Strangers with Candy (1999) s02e08 Episode Script
Blank Stare: Part 1
1
I'm gonna sit
at the welcome table ♪
sing about it ♪
I'm gonna sit at the welcome
table one of these days ♪
hallelujah ♪
I'm gonna sit
at the welcome table ♪
[GUNSHOTS]
[GAME]
Good shooting, assassin.
Get ready for
Chester A. Arthur.
Check it out, Orlando.
Chester A. Arthur's
about to cut the ribbon.
Don't worry, Chester
Everything is fine
You're safe behind that
big walrus mustache
All right, c'mon, Jerri.
Ha ha ha you missed me!
Way to go, Orlando!
God, I hate that
"you missed me" dance.
We're gonna be late for school.
Oh come on, one more game.
No.
Oh, come on, come
on, come on, come on
Here comes Washington.
He walks into it every time.
I noticed you
two weren't smiling.
Would you care for a flower
and some happiness?
Not right now.
There's a powdered wig
in my sights,
and I'm just about to
drive some lead through it.
Bingo!
The father of our
country is down!
Ha ha ha look, his
wooden teeth popped out!
That's hilarious!
You seem to really enjoy life.
I get my kicks.
Would you like a flower
for a small donation?
I wouldn't mind shoving
something in that can of yours.
Listen, we don't want
what you're selling.
Leave us alone?
Why'd you do that, Orlando?
Those people are a nuisance.
What about your people?
Talk about a nuisance.
Here comes Jefferson!
No, come on, Jerri,
we're gonna be late!
Damn!
You missed me, assassin!
Now I'm gonna go have
sex with my slaves!
[SPITTING]
Hello, I'm Jerri Blank.
32 years ago I dropped
out of high school
and ran away from home.
Oh, I made a lot of friends,
did a lot of time.
I was a boozer,
a user, and a loser.
I stole the TV.
Did some more time.
But now I'm back in school!
And though the faces
may have changed
The hassles are just the same.
Good morning, students.
This is your principal.
All rise
So that you might sit for
my morning announcement.
Number one:
All rise.
All right, sit.
That is all.
Iris, give it a rest.
Oh, I love my little
morning pep talk.
Let's see
"Senate Deadlocked on Bill,"
"The Fed Pushes the Prime,"
"Double-Headed Baby Born to
Single-Breasted Mother
The heads must
fight to feed."
Ah what's this?
"Messianic Cult
Moves to Flatpoint!"
Cult!
I don't like the sound of that.
What kind of maniac would
attempt to control fresh young minds?
Attention!
Iris, hit it!
Harken to my voice!
An insidious cult is intent
on controlling your actions!
I command you
to avoid it at all cost!
That is all.
One more thing.
That is all.
[BELL RINGING]
Hey Jerri!
Pretty spooky about
the cult, huh?
Yeah, I'm terrified.
See me shake?
Damn D.T.S.
Who cares about cults?
You know, they prey
on the friendless
Blah, blah, blah
Hello, ladies,
what are you doin'?
Oh we were just wondering
why you'd come talk to us?
Wanted to know what plans you
had, for Fri, Sat, Sun?
Well, first we're
going to avoid you.
Then after that, we
thought we'd shun you,
and then we're going to a party!
Hey why don't you
not come with us!
[GROAN]
What are you looking at, bongo?
You know what else the cults do?
Again with the cults?
They prey on the weak-minded.
Hey, Jerri, eat this!
What is it?
It's a scab!
Ha ha ha ha!
Again?
Boy, am I simple.
What were you saying, Orlando?
Nothing, I'll see you Monday.
Wha I thought we were
hanging out this weekend?
I can't I'm helping my uncle
stock our church with
water and firearms.
Scab.
[GROAN]
Oh Jerri, I didn't know you
were coming home this early.
We would have left sooner.
Where are we going?
Well, if by "we,"
you mean Derrick and I,
then the answer is a family
"Get Away Weekend"
to Goodtime Island!
Goodtime Island!
Oh, didn't I remember
not to tell you?
DERRICK: Check it out, troll.
All access pass
with full release!
Full release! I'll
go pack my things!
Oh I'm sorry, Jerri.
You know, the car only
has room for four,
and we've already got two!
So if you get hungry
Uh, eat something.
