I'd love to stay and drink beginner liquor with you, but I assume I've made better plans.
Yep, looks like it's just the bad boys of DLPR now.
- Ho! Ho! Ho! - Oh, ooh! And a pretend drink for Gordon.
Just like when I was a kid at the bar with my mom.
- (Gordon groaning and laughing) - (all except Gordon): Cheers! (tick-tock going faster) (Ding!) (blues music) (Ding!) (Ding!) (Ding!) (coughing) (Ding!) - Argh! - Ow! Wha-What happened? (The woman snorts.
) (in hoarse voice): No Come on, fill the lens With all your friends Oh-oh-oh, now is forever Come on, fill the lens How how could we? Why could we? Look, we probably didn't.
For something that we didn't do, it sure looks a lot like we did.
Granted, but looks can be deceiving.
- You got lipstick on your face.
- That doesn't help my case.
- Good? - Ugh, this is so embarrassing.
It's now how I imagined it happening.
- What? - What? Not that I've imagined it happening.
What were you saying? This is so crazy, Beckett.
I don't know, it could be worse.
Although I can't believe that whatever did or didn't happen happened or didn't happen in your dad's office.
Oh, thank you, Beckett.
That does make it worse.
What am I supposed to do? I can't go out there like this! - Come on, you look cute.
- Ugh Just "bee" yourself.
Try not to create a buzz.
Oh, my dad's coat! Oh, I'm sorry, was I "droning" on? - Stop "pun-ishing" me.
- But "hive" got so many more.
Fine.
But seriously, honey, comb your hair.
- It's a mess.
- Oh, that stings.
Oh, come on, you're better than that.
Whoa What in the hell happened last night? I don't know, but it doesn't take a detective to know that you guys had sex last night.
You're naked under there or what? No.
Grow up.
Oh yeah, daddy issues.
Alright, nothing happened in there.
You're covered in lipstick.
It's not even the right shade for your neck! - It makes you look cheap.
- Something probably happened.
But we don't remember anything.
You guys remember? - No.
- I'm afraid not.
Nah, me neither.
Gord, what's your excuse? You don't drink.
Yeah, but once you guys started eating the bees in the bottle, I was all in.
Oh, dear God! We ate the bees?! - Hey, what's with the basket? - I don't know.
"Nice to meet all of you.
Looking forward to your presentation tomorrow at 3pm.
D.
" What presentation? And who's D? Wait a minute.
Yesterday's tomorrow was today, which means someone is gonna be here for a meeting in three hours.
Oh, my God, his math checks out.
OK.
I will clean up this whole mess, you guys look for clues to find out who this is from.
Good call, Nancy Drew.
Me and the new girlfriend will check out the kitchen.
- Ha! I'm not his girlfriend.
- No time! - All right.
- Hey, all right, - no more joking around.
- I wouldn't dream of it, I am all business now, which is why I'm glad we're starting a serious relationship.
- Ugh, shut up.
- Relax.
We had one night of fun and neither of us remembers.
It's over, it's done.
- Great! - Great! - Great! - Great.
- Good.
- Great.
- (The woman sighs.
) - I'm sure it was great.
Oh, two young lovers, hmm Tentative at first of course but unable to deny the fire in their loins.
OK, relax, Two Shades of Grey, I'm gonna go check the supply room.
- Did you find anything? - Nah, nothing out here.
It's not about what you find, it's about the friends you make along the way.
Have you guys checked your phones? Yeah, duh! Actually, I have not checked my phone.
Ahem! Oh, man! I have like 10 Uber receipts from last night, and they're all with the same driver: Gwen.
I guess she must have been our chauffeur.
That's something! Call her, see if she knows anything.
Yeah, yeah.
OK, OK.
Hi.
Is this Gwen? Hi, it's Nelson Abrams.
I was just wondering if you remember Oh, you do.
- (whispering): Yes! - Oh, great, I was wondering if I could ask you Oh, you are.
Ah, why don't we meet at Manion's? Great! See you soon.
Why are you meeting her at Manion's? She's in the area and she wants to do this face-to-face.
Is this creepy? - Take Gordon.
- Oh, yes! We are gonna make a friend along the way.
Oh, yeah, this.
This is less creepy.
Alright.
OK.
OK.
OK, that's enough! Here's my "favouritest" roommate.
