Stuck in the Middle (2016) s02e08 Episode Script

1 Guys.
Hello! Need a hand here.
It's getting heavy.
Lots of cans.
Oh, hey, Mom, you're home.
Seriously? The sink is running, and the freezer's open.
Wow, that's great.
Did you get the goji berries I asked for? Okay, that's it.
- Devices now.
- What?! Phones, tablet, laptops, hand 'em over.
You guys need to pay attention.
We do pay attention.
Let me know when Mom gets here.
I'm not supposed to be watching this.
She's been under there since last night.
- That's on you.
- See, we all make mistakes.
Don't take away our tech for one mistake.
Really? One mistake? My day? Thanks for asking.
I called Santa Claus, and told him don't bother coming by this Christmas.
Our family's not interested.
I'm really proud of you.
Thank you so much.
You're awesome.
Let's go.
If it's got batteries or a screen, I want it.
Mom, look, wherever you hide them, you know we're gonna find them.
So save some time and let us off with a stern warning.
Good point.
I won't hide them.
I'll wear them.
But I was checking the map to launch my weather balloon.
Today has all the perfect atmospheric conditions.
Nobody wants to have family conversations about that.
- She's right.
- Fine.
- Keep going.
- (sighs) Don't make me frisk you.
Oh, come on.
This one only gets reception behind the dumpster.
Delta Two, aggressive parental unit approaching.
Delta One no! If your dad can go without this on his fishing trip, then we can go without it until 6:00 tomorrow night.
This family needs to disconnect to reconnect.
Two days without technology? So we're being punished? No.
We're gonna stay in this house, and enjoy each other's company.
So we're being punished.
Hey, hey, hey, hey Sometimes it feels like things are outta control Like you're living in a circus Tryin' to figure out your way in the world Where you're at is kinda perfect So turn it up, turn it up Do your thing, don't stop Let the games begin, let's jump right in I wanna get stuck with you In the middle of the party We're just getting started I wanna get stuck with you In the eye of the tornado, rowin' in the same boat I wanna get stuck with you Get stuck in the middle with you I wanna get stuck with you Mom, you cannot do this.
We'll never make it 48 hours without devices.
Look at what it's doing to Rachel.
She's gonna clean? Great.
I just grabbed this sponge because it's the same size as my phone.
It was either this or a bar of soap, and this had less hair on it.
Hey, Mom, you told us to play a real game.
Now, say a guy was sitting on a stash of water bombs filled with No.
Play a board game.
Bored is right.
This is gonna be fun.
I'm gonna make a big family picnic, and tonight, we can eat together outside like we used to.
I'm gonna go and cry into my sponge phone.
But Mom, I can't launch my weather balloon today without checking the atmospheric data online.
Honey, I understood very little of that, but you're gonna be all right.
What's wrong? You're looking right at me.
What's with the eye contact? Mom took away all our devices.
Did you know you have brown eyes? They've always been brown, except for the three times I had pink eye.
Yeah, thanks for sharing that.
Not the story, the pink eye.
Okay, I'm about to say something controversial.
Maybe not having devices isn't the worst thing.
We can go do something fun like we used to.
Or when Mom takes her nap, you can help me steal my laptop back.
You're so desperate, you're going to roll Mom? Are you listening to yourself? Oh, I got it.
We can Double Dutch.
I bet if you get Mom's head, and I get her ankles, we could slide her Come on.
It'll be great.
We used to jump for hours.
Remember how we'd talk and catch up? We're not kids anymore.
Georgie and Harls jumpin' that rope.
(sighs) Georgie and Harls jumpin' that rope.
Spitting out rhymes that are awesome and dope.
Come on.
Okay, our rhymes weren't great, but in our defense, we had only just learned to read.
Post-worthy thought: Ariana Grande is vente in my book.
Oh, that's a good one.
By the time I get my phone back, it'll be so yesterday.
Don't touch me.
I'm not touching you.
Go away.
Why? I'm not touching you.
- Move that finger.
- Why? I'm not touching you.
- Get out of here! - (bell dings) Point, Lewie.
Well played.
Okay, whatever this is, needs to get out of my room.
Congratulations, ma'am.
You've just been pushed BOTH: To the limit! To The Limit, America's favorite family game, made up of pieces from other games.
No electronics? No problem.
First, you spin the wheel to choose a family member.
Then, you annoy them until they snap.
DAPHNE: I'm in here.
- I'm in here! - (glass shatters) Annoy the most people, and you win.
Right now, the score is one to one.
You want in? I want out.
As in you from my room.
But you haven't heard about the fabulous prize package.
In addition to the major bragging rights that comes with winning To The Limit, the loser will do the winner's chores for the entire week.
Does not include cubbies, cars, or toilet cleaning.
Not valid during snow-shoveling season.
All right.
Let's start with Mom.
- Perfect.
- Wait.
No chores, and revenge? Make me one of those ugly necklaces.
This game is on.
BOTH: Yes! Wow, the Robo Roper.
