The Guild (2007) s02e08 Episode Script
Emergency!
When we saw that the server was going down, there has never been a man in history so eager to escape a girl's bedroom.
The good thing is, Vork dropped the whole Zaboo thing and rushed home to implement his GEMA strategy.
Stands for Guild Emergency Management Agency.
I'm serious.
I wonder if this is a sign.
The server is trying to tell me something"Save me.
" Or just get me off the computer.
Or hook me up.
Not with Vork, God! No, no, that's not what I meant.
I meant just, uh I don't know what I meant.
That is such a bad visual.
Order! Order! Ouch! Codex, I enjoyed our "us" time together today.
But only barely.
Um, thanks? She thinks I'm smothering her.
She vag'd out on me earlier.
So I'm giving her what she wants.
"Talk to the Hand'd.
" My interest in what you're talking about is low to moderate.
I'd like to bring to order Hey, Bladezz! I got some packages in the mail today! Oh, yeah? You likey? Are you deaf? I wanted the mauve purse! They didn't have mauve! There was a purpley one and a pinky one! All those woman colors look alike! He's sending you stuff in the mail now? Shut up, Codex! I'll never send you stuff! Okay, look, send it back to me, and I'll get them to exchange it! Actually, I think I want both now.
Can you arrange that? Pretty please? Uh, yeah, sure.
Whatevs.
But do you think this time I could give them a real address instead of a PO Box? No.
And while you're at it, can you throw in a couple more gift certificates, too? Thanks, hero.
No more interruptions! Don't make me issue citations! Clara! Are you here? Clara! Go Raven Crest High! What? As you all know, the server is going down, and we need to formulate a plan to work through this horrible time.
- Together.
- Like after 9-11? Very similar.
Since this is a fixed window of downtime, I will hold off on declaring martial law Declaring what? And I've decided to open this up to suggestions as to how we can spend our time most efficiently, like a democracy.
Reminder this is not a democracy.
Let's go to the Fenridge tavern and drink ale! - The server will be down, Clara! - What? No! It's my "me" weekend! I want an orb! Why are we wasting time on a meeting? Without the game, there's no Guild.
With no Guild, you are not the Guildmaster, Vork! - You have no power! - I well I just Whoa.
Low blow'd.
Hey, Bladezz? I'm working on strengthening my core via male bonding.
So why don't you come over here and tear up the house with Vork and me? Yes! Bladezz is ready to partay! I'll have my Mom drop me off! Yeah, have her do it near the Burger Hut down the street.
It'll go over better that way.
And don't wear any bandana-type clothing.
Gangsta'd.
You'll get shot.
Ooh! I want to come! I want to come! Guild party! Fun! No! Under no circumstances! Five people in the house! I don't want the fire marshal here! No! But I'm super fun at parties! I used to haze girls at my sorority with bungie cords and squirt guns full of mayo! My idea! Clara, sometimes guys need to be together and do deep stuff, like bonding and crap.
If we have to have this game IV ripped from our veins, then we just have to use the time to man up.
This is my task, and I will accomplish it! Fine! Then we'll do something lady-ish without you losers! Ooh, girls, let's do dinner! How about somewhere we can all go to the bathroom together and pee! Um, I actually have plans.
- What? - What? - What? - What?! Not that I care.
Well, I just I want to unpack.
There's so many cute things around here.
I don't want to trip and fall over them again.
Got it? Oh You don't want to "stuntman" your growth.
Why don't you just shove things against the wall? But it's a good opportunity to get to know the new apartment people.
She's got to open her box for the neighbor! Right.
No.
Maybe, but Okay.
I'm just logging off.
Ugh! What now? Codex, I won't miss you for the four hours that we are parted.
Why would he punch you? Because I confronted him about squeezing your boob! Oh.
That.
Yeah, and your sister is really upset, too.
Why didn't you tell me that you're her matron of honor? Because, frankly, I found it rather rude.
Hello! Matron? Anyways, I have to go.
Hearing your voice is making me feel really, really Ionely.
