The Boondocks s02e08 Episode Script
Shinin
[?.]
What's good with you, Earth? This is your boy, Thugnificent, representing Terra-Belle, Georgia, you know? Lethal Interjection moving next to your home.
Check the chain, nigga.
I know y'all love my music, and love my videos and shit, but be fully prepared to drink hella Haterade, nigga.
'Cause y'all about to see how good it is to be me and how bad it is to be you.
We got plenty of ho's bending, we got 24's spinning.
It's Thugnificent's crib, nigga.
Let's roll.
I like to give haters something to hate right when they get to the door, nigga.
WOMAN: Ding dong.
Not nobody do it like this here, nigga.
We do it real grande around here, man.
Ain't nobody got one of these: A doorbell with real bitches singing the notes.
Ding dong.
That's right, nigga.
Whore-bells.
[LAUGHING.]
Yeah, you know, I believe in investing in the arts.
And I believe in investing in myself.
Now, this shit right here, this is some old John Woo shit, nigga, from the movie Killer.
Know what I'm saying? That's me, though.
You mad? You hating, my nigga? Well, it's hard not to, nigga.
Ha-ha! You might wanna send your lady out of the room for this next one, man.
She about to look at you like a serious disappointment.
A living room with a motherfucking Jacuzzi, nigga.
Oh, but there's more, my nigga.
This is the straw that breaks the haters' camel's back, nigga.
I got Hulks on tap, nigga.
Observe.
[?.]
Shit.
This one nigga came through here with his bitch.
Left with a case of hate poisoning, nigga.
You know what I'm saying? Hey, Flo.
Tell 'em about that nigga that got his spirits crushed by the diamonds and shit.
He killed hisself, took his own life and shit, you know? Suicide note was some shit about his ex-girlfriend and all of that.
We all knew that the shit was about the diamonds and the rubies and the Jacuzzi.
Now, this aquatic adventure park is especially for y'all niggas out there with your little inground pools, diving boards or whatever.
Step your pool game up, nigga.
We slide down with ours.
You know what I'm saying? Your bitch does.
[LAUGHING.]
Now, this right here is what I like to call my bitch tank, and this bitch is Debbie.
Y'all broke niggas keep buying fish food if you want.
Hey, don't sweat it, homey.
'Cause when it's time to show the world how the broke niggas live, maybe MTV will come to your house, and it'll be your turn to shine, but until then, tell your moms to get off my dick, nigga.
And get the hell up out of here, bitches.
I am the stone The builder refused I am the visual The inspiration That made lady Sing the blues I'm the spark That makes your idea bright The same spark That lights the dark So that you can know Left from right I am the ballot in your box The bullet in the gun The inner glow That lets you know To call your brother sun The story that just begun The promise Of what's to come And I'm 'a remain a soldier Till the war is won Won Chop, chop, chop Judo flip Chop, chop, chop Judo flip Chop, chop, chop Judo flip Chop, chop, chop THUGNIFICENT: To being on Cribs.
The fulfillment of a lifelong dream of the last six or seven years.
RILEY: It was a big day for my homey, Thugnificent, being on Cribs and all.
I love to see my niggas on TV shinin', 'cause when they shine, I shine.
Sort of.
Goddamn.
Could somebody tell me what time it is? What's wrong with your watch? The sun is reflecting all this ice.
I can't see a thing.
Man, get the fuck out of here.
No, for real, nigga.
Look.
Oh, shit.
Damn, man.
Flo, you got your stunna shades? Yeah.
Put the motherfuckers on, nigga.
Tell me what time it is.
Damn, nigga.
It's 2:30.
Hey.
The doorbell girl was wondering if you're expecting more company, because she can stay if you want, but in 20 minutes it's gonna be time and a half.
Time and a half? Hell no.
Send that bitch home.
Mack, the ho's are supposed to be here at noon.
What the fuck? Man, Quinten just texted me.
He say the ho's is en route.
Quinten's ho's is always en route.
They ain't never in here.
Damn.
We might as well be working at Kinko's.
Hey, Thugnificent, I'm taking off.
Just wanted to say thanks for the opportunity.
It was great.
Hey.
Why don't you stay and kick it with us? Hey, hey.
You sure you gotta leave? Sorry.
My boyfriend's here.
He wanted to meet you so bad, but he's gotta get back to work at Kinko's, so bye.
Hey, did you want the water slide to keep going? Because it is getting expensive.
I mean, it's your money.
I'm all, like, it's- Whatever.
No.
No, cut it off.
Shut it off! [FAUCET SQUEAKING.]
[SQUEAKING, MAN SCREAMING.]
My ass! Hey! Who turned off the motherfucking water?! Stomp 'em in the nuts We'll stomp 'em in the nuts We'll stomp 'em in the nuts.
I'm 'a Hey, guys.
What I got to do to become a member of Lethal Interjection? Man, you wanna be down with us? You're talking about joining a family.
This crew is made up of niggas.
I've known my whole life, shorty.
Except Flonominal and Macktastic, who I met through the label, but we're like brothers though.
Lethal Interjections is about rags to bitches, nigga.
Man, I'm about rags to bitches too.