One of the first things you ever invented.
Because I had to.
You, me, and Rachel used to Double Dutch.
But as soon as Rachel discovered boys Wonder if it still works.
All right, Robo Roper! Even when I was ten, I knew to work with quality parts.
Look out.
I'm about to rock this joint.
No! Be glad there's no devices.
That definitely would've been a meme.
Abracadabra! And the card is gone.
It's in your pants.
No one likes a heckler.
And why are you wearing your old Halloween costume? I'm bored.
Same reason you're doing magic.
And only one of us is making it work.
Prepare to be amazed by Hey.
How are you doing that? A dinosaur never reveals its tricks.
Robo Roper's good for stress.
I do not like watercress.
Sorry, Roper.
Our rhymes still stink.
How did you come up with this thing anyway? It's a long story.
We've got two days of no technology.
Spill.
(no audible dialogue) So you no longer like chickpeas, you own a beret, but don't have the courage to wear it, and because you've had fewer cavities than any other Diaz, you think you're winning at teeth.
Hey, don't ask me.
Ask Dr.
Karbatsos.
I can't believe everything I've learned in the last two hours.
I had no idea you've been practicing talking backwards.
Do I what it's.
And you're really good at it.
What did I tell you? It's good to take a break from all that tech.
(text alert chimes) Did you hear that, or am I having some weird kind of withdrawal? - (chimes again) - My phone! I came home late; Mom never took it away.
It's Wyatt.
Moley holy.
You picked that up fast.
"Wanna come to a party with me this weekend?" Oh, this is so exciting! Yes.
Wait.
That sounds too eager.
How do I say yes without saying yes? I've never texted anyone I liked before.
- I'm gonna take a knee and think about it.
- You can't.
He's already seen the bubbles at the bottom of the screen.
He knows you read his text.
The clock is ticking.
Relationships are so hard.
Send an emoji.
They're way better than words.
Rachel speaks 'em better than English.
Yeah, that's good.
I'll send a thumbs up.
Oh, no.
Look what I sent by mistake.
- You sent the poop? - I sent the poop.
Take it back.
Send an embarrassed smile, winky face.
Anything! Tech free, girls.
You, me, everybody.
See, I can bust a rhyme, too.
This is your fault.
You pressured me into a poop.
Mom, hang on.
Don't worry.
I'll figure out a way to get in touch with Wyatt.
Without phones, computers, or the ability to leave the house.
I am in deep poop emoji.
Mom, please let me have my phone back for one second.
I have to explain the poop emoji.
You shouldn't have had your phone in the first place.
Plus, if I let you explain your poop emoji, I have to let everyone explain their poop emojis.
Okay, today's Saturday.
That's when Wyatt plays flag football at the park.
I can make it there in six minutes if I run.
Five if I get aggressive with the slow-moving stroller moms.
Whoa.
No one is leaving the house.
You're going to stay home, and enjoy bonding with each other.
Which is way more fun than I'm making it sound right now.
(ringtone playing) Not that.
Not that.
Not that.
(sighs) Not that.
- (ringtone continues) - Not that.
What am I going to do? Wyatt's going to want to break up with me, and we're not even dating yet.
Oh, we have a land line.
We can call him on this.
Except his phone number's on my phone.
We can look it up.
What's his last name? No idea.
I have him on my phone as "Wyatt Cute.
" Hang on.
I was already working on something that can help, and it's old school.
No technology necessary.
It's a dumbed-down version of my weather balloon.
Perfect for sending a message.
I could kiss your brain right now.
Hey, save it for Wyatt.
RACHEL: Mom, where's something you normally keep by the thing? Rachel, what did I say about you shouting from the other room? Come in here if you wanna talk to me.
I can't hear you.
I'm looking for the thing.
I have no idea what you're talking about.
You're driving me crazy.
Okay, how do you do it? Do you use string? Can't say.
I'd be violating the magicians' code.
If you're the magician, how come she knows all the magic? (scoffs) I know magic.
Watch.
Who wants to see a flower? Abracadabra.
(snickers) (scoffs) (nervous giggle) Abracadabra.
(snickering) Amazing.
You made nothing happen.
A flower is supposed to come out.
Maybe give Daphne a try.
No.
Look, I'm the magician.
Not the right time, flower.
You want me to share trade secrets? Let me be the magician.
Then who's gonna be the assistant? Oh.
"Wyatt, I meant thumbs up, not poop.
" Brilliant.
We'll send this over to the park.
Wyatt will see it, and know you wanna go to that party.
Pretty genius.
- Made it.
- You rock.
I think I can predict your forecast for tomorrow.
Bright and sunny with a 100% chance of going to a party.
Oh, yes! Today's contest has been an exciting one.
What more can you expect from America's favorite family game, To The Limit? Who won? Are you guys doing my chores or what? Well, before we get to the score, I just wanted to say that I am very proud of each and every one of you.
We've annoyed a lot of people today.