Ugh! Two minutes of my "me" time gone! Ooh
The good thing is, Vork dropped the whole Zaboo thing and rushed home to implement his GEMA strategy.
Stands for Guild Emergency Management Agency.
I'm serious.
I wonder if this is a sign.
The server is trying to tell me something"Save me.
" Or just get me off the computer.
Or hook me up.
Not with Vork, God! No, no, that's not what I meant.
I meant just, uh I don't know what I meant.
That is such a bad visual.
Order! Order! Ouch! Codex, I enjoyed our "us" time together today.
But only barely.
Um, thanks? She thinks I'm smothering her.
She vag'd out on me earlier.
So I'm giving her what she wants.
"Talk to the Hand'd.
" My interest in what you're talking about is low to moderate.
I'd like to bring to order Hey, Bladezz! I got some packages in the mail today! Oh, yeah? You likey? Are you deaf? I wanted the mauve purse! They didn't have mauve! There was a purpley one and a pinky one! All those woman colors look alike! He's sending you stuff in the mail now? Shut up, Codex! I'll never send you stuff! Okay, look, send it back to me, and I'll get them to exchange it! Actually, I think I want both now.
Can you arrange that? Pretty please? Uh, yeah, sure.
Whatevs.
But do you think this time I could give them a real address instead of a PO Box? No.
And while you're at it, can you throw in a couple more gift certificates, too? Thanks, hero.
No more interruptions! Don't make me issue citations! Clara! Are you here? Clara! Go Raven Crest High! What? As you all know, the server is going down, and we need to formulate a plan to work through this horrible time.
- Together.
- Like after 9-11? Very similar.
Since this is a fixed window of downtime, I will hold off on declaring martial law Declaring what? And I've decided to open this up to suggestions as to how we can spend our time most efficiently, like a democracy.
Reminder this is not a democracy.
Let's go to the Fenridge tavern and drink ale! - The server will be down, Clara! - What? No! It's my "me" weekend! I want an orb! Why are we wasting time on a meeting? Without the game, there's no Guild.
With no Guild, you are not the Guildmaster, Vork! - You have no power! - I well I just Whoa.
Low blow'd.
Hey, Bladezz? I'm working on strengthening my core via male bonding.
So why don't you come over here and tear up the house with Vork and me? Yes! Bladezz is ready to partay! I'll have my Mom drop me off! Yeah, have her do it near the Burger Hut down the street.
It'll go over better that way.
And don't wear any bandana-type clothing.
Gangsta'd.
You'll get shot.
Ooh! I want to come! I want to come! Guild party! Fun! No! Under no circumstances! Five people in the house! I don't want the fire marshal here! No! But I'm super fun at parties! I used to haze girls at my sorority with bungie cords and squirt guns full of mayo! My idea! Clara, sometimes guys need to be together and do deep stuff, like bonding and crap.
If we have to have this game IV ripped from our veins, then we just have to use the time to man up.
This is my task, and I will accomplish it! Fine! Then we'll do something lady-ish without you losers! Ooh, girls, let's do dinner! How about somewhere we can all go to the bathroom together and pee! Um, I actually have plans.
- What? - What? - What? - What?! Not that I care.
Well, I just I want to unpack.
There's so many cute things around here.
I don't want to trip and fall over them again.
Got it? Oh You don't want to "stuntman" your growth.
Why don't you just shove things against the wall? But it's a good opportunity to get to know the new apartment people.
She's got to open her box for the neighbor! Right.
No.
Maybe, but Okay.
I'm just logging off.
Ugh! What now? Codex, I won't miss you for the four hours that we are parted.
Why would he punch you? Because I confronted him about squeezing your boob! Oh.
That.
Yeah, and your sister is really upset, too.
Why didn't you tell me that you're her matron of honor? Because, frankly, I found it rather rude.
Hello! Matron? Anyways, I have to go.
Hearing your voice is making me feel really, really Ionely.
Ugh! Two minutes of my "me" time gone! Ooh