It's about getting paper, my nigga.
Now, you know I'm all about getting my paper.
Come on, man, you gots to let me in the crew.
Now, Riley, I want you to know that even though we doin' it real grand, if this rap shit don't work, we running up in nigga's houses.
You know what I mean? For real.
Better believe that.
We're gonna be hittin' the streets, son, moving mad rock all day, selling that real heavy drug shit.
MAN: Know what I mean? All day, son.
Or we be flipping them burgers at Wendy's, my nigga.
You know what I mean? With fries and shit.
I'll do whatever.
Shakes, all that.
Extra ketchup.
"You need some napkins?" You feel me? What the fuck is you-? What the fuck was that? I'm sorry, man.
THUGNIFICENT: Shut the fuck up.
I wasn't thinking about it when I did it.
I- I should've said, like, Burger King.
Let's just go to the initiation.
The first test is the agreeability test.
Before you are a member of the team, we have to make sure you share my Thugnificent taste and sensibilities.
[RAP MUSIC PLAYING.]
Ho-ho, shit, nigga.
That motherfucker's banging.
You hear that bass line? It's blazing, son.
That shit is incredible, kid.
I mean, it's hot-hot, but you know me.
I would just turn up the bass a little higher in the monitor Fuck you, nigga.
Nobody give a fuck what your dumb ass think.
Give me this motherfucker.
Get your ass out of here, hook-ass nigga.
MAN 1: Tired of this.
MAN 2: Punk-ass, pussy-ass nigga.
Get the fuck out of here with that bullshit.
MAN 1: Beat it.
MAN 2: Nigga.
[CLANGS.]
Anyway, Riley, what do you think? Uh, I think it sounds really good.
Are you sure you like it? 'Cause if you wanna be down with the Lethal Interjection crew, you got to really think it sounds good.
I do.
How good? Uh, real good? Okay, you passed.
Next is a test of courage.
[?.]
[ENGINE REVVING.]
[TIRES SCREECH.]
[GRUNTS.]
Yeah, yeah.
ALL: Yeah.
Oh, hey, shorty.
[ALL TALKING INDISTINCTLY.]
You got it, nigga.
Get on and do that thing.
Yeah, yeah, my niggas.
What up, dog? What, what, what? [GASPS.]
[SCREAMING.]
[THUDS.]
[CREW SHOUTING.]
[GROANS.]
MAN 1: Yeah.
Hey! MAN 2: Do that shit.
Yeah! I see you, homey.
Go ahead, nigga.
Ride it out, nigga.
The third test is a test of intelligence.
Find a way to get some ho's over here.
[ALL LAUGH.]
MAN: Do it, man.
Yeah, good luck with that one.
I can get ho's over here.
What y'all niggas know about MySpace? Uh, wait.
Yo, word to mother, I heard about this shit.
You know what I mean? I know a lot of girls on MySpace.
I mean, I don't pay much attention to 'em though, 'cause I be's all about my paper.
Yo, you talking to girls your age, or grown-up girls and shit? Man, grown up.
They got little pictures of each one too so you can see what they look like.
And you can reach these ho's and tell 'em to come over and get bucked-naked? Yep, yep.
How many? I don't know.
About a hundred, 110 thousand.
[ALL GASP.]
MAN: Damn.
RILEY: See, this search engine hooks it up so that I can find all the ho's in a 50-mile radius that are fans of your music.
Hey, yo, dog.
You're like a motherfucking computer genius and shit- Oh, wait.
Goddamn.
Want me to ask them to come over? [WOMEN LAUGHING.]
MACK: Say, baby girl.
Hey, boo, check it out.
Come holler at a pimp one time with your fine yellow ass.
Come here.
Let me holler at you.
WOMAN: Uh-uh.
Well, fuck you then, bitch.
Bucket-mouth ho.
Well? Not bad for short notice.
So- So am I in the crew? Do I get a chain? Come back tomorrow, partner.
Yeah, yeah.
[?.]
I'm gonna get a chain.
Oh, of course.
Now I get it.
Huey, you not a real nigga like me, see.
You don't understand how bad a nigga need a chain.
If I had a chain, everything in my life would be perfect.
Well, what happened to the chain that Aunt Cookie bought you? [?.]
Nigga, you know that wasn't no chain.
That was a necklace.
This'll be a real chain.
Ooh-hoo.
Man.
I can't wait for niggas to start hating.
I can't wait.
So you judge your success by the amount of ill will you generate from those around you? Hey, if niggas ain't mad at you, then you doin' something wrong.
By that definition, then, you have a very bright future.
Thanks, man.
THUGNIFICENT: Having been shown to be a nigga of impeccable character, I do hereby announce that Riley Freeman is officially part of the Lethal Interjection crew.
All the hate and envy that I've collected with this chain over the years will now transfer to you.
Now, just remember what you represent when you have it on, and be proud of it.
There isn't a single member of the Lethal Interjection crew that isn't ready to die for his chain, nigga.
MAN: Uh, no, not me.
Uh-uh.
Well No thanks.
except for Leonard.
But he's bitch-made.
Your chain, my nigga.
Your chain.
Yeah.