What's going on, Abby-licious! Do not cute nickname me.
Seriously, do you guys not remember anything from last night? I barely remember anything from the beginning of this sentence.
What was I saying? - (Abby sighs.
) - Look, you guys got so crazy - you made a gang of bikers cry.
- OK, but more importantly, when did I get this tattoo? - My God! - What the hell is that? I don't know, but judging by the numbness in my knees, I'm pretty sure it's infected.
Abby Oh, look.
Anyways I kicked you guys out.
- Hmm Hello, Nelson.
- Hmm-hmm! - Hi.
You must be Gwen.
- Yeah.
Or as you put it, your first girlfriend.
- Oh, is that how I put it? - Mm-hmm.
Oh, wow.
Well, some of the details from last night are a little foggy.
Oh, you guys were pretty nuts! That was the most fun I have had in my life.
No one cares about your fun, Gwen.
What happened next? I drove you guys to a couple of bars, but after they turned you away, I took you to your apartment and then another apartment and then back to work.
Uh, you forgot tattoo parlour.
Oh, my God, that's disgusting.
Uh, it's not like I'm ever gonna see it.
Oh, and, uh, you left this in the backseat.
Great! Thank you so much - for my jacket.
- (both chuckling) Don't I get a little thank you? I thought I just d Hmm-hmm-hmm! Wow! Lady lips.
Oh, crap! Dave! Listen! I'm gonna go upstairs and warn the others.
Keep him here for as long as you possibly can.
- You hear that? - Easy-peasy.
Let's go.
- Hey, Abby.
- Hi, Dave.
Brunch? Yes! - Gordon - Oh, hey, Dave, I didn't see you there.
How are you doing today? - Don't go up to the office! - Why the hell would I? - It's Saturday.
- I know, but things have gone to hell in a hand basket, and I can't allow you to go up there to find out.
Hohoho! Damn, you are good.
You're good.
He broke me down; he's a master manipulator.
Oh, and, Nelson, I may have told him when you were sick last month that you were actually in Vegas.
He's just that good! So how was your night? So, you all got blackout drunk, and set up a pitch meeting with a client we know nothing about, nor in what capacity they are seeking our services.
Your rage is entirely justified, sir.
I've written letters of resignation for everyone.
Actually had them prepared for quite some time.
No, no.
I'm excited.
Crafting a campaign with no information, that's a challenge.
Of course, once I've met that challenge, my mood might be a little unpredictable, - so keep those letters handy.
- Boss, what's our first move? Well, gather evidence.
Where you went, who you were with, anything could be useful.
OK, well, according to my new girlfriend, we did make a stop by at our place.
I could check there.
Alright.
Take Bryce with you.
And, Stephanie, take Beckett back to your place, see if there's anything there.
And while you're there, - put on some clothes.
- OK.
You know, also, while we're there, we should probably clear up some place in one of your drawers for my clothes.
Now that we're dating, you're gonna stop dressing like that.
What's wrong with this? Hey! Well, that can't be good.
And I'm pretty sure that's a felony.
Man! Must have been one hell of a night.
I'm sorry I missed it.
Clues! Clues, clues, clues! If I was a clue, where would I be? Pff! How many energy drinks do you boys need? Hey, Bryce, what's in your fridge, huh? A human head? Oh, my.
- What? - Oh, my! - What?! - Oh, my! - Stop "oh-mying"! - Ohhh, my! Listen to me, I will beat you with an oar if you don't tell me what's going on.
DNAS3! DNAS3 is a research laboratory rumoured to be involved in human cloning! Bryce, we have the chance to land the highest profile, most controversial client of our LIVES! Oh, I can't wait to send them a hair sample.
Dude, you don't have any hair.
- Oh, not mine, Dave's.
- Ah, man.
Oh, my God, the place is a mess! Well, it could use more photos of me.
- (Stephanie): Ah Jeez! - Oh, don't clean on my account.
I'm used to being the neat one in the relationship.
I don't care about you.
My cleaning lady's coming.
I can't let Elaine see the place like this.
She's very judge-y.
Hmm You know, I'm generally a pretty open-minded guy, but you could scale back a titch on the kitsch, unless you're planning to open a New England bed and breakfast.
It's not mine.
Oh, that's from Manion's! We must have taken it last night.