Unnnnn!
Come on, Derrick!
Unnnnh
Unnnnnh
Unhh!
I've got the whole
place to myself!
Ha! I'll
show them!
I'm gonna have a party!
I'm gonna call
all my friends and
Yeah friends.
I know I'll feed my baby.
Oh, that's right.
My baby is an imaginary creation
to fight the ravages
of loneliness.
I'll go to the mall.
[SPLASH]
Watch out.
Hey!
[SPLASH]
Hi.
Hi!
The girl with the nice can.
Are you alone?
Not really.
I just don't have any family
or friends that care about me.
Do you need a friend
to care about you?
Yeah!
Well, how did you know?
Because I can tell that
you care about people.
Hey!
[SPLASH]
Look, I sprayed the guy
in the wheelchair
with my grape sodie!
My name is Rebecca.
What's yours, Jerri?
Jerri.
What's yours, Rebecca?
Rebecca.
What are you doing this weekend?
You're lookin' at it.
Well, I'm driving to a place
where there'll be hugging and
singing and a lot
of people being friendly.
Why don't you come with me?
You really want me
to come with you?
Yes.
I can't wait for you
to meet Father.
Wait a minute, what
kinda place is this?
Oh, it's just a
collective cooperative
community service operation
outreach program project.
Okay, as long as
you're not a cult.
Jesus! Let's go! [SPLASH]
Nice ride!
Maybe we could park
along the way
Know what I mean?
I don't think there's
time, Jerri.
Hey, everyone, this is Jerri!
ALL:
Hallelujah, Jerri!
You look like a
bunch of zombies!
Ha ha ha ha ha!
Get in!
I'm gonna sit
at the welcome table ♪
sing about it ♪
I'm gonna sit at the welcome
table one of these days ♪
hallelujah ♪
I'm gonna sit
at the welcome table ♪
gonna sit at the welcome table
one of these days ♪
I'm gonna sit
at the welcome table ♪
sing about it ♪
I'm gonna sit at the welcome
table one of these days ♪
hallelujah ♪
I'm gonna sit
at the welcome table
gonna sit at the welcome
table one of these days ♪
I'm gonna sit
at the welcome table ♪
sing about it ♪
I'm gonna sit at the welcome
table one of these days ♪
hallelujah ♪
I'm gonna sit at
the welcome table ♪
gonna sit at the welcome
table one of these days ♪
[SONG CONTINUES]
Boy, you people sure
are fond of that ditty.
So where are we?
I must've fallen
asleep after you
slipped me those pills
and put on that blindfold.
This is Safe Trap House.
Where is that?
Right here!
Where is right here?
Safe Trap House, silly!
Ughmmm!
You're a yum-yum.
C'mon, Jerri, let's
go inside forever.
What is it that
you people do here?
Sing a little,
eat a little fudge,
and surrender our wills
to an Oriental messiah.
Hmmm, eat a little fudge?
I don't know,
maybe I should head home.
Home to what, Jerri?
A family that doesn't care
and friends that don't love you?
Well, technically,
it's my friends
that don't care
and my family
that doesn't love me.
Jerri, this may be your
first last best chance
to have any hope
for a fresh start
at a new beginning for
the first time again.
There's going to be
a lot of hugging
Hmmmm I'm in.
sit at the welcome
table one of these days ♪
hallelujah ♪
I'm gonna sit at
the welcome table ♪
gonna sit at the welcome table
one of these days ♪
Oooh, boy, am I exhausted.
Seriously, you people really
need to learn a new song.
I'll bet you know a lot
of great songs, Jerri!
Oh, plenty.
I remember this was this one
song about a welcome table
and people liked to
sit at it
This is where we'll be
sleeping tonight, Jerri.
We?
As in you
and we?
Yeeeeess.
Watch your step it's dark.
Take my hand, Bec,
and lead me gently
into the darkness.
Oof!
What was that?
Oh, wow.
We're not alone.
That's cool. I can
swing with that.
Hey, I've been there.
Hey!
Two?
Hmm yeah
It's gonna be a craaazzzy night,
a choo choo train, all aboard
Oh we're
sleeping together.
I thought we were
Sleeping together.
You'll be here,
and I'll be down there!
Good night!
Women.