[RAP SONG PLAYING.]
Whoo I done came up Yeah Got my name up ? So when they speak Of who blinged up I'm who they bring up Come up dissing And you'll come up missing I'm a cutthroat baller Like O.
J.
Simpson Little homey, listen, Try and serve me I'll put a .
25 in your back Like Barry Bonds serves you On the streets Or on the beat Y'all ain't able 'Cause true artists Or rappers Like major labels What's with the ice cream Homey, change your face 'Cause he done Do more to tan you Than to change your race Girls love Metaphor And I love them back Addicted to gettin' head Chicks call me the brainiac Battle rap with words War like jihad Like dope 'fore crack My notepad be rehab Both y'all see these You can't See these or touch these Rhymes so chronic, my songs Give you the munchies [GROANS.]
[BOY LAUGHS MENACINGLY.]
[?.]
RILEY: As soon as I woke up, I knew who took my chain.
Butch Magnus Milosevic.
Butch Magnus? Crazy Butch Magnus? Ha.
Something's wrong with that kid.
The most fucked-up child I've ever met in my life.
My long-ass, sorry, motherfucking goddamn life.
Butch Magnus? Awful, terrible human.
It makes me sick to think of him.
I'm gonna vomit now.
RILEY: Otherwise known as "One-Punch" Butch.
He like to jack you first, and then ask for your shit all after the fact.
What kind of sandwich is this? [GRUNTS.]
What are you listening to? Let me ride your bike real quick, bitch.
Last year, Butch was expelled from the Jesus, Mary and Joseph Academy for Boys for assaulting a nun.
[GRUNTS.]
Give me this shit.
[GASPS, SCREAMING.]
[GRUNTS.]
He even made it on one of them Maury Povich episodes, where they send them kids to boot camp.
You listen to me, you fat turd.
I'm not your mama, and I'm not gonna [SCREAMING, GRUNTS.]
[WHIMPERS.]
[?.]
Uh-oh.
Looks like someone caught a beat-down.
Ain't nobody catch no beat-down.
I got snuck by this bully, Butch Magnus.
He sucker-punched me.
Hm? A bully, huh? There's only one way to deal with bullies.
You gotta stand up to him.
I remember when I was young, there was one bully, big dude.
I forget his name.
Anyway, he used to pick on anybody.
Steal your bike, your chain.
And one day I had enough.
And I confronted him.
And I had a gun.
But I didn't want to use my gun.
Back in my day, we fought with our hands.
Deebo, that was his name.
Deebo.
Big, old, ugly dude.
And- And I had a friend named Smokey.
And then I grabbed myself a brick- Granddad, you didn't live that.
That's from that movie, Friday.
Oh, yeah.
Heh-heh-heh.
Well, the lesson is still the same.
Uh, wait, what was the question? BOY: Dude, that is really sweet.
That's like a sweet piece of RILEY: Hey.
Bitch Magnus.
BOY 2: Uh-oh.
What did you call me? I called you a bitch, 'cause you's a bitch.
What, you thought I wouldn't come see you? Thought you wouldn't get the taste smacked out of your mouth for trying to jack young Reezy.
You better fall back, nigga.
You can't beat me.
I'm Butch Magnus.
[SCREAMS.]
You real good when you come out of nowhere and sucker punch.
Why don't you fight a nigga straight up? [RAP MUSIC PLAYING.]
Tree stout, they call me Metaphor the Great But my mother Named me Jabrayo Jabrayo got it You know what I mean Come on Where you all do this That's nothing, come here Ain't nobody playing With none of y'all You want a problem You want a problem You got a problem Let's get it, let's get it [GRUNTING.]
[GROWLING.]
BOY: Yeah.
Ha-ha.
Yeah, you didn't see that coming, did you? [GRUNTING.]
[INDISTINCT RAP MUSIC PLAYING.]
Did you see that? I hit that fool like BOY: Yeah! BUTCH: You gonna beat Butch? Come on.
[INDISTINCT RAP MUSIC PLAYING.]
[CHUCKLES.]
[YELLING.]
Ow.
Ah.
[GROWLING.]
[SCREAMS, GRUNTS.]
You had enough? You had enough of Butch? Ha! [LAUGHING.]
Is that all you've got? Little bitch.
You gonna give me my chain back.
Force, not the type To bury the hatchet I'm more the type to bury You bastards in caskets Watch your mouth [GRUNTS.]
When I'm in the building I'm not famous for nothing Like Paris Hilton Well, you were looking for hate.
Way to go.
Shut up, punk.
Instead of being Mr.
Funny Nigga, why don't you try being.
Mr.
Help-a-Nigga- Get-His-Chain-Back? Man, I gotta find a way to get it before Thugnificent finds out.
Riley, let the chain go.
Thugnificent wants it, he can handle it.
Then he'll think I'm a punk and kick me out the crew.
It's just rocks and metal.
It's only worth what you're willing to give up for it.
Is it worth getting hurt again? Yeah.
Going to jail? Yeah.
Getting killed? Yes, sir.
Kissing a man? Yeah, yeah.
Oh, no.
Whoa.