We should return it before anyone notices.
I'll go change.
- Oh, I'll help with that.
- Sit down.
Oh, c'mon, it's nothing I haven't seen and completely - forgotten about before.
- Oh, Beckett, your testicles are so vulnerable right now.
Loud and clear, yep.
Alright, good, Abby's not here.
Let's get this up.
Don't mind us.
International whale thieves.
- Hello.
Whale thieves.
- Oh good, he's back! Did you guys take him for a walk? Yeah, he needed it to stretch his legs.
bar will do that to you.
Don't worry, he slept well in my apartment.
Ooh! So that's where you guys ended up last night.
Mm-hmmm.
Ah! Yeah, Dina was pretty bummed when you took off with Sinatra over here.
- Who's Dina? - Oh, just one of a multitude of women lined up for a piece of this.
Who's Dina? Your karaoke partner.
She will be heartbroken that you don't remember her.
There was a lot going on last night.
- Tell me about it.
- (Beckett laughing nervously) No, seriously though.
Tell me about it in graphic detail, because Nelson cancelled HBO.
The details are a little fuzzy.
- We know there was kissing.
- Oooh! Really? Amazing! Oh, I'm so happy for you guys! But I'm even happier for me.
Maybe now, you're gonna stop blathering on about her all the time.
- Oh, really? - What?! I don't blather.
What do I blather? I am not a blatherer.
I mean, I may have mentioned you in passing, but in a positive light.
Oh god, I'm blathering.
No, you're blithering.
But it's OK, you're not the only one.
Just last week, Stephanie - What? Now not, Abby! - I'd like to hear the end.
There's no time! Bryce, look around you.
- Tell me what you see.
- I don't know.
- Some charts.
- Who said that? Charts?! - Ho! Ho! Ho! - I mean, I see charts, but I don't see any facts.
Oh, you're talking about "facts"? I'm up here in front of you talking to you about charts, charts that I love, and you come back at me talking about facts?! Look, I mean It's just all so vague! Yes! Very vague.
Listen to me.
Using colours and shapes and numbers, OK, we wow our clients into submission.
Sir, aren't you, uh, a little worried that we might be ill-prepared for this presentation today? Not in the least.
Once, when Nelson and I were on the road, the airline lost our luggage.
And with nothing but a felt-tip pen, a glue stick, and some poster board, this man convinced a roomful of executives to sign with us on the spot.
In this man's hands, charts are a deadly weapon.
- Dave.
- Hey! Hi.
- (Stephanie): Hey, Dad! - You're all ready - for the big pitch? - Oh, I'm getting there.
- (laughing) - Hey, uh, Dad, has anyone mentioned anything to you about me and I don't know, like, Beckett or something? Or whatever? Oh, my God! Did you two finally get together? - I don't know.
- (high-pitched): Well, maybe! There's no way to really - That's fantastic.
- Listen, uh - We should also tell you - In case anyone mentions it So you don't hear it from anyone else.
It may have happened sort of Could have happened sort of - In the general - Area.
- Oh, my office? In my office? - (overlapping chatter) - Lipstick all over my mouth.
- We don't know why.
We wake up.
Alright.
Well, somebody is gonna have to delete my security-camera footage and it's not gonna be me.
- Security footage? - Security camera? Yah! Security camera! Where? - Ohhh - Ohhh Hey.
Alright, here's the page.
Alright.
And let me give you the password.
- Take care of it.
- OK.
- Alright.
- Love you, Daddy.
Love you too, sweetie, and I guess I love you too, Beckett.
Thanks, Dave.
- (Beckett sighs.
) - (Stephanie sighs.
) - OK.
- Here's the file - from last night.
- Mm-hmm.
- And delete.
- Oh, hey! Hey, hey.
Maybe you wanna maybe watch it? - Really? - Come on, aren't you curious? Yeah! I mean if you're - Yeah.
- Yeah, OK, yeah.
I just I get to control the fast forward, please.
Alright, I get to control the pause.
Also, I should warn you that I got a pretty heavy workload lately, I haven't really been working out as much as I normally do.
I, on the other hand, am in peak physical condition, so press play.
Haha! Oh! Well, at least, I'm standing up right.
Yeah, there's the bumblebee costume.
Well, horizontal stripes work for you.
It looks good on you.