[LOUD SNORING]
Ah, great.
[SNORES]
[SNORES CONTINUE]
I'm gonna sit
at the welcome table ♪
sing about it ♪
I'm gonna sit at the welcome
table one of these days ♪
hallelujah ♪
I'm gonna sit
at the welcome table ♪
gonna sit at the welcome table
one of these days ♪
Rise and shine, Jerri!
Today is all about you!
I'm gonna sit
at the welcome table ♪
sing about it ♪
I'm gonna sit at the welcome
table one of these days ♪
hallelujah ♪
I'm gonna sit
at the welcome table ♪
gonna sit at the welcome table
one of these days ♪
ALL:
Good morning, Jerri!
Welcome to breakfast!
Take a hike, smiley.
How did you sleep, Jerri?
Alone.
Damn! My muscle's as tight
as a Hebrew's wallet.
Hi! I'm new here,
too, my name's Adam.
Fascinating.
Hey, gramps I'll take some
sausage links, sausage
patties, Canadian bacon,
back bacon, bacon, coffee
black keep it comin'.
Uh, we don't eat
meat here, Jerri.
Only grains
They represent
the essence of God.
Hmm more
good news.
God's a little bland.
Hey, Bec, ya got a bus schedule?
What's wrong, Jerri?
I mean, I like the
hugging and everything,
and all the new friends,
but it gets a little
frustrating when we don't
Kick it up a notch, do
you know what I mean?
[CHORAL SOUNDS]
Ahhh oooo
Father, Father Father,
Father Father, Father
Father, Father Father,
Father Father, Father
Who's that?
Father.
Behold!
The power and
the majesty of faith!
Ahhhhhh!
Amen.
Ah!
Thank you, Bill!
Every morning, my children,
after I float into your midst,
it occurs to me that we
thank God for this food.
But do we ever ask ourselves
Why God?
I have.
And I'll tell ya something,
I can't think of
one good reason.
So from now on
we're going to be thanking me.
ALL:
Thank you, Father!
I thought you said
he was a chink.
No, Jerri
I said his father was
stationed in Korea for a while.
Ooooowwwwaaaaaaya!
When it comes people,
it will happen this fast!
Someone will take
a pitcher of juice and
smash it against the wall.
And then you know
what's gonna happen?
Somebody's gonna have
to clean it up.
Who's that gonna be?
You.
Freaks.
Nice floor show.
Look, Bec,
I don't think this
is working out.
I'll tell you what,
as soon as I pass
what I'm guessing will be a
Memorable stool,
I'm gonna take the first train
out of Planet Zoot,
or wherever you people are from.
Rebecca.
Jerri, this is
"Father," our Father!
Hey, Pops, I'm Jerri Blank.
Who are you?
What are ya, "deef"?
I said, I'm Jerri Blank.
No, that's too easy.
Whooo arrrrre yoooouuuu?
Jer-ree-Blaaaank.
Nice chat, I gotta blow.
Well, goodbye, Jerri Blank.
It'll be a shame to lose
someone as beautiful as you.
Kasa wasa wa?
Isn't she lovely, everyone?
Uhhhhhh
I said isn't she
lovely, everyone?!
ALL:
She's lovely!
You are a gorgeous
creature from God!
Ehhhh, ehhhh
Why should we be blessed
with all this beauty?
No.
Go shine it onto the world!
Go!
I can't leave
She can't leave!
No, it's locked,
the door is locked!
I'm gonna sit at the welcome
table one of these days ♪
hallelujah ♪
sit at the welcome table
one of these days ♪
I'm gonna sit
at the welcome table ♪
Come on, my children,
remember
We're exerting ourselves
for a higher power!
Namely, me!
[SINGING]
Why'd you leave
the Love Line, Jerri?
It's a little tough
on the haunches.
I'm just so tired.
Don't you mean you're just so
Pretty?
C'mon, let's get back in line.
sing about it ♪
I'm gonna sit at the welcome
table one of these days ♪
hallelujah ♪
I'm gonna sit
at the welcome table ♪
gonna sit at the welcome table
one of these days ♪
I'm gonna sit
at the welcome table ♪
sing about it ♪
I'm gonna sit at the welcome
table one of these days ♪
hallelujah ♪
I'm gonna sit
at the welcome table ♪
gonna sit at the welcome ♪
What now, Jerri?
