The Legend of Vox Machina (2022) s02e08 Episode Script

1
[screeching]
♪
- [boy] Over here.
- [man] The finest
[indistinct chattering]
Mmm, nice melons.
[Keyleth] First off,
your hometown is
Wow. [chuckles]
But
how can a city just
teleport to the Fey Realm?
In times of danger,
the Elven nobility have
arcane means of moving it.
It's rarely seen.
Right this way
Whoa!
[yawning]
[laughing]
- You led us here for your amusement, didn't you?
- Oh, of course not.
Going around would have
meant pixie territory,
and you do not want
to tango with pixies.
No, straight through
is the fastest
way to the Shademurk.
Come, come.
[speaking indistinctly]
My shift still has
a few more hours to go.
Certainly are a lot of guards.
More than I remember.
We're almost through.
Just a few more blocks
and we're
fucked.
[guard] Outsiders,
state your names and purpose.
Lower your weapons.
We seek an audience
with Ambassador Vessar.
Huh?
[sighs] We're his children.
♪
♪
♪
[creatures screeching]
[Percy] Real Vermaloc wood.
Your father has
gold standard taste.
Always did.
Except when it came to us.
What do you mean?
Be honest.
Do I look like
I come from nobility?
It's easy to act noble.
Just be a bit of a shit and wear
what everyone else is wearing.
I've known many people
with money and titles,
and they are definitely
not worth you.
[Vax] Devana.
[Devana]
We weren't expecting you.
Um, your father
will be down shortly.
And somewhere
around here is, uh
Who're you talking to, Mom?
Oh, right.
You haven't met Velora yet.
Our daughter.
A sister?
Hi. I love your feather.
[sighs]
Then it's yours. [chuckles]
A gift from your
half sister, Vex'ahlia.
Call her Vex. And me Vax.
[gasps] The twins!
But Father said
you'd never come back.
What, and miss the chance
to meet you?
Ah. A travesty.
[Velora giggles]
Your father will be
pleased to see you.
[Syldor clears throat]
Perhaps I would have been
had you notified me you'd be
gracing us with your presence.
- [knocking on door]
- [Pike] Anyone home?
[Scanlan panting]
[Wilhand] If you've come
for my money or my goats,
I don't have any.
Pop-Pop, it's me, Pike.
[Wilhand] Pike?
Oh, it's you, Pike!
Thank the gods.
I thought you might be
some of those burgling brutes.
Now, wh? Look at you, dear.
Real vestments.
Oh, you're so beautiful.
[laughs]
This is
my great-great-grandfather,
Wilhand Trickfoot.
And
this is Scanlan.
[clears throat]
At your service.
[grunting]
[whoops] Grog!
Did you forget to eat?
Hi, Pop-Pop. I fucked up.
Oh, I wish I could say
that I've
I've seen him look worse,
but I don't think I have.
Come on. Help me get
this big boy on the table.
[Pike] Oh, come on, buddies.
And so, when Emon fell,
we had no recourse
but to retreat to the Fey Realm.
We've been amassing arms
and training our soldiers
to confront the dragons.
So you plan to join the fight.
[sighs] That's wonderful.
More like they
turned tail and ran.
[Syldor] Why are you here?
To dispatch the very dragons
that chased you away, sir.
[Syldor] And you are?
Percival Fredrickstein
von Musel Klossowski de Rolo III
of the royal house
of Whitestone.
Well, then, Lord de Rolo III.
What can Syngorn do for you?
I assume you've heard how Vox
Machina slayed one of the dragons.
I'm unfamiliar with
a Vox Machina.
We're a Vox Machina.
I mean, um
We are Vox Machina.
We've come for an ancient
weapon said to lie
- in the Shademurk.
- The Fenthras Bow?
You've heard of it?
A powerful relic.
Legends say it fires arrows
strong enough to wound a titan.
I see.
You want to chase a fleeting
rumor into a desolate waste.
That bow could be the key
to defeating the dragons.
You should be proud.
Your son and daughter
are leading the fight
against the Chroma Conclave.
[Syldor scoffs]
You needn't spin false tales
of their exploits.
The very idea
of Vax'ildan and Vex'ahlia
standing up for
the greater good is
well, rich.
[sighs] You unbelievable prick.
This is a trying time
for all of us.
Have you any idea
the burden your sudden arrival
has caused my family?
We didn't come for a reunion.
And yet, here you are.
Throwing my name around
whenever it suits you.
I despise your name.
No, it's fine.
- No harm intended.
- But he just said
It's fine.
Thank you for your time, Father.
If you can offer us
any assistance,
we would be most grateful.
[sighs] Of course.
It's the least I can do
for family.
Almost done.
This pill is going to pack
quite a wallop.
Ooh. [chuckles]
[moans]
I got to swallow that?
[laughs] No, no, no, no.
This one ain't going down
the frontside flapper trap.
Oh.
Oh!
Wait, but how's Grog going to
He's too weak to, um,
you know, give it to himself.
