Superman (1996) s02e08 Episode Script
Mxyzpixilated
McGurk! McGurk! Where are you? Look at that crazy little man.
He'll be killed.
Hey, McGurk, I'm losing my patience here! Confusing, ain't it? What's so funny, Jimmy? Check out the new comic strip.
-What a riot.
-Mr.
Mixel-plick? No! Repeat after me, bright boy.
It's mix, "yezz" spit, lick.
Hey, have you seen McGurk? McGurk! Hold it.
-Did you see him? -Who? That weird little man.
He was right here.
Yeah.
Do me a favor, Kent.
Crack up after we've covered the museum opening.
-And now we are proud to present-- -McGurk! Oh, no.
This classic sculpture by one of the world's most noted artists.
McGurk! Where are you, McGurk? Come on, it's getting late.
How do you like that guy? Standing me up like this.
-Be quiet.
-Listen, you-- What is he doing here? If we may continue? And here now at last the showpiece of our exhibit: Rodin's Thinker.
That's him! Hey, McGurk.
Finish your business and let's get going.
Oh, sorry, Mix.
Hold it right there, little friend.
I want some answers.
McGurk, get rid of this bum.
You heard my pal.
Scram! If that's the way you wanna play it.
Superman? He's ruined the statue! I didn't mean-- Sorry.
It was the little man.
It's been going on all week.
Impossible things keep happening and I'm the only one who ever sees them.
Am I going nuts? Oh, Clark, I'm sure it's not as bad as that.
I can't go on being Superman if I keep flipping out.
Now, take it easy, son.
There's a perfectly logical explanation for all this.
Yes.
It's obvious a brilliant, godlike life form from a dimension twice removed from ours is testing your powers.
What makes you say that? That's not important, Clark.
What really matters is following through with a nice firm peck when scratching up corn.
Ma? Pa? No.
Chickens are always funny.
Though personally, I prefer ducks.
Or ostriches.
Or just for the sake of novelty.
I've never seen those before.
Bring them back.
Do it! Take it easy.
The folks are okay.
We'll just put them up there for safekeeping.
-Who are you? -Like Mummy said I'm a superior being from the fifth dimension.
What do you want with me? Laughs.
You see, for centuries now I've been pitting my interdimensional magic against schmoes who thought they could go 1 5 rounds with the old master.
You know the stories about genies, imps and leprechauns? -You? -Guilty.
After a while, I became bored with your basic rank-and-file human dolts but then you showed up.
Superman! You, my friend, are the ultimate challenge.
We're gonna have many merry games, you and l.
A game has rules.
Your stunts are just random idiocy.
Okay, I'll give you a rule.
You make me say, spell or otherwise reveal my name backwards and I'll split until our dimensions come into alignment again in about, oh, three months, give or take.
I can't even say your name forward.
How am I supposed to say it backward? No, dope.
You don't have to say it backward.
You have to get me to say it.
-Say what? -Kltpzyxm! Gosh, you're thick.
Now, for the last time-- Nuts.
Clark? Dear? Did something just happen? No.
What's for dinner? Hi, guy.
Your three months are up and this time you're not gonna cheat me out of my fun.
Oh, it's you again, Mr.
Kltpzyxm.
Not Kltpzyxm, Mxyzptlk.
Now, the first thing I'm gonna do-- Oh, nuts.
You think you're pretty smart, don't you? Look, little guy.
I'm tired of this.
If it's a fight you want-- Oh, it is.
It is.
Fine.
But first let me proofread this article and I'll meet you on the roof -in 20 minutes.
-No stalling.
I'll edit the rag for you.
There.
Hey.
What? No! You're getting sloppy, Smallville.
This sentence is loaded with typos.
"K, L, T, P, Z.
" Nuts! Nuts! Nuts! He beat you again, huh? Don't start with me, Gsptlsnz! I've only got 90 days until my next bout with that caped clod.
How does he do it? -Mxy, I wore this new outfit just for you.
-No time for love, babe.
Gotta beat Superman.
Gotta beat Superman.
Oh, Mxy, I don't like the way you're obsessing over this Superman person.
Using our powers to torment humans is so three-dimensional.
Got to beat Superman! If he upsets you that much, why don't you just -oh, I don't know, destroy him.
-Hey, that's it.
Next time I'll finish him off before he can trick me.
Thanks, Gspie.
Love you.
Yeah, yeah.
Lucky me.
Now you're gonna get it.
Oh, yeah.
You'll be crying early today, boy.
Bye, Gspie.
Don't wait up.