I wanna go home.
Fine.
You're not a prisoner here.
There are no bars
on our electrified fences.
We don't have attack dogs
lurking in the
alligator-infested swamps
surrounding this compound.
Here, call your parents
Have them come pick you up.
That's a sandal.
More distrust, Jerri!
ALL: Trust, love,
beauty, friends, fudge!
Trust, love, beauty,
friends, fudge!
Trust, love,
beauty, friends, fudge!
Trust, love, beauty,
friends, fudge!
Trust, love,
beauty, friends, fudge!
Trust, love, beauty,
friends, fudge!
Trust, love,
beauty, friends, fudge!
Why don't you trust us, Jerri?
Because I think you're trying to
take advantage of my weak mind?
No, we're not, Jerri.
[LIKE ROBOT]
No, you're not, Jerri.
You love it here.
I love it here.
This is a place of
personal fulfillment
and spiritual ecstasy.
This is a
What you just said.
I think you just made a
great breakthrough, Jerri.
She's one of us!
Wheeewwwww!
[SONG BEGINS AGAIN]
You are gonna make a
wonderful heavenly robot!
I think it's time for you to
call someone who cares
about you and tell them
you've got a new home.
Call home
I'm gonna sit at the welcome
table one of these days ♪
hallelujah ♪
I'm gonna sit
at the welcome table ♪
[DIAL TONE]
Mom, don't worry about Jerri.
I'm not.
Yes, you are.
Well, what if I am?!
I'm her step-mother, after all,
and I keep thinking that the
phone is never going to ring
and we're never going
to hear from her anymore.
[PHONE RINGING]
Mom, don't worry, she'll call.
[RING]
I wish I could believe that.
She's my little girl
What if she doesn't come home?
Derrick.
[RING]
Mom, we can't
give up hope, we can't!
I know, honey.
[RING]
Jerri, we're running
out of coins.
I know, I know
I got another idea.
[RING]
Hello, Orlando?
Jerri, where are you?
Everything's fine.
I'm with my new friends
at "Safe Trap House."
Safe Trap House?
Jerri, that's a cult!
Are they holding
you against your will?
No, Orlando.
They're my friends.
If they weren't,
why would they have
offered to wash my brain?
Try to remember who you are.
Remember the old Jerri.
Throwing those bricks
off the overpass?
Burying those
bones by the highway?
Remember that horrible thing
you did to the squirrel?
The squirrel.
Jerri, listen to me!
Get out of there!
Safe Trap House is a cult.
If you don't leave now,
you'll never leave!
You hear me?
It's a cult!
What? I think I would know
if I was in a cult, Orlando.
It's not like they're all
wearing the same colored
Clothes with
wide-eyed stares
Right!
Thanks, Orlando.
I'll take your
advice and stay put.
I certainly wouldn't run away
and expect you to meet me
at the mall with a fast car
and a disguise.
Goodbye, you paranoid person!
Well, who's up for a song?
Huh?
Certainly sounds like
a lot of fun to me!
I'm just gonna walk
over here to these stairs,
and run like hell!
[ALL YELLING]
[VIDEO GAME NOISES]
[GAME]
You missed me, assassin!
I am not a corpse.
Where is she?
Why didn't she
show up last night?
GIRL:
Flowers?
Flowers?
Jerri!
Hey, Jerri!
Jerri! Wha
Jerri!
Jerri!
Oh, I'm sorry. I thought
you were someone else.
Care to buy some
flowers, stranger?
Jerri?
[LIKE ROBOT]
Jerri's dead.
My name is Sycamore.
I gotta go, Orlando
cult's waiting.
I'll catch you later.
Nooooo!
Yes.
I'm gonna sit
at the welcome table ♪
sing about it ♪
I'm gonna sit at the welcome
table one of these days ♪
hallelujah! ♪
I'm gonna sit
at the welcome table ♪
gonna sit at the welcome
table one of these days ♪
I'm gonna sit
at the welcome table ♪
sing about it ♪
I'm gonna sit at the welcome
table one of these days ♪
hallelujah ♪
I'm gonna sit
at the welcome table ♪
gonna sit at the welcome
table one of these days ♪
I'm gonna sit at
the welcome table ♪
sing about it ♪
I'm gonna sit
at the welcome table ♪
sing about it ♪
I'm gonna sit at the welcome
table one of these days ♪
hallelujah ♪
I'm gonna sit
at the welcome table ♪
[GUNSHOTS]
[GAME]
Good shooting, assassin.