- Lewie, what are you - Lewie, what are you? - Why are you - Why are you? - Cut it out.
- Cut it out.
- I said cut it.
- I said cut it! BOTH: Stop repeating everything I say! Hey, Dad, say I got a really small tattoo.
In my book, we're all winners.
But because there can only be one, the winner is It's a tie.
It's great we sent that message, but how can we be sure he got it? Okay, I'm about to say something controversial.
Maybe not having devices isn't the worst thing.
This is fun, hanging out with you.
Sweet that's, Harley.
Best the you're.
Now we're speaking the same language.
Dutch Double? As long as we don't have to backwards rhyme.
Wyatt, you got our message! Unless there's someone else who's trying to tell me poop emoji was supposed to be thumbs up.
I sent you the wrong emoji by mistake.
I couldn't explain because my mom took away my phone.
That's why we sent it to the park.
The park? I saw it hanging off the satellite dish at the rib place I came out of.
Still calling it a win.
Whoa.
What's with crank hands? Oh, that? Just some silly Double Dutch machine we used to play with when we were little.
It's nothing.
Double Dutch, huh? Can I give it a shot? Of course.
You'll be in the middle.
Harley, move.
You're a natural! What can I say? Got a couple of sisters at home.
Wow.
This is a workout.
Harley, could you get Wyatt some water? Thanks.
Did you see that? I just got iced out of my own game.
And I invited the icer.
Robo Roper's not the only dummy here.
Georgie and me jumpin' to the beat.
Finally solved the riddle of the poop emoji.
Aw, that's so cute.
So cute.
So, Wyatt, you got a couple of sisters at home.
You probably wanna spend some quality time with them while you can.
Dutching here, Harley.
I'm so glad for that satellite dish.
You coming over is my favorite wish.
I've seen that sappy look before.
On Rachel.
I had no idea Georgie would turn out to be just as boy-crazy.
Well, you know what they say.
If you love something, set it free.
On the other hand, in a big family, if you love something, grab it before somebody else takes it.
It's the last cookie principle.
What are you doing? Double Dutching with my sister.
What are you doing? Do I have to be in here? The assistant always gets in the box.
- Now, where's Dad's hand saw? - What?! No, Daphne, you cannot saw your brother in half.
Stupid tie.
I can't believe I wasted my whole day doing this, when I could've been stockpiling post-worthy thoughts.
I've actually annoyed myself.
Unfortunately, you don't get a piece of pie for that in BOTH: To The Limit.
Wow, that got old fast.
The rules say that every Diaz can only be hit once.
That means there's no way to break the tie.
Hey! Check out Jump Rope Johnny.
RACHEL: Ooh, there's our tie-breaker.
This'll be fun.
Harley's got a big family.
Go find them and don't bug me.
He's the one who's jumping rope, when Harley helped you find this guy.
Uh, seems like you two have some stuff to work out.
Oh Harley can't make Wyatt go.
This is not the Harley show.
I heard you play flag football.
Is that because you're scared of tackle? And about that haircut.
It looks like BEAST: Incoming! Hit him with the chocolate syrup.
Get him! Ketchup bomb.
Got him! BOTH: Yeah! - I should go.
- Wyatt, no! This is all just a big mistake.
- Lewie, Beast, stop.
- Yes! Or maybe they're gunning for you.
LEWIE AND BEAST: Yeah!! SUZY: Seriously? Lewie, Beast, I am this close - to letting Daphne saw you both in half.
- Yes! You've got a little I wanted to say mustard, but it might be nacho cheese on your back.
You want me to hose you off? No, thanks.
You already hosed me once today.
I mean, what was that? I expect that kind of crazy from Lewie and Beast, but but you? Look, I overreacted.
But seeing the way you were with Wyatt really threw me.
You remember why I invented the Robo Roper in the first place.
I was afraid what happened with Rachel would happen with you, too.
But I know that's no excuse.
I acted like a jerk.
I'm really sorry.
Sorry, too, what can I say? Guess I just got carried away.
Even if I have a mister, no one can replace my sister.
Does anyone know where the ketchup is? Over here.
Throw me your bread; I'll wipe some for you.
All right, we're done here.
I'm ordering pizza.
- Yes! - Yes! We've spent some quality time together, and after one day without devices, our yard is destroyed.
After two, we won't have a house.
Have at 'em.
LEWIE: Finally! No.
Sorry, boys.
You get yours after you're done hosing down the entire backyard.
HARLEY: Even in a big family, you can be in the same house without actually being together.
But when you stop and take the time, a funny thing happens.
You guys definitely made today a lot less annoying.
You remember what you liked about being together in the first place.
Finally.
I can look up how that trick is done.
Static electricity.
I'll show you.
What about the magicians' code? Eh.
You're family.
Wyatt texted me.
He still wants me to go to that party.
Text him back right now.
You know what? It can wait.
Turns out, sometimes you need less to have more.
(all chatting and laughing) It's like Mom said.
You gotta disconnect to reconnect.