[Scanlan] Uh, allow me.
I know how to work both ends.
Pumpkin, you might just want
to avert your eyes.
[Scanlan whistling]
Everlight, protect Grog
and the rest of our friends,
wherever they are.
[howling]
[Velora] Why do you
have to leave?
You just got here.
We'll see you again.
And no matter where we go,
we'll be thinking
of you, little one.
[laughing]
[Syldor] This decree
promises safe passage,
but once you leave our walls,
you're on your own.
Hmm. You'll need to amend
one name, though.
It's Lady Vex'ahlia.
Lady?
Lady Vex'ahlia, Baroness
of the Third House of Whitestone
and Grand Mistress
of the Grey Hunt.
So, good sir,
despite your relationship,
do watch your manners
towards a noble.
I will not be amending this
for a meaningless title.
Really, de Rolo,
such a transparent ploy
is beneath your dignity.
Don't you dare
talk to him like that.
We came here seeking aid
and you insult my friends?
Yes, once again, no appreciation
for my years of civility.
Oh, you expect me
to feel sorry for you?
After everything you've done.
Or rather haven't done.
We won't fail.
Which is more than I can say
about you as a father.
[Syldor] Then prove me wrong.
Show me that bow
and I will give you the welcome
you think you deserve.
Until then,
do not bother me again.
Oh, fuck you!
We're leaving.
What does "fuck you" mean?
[chuckling]
Kids. So adorable.
[water gurgling]
[cheeping]
[grunting]
- [exhales]
- Hmm?
[Vax] Oh, goody.
You're back.
Never left.
Turned invisible.
Wouldn't have missed your little
family tiff for the world.
Tell me,
why aren't your ears
as big as your dad's?
[Percy] I should apologize
for springing that title on you.
I hope it didn't upset you, Vex.
It's Lady Vex.
[laughs]
Of course.
Your father really
is quite the, uh
Bag of cocks?
Yeah. Yeah, pretty much.
[sighing]
No one,
other than my brother,
has ever stood up
for me like that.
Thank you.
I may have wits and class,
but I'll never have what you do.
A pure heart.
It's so special, Vex.
And no one can take it away.
[Vex scoffs]
We spent our childhood
with Mother,
then Father had us
brought to live with him.
I never understood.
Why did he pull us
away from her when he
he had no love for us?
Must have felt good to tell him
to fuck off, though.
Hmm, I wish it had.
Somehow I feel like
it hurt me more.
[Percy] Here.
I made something for you.
[Vex chuckles]
[sighing] It's wonderful.
Thank you.
And you know
I think I'll feel much better
when I shove that bow
in his stupid, smug face.
[Garmelie] Onward we go.
[grunting]
[creatures screeching]
[Percy] I see something ahead.
[Garmelie humming]
[Keyleth] This place
I feel darkness.
I can connect with the plant
roots, but I only sense
sadness longing.
[sighs] What did this to you?
[squelching]
- [Saundor] My heart
- [Vax] Do you hear that?
[Garmelie] Don't listen to him.
[Saundor] felt the pain.
Clear your heads.
Block it out. Oh!
[Saundor hissing]
- What the hell was that?
- [Keyleth] Whoa!
[Vax] We're not fond
of surprises.
Start talking.
Oh, it's fine, it's fine.
The Shademurk is home to
a cursed Archfey named Saundor.
But as long as you don't
submit to his voice,
his sadness won't turn you.
Ah! How reassuring.
[Vax] Stubby, keep up.
[Saundor] Vex'ahlia
Oh
I had the craziest dream.
[groans]
[grunting]
[exclaims]
Oh. So, I'm gonna be
like this forever?
No, not necessarily.
Come on. The medicine
got rid of your corruption.
We're cheering.
But for your strength
to come back, well,
your body is gonna need
a kickstart.
Some significant stimulation.
I got to simulate myself?
- I mean, okay
- [Wilhand] Shut that hand!
Back it up.
We're talking about
a boost, a jolt.
Your muscles will awaken, poof,
when they're properly aroused.
Aroused?
I'm getting real
mixed messages here.
My buddies, no moping.
We're gonna solve this, okay?
[croaking]
[Garmelie] As promised,
the Shademurk Bog.
[grunts]
Wow.
[gurgling]
[Vex] Fenthras must be
in that tree.
[squelching]
[Saundor] Vex'ahlia,
come closer
[gasps]
- Sad.
- [Keyleth] Ah?
Vex? Are you all right?
[Keyleth] Ah
She doesn't look all right.
Ah, Vex, wait up.
[Vax] Vex?
[grunting]
How is she passing
through this muck?
Vex'ahlia!
[Saundor whispering]
[Vex] Can you hear me?
[Saundor] Not only hear you.
See you.
Feel you.
I can understand your pain.
If approval is what you seek,
your father will never give it.
But a fellow lost soul can.
I await, dear one.
- [Percy] What is this?