Get ready for
Chester A. Arthur.
Check it out, Orlando.
Chester A. Arthur's
about to cut the ribbon.
Don't worry, Chester
Everything is fine
You're safe behind that
big walrus mustache
All right, c'mon, Jerri.
Ha ha ha you missed me!
Way to go, Orlando!
God, I hate that
"you missed me" dance.
We're gonna be late for school.
Oh come on, one more game.
No.
Oh, come on, come
on, come on, come on
Here comes Washington.
He walks into it every time.
I noticed you
two weren't smiling.
Would you care for a flower
and some happiness?
Not right now.
There's a powdered wig
in my sights,
and I'm just about to
drive some lead through it.
Bingo!
The father of our
country is down!
Ha ha ha look, his
wooden teeth popped out!
That's hilarious!
You seem to really enjoy life.
I get my kicks.
Would you like a flower
for a small donation?
I wouldn't mind shoving
something in that can of yours.
Listen, we don't want
what you're selling.
Leave us alone?
Why'd you do that, Orlando?
Those people are a nuisance.
What about your people?
Talk about a nuisance.
Here comes Jefferson!
No, come on, Jerri,
we're gonna be late!
Damn!
You missed me, assassin!
Now I'm gonna go have
sex with my slaves!
[SPITTING]
Hello, I'm Jerri Blank.
32 years ago I dropped
out of high school
and ran away from home.
Oh, I made a lot of friends,
did a lot of time.
I was a boozer,
a user, and a loser.
I stole the TV.
Did some more time.
But now I'm back in school!
And though the faces
may have changed
The hassles are just the same.
Good morning, students.
This is your principal.
All rise
So that you might sit for
my morning announcement.
Number one:
All rise.
All right, sit.
That is all.
Iris, give it a rest.
Oh, I love my little
morning pep talk.
Let's see
"Senate Deadlocked on Bill,"
"The Fed Pushes the Prime,"
"Double-Headed Baby Born to
Single-Breasted Mother
The heads must
fight to feed."
Ah what's this?
"Messianic Cult
Moves to Flatpoint!"
Cult!
I don't like the sound of that.
What kind of maniac would
attempt to control fresh young minds?
Attention!
Iris, hit it!
Harken to my voice!
An insidious cult is intent
on controlling your actions!
I command you
to avoid it at all cost!
That is all.
One more thing.
That is all.
[BELL RINGING]
Hey Jerri!
Pretty spooky about
the cult, huh?
Yeah, I'm terrified.
See me shake?
Damn D.T.S.
Who cares about cults?
You know, they prey
on the friendless
Blah, blah, blah
Hello, ladies,
what are you doin'?
Oh we were just wondering
why you'd come talk to us?
Wanted to know what plans you
had, for Fri, Sat, Sun?
Well, first we're
going to avoid you.
Then after that, we
thought we'd shun you,
and then we're going to a party!
Hey why don't you
not come with us!
[GROAN]
What are you looking at, bongo?
You know what else the cults do?
Again with the cults?
They prey on the weak-minded.
Hey, Jerri, eat this!
What is it?
It's a scab!
Ha ha ha ha!
Again?
Boy, am I simple.
What were you saying, Orlando?
Nothing, I'll see you Monday.
Wha I thought we were
hanging out this weekend?
I can't I'm helping my uncle
stock our church with
water and firearms.
Scab.
[GROAN]
Oh Jerri, I didn't know you
were coming home this early.
We would have left sooner.
Where are we going?
Well, if by "we,"
you mean Derrick and I,
then the answer is a family
"Get Away Weekend"
to Goodtime Island!
Goodtime Island!
Oh, didn't I remember
not to tell you?
DERRICK: Check it out, troll.
All access pass
with full release!
Full release! I'll
go pack my things!
Oh I'm sorry, Jerri.
You know, the car only
has room for four,
and we've already got two!
So if you get hungry
Uh, eat something.
Unnnnn!