Kissing a man? I mean, if it feels natural, and that's what you're into No, that don't count.
That's a do over.
I didn't know you was gonna say that.
Guess you really want that chain.
No.
The answer is no! [DOOR CLOSES.]
Hell no, I don't agree with Huey.
Don't let nobody take nothing from you, boy.
Shoot, I remember back when I let a friend borrow my copy of Al Green's Live in Tokyo.
He never gave it back to me.
Then when I asked for it, he said he didn't have it.
Well, I knew he was lying, but he would never let me back into his house after that.
Well, one day he wins this all-expense-paid trip to Hawaii.
And after he left, that's when I made my move.
I knew it.
Wow.
That is so gangster.
You ran up into his crib? Sure did.
But you wanna know the brilliant part of this story? He didn't win no all-expense-paid trip to Hawaii.
I bought those tickets myself.
Nice move, Granddad.
So you spent, what, a thousand dollars to retrieve a $20 album? Well, back then it was probably more like a $5 album, but I got my album back.
Nobody can say they got one over on your granddaddy.
I'm original O.
G.
You do whatever it takes, boy.
Whatever it takes.
[?.]
Oh, come on, Ed, you gots to help me out.
Kidnapping? Uh- I don't know, Riley.
My grandpops would be tripping, man.
Why don't you try something different, like diplomacy for a change? Man, just snatch him up, and if the nigga don't have the chain, get to regulatin' him, and make him tell you where it at.
ED: Now, what I want you to do is think.
Just think of these two grapes [WHIMPERING.]
as your two little itty-bitty kiddy testicles.
[MUFFLED YELL.]
Where is the chain? I don't know! I swear to God! Don't swear to God.
I talk to God all the time, and God happens to be the one that told me to torture you, you lying, stealing motherfucker.
You gonna tell me where that chain is.
I know that.
Ed, can I talk to you outside? Please.
Look at my face.
Look at it.
I'm gonna crush your kiddy penis with this hammer when I get back, if you don't tell me where that chain is at.
Now, Ed.
Oh, no! That's the wrong kid, Ed.
I told you to grab Butch Magnus, Well, how was I supposed to know it's wrong? I gave you a picture, man.
How hard is it to grab the right kid, Ed? You told me to grab a kid.
I grabbed a kid.
You don't like the way I do it, then do your own kidnapping.
You know what? That's your only freebie.
You want me to kidnap anybody else, you're paying top dollar.
That's not fair.
You grabbed the wrong kid.
Tough titty.
[WHIMPERING.]
My bad.
You go ahead and leave.
What the fuck you looking all scared for? I said you was free to go, right? Which part of "my bad" do you not understand? Oh, so now you wanna make this a whole big fucking thing, huh? Well, fuck you then.
Whoa, whoa, okay, okay.
Enough, man.
Enough.
No, no, I'm sick of this shit.
I'm trying to squash it, right? And this motherfucker's acting like he hurt and shit.
I ain't even touched this motherfucker yet.
I ain't even brushed past you yet.
I ain't even made eye contact with your punk ass.
Yeah, come on over here.
I'll give your ass something to cry about.
What's up, world? This is Sway.
A member of the Lethal Interjection crew was apparently the victim of a violent robbery in the exclusive suburb of Woodcrest today.
The perpetrator, a local 12-year-old named Butch Magnus Milosovic, talked to us with apparently no fear of repercussions.
Yeah.
You know, all I'm saying is, you know, I caught one of them Lethal Interjection cats out here slipping.
You know, I ain't gotta say which one.
But, uh, if he wanna buy his chain back, he know where to find me.
[CHUCKLES.]
I ain't hidin'.
SWAY: Thugnificent could not be reached for comment.
I'm sorry, guys.
I did everything I could to get it back.
Why didn't you tell us when it got took? I didn't want y'all to think.
I couldn't handle my own business like a man.
Riley.
That's the whole point of belonging to a crew, nigga.
So you ain't never got to worry about handling shit like a man.
Yeah, man.
We don't fight fair, nigga.
We believe in overwhelming force.
Flo, go with the little nigga to get his chain back.
Yeah, I'll go with you right now and beat the little shit into the dirt.
Fuck the bullshit.
Come on, let's go.
Wow.
You know, you guys are good role models.
[?.]
FLONOMINAL: Butch Magnus.
[GRUNTS.]
Yeah, motherfucker.
You fuck with one member of the Lethal Interjection, you're fucking with every last one of us.
Come try all that tough shit with me Ooh.
Oh, man.
[THUDS.]
Oh.
My motherfucking leg.
Leg, uh Man, you can take this piece-of-shit chain.
My dad had it appraised.
He said it was worthless.
Oh, Jesus.
My motherfuck Oh.
Oh, Jesus.
You broke bitch.
Get a real chain.
FLONOMINAL: My leg is broken.
[FLONOMINAL SOBBING.]
Motherfucking stupid-ass bitch.
Motherfucker.
RILEY: Know what? It's still better than an old funky necklace.
Call some-motherfucking-body, Riley! We crew, nigga, remember? Help me, Riley! I'm a cutthroat baller Like O.
J.