- [Garmelie grunts]
My cue to leave.
You won't see Garmelie again!
- [Percy] Vex'ahlia!
- [Vax] Vex, wait!
[Keyleth] Don't go in there.
[gasps]
[squeaking]
[Vex exhales]
[Saundor] Child of the lost
[squelching]
[Saundor] Saundor's madness
and pain has found you.
[echoing] Sweet,
broken Vex'ahlia.
Unwanted daughter.
I understand you.
[Percy] Stand clear!
[grunting]
[Vax] Sister!
[cracking]
[grunting]
[Percy] No!
[muffled yelling]
How do you know
so much about me?
[echoing] The moment
you touched my sickness,
I knew everything.
[gasps]
Here, father.
[echoing] You made this for me?
It is as beautiful as you,
my Vex'ahlia.
You can rise above
your trembling destiny.
I have seen many things.
And I can grant many gifts.
[grunting]
[muffled yelling]
[muffled] Vex'ahlia!
[Saundor] But being abandoned
by love can be liberating.
You've been the good daughter.
You've tried.
But it will never be enough.
You will never be enough.
If I could pull the blood of him
from my veins and give it back,
I would.
I could grant that wish.
But it is not what you need.
♪
[muffled speaking]
[grunting]
Fenthras, however,
this bow could earn his respect.
What would you ask in return?
[Saundor] Only what
you long to give.
We would be perfect together,
dear broken Vex'ahlia.
- [roots crunching]
- [Saundor] I can fix you.
Make you whole again.
And all I need from you
is your heart.
[Vex] My heart?
- [grunts]
- [crunching]
My heart is someone else's.
- [grunts]
- [grunts]
No. You're making a mistake.
Please. You need me!
You could never give me
what I need.
Bitch. You're just
like the rest.
- [snapping]
- [gasps]
[muffled grunting]
[grunts]
[exclaims]
Sister!
[growling]
[Keyleth gasps]
[grunting]
- [growling]
- [Vax] Um
[Keyleth grunts]
Damn things don't bleed!
How do you fight a tree?
[whooshing]
[groans]
I've got an idea, but I need
you two to keep them busy.
[grunting]
[panting]
[Saundor grunts]
You reject me?
[creaking]
[grunting]
Damn right, twig dick.
[grunts]
[grunting]
[panting]
[Saundor] You're ruining
everything!
[rumbling]
[grunting]
[both grunting]
[grunting]
[growling]
[shouts]
[groaning]
[growling]
[roaring]
[whooshing]
[roaring]
[buzzing]
[growling]
[crackling]
[panting]
And that is how
you fight a tree.
[gasping]
[Saundor] You think
you can leave me?
[Vex pants]
[grunts]
[grunting]
Ah!
[grunting]
[crackling]
[grunts]
[exclaiming]
[grunting]
[pants]
[gasps]
[panting]
[shouts]
[choking]
[echoing] Not so tough now,
are we?
[grunting]
Vex'ahlia!
Alone and afraid.
Now you realize the truth.
[sobbing]
I think I do.
I realize
your words are as empty
as your corrupted heart.
[grunting]
[Saundor groaning]
[moaning]
[growling]
[Vex] Fenthras.
♪
We should return to Syngorn.
Bet you're eager
to show your father that.
Actually
I'm not ready.
I don't think
I can talk to him again.
Not yet.
Don't let him get under
your skin, Stubby.
He is who he's always been.
[Vex] I know.
And so am I.
[Garmelie laughing]
What a show.
I usually hate the theater,
but that had it all: drama,
action, family shame
I distinctly remember you
saying we'd never see you again.
Yes, I did.
And you won't,
because you lot
are going home.
[snaps fingers] Cheza.
How the fuck?
You have given me
more entertainment
in the last two dusks
than I've had for millennia.
So, I figured you deserve
something in return.
This should take you
back to Tal'Dorei.
What are you, really?
Excellent question, fancy-pants.
But I'm afraid it'll have
to wait until the next time.
Portal's closing.
[Vax] Ah, shit, right.
Everyone through.
The Fey Realm is definitely
better in the books.
♪
Travel safe, friends.
Stay alive. [snaps fingers]
[whooshing]
[Wilhand] All right, Grog.
Come on,
get your juices flowing.
Show me some anger.
Right.
I would like to rage!
[crunching]
Ah!
[grunts] Ah, I pulled a muscle.
[moaning]
That's good. That means
you've got a muscle to pull.
Attaboy!
[Pike] I was hoping we'd all
be back together,
but we can't just wait.
I think we have to go
to Westruun.
Huh? Uh why there?
For vestiges.
Mythcarver showed me
those gauntlets, remember?
In the city?
Shit.
If they're in Westruun,
I know who has them.
[Pike] What?
That's amazing.
So this'll be easy, then.
- [Grog moans]
- Grog?
What's wrong?
Those gauntlets
belong to my uncle.
He killed me with 'em.
♪
♪
Chirp.