Come on, Derrick!
Unnnnh
Unnnnnh
Unhh!
I've got the whole
place to myself!
Ha! I'll
show them!
I'm gonna have a party!
I'm gonna call
all my friends and
Yeah friends.
I know I'll feed my baby.
Oh, that's right.
My baby is an imaginary creation
to fight the ravages
of loneliness.
I'll go to the mall.
[SPLASH]
Watch out.
Hey!
[SPLASH]
Hi.
Hi!
The girl with the nice can.
Are you alone?
Not really.
I just don't have any family
or friends that care about me.
Do you need a friend
to care about you?
Yeah!
Well, how did you know?
Because I can tell that
you care about people.
Hey!
[SPLASH]
Look, I sprayed the guy
in the wheelchair
with my grape sodie!
My name is Rebecca.
What's yours, Jerri?
Jerri.
What's yours, Rebecca?
Rebecca.
What are you doing this weekend?
You're lookin' at it.
Well, I'm driving to a place
where there'll be hugging and
singing and a lot
of people being friendly.
Why don't you come with me?
You really want me
to come with you?
Yes.
I can't wait for you
to meet Father.
Wait a minute, what
kinda place is this?
Oh, it's just a
collective cooperative
community service operation
outreach program project.
Okay, as long as
you're not a cult.
Jesus! Let's go! [SPLASH]
Nice ride!
Maybe we could park
along the way
Know what I mean?
I don't think there's
time, Jerri.
Hey, everyone, this is Jerri!
ALL:
Hallelujah, Jerri!
You look like a
bunch of zombies!
Ha ha ha ha ha!
Get in!
I'm gonna sit
at the welcome table ♪
sing about it ♪
I'm gonna sit at the welcome
table one of these days ♪
hallelujah ♪
I'm gonna sit
at the welcome table ♪
gonna sit at the welcome table
one of these days ♪
I'm gonna sit
at the welcome table ♪
sing about it ♪
I'm gonna sit at the welcome
table one of these days ♪
hallelujah ♪
I'm gonna sit
at the welcome table
gonna sit at the welcome
table one of these days ♪
I'm gonna sit
at the welcome table ♪
sing about it ♪
I'm gonna sit at the welcome
table one of these days ♪
hallelujah ♪
I'm gonna sit at
the welcome table ♪
gonna sit at the welcome
table one of these days ♪
[SONG CONTINUES]
Boy, you people sure
are fond of that ditty.
So where are we?
I must've fallen
asleep after you
slipped me those pills
and put on that blindfold.
This is Safe Trap House.
Where is that?
Right here!
Where is right here?
Safe Trap House, silly!
Ughmmm!
You're a yum-yum.
C'mon, Jerri, let's
go inside forever.
What is it that
you people do here?
Sing a little,
eat a little fudge,
and surrender our wills
to an Oriental messiah.
Hmmm, eat a little fudge?
I don't know,
maybe I should head home.
Home to what, Jerri?
A family that doesn't care
and friends that don't love you?
Well, technically,
it's my friends
that don't care
and my family
that doesn't love me.
Jerri, this may be your
first last best chance
to have any hope
for a fresh start
at a new beginning for
the first time again.
There's going to be
a lot of hugging
Hmmmm I'm in.
sit at the welcome
table one of these days ♪
hallelujah ♪
I'm gonna sit at
the welcome table ♪
gonna sit at the welcome table
one of these days ♪
Oooh, boy, am I exhausted.
Seriously, you people really
need to learn a new song.
I'll bet you know a lot
of great songs, Jerri!
Oh, plenty.
I remember this was this one
song about a welcome table
and people liked to
sit at it
This is where we'll be
sleeping tonight, Jerri.
We?
As in you
and we?
Yeeeeess.
Watch your step it's dark.
Take my hand, Bec,
and lead me gently
into the darkness.
Oof!
What was that?
Oh, wow.
We're not alone.
That's cool. I can
swing with that.
Hey, I've been there.
Hey!
Two?
Hmm yeah
It's gonna be a craaazzzy night,
a choo choo train, all aboard
Oh we're
sleeping together.
I thought we were
Sleeping together.
You'll be here,
and I'll be down there!
Good night!
Women.
[LOUD SNORING]
Ah, great.