Simpson Remember, we crew! ? Little homey, listen ? [?.]
What's good with you, Earth? This is your boy, Thugnificent, representing Terra-Belle, Georgia, you know? Lethal Interjection moving next to your home.
Check the chain, nigga.
I know y'all love my music, and love my videos and shit, but be fully prepared to drink hella Haterade, nigga.
'Cause y'all about to see how good it is to be me and how bad it is to be you.
We got plenty of ho's bending, we got 24's spinning.
It's Thugnificent's crib, nigga.
Let's roll.
I like to give haters something to hate right when they get to the door, nigga.
WOMAN: Ding dong.
Not nobody do it like this here, nigga.
We do it real grande around here, man.
Ain't nobody got one of these: A doorbell with real bitches singing the notes.
Ding dong.
That's right, nigga.
Whore-bells.
[LAUGHING.]
Yeah, you know, I believe in investing in the arts.
And I believe in investing in myself.
Now, this shit right here, this is some old John Woo shit, nigga, from the movie Killer.
Know what I'm saying? That's me, though.
You mad? You hating, my nigga? Well, it's hard not to, nigga.
Ha-ha! You might wanna send your lady out of the room for this next one, man.
She about to look at you like a serious disappointment.
A living room with a motherfucking Jacuzzi, nigga.
Oh, but there's more, my nigga.
This is the straw that breaks the haters' camel's back, nigga.
I got Hulks on tap, nigga.
Observe.
[?.]
Shit.
This one nigga came through here with his bitch.
Left with a case of hate poisoning, nigga.
You know what I'm saying? Hey, Flo.
Tell 'em about that nigga that got his spirits crushed by the diamonds and shit.
He killed hisself, took his own life and shit, you know? Suicide note was some shit about his ex-girlfriend and all of that.
We all knew that the shit was about the diamonds and the rubies and the Jacuzzi.
Now, this aquatic adventure park is especially for y'all niggas out there with your little inground pools, diving boards or whatever.
Step your pool game up, nigga.
We slide down with ours.
You know what I'm saying? Your bitch does.
[LAUGHING.]
Now, this right here is what I like to call my bitch tank, and this bitch is Debbie.
Y'all broke niggas keep buying fish food if you want.
Hey, don't sweat it, homey.
'Cause when it's time to show the world how the broke niggas live, maybe MTV will come to your house, and it'll be your turn to shine, but until then, tell your moms to get off my dick, nigga.
And get the hell up out of here, bitches.
I am the stone The builder refused I am the visual The inspiration That made lady Sing the blues I'm the spark That makes your idea bright The same spark That lights the dark So that you can know Left from right I am the ballot in your box The bullet in the gun The inner glow That lets you know To call your brother sun The story that just begun The promise Of what's to come And I'm 'a remain a soldier Till the war is won Won Chop, chop, chop Judo flip Chop, chop, chop Judo flip Chop, chop, chop Judo flip Chop, chop, chop THUGNIFICENT: To being on Cribs.
The fulfillment of a lifelong dream of the last six or seven years.
RILEY: It was a big day for my homey, Thugnificent, being on Cribs and all.
I love to see my niggas on TV shinin', 'cause when they shine, I shine.
Sort of.
Goddamn.
Could somebody tell me what time it is? What's wrong with your watch? The sun is reflecting all this ice.
I can't see a thing.
Man, get the fuck out of here.
No, for real, nigga.
Look.
Oh, shit.
Damn, man.
Flo, you got your stunna shades? Yeah.
Put the motherfuckers on, nigga.
Tell me what time it is.
Damn, nigga.
It's 2:30.
Hey.
The doorbell girl was wondering if you're expecting more company, because she can stay if you want, but in 20 minutes it's gonna be time and a half.
Time and a half? Hell no.
Send that bitch home.
Mack, the ho's are supposed to be here at noon.
What the fuck? Man, Quinten just texted me.
He say the ho's is en route.
Quinten's ho's is always en route.
They ain't never in here.
Damn.
We might as well be working at Kinko's.
Hey, Thugnificent, I'm taking off.
Just wanted to say thanks for the opportunity.
It was great.
Hey.
Why don't you stay and kick it with us? Hey, hey.
You sure you gotta leave? Sorry.
My boyfriend's here.
He wanted to meet you so bad, but he's gotta get back to work at Kinko's, so bye.
Hey, did you want the water slide to keep going? Because it is getting expensive.
I mean, it's your money.
I'm all, like, it's- Whatever.
No.
No, cut it off.
Shut it off! [FAUCET SQUEAKING.]
[SQUEAKING, MAN SCREAMING.]
My ass! Hey! Who turned off the motherfucking water?! Stomp 'em in the nuts We'll stomp 'em in the nuts We'll stomp 'em in the nuts.
I'm 'a Hey, guys.
What I got to do to become a member of Lethal Interjection? Man, you wanna be down with us? You're talking about joining a family.
This crew is made up of niggas.
I've known my whole life, shorty.
Except Flonominal and Macktastic, who I met through the label, but we're like brothers though.
Lethal Interjections is about rags to bitches, nigga.
Man, I'm about rags to bitches too.
It's about getting paper, my nigga.