I was looking for my contact lens.
- Or your dignity.
- Oh, my God! Are we playing? - Strip rock-paper-scissors.
- It looks that way.
Wow, I am losing pretty bad.
Ah, I want your shirt.
Yep.
And I'm giving you the pants.
Are you folding your pants? Quiet, things have to keep a certain order, otherwise it's just chaos, the world is chaos.
- Oh.
- Hey, you can dance.
- Right.
- Not well, but you can dance.
- I can move.
- Technically, it's movement.
Who's leading? - It's surprisingly long.
- Fast forward.
- Fast forward.
- Wow, still going.
- Three times.
Four times.
- Oh, we're on the couch, Aw, Beckett, you're taking my shoes off.
Call that a reverse prince charming.
Oh, I'm moving in.
Oh, here it comes.
And there it goes.
Swing and a miss.
And - you're asleep.
- Mm-hmm.
We're asleep.
Nothing happened.
- Didn't even kiss.
- Didn't even kiss.
Thank God! Ha! Apparently, I am repulsed by you.
Yah, not attracted to you at all.
Evidently.
- What is wrong with us? - I don't know.
Although I've got to say I'm kind of relieved - that didn't happen.
- Yeah, me too.
I've It's not really how I would have imagined it to happen.
OK, come on, have you guys deleted that file yet? - Yes.
- Yep! - It's all gone.
- Ah, good.
Alright, well, it's almost time to the pitch meeting.
Alright? - OK.
Be right there.
- (Dave): Sure, alright.
(door closing) - (both): OK.
- Good.
All good.
Mission accomplished.
(Beckett sighs.
) (Ding!) Heavens! What's all this? Hello.
Can I help you? - Dina, what are you doing here? - She's an evil cloning mastermind, and we're delighted to have you.
Aaah DNAS3 is Dina's at 3.
Dina at 3.
That was your gift basket? - Of course.
- Well, that is Dina's business.
Dina's Gift Bags and Baskets.
You agreed to help me find a catchier name - for my store.
- (Dave): Aaah I see.
So that's the presentation.
Coming up with a new name for a gift shop.
- If it isn't too much trouble.
- No, no! Lady, check these charts out, OK? 'Cause what they really show is that a business name change really inc - No, no charts.
No charts! - There are really good charts.
- You're saying no to charts.
- No.
Taking the charts, really good charts.
- OK.
Alright.
- Quality charts! Dina 3, you could have had some really lovely charts.
- Nelson! - You give and you give - and what do you get? - Nelson! - (Nelson): I'm sorry! - I'm sorry.
How about "Decadence by Dina"? - Oh, that's wonderful.
- Oh.
Now, let me pay you.
Oh no, no, no! I don't need your money.
- Oh, now, you did the work - But so you must get the reward.
Now, that's $100.
Oh! You know what? I, I, I really don't need - your money.
OK? - (Dina): Oh But thank you so much.
It's been lovely to meet you.
Thank you, son, yeah.
So then, - goodbye everyone.
- (others): Bye, Dina.
And to you, my karaoke and kissing partner hahaha thanks for a great time.
I'm gonna have to ask you to remove your hand.
And the other one.
Who are you saving it for, princess? - (Beckett sighs.
) - (Ding!) You slut.
Sir, I apologize for this disaster of a weekend.
I can't believe it got so out of hand.
Not to worry, Bryce.
I sent a bottle of Bzzz Tequila to the lab to be tested.
Turns out those bees are tainted.
They cause disorientation, blackouts, and Tourette's.
Yes, apparently, I have several letters of apology - to write today.
- I was able to get Bzzz Tequila to stop distribution, so they've saved themselves from a class-action lawsuit, so they are sending us - a very big check.
- So, we're heroes! Well, I'm a hero; you guys are lab rats.
(Beep!), sir.
Ahhh Gosh, I hope that wears off.
- Abby! - Dave! Brunch? - Yes.
Gordon.
- Oh! Hi, Dave, didn't see you there.
How are you doing today? - Don't go up to the office! - Why the hell would I? - It's Saturday! - I know, but things have gone to hell in a hand basket, and I can't allow you - to go there to find out.
- (men laughing) - Damn, you're good.
- You made me laugh, sorry.
- (Gordon laughing) - I'm gonna go again.

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