[SNORES]
[SNORES CONTINUE]
I'm gonna sit
at the welcome table ♪
sing about it ♪
I'm gonna sit at the welcome
table one of these days ♪
hallelujah ♪
I'm gonna sit
at the welcome table ♪
gonna sit at the welcome table
one of these days ♪
Rise and shine, Jerri!
Today is all about you!
I'm gonna sit
at the welcome table ♪
sing about it ♪
I'm gonna sit at the welcome
table one of these days ♪
hallelujah ♪
I'm gonna sit
at the welcome table ♪
gonna sit at the welcome table
one of these days ♪
ALL:
Good morning, Jerri!
Welcome to breakfast!
Take a hike, smiley.
How did you sleep, Jerri?
Alone.
Damn! My muscle's as tight
as a Hebrew's wallet.
Hi! I'm new here,
too, my name's Adam.
Fascinating.
Hey, gramps I'll take some
sausage links, sausage
patties, Canadian bacon,
back bacon, bacon, coffee
black keep it comin'.
Uh, we don't eat
meat here, Jerri.
Only grains
They represent
the essence of God.
Hmm more
good news.
God's a little bland.
Hey, Bec, ya got a bus schedule?
What's wrong, Jerri?
I mean, I like the
hugging and everything,
and all the new friends,
but it gets a little
frustrating when we don't
Kick it up a notch, do
you know what I mean?
[CHORAL SOUNDS]
Ahhh oooo
Father, Father Father,
Father Father, Father
Father, Father Father,
Father Father, Father
Who's that?
Father.
Behold!
The power and
the majesty of faith!
Ahhhhhh!
Amen.
Ah!
Thank you, Bill!
Every morning, my children,
after I float into your midst,
it occurs to me that we
thank God for this food.
But do we ever ask ourselves
Why God?
I have.
And I'll tell ya something,
I can't think of
one good reason.
So from now on
we're going to be thanking me.
ALL:
Thank you, Father!
I thought you said
he was a chink.
No, Jerri
I said his father was
stationed in Korea for a while.
Ooooowwwwaaaaaaya!
When it comes people,
it will happen this fast!
Someone will take
a pitcher of juice and
smash it against the wall.
And then you know
what's gonna happen?
Somebody's gonna have
to clean it up.
Who's that gonna be?
You.
Freaks.
Nice floor show.
Look, Bec,
I don't think this
is working out.
I'll tell you what,
as soon as I pass
what I'm guessing will be a
Memorable stool,
I'm gonna take the first train
out of Planet Zoot,
or wherever you people are from.
Rebecca.
Jerri, this is
"Father," our Father!
Hey, Pops, I'm Jerri Blank.
Who are you?
What are ya, "deef"?
I said, I'm Jerri Blank.
No, that's too easy.
Whooo arrrrre yoooouuuu?
Jer-ree-Blaaaank.
Nice chat, I gotta blow.
Well, goodbye, Jerri Blank.
It'll be a shame to lose
someone as beautiful as you.
Kasa wasa wa?
Isn't she lovely, everyone?
Uhhhhhh
I said isn't she
lovely, everyone?!
ALL:
She's lovely!
You are a gorgeous
creature from God!
Ehhhh, ehhhh
Why should we be blessed
with all this beauty?
No.
Go shine it onto the world!
Go!
I can't leave
She can't leave!
No, it's locked,
the door is locked!
I'm gonna sit at the welcome
table one of these days ♪
hallelujah ♪
sit at the welcome table
one of these days ♪
I'm gonna sit
at the welcome table ♪
Come on, my children,
remember
We're exerting ourselves
for a higher power!
Namely, me!
[SINGING]
Why'd you leave
the Love Line, Jerri?
It's a little tough
on the haunches.
I'm just so tired.
Don't you mean you're just so
Pretty?
C'mon, let's get back in line.
sing about it ♪
I'm gonna sit at the welcome
table one of these days ♪
hallelujah ♪
I'm gonna sit
at the welcome table ♪
gonna sit at the welcome table
one of these days ♪
I'm gonna sit
at the welcome table ♪
sing about it ♪
I'm gonna sit at the welcome
table one of these days ♪
hallelujah ♪
I'm gonna sit
at the welcome table ♪
gonna sit at the welcome ♪
What now, Jerri?