Now, you know I'm all about getting my paper.
Come on, man, you gots to let me in the crew.
Now, Riley, I want you to know that even though we doin' it real grand, if this rap shit don't work, we running up in nigga's houses.
You know what I mean? For real.
Better believe that.
We're gonna be hittin' the streets, son, moving mad rock all day, selling that real heavy drug shit.
MAN: Know what I mean? All day, son.
Or we be flipping them burgers at Wendy's, my nigga.
You know what I mean? With fries and shit.
I'll do whatever.
Shakes, all that.
Extra ketchup.
"You need some napkins?" You feel me? What the fuck is you-? What the fuck was that? I'm sorry, man.
THUGNIFICENT: Shut the fuck up.
I wasn't thinking about it when I did it.
I- I should've said, like, Burger King.
Let's just go to the initiation.
The first test is the agreeability test.
Before you are a member of the team, we have to make sure you share my Thugnificent taste and sensibilities.
[RAP MUSIC PLAYING.]
Ho-ho, shit, nigga.
That motherfucker's banging.
You hear that bass line? It's blazing, son.
That shit is incredible, kid.
I mean, it's hot-hot, but you know me.
I would just turn up the bass a little higher in the monitor Fuck you, nigga.
Nobody give a fuck what your dumb ass think.
Give me this motherfucker.
Get your ass out of here, hook-ass nigga.
MAN 1: Tired of this.
MAN 2: Punk-ass, pussy-ass nigga.
Get the fuck out of here with that bullshit.
MAN 1: Beat it.
MAN 2: Nigga.
[CLANGS.]
Anyway, Riley, what do you think? Uh, I think it sounds really good.
Are you sure you like it? 'Cause if you wanna be down with the Lethal Interjection crew, you got to really think it sounds good.
I do.
How good? Uh, real good? Okay, you passed.
Next is a test of courage.
[?.]
[ENGINE REVVING.]
[TIRES SCREECH.]
[GRUNTS.]
Yeah, yeah.
ALL: Yeah.
Oh, hey, shorty.
[ALL TALKING INDISTINCTLY.]
You got it, nigga.
Get on and do that thing.
Yeah, yeah, my niggas.
What up, dog? What, what, what? [GASPS.]
[SCREAMING.]
[THUDS.]
[CREW SHOUTING.]
[GROANS.]
MAN 1: Yeah.
Hey! MAN 2: Do that shit.
Yeah! I see you, homey.
Go ahead, nigga.
Ride it out, nigga.
The third test is a test of intelligence.
Find a way to get some ho's over here.
[ALL LAUGH.]
MAN: Do it, man.
Yeah, good luck with that one.
I can get ho's over here.
What y'all niggas know about MySpace? Uh, wait.
Yo, word to mother, I heard about this shit.
You know what I mean? I know a lot of girls on MySpace.
I mean, I don't pay much attention to 'em though, 'cause I be's all about my paper.
Yo, you talking to girls your age, or grown-up girls and shit? Man, grown up.
They got little pictures of each one too so you can see what they look like.
And you can reach these ho's and tell 'em to come over and get bucked-naked? Yep, yep.
How many? I don't know.
About a hundred, 110 thousand.
[ALL GASP.]
MAN: Damn.
RILEY: See, this search engine hooks it up so that I can find all the ho's in a 50-mile radius that are fans of your music.
Hey, yo, dog.
You're like a motherfucking computer genius and shit- Oh, wait.
Goddamn.
Want me to ask them to come over? [WOMEN LAUGHING.]
MACK: Say, baby girl.
Hey, boo, check it out.
Come holler at a pimp one time with your fine yellow ass.
Come here.
Let me holler at you.
WOMAN: Uh-uh.
Well, fuck you then, bitch.
Bucket-mouth ho.
Well? Not bad for short notice.
So- So am I in the crew? Do I get a chain? Come back tomorrow, partner.
Yeah, yeah.
[?.]
I'm gonna get a chain.
Oh, of course.
Now I get it.
Huey, you not a real nigga like me, see.
You don't understand how bad a nigga need a chain.
If I had a chain, everything in my life would be perfect.
Well, what happened to the chain that Aunt Cookie bought you? [?.]
Nigga, you know that wasn't no chain.
That was a necklace.
This'll be a real chain.
Ooh-hoo.
Man.
I can't wait for niggas to start hating.
I can't wait.
So you judge your success by the amount of ill will you generate from those around you? Hey, if niggas ain't mad at you, then you doin' something wrong.
By that definition, then, you have a very bright future.
Thanks, man.
THUGNIFICENT: Having been shown to be a nigga of impeccable character, I do hereby announce that Riley Freeman is officially part of the Lethal Interjection crew.
All the hate and envy that I've collected with this chain over the years will now transfer to you.
Now, just remember what you represent when you have it on, and be proud of it.
There isn't a single member of the Lethal Interjection crew that isn't ready to die for his chain, nigga.
MAN: Uh, no, not me.
Uh-uh.
Well No thanks.
except for Leonard.
But he's bitch-made.
Your chain, my nigga.
Your chain.
Yeah.
[RAP SONG PLAYING.]