Five, four, three-- Nuts! Nuts! Nuts! Not one word.
Don't you look happy.
What's wrong? Bad news? You could say that.
I'm expecting a visitor from out of town.
Guy's kind of a pest, is he? The worst.
I hear you.
Every time my sister visits she just moves right on in and stays and stays and-- Was that a penguin? I'm afraid so.
Here we go.
Wow, look at all the animals.
This is really weird.
You're fast, kiddo.
Hiya, Super.
Looks like you've joined the horsy set.
What's it gonna take to get rid of you? Forever.
You always trick me into doing that name thing once but this time you're going to have to make me do it twice in a row.
Which means I can say Kltpzyxm all I want as long as I break it, Kltpzyxm, up.
If you beat me, then I'm history.
Gone, finito.
Bye-bye.
But if I win.
I got me a new stableboy.
Deal? Whatever you want.
I quit.
You don't mean it? Oh, yes, I do.
Shut off the lights when you're done, will you? Hey, hey.
You can't just walk out.
If you do, your friends will stay mindless beasts.
They don't seem to mind.
Don't get tough with me, little boy blue.
If you don't cooperate, I'll tell the world your secret.
Blab your head off.
I'll find another disguise.
You can't outfly me.
-Watch me.
-Oh, yeah? Banzai! No fair.
You wanna play hardball? Fine! Hey, Super, get a load of me.
The ultimate smart bomb, complete with a Kryptonite warhead.
Good try, blue, but not good enough.
What's the matter, Super? Feeling the heat? I won! I won! In your face, Superman.
No, loser.
In yours.
Oh, shoot my monkey.
I skywrote my own name.
Backwards.
-Twice.
-You were just toying with me the whole time.
Even from the start.
Pretty much, yeah.
Never had you fooled for a second.
-Sorry.
-You were the superior being all along.
-Well.
-And now I'm gone.
Gone forever.
You look happy.
What's up? I was expecting a visitor from out of town, but he can't make it.
-The guy's kind of a pest, is he? -Not anymore.
Guests are the worst.
Every time my sister visits, she just moves right on in and stays and stays and.
Why am I eating this? Oh, you.
You.
I'm not done with you.
Not by a long shot.
I'll find a loophole.
Somehow, someday! You know, now that you're stuck here you'll just have to find some other way to pass the time.
Hey, this isn't so bad.
[ENGLlSH.]
He'll be killed.
Hey, McGurk, I'm losing my patience here! Confusing, ain't it? What's so funny, Jimmy? Check out the new comic strip.
-What a riot.
-Mr.
Mixel-plick? No! Repeat after me, bright boy.
It's mix, "yezz" spit, lick.
Hey, have you seen McGurk? McGurk! Hold it.
-Did you see him? -Who? That weird little man.
He was right here.
Yeah.
Do me a favor, Kent.
Crack up after we've covered the museum opening.
-And now we are proud to present-- -McGurk! Oh, no.
This classic sculpture by one of the world's most noted artists.
McGurk! Where are you, McGurk? Come on, it's getting late.
How do you like that guy? Standing me up like this.
-Be quiet.
-Listen, you-- What is he doing here? If we may continue? And here now at last the showpiece of our exhibit: Rodin's Thinker.
That's him! Hey, McGurk.
Finish your business and let's get going.
Oh, sorry, Mix.
Hold it right there, little friend.
I want some answers.
McGurk, get rid of this bum.
You heard my pal.
Scram! If that's the way you wanna play it.
Superman? He's ruined the statue! I didn't mean-- Sorry.
It was the little man.
It's been going on all week.
Impossible things keep happening and I'm the only one who ever sees them.
Am I going nuts? Oh, Clark, I'm sure it's not as bad as that.
I can't go on being Superman if I keep flipping out.
Now, take it easy, son.
There's a perfectly logical explanation for all this.
Yes.
It's obvious a brilliant, godlike life form from a dimension twice removed from ours is testing your powers.
What makes you say that? That's not important, Clark.
What really matters is following through with a nice firm peck when scratching up corn.
Ma? Pa? No.
Chickens are always funny.
Though personally, I prefer ducks.
Or ostriches.
Or just for the sake of novelty.
I've never seen those before.
Bring them back.
Do it! Take it easy.
The folks are okay.
We'll just put them up there for safekeeping.
-Who are you? -Like Mummy said I'm a superior being from the fifth dimension.
What do you want with me? Laughs.
You see, for centuries now I've been pitting my interdimensional magic against schmoes who thought they could go 1 5 rounds with the old master.