I wanna go home.
Fine.
You're not a prisoner here.
There are no bars
on our electrified fences.
We don't have attack dogs
lurking in the
alligator-infested swamps
surrounding this compound.
Here, call your parents
Have them come pick you up.
That's a sandal.
More distrust, Jerri!
ALL: Trust, love,
beauty, friends, fudge!
Trust, love, beauty,
friends, fudge!
Trust, love,
beauty, friends, fudge!
Trust, love, beauty,
friends, fudge!
Trust, love,
beauty, friends, fudge!
Trust, love, beauty,
friends, fudge!
Trust, love,
beauty, friends, fudge!
Why don't you trust us, Jerri?
Because I think you're trying to
take advantage of my weak mind?
No, we're not, Jerri.
[LIKE ROBOT]
No, you're not, Jerri.
You love it here.
I love it here.
This is a place of
personal fulfillment
and spiritual ecstasy.
This is a
What you just said.
I think you just made a
great breakthrough, Jerri.
She's one of us!
Wheeewwwww!
[SONG BEGINS AGAIN]
You are gonna make a
wonderful heavenly robot!
I think it's time for you to
call someone who cares
about you and tell them
you've got a new home.
Call home
I'm gonna sit at the welcome
table one of these days ♪
hallelujah ♪
I'm gonna sit
at the welcome table ♪
[DIAL TONE]
Mom, don't worry about Jerri.
I'm not.
Yes, you are.
Well, what if I am?!
I'm her step-mother, after all,
and I keep thinking that the
phone is never going to ring
and we're never going
to hear from her anymore.
[PHONE RINGING]
Mom, don't worry, she'll call.
[RING]
I wish I could believe that.
She's my little girl
What if she doesn't come home?
Derrick.
[RING]
Mom, we can't
give up hope, we can't!
I know, honey.
[RING]
Jerri, we're running
out of coins.
I know, I know
I got another idea.
[RING]
Hello, Orlando?
Jerri, where are you?
Everything's fine.
I'm with my new friends
at "Safe Trap House."
Safe Trap House?
Jerri, that's a cult!
Are they holding
you against your will?
No, Orlando.
They're my friends.
If they weren't,
why would they have
offered to wash my brain?
Try to remember who you are.
Remember the old Jerri.
Throwing those bricks
off the overpass?
Burying those
bones by the highway?
Remember that horrible thing
you did to the squirrel?
The squirrel.
Jerri, listen to me!
Get out of there!
Safe Trap House is a cult.
If you don't leave now,
you'll never leave!
You hear me?
It's a cult!
What? I think I would know
if I was in a cult, Orlando.
It's not like they're all
wearing the same colored
Clothes with
wide-eyed stares
Right!
Thanks, Orlando.
I'll take your
advice and stay put.
I certainly wouldn't run away
and expect you to meet me
at the mall with a fast car
and a disguise.
Goodbye, you paranoid person!
Well, who's up for a song?
Huh?
Certainly sounds like
a lot of fun to me!
I'm just gonna walk
over here to these stairs,
and run like hell!
[ALL YELLING]
[VIDEO GAME NOISES]
[GAME]
You missed me, assassin!
I am not a corpse.
Where is she?
Why didn't she
show up last night?
GIRL:
Flowers?
Flowers?
Jerri!
Hey, Jerri!
Jerri! Wha
Jerri!
Jerri!
Oh, I'm sorry. I thought
you were someone else.
Care to buy some
flowers, stranger?
Jerri?
[LIKE ROBOT]
Jerri's dead.
My name is Sycamore.
I gotta go, Orlando
cult's waiting.
I'll catch you later.
Nooooo!
Yes.
I'm gonna sit
at the welcome table ♪
sing about it ♪
I'm gonna sit at the welcome
table one of these days ♪
hallelujah! ♪
I'm gonna sit
at the welcome table ♪
gonna sit at the welcome
table one of these days ♪
I'm gonna sit
at the welcome table ♪
sing about it ♪
I'm gonna sit at the welcome
table one of these days ♪
hallelujah ♪
I'm gonna sit
at the welcome table ♪
gonna sit at the welcome
table one of these days ♪
I'm gonna sit at
the welcome table ♪
sing about it ♪