Whoo I done came up Yeah Got my name up ? So when they speak Of who blinged up I'm who they bring up Come up dissing And you'll come up missing I'm a cutthroat baller Like O.
J.
Simpson Little homey, listen, Try and serve me I'll put a .
25 in your back Like Barry Bonds serves you On the streets Or on the beat Y'all ain't able 'Cause true artists Or rappers Like major labels What's with the ice cream Homey, change your face 'Cause he done Do more to tan you Than to change your race Girls love Metaphor And I love them back Addicted to gettin' head Chicks call me the brainiac Battle rap with words War like jihad Like dope 'fore crack My notepad be rehab Both y'all see these You can't See these or touch these Rhymes so chronic, my songs Give you the munchies [GROANS.]
[BOY LAUGHS MENACINGLY.]
[?.]
RILEY: As soon as I woke up, I knew who took my chain.
Butch Magnus Milosevic.
Butch Magnus? Crazy Butch Magnus? Ha.
Something's wrong with that kid.
The most fucked-up child I've ever met in my life.
My long-ass, sorry, motherfucking goddamn life.
Butch Magnus? Awful, terrible human.
It makes me sick to think of him.
I'm gonna vomit now.
RILEY: Otherwise known as "One-Punch" Butch.
He like to jack you first, and then ask for your shit all after the fact.
What kind of sandwich is this? [GRUNTS.]
What are you listening to? Let me ride your bike real quick, bitch.
Last year, Butch was expelled from the Jesus, Mary and Joseph Academy for Boys for assaulting a nun.
[GRUNTS.]
Give me this shit.
[GASPS, SCREAMING.]
[GRUNTS.]
He even made it on one of them Maury Povich episodes, where they send them kids to boot camp.
You listen to me, you fat turd.
I'm not your mama, and I'm not gonna [SCREAMING, GRUNTS.]
[WHIMPERS.]
[?.]
Uh-oh.
Looks like someone caught a beat-down.
Ain't nobody catch no beat-down.
I got snuck by this bully, Butch Magnus.
He sucker-punched me.
Hm? A bully, huh? There's only one way to deal with bullies.
You gotta stand up to him.
I remember when I was young, there was one bully, big dude.
I forget his name.
Anyway, he used to pick on anybody.
Steal your bike, your chain.
And one day I had enough.
And I confronted him.
And I had a gun.
But I didn't want to use my gun.
Back in my day, we fought with our hands.
Deebo, that was his name.
Deebo.
Big, old, ugly dude.
And- And I had a friend named Smokey.
And then I grabbed myself a brick- Granddad, you didn't live that.
That's from that movie, Friday.
Oh, yeah.
Heh-heh-heh.
Well, the lesson is still the same.
Uh, wait, what was the question? BOY: Dude, that is really sweet.
That's like a sweet piece of RILEY: Hey.
Bitch Magnus.
BOY 2: Uh-oh.
What did you call me? I called you a bitch, 'cause you's a bitch.
What, you thought I wouldn't come see you? Thought you wouldn't get the taste smacked out of your mouth for trying to jack young Reezy.
You better fall back, nigga.
You can't beat me.
I'm Butch Magnus.
[SCREAMS.]
You real good when you come out of nowhere and sucker punch.
Why don't you fight a nigga straight up? [RAP MUSIC PLAYING.]
Tree stout, they call me Metaphor the Great But my mother Named me Jabrayo Jabrayo got it You know what I mean Come on Where you all do this That's nothing, come here Ain't nobody playing With none of y'all You want a problem You want a problem You got a problem Let's get it, let's get it [GRUNTING.]
[GROWLING.]
BOY: Yeah.
Ha-ha.
Yeah, you didn't see that coming, did you? [GRUNTING.]
[INDISTINCT RAP MUSIC PLAYING.]
Did you see that? I hit that fool like BOY: Yeah! BUTCH: You gonna beat Butch? Come on.
[INDISTINCT RAP MUSIC PLAYING.]
[CHUCKLES.]
[YELLING.]
Ow.
Ah.
[GROWLING.]
[SCREAMS, GRUNTS.]
You had enough? You had enough of Butch? Ha! [LAUGHING.]
Is that all you've got? Little bitch.
You gonna give me my chain back.
Force, not the type To bury the hatchet I'm more the type to bury You bastards in caskets Watch your mouth [GRUNTS.]
When I'm in the building I'm not famous for nothing Like Paris Hilton Well, you were looking for hate.
Way to go.
Shut up, punk.
Instead of being Mr.
Funny Nigga, why don't you try being.
Mr.
Help-a-Nigga- Get-His-Chain-Back? Man, I gotta find a way to get it before Thugnificent finds out.
Riley, let the chain go.
Thugnificent wants it, he can handle it.
Then he'll think I'm a punk and kick me out the crew.
It's just rocks and metal.
It's only worth what you're willing to give up for it.
Is it worth getting hurt again? Yeah.
Going to jail? Yeah.
Getting killed? Yes, sir.
Kissing a man? Yeah, yeah.
Oh, no.
Whoa.
Kissing a man? I mean, if it feels natural, and that's what you're into No, that don't count.