You know the stories about genies, imps and leprechauns? -You? -Guilty.
After a while, I became bored with your basic rank-and-file human dolts but then you showed up.
Superman! You, my friend, are the ultimate challenge.
We're gonna have many merry games, you and l.
A game has rules.
Your stunts are just random idiocy.
Okay, I'll give you a rule.
You make me say, spell or otherwise reveal my name backwards and I'll split until our dimensions come into alignment again in about, oh, three months, give or take.
I can't even say your name forward.
How am I supposed to say it backward? No, dope.
You don't have to say it backward.
You have to get me to say it.
-Say what? -Kltpzyxm! Gosh, you're thick.
Now, for the last time-- Nuts.
Clark? Dear? Did something just happen? No.
What's for dinner? Hi, guy.
Your three months are up and this time you're not gonna cheat me out of my fun.
Oh, it's you again, Mr.
Kltpzyxm.
Not Kltpzyxm, Mxyzptlk.
Now, the first thing I'm gonna do-- Oh, nuts.
You think you're pretty smart, don't you? Look, little guy.
I'm tired of this.
If it's a fight you want-- Oh, it is.
It is.
Fine.
But first let me proofread this article and I'll meet you on the roof -in 20 minutes.
-No stalling.
I'll edit the rag for you.
There.
Hey.
What? No! You're getting sloppy, Smallville.
This sentence is loaded with typos.
"K, L, T, P, Z.
" Nuts! Nuts! Nuts! He beat you again, huh? Don't start with me, Gsptlsnz! I've only got 90 days until my next bout with that caped clod.
How does he do it? -Mxy, I wore this new outfit just for you.
-No time for love, babe.
Gotta beat Superman.
Gotta beat Superman.
Oh, Mxy, I don't like the way you're obsessing over this Superman person.
Using our powers to torment humans is so three-dimensional.
Got to beat Superman! If he upsets you that much, why don't you just -oh, I don't know, destroy him.
-Hey, that's it.
Next time I'll finish him off before he can trick me.
Thanks, Gspie.
Love you.
Yeah, yeah.
Lucky me.
Now you're gonna get it.
Oh, yeah.
You'll be crying early today, boy.
Bye, Gspie.
Don't wait up.
Five, four, three-- Nuts! Nuts! Nuts! Not one word.
Don't you look happy.
What's wrong? Bad news? You could say that.
I'm expecting a visitor from out of town.
Guy's kind of a pest, is he? The worst.
I hear you.
Every time my sister visits she just moves right on in and stays and stays and-- Was that a penguin? I'm afraid so.
Here we go.
Wow, look at all the animals.
This is really weird.
You're fast, kiddo.
Hiya, Super.
Looks like you've joined the horsy set.
What's it gonna take to get rid of you? Forever.
You always trick me into doing that name thing once but this time you're going to have to make me do it twice in a row.
Which means I can say Kltpzyxm all I want as long as I break it, Kltpzyxm, up.
If you beat me, then I'm history.
Gone, finito.
Bye-bye.
But if I win.
I got me a new stableboy.
Deal? Whatever you want.
I quit.
You don't mean it? Oh, yes, I do.
Shut off the lights when you're done, will you? Hey, hey.
You can't just walk out.
If you do, your friends will stay mindless beasts.
They don't seem to mind.
Don't get tough with me, little boy blue.
If you don't cooperate, I'll tell the world your secret.
Blab your head off.
I'll find another disguise.
You can't outfly me.
-Watch me.
-Oh, yeah? Banzai! No fair.
You wanna play hardball? Fine! Hey, Super, get a load of me.
The ultimate smart bomb, complete with a Kryptonite warhead.
Good try, blue, but not good enough.
What's the matter, Super? Feeling the heat? I won! I won! In your face, Superman.
No, loser.
In yours.
Oh, shoot my monkey.
I skywrote my own name.
Backwards.
-Twice.
-You were just toying with me the whole time.
Even from the start.
Pretty much, yeah.
Never had you fooled for a second.
-Sorry.
-You were the superior being all along.
-Well.
-And now I'm gone.
Gone forever.
You look happy.
What's up? I was expecting a visitor from out of town, but he can't make it.
-The guy's kind of a pest, is he? -Not anymore.
Guests are the worst.
Every time my sister visits, she just moves right on in and stays and stays and.
Why am I eating this? Oh, you.
You.
I'm not done with you.
Not by a long shot.
I'll find a loophole.
Somehow, someday! You know, now that you're stuck here you'll just have to find some other way to pass the time.
Hey, this isn't so bad.
[ENGLlSH.]