That's a do over.
I didn't know you was gonna say that.
Guess you really want that chain.
No.
The answer is no! [DOOR CLOSES.]
Hell no, I don't agree with Huey.
Don't let nobody take nothing from you, boy.
Shoot, I remember back when I let a friend borrow my copy of Al Green's Live in Tokyo.
He never gave it back to me.
Then when I asked for it, he said he didn't have it.
Well, I knew he was lying, but he would never let me back into his house after that.
Well, one day he wins this all-expense-paid trip to Hawaii.
And after he left, that's when I made my move.
I knew it.
Wow.
That is so gangster.
You ran up into his crib? Sure did.
But you wanna know the brilliant part of this story? He didn't win no all-expense-paid trip to Hawaii.
I bought those tickets myself.
Nice move, Granddad.
So you spent, what, a thousand dollars to retrieve a $20 album? Well, back then it was probably more like a $5 album, but I got my album back.
Nobody can say they got one over on your granddaddy.
I'm original O.
G.
You do whatever it takes, boy.
Whatever it takes.
[?.]
Oh, come on, Ed, you gots to help me out.
Kidnapping? Uh- I don't know, Riley.
My grandpops would be tripping, man.
Why don't you try something different, like diplomacy for a change? Man, just snatch him up, and if the nigga don't have the chain, get to regulatin' him, and make him tell you where it at.
ED: Now, what I want you to do is think.
Just think of these two grapes [WHIMPERING.]
as your two little itty-bitty kiddy testicles.
[MUFFLED YELL.]
Where is the chain? I don't know! I swear to God! Don't swear to God.
I talk to God all the time, and God happens to be the one that told me to torture you, you lying, stealing motherfucker.
You gonna tell me where that chain is.
I know that.
Ed, can I talk to you outside? Please.
Look at my face.
Look at it.
I'm gonna crush your kiddy penis with this hammer when I get back, if you don't tell me where that chain is at.
Now, Ed.
Oh, no! That's the wrong kid, Ed.
I told you to grab Butch Magnus, Well, how was I supposed to know it's wrong? I gave you a picture, man.
How hard is it to grab the right kid, Ed? You told me to grab a kid.
I grabbed a kid.
You don't like the way I do it, then do your own kidnapping.
You know what? That's your only freebie.
You want me to kidnap anybody else, you're paying top dollar.
That's not fair.
You grabbed the wrong kid.
Tough titty.
[WHIMPERING.]
My bad.
You go ahead and leave.
What the fuck you looking all scared for? I said you was free to go, right? Which part of "my bad" do you not understand? Oh, so now you wanna make this a whole big fucking thing, huh? Well, fuck you then.
Whoa, whoa, okay, okay.
Enough, man.
Enough.
No, no, I'm sick of this shit.
I'm trying to squash it, right? And this motherfucker's acting like he hurt and shit.
I ain't even touched this motherfucker yet.
I ain't even brushed past you yet.
I ain't even made eye contact with your punk ass.
Yeah, come on over here.
I'll give your ass something to cry about.
What's up, world? This is Sway.
A member of the Lethal Interjection crew was apparently the victim of a violent robbery in the exclusive suburb of Woodcrest today.
The perpetrator, a local 12-year-old named Butch Magnus Milosovic, talked to us with apparently no fear of repercussions.
Yeah.
You know, all I'm saying is, you know, I caught one of them Lethal Interjection cats out here slipping.
You know, I ain't gotta say which one.
But, uh, if he wanna buy his chain back, he know where to find me.
[CHUCKLES.]
I ain't hidin'.
SWAY: Thugnificent could not be reached for comment.
I'm sorry, guys.
I did everything I could to get it back.
Why didn't you tell us when it got took? I didn't want y'all to think.
I couldn't handle my own business like a man.
Riley.
That's the whole point of belonging to a crew, nigga.
So you ain't never got to worry about handling shit like a man.
Yeah, man.
We don't fight fair, nigga.
We believe in overwhelming force.
Flo, go with the little nigga to get his chain back.
Yeah, I'll go with you right now and beat the little shit into the dirt.
Fuck the bullshit.
Come on, let's go.
Wow.
You know, you guys are good role models.
[?.]
FLONOMINAL: Butch Magnus.
[GRUNTS.]
Yeah, motherfucker.
You fuck with one member of the Lethal Interjection, you're fucking with every last one of us.
Come try all that tough shit with me Ooh.
Oh, man.
[THUDS.]
Oh.
My motherfucking leg.
Leg, uh Man, you can take this piece-of-shit chain.
My dad had it appraised.
He said it was worthless.
Oh, Jesus.
My motherfuck Oh.
Oh, Jesus.
You broke bitch.
Get a real chain.
FLONOMINAL: My leg is broken.
[FLONOMINAL SOBBING.]
Motherfucking stupid-ass bitch.
Motherfucker.
RILEY: Know what? It's still better than an old funky necklace.
Call some-motherfucking-body, Riley! We crew, nigga, remember? Help me, Riley! I'm a cutthroat baller Like O.
J.
Simpson Remember, we crew! ? Little homey, listen ? [?.]